320-How I Discern God's Will - Your 2022 Goals - Delight Your Marriage

Do you have your goals for 2022?

Do you have your goals for Q1 of 2022?

I don’t just mean business/work goals. I mean goals that help align your life with God’s will.

Do you have a system for discerning God’s will?

Well, in this episode I give you my system for discerning God’s will and writing goals accordingly.

It’s thorough, comprehensive, “begins with the end in mind”, and keeps an eye to meeting Jesus central.

Too often people fail to consider the big picture so the small picture seems like it doesn’t matter. Well, I want to give you a serious kick in the motivation and “you can do it!” through this episode.

Because — through Christ — you following God’s will, can be super practical and doable! Here’s my system.

The beginning of January is when everyone is excited about goals, so I suggest you use that momentum to set your own goals for the next 3 months (Not year, 3 months — you’ll hear why).

Now is the best time to discern and commit to those goals.

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Also, if marriage is on that list…we can help!

Go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc to schedule a free Clarity Call (similar to a consultation) where a Clarity Advisor speaks with you about your situation and evaluates how we can help.

Our 3-month programs cost about what you would pay a marriage therapist if you did weekly sessions for 3 months. We have seen couple after couple experiencing huge benefits in their marriages! (Have you checked out our amazing testimonials????)

Ever considered how much that you paid to get married? (Average cost of a wedding in the US is $28,000 nowadays!) Maybe yours was far less than that, but may I ask how much have you invested since then…to make it a lifelong, intimate & happy marriage? Which touches EVERY area of your life?

2022 may be the year to get help on that vow you made however many years ago!

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No matter what your goals are in 2022…I want you to be intentional about discerning and setting them.

From all of us at DYM — We love you and love being a part of your lives in the last year and are so grateful we get to be a part in 2022!!!

Listen in to today’s podcast: 320-How I Discern God’s Will — Your 2022 Goals

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Blessings,

Belah

PS – A recent wife graduate wrote, “I have so enjoyed working with Belah. She has opened my mind and eyes to so many needs and desires of my husband that I honestly was ignorant of.

I am so grateful for the way we have grown closer in our relationship both sexually and emotionally.

Even though we are in a busy, tiring stage of life with 4 kids – 5 and under, I still find myself craving intimate sex and alone time with my husband.”

transcription

0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. Hi, there, this is Bella, thank you for joining me, my goodness, Happy New Year 2022. I am excited to talk about goals, this episode. And I’m going to relate it to your marriage. So don’t worry, it is related to intimacy and marriage. But it also is, you know, that’s the thing I love about intimacy and marriage is it touches all the other areas of your life. And so if that thing’s broken, it’s touching every area of your life. If it’s fixed, it’s touching every area of your life. And so I have lived on both sides of that. And I know that by God’s grace, it’s a heck of a lot better for every area of your life if you have this thing fixed. So I want to invite you to be prayerful about your goals this year, I’m going to give you some framework on how you’re thinking about them, and how I think about them. And when I look at Jesus in on that judgment day, I look into his beautiful face. And he has that curious expression on what I did with this life He died to give me He humbled Himself that was that we celebrated on Christmas. As he lived the perfect life. He he, he did it all. And then he went to the cross for me. What did I do? You know, that’s, I want him to be proud of me. At that moment. That’s my goal. That’s my real goal. So how does that all drill down into your daily and your goals for this year 2022. So that’s what I want to encourage you about, I consider January the gold month. So you are by no means behind. You just finished Christmas. And now Now you’re in the zone of okay, let’s prep for the rest of this year. So before we dive into this conversation, if you already know that marriage is your top goal, don’t delay, get on a call with our clarity advisors. You can go to delight your marriage.com/cc Our website was you know down for a few days. And by God’s grace, it is up and ready. And some of you have gone there over the last few days. It’s been a wonderful test in patience and just trust and relaxing into God’s kindness of the wonderful tech people who do things I don’t understand. And they fix the website. Yes. So anyway, delete your marriage.com/cc if there’s any other website resource you’ve been trying to get to the last few days. That’s why it was down. That’s also why this episode is late getting to you. But I think was better because I decided to re record the episode to make it better for you. So I am pumped, I hope you’re pumped to listen to today’s episode, let’s dive in. So I don’t like repeating myself. But I also sometimes forget that I repeated myself. So those two things combined means you might have heard me say these things before. But I will say that usually when I like listening to somebody, if I think that their their thoughts are impactful in a good way to me, then I don’t mind them repeating themselves, because usually I’ll hear it in a little bit of a different way. And I’ll strike me a little differently. And it’ll encourage me or it’ll remind me of things that I had forgotten. So anyway, so just assume that, you know, there’s going to be some fresh insights, I believe, but also some things that if you’ve listened to all of the episodes, there might be some, some links in there that you have already heard, but I think I think it’s going to be very valuable. These are my favorite episodes to do because in fact when I do my coaching I love these kinds of questions, because it’s really getting at the root of our life and the way we live on a daily basis before Jesus and wanting to make him proud of us. That’s that’s really the the top priority goal right that’s having the first commandment in first place of our life. The first commandment being Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul with all your mind and with all your strength.

4:58
And so I think it’s always helpful I think Stephen Covey coined the phrase begin with the end in mind. So think about that day when you are standing for Jesus, what what do you want it to look like? What, what do you want it to be about. And something about me that you may or may not know is that one of my highest strengths. In Strengths Finder, I talk about that test a lot. So if you’re not familiar with Strengths Finder, I encourage you to look it up. Because it’s basically a list one to 34 of your strengths. If you get the full test, I think it’s like $50. And I encourage you to get the full test, and it gives you the top five, and then if you pay the full amount, it gives you all of them. And so I think number six for me is competition. And then it also shows me some of my major weaknesses. And so that was really insightful, like, okay, these are just things I’ll always have a blind spot on. So it’s helpful to think about this, as this is probably a blind spot I’m missing here. Anyway, competition is really important to me, and really helpful. And if you’re anything like me, which may be why you’re listening to this episode, you have to watch that it can be a great strength. But it also can really take you to the wrong zone. So for me, I have to be really careful with the groups of people I align myself with, because I just know that pretty much once I get in a group, I’m ready to race, I’m like, Okay, let’s get started. And I have to be really intentional about the rules for success for myself, and in the group of people. So what are my What does? What does success mean to me, you know, what does the finish line look like, which is why I always am encouraging you to renew your mind with the Bible, because you need the measure of success to be correct. We unfortunately, in this world, we’re living in this capitalistic society where success means the amount of money you have, and the amount of things you have. And that’s really the main point, even Christian budgeting resources they fall prey into that know budgeting is important. But it can not go above your relationship with Jesus. And it also should not be above your relationship with your spouse, I truly believe that. I mean, so often I’ll hear like, well, we’ve always been on the same page with budgeting. And it’s like, but listen, you’re doing some awful things in in secrets, which is totally destroying all the trust you have in your marriage. So why does it matter that you’re totally on the same plate, you know, trust with money, if you’re totally untrustworthy in these other more important areas, like there’s, you know, lack of faithfulness, and in terms of pornography, or lack of faithfulness in in more physical ways, or just these other things. I’m just like, wait a second, what, where are your priorities? Your priorities are in your money. And that that’s just wrong. So anyway, coming back to, you need to get clear on what are your standards for success? Don’t let society decide those for you. Let the Bible clarify and clarify and clarify what is your standard of success. So that’s kind of an aside, but hopefully that’s informing the way you look at your goals. So yes, there’s some just wisdom things that you want to put in place as goals, but I want to just get big, big picture for you. So we’re going to stand before Jesus one day, and it’s, you know, we’re going to have to give an account, it says, Even the words that we speak, we’re going to have to give an account for it, we’re going to have to give an account. So even though the blood of Jesus forgives us of all of our sins, thank God, it still matters what we do. I don’t know, I don’t know how it’s gonna shake out exactly. One thing that really helps to motivate me is that I think about eternity, as we have new assignments up there, up there, wherever it ends up. Wherever we end up, we have new assignments, and I like that thought of like, okay, so I’m working for something, you know, my next gig. And so, if I, you know, focus on the last is first in the kingdom of heaven, where if I focus on serving and loving well, and having, you know, the fruits of the Spirit, and being generous and taking care of the widows and the orphans, like just what it talks about, which I’m learning, I’m growing in that I want that to be my measure of success, but if we can think about those things, that’s what God cares about. And

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in the next life, we’re going to be like, Oh my gosh, I had no idea that actually mattered quite so much. And the nice thing is, I think we’re all going to be so surprised. We’re going to be like, wait a second that person is that, you know, one of the greatest, are you serious because I’ve never heard of them, or I heard of them. And they were, you know, absolutely nothing on this side of attorney, but over there, they’re like, you know, over 1000 cities, or however it’s going to shake out, it’s going to be cool. But begin with the end in mind, begin with the end in mind begin with this idea of what is God looking for. And so here’s what I do is I put together and I asked my clients to put together a life vision. And that document is really just asking you some important questions based on the first commandment of loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. And so it’s just a blank document where, you know, for me, it’s been helpful that you know, what are the three words that I basically want on my tombstone. And those words are wisdom, passion, and love. It’s just, just something that’s resonated me since I was in college. And I just love those three words, wisdom, passion, love, I really resonate with them. So you know, if that matter if that’s a motivating framework for you, then maybe pick out three words that you just want your life to embody. The second one is, is this life vision. So So okay, so that’s at the top. And then the next piece of my life vision document, basically says, When I stand before my beloved, at the end of the age, I want to confidently look at my Savior and say, I spent my life on what I searched out and discovered you desired, I aim to walk worthy of your calling. I loved mercy, acted justly and walked humbly with you. I know you, and I love you. But it is so good to see you, my sweet friend. So that’s what I want to say to Jesus. Okay, so the next chunk is love God with all her heart, soul, mind and strength. So that’s kind of the category and I divided it into a couple sections. One was knowing God than wisdom than prayer and worship and timing. So, basically, under that category, I just had these other and I, I wrote about a sentence or two for each of those knowing God so developed friendship knew his voice spent daily time with him consistently recognized, he is the measure of all things. He is her portion and her exceedingly great reward. The next one wisdom searched out ideas, scriptures and thoughts and tested them according to his Word and wise counsel. Third one prayer sought to be a person of prayer, waited on God supported others through prayer spent time at his feet, transfixed by his heart worship, timing, okay, so I’ll, I’m not going to read all of them. But okay, so then the next thing so basically what we’ve got there is the first commandment. And so now the second commandment of love your neighbor as yourself, I kind of divide into three categories. First, one loved mercy. And then I have the certain categories under there. So first one marriage. She saw him as her first assignment, pursue to love her husband with passion, energy, sincerity, faithfulness, a servant Leichhardt quick to extend grace and humbly led, maintained a vision of her husband meeting Jesus encouraged him in who God wanted him to be. Loved him the way he received love, and sought always to attract him towards Jesus. Okay, so the next one is mother saw her kids as her second assignment, engaged in motherhood as a practice of growth and dependency and God, a student of God centered motherhood, saw how her daily action shaped their character prayed with sincerity everyday for her kids loved her kids so they would be attracted to Jesus because of her genuine and lived out love for them. Number three, Coach pursued to hone her God given strengths, learn and teach to be best empower others towards Jesus and His will for their lives. Number four, dy M aligned and realigned and pursued to elucidate God’s truth in ways to draw people towards him and his will.

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And then I have extended family close loved ones talk about that. And then people in general have that. Okay, so the next one acted justly. I talk about delight your marriage I talk about prosperous talk about fruitfulness and generous and apologized. That’s kind of my those categories. And then the final one is walked humbly. So intentional growth, mentored redeemed time, inner dialogue and character. And then the final piece is I commit to the above and seek ultimately to glorify the one who breathed me into being. Thank you God, I asked for the grace and power to accomplish all that you have purposed. Give me the grace to follow you, where you lead this year in every area of my life by your grace. Okay, so this is something that I look at, at least on a yearly basis, often quarterly as well, I would say usually quarterly. Anyway, this life vision document is super, super helpful, because I want to tweak it on a consistent I want. I want as I discover, who God wants me to be, because I’m always growing, I’m always learning in every season of my life. So hopefully, this life vision God is helping me to serve and what matters more, what matters more, what matters more. And so what I’m saying all this, because I’m hoping that inspires you to get one of these things written yourself, get your life vision, put it print it out, have it in front of you review it on a consistent basis. So this life vision is key. So that’s kind of the end of your life. The second thing that I encourage is doing a prioritize your life correctly, spreadsheet, and it kind of helps you to see where you are right now. And it helps you to figure out exactly where you’re spending your time, and energy and effort right now. So you basically list out all your commitments, and then you score every commitment. You know, you write out all the time that you’re spending, so you should have 168 hours by the end of writing it all out. And then you score each commitment based on your personal fulfillment. So zero to 10. The next one is the values is it aligned with your values zero to 10? And then the final one is the eternal value score zero to 10. So a turtle value score, you can see is it is it aligned with this life vision. And so by the end of it, you should have a score for every commitment every place in your life that you spend time out of 30, right, because you’ve got the zero to 10, for your personal fulfilment, zero to 10, you’re aligned with your values and zero to 10, your eternal value score. So you’re basically giving yourself the grade before you ever get to judgment day. How are you spending your life right now. And again, that you’re giving yourself the rules to win. Like you’re you’re assessing yourself, why not use all the amazing tools that we have at our fingertips right now to assess ourselves and put ourselves in the driver’s seat of, of being successful in this in what we say is success for our lives. So that’s just an assessment of where we are right now. So hopefully, that assessment helps us to decide where we need to change. Because if we read this, like vision, and we see the gaps in what we’re doing in our life right now, hopefully that helps us to see where we need to go. So after this life vision, and the assessment, the other thing I do before setting goals for the next quarter is I like to reflect so especially, I reflect every quarter but I also reflect on the year. So on the year I spent time going through my calendar, and going through

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basically just looking at every month and just looking at where I spent my time in a calendar way and it helps to like jog my memory on what I was doing around this time that year, or this event or that meeting with that person or oh gosh, what was that? And just to remember, where did I even spend my time? It was a whole year. I mean, that was a long? A lot of time. That was many, many, many hours. You know, that’s that was 8736 hours. In fact, where did I spend those and and so I like to look at my calendar to see where where I spent them. And and as I go through that I journal out some really great accomplishments or some really important events. And then as I’m going through, I write out the lessons I learned. Because the thing is, I don’t think experience is really what teaches us the most. I think it’s actually processed experience. I think it’s experience that we have digested and processed and reflected on because if it’s just plain old Hey, I lived through that. And that’s it. I mean, we have Too many examples of people who are older than us, all of you could say this, you, you, I’m sure know somebody who’s older than you that is not wiser than you. And so in a particular area or many areas, and so it’s it’s not just experience, it’s, it’s slurping out the lessons that God wants us to gain if we will just look for them. Like I think about Proverbs, it’s always, you know, wisdom is crying out in the street, who will listen to me. I’m just like, I’m gonna raise my hand me all listen, I promise I’m not, I’m not going to, I’m not going to waste my suffering and the difficulties that I’ve lived, and I’m going to learn so that I can help somebody else. And that I won’t necessarily have to do that, again. I’ll have a new lesson to learn, but hopefully not, you know, I just don’t want to be stagnant, and I don’t want to waste the opportunity to grow and the opportunity to help others and, and just and live this life. Well, again, like, I want my scorecard based on what God thinks is important, not not based on myself. So it just so you know, business wise, I have major financial goals. But we have important goals that that money moves towards. So for example, employing people so that it can spread, or the sending more in international economic development organizations donating more I mean, these are the kinds of goals that finances can lend to. So that’s why certainly, it’s important to have financial goals. And I do, and they’re big ones, but so I don’t want you to think those aren’t important goals. I think they are. But we’ve got to make sure that it’s bending its need to what’s the vision, so one of my major life vision goals is generosity, I think God has given me grace and gifts to make a lot of money to give a lot of money. And it’s my opportunity to be very disciplined in that and make sure that I’m not even though I’m, I’m learning from people who make a lot of money, I don’t want their values to rub off on me. Which is why like I said, from the beginning, I have to be very careful on the company I keep. And when I am around them, even though I want to, you know, be the winner. No matter what I’m, I always like to play to win, whether that’s a good or bad thing. I have to realize, wait a second. What, what game Am I playing? They’re playing a different game than I am. Maybe it looks the same, but my values are different, or my end goal is different. You know, my venture more doesn’t have a bunch of boats on it. If you don’t understand that, it’s totally fine if you’re not into vision boards, but no, my vision board is very different than then material possessions. But anyway. Yeah, so So, moving in. Again, I’m talking about reflecting on the previous year, and just, you know, writing out the ways that I think God has grown me what he’s taught me, even if it was really hard lessons, like dang it, I should have done this. But hey, you know what, I learned that and it just, it’s just a process, like, I want to go again, I want to slurp every good lesson that God wants out of every

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every experience I want to grow here, I’m not I’m not interested in stagnating, I’m not interested in wasting time. That that’s in my best days, that’s I’m all in and focused, etc. Now, just to you know, there are times and days and sometimes a string of days that are hard. And that’s, that’s always a lesson that’s always a growth opportunity. There’s always an opportunity to say, Okay, what happened there? What is the lemme one of my clients actually talked about how, you know, when when there’s a crash, or there’s a, an error in, in the military, they have to go through this analysis of like, okay, what happened? Why did we get here? And so that, I encourage you, like, if you are kind of crashing and burning in certain areas of your life, like, how did you get there? And so, you know, that’s really important when I, you know, really flub it up on a parenting or a marriage level. Like, what happened? Where did we get there? Why did I get triggered or what, honestly, am I having enough sleep? Is my diet going? Well, you know, am I affected in these ways, especially If you’re in the camp of a highly sensitive person, if you’re not familiar with that, or not sure, if you are not, you know, it’s kind of like all your sensitivities are turned up on high volume. For me, absolutely, that was very insightful when I finally found that out. But as a highly sensitive person, I am very sensitive to what I eat, and whether or not I’m sleeping well, and, you know, my just normal general habits. And if you’re in that camp, also, like, keep it in mind,

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those things are important. So I reflect on the last year. So around the end of each year, that’s, that’s my,

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my discipline. And then the next thing is to look to discern, you know, the gaps in where I need to grow. And then I, I look to get just three major focuses. So again, I’m, I’m a learner and grower, I’m sure you are, too. That’s why you’re here. So I have a ton of different interests. And I’m just like, Okay, I want to learn about this, and this and this. And if I let myself, I could just do all sorts of research. And I would listen to a million different topics of books. And but the problem is, I would make an inch in a million different directions of progress and into progress, rather than master a certain area of life, master it and kind of put it on the shelf and say, Okay, that’s done. Let me focus on the next one. And so that’s what I establish every quarter is three focuses of mastery. And then I put it in a very, very easy to look at place in my visual every day. So for my last quarter, I had it. I painted it on a canvas, and I put it so I could see it every single day, like what is my highest, what are my highest priority, focuses this quarter. And I pray through that, like this whole, a very logical, structured way of assessing my life. It’s got to be tempered with prayer, it’s got to be within a context of knowing Jesus in a relationship, and rest and rejuvenation. And if you’re new to dy M, you may not know like, I am not an all work, no play kind of person. I am, you work hard, you stay focused, but you rest. I’m like that sprinter in the Olympics, like I am going to go hard. When the when the, I don’t know the whistle blows or whatever. And I have to run really, really fast. But then I’m going to rest I’m going to rejuvenate. And so if you are cadence is Saturdays, we rest that’s our rest day. Sabbath. I learned that through pizzas, arrows, resources, but also through. I really, really love a book that I only read this last year, even though a lot of the things he talks about, we’ve been practicing as a family for a long time. But it’s the ruthless elimination of hurry. It’s fantastic book. But anyway, so we had reps, we have cadence of rests or Saturdays. And then Wednesdays are my rejuvenation days. So the dy M work is intensive, it’s hard. It’s emotional, I have to have full focus on the humans that are in front of me. So I need to rest I need time with Jesus, I need him to fill me up. And so if I don’t have time with him, then how in the world can I figure out what he cares about? So it’s time in the Word time relaxing with him time praying time listening, which is hard, but that’s important. It’s got to be a two way relationship. And so that’s how I work at discerning the three focuses of mastery. So and the thing is, I really love what Joyce Meyer talks about. She said something I heard one time that was like, it’s way easier to direct a moving boat. So I think about like a sailboat or like you can’t, you can’t turn a boat that’s not moving. You got to be moving and so, okay, so you’re not going to get perfect. At first you’re just gonna find three that you’re basically like, Okay, I feel convicted about this and this and this, alright, this is going to be my focus. And you know what, God can tweak that. What I try to do is keep the focus strong for the quarter, and then ask God to help show me what’s the next quarter focuses? Because that’s, that’s the thing, but I might, it might take me two or three weeks. Coming into the quarter to discern what I think that quarter is supposed to be about. But really what I base it on is really a feeling of peace, like, yeah, that feels so aligned, that feels like this season. And you have to make sure it’s relevant to what your family’s going through. And what your, again, this life vision document what’s important. And so a lot of times, they’ll sometimes they’ll be, you know, focuses that I have mastered in previous seasons, but got to get back on that focus again. So, for example, this quarter, one of my focuses is

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I think it’s life giving habits. So there’s a couple of habits that I have gotten really good at in the past. So I don’t need it to just be a focus. Like, in the past, I’ve had a habit of like, my eating, you know, my health in terms of what I eat. And I don’t need that to be my entire focus. But I do want to just get back on. Like making sure that every day I’m ticking the box of this, this part of my life is is fine. Because I, I have that as a pretty strong habit, I just want to make sure it doesn’t fall off. And there’s another one of like, Spanish was one of my biggest focuses last quarter, and I don’t want that to be my biggest focus this corner. But it is a, you know, a short half hour lesson every day, as one of my habits. So so um, that one’s kind of combining a few things because I’ve already had them as my focuses. So another one is working out, right, that’s always been a part of my life. But I want I want to make sure that three times a week that’s still in my focus on other one screen free entertainment, that’s also been a part of my life for a long time. But I think it needs a little more focus. So again, those are just habits, life, thriving habits, life giving habits. And so another kind of cool thing that we’re doing here for the second half of the year is homeschooling. So that’s a, that’s a quarter one focus of mine, which is very cool. That’s a brand new brand new thing that I’m learning a ton about, and I’m excited about. And so that thing, and then my third quarter, focus is around financial contentment, responsibility, and generosity. So it’s really, you know, God has been really helping me hone this over many years, but I want there’s a great book called your money or your life, and it really talks about your, your time, like, we trade time for money. And then we go and buy something with that money, but it actually represents our time. And so there’s just some really good truth, I think, in that, that I want to do her system and I want to it just takes a lot of effort to kind of do her system of, of how she implements that. But, but yeah, and I, you know, again, my, one of my biggest goals in life that I think God has gifted me with is generosity. And I want to make sure that I’ve got the little tiny habits in place. So that that’s actually reality, and can be more. Because, you know, I’m such a big, visionary picture person, that, you know, the little details are not easy for me. So that’s got to be really a focus of mastery. So then I can kind of move on and the systems are in place. And it’s, you know, my focus doesn’t have to be there. So anyway, those are my quarter focuses this quarter. So I always love that I get to share some of those vulnerable things with you. And so you can think about it for yourself. And also now I’ve got many, many, many accountability partners all around the world. And here you are, and thank you for that accountability. Okay, so now I’ve got my focuses for the quarter. And what that does is just helped me so when I’m scrolling through my Library app to be like, Okay, I’m about to go on a walk, what do I want to listen to? I can just search one of those topics. And a lot of times you’ll see these these topics that have nothing to do with my dy M work. I’ve got other goals specifically for dy M. But these are goals that I think are important to God and

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totally outside of dBm delight your marriage. So um, so yeah, so you know, one thing hopefully you heard in my life vision statement is how I treat my husband Is he is my first assignment. I want to love Him with passion with energy sincerity faithfulness servant Leichhardt quick to extend grace and humbled lead lead. But the thing is, those have been my focuses in the past and I’m I’ve mastered that, like I have those things there systematized like it’s, it’s in my life, I don’t have to strive for those anymore. So that’s not my quarterly focus, I just have three focuses that I need to master, and then move on. And so that’s something I would encourage, like, if you don’t have systems in place that make God your first priority, marriage, your first human assignment. And kids, your your second human assignment, like those, I think, need to really be your focuses for this quarter. Why do I do it by quarters, is because I think, as humans, we really have a limited amount of staying power. Scientifically speaking, I think this works out, I’ve read this elsewhere. But basically, it’s 90 days, like you can’t, like our attention wanes, and a lot of us really need a short, short spurts. And in a year, goal, it just doesn’t motivate us, we might be motivated to accomplish that at the very end of December. Like we might be motivated to accomplish it in January, maybe a little bit in February, but then it wanes all the way until December. And we’re like, Ah, well, I didn’t get those resolutions done. But instead, if you do, quarter by quarter goals, then you then you’re more able to accomplish them. And so after we do the quarter goals that also quarter focuses, then it’s much easier for me to figure out what are my goals for each month. And then from there each each week and each day, you know, so my habits, I have daily accountability worked out with some friends of mine, ladies who who those are apart, those are friendships I have forged, they were not they are none of them are in my geographic area. I found them through different Facebook groups I maybe five years ago established a they call it a mastermind in business circles, but basically an accountability group. And we met every single week for five years, and then I actually handed the leadership off to a member because I was tired of leading it and she ran with it. And now I’m just part of the group and it is just such a gift. And now she’s making it something that we all pay for, which is great, because it’s very, it’s it’s an incredible service, it takes a lot of work, and I’m glad I get to pay for it. So in the same way that, you know, it takes a lot of work to lead groups that are empowering. So if you’re a part of a group, or you’re considering being part of my programs, takes a lot of work to lead those things, so it makes sense that they’d be paid for, and you get to sow into those leaders that are facilitating those things. But yeah, that’s how I make sure that my weekly goals align with my quarterly goals. We we do that as a group, we empower each other. And we essentially use the framework that I kind of shared not not everything that I share just now because not everyone in the group are Christians and but some of the reflection piece and some of the quarterly goal quarterly Well, I guess they do goals, and I do the focus is so there’s some differences. But just having other humans involved in this work is really, really helpful. So for anyone who’s in my programs, please this is a green light to bring all of these resources. And I will share all of these resources, just let us know if you want the trainings on all these resources. And all of these resources can be part of your conversations and accountability for them. So that is what I would encourage you is get humans around you that are going to help you in these. My husband is not this way. He doesn’t really need his life structured the way I do, and that’s fine. He is such a different human than me. I have no interest in him doing all of this if you’re listening to my voice, it means we’re kind of similar and you like this kind of thing. And you think that this is what God wants you to be doing.

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It’s not my husband, and I love him. Oh my gosh, I am head over heels for him. Like I go for a walk in the mornings and and I remember looking this morning at our apartment window and just like hope I could see him in the window. I just, I can love this man. And because I am focused on loving him, I’m focused on the good things of him. Yes, I pray for the things that you know that God would lead him and guide him in and draw him closer to himself and all of these things, but my gosh, do I accept and love the man he is in all the ways because we, we don’t know how God is using your husband, we just don’t know or your wife. Like just because you’re your wife, or your husband doesn’t process life the same way you do, please, please don’t, don’t judge the way they do it like, so my husband lives out the verses around those who give a cup of water to the least of these, you gave it to me. Like that’s my husband’s like if, like if there was a verse that he lives on a daily, that’s, that’s his verse, like he is giving to the least of these. It’s all I mean, it’s all the time. Just one example of the amazingness of who he is. I mean, if you’ve ever listened to the podcast, where he’s on you’ll, you’ll learn from him, you’ll you’ll you’ll learn that he is he is just such a powerful servant. And we can learn so much from those around us that are in that zone. So we just don’t have to compare that we’ve got to do all this organization and all this stuff. No, that’s what I like to do. This is what I this is how I feel I can serve God. But no, I’m not interested in helping people move. He is. But I’m not interested in serving God in that way. Keep me with my spreadsheets and my life vision documents and my trainings and these other great things that God does, but you know, helping people move, I’ll let him Let him be in his strength zone in that. Anyway, I hope this has been helpful for you to pray through what God’s goals are for your year. And for your quarter. Again, I prefer you to be thinking about your quarter think about the long, long view and then the next three months. Because, you know, we can get in this place of like, Oh, that’s too far, I’m not going to worry about it. And it doesn’t inform your daily life. But basically, from those quarter goals, that’s when I get kind of my monthly and weekly, and then even daily goals. And I have that accountability where I consistently check in every week, but then also I check in every day with with one of my, maybe a couple of the ladies, it depends. And so yeah, it’s just it’s so important, the groups, the people that you surround yourself with, because they really are going to impact what you think is important, what success looks like for you. These sorts of things. And so the people that you get really close to you, you need to be careful about that. But don’t don’t say Oh, well, there’s no one around me that that thinks like this speller. So I’m just going to fold my sit on my hands and not be able to do what I think God wants me to do. It’s just crazy. No, the only reason I’m telling you that I did that with this accountability group that I forged it, I, you know, reached out to people I was, you know, the, the person that anxiously awaited people to get back to me from, you know, going on Facebook groups and posting and this and that, and messaging people and trying to bring structure. And I mean, it took years actually, there was a lot of failed masterminds. I think it was probably eight years of failed masterminds, until I finally got the structure so concrete that I had five years of a good accountability group. Yeah, so I’ve just had so many failed, starts at it. But anyway, like I said, I mean, that’s why I’ve got it so dialed into the groups that we have now in delight your marriage, because I’ve failed at it so long. So again, hashtag growing. Anyway, don’t be a victim to your life. If this is God’s life vision for you, and whatever it may be, when when you heard some of the things and you’re like, Yes, that’s me too. Or no, that’s not me. But I know this is me. Don’t Don’t be a victim to your life. decide, okay, well, if this is God’s life vision for me, what do I need to focus on now? So that I can walk so it can set me up for the next phase and the next phase and the next phase like, God just He can give you that? That ability, the grace and I just want you to have faith that that it can happen for you. So let’s let’s summarize.

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Be careful of who you spend your time with and be intentional about getting those people around you. Rest in the during during the goal focuses, get your end in mind your life vision together. And then really in the context of loving and knowing Jesus, of reading His word and getting the right success measurements, get your life vision today together. And then also reflect on reflect on how you’re doing right now. And then the other piece of reflection is how you did in the past. And all of that gets to inform your next season, how you have grown. So my hope and prayer is that this has been helpful to you and encouraging for you, and is going to be you know that there’s some nuggets in there that’s going to help you as you process this, January 2022. And if you’re listening to this in the future, I think there’s a lot of relevance for the season that you’re in as well. Okay, so you know, my plug is, if marriage is holding you back from where you feel God wants you to go, and you don’t feel so in love with your spouse, that you want to look at them through the window and find out if they’re home, because you just love them so much. Then why not get there, why not have marriage be something that supports all the things that God wants you to be about? Also consider your spouse as your first human assignment. And if right now, that’s not going very well, then, then that’s important, I’ll tell you. And, and we want to help you. And by God’s grace, you know, just listen to testimonials, like we help people by God’s grace, there’s a miracles all the time in our programs, and we have the tried and true systems to make that happen. So go to delight your marriage.com/cc We’ve got this incredible community of incredible people. So if you’re in our community, I just want to give you a shout out that you make me proud you make me so proud, you are pushing yourself, you’re encouraging yourself, you’re encouraging the other people in your groups you’re loving on others, and most important you are implementing the work to love your spouse, well, So bravo to you. And to you listener, if you are not, you know, part of dy M and, you know, program since but you’re part of dy M because you listen here and, and you and I are friends, because you listened to me chat with you. And we are. I’m just so grateful. I’m so grateful that you have been around hanging out with me this last year. I’m so grateful for what God is doing in so many lives around the world through this work. And if you weren’t here with me, that wouldn’t be possible. So thank you so much. And, yeah, if you want to respond back to me, at any time, you can actually leave us a review. And if you want to know how to do that, if you don’t know delight your marriage.com/itunes you can get up. But basically what you need to do is search for delight your marriage in your I phone, click on that, scroll down until you get to the stars, and click five stars and actually give me a little feedback. I would love to hear how you feel about delight your marriage. And and yeah, that’ll that would be awesome. All right. Well, God willing, this will be a very focused year for you on God’s will. And this will help you discern it. What is God’s will for the next three months of your life. Let me pray for you. Father, I ask that this person that has been so has has listened to my voice these last 4040 plus minutes, Lord, that the specific thing you wanted them to, to hear is what they would hear God if it was a reminder of something you taught them in the past, if it was a new idea, if it was just a little bit of inspiration to to elevate their thoughts, I pray God, that’s what you would do. But most of all God that this would cause them to want to walk with you more closely, father. I don’t have this all figured out. I’m learning and tripping over myself plenty. But I know that there are elements of this that I think can help this other person and I pray that it would even just inspire them or even just to pat them on the back. Like they’re on the right track. And they’re they’re doing a lot of this stuff already. And and I just asked for grace as they pursue your vision for their life and grace for them to define what is most important in their life.

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When they get to see you whether that’s very soon or whether that’s in many, many, many years. Let us not squander the time that we have. Let us stay awake and vigilant and aligned with with the way you want us to do this life. We love you. We love you. We love you and yeah Jesus, amen. Men. Okay, my dear, thank you for just just for this time together. God bless you, wishing you a wonderful day and New Year.

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Bye

320-How I Discern God’s Will — Your 2022 Goals

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