{"id":9244,"date":"2022-07-29T23:05:17","date_gmt":"2022-07-29T23:05:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/?p=9244"},"modified":"2022-07-29T23:05:17","modified_gmt":"2022-07-29T23:05:17","slug":"350-never-argue-how-you-should-disagree","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/350-never-argue-how-you-should-disagree\/","title":{"rendered":"350-Never Argue &#8212; How You Should Disagree"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"powerpress_player\" id=\"powerpress_player_2113\"><!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-9244-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/traffic.libsyn.com\/secure\/delightyourmarriage\/Never_Argue_--_You_Should_Disagree_Heres_How.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/traffic.libsyn.com\/secure\/delightyourmarriage\/Never_Argue_--_You_Should_Disagree_Heres_How.mp3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">https:\/\/traffic.libsyn.com\/secure\/delightyourmarriage\/Never_Argue_--_You_Should_Disagree_Heres_How.mp3<\/a><\/audio><\/div><p class=\"powerpress_links powerpress_links_mp3\" style=\"margin-bottom: 1px !important;\">Podcast: <a href=\"https:\/\/traffic.libsyn.com\/secure\/delightyourmarriage\/Never_Argue_--_You_Should_Disagree_Heres_How.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_pinw\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Play in new window\" onclick=\"return powerpress_pinw(&#039;https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/?powerpress_pinw=9244-podcast&#039;);\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Play in new window<\/a> | <a href=\"https:\/\/traffic.libsyn.com\/secure\/delightyourmarriage\/Never_Argue_--_You_Should_Disagree_Heres_How.mp3\" class=\"powerpress_link_d\" title=\"Download\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" download=\"Never_Argue_--_You_Should_Disagree_Heres_How.mp3\" target=\"_blank\">Download<\/a><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Alternate Title: 7 Steps to a Productive Disagreement<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8212;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Arguing. Ugh. It&#8217;s so&#8230; so&#8230; unhelpful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When have you left an argument where the dust has settled and you felt 100% good with everything you said &#8212; your eyes, your words, your tones&#8230;? Everything.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In fact, how would you feel if your church congregation watched what you said and did?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Would you be proud of yourself?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Would you feel small and immature?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Usually, after an argument, I only feel the latter.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To clarify, what I mean by arguing is having elevated emotions when we start using a stronger voice and intense words.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Essentially, the judging\/reasoning\/impulse-control part of our brains (pre-frontal cortex) goes offline during that stressful conversation and we&#8217;re left with the &#8220;lizard brain&#8221; which only knows how to flight, fight, or freeze.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All the wisdom that we have cultivated throughout all of our lives and have prayed for and read about, goes out of the window during an argument.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We say things we don&#8217;t mean and throw verbal knives at each other.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sure, we might apologize for it the next day when we&#8217;re calm, but those words leave scars.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, can we ever disagree?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We need to disagree. That&#8217;s healthy and correct.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We need to be courageous and disagree about things that matter.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But we need to do it the Jesus way.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I have some very practical tips on how to disagree well, and how to honor God in it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It&#8217;s easy to use &#8220;popular thinking&#8221; and just say what you think. But the Bible is clear that&#8217;s not best.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8220;We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one\u2019s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.&#8221; James 3:1 &amp; 6<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(Also, see the full book of James for more of this type of goodness. \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How do we make sure we&#8217;re not setting forest fires with our mouth?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Well, I have given you 7 or 8 keys in this episode that if we could consistently apply, I&#8217;d be a closer reflection of Jesus, and I think you would be, too.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Love &amp; Blessings,<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Belah<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">PS &#8211; We&#8217;d love to help you with your marriage and intimacy &#8211; to be connected, and for you to rate your marriage a 9 or even a 10 out of 10 marriage!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you&#8217;re interested in finding out if we can help you, sign up for a free Clarity Call at <\/span><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><a style=\"color: #0000ff;\" href=\"http:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/cc\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">delightyourmarriage.com\/cc<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Quote from a client&#8217;s husband: &#8220;&#8230;amazing that it feels like we are newlyweds again&#8230;&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Alternate Title: 7 Steps to a Productive Disagreement &#8212; Arguing. Ugh. It&#8217;s so&#8230; so&#8230; unhelpful. When have you left an argument where the dust has settled and you felt 100% good with everything you said &#8212; your eyes, your words, your tones&#8230;? Everything.\u00a0 In fact, how would you feel if your church congregation watched what you said and did?\u00a0 Would<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":9245,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rank_math_lock_modified_date":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[719,720,247,739,721,726],"tags":[502,431,296,213,495,295,76],"post_folder":[],"class_list":["post-9244","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-encouragement","category-grow-emotional-intimacy","category-hope","category-persistance-in-relationships","category-rekindle-your-marriage","tag-care-taking-in-marriage","tag-change-yourself-for-marriage","tag-christian-marriage","tag-communication","tag-heal-your-marriage","tag-intimacy-advice","tag-marriage-advice"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9244","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9244"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9244\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9247,"href":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9244\/revisions\/9247"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9245"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9244"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9244"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9244"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/delightyourmarriage.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=9244"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}