Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Corona virus, COVID-19, has impacted you.
For so many the fear is tangible.
I know it’s impacting your marriage. Sadly the divorce rates in China have skyrocketed as a result of the quarantine.
I don’t want that to continue or become worse.
I want to help you. In your marriage, in this time, is it possible to be a soft landing DURING this crisis?
How can you get better? How can you and your spouse grow into the people God wants you to become DURING this crisis.
Many of us have a lot more time on our hands. (If you’re in the medical field, please know we’re praying for you).
How are we using that time?
I want to invite you to a FREE online workshop: SOFT LANDING Webinar: Be encouraged & be loved by your spouse DURING crisis
On that webinar I’ll be launching a brand new group: Delight Groups to help you stay encouraged DURING the crisis.
You don’t have to do this alone. If you want to sign up for the THRIVE webinar or learn more about the groups, sign up here.
tracscript
0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. All right, welcome. This is belah. Rose, thank you so much for joining me. Would you join me in praying for a moment before we dive in? Father, I lift up this listener to you right now, God, I asked you to meet them where they are. I asked that you would open their heart to hear what you want them to hear on this episode. God, this would be something that would in power them would encourage them would give them insights, Lord, and even if whatever you speak to their heart has nothing to do with what I’ve said or even opposes what I’ve said, I pray you would speak to their heart, God that you are the God that is with them. You’re the God that speaks to them, Lord. So I pray that you would do that, even over these next few minutes as we’re chatting. In Jesus name. Amen. Wonderful. Okay, well, what I want to talk about is what’s going on right now, and you may be quarantined? And if you’re not already, you probably will be. And there’s probably a lot of fear and concern for you and for your loved ones, and maybe for jobs and financial security. And I completely hear that. And I’m aware of those things as well. In fact, I spent some time asking you all if you’re on my email list, what are your biggest challenges in these recent days, maybe a couple of weeks of quarantine. And I’m sifting through that because I want to understand how I can help you the best in this time. So that’s what I’ve invited. Again, if you’re on my email list, if you’re not, you can send me an email, B E L, A H, at delight your marriage.com. And I’d love to hear from you. I intend and expect many, many emails. I read them all. I might not answer all of them, but I do read them all. So you know, certainly have grace with me if I’m not able to answer it. But it does really give me a good sense of how to pray for you, and how to encourage you. And I have something really important that I want to share with you. And I’m going to share that at the end of this episode. But I think it’s going to be really helpful, and it’s free. And I really do think it’s going to be very helpful for you. Okay, so let’s talk about the scary times, you know, one insight I want to share with you is that we’ve actually always lived in scary times, always, even if you live in a stable country like the US, you know, relatively stable. Even so 1.2 5 million people die every single year, according to Google, according to the statistics, Google says is accurate. 1.2 5 million die every year due to car accidents. And yet most people, at least ride in cars, if not own one themselves. And so I think the reason we are willing to accept a risk like that, and not feel so fearful about it is that we assume we’re in control, we turn the wheel and it seems like we’re the ones that can decide, you know, our fate, if you will. But the truth is, one person just has to fall asleep at the wheel in front of us, and we’re gone. We’re always in a risky state. And yet, that’s something we have accepted. Now. We’re in a spot where it feels like we’re completely at loss of control. And it’s true, I think, God is allowing us to really see the reality of our lives. We have always been a vapor in the wind. We have always been here today and gone tomorrow. We have always been a flower in the field. And yet this is our opportunity to grow. This is an opportunity I think, for you to grow. I want to give an example of a lot of us have been addicted to sugar. I’ll raise my hand to that. So I’m very addicted. In fact, so much so that I would sometimes grab a pint of ice cream and just consume it the entire the entire containers that night.
5:02
And I think that when you only eat sugar, you get to a place where you’re like, Oh, I actually want something real, I want I want something significant. I want greens and vegetables and things that are actually going to make my body feel good, because that’s truly fulfilling. And I think that’s where we are right now, even with social media and those kinds of things. Many people around the globe have been addicted to their phones and social media. And we’re at a place now where it’s like, we’re realizing that’s not fulfilling. That’s not sustaining us. We can see that that doesn’t satisfy these addictions. I want to invite you to realize that every suffering is an opportunity for growth. Every single suffering is an opportunity for growth. Paul wrote many books in the Bible while he was in prison, like prison, he was flogged, beaten, scoffed at lonely. And yet he wrote the very scriptures we are reading 1000s of years later, God breathed words. So he used his time wisely while in prison. And if you think Quarantine is anything like prison, what if we used our time that wisely? What if we used our time that wisely? He didn’t have the perspective, well, I’m just gonna sit on my hands. Because I’m in prison. There’s nothing I can do. Even Joseph, right, Joseph, in order to get to a place where he was elevated in order to help people. That man went through a lot of suffering. Joseph had a dream, he was given a dream by God. And then his brothers attacked him for it. They tried to kill him, put him in a well, so he would die. And then he was sold into slavery. And then even when he rose to the top of, of doing the best he could for for his, you know, Potiphar or for his, his master. Then he was accused of raping Potiphar his wife, can you believe that? And then he was thrown into prison. And it was complete. Opposite Potiphar was coming on to him like just like this crazy thing. And then he was in prison. And yet he was like, I can imagine Joseph’s concept of I thought I was supposed to be leading I was I was the moon and in the stars were bowing down to me what is going on? I had this dream god that I thought you gave me. Why am I now in prison? I’ve done the very best that I could. And you know what, if he had not gone to prison, it had he not gone there and encouraged those people that were ultimately going to go back to the king and tell him about Joseph had he not used his time wisely in prison. He would not have been at been elevated to second in command and ultimately saved Israel, God’s people from from starvation in the drought. So I want to invite you to use this perspective wisely. Use this opportunity wisely. Don’t sit on your hands while you’re in prison. Recognize that God has something important to show you. Nelson Mandela was in prison for 27 years. And he came out and freed an entire people group of horrific violence and racism. He used his time wisely. The best of the best have lived out suffering. They have scars. You know, if you want to find someone wise, they have done it by careful pursuit of wisdom, through their battles. They have become wise through careful pursuit of wisdom through their battles. Somebody who has had it easy doesn’t have the opportunity to grow. For example, if if you’ve got kids, you know that if you do everything for them, they will never learn to do it on their own. Like if you don’t let them struggle to walk, they’ll never walk. If you always are carrying them, they will never walk. If you don’t give them the opportunity to tie their own shoes, get dressed in the morning, all of those things. They will never learn to do it on their own. So I want to invite you to realize that God gives us an opportunity in every struggle. I’m not saying that God made this crisis happen to discipline us or teach us, I
10:01
don’t know, I trust God is a good God, a faithful God, a merciful God, I do know that we have an opportunity in every suffering. In every struggle, we have an opportunity to do towards turn towards God. Turn it towards God in it, let him change us through it. Let us encourage and love others through the storms. But I want you to notice the gifts of suffering. Notice that God can grow you up through it, if you reflect, if you take and keep the perspective that you’re growing in this. And if you take it seriously, that God is actually molding who he wants you to be. I don’t think now is the time to complain. I think now is the time to dig in. I think it’s figure out how to respond to this crisis, how you get to respond to this crisis, because people are looking for leaders, they’re looking for hope. They’re looking for those that are going to say this way, guys, this is the way let me help you. Let me encourage you. Jesus was a man who led a perfect life. He was a man of character. He didn’t just make one choice to die on the cross. What Jesus did was he made one hard choice after another hard choice after another hard choice. And if he hadn’t have made the first one, the second one, the 13th to the 25th, the 3,000th Harder choice to follow God. When God asked him to suffer and die for the sake of an entire people. For Jesus, it was yes. Because he had said yes to God’s call and will on his life, every single moment of every day. He had developed a good tree. So the fruit was automatically good. So the fruit was automatically good. Let me read to you what it says in Matthew seven. I’ve been praying on this chunk of Scripture a lot. And I think it would really encourage you, especially in this time. So Matthew 715. Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits are grapes gathered from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? So every healthy tree bears good fruit. But the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits. Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day, Many will say to me, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty miracles in your name? And then I will declare to them, I never knew you. Depart for me, you workers of lawlessness.
13:35
Everyone, then who hears these words of Mine, and does them does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock, and the rain fell, and the winds came and blew and beat on that house. But it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against the house and it fell, and great was the fall of it. And when Jesus finished saying these things, the crowds were astonished at his teaching, for he was teaching them as one who had the authority, not as their scribes. So I want to invite you to realize you will recognize them by their fruits. A good tree bears good fruit in Galatians 522 We know that the fruit of the Spirit is love, and joy, and peace and patience, and goodness, kindness and gentleness, faithfulness and self control. Now is the time to see how you can stretch yourself to help others know that they are not alone to help others To see hope, in this time of desperation, to help others to be encouraged, even in the midst of uncertainty. At any time, we could have lost our jobs at any time. We could have died before today. You know, millions do every day. But now it’s right up in front of us. We’re thinking about it. The news is constantly around it. It’s all over social media. Now, I feel like it’s so easy to see priorities, that they’ve always been there. But right now, it’s very clear that money cannot buy security. material possessions cannot create fulfilment, distractions, through videos, social media, or movies cannot provide peace,
15:55
love, and hope. We need people. God designed us that way. He said it was not good for Adam to be alone. He was in need of Eve.
16:14
You were not designed to be alone. And if you feel that way, in your marriage, I want to help you. I want to help you, especially at this time, especially at the time that you are required to probably work from home, or you’re just around your spouse a lot more. I’ve actually had the opportunity to work full time from home for the last five years, and part time work on my own businesses three times three years before that. So during that time, I’ve actually worked for Fortune 50 companies, the biggest ones out there, the ones you definitely know and have their products in your home right now. I’ve also worked in in toxic workplaces. I’ve worked with people who were really mean, and thought I was stupid, I worked in places that I thought I was gonna get fired. I also built three of my own companies that made zero income, I worked at places that were extremely generous. Even when I was in the hospital for weeks, they paid me even though I was just a part time worker. And now I work full time self employed. And through it, I feel directly in line with God’s will in my life right now. I get redirected by God consistently. I’m no way shape or form perfect. I’ve got lots of areas for growth. But I’m certainly aligned and driven towards God’s will in a way that I never had in my life previous to now. So I say all these things not to brag, but hopefully to encourage and inspire you that you can do this. I want to help you to know the specific tools needed to not just be okay during the season, but to truly help others during it. Many people want to do something great for God. But they’ve said, Oh, I’m in this dead end job. But I have to pay for this or have to do that. I don’t have time for it. Now you have time. Now you have time the possibilities online are endless. Yes, there is a learning curve, no doubt. But everyone gives away their their understandings and trainings on how to use online tools and resources for free. Anyway, you can start anything for free right now, pretty much. So I would encourage you to go soak it up research, be intentional, get support. So here’s what I want to do. I want to support you in your process of having an awesome marriage while you’re at home. I want to help you even in the worst cases, you know, sadly, in China, they’re seeing a huge uptick in divorces. Now that people are outside of quarantine. That is not something I want to happen. I want this time to build your marriage and intimacy and heal you guys, now that you have the time to really focus on it. So here’s what I’m really excited about superduper excited about. I’ve been praying a lot and I feel like this is the right avenue to help. I launched delight groups. I’m going to launch these very soon. And let me just tell you why. I’m going to launch it and then I’m going to tell you what they are. laughter and connection actually boosts your immune system. And what I have found over the years where I found it and facilitated women’s groups that were just about connecting and staying accountable on the goals that we want to achieve. I’ve done that for over five years online and I’ve worked with women from France to Canada, Australia, UK all over the US And we’ve built lifelong friendships that have encouraged each other supporting each other. And I’m not on social media personally, or professionally at this point it either. So no Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, la, la, la, whatever, tick tock Snapchat, I know plenty about it, because I, you know, I know about
20:22
them, but I’m not on any of them. But with all that said, three major mentors in my life. My strongest mentors at this point, aside from my local church leadership, I have never met them in person. And yet we talk weekly, or at least every once a month, some of them weekly, also of my six closest friends right now, four of them, I have never met in person. And only two live close enough for me to see on a regular basis. So the other five, I only connect with online. Yeah, my math doesn’t work out, I guess maybe it’s seven closest friends, something like that. The point is, many of them I only connect with online, and yet I have a full life where I feel connected to people. So we, as a society right now, we don’t know how long we’re going to be in quarantine, it’s really up in the air. And I want to give you guys some, some hope that you can have deep, meaningful close relationships, whether you’re a man or a woman through online means. Now again, there is a learning curve, it’s a little awkward, you could just got to gulp it down and realize that it’s worth it. But I’ve been working. I’ve been running team coaching now for men, even for about a year. And I’ve had thank God amazing successes where a man who was literally separated from his wife, when he started now says that it’s like magic, now. We’re more intimate than we’ve ever been. And they were married for over 20 years. Another man whose wife didn’t want to didn’t want him to do the game, the team coaching actually, when he started, she didn’t like the fact that he was doing it. Now he says that they’re in their honeymoon stage again. And they’ve got a young child who you know is going to be, you know, positively impact or is positively impacted because of their marriage transformation. And then just another quick share about a gentleman who has been married over 20 years and felt like he was bottom of the list, he had to walk on eggshells around his wife for fear that she wouldn’t be intimate with Him, even on the days that he was home after traveling. And by the end of the program, she’s the one that’s asking to spend time with him. She’s the one, the only one who’s initiating, she’s the one who wants to hang out with him. So it’s just incredible. What God has done through these team coaching opportunities, a major challenge for people right now is finances. I really want to help you during this time, I’m going to be offering brand new facilitated delight groups for 50% off your first month, the entire month, 50% off. And it’s, I think going to be extremely economical, it’s a completely new price point for you all, so that you can get the support when you need it right now, right now. So I’ll tell you more about the details here of the delight groups. But here’s what I want to do that I want to give you completely free. I want you to come on a live webinar this week, I’m going to do one for wives and I’m going to do one for husbands. I want to tell you exactly how you can thrive while being cooped up in your house with your spouse and kids. Why do I have separate calls for men and women? Well, I’m going to give you separate advice and separate encouragement, I’m actually going to go through the specific tools that I go through with those that I work with in a coaching session, whether it’s one on one, or whether it’s in a group call, these are the specific tool I’m going to walk through and I’m going to give it to you by the end of the call by the end of this webinar. So it will be very, very practical. It’s also going to be a workshop. So you are going to craft your best life and I’ll be giving you the opportunity to interact with me during the webinar. So if you’re there alive, you’ll get the most out of it. But you won’t be seen or heard by others. So you’ll you’ll be bringing your pen and paper to write notes and really design what a life changing marriage can look like during quarantine. And you can you know, message me during it.
24:55
So then you will get the insights that you need and then From there, I’m going to tell you a bit more about delight groups, and you’re going to be able to sign up for it, which is going to start the following week. So it’s really fast, I want you to get encouragement and inspiration as soon as possible. But I really think that you need guidance, teaching, as well as genuine connection with others. And you can do that online. And the reason I know you can is because I have done it, I’ve done it successfully by God’s grace for years, my closest friends, the ones that I can call when I’m crying are the ones that I need a pick me up, or I need advice on a specific things. Those are the ones that I call that I met online. So I really want to encourage you, it is possible to have a full life, even while you’re in quarantine. And to get the insight that you need and the support and accountability you need to love your spouse well and receive love through this time. Now whether or not you’re able to come on the webinar, you can go to delight your marriage.com/delight group. delight your marriage comm slash delight group. And what that does is it’ll give you all the information about the webinars, whether you’re a husband or wife. And then it’ll also give you the insight about delight groups. If you’re listening to this in the future, and you want to be part. Keep in mind, that your mood, strong and your heart hopeful, will literally improve your immune system. And you’ll be able to help others during this time of need. They need hope. So let’s pray together Father in Jesus name, I asked that you would be with this listener, help them to know that there is more during this season, than even they have space to understand right now you have purposes for it. We don’t have to understand your your thoughts are higher than our thoughts. Your ways are higher than our ways God I just ask that this person would want your will in their lives. Help them to know what to do to be your hands and feet at this time. What can they do? Lord, help them to trust you and above all, Lord. Let them accept the saving mercy of the Lord Jesus, who came from heaven sacrificed His own life so that we could be with you in eternity. Whether it happens tomorrow, or whether it happens 50 years from now. Lord, we are but a vapor and we trust you with the days, the years or the hours we have left. We love you Jesus. Amen. I hope I get to speak to you soon. God bless you. I love you. I’m praying for you. We’ll talk soon bye