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Get inspired and encouraged by Nick’s story. It’s amazing! They were miserable.
He had plenty of ministry and church background. He certainly tried his best!
They had 5-kids, including a brand new baby.
But he and she had resigned themselves to misery.
He didn’t even want his kids to get married because it was so painful for both of them.
Why do I share this and other stories of God’s transformation?
1 – Because you need faith that YOUR marriage can change.
2 – You can get specific insights that Nick changed and why his wife transformed.
3 – And to convince you that you need to take the free Masterclass coming up in October 11, 12 & 13.
delightym.com can get you straight to the Free Men’s Masterclass sign up.
(It’s easier to type than delightyourmarriage.com but both will get you to the registration page!)
(To help spread the word about DYM–even internationally to countries where evangelizing carries the death penalty (not an exaggeration!)–leave a 5-star iTunes review, here’s how: delightym.com/itunes )
Love,
Belah
PS – Be sure to join us on the FREE Men’s Masterclass – delightym.com Oct 11, 12 & 13
transcript
0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. Hi, there. Welcome. I am so honored and grateful you are joining me. I’m not sure where in the world you are. But I am honored that you would spend some time with me today. So before we dive in to this amazing story of God’s transformation, I want to just tell you a really cool thing. Two really cool things. Okay. So, first thing is that I was looking at some marketing stuff yesterday, I looked at numbers, and the thing that caught my eye is that I’m not gonna say specifics, exactly. But there is a country in the world where it is illegal to evangelize to certain groups. And, in fact, the penalty is death. So it’s impossible. If I were a missionary to go over there and try to invite people to know Jesus, or even try to say, Hey, I’ve got some marriage resources. But it’s Christian, and it’s all about Jesus, I’d be put to death. And yet this podcast is going into these unreachable countries, many, many, many, many, many times over, like it’s impossible for me to even imagine. And it’s just God. And it’s just incredible. And if you’re wondering, how can I help this thing grow? It’s super simple, but super important is to leave an iTunes review, and subscribe to the podcast and listen to the podcast. All of those things as funny as it sounds, that actually causes iTunes to say, hey, this podcast goes higher up in the ratings and higher up in the search engine results. And so more people listen to it just by naturally searching. So the way to get the the way to help, again, did way to help the podcast grow is to go and leave an iTunes review. It’s actually very simple. But it is some steps. And if you don’t know how to do that, you can go to delight your marriage.com/itunes. Basically, what you have to do is click into the podcast search to let your marriage scroll down until you see the stars and see the part that it says write a review just under the stars. That’s what you have to do. And I just want to thank you in advance for doing it. Okay, that’s the first thing. The second thing is, drumroll please, the men’s master class. It’s coming up October 11 12th and 13th. I am incredibly grateful and excited for all of you that have already signed up and you’ve put it on your calendars. And some are interested in taking off work to make sure that they can be in attendance of this masterclass. So, here’s what it is it’s going to come into your inbox, all the information will be in your inbox. And it will be available for a short amount of time. So you don’t have to take off work. It’s not going to be live. But there’s live interaction between my team and me. So there’s different things to fill out. It’s very interactive. And I’ve heard from many previously, how valuable it has been for them and their marriage transformation. We really put our all into this process. So I hope you’ll be joining us. You can actually go to a much easier website to spell delight y m.com Delight y m.com It’s actually going to take you directly to delight your marriage comm and signing up. It’s right there on the front page. Wonderful. Thank you again for the iTunes reviews and thank you for signing up for a masterclass. I am thrilled. All right, let’s dive into Nick’s story, my gosh, talk about a transformation and his hopefully took six weeks or less even for utter transformation in the masculinity reclaimed program. So just to clarify, after the masterclass that’s coming up, the enrollment period for masculine unreclaimed will be available. So that’s what Nick did. And let’s go ahead and listen in Alright, right, Nick, I’m so excited to talk to you. You’re awesome. Okay. So would you mind just kind of giving a little bit of insight about your life and your marriage
5:00
Sure. I have been married for a little over 12 years. I have five kids we just had the most recent kid is four months old. So we have a spread from 10 years old to four months. So we got a good spread all boys there. I think you have you just boys right though I do relate, we have a lot of boy energy in our house. And, you know, we’ve just had a, we’ve done a lot of moving a lot of different things throughout our marriage. So it’s been a happy chaos in the sense of like, we’ve been doing different things. I was a full time ministry for a while I was a teacher for a while. Got my degree in Biblical Studies, for ministry, and you know, like most people to get Biblical Studies degrees, I’m putting that to use in the insurance industry now. So we just got a lot of different things.
5:55
Yeah, yeah. Okay. And what would you say, um, challenges were in your marriage before you you join the masculine need reclaim program? Sure.
6:06
Well, um, honestly, the challenges go back almost to the beginning. I think we, we intended to get a good start, I think I got a really good start in engagement. We, I just really wanted to get it right. You know, I had been engaged once previously. And that didn’t work out. And I just this time, I want to get it right with my wife, you know. And so we kind of set boundaries right from the beginning, we never hung out alone in my apartment, we actually decided not to kiss until our wedding day. So our first kiss was on an altar, which was extreme. I know, that’s crazy. Everybody thought it was crazy, like literally everybody. But we were just trying to do the right thing. You know, and I think we really were trying to prepare for marriage. Well, we had premarital counseling, and all that stuff. But it wasn’t a couple months into marriage, that things just started getting Rocky, you know, it’s just everything, you know, obviously, sexual intimacy was a problem, like from the beginning. And there’s, you know, baggage probably for both of us there. We were both virgins when we got married, but didn’t mean we’re both clear and clean of, you know, influence, you know, the bad things that affects you pornography and just bad history in both of our families of origin. And just in the first couple months, sex became a stressful thing. Like, it seemed like it was gonna be great at first, and then it just became a painful thing right off the bat. And, you know, and in the midst of that we, you know, life was chaotic, money was tight, we’re moving, I took on a ministry position that didn’t go well, you know, this is all the hardship, and our marriage just wasn’t up to it. And, you know, we’ve always wanted to do a bunch of things, you know, we had, we had our first child before we’d been married two years, and we weren’t ready as a couple for that. I mean, we wanted that, but we weren’t together. And it just, it’s been a struggle. And unfortunately, the anger and resentment grew over years. And we just, we just kept hurting each other. And I got more and more resentful. And intimacy got even more stressful. And there was no real marital intimacy between us, we were just angry and hurt. And, you know, financial pressures, all the things going on the outside. And as a couple, we were not ready to deal with all that outside pressure. And so every we tried new things, and we’re doing all these things, trying to, you know, make a difference in our church and our community stuff. And we just weren’t up to it. Because as a couple we weren’t, we just weren’t getting along. We weren’t on the same page. And so there’s a lot of hurts. And as a kids came in, you know, we, we both wanted to be parents of a large family. And we’ve done other things. We were foster parents for a while, which was really great. Except it also was very painful, because we were going to adopt a little girl and then ended up, she had an accident while she was with us, and they just took it all the way and canceled it. And yeah. And that was all we were like, wanted to do that that’s we’re both on the same page. We both wanted that so badly. But then, as our marriage was struggling in the midst that when the hurt came, we weren’t up to it, like the hurts just, we hurt each other too. You know. So there was a lot leading up to just this most recent child. I mean, we’ve had a lot happen in the past years has been a very big year busy things, you know, anyway, lots going on. And we’re still hurt, you know, and our marriages was still Rocky, and in the fifth at the end, and we love the baby like we love everyone before him. And but we were still not on the same page. We’re still there’s tension between us all the time. So wow, needed to change and you know, it’s a shame, but I hate it. But it’s been awful. That we haven’t ever really been as close as we should have been for 12 years.
9:36
Hmm, wow. Wow. I should not realize that you had a brand new baby.
9:42
Yeah. Well have had a lot going on. But this was That was why this program was as part of what led me to the program. I guess we’ll get to that. Well, yeah, that was that was part of what God uses things like it’s time now. Something has to change. You know? I like I said, this is the sixth baby. I’ve brought home including the foster child. And you think I would have got there sooner, but I was a little slow to learn, I guess. But yeah, it’s uh, he’s four months old. He’s amazing. Nothing wrong and healthy and happy and just wonderful. But you know?
10:14
Wow, wow. So tell Yeah, tell me, why did you decide to take Mr. What was that?
10:19
Well, you know, there’s a lot of things. But it was, I guess now we’re about two months, a little over two months. Now, we’re not quite two months in the program. But for me, the journey started maybe two and a half months ago. And I, I was realizing, I mean, God was working on my heart. And I was realizing like, I couldn’t repeat the same pattern. And a lot of it was about my kids. We just had the talk the birds, the bees talk with my oldest, well, we didn’t just have it, we kind of been slowly getting into that. But I mean, my oldest is 10. It’s really past time that he needs that talk. And we’re getting serious about where it’s a moron. And honestly, I was struggling with that. Because in my own marriage, there was so much hurt my own heart, there was so much hurt. And like I said, family of origin for my wife. tough situation, her father committed suicide when she was 10. Same age as my oldest. So lots of pain there. And for me, you know, my, my parents had just, you know, dysfunctional family, there’s together but there’s just dysfunctional, we didn’t have good background, you know. And here, I was realizing it’s time for me to really get serious about teaching my kids not just being a spiritual leader, but also teaching them about marriage. And I don’t know what to say, weighing on my heart said, marriage hurts. And I keep and I’m wrestling with this thought of, I feel like I want to tell them, they shouldn’t get married. But at the same time, I don’t want to tell them that because that’s wrong. God doesn’t say we’re not I knew that that was wrong. And so it’s like, well, what is the right answer? The right answer is, the Holy Spirit was working on me saying you got to fix you, you know, you got to work on this. And I looked at other resources, and was a lot of saying, We’ve read lots of marriage books, I’ve read lots, we’ve gone to some marital counseling after marriage. It’s just all fell flat in in, you know, even pastors and churches and different churches have been I haven’t had much of a trust for them, unfortunately, just because of different things. I just didn’t have the trust, where I felt like, hey, go to this pastor and get some sound advice. And so you know, and especially right now, where we’re at, and I just felt like I needed something in the Lord was really weighing on my heart. And I found your podcast, which I know you hear that a lot. But I did. And your podcast was different than the bad resources that I’ve been hearing. I’ve been hearing a lot of negative stuff I hear and I say, That’s wrong. That’s wrong. That’s not spiritual. Or maybe it’s not bad, but it’s just not helpful. You know, it’s just like, okay, that’s very generic. That doesn’t help me that listen, here’s the gold. This is some really good insight you had. And I know, I sound like a broken record. And you say, other people get the same testimony. But I was like, wow, she really understands how men think and feel. And nobody else says this. And I don’t even know how to say I love talking. I could never articulate 10,000 words. I couldn’t say what you’re saying. And I thought, wow, that’s really something but you were mostly I was mostly hearing your advice to women. I said, Well, that doesn’t help me. I mean, yeah, of course, I want my wife to be, you know, perfect. And I want her to do everything you’re saying. But that doesn’t help because I can’t just tell her to be perfect. And God kept on saying, No, you got to work on you. But then you also give advice to husbands. And I started listing some of this, and this, this sounds like, I need to hear this, you know, some of the hard stuff. And then I was resistant. I said, Well, I don’t have time for this. We just had a baby, you know, but Lord said do something. So I signed up for the clarity call was kind of like a leap. And I was like, yeah, we’ll see what happens. And then I immediately said, don’t I was thinking about doing the masterclass which sounded great. It’s free, you know, free is nice. But also I was like, well, that’s a good start. And I said, No, no, I don’t You don’t need a good start. You need to dive in. Dive in. So I did that clarity call. And then I was just I mean, it was on my heart that day, my heart was broken. Honestly, it was just timing, God’s timing. And we told me about I said, this, is it. I’m doing this No, no question. I’m not telling my wife about it. That was the plan at first. Yeah. Just doing it. And, and, you know, I’ve never looked back and regretted it. Because I honestly felt like the Holy Spirit was telling me you need this. And, you know, and I needed it. So, obviously no regrets. Yes. Well, you know, what, what happened? What?
14:08
What would you say? What’s the story next?
14:10
Well, as you know, I, I got in, and I’m cynical anyway, I’m a cynical person. Your podcasts are great. I mean, your your style is relaxed. You’re you know, you there’s a lot of things that make your your resources more appealing than others. And I’ve listened to all the others. I went to Bible college, you get the ball thrown at you from all directions, and everybody has an answer to everything. And I was glad to hear what you had to say. But I still cynical but not so much about you, but about how it work. You know, it’s like, yeah, well, this is great and all but Well, the first module you deal with and the first thing you deal with his forgiveness right away. And I knew that that was a problem. I mean, that was you know, I guess it’s like, you know, but you don’t know, you know, you’ve been wrestling for with it for 12 years, but you really don’t know And right away, I was like, Wow, this and I was just broken. And I just got, I mean, God was working on my heart and us dealing with what we’re doing in the program. It’s like this. I’ve needed this for 12 years, and I’ve never had any other help. And since I’ve even reflected, you know, growing up, I just didn’t have any mentors. Unfortunately, my family, my parents really didn’t have much to offer me in that way. Even in my church, I grew up in church in a very kind of strict fundamentalist church, who really had nothing to offer me in the way of like, preparation for marriage. And I got engaged to grow on that church. I thought, I’ll be great. And it wasn’t, I wasn’t ready. And I just all this time, I kept thinking, I just needed some help. I need some encouragement. I mean, yeah, my own man or whatever, and ooh, look at me, I’m independent. But that’s really no good. Everybody needs help. And I needed it. And all of a sudden, this program like, wow, this is this is like exactly what I need. I need to deal with my heart. Because that was basically we’re starting I need to deal with my heart. And I just opened up the floodgates, and I started apologizing to my wife for everything. And it actually scared her. I mean, she was actually like, what and I was trying to be, I was like, all of a sudden, all the things that I had tried to do and little bits and pieces here and there and 12 years of marriage, I’m trying to do it all in one week. Like I’m like, Oh, your vise, get her gifts, you know, say sweet things, leave notes. I’m like, I don’t know why I’ve been so hard for 12 years. Well, I do know, it’d be hard because my hard heart was hard. And because I was hurt, I was angry. Yes, unfortunately, makes you too selfish. You start focusing too much on your own needs. And then it’s like, pulling teeth to look out for her. Even though I knew I knew the Bible verses I knew that I’m supposed to love my wife, like Christ loves the church. But it was so I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t do it. You know, I was hopeless. And all of a sudden, now that I’m forgiving her my heart and I’m like, putting it all aside. It was like a fresh start. It was like I was just starting over. So I was apologizing to her like crazy. And she didn’t know how to take it. But she, she appreciated it. And then it got very emotional. And I was like, This is good. This is good. Okay. And she’s not like responding to me right away except to like, say, Yeah, you’re right. You were wrong. You know, and it’s like, but but, you know, again, that’s where just having the help, encouragement, your advice was key, because I needed to. I needed somebody to keep pushing me and say, when you apologize, and she beat you up, keep apologizing. Because for 12 years, you’ve apologized, like, you know, I apologize, sort of, but not really. And then when she gets mad, you get mad back then everything kind of turns into a fight. Well, there’s no fighting. Okay, that’s, that’s a good rule. Now I need to hold myself to that. Well, that really helped. Because if I let her beat me up, then it actually actually got somewhere. And I would apologize, and she hit me with stuff supermind me stuff I didn’t even remember. Like, I want to I want to say like I cringe a little bit. I like that. I didn’t do that. I can’t. I was like, nope, nope, the rules. There’s a reason for this. So I did not. I didn’t say anything, you know, and it worked. And I was not going to tell her I was in the program. I was intending to follow your advice. Is this a great idea? Keep it sacred, just see what happens. But kind of some of the maybe the things she deals with fear. She has abandonment issues and things like well, this is almost scaring her too much like is this where she’s worried that I’m about to like, do something to myself, like, this is some kind of emotional break, right? This is an emotional break. But I want to know what kind it is. So I went ahead and spilled the beans and lasted like a week and a half for two weeks. And I was like, You know what, I need to tell you what I’m doing. And at first, she was like, oh, but then she was really glad about it. She’s like, Oh, I just want it. She said, I’ve been praying that you would do this for 12 years, which again, almost hurt me is like, well, I want you to do stuff too. But
18:36
you’re right. You’re right. But she’s right. I didn’t need to do this for 12 years. And if I’m, if your program had been in it, and I could have done it, you’re one we’d have had 12 good years of marriage probably. And so she was right. And anyway, it was just great. I mean, it’s just, it was just what I needed. And I you know, I was cynical, I came in and cynical, and 12 years of bitterness and hurt dragon with me. And but this is exactly what I needed, you know, to break to break the strongholds in my heart, the things that were that were holding my whole marriage apart, which of course hurts my children hurts my career hurts everything, you know. So it’s really, it’s been great. You know? It’s been so amazing to change.
19:17
Wow, wow. So yeah, so what would you say? How has things changed? How have things changed? Well, I
19:23
see a couple of weeks in my wife, I guess that was kind of letting me have it. But nothing was changing between us. And I say a couple of weeks. That’s not that long after 12 years of marriage. But things were changed because because I was acting different. Everybody else was responding differently to the way I acted. So it was better. But I was like, Well, I want her to do something to you know, I want her to be better to me. But at the same time I realized like no, you know, this is about you, you got to work on you. You might have to go through the whole program two or three times before we finally get her. Little did I know I mean, something clicked with her too. And you know, she said something to me. She said you know I forget exactly how she worded but she said something like you know All I needed was for you to be the leader and lead on this and then I could follow you. And I that that meant a lot because usually I feel very disrespected our marriage. And that’s a very respectful thing to say like, I want to follow you, you know that makes makes a man feel good. Yeah. And she said that and I was like, Well, we’ll see what that really means was following me. Well, it meant she started changing too. And she she wanted to know who I was taking classes. I told her without any pushing. She got your book, we can. I said, I read the book. I said, you don’t have to read if you don’t want to. She got the book. And I think she’s still working on that. She started listening your podcast, I was like, she’s awesome podcast. Okay, well, that’s pretty good. I mean, I know, nothing bad can come out of that. And then she’s just kind of got on board with me. Now. It’s like, I mean, she’s not taking the course. But she’s acting like she is because she’s changing how she treats me. Intimacy went from one sometimes once or twice a week, very tense, very unpleasant, often resulting with fight the next day, like often, too. We’ve had one week where was every day, and every time we just can’t stop talking about how great we are glad we are to be married to each other now. I mean, we just keep saying it. And you know, she’s more open with me. And I worked harder than ever in our marriage. 12 years. I mean, it’s just, we just kind of flipped the switch completely. It’s amazing. We’re thinking, praying together. You know, I’ve always wanted to be a good spiritual leader. I mean, I went to Bible college, I was like, supposed to be my thing. But I’ve never been because it’s, I’ve always felt insecure, unsure, like, there’s too much tension. So it’s almost feels like a fake if I do it. But now it’s coming more naturally than ever, you know, we’re praying together. And, you know, I’ve always really cared about spiritual education. My kids, we talked about it all the time. But now, I just feel like a confident leader, like, I can actually do it. And we’re team. You know, that’s the big thing. Honestly, that’s the biggest thing is now that she and I are a team, we’re doing it together. Instead of us going against each other. We’re going together, and I just, I just can’t. I can’t believe it. Like, it’s it is a miracle. I didn’t you know what I mean? I was scared for my future. I was scared for my kids future, I was scared that my marriage was gonna be I kind of resigned myself. And this is what my wife told me to do. One time she let me have it is she just resigned herself to misery. She said, we’re just going to be miserable, but I’m gonna stick with you. And I had done the same thing. And that was like, well, that’s the problem. We both resigned ourselves a long time ago, this wasn’t going to be miserable. And now we’re like, this is going to be great. And we’re gonna do something great. You know, God’s been so good to us and other ways. But this marriage thing, we could be living in a shack in the middle of nowhere and a garbage dump, and we’d be happy if you’ve ever been.
22:37
Oh, my gosh, praise God, Nick, this is amazing.
22:42
I really, I can’t say enough about how great it’s going. I really can’t I mean, I, I you know, I listen to other testimonials. And I said, there’s no way that won’t. Maybe eventually, you know, like, pie in the sky. But I’m not even through the program yet. And I can’t believe we’re here. You know, I just, I just thought we had blown it. You know, I thought I had blown it beyond repair. And here we are. I just, I can’t say enough about it. What is it, if you ever wants to take the program to I won’t stop her?
23:15
Well, and she didn’t like my book at first. And she told me that.
23:19
She didn’t like the title. She didn’t like the title. But guys, she was like, wait a minute,
23:25
this is about sex and sex. And again, that was when she was warming up to the idea of like, working on things. And it’s like, you don’t have to read it. Just don’t read it. It’s okay. Just, you know, we don’t need that’s okay. I mean, we I’m not gonna, and I kept in my own way, saying nothing I’m doing is conditional. I’m just, I’m changing from, you know, because it’s the right thing to do. Yes. And she and I don’t know, I think I don’t know where she is in the book. We haven’t really talked about the book. She she does talk about your podcast a lot. She listened to the different podcasts. And she may have stalled on the book, which is fine, because honestly, things are going great anyway, and we have lots of room to grow. But we’ve gone leaps already. It’s like Superman, we jumped over the building. And now we just got a few little puddles to jump over. Yeah, she didn’t like the book. She’s like, oral sex, not not something you want to talk about at all. And you know, and again, there’s a lot of hurt, you know, sex was our marriage, just lots of hurt. Take responsibility for a lot of what I did when I was clueless, and I was angry and bitter. And it’s my fault. I could have been different. We both could have been different. That was my fault. And God, of course, has been convicted me that is I should have been I should have had that figured out a long time ago. But my heart was hard. No and hardened by things outside of my marriage to you know, just the hardness of life and harder and it shouldn’t have, because I always knew God. And I’ve always tried to walk with God, but I was too cynical. I don’t know. But it is. We’ve come so far now. I mean, I mean, I’m glad she’s reading the book and things are only getting better like, and she’s being so deliberate with me and it’s like You know, she’s not even doing the program, she’s listening to a podcast, I’m not pushing anything amazing. Or even pushing her, you know, she’s just been great. Because things were changing, our relationship has changed so much. works. I wish I could, if I was talking to myself eight weeks ago, it’s like it works. You know, I don’t understand it, but it works.
25:20
Would you say? I mean, are other guys in the program? Is it a similar kind of? Oh,
25:25
sure. I mean, I see the the stories we’re hearing these guys are going through huge changes. And there’s guys that have much harder situations that I have. Because sometimes you look at like, the hurt my marriage, it’s like what a joke compared to these guys that have serious problems in their marriage and, and dealing with physical and emotional issues and things that are just like, Well, Mike problems are a joke. I mean, my problems are nothing compared to that. And they’re, they’re working through their issues, too. So I’m really, it makes me excited to hear these other guys stories that have been struggling longer than I have with deeper hurts than I have. And they’re working through there too. And that’s, you know, a happy it makes me happy for them. Because at first is like, well, good for them, but it’s not gonna happen to me. And now it’s like, good for me. And then we’re all happy. Great. It’s good. All of us. Oh, that’s amazing. It’s amazing. Well, um, yeah,
26:12
I mean, what would you say? Or is there anything else that you want to just say about someone who might be on the fence,
26:18
um, you know, this is about a heart change is about you. And every man wants a good marriage. Every man wants to feel respected. They want sexual intimacy, like, because it’s a need that goes as deep in their soul was, as you know, stronger than, than hunger for food, everything else, every man wants it. And when you’re not getting it in the right way, and when your marriage is broken, or you’re hurting, you just feel desperate. And of course, unfortunately, the outside for the outside pressures of the world, the outside messages of the world, including a lot of Christian authors, and pastors are really putting in the wrong direction, and they’re only going to deepen your hurt, and certainly was for me, and I would just say, if you’re on the fence, well pray a lot. Because this is a hard thing between you and God, and you’re only gonna, your marriage is only gonna be as good as God is blessing you, you know, and changing your heart. But you need this help. And you don’t need to clear all the cobwebs of the past search you have in the world’s messaging, which you know, on sex and everything, it’s just going to confuse you. Because, you know, most most men don’t have a great godly example. Even ones that had godly parents, maybe they didn’t teach them very well. And maybe maybe they tried their best, you know, there’s a lot of confusion out there. And you need some solid meshing, you need some help. And if you’re on the fence, pray hard about it. And this is worth it. It’s where you got to take the leap, you know, man up and change because it is not worth staying the way you are. You don’t know how much time you’re losing.
27:46
That’s amazing. Yeah, that’s amazing, Nick, amazing. Um, oh, I love it. Well, would you be open to praying for the guy listening? If let’s say he was you, what, eight weeks ago? Or three
27:59
weeks ago? Yeah. Dear Lord, you are really good to us, Lord, you’re better to us than we deserve. And your mercy endures forever. And, Lord, you’re so merciful to me, because I know that I have a lot of years of bitterness and anger, a lot of years of frustration, and an obsolete Lord, all that anger and bitterness is directed to you. Because if I’m angry, I’m angry at you because you’re the author of all life and everything. And Lord, I just pray for, for me and for everybody like me, God that is struggling with that that hurt. That anger, confusion, bitterness, God that that’s the enemy is working on them. He wants their marriage destroyed. He wants them to be in the constant throes of of struggling with lust and struggling with anger and struggling with hate. And God, you want better for him. That’s not what you made him for. So God, I just pray for whatever man is going to think about this program God, they would tap into the resources. Lord, I just pray that you would work hard on their hearts, victim of their sin and show them better wait, Lord, show them what you really want for them. And I just pray God that you’ll do in other people’s marriages, what you’re doing in mind because it is amazing. And you are a miracle worker. And they say that people don’t change but that’s a godless statement. Because you do people God. So I pray for that man, change his heart, break his heart, open his heart and show him that he can learn through a program with Bella through all her resources. God I just pray because you can make a difference and then we can make a difference in this world when our homeless. Thank you God for all you’ve done. Amen.
29:36
Yes, amen. Amen. Amazing, Nick, thank you so much.
29:41
Thank you, Bella. We love the program. That’s just amazing.
29:46
Amazing. Yeah. Okay. Click. Um, that was fantastic. That was really, really great. Seriously, thank you.
29:53
Yeah, sure. Well, I love it. My wife is super excited. She’s more excited than I am. You see how excited I am. Our marriage is just It is it is it is. I can’t believe that we changed like this so quick, I just can’t believe it. I was so cynical and so unsure. And it’s just like, we’re just making big plans for doing better, like improving building on what we’re doing now just making it better, you know, and it’s, we I mean, we’re not fight, I’m not even not I don’t even have to try not the fight, we’re not playing anyway, we’re just like, we have things that we’re discussing, but we’re working them out immediately. It’s just, we’ve been not doing nothing but fighting for 12 years. And I just, you know, I just want I have a brother in law that’s getting married in a couple months, and him and people like, I just want them to start their marriage, the way that I’m figuring it out now, almost an old fart that, you know, has finally figured it out. I wanted to start better. You know, and there’s a lot of people, that’s why I mean, we’re already starting to recommend your stuff as carefully to in laws and stuff be we know, that could use a change, too. And it just gets me motivated in whatever ministry I can do. I just want to get this message out. Like, I want people to know, I wasted 12 years and your heart can be better, you can do better. Yes, love is. I love what your ministry does I do. I love your ministry. You know, it’s just different in and your message is, right. I mean, you’ve got it, you’re inside, there’s something else. I mean, it’s just, I just want everybody else to know it. Because I don’t want me to be the one has a good marriage. I know a lot of people I’m like, so many people are struggling and, and my wife used to say like, oh, all my friends, you know, you’re getting more sex. And most of my friends, most of my friends, some of them haven’t had sex in six months. And that was depressing to hear. Because like, I know those families too. And I like those people. And like, that’s even more they’re worse than us like, but I think, yeah, and unfortunately, in our church, there’s very few people that I think have a good marriage, you know that there’s the thoughts of good marriage. But I just want everybody to hear this. Like you don’t start with your marriage. Get your marriage, right. Get your hearts, right. And then you’ll do some good in this world, you know, for your your kids. I mean, I was in youth ministry. For one, I just saw people that grew up in church, but then they were godless, like they grew up in church, but somehow it didn’t know God, really. And it’s what all scattered to the wind. In fact, the church that hired me hired me they kept saying all of our kids leave the church after they become adults, which is a known statistic among youth ministry world is that we’re losing most youth, most of them grow up and they don’t they say it’s because they don’t have the foundation home. It’s not really it’s because the their their parents, marriages and their spirits. You know, spirituality is missing it. And it’s like, and I see it as like, that could be my own kids. I’m blowing it. I chose to know better know this, because my marriage was running. So anyway, we were just in a good path. Now. We are so happy. Oh, man. We are so happy. To be contacting you at some point. There’s nothing else to tell you how happy she is. But what’s a good program? Yeah, no question. We’ll spend the money. Oh, praise
32:54
God. That is so cool. That is just awesome. I didn’t realize you had
32:59
five boys this whole time. Yeah. Well, my phone here I can tell you. I’ll post a picture sometime. Yeah.
33:09
Oh, well, please give her an extra big hug for me. And just this is amazing, truly. And I mean, Nick, the only way this would have at all happened if you didn’t do very disciplined determine. I mean, no,
33:21
you’re right. And I you know, it was it hurt it first. And I and I thought the hurt was gonna have to last a lot last longer. Honestly, it would have served me right. I mean, I didn’t deserve to have the bolt this quickly. I mean, that’s really that’s true. I mean, I didn’t if it had taken 12 weeks with no results that would have been okay, I get far as I have 12 years to make up for so. No, but my and so that’s to my wife’s credit. She’s the one that jumped on the bandwagon and made everything around. So she’s great, too. But there was no greatness, I had to unlock the greatness by getting right. And so I just, I’m grateful Bella, we love it. I love the program. And I’m still I’m still excited about going through the rest of it. And I’m hoping that the other guys get to experience this too. You know, I know some of them are, but I’m just Yeah.
34:06
Oh, I love it. Yeah, thank you, Nick. Well,
34:09
I did not stop recording because I knew you were gonna do this. I knew you were gonna say more good stuff.
34:15
You know, identity or anything. I mean, you know, honestly, I’m not proud of the mistakes of my past. But the same time I kind of want people to hear him. You know, I think in ministry, whatever. I’m now excited to tell people about this turnaround. I’m so excited about like, because I want people to hear it. I want their hearts to get like, you know, the way minded and like, say, well, that bitterness you’ve got you’ve got to break it and you got to give your heart Your Holy Spirit it levels and you got to change it’s you know, it’s you know, because when you tell people this is what you hear from the pulpit. Love your wife as Christ loved the church. Okay, what does that mean? Be selfless and brighter a note, okay, well, that didn’t work. I tried that once. You know. No, you need to get right with you. Christ loved the church because Christ was selfless like you His heart, you know, and that it’s hard to get over that hump and like say, I gotta be selfless. That’s marriage feels selfish when you’re, you know, I’ve been lonely for a lot of years before I got married. And I’ve been single for exactly four years from the date that I broke off my first engagement. It was a four year anniversary of that date when I met my wife. Wow. And that was for lonely years, and I was really lonely. And so I started get selfish. I think I want to go into marriage and be happy and fulfilled. Well, that’s not Christ, not how Christ loved the church. Christ didn’t come to earth and say, Okay, what are you gonna do for me? And he texted, said the exact opposite. He said, I said, Man didn’t come to be served, but to serve and give his life. And I couldn’t quite I knew those verses, but I couldn’t quite get over the hump of what giving my life and I had couldn’t be better. I can’t be selfish. I have to forgive. I just done that a long time ago would have gone so much better for me, my wife and my kids, everybody, we’d all been happier. But, you know, I held on to it. So God is good. And his progress was great. And I’m just thrilled. I love
36:00
Praise God. Thank you, Nick.
36:09
Oh, my gosh, amazing. Truly. Thanks so much, Nick. And yeah, for you listener. I’m excited to have you on the men’s master class, free class much easier. You could go to delight y m.com. It’ll take you straight to the website to give you access to the masterclass. I’m so thrilled and grateful that you listen to to the story, and it should give you hope that even your marriage can transform by God’s grace. So let’s see you in the masterclass, get ready.