Podcast: Play in new window | Download
I really do mean this title.
I keep seeing miracles, but when people don’t recognize God’s working in their lives… it may not continue.
It seems that sometimes people can get so fixed in a mindset of misery that when God does a miracle, they can think it was just a fluke and go back to their same ways of thinking.
The problem with that is when your wife does something out of the ordinary and you don’t thank God for it and have a grateful heart about it, she thinks it didn’t matter to you and doesn’t do that, or anything more, again.
Or, if your husband finally does some movement in the direction you’ve desperately prayed for him to go, but you don’t believe it’s really real, he decides it doesn’t really matter to you so he decides he won’t do that (very vulnerable) thing again.
We have to recognize God’s miracle, let go of the past, trust His hand in our lives and live like He has done the work.
Ten lepers were healed. Jesus didn’t call it faith that they were healed.
He called it faith when the one leper came back and praised God for the healing.
I don’t think it was that they weren’t grateful. I think they doubted the miracle. Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe it would have happened anyway. Maybe it won’t last.
And the problem is, from the story, Jesus only said, “Your faith has made you well,” to the one who praised God for the miracle.
Sadly, I don’t know if those other 9 got to keep their miracle…
I encourage you to recognize God’s hand in your life. Call it a miracle. Praise God for it and witness Him continuing to work in your life.
Blessings,
Belah
PS – If you need immediate help in your marriage, sign up for a Clarity Call where a Clarity Advisor (trained by me and a graduate from DYM programs themselves) will help discern if we can help and what the right next step would be! delightyourmarriage.com/cc
transcript
0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about delight your marriage. Hi, there, it’s belah I’m so grateful you’re here. I like pretending that you just entered my house, and I just opened my arms. That’s it. Yeah. And I gave you a big hug and said, I’m grateful you’re here. But you know, COVID, we can’t always do that much less, wherever you are in the world listening, I can’t necessarily invite you to my house. So this will have to do. But thank you so much for being here. Whatever you’re going through, I just trust that God is going to encourage you in this conversation, because I think we need that encouragement, there are times that Paul literally goes far out of his way to a very different city, even in threat of being killed for the very purpose of encouraging the body. So keep in mind, that encouragement is really important. And so I hope that this is what you get from this conversation. So before I dive into what we’re going to talk about with miracles, and God’s transformations, and these sorts of things, I want you to know that if you need help, we want to help you, if you need immediate help, we can do that. So go to delight your marriage.com/cc if you’re a wife, you will click on that specific link, and you’ll get hooked up to an incredible clarity advisor. And if you’re a husband, same deal for you. And both of these clarity advisors have gone through the programs themselves, and by God’s grace have been transformed and as have their marriages. So I am excited for you. And that opportunity. It’s a free clarity call, it’s worth $300. And if we don’t think you’re the right fit after viewing the application, then we’ll we’ll see what we can do to get you in a place that will be able to help you. But if we feel like we can help you. Oh my gosh, this is exciting stuff. So anyway, delight your marriage.com/cc for that clarity call. Alrighty, let’s go ahead and dive in.
2:36
So if you have been around dy M land for a little while to let your marriage land, if you will, you know that we pretty recently launched the fall class of the masculine you’ve reclaimed program. And my goodness, just in, I think we’re on our third week, God has done incredible things like almost falling out of my chair, incredible things. So I don’t have I haven’t asked for their permission to share any of those things. But here in coming months, we’ll see if we’ll have some of those guys share their testimonies, because you’ll you’ll hear them and it is. It’s just an incredible, absolutely incredible so.
3:22
But with that in mind, this happens a lot is when God gives you some miracle, whether it’s in your marriage, or whether it’s anywhere else in your life,
3:36
it’s so easy to accept the miracle. possibly explain it in your head that oh, this happened because it was going to happen anyway. Even though maybe you fasted and prayed for that thing for days, months, years. And then it happens and you’re like, Oh, that would have happened because lalalalala it’s like, wait, what? It what? I’ve definitely made this mistake. So that’s why I feel very comfortable talking about it. But when God does a miracle in your life, you need to recognize it as a miracle. You need to go to God and thank him for it. And recognize that he’s the one that allowed the miracle to happen. He’s the one whether he used, let’s say medicine, whether he used surgery, whether he used whatever it may have been if it was a physical healing of any kind. God gets the glory for that. Whether it was a marital transformation, a transformation in your wife’s heart, a transformation, your husband’s heart, a change in your kids dispositions, whatever it may have been a job raise of this or that When we say Oh, that would adjust blah, blah, blah. That’s, that’s refusing to give God glory for what he’s do. Here he is active in your life. And you’re ignoring it. And so when I get to witness huge, crazy miracles in these men’s lives, and women’s lives to actually it’s. And unfortunately, it’s so easy for the enemy to slip in there and say, Well, this is temporary, or this was random, or this was this or this was that. And it’s up to us as believers to say, no, no, no, thank you. This was God. And I trust him for it. And just like when Jesus walked the earth, when he opened blind eyes, if that blind person had gone to sleep, and been like, but what if I’m blind in the morning, this wasn’t permanent, I don’t know, if Jesus really heals like, we would have been like, Oh, don’t be ridiculous, he just healed you go to sleep, you’ll be fine. He just heals you. So it’s the same kind of thing. You have to discipline your heart to not be fearful that this is a temporary miracle. There are so many things that you are not fearful of that you could be, for example, you’re not fearful of walking down the street and an air conditioner falling on your head. There have been times that has come to mind for me, and I have chosen to have faith that that will not happen. But there are things that I’m because I live in New York City, and there’s apartment buildings. That’s why That’s why that’s relevant. If you live in rural, wherever, maybe that has never come to mind. Anyway. But there are lots of things that happen every single day, maybe you drive down the highway and you’re in your you, you resist any temptation of fear that something bad will happen in all sorts of areas of your life. So in the same way, you have to resist a temptation to fear that this miracle was temporary. And you have to resist the temptation to not glorify God for the miracle. And my hunch is that the reason people do this is almost to give God an out of like, but what if this is temporary? And how do I explain it to my friends after I just sang a song for them about how amazing my miracle was, and then it didn’t work out or it was temporary, like, it almost feels like, you have to make up for God’s whatever, like you have to defend God’s reputation. And I don’t think that’s on you. See, if you really believe the God of the universe, you don’t have to make up for his choices. He gets to he gets to do what he chooses to do. And if he did a miracle in your life, he gets credit. You get to glorify Him, you get to be obedient, that’s very scripturally accurate to go and glorify God for His, his work in your life.
8:34
And whatever happens next is on God, you’ll still glorify Him in that Paul even talks about in Philippians when he’s literally in chains. He said, I have experienced the best and I’ve experienced the worst and I have learned to be content in both so no matter right now, you’re on the top of the world because God’s miracle Great. Praise God for it. And if and if you become a based at the bottom of the whatever, praise God for it. You have a mansion in in heaven that he is preparing for you, you have an assignment there, I don’t even know what heaven’s gonna be like, but I am pretty giddy to get up there and enjoy whatever his plan is, because apparently, it’s a lot better than here. Um so no matter what you get to glorify God. But let me tell you how important it is in your marriage to acknowledge and recognize that God has done a work in it. Because if you see, let me just give you an example. If you see your wife change in a dramatic way and I empathize with you. I understand that if you’ve been suffering for years for example or decades, it’s easy to say, Oh, well, that was just a fluke, so that you don’t get your hopes up. So that you’re not disappointed later. But the problem with that approach is it undermines the potential for it to continue. Because here’s what happens. You probably do this unconsciously, but she feels it. So let’s say she’s never initiated in your whole marriage. And then God did a miracle in her heart in you, and she was attracted to the degree that she initiated. Now, inside, you are jumping up and down, you’re excited, you’re thrilled, but maybe she’ll never do that again. And so you stick to that fearful thought that the enemy has placed. You’ve agreed with that thought. And so you don’t respond with joy and cheer and gratefulness and happiness and complements, you don’t respond with those things. And so what happens for your wife? Your wife decides, oh, well, that didn’t matter to him. Anyway, nevermind, I won’t do that again. Can you believe it? Because of you, you not agreeing that God just did a miracle, and you’re jumping around and rejoicing and telling your wife all the good things, and thank you, it’s so amazing. You’re the most amazing wife, I can’t believe I get to have you how lucky I am. Because you’re not responding that way. Which is the way you should be responding because God just did an incredible miracle. Then she’s like, well forget it, he’ll never be satisfied, I won’t do that again. Does that make sense? So you have to agree with God’s miracle for your marriage to get healed, this is on you. It’s not on her. You have got to forgive the past, you have got to let it go. You have got to give her space and grace to change. If you do not let go of the sin of the rejection that she has had for many, many years, possibly. Then she has no space to change and become a different woman. That’s on you. And so the flip side is the same way, dear wife, if your husband has done the progress to apologize for something, oh my gosh, oh, that’s hard to do for men is to apologize. It’s so important, dear men listening, but for women understand, that’s hard. That’s hard to do. And so for you to appreciate it. Say, man, thank you, honey, that means so much to me that you would say that. I do forgive you for those things. Thank you for apologizing. That was painful in the past, but I forgive you.
13:22
And I want to move forward. And so no, that’s not easy to do say those things to respond to your husband, and let it go in the past of the ways he treated you poorly. Or let’s say he doesn’t apologize. Let’s say he just changes. And you see these little sparkles of difference in him. Now is your opportunity to thank him, to compliment him to appreciate and to trust that God is moving in his heart. That is your opportunity now, because in the same way, if you want your husband to change, you have got to see him as different. You cannot see him as that same miserable mean jerk of a man. You just can’t. You can’t. You’ve got to give him the space to change by letting it go in your heart, letting God forgive through you asking God for the grace to forgive. Not seven times 70 times seven is what Jesus says 70 times seven. And if you count it up, have you done that? Have you forgiven 70 times seven you don’t have to count it up. Assume you haven’t and forgive him and move forward. You know if we can’t forgive the highest priority human in our lives what what she answers there that we forgive anyone else wholeheartedly. And maybe it’s easy to forgive, in fact that it is, it’s easy to forgive people who don’t mean very much to you. But the ones that are closest to you, the ones that what they say and do hurts the most. That is the hardest to forgive. But God says, If you do not forgive others, I will not forgive you. And let me tell you something, I need Jesus to forgive me. I can’t do this. My righteousness is filthy rags. I can’t do this by myself. I need Jesus to forgive me. So I had better get on the floor and ask God to help me Forgive my husband, because it is serious business. And when I say get on the floor, like get on my knees praying. Yeah, fall down before Jesus and asked him to help me to forgive and let go and witness God transform my husband in front of me.
16:09
That’s what I want for you. I want to share this amazing story. One of many, if you haven’t read the Gospels in a while,
16:24
just dive into the Gospels. Really get to know the man Jesus because He does miracles unapologetically, over and over again. Just get with him find out who he is. He is good. And he is powerful. And he teaches us how to be humans. And you can fall in love with him. Get in those gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Get a physical Bible. Don’t get distracted on your phone, etc, etc. Get a physical Bible and read the gospels. That is very important. Okay, so here we are. Luke 17. Starting in verse 11, on the way to Jerusalem, he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee. And as he entered a village, he was met by 10 lepers, and just, you know, lepers. Leprosy was like a big, big issue back then. I mean, no one wanted to go near lepers because it was a, it was the disease that I think was part of the skin. It was a skin disease, and then ultimately, like, they would lose parts of their body hands and things would fall off. Pretty sure that’s what it was. It was it was bad. And and so they were unclean. No one wanted to spend time with them because it was contagious. Like it was very, very scary. Okay, so. And as he entered the village, he was met by 10 lepers, who stood at a distance, and lifted up their voices saying, Jesus, Master, have mercy on us. And keep in mind, again, these are people who have been deserted by their family, by their friends, they stood at a distance because they couldn’t get close to Jesus, they couldn’t get close to the crowds. Because there’s there they were outcasts. Because everyone was scared that they were going to catch it. says, Jesus, Master, have mercy on us. And when Jesus saw them, he said to them, Go and show yourselves to the priests. And as they went, they were cleansed. Then one of them when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice, and he fell on his face at Jesus feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, we’re not 10 cleansed. Where are the nine Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner. And Jesus said to him, rise, and go your way, your faith has made you well. So a couple of things as oh my gosh, these lepers were cleanse, they were healed, they can return to their families, they can have joy for the rest of their lives with his incredible healing, but only one returned to praise God. Only one. And it makes me wonder what happened to those lepers are the men who used to have leprosy? What happened? I wonder if they didn’t trust that this truly was a miracle that this maybe was just a fluke, or they went in front of the priest. And, you know, on that day, they were healed, but maybe the next day they woke up with it again, or they thought they might wake up with it again, or any of these things and so maybe they didn’t return to Jesus because they were scared that they were going to get disappointed or wasn’t going to be permanent. Or maybe they didn’t return because they were ungrateful. I just honestly, I don’t think that they were ungrateful as much as they were wounded by years of pain of having leprosy. And so even in the moment of healing, they’re still wounded by the pain, and it’s clouding their vision of the miracle they have now experienced. You see what I mean? So, because they have come from all of these years of pain and suffering, now, with a complete utter miracle, they haven’t let go of the past, and the pain that God would have let them suffer for all these years. And so they did not fall down at his feet. They did not say thank you. But get this the last verse. Here, it says in verse 19, and he said to him, rise, and go your way, your faith has made you well. And it’s so interesting to me, because
21:09
when the actual miracle happened, when Jesus says, Go show yourselves to the priest, and when they did that they were cleansed. But it wasn’t actually the faith that was employed until the guy came back and said, thank you to God, that was when faith was employed. And Jesus said, Your faith has made you well. And I don’t know what happened to the other nine lepers. I don’t. But I wonder if their faith is not what made them well, I wonder if they didn’t, did not continue to be? Well, I don’t know. But it is a question in my heart of if we don’t go back and thank God. I don’t know if our miracle will keep on going. So you have an opportunity to let go of the past and trust that God just did a miracle. Don’t go back to to thinking the same way that you used to think, go forward to say, God, you just gave me this miracle. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Return to God to thank him. But don’t go back to your mindset and your suffering and your sadness in the past. I stumbled upon this verse yesterday. Proverbs 1515. And it says, all the days of the of the afflicted are evil. But the cheerful of heart has a continual feast. All the days of the afflicted are evil. But the cheerful of heart has a continual feast. And I love that because who says that you’re afflicted? Because you know what, there are people in some of the worst situations I could even imagine. And they don’t consider themselves afflicted. It is your choice whether you are in the afflicted camp, or in the cheerful camp, you get to decide. And you know what, it’s interesting that I said camp because for a moment, I was like, But wait, but wait a minute, there’s camps. I mean, that reminds me of connotes concentration camps. And I remember if you haven’t read Corrie 10 Boom’s story. It’s incredible. I haven’t, haven’t in a while, but one thing I remember is she actually led Bible studies in the concentration camps. And she, as a prisoner, and I remember, at one point, they were thanking God for things, and I think it was her sister, thanked God for the fleas in the camp and, and they were like, No, sister, don’t, don’t thank God for the fleas. And then it turns out the reason the guards did not come into their tent as frequently is because of the fleas. Okay, so that’s totally aside. But the point is, that if you have a cheerful heart, you can have continual feasting in your life. It’s not wild. So whatever your circumstance, don’t be the E or BE THE Tigger jumping around excited, grateful, don’t be oil, something happened great in my life, but women like just don’t. You get to choose if you’re afflicted. It’s harder to always be cheerful. That’s a that’s a fighting against but that that’s what I was just reading about William will Wilberforce and he was a huge force in ending the African slave trade. And one of his major qualities was the joy of the Lord was pursuing God’s joy. It says in the Bible, the joy of the Lord is our strength. So along your pursuit have God’s will for your life recognize joy, as a big part of it. And here God is doing miracles in your life, if you would just notice, if you would go to God and thank Him and praise Him. He’s doing it. Let go of the past, forgive, let go. Know that God is good in every circumstance. Even when Paul is in prison. He doesn’t blame his situation on God. He glorifies God, even in the midst, even in the midst. I think that’s all I had to say on this topic. Let’s go ahead and pray together. Father, I thank you that this person is joining me in prayer, Lord, that we can come before you and we can say, Lord, you are faithful, and you are good. And Lord, we have been standing on your word for things in our lives for a long time. And this person has God and they see glimmers if they just look for them.
26:06
I pray God for grace for them to see those glimmers appreciate those glimmers go to you with the grace to honor you for the glimmers for the miracles for the major miracles, that they may be caught in the past and missing, witnessing You and thanking you for them. Lord, give them grace to see that you are alive and active in their life. Give them the grace to repent of the mindsets of self pity. Give them the grace to repent of that, Lord, give them the grace. Whatever their circumstance, Lord, we can always see someone who’s who has it worse always. And we can thank you that you have blessed us with such goodness in our life. And we can also pray for that person that you would heal and you would restore and you would give grace to them. Help these men and women that you have called that you have done, work in their lives, help them recognize it was you and you get the glory for it all. In Jesus name. We love what you’re doing. We love you, we worship you and honor you. Amen. Okay, my friend, thank you so much for joining me. If you are looking for help right away, go to delight your marriage.com/cc. And if specially if you’ve already seen a glimmer of God work in your marriage, this may be the time to really get some support around it. Because in the very early stages is often where you need the most support and help and guidance. So yeah, go and talk to one of these awesome clarity call advisors and, and we’ll get you on board. God bless you love you. And I’ll talk to you next week.