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Questions Discussed:

• • Is it helpful to fantasize about others?
  • How to get turned on
  • How to have an orgasm
  • Female erections
  • How to rekindle your attraction
  • How to get turned on even if you don’t “like” him right now
  • How you can be turned on by him
    • What he can do
    • What you can do
  • Resources mentioned:
  • Vibrator I recommend –

 

 

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I didn’t feel I could give the specificity I’d like to on a public platform like a podcast or website. So, I’m including VERY practical understandings and examples (language, scenarios, actions) you can use immediately in this course! And the biblical foundations as to why you should be able to enjoy!

Check out The Seduction Course: (Christian) Hot Sex, Step A, B, C.

• The 3 Components of Seduction
• Freedom in Language & Actions (Why & HOW!)
• Teasing & Variety for Hot Sex (Specifically)
• Three Things to Steer Clear of At all Costs
• All Steamy AND Sacred

 

0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host belah rose.

0:18
Hello, hello, and welcome. Thank you so much for joining. Now, if this is your first time at the delight, your marriage podcast, we are all about marriage intimacy, in it to get you to a wonderful place where you’re serving each other, loving each other. And that just bleeds out to the rest of your life, where that love and sacrifice and connection can give you fullness in so many parts. So you can be everything that God wants you to be in every area of your life. Now, today, I want to talk about being turned on by your man for life. How does that work? So there’s a lot to cover. There are some things that are going around and have been for quite a while that talk about well, really, you should be fantasizing about others so that you bring that passion and steamy spiciness to the bedroom. And I want to talk about that I want to see, you know, kind of explore that, and the merits and the cons to such a way of being in marriage. And I want to talk about how you can proactively find ways to be attracted and be turned on by your man, the one that you fell in love with, however many years ago, how you can do that, even now. So let’s dive in.

2:03
Alright, well, let’s start with what I had said. In the beginning that probably either got you interested, intrigued or upset at me for even suggesting which I can understand. So what happened was, I watched a talk online that kind of got me interested because the woman’s title of her talk was monogamish, which she basically says monogamous relationships aren’t working because there’s a 50% divorce rate. And we’ve got to fix this. It’s a big problem. And so she what she says is that, you know, because there’s been, you know, so much issue, really, humans are not supposed to be monogamous. They’re supposed to? Well, I don’t know if she goes that far. But what she does say is that the answer is to look but not touch, essentially. So she says, You can flirt with anyone who you want to you can fantasize about anyone you want to. You can even talk each other about people you’d like to spend the night with. But you don’t actually do any of those things. That’s what she says the answer is. And as a Christian, obviously, my gut reaction is no, absolutely not that setting that’s, you know, lusting after the eyes that’s essentially committing adultery in your heart as Jesus talks about, but then in thinking about it from maybe a non religious perspective, if you think, Well, what about people that don’t believe the Bible? They’re not strictly trying to follow Jesus? I mean, is this a helpful thing for marriages? And the thing that’s hard to to grapple with is like, Well, the truth is, yeah, it would turn them on. So if someone is going throughout their day, you know, checking out everyone that they see and you know, just really being fully fully observant of every sexual cue that is around which, obviously, there’s plenty. And then he takes that passion and that desire, and he brings it to his wife and they make passionate love, but he might be thinking about the woman in the miniskirt that he, you know, checked out for a long time, you know, on his way home. So, so her point is that it’s actually strengthening your marriage because he’s only making love to you. And I think that her point is to make sure that you stay turned on in your marriage, that’s a really important thing, essentially, to have good sex in marriage is really important. And I agree with her. That’s huge. But the problem is, is that yeah, you might have a really, you know, turned on sex life. But the point of sex is to bring two selfish, lonely people, and glue them together, so that they can do God’s will in this world. And if you’re taking sex and making it selfish, as then this man is only thinking about his own desires, his own pleasures, his own fantasies, everything is about him, then sex doesn’t help.

5:52
So what what sex is intended to do is to bring you into this union is cherishing of each other of desire for each other and passion for each other. So when someone has to go to the hospital, the other one is there. When someone gets sick, the other one is there when when the baby cries all night, the other one says, It’s okay, honey, you go, rest, you take a nap, I’ll feed the baby tonight. Those are the kinds of things that a marriage requires when someone loses a job, and the other has to work six months to two jobs to pay for the rent. That’s called marriage. You know, this whole fantasizing about someone else, just so you get turned on, isn’t going to make you strong enough to keep those commitments. And that’s why fantasies pornography, mutual pornography, things that you permit in your marriage. I even have, unfortunately, as sad as it is, I have a Christian friend that thinks it’s okay that her husband watches pornography, because, you know, it doesn’t affect their marriage. Well, the thing is, it does, it does. Because sex is meant to be powerful. It’s meant to be life changing, transformational. It’s why our society is obsessed with it. And if you’re allowing that sexuality to be outside of your marriage, whether it’s fantasy, that’s that’s your mind going someplace that’s that’s that’s bringing that sexuality into yourself that is taking the sexual power outside of where it’s supposed to be. It’s, it’s it dissipates it all it just let it’s it kind of lets this power completely dissipate. It it’s almost like having this really powerful flame and just dousing it with water because the fire that supposed to be this huge, wonderful connection and strength and unification. It’s unifier it ends up becoming weaker. And it’s it’s not powerful, because it’s only about someone’s selfish desires. It’s not about actually loving and enjoying and embracing the other person. So that was 111 thing there is that, you know, as sadly, I think she’s very misguided. And the other thing is, she’s young, and she’s very beautiful. In all the ways and you know, what about when she gets wrinkles? And what about when she is saggy? And so and gains 20 pounds just because life happens. So is that now that her husband’s been flirting with every woman that he’s seen? So he’s going to just suddenly be like, Yeah, I still want to be with you. No, he’s going to be doing what he’s always done is compare her with every other woman he sees because he’s been free to check every woman out that he’s seen. And it it I mean, it’s not. Yes, it’s playing with fire. But that’s I don’t think that’s the worst of it. The worst? The worst of it is it’s just, it’s eroding. The most most important unification piece between a husband and a wife. It’s undermining its power. It’s undermining what it’s intended to be. So then the question is what what can you do to be turned on? So a lot of women turn to romance novels to get turned on to then go to their husband? And you know, I don’t know. I’ve heard that being a good thing. In certain ways that maybe there’s maybe there’s ways to input your husband’s name and certain things and, and make it a really exciting you know, visual all about your husband, and I’m sure there’s ways to do that. And I think those are good. But if it’s things that are causing you to fantasize about someone other than your husband, then then that that’s an issue. But the question is, how do you then get turned on by your husband? So I had this question from a wife, where she said that she’s never physically craved her husband sexually. So she called it a female erection. One time she did have it, and she didn’t realize what it would be like, and she just has wanted to get back there since then, and she doesn’t know why even happened or how and Sharon has a husband have been trying to replicate it and haven’t been able to. And

11:14
I think that when she says female erection, I think I’m trying to decide if I want to use this word on the podcast or not. I’m going to just say turned on. So when a wife is turned on, you know her, her labia majora minora start to swell with blood, she starts to become pink and wet lubricated on the inside. And those are the things that cause her to crave making love. And so, she, I believe, is talking about that experience. And, and the clitoris obviously, is a big part of that. And so the clitoris does extend. And it is it definitely could be called an erection. So I bet if you Googled it, there’d be plenty on female erection. So it’s kind of I mean, it’s the arousal state of a woman wanting to make love. And she’s saying that, you know, it happened once, but how do you? How do you have it happen again? I think I want to, I think I want to take a quick detour from this question. And ask you as a wife, if you have never had an orgasm before, I encourage you to do it. And you’re probably like, I have been trying for years. Don’t say that to me. I understand that feeling, because I’ve been there. But what I would encourage you to do is buy a simple vibrator, and just have the experience of an orgasm, so that you know that your body is capable of it. So that you kind of break the ice and feel the experience. All you have to do is have that experience. And then you can start to explore what your body is capable of. Because suddenly you started to realize, wow, my clitoris can feel amazing. Wow, I can have this really phenomenal rush of everything just flowing through my body in this like kind of incredible explosion and release throughout my whole body like that. How How does that happen? I would encourage you use a vibrator just once you don’t have to quote unquote get addicted to it. I know people are scared about that. Or they think that, you know penis in vagina is the only way to have an orgasm. And certainly that’s a way to have sexual pleasure. Absolutely. But the clitoris a lot of times is is a great, you know, outside pleasure making spot so you don’t have to, you know, husbands as sad as it is sometimes they think like, well, it’s unnatural to to to have manual stimulation on the clitoris. But the truth is that a lot of times, that’s what’s going to give her an orgasm. And so if you are going to ignore that part of her body, she is not going to enjoy sex any further than she already does. So let’s allow her to have some pleasure and actually enjoy this experience that she was born to receive. The human. The female clitoris has 8000 nerve endings, and that’s, I believe, I’m trying to remember. It might be it’s at least twice as much as what’s in the penis. The clitoris is solely for pleasure. There’s no other physical reason for it as far as we know. Whereas the penis it does some other things. So my point is that just have the experience of an orgasm. Just let yourself understand what that means. From there, you can start to explore and be like, Oh, now I know what it feels like when I’m getting close to having an orgasm. Now I understand, you know, start using your fingers, you can start learning how to manually stimulate yourself. And you can do that on your own. You know, the thing about women is like, you are so much, it’s so much easier to have an orgasm, just thinking about your husband than it is I think, while I’m guessing I have no idea than it is for men, because it’s just an easier task, if you are just focused.

15:46
So I just encourage you do the thing, just get the experience. And then from there, you can actually start to explore your body and actually understand how things happen and how things work. And so for this particular woman, I would encourage you to, to have that orgasm. And from there start to see, okay, this is how my body feels, this is what happens when I tip over the edge. This is how it feels when I’m getting close. This is how it feels when I get over the top. And so then you start to understand then that you start to see what the pattern can be like. And the way that a female would have an orgasm is it goes from very non stimulated to more stimulated. So you know, if you’re using a vibrator, you can start to feel if it’s getting too sensitive, that you’re getting too close to the area, it’s just too much. So you back off, you move a little bit further away, and then slowly kind of move closer and and that. And that’s a process where you start to understand your own body. So then in time, you can help your husband understand your body. Because right now, if you don’t understand your body, there’s no way you can teach him to understand your body. He’s probably trying his best. But if you can’t guide him because you don’t know it yourself. That’s a problem. So that’s the first step is have have the orgasm, find out what it is about your body that feels certain ways and why and how. Okay, so there’s that, let me kind of go back to how to get turned on by your husband in advance of making sex, making sex, making sex, having sex, making love all those things. This is probably going to be sound very non sexual. But hear me out. I will get there, I promise. There’s something called Strengths Finder. I love this test. So I am a big fan of personality tests. Myers Briggs, I like a lot. And the other test I learned about recently is the INIA gram, I really liked that. But this particular test is, I want to say it’s definitely under $20. Online, but it is so worth it. And what ultimately happens is you take this, this personality test kind of thing. And what it does is identifies your top five strengths, have a list of 34 strengths. And what it does is it helps you to see that you have specific strengths that other people find hard, that it’s not easy for them. And they have strengths that other people find hard. And it’s not easy for other people, but it’s it’s a strength for them. And so what I’m going to do is there’s 34 of them, I’m going to list them out to you. And here’s what I want you to do. I want you to think just just first first, first read through just think what your strengths might be. So I’m going to list them out. achiever, activator, adaptability, analytical arranger. Belief, command, communication, competition, connectedness, consistency, contact context, deliberative, developer, discipline, empathy, focus, futuristic harmony, ideation, include or individualization inputs intellection, learner Maximizer positivity relator responsibility, restorative, self assurance, significance, strategic, and whoo. So some of these are not self explanatory, you might have been wondering what in the world they meant, which is totally fine, I would encourage you to take the test. And I would encourage you to go online and go to strengths finder.com. And you can,

20:32
you can understand, you can have the description of each one of these. And then if, if any particular ones stuck out to you, you could go ahead and read the description. And without even taking the test, you’d probably learn a lot about yourself. The reason I listed those out, is because if you think about your strengths as being special to you, then you also have weaknesses that are special to you, that you don’t have every strength in the book. This is actually by Gallup, which is a very what’s the word just, they they do lots and lots of business studies. So this is based on a lot of studies. And this is what they determined were the top, you know, really the 34 strengths that people have not only in business, but in in all aspects of life. And so these strengths that you either were born with, that God gave you, or, and or they just developed over time, maybe that was something that you valued, and you developed it. And it was also maybe a natural inclination, or maybe it was because your parents did that way. And so you just kind of followed in their footsteps. However, ways, whatever ways you got to be the way that you are, that is your strength, and you don’t have to feel like you are in competition with someone else. Because the beauty is you have a different strength and skill set, you have different strengths than they do and you bring something unique and important. I say all of that, because the same is true of your husband, he has strengths that you don’t have, he has particular areas that he excels that he is good at, that you don’t have, and other people don’t have. And so when you focus on the really amazing things about your husband, and you stop looking at his weaknesses, you are going to begin to respect him more, and begin to love Him more. In a very not just, you know, love, love, like a wife should love her husband, but even in an erotic love. Because you’re like, wow, my husband is really good at this, whatever it is. So what you want to do is begin to acknowledge strengths of your husband, what are they what are specific things he is so good at. And maybe you’ve come from a season of really not being able to see a single strength in him at all. Maybe Maybe you’ve guys have been on some really rough patches, and maybe he’s got, you know, some real tough things he’s been going through and all you can see are his weaknesses, you can just see that he’s a failure and making mistakes, and he’s not doing anything to get himself out of that hole. And you know, he should be doing all these things that are easy for you. And certainly, maybe he all of your thoughts that way are valid. But is it helping anything? Are those thoughts that focus on the negativity? And his his weaknesses? Is that helping you? Is it helping your marriage? Is it helping him? It’s not. And so the way to change that is to start focusing on his strengths? What are the things that are amazing about him? Only him? What are the things that when you were dating, those are the only things that you could see those rose colored glasses that you could see only the good.

24:31
I would encourage you to look through this strengths list. Is he an achiever? You know, is he super competitive where he just you know wants to to really achieve and get things accomplished? You know, maybe he’s, he’s rushing to get things done all the time, and that bothers you. But then maybe it’s because that’s his personality gets a ton of stuff done and that’s his strength, and it doesn’t mean that you have to compete with him. It just means you have to adore him and acknowledged Chairman, I see you, honey, that was awesome. You just got 18 things done today. And I have just really enjoyed relaxing on the porch drinking my iced tea. I mean, the thing is, you are in a marriage and you are not in a competition. Your Strengths are not the same as his but your your task as a marriage is a partnership is to acknowledge and support, and love and encourage each other strengths. I tell you, one thing that’s really wonderful about my marriage is I feel more of myself than I ever have, in my whole life. I feel completely loved for being me. Like, I don’t feel like I have to put up a front. You know, certainly there are times where I do something, you know, embarrassing. And I feel like I have to put put up a front at that time until finally comes out. And I talk about how I accidentally ate too much of this, or I, you know, did something silly here and I embarrassed myself there, whatever. And yeah, I have those times with my husband. But at the whole, like, I feel just so free to be me. And I feel loved because of who I am and, and my husband is proud of me on the things that I’m good at. And he he doesn’t feel in competition. But the reason is not because my husband is the most amazing man in the entire universe, even though that is true, because he is my husband. But the point is your husband is too. The way that it happens is all I do all the time, is I just talked to him about how amazing I think he is. How are we so sexy how his body is incredible how these characteristics that I see in him are amazing, you know, some of the things my husband does that I love about him. And in fact, I don’t want to tell them to you. Because then you might be comparing your husband and my husband, and that’s not going to help. Instead focus on your husband, who is he? Who has God made him to be? And how can you adore those things in him and just consistently talk to him about these things, the things that God sees in him, you are God’s

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hands in his life, you are loving your husband, the way that God does, how can God love him through you. So be thinking about the amazing aspects of your husband. And again, you know, sometimes these wonderful strengths also kind of turn their ugly head in ways but so they don’t seem like a strength. I was talking to someone not too long ago, and she was telling me a situation about her husband, and he got really frustrated about something that was very specific, he wanted a certain way. Though he had never communicated it previously, that he needed this. So specifically accomplished that way. And he just got very upset and angry at her and you know, called her an idiot and those kinds of things. And, you know, we started talking about it, and when you flip the situation to be thinking about Wow, your husband is very detail oriented. He is very detail oriented, he likes things a certain way. You know, maybe his strength is what you would see on here, probably as the arranger, maybe he really likes to have things a certain way. He likes him to be organized. And you know, that’s actually a huge strength. Think about in at, you know, events, you know, you’re at a potluck or something, if there’s no arranger around, the tables are a complete mess, and everyone’s uncomfortable because everything is is gross, because there’s no one making things nice and neat and tidy. You know, that’s an example. But there’s a ton of examples where an arranger is needed, you know, what about in specific work scenarios where you need someone who’s going to be detail oriented and going to have things organized and orderly. Right. So sure, in that situation, he probably doesn’t even realize his strength. And if he realized it was a strength, he might see it that other people don’t have that strength. And he’s the one that can fill in the gap for someone else. So I encouraged her, you know, the next time something like that happens, you could be like, Wow, honey, you are so detail oriented. I’m really grateful that you you know, see that there’s you have kind of a vision of how you want this to work out I’m, I’m happy to you know, let you go ahead and do what you feel you need to do in this situation or You know, whatever you think, honey, go for it. Because essentially, it’s not. It’s not that when we don’t I understand that we have strengths and other people have strengths and they’re different. We really, we think that we think we’re right all the time, we think we’re the only ones. So let me kind of circle back to why this turns you on. Because if you are focused on the amazing things about your husband, it will begin to turn you on in an erotic way, when you start to see wow, my husband is so good at this. It’s an amazing, it begins to be a really amazing thing. But let me also go into scenarios that you can make things more. More spicy, that was a little more intellectual than more practical, but let me let me give you some practical things. So when you’re walking down the street with your husband, there’s really great things you can say to each other. I’ve got a ton of them in my selection course. So I encourage you to check that out. You can go to delight your marriage.com/and just click on Resources. And the seduction course is the one to to check out. I’ve got a ton of examples. But there’s definitely start using language to turn each other on that is a big one, just start talking about your future lovemaking. Talk about the past, love making things that you’ve done, get excited, give him words about his body that you can’t wait to do. Those are things that yeah, get him excited, but they also get you excited, they start making you think about things where you normally might not be thinking at all, but when you have the motivation that he’s going to like it, suddenly you’ve got some motivation to do it yourself.

32:01
The other thing is to be in public places, where you have a chance to kind of be far away from your husband, and to look at him maybe across the room. That is a really special because you get a chance to really check out your husband in ways that you probably haven’t done in a long time, because you’ve been so focused on so many other things, you probably haven’t just checked him out in a sexual way of like, wow, his chest is really sexy, or Wow, those shoulders sit in a way that is just the most attractive thing I’ve ever seen. Or, you know, oh my gosh, the way his you know, forehead is set or you know, the his legs, you can just start, you know, looking at your husband in all the sexual sexually exciting ways that you always have, maybe years ago, but you know, how can you bring those back to your memory, and really spend time checking out your husband? You know, I started the conversation with when you allow yourself to check other people out. It kind of makes your mind go in that direction. But if you’re checking your husband out, your mind is going in the direction of being more attracted to your spouse, expect to be turned on by him. That’s another point is expect to be turned on by him expect him to get you excited, because the thing is, he is the male body, you are the female body. I like the idea that tantric sex has with this yin and yang kind of thing of like it really, all all the other stuff doesn’t matter. The fact that God made him a male and made you a female means you’re attracted, and you’re married, and you’ve had chemistry and you’ve maybe had babies and you’ve had a lot of sex already. But I You are attracted to each other just magnetically you know. So don’t feel like oh, well this is you know too far gone. No expect that it’s going to return it will. Another thing that really great segue into it is to have faith that you will sexually crave your husband. Maybe this doesn’t sound like something you have thought about before. But God wants you to be making love to your husband. This is something he designed. And again, your your wonderful father in heaven designed your clitoris Believe it or not. God did he designed that precious ReSSA to receive pleasure. And remember I call everything every beautiful lady part between your legs. I call that Your recipe because that’s where you receive Him into your essence. I think it’s a much more beautiful term than most of those out there to describe that area. So, but but God designed your recipe he designed it to be beautiful and wonderful and to be cherished, but expect that it will crave your husband’s member expect that it will fill up with blood, expect that when he touches you and and grazes your back and grazes your arms in caresses you gently and caresses the exterior of your breasts very gently and, and slowly kind of comes further and there’s long foreplay and all these kinds of things, expect it to happen. And let yourself go and just breathe and be in the moment. And don’t try to force anything and just breathe and expect it to be an amazing experience. Have faith that it’s just going to happen. And it’s not something you’ve got to strive for, to have faith about. It’s just relax into it. Release yourself into it. Another thing I want to say about that is affirmations. Now, if you have been had any time with this wonderful dy M podcast, I’m sure you have heard me talk about affirmations. But I am telling you do your affirmations.

36:25
One of my favorites is to say, you know my body sexually craves my husband, we have an amazing sex life. I love to make love to my husband. He has a fantastic lover. I mean, these are the kinds of things if you are saying to yourself, and it allows you to start believing it. And I don’t mean just saying it to yourself in your head. I do mean physically saying out loud. My body craves my husband, my ReSSA enjoys when he comes inside. I mean these are the kinds of things I want you to be saying to yourself so that it does happen. Apply your faith interrupt your your fearful thoughts by speaking out faith filled words, affirmations. I also really love this this quote that I’ve talked about a few times on the podcast too, but I want to just bring it back into this conversation by Joyce Penner who was on the the podcast a while ago. She said men get turned on by what they see. But a woman gets turned on by how she feels about her body. And I think that’s really good. Because in a world that’s obsessed with sex and with looking beautiful for sex, I guess. Women, if we are not feeling good about our bodies, we’re not feeling sexy. And it’s really hard if we’re not feeling sexy, to actually get physically turned on. Because we’re almost running away from it, we’re scared to want to make love because that means our rolls are going to be showing or you know, our belly is going to be jiggling or you know whatever thing we’re nervous about. But when you begin to to value fully your body and understand that it is God’s masterpiece. If you haven’t heard my body series, I would encourage you to flip back a few episodes and just go through one by one the whole body series because I really spend a lot of time for you dear wife, on how to move from a place of negative body image and a lot of negativity around your body and move into a place that’s pleasure and fun and freedom in your body. But, but do things that make you feel good in your body, start exercising, and I don’t mean exercise because you need to lose weight. Really I don’t. That is not even why I exercise I exercise because of how it makes me feel in my mind and how I feel physically about my body like it just one day I exercise. One day I don’t the day that I exercise. I feel sexy. Even if it was two days in a row one was exercising one wasn’t the day that I exercised, I felt sexy. It doesn’t mean that I lost any weight. Because it has nothing to do with that. It’s my feelings. It’s the way that I feel in my body is the it’s the endorphins that are released. Start making exercise a priority. That’s an important thing. Just get yourself to do something to move to start breathing to put your shoulders back to feel good about your body to start feeling sexy. You know, there’s plenty of other things that I always suggest about dancing, for example, makes you start to feel more sexy. But get yourself to feel sexy, and continue to get yourself to be turned on that way. So yeah, I think I think I want to sum up and just say that yes, being turned by and turned on by your husband is important. And the answer is you can be turned on by your husband. assume it’s going to happen, expect it to happen. expect yourself to let your mind wander on sex, on to sex with him to be thinking about it. There’s more I’m gonna say probably in a in a future podcast about

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about this topic, but I wanted to kind of just start by, by talking about the answer is not to fantasize about other people. It’s to direct your fantasies towards your husband. And those are great things, that’s another thing you can be doing in your in your marriage is to start fantasizing about your man, like things that you want them to do to you and ways that you know, maybe some adventure, some sexual things you want to do together. Those are great things to start, you know, introducing more ways to turn yourself on. But don’t, don’t let the lies of the enemy to say that introducing others into your sexual union is a good thing. Because it is a lie, and it is not going to produce good fruit. In your marriage, what it’s going to do is tear tear at the roots. So um, so yeah, I think you’ve got a good amount of takeaways, I hope that you will go ahead and check out the strengths finder. And really focus in on what your husband’s strengths are, and really just just compliment like crazy, not just to make him feel good, but also for you to just start really recognizing how amazing your husband is. Because God made him amazing. There’s no question. You might be wondering like, well, you don’t know my husband. But the answer is I, I don’t have to God made your husband. God doesn’t make trash. He doesn’t make mistakes. God made your husband and I encourage you to start to believe that you’re the only woman that gets to love him like that, to get to notice all of that special stuff, all of it, every little detail of your husband, that’s only up to you to notice and appreciate. And I encourage you to do that. Even things that you’re like, Well, I don’t, you know, I’m not into that. Whatever aspect of his body or who he is, or whatever, but you know, maybe maybe you should be maybe that maybe you shouldn’t be into that because that’s your husband. Well, I hope this makes sense. I hope that you’ve gotten some really good nuggets to begin to implement into your sex life to focus on all the things that turn you on and start to explore your body. Have an orgasm, if you’ve never had one. Oh, link up a a specific vibrator. It’s actually kind of funny. It’s not a real vibrator. What it is, is a facial cleansing vibrator. I’ll just send it I’ll just have a link to the thing. It’s gonna look kind of funny, but you take off the the top of the facial cleansing thing, and it’s just this like, it’s essentially a vibrator. And I’ll, I’ll just send you a link. Anyway, so um, so yeah, have an orgasm. And, and watch your husband. I just actually got back from a soccer game my husband was playing was just a pickup game in the park and gosh, I just spent time watching him. It was so sexy to watch him run and get the ball and, you know, make a shot and pass the ball and just him being so focused. I was just like blown away about how sexy he is. The other thing that really turns me on is when I see him at church, and when I see him pray or, or worship and I’m just like blown away that I get to be with this man that loves Jesus and cares about people. The other thing is when I see him do physical labor, you know, he really loves helping people move. And that really turns me on because he’s such an amazing giver and is kind to others and he wants to support them and, and just to see him sweat and you know, pick up things that are heavy. And, you know, another thing that turns me on is when he grabs my bag, so I don’t have to carry it. And he’s like, Yeah, babe, let me get that for you. You know, when I see him with the kids, and I see him at the park, and I was walking home from work or whatever, and I, I just get to check him out while he’s standing there, you know, playing with the kids or watching the kids or whatever. And it’s just

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like, just watch your husband with the expectation that he’s amazing that you are thrilled by who he is how he looks. what’s in his heart, like what God is doing in him? No, no one’s perfect. But you can either focus on the weaknesses or you can focus on the strengths. And the strengths are what’s going to make you happy, make you both happy, it’s going to turn you on it’s going to make a better sex life and a better marriage. Alright, well God bless you. And thanks so much for joining today and I will talk to you soon.

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Thanks for listening, stopped by delight your marriage.com to check out all the show notes as well as many more resources and articles. Until next time, live with love, wisdom impassion