167-Why He Became Romantic, Part 3 (Belah’s Husband Tell’s All)

21 Nov

This is Part 3 of Why we became romantic. I was a generous wife in intimacy and I felt loved in some areas, but I didn’t feel loved outside of the bedroom. The romance on dates, the random gifts, the consistent compliments, the surprises etc were missing.

(Part 1 is more of the theory behind it and Part 2 is the beginning of my discussion with my husband that exemplifies this process.)


  • Being happy and pleasable makes my husband motivated to plan and give me big surprises
  • My husband takes note of “I would like” but rejects specific commands.
  • “Its not what you say, its the way you say it.”
  • Deciding where to focus, the negatives are easy to remember.
  • When you say it, it stays in the records. Encouragement “erases” the bad
  • Before I surrendered I was in charge of the finances, and now that he is, we’re much happier (less stress for me and more confidence for him)
  • I am closest to my husband so I can affect him the most: in your self-conception, who you are in the world

Ultimately, Belah’s husbands feel her changes caused the marriage to change. Caused him to change.

Resources: Emotionally Healthy Relationships Course; Financial Peace University, Surrendered Wife