DYM Ep50: 10 Ways Sex Teaches Us About God with Belah Rose

21 Jul
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Hi there! Belah here. Today is a solo show I made because I felt it was time that I share a piece of my mind about how sex relates to God. On this episode, I give out 10 points on how sex actually teaches us about God and what he tells us through scripture. I believe that sex is a metaphor to marriage, and it is vital between husbands and wives. Join me and open your minds so you may see and understand clearly how sex can teach us a lot about God. Have a blessed day!

Want to deepen intimacy? Looking to move past your barriers getting in the way? Sign up now for a FREE Strategy Session with Belah to see if you’re a good fit for 1:1 Coaching directly with Belah! Email belah@delightyourmarriage.com before July 31, 2015!

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Scripture/Quote:

  • When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, “Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the LORD.” Hosea 1:2
  • And the LORD said to Moses: “You are going to rest with your ancestors, and these people will soon prostitute themselves to the foreign gods of the land they are entering. They will forsake me and break the covenant I made with them. Deuteronomy 31:16
  • Yet they would not listen to their judges but prostituted themselves to other gods and worshiped them. They quickly turned from the ways of their ancestors, who had been obedient to the LORD’s commands. Judges 2:17
  • “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:4-6
  • Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25
  • “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Ephesians 5:31
  • But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Corinthians 7:9
  • An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels. Proverbs 18:1
  • We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

You’ll Discover:

  • The 10 ways sex teaches us about God—point by point!
  • Some amazing scriptures from the Bible and how it translates to the essence of sex in every marriage
  • How we should accept our spouses for who and what they are
  • How sex should be a lifelong commitment

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Tweetables:

  • God made sex. It was his before the world’s.
  • We have the choice to say, “I chose you. And I am not giving up on you.”
  • We are not perfect. We cannot be. But God does not give up on us.
  • God’s love encompasses sexual love.
  • The best sex is without fear—no fear of judgment, rejection, condemnation, criticism.

Thanks for listening! I hope you are encouraged to live in wholehearted intimacy!

Love,

Belah

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Transcript:
  • Does your intimate relationship seem utterly and necessarily separate from your relationship with God?
  • Maybe you have gotten to a place where you’re ok with that understanding, but you wouldn’t say it out loud?
  • Wherever you’re starting, my goal for you to come away with intrigue.
    • I’d like you to desire deeper revelation for God’s holy design for sex.
    • I want to whet your appetite to the glory and holiness of sexual intimacy.
  • 1. It’s the Bible’s metaphor not mine!
    • When approaching the topic of sex through God’s lens, its so easy to feel our thoughts are unenlightened and immature on this vital theme running throughout our lives.
    • I’m sure you and I both realize the world’s infatuation on this topic. But let us not forget that God made sex. It was His first. So we need His help in allowing us to understand sex from His perspective.
    • Here are just the beginning of the many ways the Bible speaks about marital sex as a metaphor for God’s relationship with His people
      • When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, “Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the LORD.” Hosea 1:2
      • And the LORD said to Moses: “You are going to rest with your ancestors, and these people will soon prostitute themselves to the foreign gods of the land they are entering. They will forsake me and break the covenant I made with them. Deut 31:16
      • And yet they would not hearken unto their judges, but they went a whoring after other gods, and bowed themselves unto them: they turned quickly out of the way which their fathers walked in, obeying the commandments of the LORD; but they did not so. Judges 2:17
  • 2. Jesus says sex is vital.
    • Lets look at what Jesus says about sex: “And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh’? “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Matt 19:4-6
    • Firstly, wow. Did you read what I just did? Jesus said God made them male and female for this reason they should wed and become one flesh. What!? So, Jesus said: God made two different kinds of humans: male and female. And because He made them different they should: 1) leave all their family/past/comfort zone, 2) get married, and 3) have sex.
    • Why would he say this? Another place this phrase comes up, when Paul says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her…‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh’” Ephesians 5:25 & 31 This shows a bit more of God’s heart for sex. There is a sanctification that goes on in the process of lovemaking.
  • 3. Marriage Teaches God’s Love
    • If you’ve ever been married you know that the day after the fantastical wedding celebration, real life sets in. And it’s not always a fairytale. You begin to understand that person you fell in love with leaves dishes in the sink for you to clean. He has weaknesses that annoy you. He may even have selfishness that rears it’s ugly head at the moment of your desperate need.
    • Because marriage is intimate. You become the closest person to your husband. The longer you are together, the more you find out who they really are. And you love them anyway. You choose to love even when you don’t like them. And if you choose to do that, you may have the opportunity to see more. He may trust you enough to let you closer. A lot of that “more” you see, however is dark and bad. He might let you in on sin that shreds your innocent, doe-eyes and little-girl ideals. It’s unfair and wrong and hurtful. But, you have a great opportunity: to forgive and say “I chose you and I am not giving up on you.”
    • Tears are welling in my eyes as I see God’s heart for us in that that picture of marriage. We are not perfect. We cannot be. In marriage or elsewhere. But God does not give up on us. He knows us. And He loves us so much, even when what we are actively doing pierces his heart.
    • In marriage we see what God does for us everyday. And His love is deeper than ours. His love is truer than ours. His love is more vulnerable than ours. And we get an opportunity to love the way He loves us in our marriage, every single day.
  • 4. Why does God want us to be totally intimate with our mate?
    • Honesty is the best policy. Yes it is. And sex in marriage is honest. Sex is such a metaphor for marriage in general. When we strip down the layers that cover who we really are, our spouse sees it. He sees it all. In marriage you really can’t hide who you are. To be blunt, in a single night or short-lived relationships, you can hide. But not in marriage. You can only pretend for so long until either you A) open up (which is what I’m rooting for!) or B) you allow fear to swallow you and force you to run away (the real reason for divorce and sexless marriages, I think).
    • When you’re regularly making love, you’re exposed to who this person really is. Your own flaws are exposed (and I’m not talking about your belly giggle). You and I both know everything follows us into the bedroom: our impatience, our selfishness, our habit of distraction, our insecurities…even our thoughts and food choices that day.
    • When we have someone who we trust that loves us that much, ask us to make a different choice in our thoughts and actions, then we feel empowered and encouraged. But when we (or they) are hiding, and keeping themselves from us, that needed trust is eroded. The platform that should be used to give loving help and support in making each other more holy, is instead a platform that induces great hurt and sorrow.
  • 5. God’s love encompasses sexual love
    • Though our society says differently, sexual love is not necessary. You are complete even if you don’t have and never have sexual love in your life. How do I know? Paul was fully satisfied in God’s love and was able to do amazing things to which we are still marveling thousands of years later. (Not to mention Jesus…) The truth is, God’s love encompasses every kind of love. God’s love is enough for the single person to not sin and still feel fully content.
    • But, Paul advises us not to burn with passion. If you can’t feel fulfilled without physical sexual love, then get married (1 Cor 7:9). Which is a sign to those who are married: your husband chose not to live without sexual love (keep that in mind!). Paul is very aware marrieds need to be making love consistently. Interesting that he doesn’t say “since I can be sinless and chaste, you should be too”. No. He says “know yourself. If you cannot live this life without sex, get married so it can be a great part of your life and support your work for the kingdom!”
  • 6. Sex needs to be in a lifelong commitment, aka marriage.
    • Our society says you can have great love and sex without commitment, but I disagree. Maybe you can have a seemingly healthy relationship with all the perks of marriage, but none of the commitment. But the issue is fear. There is either fear of being known, a calloused heart unwilling to be known, or an unconfirmed trust that the other person will be forever faithful.
    • A partnership without a lifelong vow doesn’t have the safety to let down the guards and be known. The guards stay up and your heart becomes hard and isolated. The Bible says, “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment” (Proverbs 18:1). Being known is God’s plan for us. Letting the light in, confessing our sins to one another, iron sharpening iron…all is a process of becoming more like God.
  • 7.  Communing regularly is vital.
    • You can’t have sex once and decide that you know everything about your mate. It’s a process. It’s a gradual unveiling of that person’s heart and body. Sex is not the same every time. There are new ideas, ways of expressing sensuality, positions, ways of touch to make your husband feel deeply loved. In the same way, we cannot expect a healthy vibrant relationship with the Lord unless we are intentional to seek out an encounter with Him. I mean: go to church, read the Word, journal prayers to Him, pray while you’re walking to work, enjoy His beauty reflected in nature… Have a full relationship with your Father in heaven.
  • 8. Understanding is important.
    • You need to seek out some God-given truths. It is important to understand your mate. No matter how in love you two are, there are some very real differences that you should understand. Men think about sex differently than women. Obviously, bodies are different. And the particularities of pleasure is unique to men and women. This is my passion, to teach women the particularities of their husband that is honored and enjoyed in marital intimacy. We also need to be taught about the truths of God. If you love Him, you’ll seek out what He is like. You’ll read what is God’s character all about. You’ll be taught how He wants to be worshipped and deserves our honor and love. How God cannot look at sin. How He is jealous for His bride.
  • 9. Sex shows us God’s Love.
    • Sex is best in marriage. Because the best sex is without fear. No fear of judgment, rejection, condemnation, and criticism. Perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). Making love is best when both parties want to make the other person most delighted, most honored, most desired, and feel most loved.
    • As you become more and more loved and trusting of your mate (something I continue to learn through every intimate experience), you begin to tap into the greatness of love God has for them. When you tap into that, you begin to tap into the greatness of love He has for you. God cares that much and more for your mate, therefore He loves you that much and more.
  • 10. Sex is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church.
    • This article may not make much sense intellectually; the good news is, we’re not alone. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. Eph 5:31-32
    • At least we’re not alone. I believe we can see a part and believe God will show us more. We haven’t arrived.
    • But, just because we can’t understand it intellectually, we can trust that God created sex, that He wants it in your marriage, and that it’s a beautiful, true, holy example of God’s love towards us.