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Do you wish YOU were into sex more?

A lot of things are not mentioned in the Bible:

• Electricity
• Vehicles
• Importance of exercise
• Internet

So much of our daily life is not spoken about in the Bible! And yet we have no problem doing it, every day. In fact, we’d say it was good, though not mentioned in the Bible. 

So, why don’t we have the same view of sex? 

Art isn’t mentioned in the Bible but some like painting, some like sculpture, others like charcoal. As with art, if your spouse would like more variety, that’s okay! If your spouse would like more frequent intimacy, that’s okay!

God can help you with all of this. He can help you physically crave sex. He can help you want to meet your husband’s particular desire for that particular style of “art”. God cares about being a part of your life — and your sex life! In a marriage, a man and a woman are free to want to make love with one another. 

Resources:

If you’re interested about the women’s program to be truly free in the areas of VARIETY, CRAVING SEX and grow in your knowledge of all the HOW-TO’s this coming September, you can go to www.dym.as.me to schedule a call to see if it’s a good fit for you!

transcript

0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host, belah. Rose.

0:18
All right, so welcome, welcome. This is belah rose. And I’m really excited to chat with you about inviting God into your sex life. Before we dive into that I want to mention now this is a podcast, directed more for women this episode. And essentially, I have a program getting started for women. It’s a group of women meeting weekly to discuss the important things of intimacy. So if this has been a block for you, for a long time, this has been a struggle between you and your husband for a long time. That’s the kind of people that I work with. I’ve worked with therapists who actually work with marriages, in their own practices, I’ve worked with leaders in the marriage field I’ve worked with wives that have been married for decades, and this is still an issue for them. And by God’s grace through this program, they have been able to get so much freedom. And literally, as one, like I said, therapist mentioned, what’s changed in her life. And then in all caps are responses, everything. So God is really good. And I invite you to be thinking about that. And if that’s something you want to learn more about, and see if your situation is the right fit for this coming program, which is late September, you can go to www.dy M dot h s dot m e, u, and I will get on a free clarity call, which is about 40 minutes, and we’ll talk about your story. And we’ll actually go deep into what’s going on. And even if we find out, it doesn’t seem to be the right fit, you’ll be able to have a ton of great clarity on your situation, and essentially what needs to happen next. Alright, well let’s talk about how to invite God into your sex life and what that actually means. So listen to this episode, if you feel unsure, if you’re okay being free sexually. Or if you feel like your husband may be inappropriately obsessed with sex, or you feel like your craving for sex is too low, or too high, or you wish your spouse was more into sex. And that’s often where the husband is coming from. But let me talk about the fact that God gives us the green light for freedom insects. But to begin, I want to invite you to think about the word of God. God gave us a ton of understandings, wisdom and grace, through his words in the Bible. But there are a lot of things about life that are not mentioned, as far as my understanding of the Bible at least. For example, I’ve never seen a passage in the Bible about the importance of exercise. Now we all know now that exercise is very important to a healthy life. And plenty of people around the world find that to be extremely fulfilling to have that is their goal to help people in this area. And they do it every single day.

3:32
But that’s not mentioned in the Bible. Or what about electricity. That’s also not in the Bible, as far as I have ever seen. And yet, that’s what we use every single day to power most of the things that, you know, support our lives, from dishwashers to lights to refrigerators. How about the importance of hygiene, the fact that many of us take showers on daily occasion, or at least several times a week, more than likely, or what about motorized vehicles never seen that, or there’s really not a whole lot on parenting even. And that’s something that happens throughout every single day of your child’s life. I’ve never heard of anything about the internet, and yet most of us do that quite a lot. And I’ve also never heard anything about home decoration and that’s often a pretty big deal about making sure your home looks nice or clean at the very least. Honestly, I haven’t even heard a whole lot about laughter in the Bible. But you know, gosh, most of us laugh most days I would think or what style of music we should like or dislike certain styles of music or even whether or not we should like art or what kinds of art are okay to like. So there’s so much of the human history experience in our culture of everyday life that the Bible doesn’t speak to. And so what I gather from that is that he gave us his word in the midst of a certain culture in a certain time. And he invites us to use the truth in the Bible, in the culture in the place in which we live now. And so the biggest themes in the Bible, they are hugely relevant to our lives today. And the verses I mean, you know, from listening to my podcast, I love the Bible, I love the truth, I love the inspiration and the the power of the Word of God and how much it teaches me and grows me every day. But my point is that the specific application of sex is just not laid out in the Bible, not because we’re not allowed to have electricity, or we shouldn’t drive cars, or the internet is evil. But, of course, if we’re using electricity to kill people, or we’re coveting each other’s cars, or we’re employing the Internet to spread hateful, false witness against others, I think the Bible would definitely disagree with that. So the 10 commandments are clear on, you know, several things to do, like Love the Lord your God, above everyone else, don’t take His name in vain. Or, you know, honor your mother and your father. But, you know, a lot of it is just not what not to do, which leaves a ton of room for what to do. So it’s do not commit adultery, which means do not have sex with anyone other than your spouse. And as Jesus later clarified, don’t lust after anyone, either. But outside of that, there’s, there’s just freedom, it’s just the sky’s the limit, right? So I feel like our churches need to base sex, our sex life on what the Bible prescribes, is very outside of what we ask of the Bible for everything else in our lives. I don’t think it’s a biblical notion to seek the Bible for prescription of how our sex life should look. Because we don’t ask the Bible for that in so many other areas of our lives. In the same way, you know, God shouldn’t also be outside of your sex life. You know, electricity can power, the church building, where people are meeting for worship, or your car can be used to drive warm meals to the homeless, who otherwise wouldn’t eat that night, or your beautiful home can be a comfortable place of rest for people to feel loved and welcome.

7:43
But, you know, I also don’t think it’s bad. Or in fact, I actually think it’s good for music to be a place of joy for you, or art to be released from the stressors of life, or stand up comedy to be a way of experiencing life with a greater sense of peace and fun. So sex can be used and aware in a way where you don’t have to attach a big spiritual lesson to it. The parameters are in place, right and needs to be inside of your marriage. No one outside and imagination or in reality, should be involved. But we’re not going to, you know, say that additional things need to be happening there. So let’s use the example with art. You’re not going to poke anyone in the eye out with your paintbrush. But aside from that, you’ve got a lot of freedom in what you want to paint. And you could use, like I said, you could use guess Jesso, which I’ve just learned about, you could use paint, you could use clay, you could take things out of cardboard together, if that’s what gets you going around art. So sex isn’t all that different. You can use it to drink out every drop of life that God wants you to enjoy. Just like pursuing art in vigor and excitement. You know, I think there’s a reason that we’re especially interested in sex right now is a culture. You know, I don’t know, back then, if it was flashing on billboards of almost naked women all over the place in Jesus time, but I think that’s why it’s more of a thing now in our culture and in our spouses, because men, you know, are the word would be tempted by it all day, every day. Right? So he might have a stronger opinion that he wants more intimacy and frequency and different varieties. But just like, you know, again, I’ll use this example throughout the rest of this podcast of art. If you think about it, like art, you can create art in many different ways, many different styles, many different variations and all Good, even if each are an every medium, you know, God didn’t catalog in the Bible and say clay is good and, and painting is good. And on a canvas is good. And, you know, using cardboard is good paper mache I mean, there’s just every type of art. But we know intuitively like, God doesn’t say that’s wrong, so we’re okay. So I want to move on to the fact that there’s freedom in it. And as long as you’re not doing the wrong stuff, which is adultery, you’ve got, the rest of it is okay, you’re open, the rest is open, it’s like God sectioned off this, you know, he created a barrier, all the rest is just limited on your own creativity and your your comfort level. And, of course, whether or not your spouse is okay with it, and I’m going to speak more to that in just a minute. But I want to say that God is well aware of your sex life, he is well aware of, in the same way, sorry, I’m gonna use this example. Again, in the same way, he’s well aware of your art, or lack thereof. He’s not judging whether or not you’ve met your quota of art. So the difference between art and sex is that you committed to a human, and that human, and the one flesh SNESs between you two is that commitment that you made. So if your spouse is happy with a once a week, in missionary with the lights off, that’s great. And that’s, you know, that’s fine. And that means you’re, you’re, you know, you’re moving forward in the way that your spouse wants you to and all his happy day. But if your spouse would like more variety and playfulness, and are those are also great things. And if the latter is really hard for you, I’m grateful you’re listening to this episode, and in general, my podcast, and God willing, if that’s something you want to pursue more than we can work together more closely on that in one of my programs, or one on one. But I want you to know, right here right now that God cares about being part of your life, and your sex life. Again, this metaphor, if you’re an artist, and you were seeking to get a job in art, you would pray, because you know, God cares. And let’s say you got the job, you would also pray so that God can help you do your best, and even draw others closer to God.

12:45
And let’s say, you were even commissioned to do something extra special, extra unique in the art space. So again, you pray, so God can help you with that, and maybe once again, draw others closer to God through your work. So if you’re married, and your spouse would like more out of your sex life, you can pray because God cares about what’s going on for you. He cares about where you’re going through, and you don’t have to feel like you’re being judged and that you have to do it in your duty and all these things, like God wants to help you. He wants to empower you in those things. So you can ask God, you can pray, this can be a part of your prayer life. And it doesn’t mean that you naturally are not, you know, one who likes sex. But you can ask God to help you with that. You can ask God to help you crave physically, you can ask God to help you have that time and energy, you can ask God to help you be more comfortable with something that your husband likes. You can ask God to awaken and give you more physical sensations. And you know what God may encourage you to to get more wisdom and insight and processes to fulfill that calling, for example, with art, that you might go to art school, you might do an art program, so that you can get that kind of job that may be best. So it may be best for you to grow in sexual, your sexual appetite and your sexual freedoms, so that you can become more free and become more fulfilling in your relationship with your spouse. But don’t think that you’re in this zone that God doesn’t care because it’s supposed to be natural. And if it isn’t natural or comfortable for you, it means it’s wrong for your husband as well. It’s not. That’s his interest, that’s his type and for him to be doing that in a holy way. It has to be in your marriage. And so you get to be a part of that journey for him and becoming Is this really wonderful, wonderful thing for the two of you? So here are some action steps, I want you to take just three. Number one is Journal, the answer to the question, was I putting rules on my sexual relationship with my husband? There outside of God’s rules? Was I or am I putting rules on my sexual relationship with my husband, that are outside of God’s rules. Number two, I want you to start praying for your sex life every day, for the desire for the comfort for the energy for the time, this is a big deal. If your husband loves you through sex, it’s important for you to feel that as well. It’s important for you to pursue that as well, for you to seek God to give you the grace to do that as well. And then I do want you number three, to sign up for a clarity call to see if taking my program is the right next step for you. Again, it’s a free 40 minute call. And even by the end, if it doesn’t feel like the right fit, you’ve at least given you know the time just in case and clarity on what’s deep beneath the surface. So go to www.dy m.as.me. Awesome, well, I hope this has been a great encouragement for you, I’m going to go ahead and pray before we sign off. Father, I thank you for the wife on the other side of this call today or this this microphone today. And I pray, Lord, that you would encourage her to have freedom in her heart in her mind, to know that there’s not rules on this, that in her marriage, she’s free. And God I pray also for her husband, Lord, that You would give him all the fruits of the Spirit that He needs in his life to follow you God but it would also attract her to want to make love that he would take off the pressure by God that she would also respond to that, in wanting to make love and wanting to have the variety that he’s craving. Lord, I pray for that in Jesus name. Lord, we love you. We thank you. And I pray, Lord, that that intimacy would just grow between them, and what would be an opportunity for them to praise you and thank you for your wonderful gift of intimacy in Jesus name.

17:34
Thanks for listening. If you’ve been blessed by this, why not share it? Until next time, live with love, wisdom and passion