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I used to think “if I just got thin enough then I’d be confident.” But, then I did. And I didn’t.
Our society tricks us into thinking beauty is only a certain thing. But God made us beautiful. And when you don’t love your body your chances of loving sex is far lower.
On this episode I want to help you see more clearly and not have the inappropriate expectations of yourself that is inhibiting your joy and passion in sex.
I also have some help for husbands on how to help their wives in this area.
I used to be bulimic when I met my husband. He has loved me through lots of different shapes of my body and I gotta tell you, that kind of love encourages a wife to be sexually free and pleasured.
I answer:
- How can you feel more confident in your body
- Why the negativity is stealing your sex drive
- How you can conquer the inner critic
- The balance between loving your body and being healthy
- What the FIRST step is to getting there
If you’d like more specific tips on how to seduce, here’s a FREE resource for you: The 5 Tips On Amazing Seduction PDF
Love,
Belah
Also, if you are looking to get clear on what’s really blocking you from having incredible intimacy, I’d like to invite you to a FREE 40-minute Clarity Call ($500 value) with me to help you uncover what is really going on. If I think you’d be a good fit for one of my programs then we can talk about that. But you’ll get fantastic value either way! Schedule here!
transcript
0:01
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy. Learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. All right, welcome. Welcome.
0:20
There it is. That is the option one of the new introduction to the podcast. So if you have been here for a while, I would love to hear what you have to say. Or if this is your first time, how does it make you feel? I’m going to play option two. Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast.
0:39
You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty,
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power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. Hey there, thank you so much for joining me, this is belah rose. And I wanted to talk today about loving your body so that you will love sex. Now if this is your first time on the show, I’m really grateful that you’re here. As I mentioned, I would love for you to give me feedback on what you would like in terms of the Introductory Music. If you’ve listened to the podcast before, if you’re one of the 680,000 listeners that have have logged on or listens that have been downloaded, thank you so much for being here. And I would love to hear what you think if you would like option one, or option two. And all you have to do is go ahead to add an iTunes review. Share if if you would, I would so appreciate a five star review. That would mean a lot and it would help people come to the podcast. But also if you would also share something that you’ve learned because that will help me know what you appreciate about the podcast so that I can do that. More of that kind of content. And then the end just right in option one or option two. Thank you so much. Alright, so let’s go ahead and dive into loving your body so that you love sex. Now, for the wives listening, this is going to be directed at you. But there are definitely men that need to hear this message because this is how women think. And it’ll be really helpful because I have some specific things that my husband did for me, that actually changed the way that I think about my own body. So if you don’t love your body, it’s really hard to love sex. It’s not news to you probably for me to say, when you have been brainwashed to believe that you’re not enough. And marketers do that, because it makes you want to buy their products, whether it’s skin care, whether it’s makeup, whether it’s certain clothes that hide certain things, or make you look a certain way, whether it’s specific. Just just tons of different products, not to mention, you know, the the medical field that that benefits from you thinking that your body’s not good enough. But God Himself fashioned your form. You are literally God’s masterpiece, you were made in the image of God, in the image of God himself. That’s every part of who you are God made in His image, and he said, You are good. You are his masterpiece. And if you think about it, when a baby is newborn, we look at the fingers and the toes and the hair and the smell and the nose and the eyes and we just say that baby’s perfect. All of the peculiarities of that baby is perfect, whether that’s their skin color, whether it’s their complexion, whether it’s every single detail. We know that God made them. It says he knit us together in our mother’s wombs. There’s no question about it. He was the one responsible for how you look. So where did that perfection go? When you were called perfect when you were an infant? And now suddenly, years later, you’ve become someone who’s far from that. When did it become acceptable to be self critical of yourself? Would you be okay if your daughter was self critical of herself, the same way that you are of yourself? Do you think it’s a good thing? The way you think about yourself the way you think about your body? Is that the way you would want your own daughter to feel. I speak to a lot of mothers when I work with them or on Clarity Calls or whatever and They don’t they wish they were different for their daughter sakes, because these kinds of things are passed down. So if your answer is no, you wouldn’t want her to think about this way. Why do you do it? And it’s probably because, you know, you ideally, would want yourself and you know, think about your daughter, right? You would want your daughter to accept who she is, and to trust God that He made her exactly who she is on purpose that He made her beautiful on purpose.
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So I’m telling you this with a lot of conviction and enthusiasm. But am I exempt from this? No, I am not. It’s, I am much better than I was. I used to hate my belly, I used to even be bulimic for years of my life, I used to think certain areas were too much certain areas were not enough. I used to, you know, have fantasies about all sorts of different you know, medical interventions of, of making my body look very, very different. So what changed? Well, several things that my husband did, and several things that I did. So my husband’s complete acceptance of my body. From day one, it was like he never saw a single flaw. And it has been like that over and over and over again, he has never seen anything but beauty when he has seen my body. As far as I know. That’s, that’s all he sees when he looks at me. Number two, my husband’s strong opposition to hearing any negativity about my body. He does not stand for it. When I, you know, had days where I’d call myself fat, or ugly, or these issues or these things, he just wasn’t gonna stand for it even just the other day. I think it was yesterday, I mentioned in front of my son that, oh, did you see that guy that a friend of ours? So it looks like he lost some weight? Right? And my husband, like, looked at me and then looked at our son, and it was just this disappointed look like, Why? Why are you thinking that way? You know, that’s not what he said. But if we had been alone, that’s what he would have said, like, I don’t want our son to think that way.
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Like, why are you? Why are you? Why are we noticing
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these things. As though that were, you know, and I and I’m not saying it’s? Well, we’ll talk more about weight and all that stuff in a little bit. But anyway, he just has this strong opposition to hearing any negativity about my body. The third thing he did was his constant and continuous encouragement, and compliments. He just always has told me how beautiful it is, and how wonderful it looks, and just all sorts of compliments. And they’re not always sexual compliments. A lot of times, they’re just compliments about its beauty and touching the places that he finds beautiful, with no strings attached. He’s not touching me to turn me on to make love. He’s touching me because he loves all these areas of myself. And then alongside that, he has been empathetic when I have become insecure about maybe some kind of outfit, because at times I remember and it doesn’t happen very often anymore. But there’ll be times where I wear something that I wasn’t totally comfortable with, because I didn’t like the way I looked in it completely. and I were something and he would he would complement you know me, he would say it looked good. But if for any reason I was the one that was uncomfortable, or I didn’t like it, or I felt fat in it, you know, I was able to tell him that and he would have empathy for me in a way of Oh, well. You know, honey, if you want to change I you know, I’m I think it looks beautiful. I think it looks wonderful. But it’s up to you. I want you to feel comfortable. That’s the thing he wrote always emphasize that he wants me to feel comfortable. And whatever I wear whatever I put on. However I look, he wants me to be comfortable. That’s his biggest motivation. And so what that shows me is not that he was annoyed by me feeling fat. No, it was he had empathy. That that’s truly a struggle for me and many, many women out there. So those are the things that he did. He had again number one complete acceptance of in love for my body. never a doubt never critical comment. And it was very clear that that was not something that was important to him. Number two, my husband’s strong opposition to hearing any negativity about my body, whether it was I wish it was this way, you know, this kind of issue, that kind of issue. But then number three has constant and continuous empathy, and encouragement and complements. So the empathy there I think, is key because of the eating and the bulimia. Early on in our relationship, I was able to end the bulimia as a result of sharing with him, and his emphatic sadness on how I could have looked at my body so poorly. And and, and so that ended but a lot of the mindset stuff was still there. And still has to be battled at times. But for, for him to listen, you know, when the binging would still happen, even years into our marriage, for him to listen at my sadness that I had just done that or for him to be willing to hold me in that and just with an empathetic ear, just to listen, just to reflectively listen about how I was feeling and to not judge me if it were to happen again, that maybe he’s even seeing me eat more than I’m clearly wanting to, or that I need to, but he never judged he would never make it look like I was silly or stupid for doing those choices, because that wasn’t ultimately going to help me in the moment. Just beautiful, he’s done amazing, amazing, loving things. But then I want to talk about the things that I have decided some things that I have really worked on. So one is my decision that I am enough, my decision that I am enough that Gosh, darn it, I have what I have, and I am grateful for it. Think about it, how many people on their deathbeds would
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just crave to trade bodies with you, it doesn’t matter how it looks or who it is or what things you don’t like about it, if only they had your body, they would be amazed they would be so thrilled. So the decision that I am enough number two, my faith statements about how beautiful I am, how sexy I am, how how well I have been formed and the way God made me. And number three, my decision to trust that God knew what He was doing when he created me that He created me beautifully. That I Am that I don’t have to compare myself to anything to say whether or not I’m beautiful, beautiful. I am beauty because that’s God who created me beautiful, and wonderful. One thing that I find really special is that my husband tells me how often he loves my stretch marks. Funny enough, I did a genogram test recently, just learn more about health risks and how to best be healthy and those kinds of things. But it did talk about some areas that you are more or less likely to have. And one of mine, actually genetically is that I’m more prone to stretch marks. So it just kind of funny. But I actually have a lot because of that, I guess, genetic thing. And also with each of my pregnancies, I gained a lot of weight. But anyway, my husband tells me how beautiful they are to him. Because it’s this constant reminder of what I did for him and for our family to give him such wonderful children. And it’s incredible. Almost like this wave this wash of, of good feelings of like, his acceptance of every detail, every centimeter, everything that the world might say isn’t good enough. It’s like no, my husband is attracted to me. I am his standard of beauty. I am his wife, just like Adam saw Eve. And she was beautiful. There was no standard he had to compare her against that was his wife and he was fully attracted to who she was. So I have gained plenty of weight. Throughout my time with my husband, I have had food issues for pretty much my whole life. I still have a proclivity of that at times. By God’s grace, I’m far better than I have been in the past. But I have to remind myself every day that I am enough that I am sexy that I am beautiful. And some of the things that I have done to honestly challenge myself to challenge the the cultural norms of what is beautiful is a lot of times I don’t wear makeup. None. In fact, a lot of times my hair looks disheveled. And, you know, that’s just part of it. Part of me deciding that I’m beautiful no matter what. Also my, my clothing is usually very simple. Sometimes I have, you know, something cute or fancy that I want to, you know, spice things up with. But that’s, that’s the thing I can. And in both context, I’m beautiful. And so I want to invite you and encourage you to think outside of the box, you don’t have to look a certain way, regardless of where you’re coming from. You can be you and that is enough. It’s beautiful. It’s beautiful without the eyeliner, the mascara, the makeup, the dolled up hair, the, the fancy clothes, the, you know, sucking in or the, you know, all the Spanx and all these things, the high heels, all of that you can be beautiful, just as who you are. And I think that, for me is a very helpful, honestly practice for me to just constantly reassure myself that I am enough, exactly as I am. So I think we all have proclivities in certain ways, so certain proclivities to sin, I think, some people have certain proclivities of things like greed or things like even same sexual attraction, or some people have proclivities on judging others. And I guess I’ll mention the same sex attraction for a second just to, if you have a proclivity towards this, it doesn’t mean that you are quote, gay, it means that you have a proclivity towards it. The only thing that God says in the Bible is the sin of making love to someone of the same gender, same genitalia. And I think there’s a lot of theology there that I’m not going to get into, because I don’t understand it all. But I think there’s a lot more grace than we necessarily give. But I also want to say that
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I know a lot of women even come to me with this concern that that’s something that turns them on. And we all have proclivities, we all it doesn’t mean that you are sinful, because that’s where your mind goes. And that’s something I mean, like I said, this proclivity to eating or proclivity to, maybe a lot of people have proclivity to stealing or to greed, or to all sorts of different things, every sin out there, some people, it’s easier or harder for them. And so I just want to give you some grace there of, you know, one of my proclivities is to judge other people around their weight and beauty. And I think a lot of us do, and I think that’s why we are where we are, in terms of our society. But by God’s grace, like I said, I’ve gotten a lot farther than I have been in the past. But let’s talk about this, you might be listening to me and being like, Okay, well, there’s, there’s something to your husband wants you to look beautiful. And yes, there is a balance. And I want to talk about that. Because number one, we want to look our best for our spouse, you know, when we know what form our husband is attracted to, we as wives want to give him that it’s just it’s natural, we, we want to be desired. But number two, you have to accept yourself as beautiful and sexy in order to enjoy sex, you cannot enjoy sex, unless you accept yourself as beautiful and sexy. So you cannot be down on yourself, when you when you feel you don’t fit into that mold. So I get comments from husbands constantly about how I understand them. And that’s why my men’s programs are extremely effective by God’s grace, because I understand them. And as I’m a woman, I work with men too. But so I’m also understand the women so I’m able to kind of translate it from what a woman sees how she feels what a woman sees and feels into what a man needs to understand in order to move where she will ultimately want to make love to him. So I’d like to try to make things simple. I also want to let you know that I am aware that bold simplicity is not the best thing. There’s so many things outside of this but to give you as much value in this, this is the framework that I think is helpful. So I think that men want three things to feel fulfilled in marriage. They want respect. They want to feel that they are enough. And number three, they want sexual generosity. And then zooming into what sexual generosity is, let’s break that down. The three things men want in sex is an amazing attitude. From her, he wants her to want sex, he wants her to love sex, he wants her to want to have sex with him. He wants her to want all sorts of different things. And sexual it’s the attitude. Number two is the visuals. Where he gets to see her body, he gets to see all sorts of different things in her body, he gets to see her in lingerie, he gets to see her, but that lingerie stores all sorts of the duct and all that. So number two is visuals. And number three, for her to love his member. So assuming that you’re motivated to make your husband happy, and to love your husband, the way that he receives love, which is I believe it’s an extremely biblical principle. I’m going to start with that as your motivation. So your attitude for you to have this, you have to love your body. Studies show that women who accept their bodies enjoy sex more. And as Emily naugus Nagaur ski PhD points out. Imagine that you are insecure about your body, it takes away any desire to have sex. So you cannot have a sex drive. If you despise your body. If you are critical of it, it takes away every desire that you have. So you’re looking at yourself from across the room and noticing how something bulges or something juggles that you wish didn’t. Or you don’t relax to a place of presence and actually feeling what’s going on, on your skin or on or inside your ReSSA or you cannot focus on your pleasure to enjoy the deeper orgasms because you’re just so focused on how you don’t look like you’re enough or how you’re not enough. Your body is not that is a huge one. You know when I go through again, different different. I have a masterclass right now
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that’s available on my site that you know, when I go through women go through it with women, that’s one of the biggest blocks she has to live in her sexy self I think is what the name of it is to being the godly sexy woman she’s supposed to be. Anyway, visuals and variety. Now that the seconds, desire, he wants an intimacy. This is especially where women get tripped up. We women want to be desired, we want to be the only thing that catches his attention. If he loves her body so much. For a lot of women, this is how they think if he loves her body so much, it must follow that he loves all women’s bodies so much. So she wants him to love hers the most. So then the only way he could really love hers is if it were perfect. So he can’t see hers unless it’s perfect. And it’s not perfect, so he can’t see it. Now I remember coaching one man, he was like, that doesn’t make any sense to me for you to say that. She wants me to desire her the most. That doesn’t make sense because she won’t even let me see her body. And as a as a woman, it’s like, how does that not make sense? Of course it makes sense. She doesn’t she wants you to only crave her. But she doesn’t feel like she’s enough. And so she won’t let you see the imperfections. So yeah, logically, maybe it doesn’t make sense. But that is the that is the way the thought goes. If he loves her body so much. And he says, you know, can I see you? Can I see you? Can’t you take your clothes off? Or Can’t you? You know, wear this lingerie, all that. What that says to her is okay, you must love all women’s bodies this much. And at the same time, she wants you to only love her body the most. So the only way that he could really love hers the most is if it were perfect above everyone else’s. So she can’t show it to you unless it’s perfect. And it’s not perfect, so she won’t show it to you. So let’s talk about perfection. What is perfect. Body perfection is different in different cultures. And in the technological world, where billboards and internet and magazines show the current cultural ideal of beauty. It has certain contours, certain proportions, certain things that essentially our society thinks this is what is beautiful. And so the interesting thing though, is If you are at all familiar with art history, in previous centuries, it was a very different, I want to estimate something like maybe the 16th century, if you look at any of those museums, or you look that up online could be a little later earlier than that, honestly. But medical, if today’s this is what I was gonna say, if today’s medical technology was available for those women back then. And they saw women with our current 21st century model type bodies, I bet there would be reverse liposuction, in order to give these women some, some, a little bit of guts a little bit of padding around their, their midsection and around their, their cheeks and their face and all these other places, I think there would be a very different push for what beauty looks like. So we have been brainwashed to say what is or isn’t beautiful nowadays. So I want to just reiterate, you are beautiful. The mirror does not get to tell you whether or not that is true. It is true. This is just a an example of a typical experience between women is oh my gosh, you look great. If you’ve lost weight, it’s just this very, very typical, like, oh, wow, look at you, you know, just this constant emphasis on that even I
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meet up with several really driven ambitious women, once a week on video chat, and we talk about our goals. And we focus on what we think God is, is drawing us towards and we keep each other accountable is a great, great group. And so we do a quarter recap every, every quarter, and that helps us to refocus and realign and think about what our goals were for the quarter and how we did on them. And then what our goals for the coming quarter. And so anyway, a recent quarter recap meeting, the one of the ladies was like so I got my goal weight, which is actually the the weight I’ve wanted to be my whole life. So I’m here. And so oh my gosh, we all were like, Oh, that was awesome, great job. And upon reflecting later, some other things that were said on that call, we’re things like character stuff. And things like becoming closer to Jesus and having a lifestyle that’s more balanced based on what we think God wants us to be about, or pursuing a certain thing rather than another thing or making hard choices or, you know, in terms of eternity. It’s not even comparable, like there’s no way to compare how much more important were these other things versus the weight loss. And yet, immediately, our minds all went to, that’s an amazing accomplishment. So I just want to challenge you, if you have been in my shoes literally just weeks ago, where the slip ups happen. You know, this is something I’ve thought through and prayed through and had lots of experience, considering and yet, I still get tripped up in the same exact way. So I just want you to know, you are beautiful. The mirror doesn’t get to tell you whether or not that’s true. The scale doesn’t get to tell you whether or not that’s true. It is true. You were designed that way. You were designed that way. So some of you may be thinking whether your husband or wife, you might be thinking well, overweight or obesity, there’s there certain standards if you you have to be a certain way otherwise it’s not healthy. And so if you’re overweight, by medical standards, then it’s indicative of other things. So it’s not that you are precluded from enjoying and loving your body now. This is the first step to having the body you love is loving your body first. And you then decide it’s worth it to take good care of it because you love this body. You’re not just a brain being carried around by a sack of skin. Your body God made it and if you don’t enjoy and love your body, you cannot enjoy it. love sex? Because you don’t think it’s good? Why would you? Why would you spend this energy and effort to relax into a place of, of physical enjoyment? When you’re like, my body is gross? Sex is gross, why are you touching me, don’t do that. You can’t, the first thing you have to do is love it. And it’s not that, you know, when you love your body, that you’re suddenly gonna not care anymore, and you’re, you’re just gonna all be, you know, the floodgates open and you can eat whatever you want. And you never have to work out and all that because the truth is, if you love your body, you’re going to eat well, and you’re going to want to make it feel good through working out. And because, I mean, everything works better when you eat and live healthily your body gets cleaned out the right way, you, you feel better, that’s called taking care of it, that’s called Loving it. But the first thing has to happen in your mind, that it’s worth it, your body is worthy of love.
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You know, sometimes I think, and this is gonna sound strange, but I think it’s a blessing to have health issues. Because what that does is it makes you have to have limits, and disciplines that actually make us better people. So when I’m overweight, it’s because I’ve been numbing myself with food. When I’m feeling insecure about my body, the way it looks, it’s probably because I haven’t sweated recently I haven’t worked out, it’s funny, because I can look at myself before working out and look at myself after working out and after, I’ll always feel sexier, it’s just, it’s the feeling, it has nothing to do with reality, it’s not like, I suddenly change shape. By workout, it’s just the feeling I have. So even just a little amount every day, it makes you feel better, it makes your body feel better, it makes you love your body more. And like I said, just working up a sweat. I mean, you could do 50 Jumping jacks and do that, you know, probably or you do some, you know, a simple jog, or, you know, a brisk walk where you walk a little, you know, extra and fast and you know, and, and you get there and then who knows if it’ll grow from there that you can start working out in a bit stronger of a way. And like I said, this is for your brain and your mind and your, your body to feel good. It’s not about trying to be that standard of cultural beauty, right? That’s cultural. So one thing, again, if you’re overweight, by medical standards, you may have a health issue that’s not being addressed. So for example, you may have low thyroid Hashimotos is an actual autoimmune disease that if not dealt with, can make you at risk for other autoimmune diseases. And so I have Hashimotos. And when I found that out, I was like, Oh, my gosh, I need to, I need to take this seriously. And it’s more than just taking pills. It’s a lifestyle change, that you can actually affect how this illness proceeds and how so many illnesses proceed, if you can take care of your body. So because I have that I have severe restrictions on what I can eat. But you know what, it’s actually limitations that free me. It allows me with every bite, to affirm to myself that I love this life, that I love my body that I love my family, that I love my husband, that I want to enjoy intimacy that I want to enjoy this body that I want to have energy. I love those things enough to live within these limits. And I am feeling more and more confident because I am loving my body. And my body is feeling more and more healthy as a result. But it all starts with you loving your body first. As Janine Roth says, and women food and God, which I highly recommend, it’s not a Christian book, but I highly recommend it. Given that you just recognize it not coming from a Christian perspective. But one thing she she essentially the theme is you can’t criticize and hate your body into perfection and then love it. You’re not going to love it at the end of that road. You can’t hate your body into loving it. So she gets stories from women who worked so hard calorie counting and shaming and over exercising and obsessing to finally get their goal rate and they’re happy for a little time, but then they still have I have all those negative feelings flooding back because it is that pattern of thought. So I want to circle back to something that I say a lot. And I think it’s so true. But sex makes us better people. I think that’s one of the reasons God made it so important for all of us humans, because sex in marriage makes us better people.
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So a husband and wife came to me. And if you haven’t yet had a clarity call with me, and you really feel like, you really want things to transform in your marriage and your intimacy and, and things are in a rough spot, you really need transformation, then I invite you to get on a call with me. And potentially this could be the right fit for you to really see absolute nine day transformation. So husband, I was speaking with on the phone, he called me and he told me about his wife. And he told me, you know, she doesn’t like intimacy, she basically just does it as a duty or a chore. Feels like she doesn’t know what to do. It feels like, you know, she’s willing to try new things, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t like embrace them or go out of her way to, to figure it out. And, you know, I feel depressed and sad about it. And so that was kind of the way he was talking to. So I thought, Okay, well, I think I’ve got a pretty good sense of what’s going on here. I probably just need to work with your wife. And so I told him about the wife’s program, he made the investment, he thought that was a great idea. So then I spoke to her and asked her all the questions that I usually do, and come to find out, it became very clear in my eyes that he also needed to work with me, yes, I needed to work with her, but I definitely needed to work with him. And so when I circled back and mentioned this, he insisted it was just her. And, you know, I, I spent some time, kind of praying it over a little bit of time waiting. And I said that I wouldn’t take her on unless I could take him on as well. And I mentioned, you know, if it’s budget things I could take you on first and then take her on, but I’m not willing to just take her on. I just and and you know, I felt like I would actually make their situation worse, if I only took her on. And so he said he understood. Well, here’s what he said sorry. He said he understood where she was going to change. But what he didn’t understand is where he needed to change. Who was he going to become at the end of this journey? And I said, You’ll change you become a man that she wants to have amazing free fierce intimacy with you understand that you’ll change into becoming a man that she wants to have amazing, free fierce intimacy with. So what does that man look like? What does it look like today after this, this work with me? Well, literally weeks into our work together, he had an absolute transformation shift of complete. I mean, a night and day difference. He doesn’t see his wife the same way. He doesn’t see sex the same way. He understands things so differently, and you know what his sex life has transformed? I think he even said something like, Well, I don’t want to quote him directly. But I’ll ask him if I can quote him directly in the future. But just he is the result at the transformations. Absolutely. And she is as well. She tells me how happy she is in her marriage and how, how excited she has to see him and it’s just incredible how God can transform things. And but he transformed to be a man who’s living out love and joy and peace and patience and goodness and kindness and gentleness and faithfulness, and self control, and to have a deep love and true and consistent pursuit of Jesus. So that’s who women want to make love with. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of the phrase of Oh, he’s so sexy. He’s so good with kids. That’s true, because women want to make love with men that exhibit those qualities and those qualities are good with kids. So for a woman to want to make love, that’s who a man has to be for a woman to want to make love to him. For a woman who to want to make love. She has to discipline her mind, to not compare, to have confidence, to not obsess with beauty. Also to not have a stressful life. To Be at peace, because stress kills sex drive like nothing else. It’s a very small percent, but there are people that, that feel inspired to make love as a result of sex. But for the vast majority of women, it makes them have a very low sex drive. And then finally, to serve her husband in the ways that he receives love, that’s what she has to become, in order to want to make love. So
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that is essentially why I want to tell you that for you to love your body first, it will cause you to then want to love sex, you can’t do it the other way around. You can’t hate your body into loving it. Loving but your body is required for you to love sex. So I want to invite your dear wives, start out with face statements start out with statements that you say every day, have a goal of five statements that you’re going to say every day in the mirror, you’re going to say I love my body, I love my curves. My body turns my husband on it is incredible the way my body looks, Lord, You created me on purpose and every centimeter of me is sexy and beautiful. And you say those things within Uzi Azzam, and passion and excitement and get your body into it, use your hands, get yourself to really believe it. And pretty soon you will, pretty soon you will. And dear husbands, I want you to do the same thing in discipline your mind that your wife is the standard of beauty. Adam did not compare Eve to anyone else. She was the standard of beauty. She was beautiful. And so I want to challenge you husbands in that. But then also wives just so you know, way, way too many times, I guess what he should say so often I hear from men, that my wife is like, so hot, but she won’t let me see your body. That’s what he’ll tell me. This happens so often. Then he’ll say, Oh, she’s smoking hot, but she won’t let me see her body. That happens so often, that I want to challenge your wives. He is not judging you. He wants to see your body. You’ve got to love it first. And it will influence how much you love sex. It’ll make you want more. You know, if you want more insights on seducing your husband and loving him, I’m really excited because I have a free resource for you. That’s all about giving you the top five seduction tips that I think is going to be really key in giving you that next step of what to do and how to get yourself to that level of confidence. Awesome. Well, I invite you and encourage you to go to www dot delight your marriage.com/five tips, the number five and tip s and you’ll have the five tips on selection. Awesome. Okay, well, I will talk to you soon. God bless bye