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Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. Hi, there. Welcome. Welcome. Thank you so much for joining me, this is Bella. And I am releasing this on election day 2020 In the US, so I want to talk about Thanksgiving. Because the day of the US Thanksgiving is coming up soon. But I actually see Thanksgiving, all the time in the Bible. And depending on what happens this election, I think, you know, 50% of the country is going to have a challenge. And maybe maybe more than that even even those that got what they wanted. It’s it’s challenging, nonetheless. So I want to talk about that. And what this all has to do with your marriage and with your intimacy. So let’s go ahead and pray. Father, I just thank You, Lord, that you are a big God, there’s so much bigger than us. Father, I pray that wherever this person is, that you would be present with them, you would remind them that you have the world under control that you are not worried. You are not anxious, you are not concerned. Lord, I pray for our ability to trust you. Even right now, even in this time, in Jesus name, Amen.
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All right, well, let’s just first talk about the election. As I’m recording this, before, I know what happened, I’m very excited to share the journey I’ve gone through around it. Number one is, I have strong opinions around who I have prayed for and voted for, and donated money to, I really have felt a strong conviction around it. I’m not going to share who I voted for because that won’t help our conversation. But where I’ve come to have peace is that Jesus walked the earth in an extremely politically volatile time. In fact, there were absolute enemies in that time period, because the Jewish people were the oppressed people. And the those that, that, you know, the Roman Empire was the power that required money, the the taxpayers were taking more than what they even should have. And the other thing that we have to remember is this power. This Roman Empire was doing horrific things. Even when Jesus was born, remember, King Herod wanted to kill the potential King of the Jews. And so he killed all of the baby boys, hoping that he would get Jesus. And that’s when Jesus became a refugee in Egypt, with his parents and imagine the life he grew up in, in Egypt. But Herod was horrible. And if he was willing to do something as absolutely grotesque as murder all these infant boys, I mean, imagine what else he was willing to do in his kingdom. So imagine if you were in that time, I mean, where would you fall on the spectrum? I mean, for me, I’d be wanting to fight for good and, and topple the government and all these sorts of things. And it’s interesting because Jesus hung out with the, quote, enemy. He went and spent time at Zacchaeus his house in the midst of like Wyatt that Zacchaeus is stealing money from poor people. I can imagine the poor people don’t even have a lot of money to begin with. Right. And this horrific government Zacchaeus is defending and in fighting for And yet Jesus is acting like it’s okay. Just by associating with these people, it seems like a tacit approval of what they’re doing. But then the interesting thing is when Jesus actually, as another example, when he decided who his 12 disciples were going to be, he actually called the enemies to spend time together. Matthew was a tax collector, Matthew is actually one of my favorite books in the Bible, at least my favorite gospel, I can dive into Matthew just about anywhere and feel refreshed. So if you need a gospel to start diving into Matthew, it’s amazing. But he was a tax collector, he supported this, this horrible empire. And then Simon was a zealot where he wanted to overthrow the government with violent violence. Take it back from the tax collectors, these were enemies, and yet Jesus brought them together to be His disciples. It’s absolutely incredible. Now, at that time, my assumption would be that Jesus would make things right through political means. I mean, the amount of suffering people were going through, because of the Romans was drastic, like, the people that are walking around, probably lost their sons to the genocide of little baby boys, they, they lost their nephews, they like this is their generation, their brothers were murdered.
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They remember the atrocities, there are probably atrocities happening, even at this at that time. There were so many reasons to be against the political party, you know, or for it, you know, if they were the ones that were in power than they wanted the status quo, I mean, enemies, talk about enemies, or my pastor actually preached on this yesterday. So that’s one of the reasons I, I’ve really been processing this is I feel like the United States and even the world, depending on what side of the, of the spectrum there on either either your, for us or against us. It is it is enemy upon enemy. And Jesus just didn’t he, he just didn’t say that was okay. In fact, he said, Do good to those who persecute you. Pray for your enemies. I mean, that’s an incredible plan. And so whatever happens in this election, you know, I’m speaking to my own heart here. I want to pray. For the other side. I want to pray for them in, in the good things that God wants to do in their life and in their heart. I want to love them, well, I don’t want to speak ill of them. I don’t want my own fruits of the Spirit to be off kilter because of others, and their choice of who to vote for and what happened. Because God is still God, regardless of politics. Regardless of our leader, God is truly our leader, Jesus is our king. And we are really not of this earth. See, Jesus could have toppled the government. And that’s what the Jewish people wanted. And when Jesus didn’t do that, they were so disappointed that they turned on him and crucified Him who did nothing wrong. So my encouragement is whatever happens in this election, and in your life in general, when you feel disappointed by God. He has a bigger plan. See Jesus if he had succumbed to political issues, that would have been his legacy is just the political issues of the time. And yet, because he didn’t, we are now still talking about him to 2000 years later. And, I mean, that’s because he did not bow his knee to politics of the time, he instead knew that God had something far bigger, far more important for him to focus on the eternal things. So my infantry to use Yes, I hope you voted the way you needed to vote, I hope that you prayed, I hope that you fasted, I hope that you encouraged others in the ways that you felt God wanted you to. And now, God has a bigger plan. For whatever reason the Roman Empire stood, and it continues continued to martyr Christians. It continued to do horrific things to Christians, even though it had the God of the universe on its side, why? Why would God allow such suffering? Why? I don’t know. But I do know the truth that the God of the universe is still on the side of the believer. And I still know that even when we don’t understand why sometimes the bad guy wins. Sometimes the good guy wins, but sometimes it feels like the bad guys are winning. At the same moment, God’s plan is so much bigger than ours, even though it feels like we’re the center of the universe. And if God doesn’t move in our life right now, then he is not God. And we have to have a big question in our mind of faith. And it’s just like, God is just so much bigger than that. He is the generations of the beginning to the end, he’s the Alpha and the Omega, he didn’t start when you were born, he doesn’t end when you die, he is so much bigger than our little vapor of life, which is, you know, 80 or 100 years, at the most.
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So he has a bigger plan. He has a much, much bigger plan, but we can be faithful now. We can be trusting him now. And it’s interesting, the reason I wanted to talk about Thanksgiving so much is because and you know, Philippians and in fact, a lot of the time that Paul was writing his he was in jail. The man was in jail, doing the work of the gospel. I mean, right. So so he could have been very cross with the political leaders, right, because he himself is suffering up their hands, physically suffering, and jail was not as nice as jail is here in the United States. Jail is not nice here. Absolutely not. You know, in dramatically huge terms, but I also know that back then there was a lot of physical beatings, you know, what, and jail does that now too, so I really don’t know. I’ve never actually been to jail. But the stories I’ve heard of jailer are horrific, too. So the point is, jail is bad. And Paul was in jail, and get this in Philippians. Four, he says, for four, he says, Rejoice in the Lord always again, I will say rejoice. And then let your reasonable Ness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand. Do not be anxious about anything. Anything, Paul is in jail. I mean, come on, he must be concerned about other people’s suffering, he must be concerned about. I mean, I feel like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. He’s the one that’s trying to get the church right before from before God. He was the one there’s trying to, you know, hold the line and, and encourage people who were discouraged. And man could he had lots of reasons to be anxious, and yet, he says, Be anxious about nothing. But in everything, by prayer, and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. I’m just gonna skip down and every time I see that kind of thing, just, I’ll read it out. Now in verse eight, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable. If there’s any excellence. If there’s anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Another one, whatever situation that sorry, this is verse 11. In what, now that I’m speaking of being a need, for I have learned in whatever situation, I am content. I know how to be brought low. I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty, and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So you know, he’s talking about in the terrible times. He can be content. I’m gonna Keep going in the Bible. Verse 19, and my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches and glory in Christ Jesus. Keep in mind the context of when Paul’s saying that Colossians one it talks about and we always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ when we pray for you. Then, verse 24, now I rejoice in my sufferings. Then verse chapter two, verse two, that their hearts may be encouraged. And then verse two, verse seven, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, a bounding in thanksgiving. Then it says in chapter three, verse two, Set your minds on things that are above not on things that are on the earth. Then it says, verse 12, put on then, as God’s Chosen Ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Now, can you imagine if our country, all the Christians in our country, committed to that one, that would be amazing, bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive?
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Above all, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony, and then skipping down a bit, and be thankful. Then it says, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Then it continues to say, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Then chapter four, verse two, this is kulshan skin, continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. And then for verse eight, that he may encourage your hearts. So it just I mean, I could go on and on and on. But clearly God cares about us being thankful, in the midst of terrible circumstances, and potentially terrible politics. And, and just suffering. I mean, just flat out suffering physically, emotionally, absolute reality in our lives suffering. He says, Be thankful, be encouraged, still live, like Jesus still take on the character of Jesus, the fruits of the Spirit, of love and joy, and peace, and patience, and goodness and kindness, and gentleness and faithfulness, and self control. And so if you are suffering in your marriage, Thanksgiving is required to get better, that is exerting your faith. Thanksgiving is focusing on the good, focusing on what God has given you, in your spouse, that if you wanted to look at her, in the way of I am so lucky to have this woman, you could, if you decided in your heart to say, I am so lucky to have this man, you could. That is a choice in your heart rejoicing in the Lord, regardless of what the circumstance is. That is his that is His will for your life. I mean, it says the joy of the Lord is our strength. If we are not focused on joy, and the good things we will be, we will be ineffective in the kingdom. Because we’re just feel like my mom used to call it navel gazing. We’re just, I don’t know if that’s the right phrase or not. But you’re just looking at your belly button. You’re just thinking about what’s going on right now in your life, and it’s making you sad. And so you’re staying in that sadness, and you’re not. You don’t have energy to do anything. But if you bind and cast down those thoughts, and instead decide, I’m going to be thankful, because God I know you’re bigger. I know you’re bigger. I’m going to be thankful. I’m going to take it to you in prayer. I’m not going to be anxious. I’m not going to take it personally. I still say that you are God regardless of these particular things in my life, that you are God And the amazing thing about it is, the amazing thing about it is, is you start to see more good show up in your life. I don’t know why or how God does it. But when you are focused on the good, when you notice on the good, the good grows, that’s just what happens, your contentment grows, and your wife starts to smile more, and your husband starts to care more about your feelings, because you’re not this grouchy, complainy critical person anymore. You start to being a person of joy, and faith and peace, and free of anxiety, I I don’t think that’s an easy task. But I do know that is what God asks of us. Paul says, Do not be anxious. So somehow, some way it is a choice to be anxious or not. And so we get to decide, Do not be anxious, you know, something I’m been doing in my home is purging. I have a small home. And I love that it’s small. By the way, if I ever talk about how our one bedroom apartment in New York City is I want you to know I love it, I am content, I do not want a large space. I love the space I have. But I’ve been getting rid of things because clutter is just debilitating for lots of reasons, I think. And one thing I realized is one of these pictures that I bought on the street that I really love,
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I loved. Let’s see, I loved the picture until the gentleman who had drawn it said that it was like worship of, you know, earthly, whatever. Some, like all the earth worship, I can’t even remember. But like, when I initially saw it, I saw this spiritual like, oh my gosh, they’re all worshipping Jesus, like this is amazing. And then he gave his take on it, and a little, no big deal. But I still bought it because I love the image. And so I had it up in my apartment. But every time I saw the image, I remember I was reminded of how I didn’t like what that guy said. And I was just like this, the connotation of this thing in my apartment is negative. And so I just decided I’m going to cover it up with paper, and a and then I put on that just a phrase, of I refuse, and I choose, I refuse and I choose, which is just helping me to say you know what, I refuse the negativity, I refuse the worry, and the the sadness and depression and the things that want to crouch into my mind. And, and cause me to not be able to do the work God wants me to do because I can’t change the world. I can’t change most people, but there are humans that I am assigned to. And if I am negative and sad and dejected and disappointed, I cannot impact them in the way God wants me to. I can’t do my little piece. Because I’m so sad about the hugeness of the problem. So then I can’t do my little piece to contribute to the work God wants me to do. And so then I choose is the part about I’m choosing in this moment, while I’m walking by that, you know, piece of paper hung up in my apartment, I’m choosing to focus on what God does want me to do whatever that is, whether it’s cleaning up the dishes, or whether it’s being present with my kids, or whether it’s making love to my husband, or whether it’s getting on a coaching call or doing a podcast or, or just superduper, mundane things, sweeping the kitchen or wiping the whatever stuff off of the refrigerator, like things that are super mundane. That is what I choose to do. And do it with contentment. And with Thanksgiving that I get to live this, that this is a gift that I am just a vapor in this life here today gone tomorrow, gone in a blink of an eye. So my invitation to you is whatever you’re going through whatever challenge you’re having in your marriage, whatever challenge you’re having in how things are going politically. Do do your part. But God is bigger. He is so much bigger and he knows why things are happening and we can trust him in the midst. His timeline is so much bigger than ours. And we can trust him for our little 80 years of life. That he knows what he’s doing. And Jesus didn’t mind to have enemies sit next to each other, love each other well. And I just encourage us to be like Jesus, in this time in this season. So Father, I just pray for the person listening, Lord, that they would be able to choose to be faithful to you, to love you Well, in this time, to love others well to love their enemies Well, and what that means to do good to others. Jesus in your time, it seems like it was so clear who were the good guys and who were the bad guys. And yet you hung out with both, you served both you loved both. And you ultimately sacrificed your life for both. There wasn’t a there in your book, the good guys and the bad guys. They needed your love. They needed your sacrifice. And it and it’s the same today. Give me the grace to see who I think are wrong. Give me the grace to be open to praying for them and seeking their good and wanting God to move on their lives and wanting them to become closer to Jesus. Just like I want myself to come closer to Jesus. Help us Lord in this time. Help them in their marriage in these particular ways as well to be thankful and grateful and not choose anxiety and negativity but gratefulness and thankfulness in Jesus
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name. Amen. Thank you so much for listening. God bless you. I look forward to speaking with you next week. One quick takeaway here is if dy M has been a support to you I would so appreciate a review. Wherever you listen to the podcast, whether it’s on iTunes or another app, if you put in a review, it helps people find the podcast and it would mean so much to me. If you take a screenshot you send it to my email belah at delight your marriage.com I would happily send you back a training for you. This is specifically for gents but it’s also encouraging for women and you can share it with your husband’s possibly already God bless you. And yeah, I’m just praying that God would really give you peace today. All right. Love you. God bless.
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Bye