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He does not know it will cost him his life.
Sounds like a horror movie — where the killer is waiting in the woods without the person knowing.
But the person should never have come into the haunted house in the first place — if only he knew it would cost him his life.
(Isn’t that how those horror movies go? I don’t actually know, I don’t watch them.)
But, my hope is that this episode would grab you at your core.
I hope it does.
Our society says the absolute opposite of this about sexual sin.
It’s so sad and so awful the way sex outside of marriage, in our society, is touted as “normal” and even “healthy”.
Oh but it grieves God. And it destroys a man’s soul.
“He does not know it will cost him his life”. Prov 7:23
So I want to ring the bell. I want to yell in the streets — you don’t know the danger. You can’t see the wreckage, but it is happening whether you see it or not.
So, much of Proverbs warns against the temptation of the wrong way of sex (and so many other places explicitly as well as embedded in stories of men who made these mistakes themselves).
It is a powerful warning.
I hope and pray this episode shakes you from your slumber.
And puts the fear of God in you so you no longer see yourself as a victim but as one who “does not even go near her corner”.
Sexual sin should NOT be trifled with.
You know what sexual sin is for you (is it in reality or fantasy… all of that is the sin we are talking about.)
May you see the see evil and hide yourself, “But the naive proceed, and pay the penalty” Prv 22:3
That it might not cost you your life.
Blessings,
Belah
PS – Join the free Men’s Masterclass: Passionize Your Marriage (even if you’re the only one doing the work!) starting Oct 11
PPS – If you know your friend needs this material, invite them to the masterclass send him to delightym.com
transcript
0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. Hi, there, I want to thank you so much for joining me this is Bella. And if you’re new to the podcast, we talk a lot about intimacy. But I really work to make it presented in a way that is God honoring, and God glorifying and really keeps him at the center, because this is, this is his design. I didn’t make this up the world didn’t make this up. This was God’s design. And it’s impossible to look at the male and female form. And not say, from the very beginning of their formation, sex was in God’s design, it’s impossible to say that we’ve got the only way humanity could continue was through the means of physical intimacy, the only way So sex is absolutely in God’s design. And the more we search it out, in a mindset of how can I learn more about God and glorify Him more? Through this endeavor? I just want to say you’re on the right track. No, no, I don’t think this should consume your life. And I think that marriage and intimacy is is able to fuel God’s work. Elsewhere in your life, this should not be the only thing that’s going for you, it should not, I’m serious. But when you get this thing rights, and it’s helping to fuel the rest of your life and God’s work and helping you to love others, well, then that’s when I think it’s working, then that’s when I think things are going correctly. So I want to talk today about the importance of recognizing the danger of lust, adultery, pornography, allowing your eyes to go after someone other than your spouse, your eyes, your mind any of those things. It’s really important. And God is very clear about it in the Bible. And one of the ulterior motives I have here, in talking about it is not to condemn or make you feel more ashamed of yourself if you struggle this way. But really to say, let’s recognize sin a sin, let’s not be okay with the sin. And let’s change the circumstance so that you get to be filled up with your own spouse. And that leads me into a free opportunity I have for you this free men’s masterclass, and you’ve heard plenty of testimonials already. But you’ll hear your you are going to hear more. And they’re inspiring, because you can have hope that maybe you’ve been struggling with pornography, and lust, maybe even affair and this sort of thing is in your past. And all you’re thinking is well, it’s her fault. It’s her fault, it’s her fault. Well, listen. This is a really serious warning we’re going to get into today, but you yourself can be the one that changes your marriage. And the only way I can quote convince you is by saying look at all these other men that decided to take responsibility for their lives and make dramatic changes. So you can go to a completely free masterclass a sample class, if you will, that gives amazing insights. I’ve heard that many times over from husbands. And then if you decide to give yourself to this sort of work for three months, you may be able to see God dramatically transform your marriage in just that amount of time. But you’d have to give yourself to it. You have to decide this is my highest priority in this season. So you’ve got a couple of weeks out before you have to make that decision. But the masterclass starts October 11 So sign up delight your marriage.com/masterclass Alright, let’s dive in to this incredibly important topic
4:58
if you’ve listened to me at All, gentlemen, you know I’m on your side. All right, I wrote the book, delight your husband, it’s all about helping a wife have confidence, passion, and actual, the how tos the practicals, of oral sex for her husband. So I’m on your side, I recognize that this is a God designed craving for you that your wife would give wholeheartedly in sexual intimacy that she would be engaged that she would be enthusiastic that she would crave making love to you as as you do to her, that this would be a desire for her that this would be fun for her and exciting and spontaneous and visually amazing and seductive and fierce and, and passionate and relaxing and spiritual and intimate. All of those things. I’m on your side. Let me just tell you, I am on your side. And I want to help you get to that place. But if we start out with not seeing things clearly, from God’s perspective, I can’t help you get to the place you actually want to get to. Now, let’s have God’s perspective on it. Proverbs seven, it says my son, keep my words and treasure up my commandments with you. Keep my commandments and live. Keep my teaching as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers, write them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, you are my sister and call incite your intimate friend to keep you from the Forbidden woman from the adulterous with her smooth words. For at the window of my house I have looked out through my lattice and I have seen among the simple I have perceived among the youths, a young man lacking sense passing along the street near her corner, taking the road to her house, in the twilight in the evening, at the time of darkness and night. And behold, the woman meets him dressed as a prostitute wildly apart. She is loud and wayward. Her feet do not stay at home. Now in the street now in the market in every corner she lies in wait. She seizes him and kisses him and with bold face she says to him, I had to offer sacrifices and today I have paid my vows. So now I have come out to meet you to seek you eagerly and I have found you. I have spread my couch with coverings colored linens from Egyptian linen. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon Come let us take our fill of love to morning. Let us delight ourselves with love for my husband is not at home. He has gone on a long journey. He took a bag of money with him at full moon he will come with much seductive speech she persuades him with her smooth talk, she compels him all at once he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast till an arrow pierces its liver. As a bird rushes into a snare. He does not know that it will cost him his life. And now oh sons, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth. Let not your heart turn aside to her ways. Do not stray into her paths. For many a victim has she laid low, and all her slain are mighty are a mighty throng. And her house is the way to she’ll going down to the chambers of death. Wow. If that is not a warning, that is a warning. That is a warning from someone who is older and wiser and before Jesus, the wisest man who ever lived is he warning you to stay away from lust and adultery pornography, prostitution affairs. Get away from it. Verse seven, eight once again it says I have seen among the simple I’ve perceived among the youths a young man lacking sense passing along the street near her corner taking the road to her house. In the toilet in the evening at the time of night and darkness, listen, this young man was lacking sense means he was stupid. He was stupid to get himself even close to her Street, even to get somewhat possible maybe I’ll be tempted, it’s possible I could have these potential false. Don’t even allow the these opportunities on your phone, on your social media accounts on your TV stations, whatever it is to get you away from temptation, put it in place, put it in place, don’t even get close to the corner of where she is going to be at.
10:48
Because once again, he does not know that it will cost him his life. Oh, have I spoken and worked with men who wish they had not done such things to their family. They had not done such things to their wives. This is not a small thing for you to gratify your lust with another woman. And pornography is gratifying your sexual desire with someone other than your wife, it is considered adultery by Jesus Himself. He says if you lust after another woman, you commit adultery in your heart. It is a big deal. And it does impact your wife as it should. It is a big deal. So if you feel shame afterwards, it’s because that is God’s Holy Spirit saying this is not okay. You may not do this anymore. It’s not okay. And so I’m not here to condemn you but to say the way the world sees pornography is so, so wrong. And so sinful. And it’s not okay. So if ever I have said it in my podcast as though as though it were flippant or not a big deal, I do think it’s a big deal. And I recognize that sin is everywhere. We need to deal with it. We need to say it’s sin, we need to call it out and hold ourselves to the standard of I will not even go near the corner. I won’t even go near I won’t even watch that show. If it causes me to have lustful thoughts. I won’t even turn on that channel. I won’t even watch any media if it’s possibly going to move me towards sin. I am that zealous for God’s will in my life. That’s what I want for you. Don’t allow sin to creep in. Don’t allow it. Gentlemen, I am on your side. But this is not an okay use of your sexuality. It says all of the ways are before the Lord. All of your ways are before the Lord. And in Proverbs five. It does speak about, again about adultery. But it says in verse 21, it says, well, verse 20, why should you be intoxicated my son with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulterous? For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord. And he ponders all his paths. the iniquities of the wicked, ensnare him and he is held fast in the courts of his sin. He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he has led astray. I don’t want you to be unaware of how big a deal this is. Every time adultery is mentioned in the Bible, if you have struggled with pornography, or lust eats you, it’s talking about you. It’s a big deal. God cares about your sexuality. He does. And so you know, when I speak to men and they are so defeated, and they have had years of being downtrodden and downtrodden and downtrodden. I understand because I work with you and but I’m a coach, I am ready to help you. Let’s get up and fight this thing and get in a place that’s going to strategically transform your marriage so your wife can Han be the one that makes you feel as he says in verse 519. Or 18. Let your the your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely, dear grateful dough, let her breasts fill you at all times with delight, be intoxicated, always in her love. That’s what I want for you. But you have to go through some effort and energy and work to get there. If you realize and if you truly understand and fear
15:44
that adultery that it leads you to death, that it’s like your stag caught in a snare, and the hunter is about to stab you in the liver. If you really saw it that way, you would work pretty darn hard to change your marriage so that it is in a place that you feel fulfilled and you don’t go towards the corner of the adulterous of the prostitute. Not even flirt with it, not even. I mean, the, the if he only knew the danger he was flirting with. I mean, how many families have been destroyed by affairs by pornography addiction. It is horrific. And I will tell you, I literally was just helping somebody who as sad as it is, is in the middle of a divorce and the custody battle and the fighting back and forth. And this was you know, not somebody I was helping professionally. It was simply a friend. They wanted me to help them with some typing. And it’s just heartbreaking. heartbreaking to see that a family that could have stayed together. Now they’re fighting over who picks up who from what and who’s allowed to go to whose extracurricular activity and it’s like the the onus is no longer on the kids and what’s best for the kids. It’s on what’s going to harm the other spouse or ex spouse worse. It’s It’s horrific. Not to mention, it’s a huge financial toll. It’s $15,000 is the average divorce, just FYI. But you’re not even counting the amount of lifetime financial ruin that you are sacrificing because you’re you’re having a household’s income. So that’s potentially millions of dollars, I was actually just talking to a financial advisor just the other day and I was talking to him about this. And he knowingly nodded yes, that’s exactly what’s happening. So if you ignore the possible, you know, the spiritual piece that I’m reading to you right now, and if you also ignore the emotional piece of how that impacts your kids, for the rest of their lives, and then if you only focus on the financial piece, like what the world cares about, my gosh, there is no reason to flirt with this danger. If you would only discipline yourself. There’s a phrase that I did not come up with, but it’s out there and I love it. It says suffer the pain of discipline, or the pain of regret. Let this podcast the fact that you clicked on this podcast, give you enough dissatisfaction with yourself. That you decide the suffering of discipline is more is better, is going to give you more fruit and more joy and fulfillment that the other side of it than the pain that you are heading towards, for regret could ever give you the men I work with I esteem and I encourage I say Wow, you are a man of courage to go on this program and to give yourself to it and go through the awkward, uncomfortable, messy process of changing and witnessing what God could do in your life.
19:22
But it takes takes discipline. It takes discipline. And if I were to continue after that. In Proverbs in Proverbs 810 It says take my instruction instead of silver and knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is better than jewels and all that you may desire cannot compare with her. It’s just it’s just, it’s just constant. I think the last thing I’m going to read here is Just because it came up here is Proverbs 910. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight. For by me, your days will be multiplied and yours will be added to your life. If you are wise, you’re wise for yourself if you scoff, you alone will bear it. And then it continues to warn against adultery. The woman Folly is loud, she is seductive and knows nothing. She sits at the door of her house, she takes a seat at the highest places of the town, calling to those who pass by who are going straight on their way, whoever simple, let him turn in here. And to him who lacks sense she says stolen water is sweet and bread eaten and secret as pleasant, but he does not know that the dead are there. And her guests are in the depth of shul. Oh my gosh. I just want you to recognize you are missing it. Be adulterous, the seduction of pornography, the seduction of prostitution of affair of lusting after the whatever strip clubs or whatever comes up for you. When you notice your lust of watching some TV show of watching some movie, you are missing God’s design for your life. You are distracted from what God actually wants you to be about young man he has purposes for you. But because you’re so distracted by this, the flesh you’re you’re missing your god or deigned God designed calling. You’re missing it. Don’t even go by the corner. Don’t even have Hulu on your account, don’t even have Netflix subscription, take off the cable like whatever you have to do. Take off Wi Fi from your house, make it so you only can access the internet at work. Whatever you have to do get accountability partners, pay for the filters on your phone, get rid of your iPhone, get rid, like do whatever you have to do to say God, you are more important. I want a single focus on you God. Let me not go these ways. Let me not go with these paths. Forgive me, I repent. This is the last straw. I feel your conviction never again. Never again. Let me not grieve the Holy Spirit in this way. Again. I’m calling you out. I’m calling you out. This is not what your life will be about anymore. In Jesus name. It is over and you are now even today even right now. I want you to put the guards in place right now while the motivation is there while your commitment is there, do it now. Pause me if you need to, to, to get text the person that’s going to be your accountability partner, cancel the Netflix cancel this, cancel the that. Get people in place that are not going to allow this to continue. Give a call to somebody and confess and repent. They might be struggling in themselves. This needs to end now. Don’t allow what God wants to do in your life, in your marriage, in your family in your kids lives, to be put in jeopardy because of what the enemy is trying to work here let me pray for you Father God. You are the Holy Spirit and it is your kindness that leads us to repentance. It is your kindness God you desire depth, you desire depth of relationship with this one. You want it deeper, deeper deeper than they have had it before. You want to truer you want to pure God you want their mind and thoughts to be of things of you and their desires to be aligned with your heart God give them grace to have that discipline now, so that then when they come to see you face to face, they will they will know with confidence that they did it your way They pursued you, though they were not lackadaisical with the, the enemy’s taunts and temptations. Instead, they resisted the devil and he flee from them just like when you were in the desert tempted, you resist the devil and he flee from you as well. Give them Grace even now to make the hard choices so that they will be accountable now that they would bring it into the light now, so they would not undermine the good work you want to do through them in this world Father, you’ve called them up you’ve called them for more God give them the grace to see the danger and fight against it today and now in Jesus name I pray Amen. I love you. I’m praying for you speak the truth in love. That is my goal. I want to give you tools to transform your marriage in the same way. So you can do that free, wonderful masterclass to let your marriage.com/master class praying for you. God bless you. May you be encouraged to do what you need to do right now. So the conviction you feel motivates change. I love you. Goodbye.