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0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host, belah. Rose.

0:18
All righty, thank you so much for joining me. And hey, Happy Father’s Day, dear dads, I’m so grateful that you join me on the call, I do want to mention, before we dive in that, if you have been hoping to ask your wife to have a clarity call with me, I have been offering those, this might be the perfect opportunity for you to ask her if she’d be willing to do that. For a gift for you for Father’s Day, that’s actually been a really effective way for husbands to invite their wives to have either work with me or Yeah, it have my book or those kinds of things. So I invite you to consider that in a clarity call, just so you know, is actually a $500 value. I’m offering it for free right now. But it’s really for me to speak with a wife or husband, even I work with husbands as well. But to really dive deep into what’s going on in your marriage, and where you are and where you want to go. And if it feels like the right fit, I may invite you to actually work with me on one of my programs, because by God’s grace, I see incredible transformations in marriages. Now, on today’s episode, I want to invite you to kind of sit back and relax and talk about maybe having your marriage transformed into an easygoing marriage. A lot of times in the Bible, it says Peace, talks about peace and being a peaceful person, I think sometimes we can probably translate that into easygoing. And my husband and I are actually both on this episode. And he gives a lot of really good insight. And you’ll be able to just hear from him almost on all sorts of different things. But you can pick out just really good nuggets throughout what he says. But we talk about really on on this part, I’ve got three parts to this series I’m very excited about. But this first one, there’s five keys in transforming your marriage to be more easygoing. And it’s really a good thing to have an easygoing marriage, I think God can work through it quite a lot more. So let’s go ahead and dive in.

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Hi, there Welcome. Welcome. I’m so grateful you’re joining this is belah. Rose. And I actually have my husband here.

3:00
Hello, good morning.

3:03
If you’re listening to this in the morning, if not,

3:06
good afternoon, or good evening.

3:12
Thank you. So we wanted to talk about the value and some practical keys of being easy going. Now for me, this has not been part of my nature, honestly. And when we are talking about it, my husband looks at me and says you’re easygoing. And I was quite surprised and grateful because that is not something that I grew up with or saw modeled either. So for me, my personality is a very strong, passionate personality with a lot of purpose behind what I feel that I should do. For a long time. Most of my life, I had a two hour cap on anything I could do. With that was pleasurable for me or something that was fun for me. Because I felt like I needed to do something productive. So if I wasn’t doing something productive for two hours, I would get antsy. And I would have to go do something productive. I would have to learn something, I’d have to read a book, I’d have to process something intense, I’d have to, you know, start praying something really serious and intense. Because you know, I would be losing those two hours. And it wasn’t until I was married with my husband that he said, I guess when we were dating, he started pointing this out and we would laugh because I might have been hanging out with my friends and then we would look at the clock and almost exactly two hours after arriving, you know, hanging out with my friends. I would have to leave and go do something important. And so yeah, so I’ve had a road of something that was or wasn’t productivity. So for me, it’s very important to be productive. And I think that is a good quality. And I think a lot of people really value productivity. But sometimes they value it above peace in our hearts. And in your marriage, it’s really important to be peaceful. And when you think about the fruits of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control. How many of those can you accomplish when you are hurried, and overzealous and unable to relax a bit? I mean, if you don’t have any space in your life, or in your heart, or in your head, how in the world can you love Well, or be gentle, because you’re so focused on being productive and, and pushing yourself to the limits, you don’t have space for that to be kind? Are you kidding me, you got to get stuff done. So I want to encourage you, and invite you today to recognize the value of being easygoing. And that things can slide and God is the one that you can trust for your life to be okay. So maybe you have a business you want to start or maybe you’ve got a lot of work to do. But what really, is gonna matter most in eternity? Well, I want to argue, is that or my point is, I don’t actually want to argue, but my point is, that piece is more important than in your marriage, getting your point across or being right, or being productive or having things you’re away. Making sure that you and your spouse have a peaceful relationship is more important than all those other things because it allows you to do God’s work better because you’re in a peaceful space. And you’re kind to each other and you’re kind to those around you and you invite each other. You know, you invite your friends over your neighbors, your you know, your kind to your children. So I’m curious cuz I’m curious husband, if you have any, if you have any additions to that,

7:31
kid, think about when you said in by your neighbors is something maybe this is that remember, what is a couple years ago on New Years, that you just decided to invite some of our neighbors in our building, and I don’t even know them. And our apartment is very tiny. So we try to invite everybody but also not squeezing. We’ll be comfortable. I don’t know. That’s one of the things that I keep thinking about what you did and and now we’re friends and we’re friends of their friends. And

8:14
yeah, yeah, that’s awesome. And to me, it feels like if we didn’t have a lot of peace in our home, that wouldn’t have even been a possibility. You know, because we’re too busy at each other’s throats to even invite people to be loved by God

8:37
you know what, that’s the didn’t look at the way that they you look now just let you say that if we were like just mad at each other every day or once a week or something that there is we can invite friends to our plays you know, because we’re just angry each other for some reason something that it it doesn’t really matter. Right? Because you know like or that that the apartment Whatever it looks like because we had kids you know on the scratch the the paint the walls and you know, it’s just like we we try to act perfectly how we want the other people to see us and instead of like to see as we had kids, there’s gonna be toys you know, sometimes everywhere and that’s okay. You know, if you don’t understand us, because you don’t have kids. You know, talk to other couples that have kids. You know, it’s it’s a lot of work. It’s a lot of work, but also through the you can bless other people as also those people can bless you because people are watching you know, Whether for the good or for the bad, you know, because always watching and they always say something, whether kind, without you even hear it, even all those kind things you would like to hear. But a lot of times you hear those suggestions that you don’t want to hear, you know, you just want to feel that people can can hear you what you had to say. And, you know, live in New York City, that there’s a lot of people sometimes when I’m just walking on the streets, Mike on the street with my kids, you know, some parents, or I’m assuming parents or men and women, they say, you know, he’s such a great father. And without even know me, and I’m like, oh, you know, and I’m happy, come here and talk to my wife about that. And I feel like, oh, there are people are watching that I, you know, I, I can take care of my kids. And now they see me, you know, my hope and pray that they will go in and do the same thing with our kids or wives, that a lot of times that we don’t do that anymore, because we go focus on our winner on our phones, the reason why I sit on their phones is because I think I’m too strict about phones to my kids watching that scream every day. And I think I’m way too strict about that. And my wife can talk about that.

11:30
Thank you, honey. No, he’s awesome about that. It’s, um, I think it is a big problem in our society for kids to be on screens so much. So that’s something Yeah, that my husband really doesn’t allow is for them to be on screens very much at all. So yeah, we’re working out whether or not there’s a balance there. Because clearly, mom’s on the screen all the time for her work. So there’s, there’s something to it. But anyway, we might have to have a little bit more conversation there off. Oh, Mike. Um, so but anyway, I think maybe that’s even a good key, because I want to give you some, some real principles that practical things that you can be thinking about when you think about how can you turn your marriage into something that’s more easygoing, and one way is Be playful? There’s so much in life that you can turn into a joke, you know, so much in my my opinions, my thoughts, my understandings, that I can be playful with my husband. And it turns into a fun exchange, rather than, you know, something serious about screens and all this stuff, I mean, be playful. So that’s number one. The second one I want to talk about is extend the timeline. Because so often, we think that we need to get things done quickly. And what that does is put pressure on the current situation. Listen, you’ve got tons of time, life is not short, life is long. Now, even if you’re listening, and there are some, some listeners that are in their 60s or 70s, you still have tons of time. But if you’re in your 30s 40s 50s, I mean, that is so much time left in in life. And so don’t feel like there’s this this ticking clock that you have to get all of your arguments figured out within the next, or disagreements figured out within the next even couple months or years, you can extend that timeline, and you’ll be so much more effective than if you did it. Let’s say we really need to get this figured out by tomorrow, you know, instead, maybe have that first conversation, plant a seed tomorrow, and then have another good conversation in two weeks, and then have another good conversation in a month. And just think about even a conversation if it’s a disagreement that can start out by one hint at a certain certain issue. So for example, about screens, if we gave that as an example, you know, we had, excuse me some friends over last night, and their son was using the phone to look up endangered species. And he was drawing pictures from looking at a frog, for example. And it was very cool. And that was an opportunity that we could have a conversation with this. These other parents who are also very strict about screens and say that their son can only be on a screen. If they’re in the room with the parents and it’s there, the parents phone so they’ve got to be To see exactly what the Sun is doing in the sun is, is young just like our kids. So it was really interesting. So that’s a seed and my husband and I can take that exchange and we can talk about it and talk about what do we want our kids to be doing. But that’s not going to be my opportunity in that conversation to then get all of my thoughts out about screens. Because that, that’s not going to be productive, you know, my husband may want to process for a while and what he says to me, I may want to process for a while, so we don’t have to get everything out on the table in one fell swoop. So think about extending that, that timeline, when you’re talking about disagreements, you have anything you want to add.

15:48
I mean, I can keep going. Okay, the next thing that I wanted to mention is to rely on each other strengths. And I talked about this a lot, but you and your spouse are extremely different and God made you that way. So think about each other as really a complementary team. You know, his strengths are your weaknesses, your strengths are his weaknesses. So consider your like puzzle pieces fitting together to make the hole that God wanted you to be from the get go. So don’t assume that your strengths are better or his strengths are better know your, your weaknesses and strengths, align and complement each other your your equal halves have an entire hole. So for example, again, with our friends that came over last night, my husband loves to cook he loves to kind of be the doer, he is amazing at that aspect, he gets things accomplished while I sit and talk. So I’m very lucky that that’s what he does. But um, but anyway, I would encourage you to, to think about that of what is your spouse’s strengths and rely on those things, and and complementing each other. So you can do Kingdom work better. The next thing I wanted to say was, feel free to touch my arm, if you have something to say, and then I’ll, I’ll know, the next thing I was gonna say was compliment and encourage each other. I think that’s really important because you want your spouse to know how much you enjoy and appreciate them. And that makes them calm, you know themselves that you so they can feel free to be themselves around you. Because if if they feel like you don’t like who they are, they can’t have peace in their own heart, they can’t feel like they can be all that they are. And I know, in the past, for me, I felt like I was constantly striving to be someone I wasn’t I was constantly striving to change myself, I wasn’t good enough. But by God’s grace, my husband has really made me feel like I am free to be who I am, I’m free to be who God made me to be. And I’m appreciated for who God made me to be. And so compliments are huge. If you don’t compliment your spouse, start today start making that a culture of your marriage. And the other piece of that is you have to start being able to receive compliments, I see that all the time in marriages is that sadly, when one person complements, the other person may either not respond or be like, Oh, it’s no big deal. It was just, you know, it’s just something I always do or whatever. And what that does is it makes a kind of a prickly culture in your marriage of where you’re not receiving what the other person is giving. And then, and then there’s a block and it kind of hurts the other person without realizing you, you might think that you’re even being humble, but you’re not you’re not receiving and that’s vulnerable to receive a compliment. It’s vulnerable to be given something and receive it, but it gives the softness between you two.

19:16
Yeah, I can add something to that. Looking at your notes when they say compliment encourage each other. Because a lot of times that we as a husband and wife, we just let you say we don’t compliment each other. A lot of times you’re busy. And lot of times you look at your your spouse in something that you like that she or he did. Or say something and you like it but you don’t say like oh, thank you for saying those things. Because I feel like you know, I don’t really buy clothes, right? I don’t really buy clothes. I people don’t make clothes. And if they’re my size I wear them if not we know I will donate those clothes. And one time I went to, to the store. And you know, this knot decided that moment that I want to buy some pins.

20:12
May I add that? It was because all of his pants were ripped, aside from one pair of jeans, and I had already sold the other pairs of pants and they ripped a second time.

20:28
Yeah, that’s, that’s true. So I feel like how can I? Not? How can I not spend money, but also, you can fake those pins anymore. And I feel like, you know, I tried on and you know, I didn’t feel comfortable. Now that, you know, just the comfortable, but then I try some pants and I feel comfortable. But I see they’re expensive, you know, expensive when I’m talking about no more than $40 Those are pens that I got them and I feel like I you know, do I deserve this, you know, I I feel like is I haven’t done that for a long time, like buying or treat myself, I guess you can say that. But I knew that I needed. And I bought them and unliking so much that I I went to get another one. And I you know, I’m excited to tell my wife in I’m like, hey, look about this pens, but I was looking for the compliment if she liked it or not, because I like it. You know, she’s like, Oh, you look, he looks really good. And like every I think for the last three days, it could be more like, I really like these pants. She was like, I think I think that they look really cute on you. They look really good of you. And, you know when she says that, that she that i She really likes blue pens, whether she liked it or not, but I just want to look for the compliment. And if I hear that from my wife, I feel like I’m I’m the I’m just model that is walking on the street, even on Far, far away from that. But just me feeling inside in secure, that my wife likes it loves it. And I was looking for the compliment. But a lot of times that we were not looking for that compliment because we’re trying to figure out something more serious in our, in our marriage, in our relationship with our spouse, compliment is far away from from, from that. I feel like if you husband, if you husband, just man, just compliment your wife. I appreciate why she has done what she’s doing for her and for you. Because remember, that’s the image of our God. That’s the you know, as soon as you husband, you’re the image of her God, you know, reflects you what you do what you say, you know, you don’t want to feel like you don’t want to say negative stuff to your husband or wife gives you already heard so many times. Were there in the past, whether her work or friends study, you know, I just feel like that’s that’s enough. Just say something nice that you really liked about her. You really liked about him. And I feel like that’s sometimes he just assuming that she likes it. That that you that she knows that you like that you like it? And you don’t say it. He didn’t say thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that you say those things, that what I did, because if you’re like she noticed those things, or he noticed those things. You know, I keep thinking about the a lot of times that husbands I’m talking about husbands right because I see and I live in New York City right? Like they they don’t really bother you and honor their wives and they start saying some things about their wives with their friends. And I feel like what will you say such a things with your friends? Why will you say that and you’re going to leave with your wife. Like what did you do? When when you first saw her you know when you first saw him and then you years and months whatever you go hang out with your friends and this are talking about how your houses you know as miserable. Do you’re not happy there what happened? What happening there? And I feel like she’s, you know, Aren’t you grateful that your wife choose you? Like, she can choose anyone else. But she, she choose you?

25:18
Like, you know, there is a saying that if like if there is food that you don’t want and someone else wanted it, you’re not compliment your, your your wife, someone else is looking at your wildlife. She’s the most beautiful lady. She’s the most beautiful lady. And they’re not going to say or at least some of them they’re not when they’re want to say, like, you know, you’re how lucky you are, you have a wife like that. A lot of men won’t say that. Because one is because we don’t want to think or feel that is my friend got a crush on my wife. Because he’s he says some something nice about my wife. You know, but wife can say that, you know, but I feel like men, especially those men, those very, very jealous have the problem because I had that problem before. Man, that is not life. That is like, painful inside of you. And in your in your in your wife, your wife is not being authentic to you. She’s not, she’s not. She’s not going to be 100 100% for you, because she’s afraid to act the way you act before. You know, I feel like the reason why I talk about mostly about husbands is because I’ve seen husband so much these respecter wipes. And just like screaming on the street, I’m like, Why are you screaming on the street? What are you trying to show to everybody that you’re the man of the house by screaming on the street, respect your wife. Because the way that you talk to your wife, whether if you’re if you’re right, you know, I feel like I keep thinking about this image, like, if every men will give birth to one child, man, you will appreciate more your wife, because the painful that they had to go through the pain that they get, they had to go through, not just keep birth. Now forget about the first trimester. You know, that’s one not a lot of like, hormones are moving around, and then they, you get tired of it. But you don’t want to deal with a wife like that. You know, and she’s trying to deal with her body that would hurt, she can help it is just part of the creation of our guy that is making that happen. If you’re not into the light, like if you’re not close to that, like, step by step by step side by side with her and look at the pain that she got to go through. But she won’t complain. But your complain about your job, because I had complain about my job, well quit my by my jobs, because I had two jobs. And I wanted to quit my jobs because I didn’t want to handle that. A you know, my wife, she was like, you know, how did you think about you know, they don’t want to, you know, lose you your her worker, they don’t want to lose you. You know, and another thing about like, you know, you’re right, you know, and I like what I do, I I work and I work I put my 100% Every, every time i i start in you know in those jobs, and I want to put more than my 100% on my own with my wife with my family. Because I feel like that’s that’s not a job that people say I’m doing all this job I feel like you choose that responsibility. It’s not a job dad because I feel like a job you get paid I feel like responsibilities that you things that you had to do and you choose that way and you choose that you choose that image of God that weight of God who has put you and if you’re looking for gaining something back I feel like you’re ended up more in pain not you for your when it hurt more the other person and your kids. Man we have so many so many friends that we had like their their babies right there. You’re born babies and then they’re not even your old and then they separated. The separated you know, and I feel like husbands I feel like why like why? Because the hormones and their their their ladies that you know there’s so much need is just so much of their body. Why something and we can explain, but we have somebody, it’s just painful when to see single moms, you know, they had to deal with,

30:13
with the babies and child support and this whole thing and the husband, you know, they get to easy way because they not give birth to the child. They see it, but they cannot experience it. You know, and they we always complain about Yeah, but it’s Hershey, they say D or say something. But I feel like just sit calm and look how your wife just went through just give a life out of you know, life. Like that, that poor little child, right? I feel like, sometimes when we’re trying to do something, celebrate something, we had to figure out how we can invite our parents, because they’re the boss, and we don’t want them to bring their spouse either as pounds because the relationship did not end that well. We don’t have that awkwardness in front of our children. So sometimes we feel that we don’t want to invite our, for our families, rather, just invite our friends. You know, and I feel like if your husband can just bless bless it be blessed to your family. And just, you know, just look at your kids eyes, look at your kids, I innocent, don’t know anything about this world. But you know so much about this world about how much of the pain you had caused so much of the pain people have cost to you. And you want to leave your you know, with that generation about compassion, to love one another. And to not went through what you went through, you know, by loving and it’s, it’s okay, like sometimes, you know, we get mad, we get frustrated or our kids because they just want to irritation, you know, give your child attention. Maybe you can hide that attention when you grow up. And that, that a lot that you that you get it that a lot and you pass it on to your kids. And but you you know, we’re not aware of that. And let’s pass it on all the positive things to our kids. Not those things that we that we went through with our child like we wish their parents did this for us say these things for us give a case for us. You know, for example, my parents, you know, my dad never kiss me in the chicken never hug me that I remember. Never. You know, and I feel like my little too much for my kids. Because I hug them and kiss them too much that they tell me like puppy at the not ask you to kiss me. And I’m sorry, buddy. Can I give you a kiss is like yes, but yes, a little bit. Like okay, that’s enough. Because I feel like I don’t you know, like sometimes we’re too much. Sometimes we you know, we give our kids something that we didn’t have a lot of technologies. Right. And I see in you know, yeah, that’s a good point. I seen like kids were like 10 years old. They have those brand new Galaxy phones iPhone, whatever. Right? And I just had this you know, somebody asked her friends or church Hey, if you don’t want any old phones, we can use them. And we use them. When we see this 10 year old kids how those the newest iPhone that I think it costs more than $1,000 because their parents are our parents did not give us what but what we have, so we give that to our children. And I feel like To me that’s we we bring into our kids who are completely like crushing their lives because they don’t know where that thing’s coming from. You know, and they don’t know how hard it is to get it. You know because you got to pay for insurance without so you get a pay down of course parents have to pay that you’re not going to find at seven year old paying for that phone completely you know, I mean my kids sometimes they get excited when they find a coin on the on the on the on the ground and then they collect it and then we go to $1 store and they buy their toy whatever, you know, buy they collected and I feel like you know is Easy for me to just give him $3 for $1 that they can get it. But I feel like they had to.

35:08
They had to work for it. I’m not saying we’re for like get a you got to do something I’m like, think about it. Like sometimes we go it’s you know, it’s your son or your birthday right and then some people to keep toys, some clothes some of them they give $20 Right and then that’s $20 you say them for for I mean at least we we I say for for my kids and then we’re like oh hey and they know they’re aware now they’re like, but this person give me money they don’t know money, how much it is. And then we’re like okay, so you bought whatever you want on this on this one toy and then you you pick it and then you get changed and you put her on the you know on the jar or whatever. But anyway, I feel like just about encouraging husbands managers encourage your wife love who she’s what she’s kiss I feel like here’s what my wife is saying like sometimes my weakness is that she can she can see it and she can help me through that and hurt Wheaton is the same thing as I can do that they’re hurt he’s sometimes won’t be rotating you know we were like but she’s not you know I keep thinking of in my head it can help it that you know she asked for advice to her family said but you know this man that lacquers like him so much but he’s not Baba does this and of course it family just wanted the best for her and they say like well you know he he he has two jobs but he doesn’t have a career and I think about jobs and Courier this at a career boot means mostly these were lawyer like a higher pay person with you had to dress something nice and hot to jobs that I don’t have to work nice I just had to wear the clothes and shoes that they’re not supposed to look they’re $200 you know and and now that I talk about sometimes me my wife is like thank God that we are different. We are different because we cannot marry two to two lawyers to precedence two CEOs we know we get because now we start compete to each other you know you making more money you making less money you got more savings are gonna lay savings you know all those things and then like yours yours Your ended up I mean I feel like hurting each other and I’m not saying out for all of us use you know there’s some teachers Maritsa teachers you know and but not work in the same classroom. If I can explain you know what I mean? I feel like it’s okay and then that’s wonderful if they can they like it they love it and man you know I’m go for that but you had to recognize their weakness to one another and their strength to one another. So you can help each other. You sometimes I you know, I feel like I cannot do this. I cannot do this and more. I was like, by you’ve done this before and you know, and then I started looking about my son I’m like, Yeah, I think I can I can do it. You know, but she needs to know that she needs to see that but I feel like she sees that and then she helps me to see that. That I can do better or, or I can do that thing because I’ve done that before. But I feel like just husbands made us encourage your wives choosing encouragement, tell her. Why you like about her. Starting today tomorrow. Today I will say because we don’t know what’s tomorrow we don’t have insurance about the insurance will be ahead of her Carson water. If we crash our cars tomorrow. We don’t have cars. But if you have a car’s tomorrow, and then you crash and then insurance pay write us we don’t have the insurance or lives we had insurance our life returned life for our gut. So stars say something currently to your wife about what you like about her while you like her body while you like that she did yesterday or today. Or you like her eyes, her hair. Her lips something my wife is because I tell her a lot about lips and the eyes but you know just encourage to to your wife mean, you know, I feel like we lost that so many, so many of those things, because we’re focused on our jobs.

40:10
You know, even humming, I can’t help it, just looking at other reviews of my, you know, my wife on the podcast, right? Now there is one person that is saying, like, I don’t like this, blah, blah, blah about this, I think she’s promoting about this, the reason why she says about porn addiction is because no one talks about it, no one talks about it. And if you go to a church, maybe one time we’ll talk about your church, your pastor, because no one talks about it. And, you know, this is not like, promoting is a way for you to be aware of that, that no one talks about it. And if you can start talking about with your spouse, with your kids, you know, your addictions, because I had that addiction before, if I can talk openly with my kids about, you know, about that, not addictions, because they don’t know about that, but something that it could affect them in I feel like, you know, that person that forgot what is saying that but something like, you know, maybe you don’t like about this and and thank you so much for for even, you know, saying those things, because some other people, they left a review of that and said, you know, for for this person that is says that? That is not actually I don’t know exactly, but kind of like no one talks about it. In some wives they even mentioned, when they leave a review, about, you know, encouraging, like, Bella, thank you so much for doing all the job that you do. Because a lot of people, a lot of us, we don’t want it to the kind of job that what you do. Because we no one, no one wants to talk about it. You know, because leave us someone you know, someone has to say someone has to call, someone has to say, because I can’t say it. Right. But I’m sure someone will, someone will say and if and if, you know, if you had a reboot, encourage to encourage it, you know, you think that that my wife don’t see the reviews, you know, sometimes she you know, I not sometimes I look at other reviews over and over and over again. And I tell my wife all this, you know, positive things, you know, and I feel like that helps so much to spread another marriage, another mother and other father, another son is about to get married. And, you know, like it helps so much. But you know, there’s always someone, there’s always someone that is not happy. You know? And if you’re in a feel like, you know, you had the best experience whatever you did you go you had the best experience, right? You know, like, I wish everybody can experience this. But there’s someone will say I had a terrible experience and leave a bad review. Right? And you’re like, what, it was amazing, blah, blah, it just wasn’t for that person for that capital for that family. But why do we have to say this negative stuff, you know, like, Okay, you didn’t like it by you know, there’s always someone, whether your job, or your neighbor, your neighborhood. Or friends, someone’s that you disagree. And I feel like that’s the, you know, sadly, that’s the nature that sometimes we like it, we already we started saying this things that we don’t know that that person works so hard for that job to for that business. Right, put our families that sacrifice our things, and then they try to accommodate you in trying to say like, all those wonderful things, right? But and then yet, someone will say like, No, it’s not good enough. And you know, when that family like, oh, man we’re doing we’re 100% and they’re still popular or not, you still people are not happy with it. Because there are going to be people that are not happy with you know, we always need more, we always want more. And I feel that if we focus more on the positive things that what God has blessing us, and I feel like that you start seeing the beauty around you. You know just walking on the street. You know, like do you get to see it, that you get to see it a lot of people can see it that you get to hear it that you get to hear that a lot of people cannot hear it that they wish they can hear what you’re saying but they cannot hear it that you can smell that you can speak

44:56
Alright, well we are going to pick up here where we’ve left off Just a quick summation of what we’ve talked about so far with the easygoing qualities and ways that you can proactively insert them into your marriage is, number one, be playful. Number two, extend the timeline. Number three, it rely on each other strengths, number four, compliment and encourage each other. And my husband was kind enough to share quite a lot about that. And the final one is he just began speaking about gratitude, which is humongous in the main maintaining an easy marriage and a peaceful, calm, joyful, life and home. It’s, it’s gratitude. So great, well talk to you soon.