Often I find one of the most difficult parts of marital intimacy is just getting started. If I’m tired, feeling particularly self-conscious, or just not in the zone, I want him to do all the “work” of starting. Meaning, I want him to be super sweet, encouraging, and affectionate. Then I want him to start with gentle caresses and compliments and move on to an epic experience. Don’t we all? But do we forget that he has his own stuff going on? Instead of that being our excuse to not make love, why don’t you take a cue from the wife in Song of Songs and initiate?
It seems funny but when movies show couples tearing off each other’s clothes before they even get to the bedroom, it’s easy to feel ho-hum with our less than hot-and-heavy start. Let’s keep in mind movies are a bunch of paid actors, not reality. However, your beginnings can be easier for you with some new ideas to introduce.
1. Text him on his way home “hope you’re ready for an intimate encounter once you get home!” When you greet him at the door in sexy lingerie, just ask if he got your text, and you’re off!
This takes away any question of your intents once you greet him at the door.
2. While he’s seated, come up and give him a generous shoulder rub. Let him know his shirt is getting in the way. Take it off for him and continue your massage. Then, playfully let him know his pants are also getting in the way. Give him some kisses and see where things go.
My other suggestions are purposefully more direct, but I imagine he’ll get the picture pretty quickly.
3. While at dinner, ask if he’d like to have dessert at home…in the bedroom.
Both of you can imagine and get in the zone while having your meal and heading home. The excitement goes a long way when you both are heading to the bedroom ready to enjoy each other.
4. Send a text message: “honey, I’d love to have you this evening…all of you ;)”
Giving him a heads up at work gives him that nudge that you’d like him to mentally prepared when he gets home.
5. Leave him a note on the counter when he gets home, “waiting for you in the bedroom…naked”.
This one requires no talking and still gives you both a thrill. It’ll take a little guts to stay there naked on the bed, but feel free to pass the time with a magazine or another blog post to give you the mental fortitude to stay put. And remember, he’ll love it!
6. After dinner, say “Shall we move this party into the bedroom?”
This easily communicates your intentions in a fun way.
7. Leave a note on the counter for him when he get’s home from work, “Feel free to drop your drawers on your way to the bedroom…now”.
Fun and frisky lets him know what’s going to happen. Turn on some music to help both of you feel comfortable when he comes in expectantly.
8. Just before hanging up from a normal phone call, say “I love you and would love to have you tonight…keep that in mind, honey.”
You’ve already set the stage so you both can be energized by what’s to come.
9. Let him know you’re going to put the kids to bed, but “I’d love to make love once I get back.”
He can go wash up or whatever would make him feel comfortable so there will be no interruption once you’re ready.
10. Just before you get in the shower, let your husband know, “I was thinking we could make love once I get all fresh”.
This is nice because it preps both of you for the experience but also provides exciting anticipation for both of you (breaking through any discomfort) before getting out.
I’m hoping these ideas will spur you on to many more ideas to get you past the fear or potential awkwardness that may be keeping you from amazing experiences. Push through and get you into the amazing experience with your husband!
Check out this blog post titled “Move Past Low Libido To A Great Sex Life” to gain a great foundational mindset to engage in the experience.