136-S: 10 Keys To A Peaceful Marriage with Belah Rose

7 Mar
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Peace is a vital element to the life God wants for us. If you have strife in your marriage, I have been there and I pray this will give you hope and tools to get it turned around. These are the keys I’ve learned that have made my marriage so much more peaceful than I ever would have imagined.

What You’ll Discover:

  • 1- Relationship with God should be where you get your meaning, worth and fulfillment
  • 2- Free Choice
  • 3- Prize Peace, peace is more important than most things
  • 4- Understand & Point out Each Other’s Strengths-
  • 5- Be slow [and quiet] in responding
  • 6- Be inconsistent & be ok with it
  • 7- Appreciate the small things
  • 8- Compliment in the direction you’d like him to grow
  • 9- Seek first to understand then to be understood
  • 10- Sex is a big deal

 

Tweetables:

  • Your worth and fulfillment cannot come from your spouse. It has to come from God.
  • You can’t control other people, you can only control yourself.
  • Love cannot blossom if there’s not free choice.
  • Recognize that peace is more important than most things.
  • “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Resources:

 

Love,

Belah

 

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General Outline:

 

  • 1-
    • Relationship with God should be where you get your meaning, worth and fulfillment
      • has to be more important than your marriage
      • the state of your marriage will never trump the state of your connection with God
  • 2-
    • Free Choice
      • boundaries
      • boundaries is knowing what you’re responsible for and understanding what others are responsible
      • you can’t change others, you can only change yourself
      • your job is not to control others, and have appropriate consequences so others can’t control you
      • love can only blossom in freedom
      • God gave us free choice
  • 3-
    • Prize Peace, peace is more important than most things
      • let go of most things
        • part of that choosing not to control is letting go…its scary
      • choose to be easy going
      • ask yourself: is it worth it?
      • practice saying to your spouse “Whatever you think”
      • I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
  • 4-
    • Understand & Point out Each Other’s Strengths-
      • not focus on the differences but how you compliment each other, you’re weak where he is strong and vice versa
      • Decide to defend your spouse’s confidence and self esteem
      • Stop the competition
      • Stop making fun of your spouse
  • 5-
    • Be slow [and quiet] in responding
  • 6-
    • Be inconsistent & be ok with it
      • be willing to be wrong one moment and right the next and right one moment and wrong the next
      • non of us are perfect
      • your spouse knows you’re not even if you think they didn’t realize it
      • Make it into a joke
      • feel free to call your spouse right
  • 7-
    • Appreciate the small things
      • Fill the gaps with gratitude and compliments
      • give him a reputation to defend
      • The small things make up the big things matter
  • 8-
    • Compliment in the direction you’d like him to grow
      • give him a reputation to defend
  • 9-
    • Seek first to understand then to be understood
      • Communicate using numbers 1-10
  • 10-
    • Sex is a big deal
      • Understand what sex means to him