Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Main Points:

• The safety and stability of a home is due to the spouses’ generosity in the bedroom
• Making love is God’s work.
• “Yes, God changed me. But he changed me through [our intimacy].” -my husband
• Gen 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
  • God was talking about sex.’
• What a wife needs to make love is a man living out the fruit of the Spirit.

The Seduction Course Part 1 is released today!! Purchase now to have the most discounted price! (It will go up next Tuesday when I release Part 2!)

I am SO excited to share this content with you. I think it will really get you to the place of implementing and doing, practically, those things that will really make you feel powerful. Because you will know that you know how to drive him wild.

0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host belah. Rose.

0:18
Hi there, and welcome. Thank you so much for joining me today, I hope all is going well in your day. And if things are hard, and a lot of times things in life are, I hope that this is a little bit of respite, something that kind of picks you up and causes you to come outside of maybe some of the challenges and gives you fresh insight and energy into your day. Just FYI, might have some background noise going on. And I hope you’ll be okay with that. My husband is busy making our lunch after he put the kids to sleep, while I asked him if it would be okay if I prepared for our interview. And he was happy to do all of those things. So this is a podcast that I really want to share. I was cut, you know, when I prepare for podcasts, and I, I really just kind of am prayerful about what God wants me to speak on are just kind of discerning, or my aim is to be discerning of where the inspiration is. And where I see in terms of my heart is becoming really sensitive to or feeling really difficult emotions towards and wanting people to know this, if they only knew this things would be different. And so I feel like some sometimes that’s the way I get inspired. And I feel the Lord leading in terms of the specific topic I talk about. So today, the missional marriage bed. Now, as a woman, I feel that this is, I hope, a helpful podcast, I probably don’t have to convince so many men, that marriage bed is actually a place that produces spiritual fruit. But I think women might not be in that spot. So what I want to be talking about is the purpose missionally of sex in your marriage. The reason I say men probably don’t have to be convinced of this is because they know when intimacy is good and consistent and generous in their marriage. It’s much more easy for them to connect to Jesus to not be tempted to kind of stay on the straight and narrow. Those are things that become easier for them when intimacy is strong. And I think for women, we were not exactly wired that way. You know, I feel as a woman that sex is something that’s wonderful. But it’s not necessarily something that is on my mind all the time, or needs to be this, you know, really consistent frequence experience. Now, what I do know as a wife is that I know how my husband is I know, a level of insight into his heart, that makes me understand how important this is to our marriage, XY and Z. But if I didn’t know those things, I don’t know that I would make sure that sex was such a priority. Because to me, I could go quite a while without it being a large piece of our lives. Now, there wouldn’t be a lot of the fruits of sex, but I wouldn’t feel personally deprived necessarily because I wouldn’t see the issue as sex I would see it as him being moody and him being not servant hearted and him not doing the things that he should be doing and him not being a good father and I would be blaming all you know him not being connected to me or wanting to listen or wanting to talk and that’s what I would see as the issues not the issue of me not being a generous lover in our sexual intimacy.

4:59
So That’s kind of one of the pieces I want to, or the maybe the backdrop of what I want to say, as a woman, as a woman that feels the way I do. And certainly, there’s variants of how women feel about sexual intimacy. So the women, I generally speak to our women, like myself, you know, maybe myself 10 years ago, where I was unaware of who men were created to be their drive, and the purposes of it, and the purposes of sex and what I as as the wife of a man, what my role is in that. And so I speak to women who are, have a lower libido than their husbands and maybe don’t naturally crave that as their their husbands do. So, today, I really want to focus in on how sex is actually a part of your ministry, in this life, how sex is not just about serving his appetite, but sex is actually about serving our Creator God. And actually being a person that’s living according to your mission, as a woman, as a as a being, who was created by God, who we want to worship who we want to live for. And sex is a huge piece of that. It’s not just for your husband, so yes, delight, your marriage, delight your husband video course, to let your husband book and my new the seduction course, all of those seem to be focused on how to please your man. But it’s really so much more than that. It’s really becoming a woman who elevates this piece of life, in the place that I feel God wants it to be, because it is so missional so I want to talk about that. Why is sex missional Why is your marriage bed, a missional place a place of, of deep ministry, deep purpose in terms of who God is, and who we are in relationship to that. When God created man, when he created woman, He created us in His image. So you as a woman are a bearer of God’s image. So your nature as a woman is reflective of God’s nature. Your nature as a mother is reflected of God’s nature as a mother, those nurturing those desires of emotional care, of being cherished, of desiring. You know, affection. Those are things about God, that He desires and craves those things that he wants to nurture, that he wants to care for. These are, these are images, these are the dignity of God, reflective and a woman. And also, as a woman. You know, we want a man who is patient, who is gentle, who is kind, who is faithful, who is generous. Now I’m trying to think of all the fruits of the Spirit. Let’s see, love, joy, peace, joyful, right? We want a happy husband joyful, peaceful, love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, a good man, kindness a kind man. Let’s see where is it gentle and self control. We want to self controlled man, I think I got all the fruits of spirit. I mean, those are, those are deep desires of our hearts and

9:06
a man one of the top things is he wants a sexual woman he wants a woman who craves him sexually, who is generous in the bedroom who is free in the bedroom, who is willing to be adventuresome and have variety and likes and craves and wants his body and, and is excited about his member and wants all of those things. And that’s one of a top high priority on his list. And for a woman to get there and to want any and all of those things. She wants a man that’s going to exhibit the fruits of the Spirit. So if you think about a husband and a wife, a man and a woman coming together for a woman to be all of the things that her husband wants her to be there’s tygris in the bedroom. He’s got to be exhibiting the first thing The Spirit, if he is this selfish pig, you know, out in the streets out in the world, you know, treating her poorly throughout the days, she’s not gonna want to do any of those things in the bedroom. Absolutely not. But if he is seeking the Lord and seeking to exhibit the fruits of the Spirit and seeking spiritually to walk in, in those the character of Jesus, she wants those things, and ultimately what he wants. So it’s, I think, very interesting how God made men and women so different. And yet, they need each other, you know, the man needs the woman, because to be sexually fulfilled, he needs her. He can’t do that on his own. Right, he needs her to fulfill him that way. And the woman needs him in the ways that she needs him in the affection and the attention of being cherished. So sex is a huge part of that, of helping us to be more like Jesus, right. And as a woman, we become more like Jesus when we serve in the area of intimacy. So generously, right as a as a woman, and I’m speaking specifically to women like me, as a woman, I don’t crave intimacy, like my husband does not in the least, I enjoy the elements that I enjoy about intimacy. But I could go significant time without it. But I will say that when I do it, when I put myself in the place, and I use my will to do that, when I put myself in the place of, of craving, and I created an area in my, in my heart, it’s almost like going to the gym, right? You, you might have a really tough time going to the gym. But once you’re there, and you rock it out, and you got your tunes, or, you know, you’re getting there and you’re moving your body and all that, man afterwards, you feel like a million bucks. And you realize, yeah, this was totally worth it. Well, a lot of times us as women, we’ve got to decide in our hearts and our minds, we are going to do this, we are going to get in there, do it 100%. And afterwards off, the payoff is amazing. Afterwards, the payoff is unity, joy, peace. This is wonderful. Just just overwhelming sense of connection, putting the two of you on the same page in a way that nothing else can. That’s what sexual intimacy does. And it brings you to, to a level of connection and satisfaction, so that you both enter life. In a place of fulfillment, you enter life, knowing that your relational needs are being met, that you feel loved. And then it’s so much easier to love your neighbor, it’s so much easier to love your kids, it’s so much easier to serve in the capacities that you serve in. Because you’re, you feel so fulfilled in your relationship. So I had a few friends growing up, who had wonderful marriages. And when I say a few, I really think about one in particular, but more recently, it started to make me think of a second one that was also a really good marriage. And there was a lot of hardship in the marriage. I grew up in

13:54
real, like, just pain that came from the marriage I experienced as a child growing up. But I was talking to my husband about this was so interesting. I spent a lot of time at my friend’s house. And my husband really put his finger on it that there was a piece there. And that home, you know, even though there were so much rocky storms at my own house, when I went over there, there was just a piece. It was safety. That was the thing he said that was he really hit the nail on the head safety. There was a safety there in that house, that things were stable, that this this home was not being rocked by the potential of splitting up by the potential that anytime there’s going to be rhetorical knives thrown across the room at each other you know that we’re going to attack and there’s going to be You know, strife and sadness and pain. But instead there was just the safety in this home. And, you know, it was interesting. When my husband said that we were thinking in the context of when our boys are moved out of the house, I wonder what God’s going to be causing us to have our attention and focus on and I was thinking, you know, maybe it’s too, so into the lives of young people. And he’s like, yeah, maybe it, maybe it’s, you know, being a safe space for young people that they can just feel the atmosphere in our home of safety, you know, that the world is not as Rocky as they think it might be that God is allowing there to be safety here. And 100% I know very specifically, that both of those houses, sex was a huge part of it. It was generous in those homes. And it might sound funny, but that is so foundational to a healthy home. It is so foundational, generous lovemaking is foundational. And as I’m doing this seduction course, as I’m continuing to write it, it’s been amazing writing this course, it’s just, it’s caused me to grow, it’s caused me to become more excited. And I’m just so excited to share this material. Anyway, so but the. So I was thinking about when I was talking to my husband, who’s thinking about, you know, the truth is that the woman controls the sexual relationship in the home, the husband can only do so much. The wife is the one that decides when it’s going to happen, how it’s going to happen, if it’s going to happen, the situation it’s going to happen in I mean, she is the one. And it’s interesting, because when I started to be so much more intentional about lovemaking in a generous in a exciting in a, you know, lots of variety. In that way. You know, my husband felt so much more loved. But for me, I didn’t realize that I was the one making the changes. It wasn’t him, he didn’t make changes. And yet, I felt so much more loved to the way he responded to me, because he was feeling so loved was I felt so loved. And yeah, the benefits in my relationship, though, I have a lot of fun with seduction, I have a lot of fun doing these things and the connection we feel. But in terms of just the more practical

18:19
I don’t know, fruits or benefits of lovemaking in this way, are outside of the bedroom. Honestly, for me, you know, I have a husband, that’s a better father, I have a husband that’s willing to do tons of things just because I say I’d like to, you know, I’d like that. And I just leave it at that as a surrendered wife, I just, I let him make the choices. But I I just trust that that. You know, when I say something I’d like sometimes it happens and I and it makes me really happy. And but the point is, I have a better life when I am generous with my husband. It’s just it’s incredible. It’s it’s incredible. The man I have because of my depth of generosity in the bedroom. And I’ve even talked to my husband, he was a very different man. You would be shocked. You would be shocked. Maybe one day I’ll be able to have his testimony on here. But you know, I kind of asked him about well, you don’t really think sex is the thing that changed you. You know, God clearly changed you and he’s like, Yeah, I agree. But I think God use sex to change me. very vital. I’m just gonna say it again. Yes, God changed me but I think God used your sex to change me. And dear wives, we have no idea how much sex matters to his heart. We don’t we just can’t understand it. But take it at my Word, just, this is so important. Your husband knows it. It’s so like, obvious. He’s probably like, I don’t need to listen to something like this. This is, it’s obvious, of course, don’t you just look around at our world, of course, that’s what it’s all about. And as wives, it’s not, it’s not on our radar like that. But think about it that way that what you do in your marriage bed affects the way your husband lives, his life, it affects the way he’s able to focus, it affects the way he’s able to relax his body, and it affects the way he is less given to anger. And it’s, it allows him this space to have the the ability to feel more love towards you and more connection and the desire to serve you more. And there’s such a mission. As part of why you make love to your husband, there’s a mission there. There’s purpose there. There’s a ministry there. And, you know, when God made man and woman, it said, Therefore a man shall leave his mother and father, and be united to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. There’s no other way that you can interpret one flesh. It’s literally skin on skin, flesh on flesh, becoming one flesh, the sexual relationship in marriage, Scott ordained, it’s God designed, it’s in its that’s what marriage is becoming one flesh, the sexual union. So, I just encourage you that sex is so much more than being quote unquote, about him. And yet, and yet, as a woman, speaking, definitely for myself, but possibly for all women. I’m not sure but possibly. When you are in your marriage bed, you are doing God’s work. You are doing God’s work. It’s not all that serving outside of the bedroom. It’s not all that stuff. But God’s work is happening in your marriage bed. That is God’s work. All that other stuff is good. And you know, discern your discern it, you know, check to find out is this God’s will, is it not, but definitely, when you make love to your husband, that is God’s will, like, just hear that. It is definitely God’s will to make love to your husband.

23:06
So, circling back the seduction course, I want to give you that I want to give you how to do that how to how to be a woman that makes love in a way that’s free in a way that’s hot, something that turns you on something that turns him on? How to understand language in the bedroom, how to understand being free, what does that look like? How do you do that? In a way? That’s fantastic intimacy, how do you do that? Where it’s not just meat and potatoes, sex, how does it? How is it hot and exciting. I don’t feel that I can say very specific explicit things on a very public way like this. So I think the privacy of a course allows me to be much more explicit, much more specific in verbage, in clarity on those things, so I want to I want to give you that option. Now. I also want to motivate you to do this course. So I’m releasing it week by week. So this is actually a first week I’m releasing it. So every week it’s going to go up in price. So this is also a motivator for you to get on the bandwagon now as soon as you can do the coursework and really do it, do it. Do this coursework. Get yourself out of where you were, and into hot, steamy, vulnerable, generous, godly, exciting sex life. Go to delight your marriage.com the seduction course right now it’s over 50% off. This is going to be really good. I am excited for you So this is God’s work. This is God’s work. You see these horrible things in the news all the time, where men of God fell to porn addictions and prostitution and all these horrible affairs and churches and just terrible things. But if they had incredible sex lives, that stuff wouldn’t even be close to happening. And I want that for you. This is hard work that I do, believe it or not. Because whatever. I mean, it’s hard. But I want you I mean, I just pray I was just praying about it this morning. Like, what if God did something amazing in 100 marriages? Through this course, what if God did that? In just 100 marriages? That’s 100 families. That’s 100 Ministries, because it could be 200 Ministries, because we’ve got that husband and the wife feeling free and and loved and generous in, in their, in their gifts and the work of God in their lives. Because flowing out of this place of deep fulfillment. From a very connected sex life. Oh, just 100 just 100 So who knows what if God’s gonna do that and 1000 marriages. So start this journey with us with me. This is going to be fantastic. So to let your marriage calm so that the seduction course you can click on Resources, find it there. My dear. I’m praying for you. I love you. I hope that this has been something that you say yes. God wants a wonderful, hot, steamy, exciting, passionate sex life. This is God’s work. When I approached my husband in intimacy, it is God’s work. Alright, well, I will talk to you next week. I love you. Have a wonderful rest of your day. And make love to your husband tonight.

27:15
Thanks for listening. Stop by delight your marriage.com to check out all the show notes as well as many more resources and articles. Until next time, live with love, wisdom impassion