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transcript

0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. All right, welcome. This is Bella, thank you for joining. I just hope that you are doing well. And whatever is going on in your life, that you know that God is a God of miracles. And he can help he can heal, he can transform. And today’s episode is absolutely about incredible transformation after 38 years of challenge in their marriage, 38 years, that’s almost four decades. And look what God has done. It is it is mind blowing, really. So I’m excited to have you here, Paul’s story, his testimony, what God has done, and like all of my testimonials, he shares very practically what you can start doing right now. So it’s gonna be a blessing for you no matter what, for those of you that feel drawn to the program, you get a free training all by itself. So no matter what you decide, there’s a free training at delight your marriage.com/masterclass I want to invite you to that Paul talks a lot about the openness versus honesty, I this training really shares about strategy, it talks about that dichotomy, that openness versus honesty, it talks about really the beginning of my entire course and in the structure that all of my my program is set on is in this free masterclass. So I highly recommend that you come to let your marriage.com/masterclass and you invite friends you invite buddies, it’s only going to be available for a week. So sign up once you hear this. And and then for wives if you’re listening. Also, there’s a masterclass for you. It’s called embody seductive confidence. So that’s kind of fancy, just say, hey, get confident in intimacy and how and what, what I suggest what I encourage, and I have a women’s program as well. So if you decide after watching the masterclass that you want to go forward with the program, great. If you don’t you get a free, awesome training. And again, it’s just available for a week, so sign up as soon as you can. Let’s dive into Paul’s story.

2:45
Well, Paul, thank you so much for being here. I’m I’m really excited about this. So let’s just dive right in here. So what was your marriage like before masculinity reclaimed?

2:58
You’re asking me to sum up 38 years, but I will tell you what it was like a year ago, because it was actually a year ago, this week that we first connected. And at best we were, we were housemates, we weren’t even roommates. At worst, we were antagonists. We’ve been married 38 years, and I pretty much was blaming me blaming her for my misery. And I was frustrated. I was angry at God for not solving our marriage issues which have lasted our entire marriage. You know, there were periods of, of better times, and worst times, but I was at a point of real frustration, we’d seen over 21 years of counseling, 1000s 10s of 1000s of dollars, invested in counseling, and I just, we just weren’t very far along. And I read and I told you in that email, that I rated my marriage at a three out of 10. And this was in, you know, practicing Christian principles, and trying to follow the Lord in this but I just didn’t have the practical guidance that you were able to provide. I mean, your course is simply magnificent. And you know, from a physical standpoint, Bella, we would we would have sex sometimes we didn’t have intimacy at all, but every now and then we would have sex. I was hesitant to even bring it up because I didn’t want to be rejected again. And and often when we did seem obligatory and just wasn’t satisfactory. And I call it sex because it wasn’t love making it was sex and I think there’s a big difference between those two. I was not in a good spot. This was not in a good spot. So I was introduced to you at the right time.

5:02
Would you be open to sharing what the frequency was like also? The sex?

5:06
Yeah. So well, the year before your course, we had had sex four times. And we had had some years where there was none at all. So the year before it was it was four times.

5:22
Wow, wow. Okay, so any, any other details about you or how you felt about your life or God or anything else?

5:34
I can’t repeat this quote exactly like I heard it. But somebody once said that if you’re have problems with, if your marriage is good, sex is only like, 10% of the topic, if you will. But if it’s bad, it’s like 90% of your preoccupation. And and I think there’s some truth to that, probably not the exact percentages, but I think there’s some truth to that. And so you know, I mean, it’s, I got admitted, admittedly, as a teenager and looking forward to getting married. And as a young adult looking forward to getting married. I mean, that was something I was really looking forward to. But there were some struggles from the very beginning and that area of our relationship. So it’s been a long term, long term problem.

6:23
Wow, wow. Okay, well, let’s, um, let’s talk about when you did do the program, you know, for gentlemen listening who may be starting out in just exactly where you were, what were some of the major things you learned through Mr. That that even they could kind of start implementing right away?

6:43
Well, I was, I was surprised that even in the very first session of your course, and we had about 15 Guys in that course. And from all over the world, actually. And for the very first session, change began to happen, noticeable change beginning to happen. In Me, I will say at first, your you added a practice about a practice a week or so during the course of that time. And if you’d show them all to us up front, I think it would be overwhelming. But the way you introduced them kind of once a week was was wonderful, and very first week was focusing on our resentments. And the forgiveness practices that you took us through. I mean, that was really powerful. I didn’t realize how much resentment I was carrying it. But I’ve physically felt a relief from those resentments that they were oppressive. And in that very first time, I felt freer, I felt stronger, I felt more courageous. I felt a willingness to invest that I hadn’t felt before because that oppressive burden was lifted off of me. And then I think also maybe that first or second session, you started the faith statements helping us develop faith statements. And I’ve always defined faith is believing that something so even though it isn’t so in order that it will be so and those states statements were five statements of things that were not true in my marriage, but then I wish, by faith believe will be true. And I started saying those, you know, as you ask us to with gusto every morning, you know, say those, write out those gratitude lists. And they really made a difference and, and given me hope, but also in changing how I feel about my wife. Some of the an easy one was the three non sexual touches a day, I mean, that that was pretty easy to implement. But three compliments a day was really hard, but so worth it. And, and I realized that I could turn things that I was grateful for into a compliment, if I just spent a little time thinking about what was really behind what she did that I was grateful for. And so but the complements they’re still hard. I mean, they are still hard. And it’s been a year, well, not quite a year, but nine months or so but but they’re powerful. A Game changer was. And this is where the Lord really I was praying for him to give me playful ideas or playful opportunities, but bringing playfulness into our marriage, which was non existent. There was no playfulness in our marriage whatsoever. And so that was just amazing. And the very first moment we were driving in the car, and she asked me if I can handle the tweezers that were in the little door handle of the car. And it was actually in addition to the tweezers, there was a clothes pin and I picked up picked up the clothespin as well these tweezers do and it was just it was just I know it’s silly, but it was just the beginning of playfulness. And it has lasted last night. She has a little squirt bottle that she squirts our dog when it starts barking and she supported me with it and we ended up having a battle with the squirt bottle and I shot herself in the face with it but it was fun. It was fun. So, so it was great. I mean, things are so those I mean, there’s every, every one of them, none of them is wasted every practice, and I don’t remember how many there are maybe they’re, I don’t know, 16 or 18, or something like the one that I developed, are effective and have have had a result.

10:22
Amazing. Amazing. Okay, well, yeah. So would you share what what are the results you’ve seen?

10:30
The first was I didn’t tell her I was taking the course. So I just, we’ll get into that later. I didn’t tell I was taking the course. But about six, six, or maybe eight weeks into the course. She said to me, she said I, she said, something’s changed about. I don’t know what it is. But I like, in fact, I like you. And she hadn’t said she liked me in forever. She said, What, what’s going on? And I said, I can sum it up in one sentence. And that’s what you focus on grows, and I’m focusing on how much I love you. And she says, well keep it up, because I like it. And and that was just a real sense of encouragement. And let me know that, that I was starting to get through to her. You know, today where we are able to talk about things we could never talk about before. And we’re able to be more vulnerable and more honest with each other. You talk about a, an openness versus honesty graph. And that’s been so helpful to know you’re never dishonesty, but not necessarily openness about everything, depending on where you are in the marriage. And we’re laughing often together, we’re playing around with each other. I really felt like we’re, we’re falling in love again. And and that’s been totally unexpected. I never felt I never wanted to accept that love making is a measure of intimacy in marriage, and probably because wasn’t happening much. And I just didn’t want to admit how bad it really was. But so I’ve tracked it, just to have a measurable result in that area. And as I mentioned, before, the year before the course, we had sex four times, the year of the course, we made love 16 times. So that’s a huge increase has never felt obligatory. And then this year, totally at my wife’s, I mean, this is total and 100%. Her idea. She said, I want us to make love every week. And we’ve been making love every week. And that is unbelievable to me. I mean, it truly is miraculous. I don’t have any other word to say for it. But it’s it’s beyond. I mean, I’m now starting to think, you know, exceedingly abundantly more on I know, there’s some people in the course longer and have been working a little harder than or even doing it more frequently than that. But hey, I’m really happy with so I’ll tell you. It’s, you know, it’s, it’s amazing. So,

12:58
wow, ah, praise God. That’s incredible. Yes. Well, okay, so even What’s your walk with God? Like? How have you changed as a man?

13:10
Well, in addition to being totally honest with my wife, or again, not fully open, but totally honest, because I’m still we’re still gaining an openness. I’m being totally open and honest with the Lord. And I feel like God has really is really helping me see who I am, I’m coming to understand that if I don’t love myself in a healthy way, I don’t if I don’t see the way he loves me for who I am the the good and the ugly. And I don’t accept His acceptance of me that I can’t love her. You know, Jesus said, Love your neighbor as you love yourself. But if I don’t love myself, I can’t love my neighbor. And I don’t mean, you know, a selfish, unhealthy love, but I care. I care. And so accepting God’s acceptance of me has been a transformative part of this last year of my life. And because of that, instead of the negative self talk, I would often have a much more gentle with myself much more kind with myself and in result can be kinder and gentle with other people, as well. So I mean, I’m, I’m putting myself out to the Lord. I mean, I want you to him to show me everything I need to know today that he’s trying to tell me and I’m a doer, but this is not about doing this is about being someone said, Are you a human doing or a human being and I’m a human being, and I’m trying to be as be more and to be still more. You know, be still and know that I’m God. And so, really coming out of the course and through some other influences. I’m really committing the first Chuck of my day, I’m not retired, I work full time, but I’m getting up earlier. And I’m spending an hour or two in the mornings just reading and listening. And just being still and I’m, and I’m loving it. I’m loving it. I love in law. I’m loving God in it. And he’s speaking to me. Like, I haven’t heard him speak to me in a long time. So Wow. Yeah. It’s good. Awesome. Yeah.

15:27
Okay, well, let me ask you, um, would you Yeah. Would you recommend the course and in tissue really, you know, what kind of situations are couples? That sort of thing.

15:39
We’ve gone from, as I mentioned, being antagonists to being what I would call having friends and lovers and and just never expected us to be back here after 38 years, I just never expected as a highly recommend the course. Yeah, I thought I thought it was, I thought the money was was, if everything, the testimonials I heard were true, the money was going to be worth it. And so it was my faith that I invested. Estimate. But had I made that investment 20 years ago, I would have saved literally 10s of 1000s of dollars. I mean, there’s no question about it in counseling, there’s just, I have no doubt. So well worth the price. And, and I highly recommend the course. But just like anything, what you put into it is what you’re going to get out of it. And the guys in the course that just weren’t willing to do the work and weren’t willing to spend the time. They didn’t get much out of it. But almost everybody in the course did and had had terrific results, or having terrific results. And so, you know, the course was the beginning of a change. It was three months of intensive work with good feedback, but and a tremendous foundation of which to build. And that foundation has continued to build. And the results have continued to happen since that time, and in fact, just continue to get better and better. At even after the course is over.

17:09
Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Well, okay, so there, there’s a bunch of men that are, you know, I think their ears perked up when you said you didn’t tell her in the beginning? Or during the course. May I ask several questions around that. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. So so first of all, why didn’t you share it with her.

17:33
I didn’t want her to feel pressure. I didn’t want and also was afraid that had told her and she began to see changes in me, she would just write them off as though that’s just the course you’re taking. It’s just something else you’re doing. It’s just something you’re trying to do to fix me fix our marriage. And I just didn’t think it would have the effect that it might have. Otherwise, I was afraid I wouldn’t come across as as being sincere. And in fact, in taking the course I was afraid. In a way I wasn’t being sincere. But I was sincerely trying to put into practice the things that you taught me. And it’s a little bit like maybe the chicken and the egg, but I began to do the practices and the sincerity of the feelings did follow. So So for me, in my situation, specifically, I chose not to tiller. I didn’t like I didn’t like not telling her. But I wasn’t. But I felt like it was the right thing for me to do in my specific situation in terms of where we were. Yeah, I’ve since Yeah, told her. But I didn’t tell her until a good three months after the Course was over. We were talking about how much better things are now and and, and I said, Well, I do want you to know, I had a little help. And and I told her about your help. And she she laughed and she said, I’m glad you took it. And I said, you know there’s some follow up material and and kind of a grad class that you’ve made available. And I said, I think I’m gonna take that she said, go for it. Yeah, that’s great. And we haven’t really talked about my doing that. She may have forgotten that I’m doing it. But I told her I was going to be doing it. And I feel very comfortable about that. Patience is something that is really required and changing these relationships. I spent a lot of time walking into this deep dark forest. It’s gonna take a little while to get out of it. But, you know, the last half of the course there was certainly a much increased frequency of, of intimacy and lovemaking. But then I continued to do that work after the course. And it was three months later than I told her I’d taken the course and probably about another month after that, and she suggested, you know, she suggested the weekly lovemaking and she didn’t just come out and say, Hey, let’s make love every week. She just started. We just started like she just initiated that we started making lunch every weekend. she just, she just somehow attached Saturday to lovemaking. And then one day, I think it was on a Thursday, I said, Hey, do you think we could set aside some time to make love this weekend? And I say, time I’m talking about two or three hours, not just a wham bam, thank you, man. But yeah, just really be together. And. And she responded, she said, Well, it’s got to be Saturday. And like, What do you mean? I want to? I want to make love every Saturday. That’s awesome. Let’s go for it. So yeah, we haven’t always been together on Saturdays, but we’ve made it up. Yeah, we haven’t. We haven’t missed a week yet. And that’s fantastic. And I don’t have the fear of rejection anymore. I know that she wants to make love with me. And, and she is noticeably enjoying our lovemaking more than she ever has. And, and so if I ask, and she, it, there’s, there’s now there’s a good reason, you know, because I know she wants to and she’s willing, and so I don’t get hurt. And it’s like, no, okay, that’s fine, you know, tomorrow or Monday, and then that’s fine, we’ll find a better time. And I know she, I know we will. Whereas before it would be like, Oh, I don’t feel like it or let’s do it tomorrow. And then tomorrow would never come. And I just knew it was it was really a no, but she didn’t want to say no. But it wasn’t. And now I don’t feel that way at all. I don’t feel that rejection.

21:36
So awesome. Awesome. And what was? What was her response about the fact that you didn’t tell her? Did she? Was she frustrated by that? Or show when you said this is what I did. But I didn’t tell you? What did she say?

21:51
Yeah, it was a good thing I was doing that I didn’t tell her about as opposed to a bad thing I was doing that I didn’t tell her about. And so she didn’t feel she did not feel deceived or betrayed in any way. She actually told me that was probably a good thing that I didn’t tell her. She agreed with me that she might have suspected that I was not being sincere. And the Yeah, that it was being sincere was very important.

22:21
Yes, yes, absolutely. Wow. Okay, so, you know, what would you suggest for a man listening who was where you were? But feels he should tell his wife that we wouldn’t be happy about it? What would you suggest?

22:42
Well, no, I think I would go back to your another guest list and haven’t heard this. But your your graph about openness and honesty, and the more an intimacy, openness and intimacy, and the more intimate we are, the more open you can be. And so I think there’s ways to say that, hey, I want to there’s some material or a person I’ve heard about that I’m want to listen to some more, or maybe even get some counseling from that I think might help me, not help you, but maybe not even helping the marriage, but help me. And I’d like to invest the money and time in that, you know, would that be? If you’re asking permission, would that be okay? Or if you’re just telling it say that, and it’s not? I don’t think that would be threatening. I think that you just kind of got away in and really, I would say asked God to lead you in that. But I think you can say your you’d like to get some help. And here’s somebody I think that can help me. If I had said I was doing anything to help the marriage or to change her would not have gotten overwhelmed. So I had to keep the focus on me. Even when I told her about it. I kept the focus on me. And instead, it’s helping me be a better husband. And that’s, so she’s all in favor of that. And who doesn’t want a better husband? Right. So

24:12
great, great. Awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, what about, you know, for for men that really are thinking about, Well, is there a way that I could do the program without sharing it with my wife in the short term, so that we could have, you know, long term transformation by God’s grace, like you’ve seen? What would you suggest he, you know, what are some some ways that he could do that? What do you think?

24:43
Well, fortunately, so in our calls, we’re all zoom calls. And for me my time, my time, the time it happened in my day, was during the workday, he was late in the afternoon. And so I told her that Every Thursday afternoon at four o’clock, I have a training call. And this is going to go on for about three months. And that was true. Yes. And I said, I can’t be interrupted during, I really have to focus on it. And so she knew that and so she helped me set that time aside for that training call, you know, was working from home and needed her to not come in the room and not bother me during that time. And, and that’s the, that’s the way I did it. If it were, early in the morning, if it were later at night, it would be a little more problematic. But another thing was it was a men’s group. I mean, it was a men’s group. And I’ve been involved in other men’s groups in my life that didn’t involve her. But now we’ve had a bit at night, I could say, I’m going to join this men’s group could upset it’s just helping me be a better person. It’s helping me understand about myself and God. All the things would be true, because I just really wouldn’t want to put any pressure on her or thinking I’m trying to change the marriage.

26:05
Yep, yep. Absolutely. And financially, how are you able to purchase it without her knowing?

26:12
Well, that’s just the way our finances are set up. We have a we have a pool of money, and then we have allowance money. And so I paid for it out of the allowance money that she doesn’t see. So,

26:26
yeah, yep. Absolutely. Yeah. That makes sense. And there’s, um, there’s different payment plans. So you know, depending on how that works, there’s, you know, it could be a smaller chunk, so that that could be easily out of allowance. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, here’s a question that some men may be thinking, did it weigh on your conscience that she didn’t know?

26:54
It did not. I did not like being secretive about it. So is that weighing on my conscious, but I knew that it was a special secret that was going to have really good results, or at least that was my hope. Yes. And I felt like if that secret got out, it could, it could, it could afford it. And so it was a secret that I feel confident needed to be kept. And she’s in a firm. So I’m not in favor of having secrets from your wife. But in the same way that a surprise birthday party or a surprise gift. I mean, those are secrets, and yet they’re good secrets that we we don’t mind keeping from our wives. And this was a good secret that I felt I needed to keep from her.

27:45
Amazing, yes, a three month surprise, gift.

27:52
But but with immediate benefits. I mean, again, that first week, I was different. And so she probably whether she was a conscious of it or not, I believe she started to notice some differences.

28:05
Yeah. Ah, amazing. Okay, so again, for men in your spot that feel, you know, feel very, not only desperate, but hopeless, in a lot of ways, just because I hear from these men a lot. Would you recommend that they that they do the course without their wives, knowing what would you say?

28:30
I would wholeheartedly recommend that you do the course. And I think if you’re if your marriage is to that, at that place, you might best do it without your wife knowing. I mean, that’s an again, again, as a gift as a surprise gift, if that’s the way you need to justify it, but that’s my recommendation. And I’d have no hesitation in making that suggestion. We’ve been some pretty bad places in our marriage. I mean, two separations over time. And, and, and I really felt like we might have another one on its way had this course come about when it’s when it did. We just weren’t in a good spot, not going in a good direction. And I I would, I would recommend doing it whatever it takes doing, I think it’s worth it. And well, as I said before, 13 or 14 different counselors, 21 years of marriage counseling, and nothing has helped us like your course. And it doesn’t even compare to the cost. I mean, we spent that we spent as much as for the course in one day counseling with a guy and in one day and this is something that you know, is three months worth of help and and is going to be a lifetime of results for us. You know, and speaking of a lifetime I believe if I remember right for the lifetime, I can go back and review the materials and, and keep getting refreshers for So, yeah, you’re way under charging. And, and it’s so worth it. It is so worth it. Yeah.

30:09
Amazing. Thank you, Paul. Well, you know, I told you in the beginning, like some of the a lot of these questions may seem very self serving.

30:19
Well, belah, I want to do anything I can to help your ministry, because you’re really helping couples and you’re helping, you’re helping couples thrive. And as a man, if we’re frustrated in our relationship with our wife, I can just speak for myself, I’ve got more creativity, I’ve got more energy, I’ve got more life, I’ve got more somebody said to me I was talking to, and they said, You just seem to be more alive than you were a year or two ago. And it’s very much as a result of not having this frustration and this burden on my back anymore. I mean, I really look forward to talking to my wife and seeing my wife, and that has not been the case. So yeah, it’s had all kinds of impacts.

31:09
Wow, wow, praise God. Isn’t that awesome?

31:13
I want as many men as I can know about your horse to know about it, because it’s really something special. The Lord’s the Lord’s anointing is really on you. And, and he’s working through you and, and really unbelievable ways. And so many men, I’ve heard so many other men say that, as we’ve talked about. So that’s awesome. Awesome. I love what you’re doing. I, I was actually, I went back and there’s an email that I never sent you. When you first asked me. In March 28, march 28 2020, you asked me, you know, how’s my marriage, and I wrote an incredibly long email about marriage, which I never sent to you. But I reread that this morning, and it’s just like, man, I was in a bad place. I know that raising the price of your course, is going to probably turn some people away. But it’s so worth it, Bella, it is so worth if you offered a money back guarantee, but they have to do the work. I mean, that’s the deal. If somebody doesn’t work, they’re gonna see the changes. They’re gonna see the changes. I don’t remember how many guys there were in my class. But your how many of them? Is there not been significant change in their marriages? And who didn’t?

32:34
Yeah, I mean, there were a couple things that I that we’re going to be similar, like, risk taking thoughts that I had, one was almost like, if you think your wife is not going to be open to you taking the course, I would say just don’t do the course until you’re either willing to not tell her and take the course or things get better for some other way. Like, does that make sense? I just it has broken my heart to see these men, some of them. And you know, Paul, there’s plenty of men that haven’t told their wives have seen incredible results, but won’t do a public testimonial, because that’s the whole point. They’re not being open about it.

33:14
And I couldn’t until I told my wife I couldn’t. That’s same thing.

33:17
Of course. Exactly. So so there’s a lot of guys that have had incredible results, but will not do a public testimonial because of that. And so by God’s grace, but then for those that told their wife, and then it backfiring, it just breaks my heart because it’s like, you kind of messed it up from the first day you told her. There’s there’s almost no way. You can’t you can’t put that back in the box. You know, you can’t unsay that. And of course, if if I was in a terrible spot with my husband, and he said he was going to take this course I looked it up and it was about sex. Absolutely not. You jerk.

33:59
Exactly. So what you’re there are a lot of men who want to take the course but feel like they have to tell their wife. Yes. Okay, so the logic of a surprise party or surprise, surprise, I mean, you don’t tell them and some people plan surprises well in advance. So that’s right. I mean, I know somebody, again, planning a, you know, 60th birthday party five years at a time. It’s really a gift. It’s a gift you’re giving to them. That they they may not know where the gift came from, but they will enjoy the gift of the new you and the new relationship. And it’s I understand the hesitation but it’s so worth it. So yeah,

34:55
yeah. So one note about the pricing race that you mentioned. So I thought long and hard about figuring out how to, you know, the guys that did fall off the wagon that were like, they just, they just didn’t. They didn’t prioritize it, it didn’t. So what I did was I actually have two guys, two graduates, who got amazing results. And they’re now a staff members. So they’re part of the teaching team. So they’re running alongside, they’re filling all the gaps that I don’t have capacity to fill where they’re checking in, I didn’t get your for what’s going on how you do all that stuff. That cheerleading? Yeah, that, that I think will really help. More and more people get the results, you know,

35:39
yeah. Yeah. I agree. That’s good. Good. I love your format is such that, especially through zoom, it’s just amazing, because you could this is wildly successful, and you have, you know, 1000s of men that are have done this, and they’re all in grad courses. I mean, there’s no way you can appear. And everyone know, at this point, you are valuable. And for me, you’re valuable. Yeah, I mean, my prayer for you is this for you, and and marriages is that this would be wildly successful. beyond your wildest dreams. So

36:18
thank you, Paul.

36:19
The effect that that what he’s doing through you is having him our lives. So it’s really special. She’s happy with the changes for sure.

36:27
With everything that changed, I think it’s it’s very easy to think, you know, is it possible that you were the only one that worked?

36:39
I was the only one that worked. I mean, she didn’t even know I was taken. And so I wasn’t asking anything of her whatsoever. But what was fascinating to see is that I remember the first compliment she made to me, I mean, she began to respond in kind in the same way. I was treating her she began to treat me back that way. And it was just, it was it was wonderful. Every if we’re not together, and I travel a bit, and so we’re often not together, but I’ll texture Good morning, beautiful. And it’s just the way I started day and she responded Good morning, handsome. It was like, wow, this is great. And because I was the only one taking the class, I was the only one listening to you I was the only one making those changes her name, her changes came out of a changing her feelings that occurred because I was treating her differently. So it was that I love it just takes one. If you’re in a relationship and only takes one and the relationship is going to change, it cannot match. If one person changes the relationship going to change one way or the other. One person changing it if that person thing healthier. I believe the entire relationship will get healthier as a result of that.

37:54
Would you be willing to pray for a gentleman again? Maybe in your spot? A year ago? Would you pray for him while we’re on the line

38:03
here? Sure. I’ll be happy to Oh, Father, Lord, Jesus, Holy Spirit, we, we praise your name. We thank you that you care. You care about each and every one of us deeply. Every one of us is special to you. And for that man who is hurting that man who is frustrated. The man whose anger who feels like you have let him down, his wife has led him down. Life has led him down. He’s met he’s let himself down. For that man who just says and this is just not worth it. I can’t go on. I’ve just I’ve got to get out of this. I’ve got to do something else. I’ve got to take matters into my own hands. You’re not coming through from the Lord, I pray that You would give him your grace. Help him to see that there is a way out. That is right. And it is true. And that’s filled with grace and with love and gentleness and kindness and goodness. That would be willing to take a chance to give you the opportunity to speak to them through Bella. God, I can tell you, you know, I’ve tried it all I’ve read so many books. And we spoken to so many people and we’ve been to so many conferences and just weren’t getting anywhere and yet. It’s it’s Bella’s teaching your teaching through Bella. It’s it’s making the difference in our lives. And it’s been almost it’s been exactly a year this week that I first reached out to Bella, and the changes between this year and last year are unbelievable. And finally, that’s all because of you and your work that you’ve done to this woman and I praise you for her and I pray that You would give that man courage, determination, a willingness to just give you one more chance and and and to sign up and to spend the money and commit the time. Not just the time in the class but the time outside of the class to do the work every day and I thank You Lord that in the morning when I wake up. I just don’t feel like doing it sometimes but you Just prompted me every single morning. Say those made statements, make those gratitude lists. And you work in me every day. And Father, I thank you for that. And I pray for this man who’s hesitant, helped him to cross that line and to have faith in you that you’re going to do this work. We pray in Christ’s name, Amen.

40:20
Amen. Amen. Paul, thank you. Gosh, great.

40:26
Opportunity. So.

40:37
thinking God for this incredible story from Paul. And thank you, Paul, for sharing and being brave. So yeah, I want that for you. I want that for your marriage. If you’re one of those gentlemen that the reach outs out to me just about every day, if not more, and you’ve been married 20 3040 years. I mean, look, here’s Paul. And it changed. It can change for you. God is in the business of transforming lives. I’d love for you to learn more. I’d love for you to understand what we’re even talking about. Just go to the free free training you’ll get you’ll get a ton of value. And you’ll understand if this, this actual program might be right for you. So just sign up delight your marriage.com/masterclass the masterclass is just going to be available for a week. I want to encourage you enrollments just going to be available for a short while I only run these programs a couple times a year. Not totally sure when I’ll open it up again. So so jump on this, as Paul mentioned, I don’t also know how how much time I’ll be actually live on these, you know, because by God’s grace, it’s growing but right now, you get time with me live on these these coaching calls. So So now’s the time, get get the insight now, while you can. And as Paul alluded to the price did increase because the value increase because the staff increase because it’s growing. And it’s possible could happen again, I’m not sure. So get in on it when you can. I encourage you, I want your marriage to change. I believe you can do more for God with an awesome marriage. All right. God bless you. Paul already prayed for you. So I’ll wait till next week and I’ll see you in the masterclass. We’ll talk soon. God bless