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Part 2: What she thought was just a simple surgery from a chest injury turned into a year of serving and fear and all semblance of control being taken. The threat of her husband’s death and his needing constant help shaped her in ways she didn’t expect. Julie Dibble has walked a hard road in the most difficult challenge of her marriage. But she remembers a quote “A great work requires a great and careful training”. God she believes has trained her through this. But it’s not over and she’s still fighting to be surrendered to God’s plan over her own, every day. Listen in to find inspiration and hope in the journey ahead.

What You’ll Discover:

  • The 3 greatest lessons she learned through this struggle
  • Learn how to pray, how to get started
  • I wasn’t asking God to replenish my energy
  • You do have to choose every day to love your husband

Quote:

  • A great work requires a great and careful training. – Jesus Calling

Tweetables:

  • If you don’t ask God into your marriage, things get crazy fast.
  • When I love Jesus, I am loving myself.
  • He values me. He died for me.
  • Please give me the desire and energy to be intimate with my husband.

Love,

Belah

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Transcript

0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host belah. Rose. Hello there,

0:18
and welcome. I’m glad that you’re here on the dy M Show. I’m not sure if you’ve been here before, but right now we are in the second part of a journey interview with a wonderful woman named Julie dibble. And if you haven’t heard part one yet, it’s pretty intense, we, we hear about some really serious hardship that she and her husband went through, and are still going through in terms of his health. And we’re actually in the part where she’s letting us know where they are today, and what she’s learned through her marriage through that experience. So I’d encourage you to listen to the first half that came out the Tuesday before. But yeah, this podcast comes out every Tuesday. So if this is your first time with us, you can stick around next week will be a solo show talking about how to have a peaceful marriage, that’ll just be me telling you the 10 tips that I have found most helpful and having a peaceful marriage. So come back next week. Otherwise, let’s go ahead and dive in to hear Julie’s story about growing through some of the hardest experiences of her life.

1:47
Well, we certainly, Jason and I have affirmed our need for each other, which I think is huge, coming from our self sufficient selves. So I think we’ve affirmed our need for each other and affirmed our need for God. And we did go away. Just was it last Saturday, overnight. And it is, especially, I mean, I can’t speak for when you don’t have children in the house, because we do. But you know, especially when there’s children in the house that you both or take care of that time away is just so precious. And after our two and a half years of bliss, we really had let that four per year thing go this past year. And now we will recommit to doing that. Because, again, if you don’t put your marriage first, and you don’t ask God into your marriage, then things get crazy quick.

3:07
Yeah, so that’s awesome. So you just went away. Um, you said for the it’s just in bed,

3:13
we have this little bed and breakfast that is in and you can laugh because it’s in our town. We don’t leave town. But where it’s set, it’s set kind of apart from you know that it’s set apart from the town. And we have been there now, once. This is our third year in a row. So it’s become very special to us. And yeah, that was a very nice time. Yeah.

3:44
I love that. I love that. Well, I mentioned that it’s, you know, just a night and not very far away. And you know, if you pinch pennies, you can do something like that, like that is so worth the while to, to be able to have that time, that intimate time together, where it’s just the two of you. You’re just focused on each other. There’s not the work stress, there’s not the family stress, there’s not all these other things competing for your attention. So I love that you prioritize. That’s very cool.

4:13
Yeah, they’re our neighbors. Last time we went there, they were like, you’re going to new Cumberland, your goal? I mean, you’re going to I don’t know if I’m supposed to say my town, but that is my Oh, you’re just going in town. I said, Yeah. Yeah. If you ever want to go away, I would recommend this place I would

4:36
go away. That’s awesome. Well, I think it’s it seriously inspires because I think so often we get this notion in our head of like, well, we’ve got to save up for this big vacation. Otherwise, you know, or we don’t have enough money to do something. I mean, you know, just just asking a friend to take care of your kids. So you can you know, go Just down the street and have a picnic together or whatever I mean, we’ve done definitely things like that where it just, you know, you just pinch your pennies, you get creative. Because you need that you need that time. That’s awesome. So, so Okay, so if you, you know, can name three chief things that have been central to your marital success? What would you say?

5:38
Three things, Jesus is Jesus, Jesus, Jesus is one. And prayer is another fella. If I may just say something about prayer. I get it, you know, busy people can’t always take quiet time. But I am gonna just push through that excuse for the moment. Because to me, prayer is your relationship with God. And so you can do that anywhere. We don’t always have quiet time with our husband, or our girlfriends, or our children for that matter, but we maintain a relationship with them throughout the day. And you can do that with Jesus. And our vehicle for that is prayer. So I can’t emphasize that enough. I, that’s, I have a prayer life of my own. And I pray with my husband to God. And I do yeah, I do. And so And the third thing is I that back to that choosing to love him. And in that choice factor is choosing to see how God made your husband, what are the qualities he gave your husband that you fell in love with? You choose to look for those. Yeah. So to summarize, Jesus, prayer, and choosing to love choosing to see the things to love about your husband. Yeah,

7:36
I love that. And I was gonna summarize, so thank you. No, no, no, I’m glad. So and I do want to kind of expound on each of those. So how is so you said Jesus in prayer. So how are those two things different? How would you define Jesus as being central to your marital success?

8:04
I think I’m going to go back to that, for me personally, Bella. Without God for 40 years in my life, okay, now I’m dating myself a little bit, but it was it was a whole 40 years, I didn’t know him whole 40 years that I had a whole boatload of loss, which led me to feel lonely a lot of my life and so that Jesus central to any marriage means that neither spouse is ever alone. neither spouse is ever alone. And does that answer your question, dear?

8:51
Yeah. Does it does really well? Yeah. And I wonder, you know, expounding on that maybe. You know, when you walk with Jesus, He informs the way you live, he informs the way you love, I mean, hand informs everything about your life. And I can imagine that informs how you love your your husband and the sacrificial love you have for him and kind of going back to what you said in the beginning of when you said, asking Jesus to replenish you, so that you can serve your husband you know, even asking Jesus to be to give you the energy to make love to your husband. I mean, I absolutely do that. Yeah. And and actually, when you said choosing to love him and understanding how God made your husband, that also rang a bell in my head, talking about sex because you know, I don’t think like my husband does. But if I really submit to understand who my husband is and how God has made my husband sex is a huge part of that. And, yeah, and so choosing to love my husband, in the way God made him in that aspect is also a sacrifice and serving and loving Jesus the way that and serving and loving your husband the way that Jesus loves you. So yeah, was there anything you wanted to say about anything that I just said?

10:35
I think I did mention, you know, I did begin to pray pretty specifically, this past fall or December, when I had the turnaround that please give me the energy and the want to have sex with my husband. And, again, for me, Bella that I never had to be intentional about that. I just assumed it would always be a natural thing that I would want him. But that went away. Then there you have Jesus, and He will deal with that. And so, and I will say, interestingly, our the frequency of our sex has decreased. But we’re that used to be a negative. I think that’s a positive for us at this point, because there is quality involved. When we’re together quality time. Intention. And yeah, so I That surprised me that that was going to work twice. It is working. So

11:57
that’s awesome. Yeah, right. It’s almost like, I have noticed absolute times when I’m, like, you know, different things have happened. Maybe I’m on medication, or maybe I’m extra stressed or busy or whatever. But then if I just keep it in my prayer life, I notice things will shift and suddenly I’m feeling more interested. And, you know, it’s just, it’s, I, again, kind of go back to what you just said, you know, you know, giving God the space to fill you when you ask Him into your life. And, and I wanted to go back to your prayer. The third, or the second thing that you mentioned was prayer. You know, for those listening, that maybe prayer is something they know in their head, like, Yes, I need to pray I understand. But what about, you know, I’m trying to just maybe someone that needs a little help, really doing it really putting it into practice? I mean, maybe it it’s, it doesn’t feel genuine or doesn’t feel like they’re being heard or what kind of guidance can you give on that?

13:14
Well, I, I, I grew close to God, before I read the Bible, and the way that I did that was through prayer. So this is what I have to say to everybody. Okay, there is no script, there is nothing specific God is waiting to hear from you. Unless there’s, you know, he’s asking you to fess up on something. I mean, there’s not a specific word you have to use if, if anything, it was a conversation that I started with him. And I was like, I have 40 years to tell you about. I started going, you know, it was like this huge realization that I was not alone anymore. And okay, so if there’s a secret camera in my house, I was probably looking like I was talking to myself a whole lot. And that was in the beginning, Bella. So if someone’s struggling to get started or doesn’t, again, doesn’t have the quiet time that they think they need. I say, talk to him, wherever, whenever about anything, and it’ll grow more natural that way. And the Lord I just pray that everybody listening tonight will have the faith that he listens to everything that He knows our hearts before we do, and that you don’t always get Got a response right away? Yeah, but he’s listening. And so then, as I’ve grown in the Lord, the prayer time when I do sit down with my Bible, and I ask Jesus, to show me something, I asked him to speak to me if there’s anything there. And you know, when you’re reading and a verse leaps off the page at you like that did off my devotional, that is God speaking to you, ladies. And he? Oh, it’s just beautiful, because he knows us so well. He knows what we need to hear. He knows when we need to hear it. So certainly, the Bible is important, but I don’t say it’s a requirement. If you’re struggling to get started, just start.

15:58
Yeah, that’s so good. That is really, really good. Okay, we talked about sex a little bit already. But you know, what’s a tip or advice about intimacy that you wish maybe someone let you in on earlier or some advice that you could give us?

16:23
Okay, the Bible tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves. And when I heard someone speak on that, that spoke very loudly to me, that I wondered if I, the caregiver, the one that always worries about everyone else, the one that notices what other people need, but doesn’t necessarily take care of herself well, or love herself? Well. So Bella, I know there’s, you know, sex is obviously, there’s a physical part two sex, but there is for women, such a need for emotional connection with their husbands that I want them to love themselves first, and not to look to their husbands to fill that validation that they are okay. So, sex is something that when you love yourself first, and for those of you out there who are going, Oh, I’m in trouble. Don’t know. Don’t worry, don’t worry, because I, I didn’t realize till God was in my life that for many years, I didn’t love myself. And it’s something that I just think women, we need to look at how well do we take care of our selves? How well do we love ourselves? Do we love ourselves as much as the neighbor next door as much as we love our children as much as we love our husband? And then you know what I realized Bella, when I love Jesus, I am loving myself. Because we have to initiate that relationship with him. And once we do, he just pours it out over us. And I have felt now with him more whole than I have ever felt in my life. In fact, it was you know, it’s it. Yeah. The value I place on myself because he values me because he died for me. Is just puts it all into perspective. So when we’re, when we’re hungry, and we go to give ourselves to our husband, we don’t leave the sex feeling empty. Yeah.

19:26
Yeah, I love that. So in terms of it, ideally, you would get to a place in your confidence and your value driven by your value that you see Jesus places in you to get to a place where sex is a place where you also find dignity and self assurance. I mean, is that kind of am I getting that right? Um

19:58
Oh, I think I think you’re spinning it and I like it. Oh

20:09
I like it. So because sometimes I get caught up in my relationship with Jesus, but when you enter into sex with your husband, you’re there with him. And when you cut, okay, so when you come as a holy loved woman, and that’s holy, h o l y, and that’s wh o l, l y, that’s both Holies. When you come as a holy woman to, to your marriage, I mean, to your sex bedroom, or wherever you’re engaging. God smiles on that he blesses that. So you, you receive love from your husband, and love from above, in that process? Um, is that what you were saying?

21:07
But I’m glad to have what what we ended up saying together, I think was great. No, but I mean, there’s so funny, I talk about sex constantly with you this podcast, and you know, all this stuff, whatever. But um, it’s just so funny how many aspects of it and how just God made it so integral, and it makes so much sense that our society, our culture is so obsessed with it, because it’s so a part of what God designed for his people to enjoy in the right context? And how fiery that can be with the relationship with Jesus and our relationship with our spouse. So yeah, it’s cool. Cool. All right. So due to your specific marriage, with Jason, what opportunities have you had to serve and get to know God?

22:01
Um, I’m not sure I understand the question. Do you mean together? Or?

22:07
So the question is more about, and we’ve talked about these things already, but it’s more about because of the struggles you’ve had, you know, how is it almost dependent on how you’ve walked with Jesus, that you’ve been able to either know him in a certain way or get to know Him? And maybe you can just underline one thing? Maybe we’ve already talked about it, that our listeners can take away with?

22:40
Well, when I, when you asked the question the first time you said something about serving God, so Okay. Yeah. So God, Bella, you know, about a year and a half ago, two years ago, he called me to speak and doing that son, and I, Whoo, yeah, there’s more speaking to come about the marriage. And then the year ago, he called me to write and the book that he has laid on my heart that I have interviewed women for his, you know, Christian wives. What? How do we, huh? define ourselves? And Hmm, how does that help or hurt our marriage? So?

23:28
Huh? Oh, that’s awesome. That’s so cool. Wow, what a great topic. Excited about yo. Yeah, that’s really cool. Awesome. Well, that was gonna be my next question. If there’s a book that you would specifically recommend, but maybe we need to hold tight. Wait for your book to come out.

23:50
There. There are so many books that I’ve read and if you if you will give me time to think and I can email you one and on your next podcast. I can give you that recommendation because there are so many that I’ve read that have helped and of course mine is not written yet but boy, I will let you know when it is.

24:10
Oh, good. I’m glad you will. Maybe you can come back and talk about it on like a topical Oh, that would be very awesome. Yeah. Okay, well, if you could go this is our last question. If you could go back to year one in your marriage and sit yourself down. What is one piece of advice that you would give

24:31
you oh oh, I would say I would say run to Jesus, because that was I got married. We got married, we had our first son right away. And my dad, my mom had already died. My dad died that first second year of our marriage. And that that was, I was just, I was angry for a long time. So if I had to give myself that, and the only thing that softened me has been Jesus, so I would say run to him. You know, as soon as you can. Yeah, yeah.

25:38
Yeah. That’s awesome. Yeah, I love that. That’s your piece of advice about your marriage, like, Jesus. That’s about your marriage.

25:51
Yeah, that’s awesome. All right, where can our audience find and connect with you?

25:57
Okay. And the blog that you gave them the website that you gave them? Julie Dibble writes that wordpress.com is where I blog. And I do have a Facebook page Bella, that is Julie Dibble, Christian speaker and author. I would love it. If you followed me there. There, you’ll find the blog posts, you’ll find other parts of my day, the way that this interview started was very much like how I start my day, sometimes on social media, and kind of whatever’s going on. And how do we how do we find hope in that so? Yeah.

26:38
That’s awesome. That’s awesome. And I’ll have your, your blog linked up on on the show notes so people can get it easily. And also your, your Facebook, I’ll get that linked up as well. And yeah, I’m just so excited. I think this was just jam packed of so much hope and insight and, and I’m sure it encouraged not only me, but everyone listening. So there’s so welcome. Awesome story and awesome encouragement to run to Jesus, you know, with your disappointment with your heart, with the things going on in your life with the things going on in your marriage. He’s the one that can teach you and guide you and move you closer to his heart and his welfare life. So yeah, that’s my encouragement for you. Today, thank you for joining me. And my guest. Like I said, next week is just you and me talking about the 10 tips I think are most helpful for making your marriage peaceful. And I think we can always benefit from having a more peaceful life and a peaceful marriage. After that, the second Tuesday of every month, is a topical interview, and you know that we are in the midst of our orgasm series. So we’re talking about female orgasm. And that you know, is a lot of what this podcast is about is marriage and intimacy in marriage. And that is everything that’s your heart. That’s your physical body that’s, you know, being encouraging of each other’s growth in Jesus. So that’s what this this podcast is about. That’s what my book and video course is about is, is growing us into good lovers of Jesus, and of our spouse. So I encourage you to come back for the next episode. And then feel free to check out the resources and other interviews that I’ve done are solo shows that I’ve done at delight your marriage.com you can just click on topics at the top, and you can see all the different things that are there but also resources that I have for you. Alright, well, thank you for listening. I am looking forward to talking to you next Tuesday. God bless you. I’m praying for you, your walk with God and your marriage. Love you so much. Bye bye.

29:02
Thanks for listening. Stop by delight your marriage.com to check out all the show notes as well as many more resources and articles. Until next time, live with love, wisdom impassion

 

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