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transcript

0:01
Hey there, belah rose here. Thanks for joining. I am reading an excerpt from my book, I’m taking a break from interviews over the summer. I think that God wants me to focus on family and some other things I believe he’s teaching me about. And I’m really grateful for, and I need space in my life to do that. And I feel like he wanted me to let go, do you I am for a couple months. So I have re recorded these excerpts for you, to encourage you over the weeks, that we won’t be talking week to week like we have been. But I hope these are encouraging you that they’ll inspire you that you will go ahead and listen to them as each week goes by so that you can be inspired for that week in your marital intimacy. So let’s go ahead and jump into this week’s excerpt. Sex is vulnerable. marital intimacy is it requires you to be vulnerable. My guess is you don’t like vulnerability. Like every other person on earth. It’s messy. It’s scary. It’s uncomfortable, and it makes you feel out of control so many times. It’s inherently risky. You risk feeling foolish. You open yourself up to ridicule and criticism. You open yourself to danger. I hear you. And almost nothing dredges up vulnerability like physical intimacy. It’s easy for me to shed tears in this area with my husband, nowadays, more good and healing tears than hurt and bad tears. But intense emotions either way, vulnerability is inherently close to tears are close to our hearts. It is in fact uncovering and exposing our true selves to one another. In order to truly know your husband, and to be known by him in the bedroom, and in every other part of your marriage. The walls that normally are healthy, to separate and guard ourselves must be brought low. Unfortunately, life has taught us that being vulnerable can get us hurt, in grade school, maybe your friend or maybe you told a friend, the name of your secret crush, and she blabbed it to the whole school. Or maybe your high school sweetheart heart dumped you right when your life seemed to be falling apart around you. or after you told your college boyfriend you loved him. You found out he was cheating on you. I mean, these were painful. Your tender, trusting heart was crushed. You learned it is not worth the risk. You have grown up adding guards around your heart to protect yourself. It is natural and often healthy to establish protection from such hurt. But it’s possible that these areas of your heart have not recognized where you are now in your life. You are in a loving marriage. The potential hurt you’re trying to avoid from your past should not be present anymore. I’m not advocating you throw caution to the wind if you are not in a safe marriage. There are situations with boundaries, which boundaries in place do protect in the midst of an unhealthy marital season. A great resource on this topic is boundaries in marriage by Townson and cloud. Assess your marriage and find out if there are areas in which your guard needs to be taken down. In her book daring greatly. Brene Brown elucidates the necessity of vulnerability for true deep connection with anyone. When you think of someone in your life who allows herself to be vulnerable, though she feels all of those uncomfortable, vulnerable feelings in the moment. She looks courageous. It takes courage to show your messy feelings when even when they can’t be tied up in a nice put together package. It takes courage to stand before Your husband who hurt you, and say calmly and respectfully that you were wounded by what he said. It takes courage to admit that you are wrong and ask for his forgiveness. It takes courage to have a raw conversation with him to tell him you’d like to try some new things in bed and you would like his help. It takes courage to walk into the room, scantily clad in front of your husband and trust that He will love it. It takes courage to initiate lovemaking.

4:51
It takes courage to let your guard down and experience orgasm. It takes courage to bring up difficult bedroom Conversations. It takes courage to be vulnerable in sex. Right in your workbook when and in what ways do you feel most vulnerable in the bedroom? I bet you wish you didn’t have to be vulnerable to achieve sexual bliss in your marriage. And sometimes I do too. Vulnerability is hard and often painful. Without true vulnerability, however, there cannot be true intimacy, it may be possible to have an exciting, short lived fleeing without the discomfort of vulnerability. But to have a deep, true and fulfilling connection with your husband, vulnerability is necessary. vulnerably vulnerability means unprotected or unguarded. Here’s a visual that helps my understanding of vulnerability in intimacy. Imagine you and your husband are suited up in full medieval armor, complete with helmets, swords and shields. Can you imagine trying to have physical intimacy with the armor on? If even giving each other a hug? Just wouldn’t be comfortable, if possible, and at the very least, it wouldn’t be a satisfying hug. What is your husband? What if your husband takes off his armor and is vulnerable to you, but you keep yours on you more than likely would hurt him with your armor, sword or shield in an embrace. It is not possible to truly support him without letting down your own guard to and taking off your own armor. Imagine after years of this armor separating the two of you that you two would slowly take off the armor and move towards each other in embrace what a wonderful and full feeling comes from such an embrace. This is the picture of true intimacy through vulnerability. And God set it up that way. Well, thank you to listening for listening to this excerpt from the delight your husband book. I encourage you to go to delight your marriage.com There’s so many resources. I can’t speak anymore. There’s so many resources that I hope you will go and check out if you haven’t yet. Thank you so much for listening. If this is your first time, welcome to the podcast. We’ve got so many other episodes for you to check out. I hope and pray that it would bless you inspire you to connect and especially this week. What are you hiding from your husband? How are you guarded? What do you need to be vulnerable so you can truly enjoy the the fullness that sexual intimacy is meant to be. God bless you. We’ll talk soon