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Hi there,
Hoping you’re well? In challenges, my aim is to keep showing up and helping inspire and empower you to have a wonderful marriage and intimacy in it. To that end…
This is Part 2 of my Interview with my husband about his perspectives on fatherhood (and why that makes me so attracted to him!)
Is it his ripped abs and amazing biceps?
Well… let’s just say he’s got a very healthy “dad bod” going on right now. 🙂
Truth is, the attraction may have started out physical, but became emotional. Because that emotional attraction is there, it flows back into a physical desire for intimacy.
So, if you’re concerned that the “Quarantine 15” (aka weight you put on because of being in the house all the time) has left you less attractive to your spouse, I’d say worry more about your character, which will attract her to you.
To answer the question: what makes me so attracted to this man?
His sincerity. Kindness. Genuine care for me and our family… that makes me want to love him in all the spicy ways possible.
Just by tuning in, I think you can “catch” his heart and emulate it.
Check out the episode: 253-The Sexiest Dad Alive! Interview with My Husband, Part 2
And as an added bonus: it’s more efficient than the hours in the gym… it’s about what’s inside.
Blessings,
Belah
transcript
0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. All right, welcome, welcome. I’m so grateful that you are here. This is part two of my interview with my husband. And he just continues this beautiful conversation around really revealing the man that he is, and why I’m so attracted to him, because of who he is not because of some highfalutin thing that the men listening can’t become, it’s actually the things they can become the attitudes and the perspectives and the character that they can emulate. That’s what women are really craving. So I’m so excited for you to listen to the second part. So let’s go ahead and dive in.
1:08
I don’t know if I said this before, when I said, you know, if, when you were a kid, when you were a kid, and you want to a person when that person wasn’t there, and then be that person and then be the person with your kids. That you didn’t have it. You know, what, my dad, he did the best that he can to love me, you know, not the best diet man, I I hate these men. For so many years, what he has done to my mom, I hate so much. And I feel like I did not have peace in my heart. You know, even my some of my siblings that they keep telling me that yeah, I I want to talk that because the way that he and I feel like I did not have peace because I have not forgiven him. Until I feel like I’m a you know what, I don’t have peace. And if I made a mistake with my kids, when they grow up, they will say, I don’t want to talk to the I don’t want to talk to my dad because he say these things to me like no, I want to get have peace in their heart. By forgive them that person is you know, they are dads I feel like love us the way that they think is best. It did not show we did not feel that it was love, you know, yelling at us or tell us all certain things that do not help us to be a better human beings in that impact for the rest of our lives. And we we pass through our kids in I feel I don’t I don’t. I decided I don’t know, I want to do that to my kids. I want to do that on positive way. You know, and now you know a lot my dad and and we are we are okay. You know, at least in my heart, I’m okay. I’m not wanting to impress anyone about I’m doing better than you are better than them. Or I feel like I’m I know I’m doing the best that I can for me for my wife and my family. And that reflects everything around. And yes.
3:25
So that’s awesome. Um, a couple other things I’d love to jump in. Is that all right? So one thing he said is he feels honored that I share my emotions with him. And as a as a wife, that is a very powerful statement and a powerful way of thinking. I can’t I really can’t express what an aphrodisiac that is. That attitude towards my emotions towards my feelings, draws me to him like nothing else. So my invitation to you, dear husband is that. Just see if you can write this down, put it on your phone, like remind yourself over and over and over again. This phrase, I feel honored that she shares her emotions with me. I feel honored that she shares her emotions with me. One thing I wanted to say is what happens sometimes or a lot of times, I think is that men will listen to my podcast and I’ll talk about penny. I’ll talk about intimacy. I’ll talk about freedom at for a wife and all these things. And they’ll think in their head. I wish my wife felt like that. Well, let me tell you, dear gentlemen, well, women are listening to this podcast when they’re listening to my husband speak. They are feeling that way in their heart. Oh, I wish my husband was like that. Ah, I wish my husband was like that. Like literally there are heart pains and hurt hurts and wishes that their husband had the character of the man I get to sit beside. That’s why I am the way I am in intimacy. Because this is who my husband is, I cannot like, again, I’m getting chills, I cannot underscore that enough. Like, even you know, by God’s grace, this masculinity reclaimed program just kicked off for the second week, I’m already seeing big changes in people’s marriages, like God does this, but you have to change who you are on the inside, who you are on the inside. And, you know, somebody even just emailed me, I think, a couple days ago to say that his wife is doing things in intimacy, she’s never done in years, years, never done. And yet she doesn’t even know he’s doing the program. So God is a God that transforms. But as a man, you have the opportunity of transforming who you are. So again, this, this may feel like, oh, there’s, there’s, you know, there, I’m a focus guy, I want a topic and I want it to be, I want to dive into the intellectual piece and all that that’s great. But what I really believe is this phrase that a lot of entrepreneurs say his you are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with, you really catch more than you are taught. And so the way that really every episode that I have my husband on here, you have an opportunity of catching the spirit that he lives like who he is, you get an opportunity to just hang out with him. So yeah, maybe I’m maybe he’s less like topic focused and oriented and but the but you catch what’s on the inside of his heart. And so my invitation for you is listen to those things over and over and over again. Because what that does is it changes you as a person, you start to say, wow, there’s a different way of being, I could be different on the inside. And what if that would attract my wife? What if I would be a better human before Jesus would if it would matter in eternity? Because all of those things I believe, biblically speaking are true. So I just wrote down a ton of things to say, and none of that was on it. But I’ll let you I’ll let you
7:20
know but this thing that that it comes my mind all the time that he fight thing, I’m doing this, me, I’ll get the credits me, I’ll get the rewards me I feel like and then I will crush me. But if you get the credits to God, yeah. Whether victories, that things that my kids are saying, doing, I’m saying doing our jobs, I feel like and then God is One it provides everything is one to make a way for us. I feel like if every morning that he we wake up every morning for Wake up. And you see your your your wife or your husband aside from you. I feel like that’s the woman. That’s the man that you choose to marry. What a great thing that she get to choose you to he gets to choose you to wake up every morning. Instead of be angry. I feel like that sometimes is hard. It can. It can sound like be ungrateful when we are like, No, I deserve this. So I have it. We don’t deserve anything. We don’t deserve anything in this world. And yet, we have it. I wasn’t planning when I was 15 years old, I wasn’t planning to have a wife, or kids, or a job or anything like that. In this world. We did not know what our kids want to look like. We don’t know in 10 years, what our life is going to look like. We don’t know what tomorrow is going to look like. I feel like if until we realize what we have. And that will start soften in the star making ways for you to realize how, how, how blessed you are. Just to have someone on your side just to have a place where you get to leave to have a bed where you get to sleep soft and comfortable. A roof water you know food for you to to eat. You know, I feel like all the things that you have if you look around, if you look around those things, but you don’t deserve those things. If you do the thing deserve those things. I feel like that will hurt you. That will hurt you really bad. I think because I feel like none of this I deserve. I’m just grateful that I have, and why not honor that, that the things that I have the family that I get to have the wife that I get to have. And I feel like just that every single day, like I said, again, I wasn’t used to be like this, I wasn’t like this. I would just though I wake up tomorrow, and this is same thing, you know, just kind of like how that secure in is that tomorrow will come and you leave. You know, you don’t have the insurance like a car has your break that car and then you get insurance insurance pay for it. If something happens tomorrow, what the what securities or insurance you have that you have another you tomorrow, this is the only body they only live you get to live, why not honor the body and the ones around you. Even if they hurt you, I have this struggle with this things too. Because people hurt me, whether physically, mentally, you know, and I, sometimes it comes and I you know, pray and I say God, you know, you’re the only one know why he did this. And I leave it up to you, you know, give me a lot of peace of mind. It’s not easy. It’s not easy. It takes it takes some years sometimes. And we think that it will. Sometimes we say we wish that we can fix the problem in like seconds. And that’s not that’s not that is impossible, because otherwise, you start fixing things in seconds, and you don’t enjoy how you fix it. Yeah, you don’t see how you fix it. You don’t see how, how is putting all things together. You know, for with my kids, I you know, I keep talking about kids because I doctors were saying different things. The doctors were telling me that I can have kids, you know, not one, not two, but three doctors. And then I you know, I told my kids that I’m like, Yeah, this is what the doctors they told me and then here I am, you know two children. And, you know, for
12:23
I don’t know, just all those things, I feel like, it’s it’s amazing. I feel like it’s amazing my life, how it turned out to be, you know, like, sometimes I used to, you know, get you get angry with God when things don’t go in your way that you plan to be. And they after years later, and then you don’t think about what you went through. You just know you have it and you’re you you work for that you have it. I feel like if you if you we think back how you ended up there and your place in your home, apartment, whatever it is, you know, you have a car. You know, and if something happened with your family, you have a car you can drive. You know, I feel like those things until we start being grateful, in realize things what you have, yeah, but you don’t deserve your wife or your husband or your kids. But yeah, God has given you a wife and the kids in the husband and family, in a community, you know, in a place for you to have a job for you to have. And I feel like that’s more than you that you ask, but we always want more. Right. You know, sometimes my kids arguing to each other, you know, they’re explained that it’s okay. You know, something me my older brothers. We do the same thing. It’s part of I feel like ever growing now we are very close to each other. Can I have some? Yeah.
14:04
So one thing about arguing, siblings. I will say that one thing that my husband and I do a lot is we help the boys know that they’re best friends and that we respect our siblings that we respect our brother. So even though yes, they do do that at times. And, you know, our job as parents is to constantly redirect that behavior. Because siblings can deeply wound each other at a very young age. So my encouragement to any parent who, who doesn’t think that’s a big deal. I think it’s a huge deal and a real problem that I think parents need to keep in mind. So that so that it’s a good relationship because what my husband just said, he’s actually had to surmount very big issues between him and his siblings, because they weren’t stewarded at a young age to be kind to each other. Is that okay? If I said that?
14:59
Yeah. Okay. No, yeah, it’s, it’s, you know, difficult sometimes. But I feel like just, you know, to be grateful, man, if you can be grateful things will change. Yeah, if you can be, you know, just grateful the morning, you get to wake up, you get to see things, you get to experience things you don’t know what that day is going to look like only God knows. You know, this is one of the things when I pray, my kids, if I might share, I’ll say, Dear God, I don’t know what you have, in their future my kids future because I don’t know their future, what is what it look like. So I just trust you that you are wanting to be part of their future, that when they’re coming weak, when they’re struggling, that always calling your name. So that you can enter in their hearts and their soul and their spirit. Because I don’t know, their future is going to look like I wanted to fix their problems. I know that’s not helpful. Neither for me for them. But I know that God knows their future. And I just asked him that to be with them. That whatever this the struggle comes because they will have we all have no human being, I feel like we’ll leave the life wonderfully. I feel like someone will have roughly some will have kind of, but we eventually we all will have desperation, we’ll have all the things that that sometimes we feel all the doors are closing from us. And that’s not a good feeling. I’ve been there. I’ve been there trying to commit a suicide not once or twice. But, you know, China committed suicide. And now here I am. Carry on with with a family. As crazy. So I pray that you if you pray with your kids, whether they’re older, you know, just pray with them. He doesn’t matter. God knows what their future is. And he always is with them. Yeah. So yeah, that’s all I had to say.
17:32
That’s beautiful. Thank you so much any Is it okay, if I go through some of the Okay, so. So one thing that you mentioned that I thought was really powerful, especially as around we have, I think, as humans, this temptation to believe that we earned everything we have. And I think it’s a deeper root of, we want the glory. We want the credit, like even and I see that temptation all around in my own heart, like, I want the credit when people’s lives are changed. I want the credit when you know, and yet, and yet. It’s God’s grace that He gives me breath in my lungs. It’s God’s grace that I have a voice. It’s God’s grace, that there are books that I have read and learned. It’s God’s grace, that I was taught to read when I was young. It’s God’s grace. I was born in America. So I could live in a place that had good education systems. It’s God’s grace that was born in a in a level of income that I have even the ability to understand computers. It’s God’s grace, that I’m at a spot now where I’m utilizing a technology that I did not build. I don’t understand even how it works, but I get to use it. It’s God’s grace, that there are people out there that have taught me different things throughout my life. It’s God’s grace, that I live in an area that has a park and the park is beautiful. But you know, what generations before me, wanted to make sure that me as the next generation coming had a place that was going to be green, and they protected the environment and they picked up the trash and like, it’s God’s grace that people and generations have come before me, so that I can have what I have today. Because I don’t deserve who I am today. I don’t deserve this. God and I can credit God like God, use those people so that I have the life I have today. So God gets the glory, but He uses people for that to happen. And I think that’s so powerful, because it’s a it’s really the heart of pride to say, I earned this. I have the life I have because I earned it. And that’s not true. God gave you the grace to have every little detail that you have. And I think really holding on to that Is is making you in a much really safer position in this world because the truth of the matter is, we could all lose it tomorrow, like my husband said, like, your your family could die in a car crash tomorrow, like you, you could die in a garage, or you could face judgment day tomorrow, like any of those things that could happen, you could lose all your finances in the stock market. A lot of people are suffering right now financially, if you base your life upon the gratitude that all of this is a gift, it makes you much safer. In the long run that you appreciate everything you have today. And tomorrow, you’re going to appreciate whatever it is that you wake up to tomorrow. And again, these are temptations in my own heart, too. This is not something I have achieved, but it is something I want. I want to live a life of gratitude before Jesus. It even says your a sacrifice of praise. And I feel like there’s another verse that says something like a sacrifice of thanksgiving, like I will submit myself to Thanksgiving to thankfulness before God
21:09
will want to say when you said the Bible, they say Love your neighbor as us to love yourself something like that. I feel like a lot of times that I do not love my neighbor because it’s annoying, like allow music smokes a lot. screams a lot. And I feel like, you know, I don’t know what’s in this guy in this. Human beings life. Yeah, I don’t know what his struggles. You know, I, I don’t know, I just gotta, I just gotta love Him and accept Him. You know, it doesn’t matter what it looks like, how much money he or she has, you know, I just got to accept that. And, and for him instead of judging because we are a few, like, maybe just me or a lot of us human beings are. We cannot pretend that we don’t judge anyone. Because we do judge. We do judge and we cannot pretend I am do my best not to. But sometimes it comes in or if you’re like, oh, what I’m doing. People are judging me too. Because, you know, I’m a human being. And I feel like that’s, that’s okay. But also be aware of I am doing this thing I am not who am I to judge this person? Whatever saying or looks or anything? You know, and I feel like a friend was gonna say, but Oh, yes. This one other thing was want to say? Happy Father’s Day. To all the dots up there. Yeah. If you’re that happy Father’s Day. Yeah, thank you for providing for your family, for your kids. And for being amazing that and if you think you’re not you are, you know, always encouraging one another, we have our own challenges, hug your kids. You know, ladies, sing, sing single parents, you’re doing an amazing job to do both. Because I know a lot of single parents that they do both and man, I’ll tell you, it’s a hard work. So I I appreciate you providing for your family for your kids. Even if take the extra job for for you to provide some food for your family. So I thank you and Happy Father’s Day. And just remember to be grateful. You don’t deserve the family that you have just God has provided your family that you have and you get to enjoy how your kids pray every single night if you can free the Bible. One thing that sometimes when this thing, we were watching a movie my wife and then I said okay, I want to put the kids to sleep. So put the kids to sleep. And you know, I just want to put the kids to sleep because I want to finish the movie. And then my son my kids they say like puppy can you stay a little longer with us here. And I first I got a little upset because I feel a knowledge is already put into sleep. You know now you need to sleep. And then I I thought about on like wait a minute, my son asked me to stay for those minutes with me. Because when he’s 20 years or whatever long he will ask me for those things. He won’t ask me. And then those times I will say I wish that he will ask me in a stay. So why not while they asked me that I should stay so I use a tremendous and you know, and I I felt great that I caught myself on the moment that the things that I should do, I must do as a father. You know, if it’s an emergency, I had to let them know as emergency but I feel like if just for my plesant to, to watch this things that can wait. But my kids cannot wait, they grow in every single minute. You know, they’re learning every single minutes. And I feel like just by doing that, you know, if their kid says, play with me or
25:30
buy me ice cream, I don’t know, really, we don’t really buy ice cream. But when they say it, I feel like, okay, maybe next week, and that they will remember the next week? And then you know, like, yes, okay, you know what, yes, you know, I, I’m doing the best that I can. And I know you as a dad doing the best that you can, too. So I appreciate you keep doing the hard work. Because, you know, it’s not easy. You want your kids to be safe. You want your family to be safe. And then you go to work thinking about especially when something’s not right with your family, where you’re have issues with your spouse. And then you just you can’t focus. I feel like just think about that. When you’re, you know, when your family and your spouse, though you come home, your hug your kids, you know, this case, when he used to come late from work, they’re all sleeping, so just hugging morning, even even if I’m tired. You know, because they they’re not want to be kids forever. They’ll be growing. They will. They will see what’s ahead. And you know, I will, I will. Yeah, I will see, see what’s in their future. But I’m sure I will talk the next time, then that’s it for today. God bless you. And please do invest when your kids so we can leave a better human beings in this world. So they can embarrass on their friends and they can leave another community based community in this world. So we can be safe, safe. And my wife has asked me if I can pray, I can pray. I like praying your father. Father, I don’t. I wasn’t prepared for this call. I just believe that you give me the words that I needed to say. I pray for this. Every human being that has been listening to this podcast that it’s been listening to countries got to play for their countries, their states, their towns, their cities, that they they will be the reflection of you that other people feel safe because they are there in their country. People will be safe because they’re in their community. Because they see that document being of you. It’s planted there in their community. And as they see them, they feel safe and they feel comfortable. And I pray that all those dads up there that let him know that that you love them, we are not perfect. But we have the time to do a better today tomorrow. To be a better fathers to be a better husbands better human beings guide to to honor our wives. Yes. That she choose us to be with them. That she chooses us to be with him to marry with you. God I pray for for safety in their in their homes, for safety everywhere they’re called to work to bring their families God bring all those families together that are struggling. Yes. Bring all those spouses that are struggling they’re thinking about separated Gotha they’re getting divorced gotta pray that you please them to bring them together. That they can see that you your miracles, God or they can sit and they can’t reflect what has been given to them. God there is a lot of distractions in this world. I pray that you will not let that distraction to be deeper in our hearts Gotha everywhere we go we bless others in their communities everywhere we go. People will feel safety career their god thank you so much for for that listener and Scott for all this country’s bless them. Abraham, whatever you are, you are not alone. That God is with you. Yes. Even when you put in the kids to sleep that God is with them. God is with you with your husband’s with your with your mom and dad. They just love us the way that they think is best. Forgive them forgive us. And I just play that. I just pray that that, that we realize how how, how honor us. So human beings to have the things that we have led us, not our hearts to take in another way. God that laid us our heart to take on your way. Yes. God that we see the the way.
30:29
I pray to bless them everywhere they are, yes, with their families, when they get to sleep when they wake up, when they have dinner together, breakfast together, give them rest, keeping peace. Yeah. And to be kind to one another, and to listen what the needs of one another. In Jesus mighty name. Amen. Amen.
30:54
All right, so, officially, my husband will now be taking over the podcast
31:09
Oh, yeah, well,
31:11
thank God, you know, he actually listens to every single podcast I produce before it’s posted, because he’s amazing, as you can tell. So anyway, thanks again for listening. And we love you. And I pray that this is a really encouraging conversation for you. And we’ll talk next week. Bye. Amazing, thank you so much for listening. I want to say if you do go ahead and leave an iTunes rating and review your use like an iPhone, you can do it there. Or if you use even a Windows computer, you can do it. If you’re not sure how, with an iPhone, just search, delight your marriage, and then and then scroll down and then it’ll have the stars and you can click five stars and do the right review. Then send me a screenshot of that review at belah, B E L A H at delight your marriage calm. And I’ll actually send you a couple of free videos that are part of my wild romance. Basically, it’s a $97 value. And it’s currently only available to my current students. So it’s a it’s a great value. People have said it’s been really helpful already for them to implement the different ideas and there’s a the second video is about like, make sure you don’t get these things wrong, or it’s going to undermine everything. So I really would love all the husbands to get that. And all you need to do is just leave an iTunes review and I would so appreciate it. It’s it means the world to me. And it also means that more people can listen to this work. So thank you. All right. God bless you and we’ll talk next week. Bye.