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Your first time having sex, was it just like my experience? A bit awkward, NOT like how the movies portrayed it, and maybe even a BIT uncomfortable?
So now that you’ve done it a lot more, I bet what was uncomfortable in the beginning has started to feel a lot more comfortable, right? So, would you like to ENJOY it more?
Have you ever asked yourself these questions:
- Should I initiate?
- Should I just go for it and stretch myself and seduce him?
- Is it okay for me to suddenly change and just go ahead and seduce him and be sexy?
Here’s what I talk about in this podcast episode:
- How to enjoy the process of seduction and lovemaking more
- Why it’s okay to be silly before being sexy
- What EXACTLY you need to do (practical tips and more!)
A lot of people say that DATING SEX is BETTER than MARRIAGE SEX. Well, that is what Delight Your Marriage wants to change. It is our mission and we want to change it so that marriage sex is hotter, more enjoyable, and the best sex that anyone will ever have!
Absolutely NOTHING in this life stays the same. If you choose to change and stretch yourself to become more seductive, then it’s definitely okay! And you will actually ENJOY sex more.
If that’s not where you are in your marriage right now, it’s okay to be gentle with yourself. God is a God of new beginnings. We can always start over and change and grow your marriage into something you enjoy and look forward to!
Resources:
I’d love to receive your answers to this VERY QUICK survey which will help me give you the kind of content you want to hear! Go to: www.delightyourmarriage.com/seductionquestions
Also! Get 5 fantastic and practical tips to amazing seduction here!:
www.delightyourmarriage.com/5tips
transcript
0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. All right, welcome, welcome. This is belah rose. And I want to thank you so much for taking time out of your life to listen in today. Stretch yourself to enjoy lovemaking. This is so important if you want to actually really relax and release yourself into the lovemaking experience as a wife. So let’s talk about this topic. Before I do, I want to thank you so much for giving me an iTunes rating a review, if you haven’t yet done that, I want to encourage you to do that that actually helps spread the word about the podcast and invites people to actually go ahead and listen. So recently received a five star rating. And I’ll just read it to you, it says great insights into a marriage exclamation point, I stumbled onto this looking for some educational bits in podcasts and love it. Exclamation point, I learned so much from listening, explanation and voice. So thank you so much, that was so helpful. And again, it encourages me and it encourages everyone else to go ahead and tune in and to be impacted not only by how to make their marriage thrive, but generally how to be the best person that you can be how to look most like Jesus, and how to walk through that. Thank you so much. Okay, well, let’s go ahead and dive into stretch yourself to enjoy lovemaking. If you’re like me, the first time you had sex, it was probably pretty awkward, somewhat uncomfortable. Felt like you didn’t know what you were doing. Just not a very positive experience. I’ve not heard it aside from movies, right? Where it’s just incredible, the very first time that’s in movies, that’s a fantasy, like existence, or your part of the in point 00 1% that that actually was very, you know, positive and, and relaxing for you, especially as women. And that’s really who I’m speaking to in this podcast. So how did sex ever become anything other than that? Well, what you did was you stretched yourself, you started with something that was very uncomfortable. And you did it enough times that it became comfortable, and suddenly, now that’s something you’re comfortable with. That’s who you are, that’s what you do in sex, because you’ve done it over and over again. So what I want to invite you to consider is, that act of stretching yourself is actually what sex is all about. When you stretch yourself into becoming more of the tigress that he’s seeking you to become, why then that is going to become who you are. And so I’m really excited because I’ve asked a lot of my audience to participate in a very short survey, it’s like two questions, actually. To just see where you are in seduction right now. Because I find that a lot of women, either they feel too silly to do it, they don’t know what to do. They feel like they’ve, you know, gone 15 years without doing anything. And suddenly they’re going to flip a switch and, and do all these things for him or to him or what to do. And the reason I am asking them for their feedback and and what’s currently going on and what their questions are, is because I want to provide content that’s actually going to help them the most. And so if you go to delight your marriage.com/seduction questions, that’s WWW dot delight your marriage.com/seduction questions, you can fill out that survey quickly for me, and what that’ll do is like I said, give me the opportunity to provide that content. Back to you. Awesome. So anyway, that’s generally what I hear from women is they don’t know what to do. And they don’t want to feel silly. And the thing is, I say this all the time, you are going to feel silly before you feel sexy. That is the process of events. You know, I’ve even heard from sex educators. These are I mean, yeah, sex educators and marriage educators where they feel too silly to seduce their husbands.
5:09
And I’m like, Well, what are we doing here? I remember speaking to someone where she was, you know, having a challenge around this topic of should she seduce? Should she initiate what should she do? And she had gone to a sex therapist, to ask if she should just go in there naked and just straddle him and take off his clothes and just go for it. And the therapist was like, no, no, you should not do that. And I’m thinking, what? How could a sex therapist say such a thing? Yes, that’s what you should do. Yes, you should stretch yourself and do things that are outside of your comfort zone. Because that’s called sexy. That’s called exciting. That’s called variety. That’s what your husband wants. I speak to husbands every single day. And that’s the kind of stuff they’re craving. For you to go for it for you to initiate for you to stretch yourself. You want him to be a man of character, but he wants you to be a woman who stretches herself. Who doesn’t say because I haven’t done it for the last 10 years, I’m not going to do it today or tomorrow. We are always changing in this life. Nothing about this life stays the same. We’re always getting more wrinkles, or we’re, you know, becoming more healthy and more fit, or we’re becoming less, so we don’t stay the same. That’s not how life works. And so I know, it feels like you’re the same person that you were 10, five years ago, you are not what you have allowed yourself to think about. To talk about the books you’ve read, the people you’ve interacted with, they change you, you are a different person. And so if you choose to stretch yourself in lovemaking, then you are becoming a different person, your husband married you, because He loves you. And part of the biggest things about marriage is sex. Right? Otherwise, you would just be roommates. And that’s what I hear so often from husbands is like, we’re just roommates. In fact, this this survey that I am collecting responses to right now, one of the husbands is like why is this sacred duty, not fulfilled this something like, like, not keeping up her end of the, of the marital contract? Something like that. And I so he I understand that, because a lot of times men i It’s almost rare that I work with couples that save themselves from marriage. I think that’s God’s best. I think it’s wonderful. And the reality is that a lot of people don’t. So for the people that don’t, a lot of them say dating sex was way better than marriage, sex. That’s one of the missions of dy M is to change that, to make a movement where people can’t wait to get married, because the sex is so hot. The sex is so good. It’s so frequent. It’s so exciting. That’s what is God’s best. That’s what God wants for your marriage. But anyway, so if you think about the fact that when you were dating, you there was this risk of I might lose this guy. I want to attract him, I want to look my best. I want to, I want to show him how great of a lady I am. Right. So that was really important. Let’s say you guys waited to marriage. Really proud of you. That’s awesome. But you probably had that same way of thinking for at least the first couple years of marriage where you’re like I you know, I want to make him happy, make him wild. Let him know that he married the right girl, all of these things. And then a couple of years later, just a couple literally, that’s what studies show a couple of years. Maybe kids came along, maybe busyness just took over. And you just started seeing your husband not as a sexual being that you used to see him as. But now you see him as someone who is who works and who’s busy with the kids and you know who’s supposed to help around the house and it’s all about the family now and all this and yet. He didn’t become less sexual, because you did. He is still that same person who is sexual who desires the variety, who loves
10:04
that. I remember one man telling me it felt like I got trapped in my marriage feels like she lured me in with her awesome sex appeal. And then it completely shut off. And I was trapped. And honestly, that’s not a unique sentiment. And yet it should be, it should be horribly rare. That should never be the case. If you decided you were going to get married, you decided you would marry his sex drive, and, and his passion and his craving of what you essentially promised him from the beginning, that his expectations were that you would continue to stretch yourself in lovemaking, you would continue to pursue him with fire with passion with vigor with fierceness. So if that’s not where you are right now, I want you to just be gentle with yourself, I want you to forgive yourself. Whether it’s been, like I said, decades, or whether it’s been six months. God is a God of new beginnings. He’s a God that says, You know what? I forgive you. We can start over. And that’s what I want you to trust now is that you can start over you don’t have to pretend like consistency is most important in your life. You don’t have to be consistent from who you were yesterday, you can be completely different. That’s the thing. That’s the beauty of life is you can change, you can grow, you can become better, you should never be the same. You should always be growing. We are never done. I am so far from who I was just five years ago. I’m so different. Thank God. And I hope in five years I’ll be completely different again, I have so much to learn. We all do. And I hope that this episode is going to say you know what? Have I stretched myself in intimacy yet? When was the last time I really stretched myself. I would encourage you to do that. Your husband craves exciting, new variety, passion, love seduction, I want you to stretch yourself. So if you haven’t yet picked up my five tips to great seduction, you can go to www dot delight your marriage comm slash the number five tip s five tips. And what that’ll do is just give you a sheet of what are some really fantastic and practical ways that you can stretch and grow yourself. And like I said, I would love to hear from you in terms of what your specific questions are. And you can go to that survey really quick survey I would love to hear from you deliver WWW dot delight your marriage.com/seduction questions no matter what you’re picking up out of this, I hope it is that today. Tonight. You can do more. You can stretch yourself. You can do that little dirty talk text. We’ll talk about that. I don’t necessarily like the word dirty in fact, but you can text him Something bit more adventurous you can send them a photo that would be kind of exciting. You can do all sorts of things that you haven’t done in a long time including lingerie including straggling of including French kisses, including touching as member all of these things penny you know there’s so much that I want to invite you to stretch yourself into so you can grow so you can change so you can love Him the way that he receives love. Alright, God bless you. Thank you so much for joining and I will talk to you soon.