Podcast: Play in new window | Download

But the one about “do not covet your neighbor’s wife,” if taken seriously, guards against the “do not commit adultery” commandment.

Coveting is actually a very important sin for men AND women. We each need to take it very seriously.

It causes your sex life to dwindle if either partner is doing it. 

Though men and women covet differently around sex, if given to that temptation, it has a huge impact on the bedroom. 

God cares about our hearts. He cares about how we think and how we judge. And when we covet, we are taking our eyes off of what God wants us to focus on and consuming our attention with things that just don’t matter as much and maybe they are even egregious sins.

 

Coveting is actually a very important sin for men AND women. We each need to take it very seriously.

 

Also, I talk about the sins of sex addiction and greed in this episode because I think they’re very related as well.

 

When women covet the “neighbor’s wife”, it’s still sin.

 

Maybe we’re jealous of another woman’s flat stomach or some other standard of beauty we think is better than our own. 

It causes us to hide, feel insecure and go away from intimacy with our spouse. Leaving our marriage more exposed to potential destruction.

 

(Also, ladies, I still have to fight against this! That’s our fight to win–the fight in our hearts and minds.)

 

PS

If you want the specific Framework I use when working with my clients to help them love–the way their spouse receives love.

When you discover how your spouse receives love, and fulfill them in that way, they will naturally naturally love you the way YOU receive love (men differently than women)!

So go to delightyourmarriage.com/framework for the free download!

---

transcript

0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. Hi there and welcome. Thank you so much for joining. I’m really grateful that we get to speak know, wherever you are in the world you may be, you know, by God’s grace, I have people listening in from 155 countries all over the place. So thank you so much for joining. I am hopeful that today’s podcast and in fact, every single episode is something that encourages you and empowers you, in not only your walk with Jesus, but also in your relationship with your spouse, whether you’re a husband or a wife listening, it is really intended to give you what you need to go the next step to continue this journey. I really deeply believe that our relationship with our spouse is our highest priority. And so aside from her relationship, Jesus, right, that’s our highest human priority. And so if that’s out of whack, then we’ve got to really assess how our life is set up. Because we’ve set up our life in a priority list. That’s that’s not the way God describes it. So I want to just encourage you today, and we’re going to be talking about something that I don’t hear talked a lot about, but it’s funny how often I see it in the Bible. So I think it’s important, but I also think it’s very practically important to your sex life based on the work that I do. And based on I think this is going to just really help men and and women this podcast, so let’s go ahead and dive in.

2:15
In Exodus, when the Israelites are leaving, the, you know, they’ve been enslaved for 400 years, they are learning what it means to be free. And what it means to follow God in that. And so it’s Exodus 20, is when Moses goes up to Mount Sinai. And it is interesting, that there are just 10 commandments that are given. And it’s, I think it’s very fascinating because God could have put any of them, you know, any any, you know, this is how to live right? Like this is what’s going to make your life aligned with the just laws that God put in place. I mean, if God’s set up the world, he knows how best to live in it. So let’s just look at what that says. It says, I’m the Lord your God. And this is in verse 220. Exodus 20, verse two, I’m the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth, you shall not bow down to them or serve them for the I the LORD your God and a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to 1000s of those who love Me and keep My commandments. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain. That’s just a quick side. If you say, Oh, my God, isn’t that taking the Lord’s name in vain? Like, what else do you call the Lord? Except that so if you say that, or if you use the name of Jesus in a expletive type manner, I mean, this is this a big deal? So stop doing that. Bullies, bullies, it’s very clearly laid out, don’t do it. Okay, the next one is, and I say it, because I see it all the time from Christians and in it. And like every time I have a mentor, friend of mine who says, you know, when she hears that she actually prays for that person in a way of like, Lord, we take your name, holy, and it’s separate. And she just she just prays right in that moment, and it’s beautiful Anyway, okay, Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy, which is also another thing that’s really off our list in terms have priorities right? What? What is the Sabbath, that it’s a, it’s an opportunity for us to rest and recognize in a perspective of who God is. And he clarifies Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God on it, you shall not do any work, you or your son, or your daughter, or your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days, the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all of that is in them and rested on the seventh day. Therefore, the Lord bless the Sabbath and made it holy. So if you listen to me for a while, you know that my my husband and I are family, we take a Sabbath every Saturday, which means we endeavor not to plan anything. And anything that that possibly is on the calendar, if it is at all stressful, or if it doesn’t allow us to rest it is we we uncommit to that. And we’ve been doing that for I keep saying it’s something like three or four years, but I think it’s actually been a lot longer than that, because I think I haven’t added years since I started saying that. So anyway, might be like eight years of those words, I don’t know. No, it’s probably more like, it’s probably more like six, something like that. Anyway, it is a life changer, when you start to realize that I don’t have to do anything. Like, I don’t have to be God, on a seventh day, like I, I can trust that God’s gonna be God. When he needs to be he doesn’t need me to be laboring all the time. And, and it’s very important, I think, for many, many reasons that we rest. There’s this great book that I have been recommended many times that I’ve only just started reading, but it’s called the ruthless. The ruthless and elimination of hurry. And it’s just this beautiful. I mean, I feel like I could have written it except certainly not as insightful like it, but it’s just so aligned with the way I think about if we’re hurrying. We can’t love people. Well,

7:08
if we hurry, which in our society, whether it’s Christian or non Christian hurrying is like, it’s as if it’s an ethic, like as if it’s morality, to be productive, like, that’s what’s righteousness is productivity. But this is an old issue. Right? Jesus said it to Martha. You were distracted by many things. But Mary has chosen the good part. And it will not be taken from her Mary, what was Mary doing? She was sitting at Jesus’s feet. And so this idea of productivity all the time is like, that’s just not the way Jesus lived. It’s just not the way he lives. So yeah, I encourage that book, the ruthless elimination of hurry. Alrighty, so let’s keep going. Honor your father and mother. So this is where we start to get into people. Right, everything before now, I think it’s the first five I think I’ve gone through so far, are all about our relationship with God, then we have the Sabbath. But then, now we’re talking about people on your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. This is something I fall short on a lot, I think in you know, again, with our culture, it’s almost like, you know, my parents messed up. So I messed up, you know, this, this culture of like, blame every problem on your parents. Well, yeah, parenting is also hard. It is very hard. And as much as you know, we try to be great parents. Man, we mess up a lot. And, you know, I hope my kids give me grace when they grew up, and they’re like, a mom and dad really messed up in these ways. Like, yeah, we, we tried our best, darn it. And so if we can just try to honor our parents in our hearts, and in our words, again, this is something I mess up with a lot. But again, Jesus does have grace with us, but this is something we are striving towards. Okay, the next one, do not murder. Hopefully, this is something that you you’ve, you know, done a good job of committing to if not, Jesus forgives. Okay, do not commit adultery. So that’s pretty impressive. Right? This is the right after murder, do not commit adultery. So So Jesus, really, God really cares about your fidelity with your spouse, that it’s that important. So then when Jesus came, He clarified that even if you’re just lusting after a woman in your heart, it’s equivalent to adultery. So there there is a high standard and a high importance on this. So if this is something you’re struggling with, if we’re not graphy addiction is something you are struggling with. It is a common struggle, but it doesn’t mean it is not a very, very serious Problem spiritually speaking. But Jesus can help, he can free you of the addiction. I was addicted to pornography when I was younger, it’s it’s horrible, horrible feeling of, of the shame and the regret and the guilt and said all these things, but I will say, you know, I work with many men who can overcome this. And if it’s, if you’re a woman that’s listening, you can overcome this, one of the biggest things I have found is openness with people who are trustworthy, that helps getting an accountability partner, being in a group of people that can hold you accountable, not your spouse, honestly, because it’s too close to them, it’s going to hurt them. By hearing you struggle with, you know, lusting after someone other than them, it’s painful to hear that, as much as I understand it, it is reality. I would not be happy if my husband told me about the strength of that temptation. As a wife, I do everything that I can to, to help him in that temptation, which means I’m generous with my views, variety, generous with frequency in sex, but at the same time, I need him to handle that I need him to be responsible for his own fidelity, his own faithfulness and get with guys that are going to be able to encourage him, get in a Bible study get with other guys that can be accountable with you. So that’s my encouragement there. The next one is You shall not steal. Okay, good. You shall shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. So yeah, lying. We, you know, that’s white lies, right? That seems like a very common thing again, in our society. So keeping in mind, okay, this is the one that I think we just never talked about. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house, you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, you shall not or his male servant or his female servant, or his ox or his donkey, or anything, that is your neighbors. So that’s the one I want to really land on, and speak about the most today. Because

12:10
when we cover it, I think it goes back to distraction. When we are jealous of someone else, we are distracted from what God is doing in our lives, in our heart, what he wants to do with us we are we are looking over the fence at the grass that must be greener on that side. And it’s like no, God wants you to work on your own grass. If you’re busy looking over there, you’re you’re not fixing, you’re not doing. You’re not you you’re not attentive to what God wants you to be doing. And when I look at these these commandments, I think it’s like, it’s a really beautiful building on each other. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever noticed that. Before, that the commandments are very much interconnected. Now there, the beginning is very much about the Lord your God is your God. So so the way you talk about him, he needs to be revered as God the way you worship him. He needs to be revered as God, there’s nothing top of God. And then it talks about keeping your perspective. Correct. With the Sabbath. The Sabbath, I think is so vital because every single week, we need to reorient ourselves, we need perspective. If we’re busy doing doing doing even if it’s accomplishing things like watching that movie series, that video What is it Series TV series, even if it’s getting up to date on on your social media feed those things like they seem like a checklist to do list item that is a good thing or it’s going to make you rest but what it does is it just continues the the effort you’re expending in life, you don’t actually exhale, you’re still oh my gosh, the next thing, the next thing, the next thing and the next thing or play that game with that person online or whatever it is. We really need to slow it all down. We really need to get out in nature and reflect. You know, Jesus was not afraid to leave the party. He was not afraid to get away from even people he loved. He needed time by himself. He needed time to rest there are times that he said after after ministering to lots of people. He said okay, let’s go across the lake and rest. He knew his limits. It’s important for us to recognize As our limits, or we can’t actually be effective, like God wants us to be effective. So I think that’s beautiful the Sabbath. But then it continues with honoring your father and mother, again, with this idea of like, if my parents only taught me this when I was young, I would be so much further along, or if they only loved me in this way, or if they only acted this way, and then I would have a better footing in life. So I’d be able to, you know, but what about honoring them of like, Thank God, they did what they did, because I do have X, Y, and Z, even if it was a lack from them. If they weren’t, who they were, I wouldn’t be able to be who I am. So as an example, I have a friend who is just a beautiful heart towards Jesus, she just loves him. And she was raised by a mother who was schizophrenic. And I think the father may have left when she was young. So if you can imagine how difficult it is to be completely reliant as a child, on somebody who is that mentally unstable, it was hard, but I’ll tell you, what she sees from it is she has learned so much, and so much so that she’s actually a therapist herself. She’s a psychologist as well, herself. Because she, you know, learned so much to figure out how to deal in that kind of environment. And now she’s able to serve others, because of her mother hadn’t been who she was, she wouldn’t have had the, I guess the the reason to go after that field, and to help others in that same, you know, mental challenges. So, anyway, so this idea of like, honoring who God gave you and the family that God put you in, is really important. And then, you know, then there are some things like, you know, I talked about murder, and, you know, that’s something that’s gonna haunt someone for the rest of their life. It’s a very, just,

17:03
yeah, maybe I don’t even have to go into that anymore. But committing adultery, like, God knows what that does to somebody’s soul. The the lack of integrity, somebody feels by doing that, and the and the way it affects them spiritually. I know, that’s the case, when somebody is addicted to pornography, or in affairs, or prostitution, or, you know, all these things like, the spiritual, gaping hole in them is immense, and it is painful. And even when they get out of that lifestyle, there is a challenge they have to walk. So my encouragement is to, to really be conscious of that. So anyway, all of these things really build on each other. And the covetousness, though, is so interesting, because we are really encouraged to not be jealous, we don’t even use that word covet. But I think a good word is jealousy. I think another word that we also don’t talk about is greed. We don’t talk about that very often, unless it’s like, you know, some billionaire or some, you know, huge corporation or something like that. We really don’t use that term much. But it’s very frequent in the Bible as a as a as a warning. And if we are flippant with with not with thinking, that’s no big deal. I think that’s a problem. So. So how does all this impact your, your sex life? Well, I have heard a lot of wives talk about well, I’ve just I’ve just heard both. But a lot of wives talk about body image challenges I’ve had that. That’s a big reason why women are not free in the bedroom. That’s one of the top ones they don’t feel like their body is good enough. And from husbands I’ve heard it over and over and over again, of like, my wife is beautiful. Like, she’s got this incredible body. I can’t believe that she’s insecure around me, like, why can’t I see what she has? And then some women like would, first of all, they’d be like, No way I am not, you know, I don’t even know what he’s talking about. I’m not attractive or those kinds of things. And then, you know, I’ve heard even this is probably like a direct quote, I remember one husband said, my wife’s Miss Universe to me. I’ve heard another husband that’s like, she’s got all those curves, like, that’s what I want. So, the truth of the matter is, a husband would far desire a woman who was free in sex and relaxed about her body. And and, you know, very generous with her visuals and happy to share them, he would prefer that over a woman that, you know has perfect proportions, but is obsessed with dieting and exercise and you know is insecure about her, her body and you know, doesn’t, doesn’t feel she’s good enough and all this insecurity, like, the most attractive trait is confidence. So my encouragement to a wife listening is the freedom is the thing that attracts your husband. The the perfect proportions is just not something he, first of all, he probably doesn’t even notice. You know, you’re harder on yourself than than he ever will be. A lot of men are, tell me things like, If only she could see herself, the way that I see her. If only she could see how beautiful she really is. You know, God made your husband with a desire for female curves, and he married you because he really likes yours.

21:19
So when we as women, so I’m talking to the women right now, when we as women are coveting somebody else’s body type or shape, or the way that either they naturally look or the way they’ve killed in the gym. So they look like that, or they’ve had some kind of surgery to look like that whatever, when we are jealous of that. It is actually keeping us from being free in bed. So it’s kind of robbing our own spouse of the joy that God created him to have that he’s supposed to be satisfied with his wife’s curves. That’s what it even says biblically. And proverbs five, it’s, it’s all about being satisfied with your own spouse. And if you’re concerned that he is comparing you or thinking about others, the truth of the matter is you’re thinking about others. And so you’re actually the one that needs to fix the mind so that you are present and able to be free. But that if you think about it, it is a sin to covet somebody else’s body, it is a sin. It’s in the list with murder. Like that’s in the list. So I have been absolutely guilty of this. Just because it’s a common sin doesn’t mean we don’t need to repent and take it seriously. I’ll just say it again, just because coveting is a common sin doesn’t mean that we don’t need to repent and take it seriously.

23:14
When I was reading through this, Proverbs 1430 It says, a tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot. And when I was journaling, that’s what I do when I when I read the Bible is I journal out the scripture when I’m like reading just a couple of few verses or a chapter or something, I journal out the scripture that means something to me, and then I try to pray to God through my journal. So I said, Why would God care that we not covet it’s a distraction against God’s will. So God, I want to stop any habits that tempt me to cover it. And so for me that that includes things around my ministry, like am I looking at other ministries? Am I looking at numbers? Am I that kind of thing? Another one about too much TV or movies that you know, make me make me either jealous of other people’s lives or those kinds of things. Let’s see. So anyway, so So there’s just like, What habits that’s the piece I wanted to say, What habits are tempting us to cover it? A lot of people are thinking about are big into social media. And so I mean, that’s such an easy ground to cover of be jealous of other people’s life and how much fun other people are having and and how just what their life looks like what new toy did they just purchase, you know, whatever it is, or how beautiful they look or how skinny they look or So that’s that. So for women, I want to encourage you coveting is a sin. So be careful, repent and change your habits. So, you know, if you’re, if you are thinking about the way you look so much so that you’re not free in intimacy, maybe it’s time to throw away the scale, maybe it’s time to be more interested in in other things instead of Yeah, focusing on I don’t know, following Instagram, people that are super fit and, and shaming yourself because you’re not as fit as them. Like, that’s just another form of covetousness. Alright, let’s talk to men right now. If you are, if here’s what I want to say, the way you think about women’s bodies, matters to your sex life, the way you think about women’s bodies matters to your sex life, if you think there is an ideal shape to a woman, if you think there’s a ideal, I don’t know, waistline, busline, perky, all that stuff, it’s going to affect your sex life, it’s going to affect the way your wife sees herself, which allows, which, which causes her to be insecure. So everything I just said to women, is for women’s minds and hearts. So if I was only coaching the woman, that’s where I would stop, but because you may be a man listening, you need to discipline your own heart. So that you don’t have a standard of beauty outside of your wife, your wife is the pinnacle of beauty. She is the pinnacle of beauty. I don’t think it is right, or godly, to say, Oh, this is my type. This is my type. If you married someone, she is your type. Like she the number one like she is your type. So having this idea in your head of like, Oh, well that that proportion, or that thing is is more attractive to me. Um, we all have temptations. We all have proclivities, but don’t don’t accept your sinful nature as who you are. It’s this very strange idea that some people have of like, they’re married, and yet they still are, are exploring their sexuality or their their likes, and attractiveness and all that as though they were single. When you get married, you cut off all other options. They are your only type, full stop, you’re no longer thinking, Oh, I’m into this skin color with this body shape with this face look

28:05
and all these things. It’s like, why is your mind even going there? Like, clearly you’re not thinking about what God cares about. And if you are inundated with that kind of messaging, it’s from the world, it’s so outside of God’s will. Personally, I am extremely careful with what I watch in movies and TV and that kind of thing. Like I say that because I don’t want the world’s ideas infiltrating my mind. I would rather be aloof to what people are talking about or thinking about, rather than me being on the same wavelength and sinning in the same ways. So, like undermining of a woman’s confidence if you bring up somebody else’s beauty, or you judge somebody else’s beauty in this way, so if you say something like, wow, they really let themselves go. That makes your wife immediately think, Oh, he’s judging me that same way. If he judged someone else that way, he’s judging me that way. Or if a husband says if there’s like a game that some people play of like, gosh, it’s just ridiculous things like, If you could choose any celebrity, who would it be? You know, who’s the Who’s your favorite of the celebrities to think is beautiful or whatever. I don’t care what your answer is. It’s going to be someone other than your spouse and it’s going to make your spouse feel like that’s who you’re comparing her to. That should never be in her head ever. So your response can be Oh, my wife, you can say her name right there. Like that’s, that’s the way you respond to those kinds of situations, you should never be thinking that it’s okay to judge people with your spouse and think, Oh, this is just playful, there’s no effect. Well, if your wife isn’t as free as you want her to be in sexual intimacy, those things have effects. They have effects because every time you compare beauty or judge beauty, it helps her to know okay, well, he’s judging me the same way. He’s judging me the same way. That’s why it’s also extremely damaging for people to gossip, even with their spouse, even with your spouse, because once you hear somebody else’s gossip, you know how they judge people. And we all judge people, my heart, I’m constantly like, God, give me the grace, forgive me for that judgment helped me Help me Help me, you know, but if you’re judging people, and you’re sharing it with others, it’s a very concrete judgment and you’re in it affects the way your spouse sees you. And their confidence, their ability to be confident around you. So, so do not cover it. Do not in your heart, think it’s okay to have a, a wish that your spouse was a certain way, or looked a certain way. That’s not okay. It is okay for you to accept and adore and appreciate the specific details of your spouse, the more you think and meditate on your spouse’s beauty, it’s going to give you more interest and more attraction. I’ve heard a husband say like, when they got off their addiction of pornography, they were like, Whoa, how did I not notice the beauty of my own wife, when you start to have a single focus on your own spouse, your attraction will increase, your attraction will increase. But this is a discipline, you’ve got to decide in your own heart you’re going to do. And so if your spouse ever asked you if they look fat, or if any, any of this, they look gorgeous. They’re the they’re the daughter of the King of kings, he designed their curves, their beauty, you have royalty standing there in front of you, and you better darn give her a really good compliment. Seriously, she is amazing, regardless of her age, regardless of her weight.

32:39
She is gorgeous. And you have to believe that and help her to believe that to

32:45
you were given a gift when you were given your wife.

32:54
And so it’s your opportunity to help her to believe that about herself. And it’s an opportunity for her. If you’re a wife, listening, to help yourself, believe that about yourself. And you can get to a place where you are more free with your spouse because you know, you’re not going to be judged. You know, you’re going to be accepted and loved and appreciated for who you are in intimacy, in all ways, when you are naked and open with your spouse and vulnerable. And he appreciates all that you do all that you give all that you bring. That is my goal and aim for you. And so when we don’t cover it, we are appreciating what we have, what we have been given the gift, the good things. And so I mentioned a little bit about greed earlier, but I do think it’s important to touch on it one more time. Because what is greed? But jealousy of somebody else’s wealth, right, wanting more, wanting more, wanting more. And so when we have something like a rest day, and we have decided I am content, I’m satisfied, I’m at peace. I am grateful. I am relaxed, I am free. I mean that’s that’s what helps us not be greedy. It’s what helps us not be coveting when we spend time deciding I am at peace. I am relaxed. I am resting. There was a scripture I was looking at this morning that is interesting. It’s um, First Corinthians five it talks a lot about sexual immorality. But then it talks about how it says a five verse nine, I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people. Not all meaning the sexual, sexually immoral of this world or the gradients swindlers are adulterers, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of Brother in if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, which I think is really interesting. To me that’s this says that. Well, let me let me actually keep going, who bears the name of Brother if he is guilty of sexually immoral sexual immorality or greed? Or is an idolatry Revealer drunkard or swindler not even to eat with such a one? Four, what have I do to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church, whom you are to judge? God judges those outside? purge the evil person from among you? So here’s, here’s what I hear. There is a lot of judgment around the world around sexual immorality. I mean, homosexuality is is one of the biggest, you know, contentions that the church has with the world right now. And, you know, I’ve got, I’ve got conviction about that. But my, I’m, my biggest conviction is for us to love the world. They are not to be held to the standard of believing in Christianity when they’re not Christians, like why are we? It’s like, being angry at non Christians for not praying, because, but they’re they, they don’t believe in Jesus. So how am I going to judge them like that? Like, that’s God, it even is so clear. God judges the outsiders. But the people who call themselves Christians, that’s something that we need to be more careful about. But I think it’s really fascinating that it says, guilty of sexual immorality or greed. So obviously, with this, my work here, I’m talking about sexual immorality all the time, right? We just talked a lot about pornography, we talked a lot about, like, be satisfied with your spouse, stay in the confines of your marriage, stay with what you have. Greed is the same thing. Be satisfied with what you have, stay in the confines of what you have, stick with what God has given you. Like? Why don’t we see that is so much of a big deal? Why are we not thinking and being careful in our heart? Am I being greedy? We need to be careful. We need to be thinking about that and prayerful about that. And we need to be really conscious of what we do with our money.

37:50
I will say that when I when I do my money in alignment with God’s heart it there is just a lightness. There is a there is a peace there is a ah, everything’s gonna be okay. Like when I give in alignment with God’s heart, I just like wow, I can exhale. But greed and I also know the feeling of greed of like, oh my gosh, I don’t have enough, I don’t have enough I have to keep this I can’t, can’t get that I get like this, this like tightness and, and it’s the same way of like, instead that just the peace of God has given me plenty, so much so that I can give. And I guess that’s the same thing I keep wanting to talk about the Sabbath. Like it’s the same idea of like, God has given me plenty, I can relax, I can be at peace. There is enough. So those are my encouragement today. When you covet others, whether it’s their money, whether it’s their spouse. It is absolutely detrimental to your ability to walk in God’s ways. So that’s what I want to encourage you of is for men and for women to be Be careful of your heart. Be careful of your mind. If adultery matters that much to God, that it’s up there, right under murder, then as a wife, you need to take it darn seriously and as a husband, you need to take it darn seriously. You both have an opportunity to discipline your heart to make sure that that is protected in your life. Because it really does matter to God. It really does matter to him. And there’s a reason our system It is obsessed with sex because it is powerful and we could even throw that up there with you know us make no idol above me. Right with where God is talking about God is number one, but so many people in this world have sex is number one, right? Whatever is gonna make them a better player, whatever is gonna make them get more hookups, whatever is gonna make them more popular so they can get, you know, whatever. I mean, we need to be conscious, you know, greed is also another idol of our, of our society. So I would love for you to just this week, meditate on? Where is your heart? Are you coveting others? Or are you content with what God has given you, and living within that, to pursue his call in your life that we’re not running around like Martha distracted, but instead, we’re married, where we’re fixated on what Jesus has for us. So that’s what I want for you. Let’s go ahead and pray. Father, thank you so much for the person listening. It’s so beautiful that your law brings us closer to your heart, God. It is. It’s an important thing, that you gave us these these principles to live by when we when we give ourselves to them, you. You bless us in a way in in the inside, it doesn’t promise that we’ll be blessed on the outside necessarily, but we live in a way that’s different. We live in love and act like Jesus did. Jesus talked so much about greed, and how destroy and destructive it is give us the grace to to evaluate our own perceptions of more, whether it’s more money, whether it’s more access, or what have you with coveting in any realm, in every realm. Give us the grace, I pray for this particular person that you would bless their marriage, bless their hearts, bless them for the nugget of insight that you wanted them to have from this conversation, Lord.

42:15
Bring them closer to yourself, you have such an eye on them, you care about them, you want them closer to your heart, and I pray that you would give them the grace to grow closer to you even this moment, they would, they would leave this episode with a renewed sense of contentment. In their heart, in Jesus name. Amen. I do have one action item for you. Something that I do every morning is I write out 10 things I’m grateful for. And especially with where our world is right now, there’s a lot of hardship and heartache and difficulty. And that helps me to recognize you know, what, if there’s lots of things to be sad about, but I have at least 10 things to be grateful for. I at least have done things to be grateful, though I’ve got socks on, I’ve got my coffee, my Bible, there’s, you know, my kids are not screaming in the background, I don’t have anything stuck in my teeth, there’s just there are things to be grateful for. And that seeds. It’s SOS seeds of contentment in your heart. So I want to encourage you to try that out. And if you can’t get to 10, start out by two every morning, and then see if you can grow to three and see if you can get to 10 Eventually. And I’ll tell you on the hard days when it’s like storming out or there’s something really on my mind, I, I decide I’m committing to more than that. So for example, I don’t know today, I got to 23. Yesterday was a was a difficult day for me. So I got up to 32. And it really helped. It really helps. So I encourage you to start, start trying that out. Just to set your morning in a way of contentment, and gratitude to God for all that He has given you and what you do have. All right, wonderful. Well, thank you for listening, I do have a free resource that I’d love for you to have to get a bit more insight on the way. God wants you to love your spouse the way that they receive love. And I’d love to give you a free download. It’s called delight your marriage.com/framework. So that that’s the website. And it’s a framework. It’s a PDF kind of explaining this framework of like, what matters most to a husband what matters most to wife. So when they’re filled up in those ways, they naturally respond to fill up their spouse. All right, God bless you. Thank you so much for listening, and I look forward to talking to you next week.

44:47
Bye