DYM Ep91: Dealing With Anger with Kimberly Holmes

5 Apr

Dealing With AngerPI: If your spouse’s go-to response is anger, it’s not easy. How can you guide the conversation into peace and even encouragement when it has such strong emotions? Or what if you’ve established a pattern of anger and hurt in your marriage? Well, today I have Kimberly to talk about the experience she and her husband went through around anger and how she learned that there specific ways to put your marriage back on track. What can you do to turn the tide?

Find out more about Kimberly at marriagehelper.com


You’ll Discover:

  • How Kimberly’s marriage struck rocky times when they had to reintegrate after extended time apart.
  • How her husband’s anger was causing Kimberly to feel that she had done something wrong.
  • How Kimberly learned that relying on her husband’s emotions and approval of her made her very insecure.
  • The specific steps she took to regain her confidence and allow her to have control of her interaction in the marriage.
  • How she learned who her husband was and what he needed from her in order to end the anger she received.
  • What specific questions she asks herself when responding to her husband’s anger.

Lonely bc he needed space


  • I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. Rev 3:8



  • Love Factually: shares evidence about how elderly husbands often die within a year of becoming a widow but women often go on years because they have other intimate friendships
  • 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People: seek first to understand rather than be understood
  • The different stages of life where we have specific expectations from our spouse and how that factors into our arguments… (So sorry DYM listener, I couldn’t find the book I had read this in, it was years ago!)



  • It was a huge shift when I realized this anger isn’t really about me.
  • I found myself in a place where I was seeking all my affirmation from my husband instead of God.
  • We started getting better when I started backing off.
  • Some days were very lonely for me, but my husband needed the space for him.
  • Seek first to understand rather than be understood. -Stephen Covey
  • No one wants to be around someone they cannot feel safe with.
  • God is not going to return you void.
  • God will fight for you.
  • You don’t have to make your husband humble, God will do that.


Thanks for listening! I hope you are encouraged to live in wholehearted intimacy!





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