0:02

Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host belah Rose.

0:19

Welcome back. Thank you so much for joining me. I’m belah rose, and I’m joined by my bestie. Keller Ronan on for the second half of today’s interview, if you didn’t get a chance to listen to the last half, I want you to go back and do that. But just to catch you up, she talked about how life, you know, was a series of rollercoaster up and downs with dating and falling in love and heartbreaks, and really living for herself and not really finding fulfillment in that weird, right. But then God really took a hold of her and caused her to make some big big changes, and how she went through and did that. So go back and listen to that if you can get it did not get a chance. But today, we’re talking about how saving sex for marriage was a great choice. But it also ended up making some things challenging. And I really appreciate what Keller gives this really authentic perspective that I don’t think is shared very often at all. So, yeah, so go ahead and listen in and be inspired about what steps they took to make things different. Because the nice thing is it ends up with a lot of hope and a lot of inspiration for anyone married or looking to be married. Yeah, tell me, what your marriage what happened? What would your marriage become?

1:52

Yeah, our marriage. As I mentioned, in my last interview, we entered marriage without having sex. And for a year and a half, we, we were, you know, just really committed to living a pure, a pure life and honoring God in our relationship as much as we could. And I guess I kind of want to talk a little bit about you know, what that meant, for us, it did not mean that everything started off perfect. And it did not mean that, you know, because we had this, you know, time of waiting that that we were then, you know, instantly rewarded with this amazing sex life. And it was like clockwork, and our honeymoon was just perfect and wonderful. It was actually a lot more difficult than that. And I think that, you know, really, on our honeymoon, we had this amazing two week trip together and the the most time we’d ever spent with one another uninterrupted. And I think that, you know, Satan really tried to attack our sex life in that, in that time. And it was really, it was really, really challenging. We ran into a lot of difficulties with the expectations that we had, and had kind of built up in our minds of what it would be like, and, you know, feelings of disappointment and sadness, and anger at you know, at ourselves and for things, you know, not working well, and not really knowing what to do about it. And, you know, I remember just one night specifically, and sigh, just, you know, we just, we were at our wits end, and we didn’t know what to do. And he just, you know, confided in me that he felt very overwhelmed with the whole thing. And we just cried, and we just, I just called out to God to help us, we just really didn’t know what to do and just ask that he would help our sex life. And we just kind of put it into his hands and ask that he would help make it easier, help help our bodies to work well together, help us to get out of our heads, and to let go of the expectations that we had had. And I’m so grateful that he really came through and answered those prayers. And, you know, definitely wasn’t an overnight thing. But slowly, but surely, things started to click easier. Things started to work. And, you know, we both felt like, Okay, this, this works are we work? And that that was a huge relief for us. And so, but yeah, I think it’s a unique kind of thing that a lot of Christian couples probably don’t talk about who, yeah, who go into marriage, you know, I save sex for marriage, and I did it the way that God says, and that meant that we had a perfect sex life and it’s just really not true. So I mean, I guess I, I wish that we had been a little bit more prepared for you know, for how difficult it was going to be and you know, just coming into a completely blind and, you know, I mean, both of us had had sexual experiences before the marriage but it was just it was very different with you know, a new person and you know, years have gone by now since holder sitting with anybody and so yeah, I would say that was one thing, but it’s definitely Not how our marriage looks now. Yeah, see,

5:02

before you go into that, I just want to kind of underline a couple things. First of all, I’m just so grateful that you’re so brave to see this color, because I just feel like it’s not set enough, it’s not understood that that, you know, when you save marriage, it’s still it’s still going to be a process of learning and understanding each other’s bodies and, and figuring things out together. And honestly, you know, in retrospect, I wonder if you’ll agree, but, you know, that’s, that’s some of the real joy of it, because you do become adept at each other’s bodies and figuring this out together and being awkward together and being really vulnerable together, right? Yeah,

5:40

no, definitely, I think, you know, having, I feel like there are these moments in, in your relationship where you, you can look back and say, Wow, that was a really real moment where we, we both changed in that moment. And I think I can think back to a few times in our dating relationship, and a few times, even now, in our marriage, where we both have just, you know, broken down and just cried and had to just pray through it together and get through what whatever was, you know, really troubling as a disease really raw moments. And I feel like, you know, figuring out our sex life is no different. And getting through those barriers and those walls that, you know, I feel like the kind of the process of being in a marriage is really like a kind of process of stripping away the walls that have been built up and erected between you. And I just feel like every time we can get through one of those walls, you know, we’re getting, we’re getting closer to being really unified. You know, we’re getting closer to, to the relationship that God wanted for us all along, and the people he wanted us to be and so yeah, I think it definitely is a gift. And God set it up just the way that that he wanted it to be that this is how sex should be explored. It should be explored in a safe place where you can be fully vulnerable, you can cry, you can be sad, you can, you know, have to really talk things out and hash things out. And yeah, in the safety of a marriage that is forever, that he’s walking away. So yeah, that’s really true.

7:08

Yes, in the safety of a marriage, that is forever, it’s, it’s beautiful. I mean, it Yeah, it just makes a lot of sense. And, you know, I think, again, a lot of our listeners know, but on my first marriage, you know, I was a virgin when we got married, and I just wish someone had just clued me in that marriage can be hard to figure out. Like, it’s not, it’s not necessarily something that, you know, we say it’s all quote unquote, natural, and it’s just going to happen and XY and Z. But, I mean, how devastating was that for you to be like, Wait a second? What?

7:43

Yeah, I definitely. I mean, it was, it definitely was, I think it was really, on both of our end. And I think for men, it’s a little bit different. Like, for sigh You know, he was surrounded by guys who were living the way, you know, that the world says is how guys go about dating, they talked about sex all the time. And it was, you know, just this, you know, part of their lives that just happened so easily. And nobody ever had problems. Nobody ever said, you know, this is tough, or, you know, and it just was never He never had entered his consciousness, I think that things just wouldn’t work like clockwork immediately. And, and just the way that it’s built up so much, and even the fact that we weren’t doing it, you know, you think about it a lot. And it does have, it has the potential to become this really big. You see it, it gets built up is like this amazing, incredible, which it is. But I think the expectations can kind of get out of control. And I think that that was something that had happened for us just, you know, having this expectation of something that was really unrealistic and not really attainable. And then, you know, then the feelings of kind of disappointment of this isn’t what I thought it was going to be, I thought this was going to be you know, different. And like the movies and like how my friends say, Russia, and so then that’s like a little mourning and heartbreak that kind of comes in there. And then trying to change how you’ve always thought it would be and just coming to terms with reality, and then being able to then move on once you’ve kind of put those to rest. And then you are able to I think achieve, you know, a much greater depth of intimacy than you had ever imagined. And you’re able to kind of push forward and set new baselines and then top those and then wow, I didn’t know sex could be discrete. And that’s where we are at this point of in our relationship of, you know, continually being able to explore it and figure out you know, how much how much more intimacy God wants to give us and we’re just so open to it. So,

9:46

huh, that is so excited. Okay, so you had you said a second ago that you wish you had been a little bit more prepared. What do you mean by that? How could you have been more prepared

9:57

now? Yeah, I feel like we are We tried so hard to be prepared for what? Yeah, like we did we, we did pre engagement counseling, we read books about marriage together, and about intimacy and marriage, I think it’s difficult to say, I guess, it would have been helpful for me to know a little bit more about the mechanics, I guess, or even to just Yeah, knowing more about the mechanics would have been helpful going in I know, everybody thinks they know everything there is to know about their bodies, but you just really didn’t. And, and I think, talking about our expectations, and trying to maybe just bring our expectations down a few notches, and, you know, kind of do it without expectations as Yeah, as hard as that sounds, to just go into it with an open mind. And, yeah, just and try to even prepare ourselves for you know, maybe this isn’t gonna work, like maybe the first Yeah, and it just be terrible. And we should just like that. And if, and if it’s not, then we’ll be surprised. But that would maybe be the advice I would give to people and to just not take it too seriously. You know, try to, it feels like such a big thing, especially after you’ve been putting it off for so long. It feels like you know, the culmination of, you know, lots of worry, and anxiety and thought and to just try to not take it so seriously to think that, you know, I think that was a big hurdle that we had to get over, especially for psi was, you know, is this is this what sex is going to be like, like, is this this is not at all what I thought it would be. And, you know, and having an understanding that things do change, and that it things do get better. And so, I think those would be the kind of things I wish I had said to myself before I had someone tell me beforehand, yeah,

11:44

that’s so so helpful. So, so essentially setting yourself up to succeed, honestly, because if you’re setting yourself up as it’s going to be perfect, then it’s kind of easy to fail, isn’t it? Um, he reminds me of how I kind of set myself up for my wedding, right? It’s supposed to be this perfect day, and everything’s supposed to go so well, and XY and Z, you know, ABCDEFG, like, all of it is supposed to go without a hitch and all of that. And I just wish that someone had told me the goal. And someone told me this after I got married, and I was like, this is brilliant. If you just have the goal of your wedding to be fun, yeah, a fun day. Like, it’s, it’s great, you’re going to enjoy yourself, you’re going to be able to relax, you’re going to be able to laugh, not the expectation for it to be perfect. And I guess, to me, that almost feels like the same kind of thing, lowering that if your expectation is we’re going to have it, we’re going to enjoy each other’s company that ever happens, we’re going to just enjoy it, whether we even get to get inside each other or not. Like at least we were together and smiling. I’d be like, but I also love that you also said like it might actually be terrible in the beginning. And and if you just kind of take that in stride. Like, we all have terrible things, you know, terrible experiences that are just not as good as we want them to be. And, and then I also like the hope that, you know, it’s not going to stay that way that things change. You’re right. I mean, is that so? How did it so how did you kind of get out of this stage? What changed? Yeah, I

13:28

mean, I think prayer was a big part, I feel things, you know, instantly started to get a little better after we just were open about how we were feeling, you know, sigh kind of just confessed to me that he was feeling overwhelmed just with the amount of time that we were together. And, you know, having, you know, spending a week straight with somebody after you know, that’s, it’s, it’s very intense. And that’s not something that we had talked about, you know, how would this affect somebody who’s, you know, 45% introvert to now be with another person 100% of the time. And then to kind of just take a step back I think from from our expectations and try to have grace with one another and then just keep practicing and don’t give up. I would say I think it was tough the the frequency that we were trying you know, people always talk about your honeymoon, like, Oh, you’re not going to do anything other than have sex and try and have sex every single day when you don’t really know what you’re doing and you know, multiple times a day and it’s just not it can be really exhausting emotionally I think especially if things aren’t working out so I think like you know, taking some time to rest and you know, not put so much pressure on you know, is this going to be successful? Are we both gonna have orgasms as he can have an orgasm and I am I and just trying to take that kind of off the table and focus on kind of like you said, Bella, like, just coming together to enjoy one another’s bodies like that’s what this is about. That’s you know, and and just being able to find pleasure in that without any trouble. Man on one another, I think is really helpful and difficult, it’s hard to do. Because, you know, just the the way that sex is kind of set up, you come into it feeling like you want to press the right buttons and get the right response. And, and that’s, that’s not always the best way to go about it, I don’t think and it kind of loses the, it can take some of the enjoyment out of it, if that response doesn’t come, or if it’s not achievable that day, you know, so just focusing more on enjoying the moment enjoying what you do love about the other person’s body and just finding pleasure in that. So

15:36

yeah, that’s really good. And it’s interesting, you know, just a little insight that was helpful for me, I remember someone telling me, like, if you feel like, you know, you get in, and everything’s happening and all that and, and you just feel like, you’re not going to be able to orgasm, sometimes it’s helpful to just let your hubby know that you’re not playing, you might not be able to orgasm every time like in a in a separate conversation maybe or however your body works, right. Just take that, yeah, that pressure off of you pressure off of him to kind of make whatever and and just so those honest conversations I really like, you know, being willing to talk about those things. So. So then when you when you say that, I like that you said keep practicing, you know, so how did how did that happen? Like how did you, I guess post honeymoon, like come back and kind of get things on the right track.

16:29

Yeah. So actually, after our honeymoon, we had received a book as a wedding present, which I highly recommend if you know someone who’s getting married to, to purchase them this book, it was a great gift. And it’s called the gift of sex. And it’s by Joyce Penner and her husband. And I believe she’s actually been on the podcast. And it was an it’s been an incredible journey, we we started reading it, and it kind of just opens up with the mechanics of what’s actually happening in your body, you know, being able to get really comfortable with talking about an understanding all of the different phases of arousal to you know, plateauing and all what that means and what’s going on and just learning more about the physicality and then gets into like the emotion piece, and of how I mentioned, you know, taking demand off of your off of your spouse when you’re entering into this time of intimacy and just focusing more on the pleasure that that you get from, from touch and from sensations and from focusing on those things, rather than putting demand on them to elicit this response from you. And for you to elicit this response from them. The book really helped us to kind of change our thinking around just time of intimacy. And to help us kind of one of the key principles I guess, is where I think a lot of philosophies around sex, say, you know, go after pleat, you know, become a servant, and please your partner and make that your number one goal to please them. Whereas this book, hurt their number one philosophy is, you know, don’t don’t put so much pressure on yourself to please them and to focus on the pleasure that you get from them. And to go after your pleasure and to really just focus on delighting in that moment, and delighting in your partner’s body. And that was really huge for us, because I think a lot of pressure was being put on my husband, you know, and on myself to you know, you get caught up in your mind, am I hurting? Am I hurting him is here, you know, is this? Is he getting pleasure out of this because it’s so caught up in those thoughts that you know, you’re missing it, you’re missing, right time, you’re missing what you’re feeling. And so the book goes through a lot of like, trying to figure out exploring each other’s bodies with and figuring out what you know, touches you like what things that you actually enjoy, and understanding that in them and, and in yourself. And that was really helpful, not something that we had thought about before, but it helps you to learn a lot about about your partner and how to go after your pleasures, what something they talk about a lot and what it actually takes understanding what it takes for you to achieve orgasm, and putting that kind of more on yourself to and what you need to squeeze and flex. And, you know, yeah, I guess to be right, in order to to achieve that and to get there and not putting the pressure on on the other person. So yeah, it was really helpful. I highly recommend the book. Yeah, it has a lot of really practical exercises in there to help you kind of switch that thinking and take demand off of your partner.

19:49

Okay, so a couple of follow ups and this is one of the reason that I really want to kill her on is because you know when you are newlywed, right you want to work on these things. If you see there’s there’s an area that you You need to focus on it, it really requires you to have effort exerted in that area. And I think no matter how long you’ve been married, I love Tim Keller, who’s, who read a book called The meaning of marriage. He’s also a pastor in the city, but he says, never stop working on your sex life. And this is a man that’s, you know, very booksmart you just would expect that from him. But I just think that’s so wise and and I think especially as wives we can kind of plateau and get to a place where like, Okay, we’ve got our we’ve got it figured out our routine and that kind of thing, but, but I just want to infuse kind of this fresh energy of like, wait a second, sex can get better? Yeah. Exactly. That’s really Yes. Okay. And tell me practically how you guys went through this

20:44

book? Yeah, we actually just we read it out loud to one another alternating chapters. So on road trips, or you know how chapter after work out sitting around a living room. And we just, yeah, just read it back and forth to one another, and then talk about the chapter. A lot of the chapters have like little questions or exercises, actual things that you do to, you know, explore each other’s bodies, figure out what touched you do massage exercises you do, you know, body image exercises, where you look at yourself and talk about your bodies and that kind of thing. And, yeah, it just, it had a lot of really practical tips in it. Yeah.

21:22

That’s very cool. I just wonder, you know, for those out there that are like, I don’t have time to read together. Are you kidding me? You know, like, I don’t know if this is an idea that might work. But um, you know, rather than, like, if you feel cramped for time, what if you set a timer on your phone for 20 minutes and be like, we’re just going to engage for 20 minutes in this book, however long we get through? And if it takes you two years to get through the book, like that’s okay. Yeah, by the by the time you know, I like how you talked about, like, there’s different exercises you can do and different things you can do together. And, you know, yeah, I just I just love that. And obviously, yeah, Joyce Penner, you can go back and find her episode, just search pinner on delight your marriage, you can find her she’s can’t remember the episode, I’ll have it linked up in the show notes. But anyway, that’s, uh, yeah, really, really good idea. Okay, so then, let’s move on to kind of, you know, in your marriage, what do you think has been central to your success? If you could, if you could name kind of the three major things, right?

22:23

Okay, so the three things that have been key to our marital success, I would say communication is number one, sign I communicate about everything, we’re both communicator strengths, and we definitely flex those muscles. And we really try to get into, you know, below the surface of what’s going on with one another. And, you know, apologizing and figuring out what’s going on, if there is, you know, conflict between us and not letting those things kind of stay beneath the surface and fester, but but getting them out in the open and get into a place where we can reconcile and, you know, so that’s, that’s been really key. I think also understanding we also some of the past episodes here talked about the the love languages book, The Five Love Like, just like in that book actually reveals also a concept about emotional tanks. And so I think understanding the the concept of the emotional tank, which is, you know, understanding what you need, what kinds of interactions, time alone time with friends, you need to feel emotionally full, and satisfied, and, and ultimately happy. And so, for me, I need lots of time with friends and lots of time with psi, to really feel that my tank is full. And if you know, days and days go by where we haven’t had any time, just he and I, you know, my tank starts to get low. And for sigh You know, it’s if he goes, you know, a week without any time with another male, where he could just sit and talk about sports. It gets really low. And so understanding that has been really key for us, and being able to kind of schedule our lives around, finding that balance of keeping our tanks full and giving us both more to bring to our marriage. Because when you’re lacking in one of those areas you have, you’re irritable you have less patients you have less to give less calm energy less joy to bring into the marriage and so I just I think that that’s really important to understand what what ingredients you’re you need as an individual to be happy and fulfilled and satisfied so that you can come into your marriage fully energized and being able to work out your life so that you have a good balance of those coming into your into your daily routine.

24:54

I really like that. And it it kind of reminds me of advice I got from the John Maxwell, I don’t know if anyone who’s on the line can have heard of him. But he’s a wonderful leadership author, and I just love a lot of his books. Anyway, he said, he was like doing like a q&a with like a bunch of business execs or something. And his wife was also there. And I guess she was, like sitting next to him. And the question was directed at his wife. Now, at that point, they had been married 30 years. And he said, trying to think of his wife saying they just, you know, misses maximum. Does your husband make you happy? And she flatly answered no. And like, everyone’s like, Oh, what? And John’s like, startled, and he looks at his wife. And he’s like, Well, Oh, honey, do you think you could explain a little bit? And she goes, Well, I, you know, I knew on our honeymoon, that he was never going to be able to make me happy. Like, again. And she’s like, you know, I realized that I had to make myself happy. And every piece that he’s been able to add to that has been a welcome addition of my of my happiness. So cool. I do I mean, it, but I think that just is is huge. Like, we have to figure out what what drives us what’s gonna cause us to bring a whole happy person to the marriage. First and foremost. So yeah, I love that. So great advice there. So okay, now I’ve talked, I know, we’ve talked about sex quite a bit, but tell me, um, if you could another like, it’s something that you wish someone told you about sex? Maybe early on?

26:37

Right? I think the, the concept of taking the demand off your partner is a big one, I wish that I had had understood that concept before it because it we’re still, you know, it’s not an easy thing to do. And probably the understanding to kind of broaden our view of what sex actually is. And I say that to mean, you know, like, before we were married, when sex really wasn’t on the table at all, we had so much fun just making out and that was wonderful. And you could feel the passion, you know, it was like, la hot lava between us, like, it just was so passionate. And I think, you know, once sex is on the table, sometimes it’s, it’s easy to slip into, okay, this is our sexuality now, okay, so yes, we do this and this, and then it happens, and you kind of lose all of that other gray area, before, you know, you know, from making out and sexual touching and just playing and being together and snuggling, and all those things, that should definitely be a part of the intimacy experience, and not just, you know, it’s, you know, we do this, and then it’s penetration, and then it’s over. So, I guess broadening our view of that, and spending more time, you know, enjoying the full sexual experience. And, you know, thinking about it in a holistic way of, you know, all of these things are a part of, of what make our intimacy time great. And that’s, you know, kissing and playing and just enjoying one another’s bodies. And so yeah, I wish that that had been something that I could tell myself, I guess, looking back and sending that we’re still, we’re still learning and growing through now. So

28:25

that’s so good. That’s so good. And so talking about your specific marriage, what have you know, what opportunities have you had to serve and get to know God,

28:35

and our specific marriage, we have had opportunities to serve and get to know God, as I kind of alluded to, I guess, earlier in the previous episode, but we’ve gotten a chance to talk to people, our, our single friends and our dating friends and our non Christian friends about why we decided to do something so countercultural in their eyes and get into a marriage without having had sex before with one another, and got us to really be able to talk about our faith. And, you know, why would we decide to do something like that? And, and what do we hope the outcome is going to be and, and just really gave us, you know, God really gave us the opportunity to talk about, you know, why we hoped that it would help us have a stronger marriage, a marriage that was, you know, just centered on what God wants for us and help us to be strong and teach us self control and that kind of thing. And, you know, what we hope we hope our marriage continues to be is, you know, helping to show other married couples and other friends of ours who don’t yet have a relationship with God, what it looks like to have a Christian marriage. And I think I think that that is one of the greatest joys so far of our marriage. And just recently, we were Yeah, we were at a wedding of a couple of friend of ours who they’re, they’re not particularly spiritual, and they did date for a very, very long time before getting married. And I think they were just a little, you know, disillusioned with, with marriage and you know, came from families where there was divorce and, but But after, you know, many conversations with Psy, the group was actually one of his very good friends. And after lots of conversations with us, and then it’s kind of seeing our relationship kind of take shape, they decided to get married after many, many years, and we were so excited, we went to their wedding and the the groom told, told sigh That, you know, he, he just really looked at our marriage, as you know, a model of what he wanted his marriage to be like, and he, he said, We just made it seem so fun. And it just it brought to your survivor. I just, you know, that, you know, here we are, you know, newlyweds and, you know, what, what could people learn from us, but I just feel like the way we’ve, we’ve tried to be intentional about having a godly marriage and, and honoring God in in the way we treat one another. And I’m just, I’m glad that that’s apparent, even to people who don’t know, you know, they don’t have a relationship with God at that they can see that in us. And that’s, that’s definitely what, what we want to continue to do. We want to talk about sex and talk about why we made the decisions that we made, and, you know, help people to understand that, you know, the way the world says dating and marriage should be is is not is not as good as it could be, you know,

31:23

so. Absolutely. And I even I just kind of go back to that, that thought, again, is that maybe, you know, a lot of a lot of people could think, well, you know, once they get married, it’s not like that, you know, their life is perfect, or blah, blah, blah. But I think the cool thing is that marriage really opens the door to so much more. But if you’re, you know, unfocused, and you’re chasing, you know, all these other things, but, you know, marriage gives you again, especially with your relationship with God, it gives you this, like, kind of peace, like, okay, exactly, that’s done, like, I can go repent for whatever else, but I’m not living in a continual way. That’s, you know, adhering or in disrespecting God’s God’s laws, what he says is important. And only after that, can you actually feel that freedom to really dive in after what God wants? So that Yeah, I mean, that’s awesome. Like, who knows what, what your friends are gonna be like, in a couple of years after they’ve, you know, made this choice and felt that freedom to go after God in it in a new way? Who knows? Exactly, that’s awesome. Okay, so I imagine the book that you want to recommend, we’ve talked about, give them sex toys better. So I’ll move on to the next slide. I’m going back to your one, or, you know, first week of marriage, what what’s the piece of advice that you wish you could give to you.

32:47

So going back to year one, the advice, the advice that I wish I could give to myself would be to, to, to focus on really achieving a good balance of, of time,

33:07

with my husband, with friends, in ministry, and focusing on you know, all of the different components that make this house feel happy and joyful, I would say focus on not sweating the small stuff, and focus on playing and having fun and laughing with my husband. And, you know, getting enough rest and enough time with friends and enough time with psi and enough time with God, to feel really refreshed and energized and to have my best self to bring to our relationship.

33:49

That’s wonderful. I just so appreciate Keller everything that you gave in this interview, and just your honesty and your friendship. I love you so much.

33:59

I’m so glad to be here. Thank you so much for having me on.

34:07

Could you just say that whole little story again, because I want to add that to the podcast. So, Keller, tell us about the book that you’re reading right now?

34:14

Yeah, so I’m reading this book right now. It’s a fiction book, and get past the Farfetch Ness, but it’s about a woman who she has a head injury and she loses 10 years of her memories. And so she is thinking about, you know, she feels like she’s 29 years old, and she’s in love with this amazing man. And they have this wonderful life that they’re starting together. And then she wakes up and she’s 39 and she’s in the middle of a bitter divorce and a custody battle over her three kids. She can’t remember. And it’s, you know, it just makes me think, you know, there’s so many marriages out there that if people could just, you know, get back to the place where they were when they fell in love with their husband and remember what they loved about them and how happy and giddy They were with excitement just to be around them. You know, how could they imagine breaking that up? And, you know, she’s just saying to herself, like, I can’t imagine anything that would be so big that we would split up. And yeah, I just, it’s a huge perspective. Shocker for me. Just yeah, it’s a really interesting book. I’m really enjoying it, too. It’s actually Liane Moriarty. What Alice forgot. So it’s a funny little fiction book. But yeah,

35:29

no, that’s wonderful. That’ll also be in the show notes. Thanks, stellar. Well, thank you so much for tuning in today. I’m so glad that we got to hear Keller’s amazing story and her insights that she’s gained and learned. But I just want to encourage you that if these are some actions you need to be taking to prioritize your intimacy to remember how fun and exciting it was, when you were newlyweds. I just encourage you take the time do that it’s worth it. The next week, I’m going to be doing a solo show about purifying sexual thoughts. Now, this is something that’s been on my heart for a while to talk about, and it’s something I struggled with, and many others that I know. In fact, I probably don’t know anyone who hasn’t struggled with this. But I think that God has given a lot of insight that we can use otherwise, until then I am praying for you, praying for your marriage. And God bless you. I love you and we’ll talk on Tuesday. Bye.

36:35

Thanks for joining. If you’ve been inspired by the show, would you help spread the word? If you take a moment to review and subscribe others can find us more easily. Find out how to delight your marriage.com forward slash iTunes. Until next time, live with love, wisdom impassion