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Addiction runs rampant… for most of us. Myself included.
Especially when we’re facing tough things: anxiety, pain, loneliness, vulnerability, identity, significance.
During a stressful time we are trying to avoid the pain…
so we move towards the pleasure of distraction, entertainment, alcohol, gossip, food, video games, cigarettes…
God has specific insight into what to do on a consistent basis to bring us to PEACE.
Specifically, I’m thinking about this scripture…
Psalms 37:7 “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him”.
That makes me what to squirm and run away and pretend I didn’t read it and that it’s not in the Bible.
If I’m really honest my response is
- “but I’m too important to wait” or
- “there’s too much to do to wait” or
- “waiting is not going to help anything”
Waiting feels like facing the tiger that’s chasing me. The truth is when I wait, when I’m patient, when I am still… I discover over and over again that it’s a paper tiger.
Is meditation New Age / non-Christian? I talk about that… and how to ensure your meditation IS Christian.
I share what I do to be still and be present in intimacy and OUTside the bedroom to impact my pleasure and presence in intimacy.
(Also, when “Receiving” in intimacy is too hard, there are other ways that are easier at those emotional times and it bring us together in beautiful ways).
A few resources I mentioned:
The Craving Mind by Judson Brewer MD, PhD
International House of Prayer – 24-hr worship streamed online
Live a Life Worthy of Your Calling (the song starts at 1:18)
Delight Your Husband: The Christian wife’s manual to passion, confidence and oral sex by Belah Rose
—
I’d like to invite you to be on my email list. I send emails a couple times a month and I’d like to offer you some free resources for you…
For wives, you’re welcome to get “8 Tips to Stay Present” in the bedroom:
www.delightyourmarriage.com/present
For husbands, you’re invited to get the “7 Blocks to Her Libido” which clarifies what may be keeping her from desiring intimacy in your marriage.
www.delightyourmarriage.com/7blocks
transcript
0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. All right, welcome. This is belah rose. And I am so honored and grateful that you’re spending time with me today, I don’t take it lightly that you spend half an hour, 45 minutes an hour of your time with me each week. So thank you. What I want to talk about today is something that I’m processing through. And sometimes I record podcasts that are a little bit more about my own growth. Because hopefully, there are people out there that need this kind of growth too. And if they’re not, then it’s a very selfish podcast. And so it’s for me and not for you. So apologies on on that. But hopefully, you’ll find some other episodes that are more for you. I do think, though, that this is going to help you because I have a hunch that this is what a lot of us are going through. And you know, sometimes hearing somebody else’s story and the way they’re processing their life can give us a format, if that’s the right word, or a way of possibly processing our own journey in our own lives. So here’s where I am. As many of you know, I love the personality test strength finder, it’s it’s a little bit less of a personality test and more of a discerning your specific gifts and talents that God has given you. And so it gives you the top five than in even the top 10 of 34. It’s based on tons and tons of research by Gallup, which is a Business Research Institute, and 34 strengths. So it even talks about if if you do the package that you get all your strengths, which I highly recommend, you can also see the areas that your weekend. And it’s not to show you necessarily that you’re not good enough, you know, in whatever things are the are the lowest on the on the scale, but it’s more about helping you to see areas that are just going to be hard for you based on your makeup based on the things that God has kind of, you know, he’s given you strengths, and he’s given you some things that are not strength. And that doesn’t mean that you’re destined to have, you know, a life of struggle. But it does mean that you have to rely on other people, you you’re not going to be 100% on everything. And that’s just the way God designed us that some of us, right we’re the body of Christ, as Paul talks about some of us are the the hand or the eye or the foot. And we shouldn’t be competing with each other, we should be grateful we are, what we are who we are and doing our role and relying on another person do their role in in their strengths. So for me, one of my strengths is activator. And for a long time, I thought that was a weakness because I was always trying to change people. I was always trying to get them to do things. And oh my gosh, I would make my mom crazy with it just felt like every Bible study or every time I was in a group or you know, if I’m leading something, I’m always trying to push the envelope change us to be more effective or more growth or what have you. And in some ways, that’s a great thing. I think that’s a gift God is has helped me with. But what I didn’t know when I was young is it was a strength. I always got to a place of after I had reacted that way in a seat in a setting. I then would get to my afterwards, I would feel so insecure and feel like I wasn’t encouraging and I wasn’t affirming and instead I was just telling these people they needed to change.
4:40
But it wasn’t until an adult that I learned of this StrengthsFinder test and I realized this activator. Part of myself is a strength. And now it’s just determining in what context. Does God want me to use that strength? It doesn’t mean oh, this is who I am. So everybody’s got to deal with This, that’s not what it is. It’s it’s this is a natural proclivity, it’s a natural way that I am. So how do I implement this in the settings God wants me to. So as an activator, as somebody who wants to change people and things and make everything better, and the way that I think God wants it to, it’s not like it’s, you know, I think it’s absolutely a God given gift. But some places that I don’t implement that strength is with my husband. That’s just not where it belongs. And so that is very important to me understanding myself. But one thing about that strength is impatience. It’s kind of a hand in hand with that quality, because I want things to change, I want things better. And I want people to act and I want to act and I want it to get done. I’m not one that likes to say, I’m going to do this and not do it. I’m just not, it’s so far out of my makeup. So I either like saying, I’m not going to do that, or I’m definitely going to do that in a season eventually, or I’m going to do it now. And I like to carry it out and do those things. So I’m at a spot where I’m looking at Psalms 37, seven, and it says, Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. I gotta tell you, even just reading that I’m like squirming in my chair. Lord, I don’t want to wait. I don’t want to be patient. I don’t want to be still I want to act I want to do. And I just feel like God is not interested in action. Outside of his timing. There’s this beautiful quote by peach ska zero. I’m pretty sure it’s from him. I definitely heard him say it. So I think it’s his quote. But it says success is God’s will, God’s way, in God’s timing, God’s will, God’s way in God’s timing. And that is so far away from my natural want. I’m like, Okay, I’ve got these goals. Let’s get them done yesterday. That is what I want. And yet, it’s not God’s timing, I know that. I know that to my core that there are goals in my heart. And it’s just not God’s timing for him. For example, I’ve got young kids, there is no reason for me to work all hours of the day, to accomplish goals, at the expense of my children. Because when I look at the assignments that God has given me, it’s my husband, then my kids, then my calling, if you will, the the things that I think God has asked me to do assigned to me personally. But even that the quote calling, there’s limits to it. There are limits to it in specific seasons. Again, I’m saying these things, because I hope it will help you while you’re looking at this season. And if you’re listening to this in the present, we’re dealing with COVID. And what is your life look like right now? A lot of people, definitely not everyone. But a lot of people have a lot more time on their hands. And businesses slowed down, or maybe your company let you go. Or maybe the kids now are at home. So you’ve got to figure out assignments for them and you’re not able to be as productive in your career as you were just a few weeks back.
9:36
And so how do you reassess your life so that what’s most important right now is done right now how are you successful in this season? What is God’s will? God’s way in God’s timing right now. Because seasons change. It’s funny, one of the lowest strengths of mine is adaptability. And in some ways that really helps me to understand, oh, that’s why it’s hard for me to be flexible when somebody asks me a favor, and I had a vision for something to be a certain way. Or that’s why it’s hard for me to travel because, you know, it’s hard to get back in the swing of things, you know, getting all my routines and everything jostled. But when you think about seasons, we’re not always in summer, we’re not always in spring, we’re not always in winter, thank God. And we’re not always in the fall. It’s, it’s natural, it’s part of life that God wants us to be attentive to the season that we’re in. If you’ve got a consistency, strength, this is also probably something that isn’t the easiest because you, you like things to happen on time, a certain way every single time. That is not one of my strengths. I’ll tell you, consistency is hard for me. But I work on that, I’ll say that I definitely work on that. And it’s definitely definitely a goal. It’s just something I have to work on. So be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. Fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way over the man who carries out evil devices, refrain from anger, and forsake wrath. Fret not yourself. It tends only to evil. Again, that Psalm 37, starting in verse seven. So when I think about be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him, I was reading a book about craving it was by a doctor, and he went to medical school. And he was doing a lot of research around how to stop people from addictions. And they ended up doing lots of studies in lots of different things. But he he started meditating while he was in medical school, because he got really sad he went through a really tough breakup. And his ex fiance was actually in the same class, as he was in medical school. So they couldn’t leave. He couldn’t like, exit medical school to avoid his ex fiance. But so he stayed with her. And he developed a practice of meditation to help him stay present, even when his whole life and plans were imploding. Yeah, the book is called the craving mind by Judson Brewer. So he does a lot of work on how you can break addictions. And the key Scientifically speaking, is about mindfulness. Because when we get into this addiction, mental mentality, if you will, it’s it’s a going on autopilot and doing something that really we know it’s not helpful for us. So whether it’s cigarettes or alcohol, or smartphones, or email work, you know, we know it’s this knee jerk reaction, when we’re feeling an uncomfortable emotion, we’ll run to that thing. It might be food, it’s definitely been food for me in the past, and sometimes I still have to fight that knee jerk reaction when I feel an uncomfortable feeling. But what he talks about is how Scientifically speaking, when you have practiced meditation, it helps you to be what they call mindful, in presence, to perceive what’s actually going on when you have a craving.
14:39
And the way that this craving loop happens is you desire something, you go do it and you feel relief, and it’s this. You feel perhaps pain, the pain of whatever it is maybe the emotional state That just happened. And then you seek pleasure. So you, let’s say cigarettes is the pleasure thing. And then that’s the the behavior that then releases a, you know, a pleasure for you. But then after that, you know, it’s it’s empty, you know, it didn’t really fix the pain that you were originally feeling. But it’s a loop. So you’re constantly reinforcing this process of pain, then you have to go to that crave, what thing that you’re craving, to then get to a level of pleasure. And yet you, you then get to a place where you know, it’s not actually fixed, the emotional pain that you were just going through, it’s just distracted you away from it, often causing the pain to be worse, because you didn’t process it, you didn’t get to a place of peace with it, or freedom from it. So what I notice, especially during this time, and that’s part of the reason I wanted to talk to you is I noticed for me, in this season, I am much more able to, or I have a inclination to avoid the painful thoughts that come whether it’s worry over what people are going through in the world, or concern of whether I’m doing enough or, you know, economic stuff, whatever it is, I noticed that for me, I want to distract myself away from that feeling. And so maybe I’ll work longer, or maybe I’ll get on YouTube and do semi educational, YouTube videos, but I don’t leave that space feeling rejuvenated or filled up, I usually leave that space feeling more anxious, really, though I maybe was distracted for an hour. So what mindfulness does is it gives us space to recognize that the pain and pleasure loop that we’re in, in this addiction helps us to really take a step back and recognize that it’s not actually serving us in the way that we want it to. It’s not actually producing the results that we want it to. So we get to this place of recognizing that the pain of worry, the pain of anxiety, the pain of insecurity, is not actually helped by that addictive behavior, whether again, is it going to social media? Is it going to complaining, gossiping, is it going to eating? Is it going to alcohol? Is it going to some sort of distraction, maybe work? And we sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking well, at least I’m being productive. So that’s a good thing. But what God is inviting us to do is to be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. And then what it says is in verse eight, do not fret, it leads only to evil. And fret says worried or anxious is like a state of anxiety or worry. So do not fret, it leads only to evil. So what I want to invite us and myself to do is this be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.
19:18
When I was journaling about this this morning, I was like, what is coming up for me when I am told to be patient? I mean, I feel like a kid. I feel like this indignation of what I have too much to do. I am too important to wait. I mean that’s how I feel in response to this be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him
19:54
my mind feels scrambled after I distract myself with some kind of have, as I said, My my, my thing, and if you’ve listened for a few weeks, you know that I’m struggling with this, his YouTube videos. And like, the thing is, they’re not bad. If you were to, if I were to show you my playlist a lot of them are, they’re educational, you know, some of them are about news. Some of them are about, you know, funny things, but they’re not, you know, quote, sin. But James talks about if you know the right thing, and you do not do it, it is sin for you. And so in a similar way, that we all have our specific strengths, our specific weaknesses, we also all have our specific things that are sin for us. I think that’s true. And so when I spend time on things that are not helping me in response to pain, sometimes even just boredom, sometimes we’ll do addictive behaviors out of boredom. And then we realize that’s not serving us. But we can’t realize that unless we are really present with what’s going on. And present means you’re not in the future. You’re not in the past. You’re in this moment right now, I have been asked is meditation, this new age, sort of practice that’s not Christian. So there’s a lot of disciplines that are Christian disciplines, that are also happening in other faiths. So for example, meditating on Scripture that happens in in other faiths as well. And yet, it is a very biblical discipline, and it’s something we’re invited to do. Consistently, it’s important to Christianity. And yet, certainly, we could look at other beliefs and see that they too, are supposed to meditate on scripture. But just because it looks like another faith doesn’t mean that it discounts what God has asked us to do. Another example is prayer. Prayer happens in many other faiths. And yet that’s clearly very important to our lives as Christians. So meditation is definitely something that’s clearly in the Bible. Now, they probably wouldn’t say, well, actually, there is meditate on Scripture like there. There’s absolutely encouragement for that. But even a verse like this, be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. I mean, that’s a very consistent theme in the Bible that we are to wait on the Lord, and He will renew our strength. What does that look like? What is practically speaking, waiting on the Lord? Well, I’ll tell you, monks, those that, over the centuries have pursued the monastic life. They have spent time in silence. They have spent time waiting on the Lord. And there there’s an absolute history to it. This is not brand new. It’s not 21st century Christianity. It’s been around for a long time. And the thing is, it’s countercultural, even Christian, countercultural in our fast paced world, because waiting on the Lord means disciplined. Patience, disciplined pursuit. I have definitely felt, well, I’m too busy to listen to God. Because God’s not on my timeline. He’s not on my timetable. He’s not going to tell me things when I don’t have the fortitude to be patient. I can’t sit there quietly. He’s, he’s inviting me to do that, that that’s his, that’s an opportunity to commune with Him. If I want a relationship with Jesus, it’s on his terms. It’s not on my timeline that I get to fit him in my schedule. You know, it talks about love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your strength
24:47
and with all your soul. So if that’s really what we are supposed to be about, then the relationship with God is nothing like our relationship with people It doesn’t say love your spouse with all your heart soul mind strength, right? It doesn’t. It says love God with all of that. So is our relationship with God is on a completely different level than any other relationship. So it shouldn’t play by the same rules. We shouldn’t be thinking, well, if I typically spend this amount of time with people, then that’s the equivalent of what I should be spending with God. And since people speak a certain way, you know, I speak to them, they speak to that, to me. God doesn’t get to be in that category. He’s God. I mean, we are we have the opportunity to listen to the God of the universe. I mean, this is the man that that created it all that breathed life into each of us that spoke and everything we have ever seen, was created. That’s the one we are approaching. And that’s the one I demand has to be on my timeline. What, let’s so far, so far, is so prideful, it’s so prideful. And then if it doesn’t happen, I’m gonna go distract myself away from the pain of any feeling, whether it’s loneliness or conviction of sin. You know, sometimes I noticed that, like God will, you know, have a subtle conviction. And I’ll not want to face that. So I’ll distract myself with something else that is on the surface fine, and maybe even godly, maybe it’s some kind of, again, work. And so that feels productive and godly. And yet, maybe the most godly thing is just doing nothing. With God, being still being still. And again, it’s so weird, because one of my biggest strengths is about encouraging action on myself and others get going, come on. But if I’m going to love God with all my soul, right, I consider soul almost like my personality, my strengths, who God made me to be, that’s my soul, if I’m going to love him with all my soul, that means every part of me is subject
27:39
to him. Because love is boundless. I don’t get to have boundaries with God. How He reveals Himself to me how he teaches me and shows me and how I understand him.
28:01
I love him with all. As he shows me who he is, as he reveals a new thing, to me, it’s my opportunity to take that out of the way of love, it gives me an opportunity to take another step towards him. And so, as I’m sharing this with you, again, I’m convicted, I noticed my proclivities to sin, and my addictive behaviors. So what do I do? Well, practically speaking, I’ve noticed that putting my phone on airplane mode sometimes really works. And sometimes it just doesn’t. And so what I’ve recently started doing, and this may be extreme, but it’s it’s just required in this season for me, is to actually turn off my phone during certain times, like the times that I’m supposed to be off of work and with my family with my kids. My phone is literally turned off and in the closet or in my dresser drawer, because I’m not I’m not going to let my phone be a distraction. And again, the phone. It’s a representation of it’s really distraction. So whether it’s connecting with a friend or texting or you know, these are not terrible things. It’s the question of priority. It’s a question of how far do I want? How close do I want to be with Jesus? How much do I want to follow in his will? It’s not out of fear of if I’m going to be punished, but it’s out of an opportunity of how I want to live a life. Oh gosh, guys, I just found this song. I’ve mentioned International House of Prayer before and if you haven’t haven’t yet gone to I hop kc.org They actually have a live prayer room and you can tune in any time and actually be hearing Live worship, they’ve been going 20 years. It’s amazing. So if you haven’t gone there, I have casey.org That’s my weekly time with Jesus, I have a specific dive that I tune in and just, it’s amazing. So one of the songs goes like this. Alright, I’ll just sing it to you. I want to live a life that’s worthy of your calling, removed from me, all of the things that hinder me from loving you because I don’t want regret upon the day I stand before you. Maybe I be found a pure and spotless bride, ready for King. I’ll do it one more time. I want to live a life that’s worthy of your calling, removed from me all the things that hinder me from loving you, because I don’t want regret upon the day I stand before you may be found a pure and spotless bride ready for King. So I invite you to listen to the actual song. It’s much better than what I just saying. But the point is that, let that be our heart cry that we want to live a life that’s worthy of his calling. Yeah, so I just invite you to consider that. And so what do I also do so so that’s the thing of cutting out the addiction, like, like cutting it off, cutting it off. And if you’re addicted to social media, I was I had to literally deactivate my personal account. And thank god My Business account, I was only on it for about a year. But it was deactivated for me. So that worked out well, I guess, because I was posting too much about marital intimacy, and whatever. So that was fine. So I’m off of social media that way, which is great. But literally cutting off. One of my favorite books in recent years is called deep work. And what he suggests is cutting off social media, things that, you know, take your take your attention from the things that are most important, and cutting it off for 30 days. And don’t tell people you’re cutting it off, just cut it off.
32:43
And then gradually decide how to healthily reintroduce it, if at all. And for me, no I, I determined that social media was not helping me in any way, shape, or form. And I just I, the people that I cared about, I could send a text message to or call. And that felt like real connection. Whereas social media was just a distraction, and often made me in comparison mode and often made me feel depressed and lonely afterwards, it was not a helpful thing for my life. So my invitation to you is to notice, where is your time going? Where are you running from pain, instead of sitting mindfully in it, and recognizing that you don’t have to be sometimes, sometimes when we don’t face the pain, we don’t realize it’s a paper tiger, where we’re running away from something that’s not going to kill us or attack us. We don’t want to experience the pain of being wrong. And yet that’s God’s invitation for us to grow. So yeah, that’s that’s an I’m talking to myself. And I’m glad my husband’s going to listen to this because he knows I’m growing in this way. This is hard for me guys. I’m not perfect at this. There are things that God has taught me and grow me in ways but this is not an easy thing for me and, and so whatever the paper tiger is you’re running away from, I want to invite you to take a step towards being still and knowing that I am God. Right? That’s what Scripture tells us that we can be still and know that He is God. We don’t have to run from the anxiety. Instead, we can sit in front of Jesus and say, I know you are God. You can let God’s peace wash over you. In faith, you can stay in a space of discovery firt and it will pass it will pass. One thing the book I was talking about, called the craving mind. One thing it talks about is a person that had a craving for a cigarette. There are times in their life that they have gone without a cigarette, let’s say they were on an airplane, and they could not even so the craving came, they weren’t able to go relieve the pain of having a cigarette. And so the doctor asked them, so what, what did you do what happened? Then they’re like, Well, I had this feeling this craving, I felt like it was going to explode. And I just didn’t do it and went away. And so when you’re really mindful of that addictive behavior, of the craving comes, you feel like you’re gonna explode. But then you don’t move, you don’t act. That craving does go away. And again, Psalm 37, eight, it says, fret not yourself, it tends only to evil.
36:31
I talked a little bit about this, In my last episode, about what’s your superpower. And I want to invite you to recognize that intimacy in this time is very important. And a lot of times, especially as women, we will get stressed. And the last thing on our mind is sex, we’re just like, that is not going to help. In fact, that make me more stressed. Because I’m pressured, I have to have zag, blah, blah, blah, and I, I know those feelings I do, I know those feelings, especially when it feels like so much is out of your control right now. My invitation to you is to recognize the importance of sex, to prioritize it in this time. And it is not unlike the things that we’re talking about sex requires presence for it to be any kind of fulfilling for either of you, it requires your mind to be present. And so in a lot of ways, it can be a meditative experience. There are lots of types of sex, if you will. And it doesn’t always have to be the wildly fierce powerful gyrating until orgasm kind of experience. It can also be spiritual and meditative and slow and really connecting and paused. And then starting again, with focused attention on the sensations inside. Like that can be what sex is about. And so I want to invite you to recognize that intimacy in this time, physical intimacy is very important to your emotional well being as a woman, it’s important and you know what it is very important to your husband. Another mention is that, if you don’t have the emotional ability to be present, for sex, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have to, like it doesn’t mean that you can’t do another sexual activity that allows you to maybe serve more than receive because sometimes receiving is very emotionally difficult. You know, right, because the the husband’s penetrating the wife’s receiving, that’s the way intercourse works. But sometimes that receiving role of having to have your mind present is hard. And I get that, but you know what, sometimes for me personally, and I find with a lot of my clients, sometimes, the serving role is actually easier. It’s actually easier to serve. So I have a book all about penny, and you’re welcome to check that out. It’s called delight your husband, it gives the soup to nuts. Why it’s holy, why God even has it in the Bible, very specifically, and literally, it’s in there and how to do it. Right. So Penny is another word for oral sex. I don’t like the word oral sex or the words that are like it because I think it gives a connotation of the evil of the enemy, what he has taken what is godly and holy and turned it into sin in in our minds, but Penny is where a wife is is generously loving her husband in a way that brings him to orgasm, and she’s using her money in hand, and that is an opportunity to have her loving him serving him in the way that he receives love. So if you don’t have the emotional energy to love your husband, in this time in a receiving way through maybe intercourse, then a serving way is also a way that you can love your husband in this time. So I want to give you that option that literally, for a lot of people I work with, that can be easier. Sometimes they just don’t know that there’s another option. There’s another way of loving your husband Well, without necessarily having to be fully present in all of your emotions, because sometimes that is a really tall order. But being still before the Lord is going to help. Okay, so let’s talk about what does it mean to meditate in a Christian way? Well, what I invite you to do is get a timer, that’s not your phone. Because your phone just has too many distractions, get it get some kind of timer, that’s not your phone, I just got one that’s a phone, and an alert, sorry, not a phone, a timer, and an alarm clock, which I’m very happy about. But it doesn’t it can just be, it can be a kitchen timer just did that thing.
41:17
So what I want you to do is set it for somewhere, it doesn’t have to be so long. But I would, I would challenge you to do something like seven minutes to start off. I’m at a place where I’m working towards doing it for 20 minutes, at least once a day. But I definitely want to grow that because I know there’s so much science behind how meditation affects your brain. Even fighting off things like Alzheimer’s, like it’s a big deal, this this practice, and it’s a biblical practice. So you set your timer, and you just focus on your breath. So you focus on your breath coming in and coming out. And, again, to put it in the context of Christianity. All you need to say is Jesus, here I am. And then you spend the time focusing on your breath, focusing on the feeling of your breath coming in and out. And then when your mind wanders, because it will, that’s just the way it goes. Then bring it back slowly and gently. Don’t be mad at yourself, but bring it back to your breath. And you might want to say again, Jesus, here I am. And then if your mind wanders again, which it will totally fine. to slowly bring it back to notice your breath in and out. And you keep your eyes closed, and you make sure you’re in a comfortable spot. And then eventually, the timer goes off. And you did it, you accomplished it. And it brings you to presence there that brings you to presence that makes living life in the moment easier. And it’s different than praying. Meditation is different than praying because praying is very active in your thoughts. Meditation is very present in your body in the moment that you’re at right now. And it gives God an opportunity to speak to you and be with you. But sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s not where God speaks to you. Sometimes that’s a practice that, Prime’s you to hear God at another spot because you’re, you’re exercising a muscle of patience and stillness, and being you’re exercising the muscle of resisting running away from discomfort. That’s a muscle that you have to practice. And so meditation in a very practical way, exercises that muscle so that later it’ll impact. You might think that, well meditation doesn’t make a difference in my life. But the thing is, you won’t necessarily feel it during meditation or even right after meditation, maybe you might feel a sense of calm and peace and you might that that definitely does happen. But you might just feel it’s easier to stay present with your kids later. It might be easier to stay present in sex later because you’ve, you’ve created this muscle of being in the moment of bringing your mind back to what’s really going on right now. And again, not fretting, not worrying. Because that’s your practice of bringing yourself back bringing yourself back bringing yourself back.
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Alright, well let’s pray. Lord, I lift up the listener here, and I thank you that you love them. If you want a deeper closer relationship with them, Father, I ask God that you would give them vision to see and to be present to what areas of their life they need to break addictions, to break the patterns that are keeping them from you, whether it’s keeping them from doing your will, whether it’s keeping them from having peace, whether it’s keeping them from any of the fruit of the Spirit, what is taking away their love, and joy, and peace, and patience, and goodness, and kindness, and gentleness, faithfulness, and self control. What action is taking them further away from those things you want us to live out. And I pray that is what they would put their mind to remove from their life is those things that are keeping them from looking and loving and being like you, Jesus. And Father, I ask God that you would give me the grace in my life in my heart to do this. God, this is a tall order that you have invited us to, to be still, to sit patiently. But you are a good father. And you know, it’s important for us. You know that it is important for us. It doesn’t matter how quote, important we take ourselves to be. We are your children, and you say this is important to be still and to wait patiently on the Lord. God give me the grace to do this, I pray. And I asked for all of us as a dy M family to choose patience and presence and peace. We love you, Lord. Thank You. Amen. Wonderful. Okay, well, again, I thank you for this time. Thank you for again, trusting me with your time. You’re welcome on my email list. And I’d love to give you a free resource. Specifically around presence, if you’re a woman, you can go to delight your marriage.com/present P r, e s, e n t, and those are eight tips on things you can do to stay more present while making love. And for husbands if you’re wondering what’s going on with your wife’s libido? What are the things that are specifically blocking it, you can go to delight your marriage.com/the number seven, BL o CK s. And you all if you download those, you’ll be signed up to my email list. And I don’t send out emails very often, but I do try to encourage you. And that’s the purpose of them. So I hope that you’ll do that. And finally, I would love for you to rate or review the podcast what that’ll do is make it a little higher in the search results. So it’s a little easier for people to find it even organically. So I would love and again be grateful for you to share that bless you. Thank you so much for your time and we’ll talk next week.
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Bye