Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Main points:

-God’s might and glory is shown in the uniqueness of creation. And in the tiniest of details of your body.

-The way you feel about your body affects the way you interact with your spouse and the rest of the world.

-Children are released in their bodies. Body insecurity is learned (and its unattractive).

-Our self-perception is tied to so many different things. Time of the month, what we’ve been eating for the last couple of weeks, what stresses are in our lives etc. And this affects the way we eat and look at ourselves.

-You can honor and listen to your body. But you don’t have to feel pressure that you have to get “there” before you can seduce your husband and be released in your body.

-Practical tips on what you can do today to be more released.

 

Check out The Seduction Course presale here for 50% off before it goes live (very soon)!

 

 

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Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host belah. Rose.

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Welcome, welcome. Thank you so much for joining. I wonder where you are right now, and what you’re thinking about what you’re doing. Welcome, I’m glad you’re here, I hope that this is an encouragement to you pick up in your day, whatever you’re up to. Now, I think this is going to be something that inspires you. We have been tracking on this body series, I don’t know if you have been along for the ride or not. But feel free to just go through them again, and kind of get the the nuggets that you can to give you a greater sense of freedom in your body, with your husband. Because as women, you and I both know, that body is huge, the way we think about our body affects the way we encounter our husband in the bedroom. If we think it’s gorgeous, then we’re much more free. If we think there’s a lot of room for improvement. It’s challenging to feel that way. So we’ve talked a lot about our body being a gift, that it’s not ours, we’re not responsible for the way it looks, that God made it perfectly beautifully. He designed it, he created it, he is the master creator, He’s the heaven, He is the God of heaven and earth, he doesn’t make mistakes. You know, if you zoom in to the itty bitty tiny, tiny molecules of a flower, you know, think about, I don’t know, if you remember, biology class, I can just imagine the plant cells, you know, there’s the different nucleolus, and the just imagining all these little colorful blobs inside this green capsule, called a plant cell, it’s kind of where my mind goes in the science textbook, I remember but all these little plant cells, all these tiny little things inside of there, then then layers and layers of plant cells, and suddenly you zoom out, and then that’s what created one leaf. And then from there, you’ve got one leaf connected to the stem connected to the ultimate flower. And that has got to be connected to the root system. And that, you know, brings in all the nutrients, and you’ve got to have certain things to make plants work like water, and sunlight and air, all of those things in order for an a certain temperature, right? I mean, these are details that God did, God is a God of details. So the tiny little details of your body are important. He put them there, they’re not accidents. You know, if you have a certain color skin, that wasn’t an accident, he didn’t accidentally decide that you are of that ethnic origin, whatever it was, that was on purpose. So it’s beautiful. And you should think it’s beautiful. And you should take your body as beautiful in every respect. And we’ve been talking about this a lot. But But don’t let this go Don’t, don’t listen to it passively. Embrace this cause this to be something you can start to live into. You know, it’s interesting, I was visiting a friend the other day, and she’s very passionate about social justice. And that’s one thing I absolutely love about her. And I went into her bathroom, and I saw this kind of framed, quote, and it was interesting because it was about skin color. And I one line just stuck out to me where it said something like my skin does not was not for thought or there was not for thought in my the way I look or something along those lines. And even though I understand that she’s saying, you know, the overarching you know, heart of it is that we are all created with equality and there’s no reason to separate that because of a certain particular aspect of our, our physical characteristics. I agree with that, except that they were for thought that God did

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have it in his mind to create us with such intention. So for whatever reason, he wanted you to be uniquely you that you are that specific height, that specific colored hair, the specific eyes, the specific way your hands are shaped, the length of your arms, the length of your legs, the shape of your toes, like those are things that he intended for them to be that way, because God is he’s his might, his beauty, his creativity is reflected in his designs. And diversity is who God is. He made this world incredibly diverse, just walk in the forest. Is there one type of tree? Wouldn’t it be horribly boring if there was one type of tree? No, there’s just zillions of different trees and leaves and vines and saplings and giant giant trees and, and then trees are absolutely full grown butter, you know, no more higher than your leg, or, I mean, God just, it just shows more of who he is. And the way we think about our own body is a reflection of how much we are willing to say that God creates that God designs that God intentions. So I want to circle back to this idea of being released in your body. Because as you continue to meditate on this truth, and continue to live into it, it begins to shift the way that you think about your body. Now it’s so funny, because I spent my previous season really focused on this as a as a theme, I guess, we’re a topic of, of prayer and focus and intention, and, and reading and learning and journaling and processing. Because I really felt like God wanted me to focus on this. And my aim was to focus on freedom with food, slash body stuff. It was really freedom with food. But that totally plays into your body and how you feel about your body doesn’t it? And it was last season, and I felt that, you know, it was going to be done after that season. And what God showed me is that as I was going through this process, I got to the end of those few months, and realize that I have gotten so much farther in terms of my understanding in terms of wisdom. But I have a lot more to go in terms of just the way life unfolds. You know, I think that myself, and I think many women are this way that when they have had emotional eating, as the way that they’ve dealt with life, when it gets rough. That there, it kind of comes in waves, you know, or cycles that, you know, as you get really good with processing your emotions and, you know, understanding your trigger triggers and, and seeing them as triggers. That don’t mean in order to survive this experience, you have to eat, you have to numb instead of that, realizing that this desire to eat when I’m not hungry, is really a red flag to say there’s something hard, I need to process there’s something really difficult happening. I don’t know if I know what it is, I might know what it is. But I don’t know if I know what it is. And maybe it’s something like loneliness, maybe I want to eat because I feel lonely. Maybe I want to eat because I feel insecure. Maybe I want to eat because I just lost a person that meant a lot to me and I don’t know how to deal with life unless I eat

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these are things that I am currently continuing to process. I say that it comes in waves because it’s interesting. I did the first part of this series about a month ago and I scheduled it all out in advance and it’s so funny that just a month later, I’m noticing that I’m in a different space. And I’m in this place of processing it again and and continuing to do the hard work Continuing to say, this is the body God gave me this is of such value that I need to be listening to my body. And what I put in, it needs to be listened to and honoring how it feels. And taking the space and time for that, and realizing that it matters, that your life is not too busy to value, the the entity that causes you to have life. Right? I mean, it’s your body we’re talking about this is what makes you have life and for us to value it in a positive way, and to stop feeling so negative about it and to stop doubting ourselves and feeling so insecure and not being comfortable in our own skin. And this is something like I said, I’m, I’m in the, in the wave where I am feeling a little bit farther off than I, I was just a little while ago. And I want to be honest with you about that, because I want you to know that I’m not telling you, from a space of you can’t work at this or, or once you work hard enough, you’re going to get there, it’s it’s really a daily decision to honor what God’s given you. And in honoring and listening to that. And not numbing this world and saying that it’s too much to handle, I’m just going to use food as though it were a drug and totally avoid life. And I think that in women food, and God, she does a great job of helping to cause you to recognize that it’s not just it’s not just this idea of you know, using food in terms of eating, necessarily, you might be in a restrictive way of, of significantly dieting, or dieting in this idea of that’s kind of your obsession with with keeping weight off, or, you know, working so hard to get weight off. And that’s your obsession and your way of checking out of life of the things that really are important. So those are just kind of meandering thoughts, but it might provoke something in you to cause you to think about putting your body in a more honored place in your life, you know, because your body is a lot more than just an entity to carry around your brain. You know, especially when we think about intimacy, especially when we think about enjoying and engaging in intimacy with our spouse. So again, circling back to being released in our body. When was the last time you saw a kid, just jump and run and laugh and dance. I mean, it is the most wonderful thing. We actually had neighbors over yesterday for a surprise party for the father, he came in and was totally unsuspecting, we jumped out and scream surprise. And then shortly thereafter, there was a really funny song that I’ve never heard before, but maybe you’re familiar with it’s called the gummy bear song. It’s kind of hilarious and ridiculous. Anyway, we put it straight on. So the kids could jump and run around and sing and dance and it was hilarious. And the kids they just flail around having fun, whatever and, you know, adults we just, we are so more self conscious. And we don’t need to be that way. We can be so much more free with our body.

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And not necessarily Am I asking you to be free in front of people dancing with your body, by it in front of your husband, to be free in that to be free in front of your husband to dance to seduce to entice. So there’s so much more I want to say about this seduction. And I was trying to like tease out what what are the things that I could say that I feel would be okay, on a public podcast where anyone can just pick up and listen. And I realized that I the details I want to share, I’m not going to be able to share on the podcast. So what I’ve done is I am creating a course actually dubbed the seduction course, we’ll see if I make a more interesting name here pretty soon, but it’s currently the seduction course. And I am going to set up a pre sale for 50% off right now. So before it is absolutely live, and it’ll be live in the next couple of weeks. But if you’re listening to this, right now, you can get it 50% off at delight your marriage.com. So go there and sign up. Basically, I will give you just a quick overview. But here’s what I want to include, because I just think it’s so important. You know, women so often I think they get the heart of it. You know, I hear people that I coach, they they kind of understand, okay, it’s not wrong, it’s not sinful. My husband loves it. Okay, now, what the heck do I do? So this is what it is, I want to be very clear. This is for you. What is seduction, the three necessary components of seduction, the four steps to steamy yet sacred seduction, and then tons of exact specific examples. So we’ll deal with language, examples, text sequences, example phone language, example in person language, example intimacy, language, example situations, example activities, example actions, then the three things to steer clear of at all costs. And then how to make it genuine from your body, your heart and your spirit. So like I said, I want to get really practical, really specific, because I think it can really help you. How do you turn what you know about your body, what you know about your husband, what you know about the way he thinks and is into practice, so that it can be of benefit to your marriage, and ultimately, your walk with God? If that’s what this is, it’s more than just having a steamy passionate, sex life. It’s so so much more. Okay, so I want to end this show with a quick story. So it wasn’t too long ago that my office had this Christmas party. And it was actually really cool. They had rented out this big, beautiful ballroom, there was tons of people there. And they had a dance floor. I couldn’t believe it. So, you know, there was buffet style food, and you kind of walked around and, you know, got a drink here and did that. And so my husband and I did that for a while. And, you know, the DJ eventually got to some more kind of dancing music. And I was like, Honey, I’d really love to dance. And, of course, my husband wants to make me happy as all husbands do. So he was like, Oh, okay. So then we went and started dancing. And you know, it was just so fun, because I just, I get so into the music and start just feeling the music with my body. And it’s not this disconnect, but it’s this, like just letting letting the beat guide where I put my body. Funny enough, when I was growing up, nowhere near that. I wear T shirts and long, baggy pants to hide any kind of shape of my body that I might be because I was so insecure about it.

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But I remember one specific moment was my mom and sister were in the kitchen. And they started dancing to something on the radio and I come in and I was dancing too. And apparently, I just looked so awkward and funny that they all just burst out laughing, which is you know, fun. But the point is that I haven’t always been that way. I haven’t been a person that’s been comfortable in my own skin. And it’s only been really meditating on the way that I don’t need to be insecure about how I feel about money. I’m in I, I have beauty, I am beautiful, I don’t need to walk down the street, and make apologies for not being the standard of beauty that someone might think I am. Because really, when I’m thinking that others are judging me, I am really judging myself. Does that make sense? So when you think that others think you look a certain way, you’re actually just judging yourself, you have no idea what they think, none, unless you go ask them, and then they might not even be honest, so you have really just no idea. So all that to say, though, is that you decide to be released in your body, you decide to go out on that dance floor, and listen to that music and move your body, regardless of how it looks. And, you know, it was interesting, because while we were out there dancing, you know, just kind of seeing other people dancing too, there were two ladies that stuck out in my mind. One was very beautiful. And she had very I would say the standard of beauty in society, in terms of proportions. In terms of dress length, she had it all she was very modelesque on the dance floor. And there was another lady that was fairly, just much larger, you know, had very different kinds of clothes on but she just much, much larger in terms of her weight, overweight and those kinds of things. But I will say that the First Lady, when she was dancing, I would say that she was pretty uncomfortable in her own body, she was uncomfortable in her own skin. And honestly, if I was a man, I wouldn’t be very attracted to her because she just was so insecure, just not enjoying who she is. But then the second lady was having a great time, she was relaxed, she was moving, she was grooving like I was, I was excited, I was inspired to continue to enjoy because she was so clearly enjoying herself. So I encourage you, regardless of where you are, in terms of the way you feel about your body, the first step is honoring what your body is be released. Except that you’re beautiful don’t apologize that you don’t look a certain way or you haven’t you know maintained a certain weight. Just just accept that you can be released you can be everything you know. So, this ultimately goes back to the bedroom. It goes back to understanding that your husband is so attracted to your body, your husband’s so desires to see your body he so desires to see you seduce him. he so desires to see the slow uncovering the slowly being unveiled.

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But it’s a choice for you to choose to be released to choose to be confident even when you don’t feel it. Like I said, I mean, there’s been these recent days and weeks where I have just not felt good about my body in terms of what I’m eating in terms of maybe my menstrual cycle which is all very regular part of us women our lives, right there’s all sorts of reasons we feel bloated or whatever. And yet, our husband still deserves to enjoy our beauty. Our curves, our bare waist, our bare breasts or bare bottom, you know all of those things that he loves, you can reveal seductively because you recognize how much it matters to him. You can still be released. Regardless, I am still processing I am still loving. I am still learning to honor my body but it doesn’t mean that because I’m not quote unquote there that I’m going to you know, rob the opportunity Have for my husband to enjoy what he’s meant to enjoy in who I am. Does that make sense. So he is meant to enjoy his wife’s curves. I mean, that’s the way God made him is to enjoy the visual feast of his wife. And that’s my privilege to bring him a visual feast of who I am. And so I encourage you to be released in your marriage. And do the hard work, continue to discipline yourself to honor your body, and recognize that your body is gorgeous. And it deserves to be appreciated by your husband. So here’s some practical things. Like I said, I really feel the seduction course, can give you the, you know, action items to do the examples, the practical, that kind of stuff, but I can give you some really key things that will inspire you to move forward in this. So number one, very practical, is check your posture. So, whatever situation outside of the bedroom inside of the bedroom, both of those are going to be helpful to you. In this process of being released is practice. Doing a big breath, break breath in. Big breath out, putting your shoulders down and back. kind of relaxing your shoulders, lowering them from your years. And then just putting your Yeah, your shoulders back, just changing your posture sitting up. Right. So as you’re about to go in front of your husband and have a seductive dance striptease, you know, put your yourself in the right posture. So that’s number one. Number two, affirmations I’ve said this before, but I really mean it. I don’t think you’ve been doing your affirmations enough, young lady. Me either. We need to do those affirmations more. But truly, they make a difference the way you talk to yourself. So you got to be intentional, because I know so many times the records are playing about how you look as negative and all these ways, but you’ve got to start playing the right records that say You’re beautiful, you’re gorgeous, you’re fearfully and wonderfully made. I curves, I’ve got everything to drive my husband wild. I am gorgeous. All the details of my skin were divinely created. Okay, so, posture, affirmations. And then the last one, in terms of homework that I want you to do in being released, is to push yourself out of your comfort zone, out of your comfort zone, push yourself, not just push yourself, but stay in that discomfort. Stay in the discomfort. I know, you feel silly, or you feel ridiculous, but stay in it. So if there’s something that your husband has mentioned that, you know, if only you had the courage you would do

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do it. Use this is your motivation this week to go for it. Or if there was some, you know, thing at work that, you know, would really cause you to have discomfort, but at the same time, you know, it’s just a confidence thing, it would ultimately be a great thing for you to do. Just go for it. You know, be willing to sit with that discomfort because soon it’s not going to feel as uncomfortable soon, it’s going to start feeling more normal and natural. You know, it’s kind of funny, I got my haircut not too long ago. And at first I felt super self conscious because it was such a dynamic, dramatic change. And then and then I started just really living into it. And it just felt so normal. It’s felt just so like you know, this is a very normal way to have my hair but at first because it was not only different color, but different length and all this it was just so uncomfortable to be around people to walk by people it felt like everyone must be staring at my head. But then pretty soon it just now it’s normal. It’s no big deal. So I encourage you to just sit in the discomfort. Yes, it’s going to not feel good for a while, but eventually it’s going to feel better and is going to get better and it’s going to be more natural. Alright, well go. And the probably the last thing I would say is check out the selection course, I think there’s real value there, I would really encourage you 50% off right now and get that practical stuff that you can do. You know, I will give you the lines, the actual words, the actual situations. So you don’t have to think that this is completely out there. Because I belah rose and telling you what to do and say, and eventually, this is going to become second nature to you and you won’t need me to script to feed you stuff to do and say but in the beginning, you might need that, and that’s totally okay. It’s totally okay. And maybe you’re even far, far along and you just want creative ideas, which I totally support. So go for that as well. All right, my dear. God bless you. I am looking forward to talking to you more next week. Otherwise, I will see you at the presale, delight your marriage.com Click on Resources, and it’ll pop right up. Thanks so much. God bless you. Bye.

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Thanks for listening. Stop by delight your marriage.com to check out all the show notes as well as many more resources and articles. Until next time, live with love, wisdom impassion