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• What does it mean and WHY would you actually do it?
• What if it’s COMPLETELY outside of your personality?
• What to actually do? (Steamy examples!)

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Before we dive in…

I run a men’s course called Masculinity Reclaimed: Be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again.

It’s a program which helps you understand how to be an amazing husband so your wife wants to do this kind of stuff. It dramatically transforms  marriages. 

I work with men in this program and interview their wives who started out rating their intimacy as a 3 out of 10 and then they move to a 7 out of 10 or from a 5 out of 10 to a 9 out of 10!  If you want to find out if this is right for you, lets discuss your situation on a call. You can schedule here.

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ALL-DAY seduction is: 

• not normal for me
• I don’t wake up thinking I want to be someone who likes playful touching throughout the day

I thought it was sinful. “Why think about sex the whole day???” was my question.

Well, now I’ve changed my tune. Here’s why…

 

The reason I do this work:

• I love families
• I love what children have when it’s a safe, loving family
• The desire for intercourse isn’t the motivation. It’s the answer to “how do we make the world safer”? 
• We make better children who have parents who love each other so well that they’re able to live a trauma-free life

 

God wants children to be raised up in the right, safe, kind environment. And sex is vital to that because that’s how your husband receives love. 

 

Why do great men of God fall to sexual sin? The sexual sin is great…

• 35% of internet downloads is pornography
• “Sex” is the #1 search term
• Pornography increases marital infidelity rate by more than 300%
• Adultery destroys your soul
• God made him with a strong desire
  • And God gave him that desire; the average man has about 11 erections a day!

 

So where do we go from here? I’m not saying you’re responsible for his fidelity. But I think you have an opportunity to support him in this really sinful world. 

 

Have a system of seduction throughout the day:

• Bring up intimacy throughout the day!
• Touch him! 
• Give him a kiss through his clothes — do it any time of the day!
• Always change in front of him
• Tell him “I can’t wait to do more”

Resources:

• Late September, I have a women’s course called The Delighted Wife: Reclaim Your Sexuality Live In Your Womanly Wisdom And Witness Him Cherish You
• If you want to find out if this is the right step for you, go to www.dym.as.me so we can speak 1:1 to see if this is the right fit. No matter what it’s a $500 value but free to podcast listeners and you’ll get amazing free value and clarity so sign up as soon as you can!

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transcript

0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host, belah. Rose.

0:19
All right, welcome. Welcome. I am so glad you are here. Thank you for taking some time out of your day. I know that you have a busy life, and you’ve got lots going on. So I really appreciate the time you’re spending with me. I want to talk about all day seduction. Why this is a great idea for you have oh, it’s not as scary as it may seem? And what to actually do practically? And, honestly, why would you even do it? And what does that mean? Before we dive in there, husbands and wives Listen to me. So I’ve got a bit of a updated intro and outro because I wanted to make it a little male, more male friendly, because they do listen. And if you are a man listening, and you would like your wife to explore this kind of topic more, I encourage you to take the first step yourself. And what I mean by that is I do a men’s course called masculinity reclaimed, be respected, enjoy fierce intimacy and love being married again. And what that ultimately is, is a program, which helps you understand how to be an amazing husbands so that your wife wants to do this kind of stuff. So I work with men in this program. And they come out on the other side, and I basically interview their wives on how they did and we, I’ve spoken to some wives where started out as emotional intimacy and physical intimacy, a three out of 10. And then they moved into like a seven out of 10, another one, five out of 10, they started out, now they’re nine out of 10. So it Trump magically dramatically transforms your marriage. And then what it does is it allows her to really have this Recep receptivity and desire to then see what she can do in your marriage. And so what’s what’s been really cool is I start out working with the husbands. And then I start working with their wives, another spouse, that that husband and wife, they hadn’t made love in a couple of years. And now they’re making love. And in fact, at their most recent vacation, she brought out many different outfits of lingerie, and it’s very cool. I’m working with the wife now. And, and like I said, I started out by working with the husband. And that’s how it works. A lot of times, you’ve got to take the first step. Okay, well, let’s go ahead, Oh, before I switch the subject, if this is something you think you want to explore your husband to find out if this is the right next step for you go to www.dy m.as.me. And you and I can speak one on one and I can perceive and hear your story and see if this would be the right fit, if I can help your situation because I don’t want to take on people that I can’t actually, they’re not in the right situation to actually be helped. And then also, I have a women’s program coming up late September. So if you husband start now in your program, then by the time September comes around, she’ll be super open and excited to take the next step for her. And like I said, I’ve seen that many times. And that’s been a really cool transition for both spouses to Yeah, have a really incredible marriage where both people are inspired and satisfied in the way that they feel loved.

4:10
So I’m a little mad at myself, because I went down a bit of a rabbit trail this morning trying to find statistics and have really the best information for you. But what I want to start out by saying is an all day seduction is not normal for me. That is not my personality. Naturally, quote unquote. I didn’t wake up thinking I wanted to be someone who likes having playful, sexual touching and those kinds of things throughout the day or texting or innuendos like that was not something that I would do, ever, ever. I felt like that was sinful and wrong, and shouldn’t we be having our thoughts consumed by holy and productive things? Why in the world would you be thinking about sex throughout the day? Well, what I do think about a lot is the sadness of, of the world and situations that happen. You know, the reason I do this work is because I love families. And I love what children have when it’s a safe, loving family, when it’s people who genuinely love each other and feel loved by each other, so they can fully love their kids, because they’re filled up in their own life. They’re not in pain on their own, in their own heart. And the sad thing is that I hear from men who’ve been married for 3040 55 years, and they wish their wives would love them sexually. But she never has an even though they have grandkids are they’ve ever been married faithfully for so long. They tell me that if they could do it again, they would not have married her. And it’s simply because of sex. And these men are not monsters. They are not monsters. These men feel loved through intimacy. And I want you to understand that dear wife, that is what’s going on here. And so when you hear of these horrific stories of men of God, falling because of sex, you know, because of infidelity, or they’re soliciting sex from from, you know, young children or prostitutes, or, you know, all of these kinds of things. We hear it all the time. And in a breaks hearts, it breaks families apart. And God wants children raised up in the right, safe kind environment. And sex is vital to that, because that’s how your husband receives love. So that’s what consumes me. You know, the desire for sexual intercourse and the desire for being sexy? That is not or hasn’t been the motivation for me to understand something like an all day seduction, the motivation is, how do we make our life? How do I make our world safer? How do we make our world safer? Well, we make better children that are filled up in their own life, and they’ve been loved by their parents, and there hasn’t been trauma and abuse and all these things, because the parents loved each other so darn well, that they were able to have that freedom and that trauma free life. So these are the kinds of questions I have, you know, why do the great men of God fall to sexual sin? Why are families completely torn apart? Even though they had every motivation to stay and be faithful to each other? And why is pornography so huge? That 35% of internet downloads in the US are related to porn, and almost half of American families said porn use was a problem in their home. And those are only the ones who know about it.

8:44
Pornography use increases marital infidelity rate by more than 300% 56% involve one party having an obsessive interest in porn on pornographic websites and those are of the divorces in the US. People can watch pornography on the Internet, in more is used on mobile devices. But you can even access internet on gaming devices like PlayStation, Xbox and ds. So be aware parents, if you think it’s not happening there it very well could be. Every five minutes a very large pornography website transmits more data than the entire contents of the New York Public Library’s 50 million books that happens every five minutes. One statistic of the pornography industry says it’s a $97 billion industry, which just to put it in perspective, Google’s net income is 30 billion. Amazon is 10 billion Apple is 59 billion. Netflix is 1.2 billion. Now these are all, you know, some people think that the pornography industry is, is 15 billion. So it’s it’s hard to truly know how big it is. And I think also, you know, there’s plenty of plenty of pornography that’s just simply free. And so it’s hard to know what, you know how you, I don’t know how to quantify its impact just by the money that’s being made. Let’s see, sex is the number one topic for internet search engine requests. Can you imagine? How often do you use Google? I mean, people use Google constantly. And to think that the number one topic is the word sex. So yeah, this is shocking, shocking, shocking. And yet, everyone is silent about it, everyone. Oh, my gosh, if you bring up this in, in polite conversation, can you imagine everyone is silent about this? And yet, this is everywhere. It is everywhere. So that’s the kind of questions that consume me. Why, why is this the stuff that’s tearing families apart, where more than 50% of divorces included pornography as an obsessive interest? So these are, these are all just, you know, things and you know, pornography leads also as a part of depression. And just intuitively, you know, it’s just intuitive in people’s experience is that pornography depresses them, like maybe in the moment there’s physical pleasure and excitement and, you know, intrigue and all that stuff. But afterwards, it’s, it’s empty. And there’s no fulfilling connection with it with a human. And that’s not, that’s not fulfilling. Every sexual addiction is not fulfilling. Its soul crushing. I mean, the Bible talks about, that’s what adultery is, it destroys your soul. And so that’s obviously like that. That’s the kind of stuff that it that the Bible tells us over and over again, to not commit adultery, and Jesus says that lusting after someone is committing adultery in your heart. And so you’ve got to be thinking about that. Of Okay, so he needs to stop doing that kind of thing. But what I want to challenge you, my dear wife, is that you have the opportunity to be the seductress yourself, so that you’re seducing his eyes and his mind and his thoughts. And so some women, I think, have this mindset of, well, he shouldn’t always be needing sex, his desire shouldn’t be that high, he’s got a problem. If he wants sex, you know, five times a week or seven times a week, that’s an issue. Well, let me tell you something. His body is always sexual. The average man has about 11 erections every day, and every single one is filling his member with blood. And every single erection is pleasurable. He wants to use it. That’s the nature of how God made him.

13:40
So God made him with a strong desire all day, every day. But your connection for each other, can make sure that that desire connects you to rather than puts a sin or put sin as a barrier between you two. So there’s your why your why is keeping your connection strong so that he doesn’t sin. Now, are you responsible for his fidelity? You’re not? Don’t put that on yourself. But do you have an opportunity to encourage it? Absolutely. It’s kind of like as a woman, is he responsible for your commitment to Jesus? is he responsible for you reading the Bible? is he responsible for you worshiping and praying? Absolutely not. But can he support you by taking care of the kids while you have your morning walk and prayer time with God? Absolutely. There are things he can do to absolutely support your walk. Can he support you by asking questions about you know what your heart’s going through or how you’re feeling and you know, is he responsible for for you To not be sad throughout the day, he’s not responsible for your happiness, but he can support it. He can support it by loving you and cherishing you and taking you out and those kinds of things. But is he responsible for you to have a good life? No. You’re a free woman, you can do your own thing. But he can support it. So the same way for you? Are you responsible for his fidelity? No, he’s his own man. But you can support it, you have a privilege and an honor to do that. So, why do it because of that privilege? Why do it also, why why have seduction as an important part of your daily life throughout your day, not just when the clock strikes, whatever time you start making love till whatever time you stop, to love your husband, because you love him. Because that’s, again, how he feels loved. Another thing is keeping his mind busy with the sexiness in your marriage. Sometimes, you know, my husband was extremely addicted to pornography, when we first met just extremely, very, very extreme addiction. And now, you know, he’s on the internet very late at night, very often. And on his own, you know, I’m sleeping. And, you know, I’ve asked him in the past, like, is that now a temptation, you know, and, you know, it used to be 10, out of 10 temptation, and now it’s, he would say, a one out of 10, you know, maybe two, but generally a one out of 10 temptation. And yet, he hasn’t viewed porn and, you know, since our marriage, and so it keeps, you know, I am able to fulfill him with fiery sexual experiences, and that keeps his mind busy with that sexiness in our marriage. So that’s not what he’s thinking about. That’s not what happens when he’s on a computer late at night. It also keeps your mind in the game of making love. So again, it’s not natural for me to all day long be thinking about sex and what we’re going to do later and all that that’s not a natural thing for me. But what it does do is it when I’m thinking, okay, how can I have a seduce? You know, how can I seduce him? How can I make this playful and sexual? Then it helps me to think about okay, let’s let’s do something tonight, or, you know, how can I do something special in the morning or the or the next day, somehow, some way. It also turns you on as a wife, like, for women.

18:07
I don’t know if it’s most of the time, but probably most of the time women have to commit in their mind before their body responds to feelings of sexual desire. So keep that in mind. You might be one that it all the time, your mind has to commit first, but then your body does respond. But it’s up to you to commit first, it’s up to you to decide, we’re going to make love today and you think about in your head. Don’t say that out loud. Just so you know, it’s very unsexy to be like, okay, when can we schedule in sex? Like, I love the heart behind it, schedule it in on your personal calendar, which is totally fine. But don’t tell him about that. That makes him feel like a chore. And he’s not, you love him. And you want to maybe you’re a very practical person, and you’re like, my life needs to have structure. And so that’s why you do it totally fine. You just don’t have to tell him that. You don’t have to tell him that. And the other thing about an all day seduction, just life as it keeps your connection going. Even if you’re not physically inside of each other. It keeps you connected. It keeps you desiring each other and having that craving for each other. And it actually is a connection. So if you think about when you’re in a public place, if you have whispered something in his ear about later on tonight, why then he is thinking about that and you smile at him a little later. He knows exactly what you’re thinking about. And what that does is like I said there’s a connection there that’s special. There’s a special connection is very different than you mentioning that you’re going to take the kids to soccer that afternoon, that’s that’s not the same as saying, I can’t wait to give you some Penny before. Yeah, before soccer or whatever. So those are the kinds of things that keep you connected. Okay, so I think I’ve given you the why I want to now encourage you what to do. So now my my women’s course, once again, it’s tons and tons of practical what to do. But since this is a public podcast, I don’t necessarily share all of the language that I think you’re free to use, or, yeah, or a lot of the practicals. Because like I said, this can be listened to by the unmarried and plenty of unmarried and people that are looking for people listen. So anyway, here’s what I want to just flat out, say foundationally is, you can be silly. You can be silly in front of the safest person in your life. And if they’re not the safest person, that’s where you should be heading. That’s where you should be going. You should be able to be silly in front of each other, you should take off your armor and be vulnerable and be playful. And get out of your comfort zone. And you can say silly things. And you can feel silly before you feel sexy. How are you going to change you feel silly first, that’s the way it goes. I’m sorry. It’s just excruciating. But that’s the only way. Even now when I do extreme things, sometimes I feel silly first. And afterwards, I might melt in his arms. And, you know, after we’ve had our awesome experience and be like, That was scary. And he’s like, really, you were amazing. And I was like, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I need that encouragement. So take note husbands if she does, and when she does something that you’re like thrilled about, and it’s brand new for her, give her tons of encouragement. So yeah, what what do you do? What do you do? So this means having a essentially a system of seduction throughout your day, where you

22:35
just consistently bring up intimacy with Him. So there’s plenty of different ways you can do that you can you can touch him. First thing in the morning, touch him on his member, you know, there’s interaction, you can touch him, you can you can touch him while he’s got his clothes on, right? You don’t, doesn’t necessarily even have to be skin on skin. But what it does is it shows him you’re thinking about him, you can give him a kiss through his clothes on his member. And you can do that any time of the day. You can, you can kiss him on the lips and just go all the way down there. And you don’t have to commit to an entire experience. That’s it. Like that’s seduction that. That like runs shivers throughout his whole body and again shows him that you love him. You can tell him I can’t wait to do more. And you just smile and you walk away. That is sexy. And like I said, you do that any time. And another thing make sure you always change in front of him. Always change in front of him. That’s the best. It’s the best. I’ve heard that from so many men like oh, she goes in the other room when when I want her to just change right here. I just want to see her body. And like literally, they’re not married to two supermodels. My husband is not married to a supermodel, but he wants to see my body. You just have to trust you just have to trust that he wants it. Because he does that makes him feel loved. It makes him feel like a man that his wife has this incredible body that he’s naturally interested in. He’s naturally interested in your curves and the beauty of you whether you have saggy boobs or too many roles or jiggle that you don’t like like that’s fine that you think that about your body, your husband doesn’t. Okay, so just recognize this as a gift for him. Now I do want you to get to a place where you don’t think that about your body but right now in faith I need you to start doing some seductive things because you love him. Right and we went through all the other wise you should do this right? The other thing you can always do is, while you’re changing, you can run your fingers up your legs and make it very sexual, you can touch your own body, the way that he wants to touch your body that’s extremely sexy and seductive. And that makes him very excited because he wishes he could touch your body like that. But he’s not. And you’ll give him this I have like, I know you want to do this, but you can’t. So that’s essentially what you’re, again, that’s the seduction, the teasing, the excitement. And that’s not when you’re committing to an experience, right? You’re not committing to his orgasm. By doing that. What you’re doing is exciting him and loving him. It’s just like, when you receive a text message from him that says, I love you, babe, I’m thinking about you. Or, you look so beautiful in that dress or whatever, those those things that really make you feel so special. This is the same kind of thing. You know? So keep that in mind. Um, what other things can you do? You can you can, I mean, it’s just a million, there’s a million things, you can do anything sexual, you can just take a part of that. And you can do it outside of the bedroom. So you can you can be like, Oh, honey, can you come here? For a second? I need your help. And then when he comes in the bedroom, you’ve got a, you know, a thong on and you’re bending over, you’re like, Oh, honey, how does this look? Right? There’s are things you can do all the time. Um, you know, a similar kind of thing you call him in, and you invite him to take your top off. Like, there’s just a million things you can do, there’s so much. And again, I’ve gotten already very practical, but I want you to just it’s It’s the limit is your creativity. It’s not the limit is not anything other than your own creativity. So I want to encourage you, there are tons The sky’s the limit. But I want you to know that all day, all day long. All day long. That’s one thing I do with

27:21
my level two masculine unreclaimed students, I asked them, you know, what would they you know, what would be I narrowed it down to their specific goals. And this is, this is an important goal for men. They, they really crave their wives to, to love them in this way. And it doesn’t mean you’re anything negative at all, it means that you’re this beautiful woman who super confident in her own skin and loves her husband. That’s all that’s what it means. It doesn’t mean you’re, you’re dirty or naughty or negative or sinful. It’s it’s the opposite. It means that you have the right perspective on your marriage, and you want your husband to be fully fulfilled and that he’s not running away to find someone who will do that kind of thing. It’s not, it’s not okay. So I hope this encourages you and inspires you. Keep in mind, late September, I have a woman’s course that we really go through it very specifically. And you’re you’re in the support of other women that are doing it as well. It’s called the delighted wife, reclaim your sexuality live in your womanly wisdom, and he will transform to cherish you again. So I want to invite you into that. But in the meantime, my gosh, start just get started. Alrighty, God bless. And I look forward to speaking to you soon. I’m going to add here that if you’re a wife that wants to do the delighted wife course, you can go to www.dym.as.me You and I will get on a call together, we’ll find out if this is the right fit for you. And if this is going to change your life, and you can check out testimonials on my website, delight your marriage.com/testimonials to see what others have to say and it’s incredible, incredible results. Okay, in the meantime, I want to pray for you. And then we’ll close out. Father, thank you so much for the wife that’s listening on this on this conversation. Father, I ask God that you would serve in her heart better and more than she ever has before God. Maybe she’s heard things like this before, and it just hasn’t sat right with her. She’s felt like it was wrong, dirty or scary or silly or all these things that she is just beyond beyond able to do and I asked God that you would break through just through this conversation, some tiny little word that was said here, God that would that would cause her to want to change and cause her to decide. Her marriage is worth that her husband is worth it. Fidelity in his heart is worth it. Father, gosh, she can support him. And she can like it too. It’s gonna become really fun. From silly to sexy to joyful and playful and fun. And she is creative enough. She is sexy enough. She is attractive enough. You’re the one that gave her her beauty. You’re responsible for it. She’s not. You are her. Let’s see her body is your masterpiece. God, I pray you just put that deep in her heart today. We love you. Thank you for everything you’re doing in her life. Amen.

30:56
Thanks for listening. If you’ve been blessed by this, why not share it? Until next time, live with love, wisdom and passion.