DYM Ep16: Sex Addiction Should Have Broke Them with Bonny Logsdon Burns

31 Mar
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Sex Addiction Should Have Broke Their Marriage (1)

Hi there! Belah here. Today I have Bonny talking about her story. Bonny of oysterbed7.com has been married for 20+ years. Her story is about God’s redeeming power of something that could have broke them. Bonny was raising 3 kiddos almost single-handedly when she learned of a secret that caused her so much pain.

Scripture/Quote:

  • Psalm 27:13-14 “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”
  • Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
  • Ephesians 5:21 “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

They did'nt understand eachother

You’ll Discover:

  • Bonny was surprised by a sad revelation about her marriage, in the midst of caring for her kids by herself it almost broke her.
  • It was only when Bonny said she was totally broken that she had to rely completely on God and He brought her the resources.
  • She admits that though her husband made serious mistakes, she also didn’t understand or meet his needs.
  • As we’ve all felt I’m sure: “Who wants to make love when you don’t feel valued?” But what she learned “His way of showing my value and connection was through sexual intimacy”.
  • She shares exactly how she was able to extend him grace. The grace that ultimately saved her marriage.
  • She says “some of our husbands were exposed to pornography very early. So when daddy yells at them or tells them they’re stupid or worse and they happen upon porn, what a fun release. For 10 min they can forget that Dad just called them an idiot”. What an insight!
  • She goes on to share that this addiction early is actually a intimacy disorder, that can be “grown out of” with hard work.

 DYM Podcast quote (33)

Books & Resources Mentioned:

Tweetables:

  • He had needs that I didn’t understand and I had needs that he didn’t understand.
  • We get stuck in the thought of ‘I’m never going to change, this is the way I am’. No you can evolve. You give it to God, and He’ll change you.
  • He didn’t understand I needed conversation to feel connected. I just wanted to meet him over coffee and he wanted to meet me in the bedroom.
  • You have to not put your foot down in the very beginning and say I’m never going to forgive you. Let yourself process through the rage it’s healthy. But don’t stay there.
  • What happens in childhood is not your fault. You have to heal from it, but it’s not your fault.
  • If you are having any kind of sexual issue, don’t struggle alone.

marriage advice quote

Thanks for listening! I hope you are encouraged to live in wholehearted intimacy!

Love,

Belah

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