212-The 3 ways to change a controlling wife

Sexless + Controlling = miserable husband

Sex-Full + Controlling = miserable husband

Sexless + Non Controlling = miserable husband

Sadly, sexless or controlling or both are the biggest problems I see. And this is what I hear from husbands that are desperate for change. I want to help you!

JFYI My husband said this is one of the best podcasts ever—he has only said that 1 other time (!) so I hope this is one that is helpful for you.

I talk about foundational truths about men and women that I don’t hear people shouting from the rooftops—but they should be! Learn how to strategically change what is going on in your marriage!

Sadly, sexless or controlling or both are the biggest problems I see. And this is what I hear from husbands that I work with. I want to help you!

Come on my free webinar TOMORROW, Friday, May 24, 2019 at 7:30pm EST:

The 7 Blocks to Her Libido: Remove these for generous intimacy in your marriage

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I used to be a CONTROLLING wife. And there was a ton of tension. He was miserable and so was I. I didn’t like who my husband was. He didn’t like me either.

When I changed, my husband’s joy, the best parts of who he is returned and improved! He’s now the most amazing man I’ve ever met. Seriously. And I’m happier than I could ever have imagined.

What can you do as a husband? A LOT! Here are 3 keys that you can change things in your relationship!

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Here are the resources I chat about:

Discover her strengths: www.delightyourmarriage.com/strengths

Free webinar:

The 7 Blocks to Her Libido: Remove these for generous intimacy in your marriage

transcript

0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host, belah rose. Hello,

0:18
hello, and welcome. Welcome, I am so excited that you have joined me, my name is belah rose. And this is a podcast where I seek to give you the tools to have an incredible marriage. And it’s truly an opportunity and a gift, and a privilege that I have the ability to speak to you. And I’m praying for this conversation to truly be life changing for you, dear husband, I want to start out by just saying, I have been the controlling wife. shocking as it may be, I have been extremely controlling to my husband. And we were miserable as a result. So before I dive into, truly what I feel are the three keys that can transform your marriage, regardless of how broken and stifling and exhausting it feels right now. And so before I dive into that, though, I’m really excited. And I want to invite you on a live and free webinar that I’m having this Friday. So I’m releasing this podcast Thursday. So tomorrow, you need to sign up WWW dot delight your marriage.com/seven blocks, that’s the number seven B loc K s. And that’s what I’m talking about the seven blocks to her libido. So what has been causing her to have a low drive all these years, you know, what mistakes might you be making that has actually been blocking her from having the libido that she really can have? You know, what are the things then that you proactive Lily can do, because the men that listen to my podcast, they are action takers, and they want to learn how to make things better. And I know because you all reach out to me, I’m proud of you. I think you’re awesome. And these are the keys that I see most often missed by husbands. I work with husbands, I work with wives, these are the things I wish they knew to really stop the misery, the pain, the loneliness that they have felt because of the lack of intimacy. So come on the webinar. Again, it’s free, it’s this Friday, go ahead and sign up, you can sign up at www dot delight your marriage.com/the number seven, BL o CK s. And I really look forward to seeing you there. There’s a limited space of the amount of attendees so make sure that you jump on the call a little early, have a notebook and pen ready because we are going to dive into some really life changing stuff. In the past I’ve had webinars and by God’s grace, even years later, people have said that was the catalyst to change things. So it is the time. I’ll see you tomorrow. Let’s go ahead and dive in on how to change a controlling wife and the three keys that I think are truly going to be game changers for you.

3:43
Okay, so starting off, I wanted to tell you about my Mother’s Day. So we actually ended up scheduling or my husband scheduled a surprise for me the weekend after Mother’s Day. So he was amazing. And went ahead and got our kids with the in laws over the weekend. So we had Friday into late Saturday, just for the two of us. So I guess it was like, well, it’s Friday, late afternoon till Saturday. So what we did was pretty amazing. We went first of all, he told me where to meet him. And you know, we live in New York City. So he told me to meet him in Time Square, which on a beautiful Friday afternoon the weather was perfect. meant that there were like, probably a million people in Time Square. It was kind of insane. But it was pretty funny that he had me meet him in a particular spot that was also very crowded, but there was music going on and he came up to me and was like, I just saw you over here and you looked so beautiful and I I wanted to introduce myself. So part of the thing that I love doing, we do this only every now and then. But when we do it, it’s really special for me. So men keep, keep a close ear, because this may be what your wife would really love to. But essentially, we start out by pretending that we are strangers. And the husband really has to romance the woman. And we leave our wedding rings at home. And it’s pretty fun. So anyway, so he chatted me up and gave me plenty of compliments. And it was just great. It was so fun. And so then there was street dancers, which again, happens a lot in New York, which is really fun. And so I was like, so I actually really love to dance. Mind if I kind of move around? And oh, that’s what I said. I said, I actually really love to dance. And he was like, Oh, I’d love to see you dance. And so he doesn’t like to dance. But I did. So I kind of danced a little bit with him, even though he was standing still. But he enjoyed me dancing. So that was fun. And anyway, he was like, so I actually was going to go have dinner, would you like to come? Turns out, I felt safe enough that I was going to go with a stranger to dinner. So I went with him. And we had dinner and a much more quiet spot. We took the train a little bit further in did that. And then I invited me to go to the next place that he had on the on the schedule. And I actually thought we were going to go see a movie that I had wanted to see. We rarely rarely see movies in theaters just I don’t. I’m just not interested in seeing most movies that come out. But he had I had thought that we were gonna see this movie that I really wanted to see. And because he had been dropping hints about it for so long, so I was just like, sure that’s what we were gonna do. Anyway, turns out we did not do that. And he surprised me. And we went bowling instead. And it was so fun. Because like I said, I like to dance. And it was like this bowling alley that had really great music. And it was perfect because I could dance and bowl and oh, so fun. Anyway, so that’s what we did. That night. The next day. We had a wonderful morning, and then we went to brunch together. And it was ended up being probably we got to the brunch place at eight. Before they even opened brunch. We really, we had to have like, one of their, like coffee shop pastries before they actually opened the the brunch menu. So we had coffee and a pastry and then we just kept talking and then had wonderful, just delicious. I can’t even remember what I ate. What was it? It was like baked artichokes and spinach and eggs. It was baked eggs. That’s what it was. Artichoke is but it was delicious. Anyway, so we were just talking, I think we were there for four or five hours. It was awesome. Then we went walking in the park and and then I took a nap because I was very tired. And because no kids I could take a nap. Anyway, it was such a wonderful Mother’s Day. And one of the things we were talking about in our conversation was my husband was like

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we were talking about how I had changed as a woman over these years of us being together knowing each other and just over the years. And he said to me well, one thing that, you know, kind of throughout the conversation, one thing that actually made my eyes kind of tear up was I looked at him and I was like, you know, I’m just so grateful that you gave me the grace to change. Over these years you have allowed me to change. And I feel like the reason is, you have always seen me as better than I saw myself. I’ve never felt like I was in this box of having to be the woman that I was yesterday. I felt like you were willing to let me change. And it was so powerful for him to have that perspective of me. He never you know later rolled his eyes of Lego Well, I told you so or you’re this way you’ll always be this way. Never Never and I guess that may be something to take away your husband. If you’re listening to this Don’t Don’t put your wife in a box and don’t don’t feel like she can’t change because she can. And here’s a perfect example. When I said at the outset of this podcast episode, I was the controlling wife. And he even told me that one of the biggest changes that I’ve made, is how I used to be controlling. And he even gave me an example of when we went to my cousin’s wedding, now my cousin is extremely well to do. She’s grown up in a household that has absolutely taught her all the bit of politeness and manners and all that. And then she married a husband, who is also extremely well to do, and both of them have hearts of gold, but they absolutely understand what manners looks like. And this wedding was unbelievable. And so when my husband and I were there, I kind of felt like, you know, he needed to make a good impression, I needed to make a good impression. And my husband’s much more reserved than me, he’s much quieter than me. And he’s such an amazing man, that I want people to know him I want, you know, people to understand why I’m with him, you know, because he’s so incredible. So I in that wedding situation, I would, I think I even, and he told me this. So I know, it’s true, I think I physically, like pushed him into conversations that he didn’t want to be in. Like, it’s, it’s a shaming, like, I’m ashamed to even admit it, but it’s true. I was not allowing him to be who he is, and give him the freedom of just like, I respect you, honey, you do whatever the heck you want to do in this wedding, and I’m gonna make myself happy too. And if I want to go interact with the well to do folks that I feel like I need to go chat with, then I’ll do that. Or I’ll spend time just with you. Or I’ll just give you a beer and let you sit off in the corner and do whatever you want to do, you know, or you can go sit out by the car, and you don’t even have to be interacting at all. And, anyway, and but that was my mindset was I was too concerned with with the way others would judge me or judge us. I was concerned with how I was fitting in. And it was this fear of whether or not people were judging me, because my husband wasn’t interacting or wasn’t willing to speak or wasn’t willing to, you know, jump in the conversation and tell jokes and stories like everyone else was. So that was kind of the way I was that’s just one example, oh my gosh, I would call him out. When he would share stories, I would interrupt him and correct him on facts. And I was like, What’s the point of talking, if when you do start your wife interrupts you, and it tells you what the real story or tells you the real facts. You know, that’s not encouraging you to share open up, just as one other example. But I mean, it was constant. I was a controlling wife. I didn’t like how, you know how he did certain things. And I felt like I did it better. And so I was the one that made sure we didn’t get lost. When we were going somewhere. I was the one that

13:31
made sure all the bills were being paid, because I knew he couldn’t figure out x, y and z. And, and it was all on my shoulders. I ended up being extremely stressed and angry at him. And I felt like he wasn’t able to do anything. And it was so much tension between us that I couldn’t I just couldn’t figure out where were we going wrong. Because the sex thing was in place, we had that figured out that was fine for us. Which most of the time controlling wives don’t have that part in place. So we were still having a good marriage in a lot of ways. But this tension would not end and I was just like, did I marry the wrong guy? I mean, should I have married someone who clearly was, you know, the strong leader who, you know, was everything that I am and more. And those were things that literally went through my head, which is awful to think but I’m saying that because I want you to know, are those things that are going through your head? Is that a concern that you have and I want to give you hope that no you didn’t you chose the right partner. You chose the partner that you should have and you chose them. So now take responsibility and do everything you can so that it can change. And once again, this is my work is to transform couples and dynamics and transform what they have gone through. So let me just talk about how you, as a husband can transform things in your marriage, because I don’t want you to feel like you’re a victim anymore. You are not a victim to this life or to your marriage, you can make changes, big, big changes. So let’s talk about why a wife is controlling this is the first key is for you to understand and discover the fears beneath the control. What is beneath the accusations, the criticism, this is the disrespect, what is beneath that, to start to get curious about what is going on, rather than reactive about those accusations, the control the criticism, the disrespect, what is going on. So let’s talk about the causes. First of all, she’s been disappointed by you by others, or she’s had bad role modeling. And now you’re taking the hit. So ultimately, that equals fear. She’s scared that her needs are not going to be met. Now, husband, if you haven’t yet taken out a notebook and a journal to start jotting these things down, I want you to because this is really important. And if you really want your marriage to change, you’ve got to really invest in making it change. You can’t just consume something and be like, Okay, I got some more knowledge, I’ll you know, maybe this will come up in my head sometime later. Like you actually have to enact a strategy and actually do the work if you want it to change. So feel free to listen to this podcast again, with your notebook and your pen and actually do the work. I work with men that literally after we do our teachings every week, he re reads all of the notes every single week, to make sure they’re fresh in his mind, and he’s actually doing them and I got to tell you, his results are fantastic. So do the work. And you’ll get the results. So again, she’s scared that her needs won’t be met. What are her needs as a wife, her needs are to be cherished, are to be known and to be safe.

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What do I mean by cherished she wants to be romanced to be wooed and not be taken for granted. She wants to be that woman that was dated by you. She loved that woman that received that, you know, opening the car door and carrying her bag for her and just wooing her in every sense of the word word, taking her on surprise dates, giving her flowers, what were who you were you when you guys were dating, who is that romantic man that she fell in love with. That’s what she wants to be cherished number one. Number two, she wants to be known. She’s a 21st Century woman, she wants to be known for being capable for being having strengths for having the ability to have a really great whether it’s career or capacity as a mother, or a capacity as a incredible volunteer or credible ministry leader. She wants to be known she wants that she wants to recognize that you know, her and her amazing strengths. And in a similar way, you know, this, this bleeds into other things as well like it, she wants others to know that she understands cultural norms and she understands that the home should look a certain way or that, you know, her career should be a certain way or that the reputation of her for her family should look a certain way or be a certain way or you know that she has this ideal of perfection that you know that she understands and so she she can make her life look that perfect way that she wants it to look so those that’s all kind of similar in this being known thing not just by you, but by others what, what are her high standards, she wants those high standards to be enacted in her life. So when you’re not meeting those things, right, that’s her fear coming up and then she’s controlling and telling you what to do and accusing you for not meeting her standards. Right. So that’s being known and third one is being safe. So every time you exert your right to respect which as a husband, you know your need is to be respected is to not be seen as weak. And for sexual intimacy. That’s that’s those are your needs as a husband to feel fulfilled. But when you exert your rights for those things, you undermine her feelings of safety. which separates her which which undermines her ability to then give up control. Because fear, think about it, when you are afraid you grab on tighter. But when you’re, when you’re not afraid, you loosen the reins, you start to open up, you start to relax, you start to surrender to the recognition that you’re safe, you’re going to be held that he’s Gotcha. You don’t have to hold on for your life, because you’re not doing this by yourself, you can trust. So that safety, what are some things she’s scared about? She’s probably scared about money. So if she’s controlling in your career and your job in the details of what you’re going through at work, she probably just scared about her own livelihood, are you going to take care of the family? Are you going to make sure that this is important to you? You know, maybe she’s very controlling around the kids. Like that’s something she’s scared about whether or not you care about her kids the way that she does, whether he or not, whether or not, you’re going to take care of them. You know, maybe she’s scared more about you the family’s reputation, you know, the kids got to have clean clothes, and the right shoes and all this kind of stuff. And maybe that’s around really being scared that she’s going to be expelled from the community of whomever she wants to be included. With, you know, maybe it’s her fear of being criticized or gossiped behind their her back, you know, maybe there’s this fear around reputation. And then what about sex? You know, what if, you know, why is sex, something that is such a, you know, maybe she’s controlling around that she doesn’t? She withholds that. Well, that’s around safety, if she threatened by sex, you know, here are the fears that might be involved with her is, are you a jerk? Like the rest of society is? who just wants sex, you know, wants women for their bodies, abuses women, uses women for sex, that’s all they are to him?

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Or are you going to take advantage of her like those in the past? And she’s just decided, no, it’s not happening. I have been gotten married. This is, this is not happening. I’m not going to be taken advantage of, or do you understand that there’s a lot of sex stuff that sin, maybe you don’t realize the breadth of sin that’s out there. And maybe you’re going to walk into it? And we’re going to, you know, there’s there’s fears around that? Or maybe there’s a fear around you know, do you see her as beautiful or just one of the women you’ve had experience with in the past and just so you know, pornography feels for her like you’ve had a sexual experience with her and the truth is you have that’s not God’s plan for us as people to to have any kind of sexual experience with anyone else. So that’s a fear of hers is Are You Experienced her sexuality as you did? Or are you looking at her as someone in the past so that was the first key is discover the fears beneath the accusations control, criticisms, disrespect, kind of put your sleuth hat on, put your hat of curiosity on to say what is going on underneath the accusations, the control the criticism, there’s disrespect. She’s scared that her needs won’t be met, cherished, known and being safe. The next thing, the next key is to discover her strengths. You want to open her up, you want her to become receptive, you want her to soften, because a controlling woman is not soft, and you and I both know that she is not soft. You want her to soften. So again, you want to be consistently letting her feel cherished, known and safe. So you want to transform the culture of your marriage. In terms of being known. You don’t want a competition anymore. You want her to know that you know who she is. And it’s not a competition with who you are. So discover her strengths, discover what makes her unique and capable and awesome. Who is she as a woman as a person? That is amazing, outside of her body, just so you know, outside of her body. She wants her personhood to be valued. So, if you’re not familiar yet, with Strengths Finder, it’s an incredible, incredible tool and resource for you to look through every single strength. Just a very brief description. and see who your wife is, and then start to give her compliments based on the strengths you know that she has. And that she is. So you can look in the show notes of this podcast, and I’m going to have a PDF there where you can truly discover her strengths, you can go to www dot delight your marriage.com/strengths. And you’ll be able to download that PDF. So just look at that, and discover what’s hers, what are the things that she is strong at, and they give her three compliments a day in the direction that you want her to go. So if you see her as someone that is really amazing at listening, or a really amazing at having empathy are really amazing at you know, being a great person of faith, these are things that you can compliment her on, and continue to compliment her in the direction you want her to go. Don’t don’t compliment her in the controlling aspects. Because that’s not the direction you want her to go. Compliment her in the ways that she is trusting and compliment her in the ways of Thank you babe

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for, you know, letting me pay for that thing that I don’t know, it made me feel like I was dating you again that I got to do something special for you. You want to just be complimenting her in the direction you want her to go. And of course I talk about far more about this in my work with them in that I do. But remind her of why you fell in love with her. That’s a key thing that you can do over and over and over again. In not and these are not sarcastic ways. These are genuine ways. These are not ways that are going to make her feel like Oh, I’m not that woman anymore. You want to just have very subtle ways of just helping her to know that you love her. You know, reminding her of those things. I remember one time I spoke to a couple years ago, and the husband had in past I remember, I can’t remember why. But I heard him say something like, you know, that was the reason one of the reasons I fell in love with my wife is because of her beautiful singing voice. And I remember I met his wife a month or two later. And I told her that and I could see this expression of surprise, but also pride that her husband would speak of her that way to a stranger, essentially, or I didn’t know her husband very well. So it made her feel really special. And so those kinds of things, you don’t know how far it goes. But that is again what’s going to soften her and allow her to become receptive to transformation. And in a similar way, you want to give her two delights every week. So I’m trying to be very practical here three compliments a day in two delights every week. And I mean, giving her flowers I mean thinking about her and picking up some you know favorite food at the grocery store. I mean taking her out on a special date, any kind of date um even tiny things but also big things to to likes every week just shows that you cherish her you are not taking her for granted like maybe you clean up the the house for her you get a house cleaner for or something to show that you don’t take her for granted you cherish her. Okay, so the third key is listen, listen, listen. Here is where you put it all to the test. Does she really believe that you cherish no and she’s truly safe. You listen to her, you prove to her that you understand her? And what she says matters to you. And let me tell you the power of listening. You might be like oh come on Bella. That was the key. Are you kidding me? Listen closely, my dear husband, because let me tell you how important listening is you can a defuse an argument B you can move something from tension to peace. C you can redirect a conversation entirely. D you can make someone feel hurt. Ie you can make someone feel valued and loved. If you can make help someone sort through the confusion in their own minds. Gee, you can make someone feel respected. Ah, you can help someone not feel lonely anymore. I you can heal a hurt Jay, you can ignore The emotional, non true attacks, and, quote, move the ball forward. I say move the ball forward a lot in my coaching, because it’s really important for all of us to understand in our marriages that we are either moving the ball forward, or we’re throwing it in the woods, and who knows what else. But move the ball forward, you know, don’t respond to an emotional, non true attack. But instead, listen, and move the ball forward.

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So here’s how to do it, I want to be very clear, you want to listen, you want to give her your full attention, don’t ignore her, resist that urge, if she has controlled for a very long time, or even just the last year of your marriage, you know, you thought you shockingly, she turned into this controlling monster. Don’t ignore her, it will make it worse. What are you going to do to finally transformed this? Here is the key. It’s a very this is like, this is gold right here. So I hope you’re writing these things down, use a tool called reflective listening. Now, when I teach this to my men, they’re like, you know, shocked at the dramatic effect, they first of all, think it’s very weird and unnatural. But then when they start using it, they are blown away with how effective it is. And it’s extremely, extremely effective. So you use reflective listening, when you’re dealing with strong emotions, whether they’re positive or negative, against you or someone else. So this is going to be extremely helpful for her to feel, again, receptive and open and softened, to transform. But you’re also going to use that to actually change her from being controlling. And again, you’re thinking about moving the ball forward, what’s going to get to the end game, what’s going to move the ball to the next side of the field. So let’s say she’s saying something that actually has a lot of controlling nature to it. And I’m going to give you a specific example. But the way you do it is you essentially repeat it back to her. And what this does is it gives her the opportunity to maybe extend her conversation, extend what she’s feeling, disagree, and say that’s not what she said, or even what she meant. Maybe she did say that exactly, but maybe she meant something else by it. But let me give you an example. So first of all, this is what I call the investment conversation. So the goal here is to one show that you understand and to, to to withhold your need, and right to be respected as a man. Okay, you’re going to withhold that again. How are we moving the ball forward? This is the investment conversation. So here’s the example. Her go take the kids to practice. You take the kids to practice her. Yeah, and you better be on time. You. You want me to be on time? Yeah. You’re always late. You, I’m always late. Yeah. Now go. Okay, hold up, hold up, hold up. How was that a helpful conversation? Well, it was an investment conversation. Once again, you show you understand, and you withhold your need or right to respect. This is a conversation that is moving the ball forward. This is not a conversation that’s changing anything, it isn’t an investment conversation. Alright, let’s talk about the clarification and meaning of the conversation. So this is clarification and meaning conversation. Now the goal of this conversation is to in an another investment, and her belief in the safety or being cherished or being known. And in this particular example of the value that you have of the kids for this particular situation. And again, this is the clarification and meaning conversation. So let’s say this is the next day. You Hey, baby, her yeah, you Is now a good time to chat. Yeah, I wanted to circle back about something. Okay. Can I check an assumption with you? Okay. When you said I’m always late to drop off the boys to practice. Did you mean I don’t care about the boys. Her No, I know you care. It’s just the Jeffrey cried the other day because he wasn’t allowed to start because he was late. You. So Jeffrey was upset because I was late last time. Her Yeah. You. Okay, thanks for clarifying that. At the time, I thought you meant I didn’t care about the boys, her. I know you care. You You know, I care her I do. Thank you.

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So if you think about that, we started out with an investment conversation where you just did whatever she said, right? But what you not only did you made it clear that you understood why and what she was saying. And then because you did that she was opening, she was open to having that next clarification and meaning conversation, where you then again, underscored not only what she meant, but what her concern was, her fear was that you didn’t care about the boys. And so you, you made it very clear that you care about the boys. And so what does that mean? The next time, she probably won’t need to tell you to be on time. Because she knows you care about the boys. She knows you understand about Jeffrey she knows you care. So her fear is then healed? And it’s alleviated? Does that make sense? She was responding to a fear. And that’s why she told you what to do in a disrespectful way. Yes, it was disrespectful. Yes, it it made you sound like you were an idiot. But how are you going to move the ball forward, you have an investment conversation, which again, your reflective listening, and you do whatever she says, Fine. And then you have a clarification in meaning conversation later, when the emotions are good. When everyone’s happy, no big deal. And you say something like, Can I check an assumption with you, she says, Okay. And then you check what you think the fear is. And then you have a real conversation where she feels heard, and she feels cherished, she feels known, she feels safe, her fears are healed. I hope this is making sense, I hope that you are then able to move your marriage from control and misery, to a place of peace and joy and love and freedom. With that in mind, all of this and any of this can only happen on a foundation of peace. There needs to be an absolute biting of your tongue, it takes two to tango man, you cannot be having arguments and be trying to change your marriage at the same time. There it takes two to tango, it is not worth it. Change now, do not have arguments now. So that for so you can make changes in your marriage. So then the decades and decades of the rest of the time you’re married the rest of the time you’re living, you can have an amazing marriage, but don’t mess it up. Because you know something stupid about what color the towels are, or what, you know, time you should make reservations or you know, where you should go on vacation. Or if you should build a garage or just bizarre things that people argue about. And then they get divorce, because they just get so exhausted, don’t do that. Don’t do that. Instead, have a foundation of peace, be strategic in the short term. It doesn’t have to be strategic for 12 years, Be strategic for a year, one year and then have the next 1020 30 years 40 years, being the kind of man that God wants you to be having the kind of marriage that God wants you to have and letting your ministries flow out of the marriage that you have. I want to ask you something dear husband, do you have the strength to turn this around? It is not a strong man who demands his right to be respected. That is not a strong man. A strong man is one who acts strategically wisely to then turn the marriage around He has got to be patient, but he has got to be consistent. And he has got to have endurance. That is a strong man. I believe that you are a strong man, I believe that you are going to be strategic. And I believe that God is going to use your diligence to turn this around. Let me go ahead and pray for you.

40:30
Father, God, in Jesus name, I pray for the man that’s listening. Lord, I pray that you would stir up in him a desire for more in his marriage, and in his life, God that he no longer will be a victim to what he is going through right now he will no longer rebel. And, and, and act even childish and immature. Because of what’s happening right now. God, he now has the tools he needs to transform things in his marriage, God and I pray he would, I pray he would God that he would not fall down against the monster of fear that his wife feels right now, God, the enemy is wreaking havoc on their marriage, father, and it’s debilitating, both of them from doing your will in this world. I pray in Jesus name. It has done the same in my marriage in my life, in my husband’s experience of our marriage in his life. I just pray in Jesus name. God that when you get to the other side of this life is sweet. And people’s lives can be transformed, and the kingdom of heaven is extended. So God I asked Lord, that He would suffer the pain of discipline instead of the pain of regret. In Jesus mighty name. Let him stand up. And what does it look like to truly be a strong man to truly be a man of strength and valor and honor? In Jesus mighty name, I call him out of being the wimpy, rebellious, childish boy that he has acted. And I call him out and say it’s time it’s time to stand up and diligence and, and honor and be the man that God wants you to be. Be the soldier that God wants you to be and what does that look like in your marriage, not to cut down your wife any longer but to protect her and to help her with her fears and to help her feel heard and healed and loved and cherished and known and safe. That she is safe with you that she’s not battling you anymore but she is being protected by you. In Jesus name, you can do this and I pray you would with marriages around the world God

43:05
help this man. God by your grace do this work in Jesus name, amen. Thank you so much for listening, praying for you. And I would love to have you on the webinar. And I would love to work with you one on one if that feels like the right next step for you. God bless bye

43:39
Thanks for listening. If you’ve been blessed by this, why not share it? Until next time, live with love, wisdom and passion

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