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Do you ever feel humbled by your mistakes?
Do you ever feel flat-out humiliated?
Oh my, do I fall into that sometimes!
I think the enemy feels glad about that — and then the shame he heaps upon us while we’re recognizing the mistake (and maybe the enormity of it.)
And that’s when God’s truth (as Kyle, DYM Mentor, reminded me of yesterday) is so helpful.
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Romans 8:1
See, when we go out of our comfort zone and try to do God’s work, we’re going to trip. And that’s normal.
One reason I hope and pray that you have seen me trip is so that you can have more courage to get out there and do something that God has called you to do, also.
It takes courage, and we’re going to trip. I’ll raise my hand to that.
We’re going to mess up.
But the nice thing is God is present and He is helping us to get up and get better over and over again.
Note: Perfection isn’t even a real possibility anyway — who gets to decide what “perfect” even is? Who are we trying to impress, really? Which of the billions of humans’ opinions are you going to listen to? And what if their opinion changes?
But if you say, “I’m going to do my best. I’m going to do something bold”. You’re gonna mess up sometimes. And it’s good!
It feels terrible though. But that means you’re still living. Just like a plant, if you’re growing it means you’re living.
We have to own it and clean up the mess we made, but thank God you’re not perfect and you’re still growing.
Also, the great thing about God, is that He may reveal your imperfections to those who admire you, for the reason that they need to see you as “not God”.
They need to see God as God and you as a humble, imperfect servant who is just trying their best to make Him proud.
So…
Bravo to you. You’re out there! You’re doing it!
We’re not perfect. We’re making a mess, but we’re cleaning it up and trying to move forward a bit wiser and more compassionate next time.
(Also, if you want to see someone “making a mess in public” check out our website right now: delightyourmarriage.com
We’re in the middle of a refresh. And it’s definitely in the “getting there” mode.
Why didn’t we put an “under construction” sign up and reveal once it’s perfect? Well, then I would be taking away a lot of ways I serve you, plus how interesting is it to walk into someone’s workshop and see what they’re tinkering with as it happens? So, you’re welcome to see how we’re tinkering 🙂
Wishing you a fantastic rest of your day, may this episode bless you and give you courage!
Blessings,
Belah
PS — If you’d like your marriage to go from ok even good to wonderful — we’d love to help! delightyourmarriage.com/cc
Transcript
0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me Belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. Hi, there welcome. This is Bella. And I am grateful that we get to talk today. And by talking, I mean, I’m talking and you’re kind enough to listen. So thank you for that. Hopefully, at some point, I’ll actually be able to chat in a program with you and actually be able to be on the other side listening, that would be really fun. And if you’re in that camp that’s decided, You know what, I need this, I need help. I’m ready to grow. And it takes humility, I’ll be talking about that. Today, I’m going to talk about my own growth process. Sometimes it requires humility, sometimes it requires humiliation, right? It’s just the way growth is sometimes it’s excruciating, but you know, plain old growing pains, that hurts and you could ask your own kids, it can hurt sometimes to grow. Anyway, if you’re ready for the growth, and you recognize it’s not going to be comfortable, it might take some work, and it might take some time, it might take some money. If you’re ready for that though, you can go to delight your marriage.com/cc. If you’re like you know what this marriage needs, needs work, it needs fixing, and I can’t do this by myself, I’ve been throwing a bunch of stuff at the wall, and I need the system and I need the proven process. If that’s you, then I would love to speak with you. And by that, I mean once you get into a program and our clarity visors can help you discern whether or not we’d be the right fit. And if we are we’ll we’ll tell you all the details of SO and how to get you started. So delight your marriage.com/cc get on a call as soon as you can. The clarity advisor schedules do fill up. So if you need help this now is the time. Alrighty, well, let’s go ahead and dive in. I think this is a really important topic for all of us, especially if you’re in the moment right now where you feel excruciating pain, because, man, it’s it’s tough making mistakes. But as my wonderful office manager told me just the other day, she’s like, You know what, if you weren’t doing anything, you wouldn’t make mistakes. So there you go. If we do things, we make mistakes doing them. So that’s, that’s a win there. So let’s dive in. And we’ll chat more on the other side of a little transition music for you. So I try to be messy in front of you. And it takes courage. I laugh about it quite a bit. But it takes courage to be messy, it’s easier to present yourself as perfect. And all of those things I really do think it is. But I think we can have greater impact on people, if we can love them in such a way that they take down their guards as well. And I think that’s true in your marriage. And so if you present yourself as perfect to your spouse, and you don’t apologize, and you don’t accept the fact that you’ve made mistakes, then they also don’t behave that way. And then there’s these guards between the two of you. But if you recognize just the reality of making mistakes is part of the human condition that that’s part of our sinful nature. And unless we’re Jesus, that’s our reality. We’re going to be making mistakes. And so I want to just invite you that making mistakes, there’s okay and it’s normal. And I’m doing them too. And I guess there’s a book I’ve never read, but it’s called failing forward. And I think it’s true, we’re going to be failing. And if we’re not failing, we’re not doing important stuff.
4:23
Now the author of failing forward I really liked so I don’t mind sharing that. It’s John Maxwell. But anyway, it’s just the idea that we we have to be learning as we’re growing. And and it’s, it can be absolutely humiliating, humiliating. It’s not just taking humility to acknowledge your mistake and do the hard work of processing. What led you to that mistake, but also doing the hard work of processing how to Make amends for that mistake. And then, you know, the thing, the thing The truth is, as humans, and even though the feelings are excruciating in the moment, they don’t last. They don’t last and they do feel excruciating in the moment, I, I’m just kind of coming off over a, what should I call it? I feel like I should call it a, a miss a mistake a hangover, or like, an awareness of an error hangover or something like that? Because sometimes in the moment, you don’t realize it. And then afterwards, you’re like, I did what? I did, what do I made this, you know, really, I really hurt somebody, without maybe meaning to in the moment, or you didn’t realize that you’re, you know, what was going on inside of you, and what was the effect and how it hurt them. And that can that can be the case for you in your marriage. Like, maybe there was something that happened years ago, that you are still feeling shamed for. And so I want to just give you some context of, of how I do this. And I think the best thing to do is not to push it away from your thoughts. As much as there’s some more productive ways of handling it. And so, it’s interesting, because now that I’m saying that there’s a, there is a, there was a job I did years ago that I just wasn’t, I wasn’t trained for I wasn’t, I wasn’t cut out for just the the role, it was the wrong role for me, and I wasn’t able to serve the people in my care well, and, yeah, I feel like I harmed those, those, those people I served. And, you know, I don’t, I don’t know any of them. And I can’t go back and apologize. And, you know, it wasn’t walking, um, it was I working closely with Jesus, I guess I was immature to a greater degree than I am now. And, and I just so anyway, so my process, in that situation, now that I realize I’m still carrying shame for that situation, I’m going to go back and, and kind of apply this system to, to that situation. So I stopped carrying the shame and it stops being something that when it comes to mine, I have to push it away after I push it away and push it away. So here’s the first thing I think is important is sharing it, sharing the mistake with someone, someone that’s safe. So, you know, especially if it’s something against your spouse, it might be that you’re going to share your mistake with a close friend, a close mentor, something that you have someone that you trust. You know, I think the reason that there’s a lot of humans involved in marriages in in sorry, in weddings, is because I think we’re actually supposed to have people that are on our side, throughout our marriage, because marriage isn’t very easy. And we need humans to support and be supportive in it. Now, of course, this has to be a person this is not gossiping. This is you confessing your sins, and getting their perspective and helping letting them help you get out of the shame. Because when you’re in this place of just overwhelming shame about your mistake, it’s not possible for you to really objectively say what what happened here. So one thing is to speak about it with someone the next thing and this is probably gonna sound silly, but it’s super duper practical, is to sleep.
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I don’t know what happens in sleep. I mean, certainly there are scientific reasons. Sleep is so important. Like, I’ve read that things like the metabolic waste gets cleaned away from your brain when you sleep. Another one is about like your brain sometimes depression. Some, some scholars believe that it’s actually out of an inflamed brain like there’s inflammation in your brain, which is why your diet actually does impact the way your brain functions. So if you’re eating sugars and processed carbs and these sorts of things, and I ice cream, like the combination of dairy and sweets can be actually really harmful to your brain. And addictive qualities, etc, etc, etc. there’s scientific evidence that that inflames your brain And so that leads to depression and all these other bad results. Okay, so that’s kind of some some piece there. But the actual act of sleeping getting eight, nine, maybe more than that hours of sleep can help lessen that inflammation and help lessen the you know, just the the low the anxiety that sometimes comes with this feeling of mistakes. So that’s what I would encourage. And so hopefully, that also clarifies that I encourage cleaning up your diet, even though in the moment of stress and difficult emotions, so often, and myself included, historically speaking, turning to food just feels like the best answer. And yet, that’s actually can exacerbate the issue further, the other thing that’s very easy to do, and definitely has been my go to in the past is things like drowning out the feelings by some kind of media, whether that’s a movie or a show, or social media or something. And again, that also can exacerbate the issue. But if you can kind of give it to God, you know, talk it through with someone, give it to God, sleep, you know, drink water, take care of yourself, as you’re processing. You know, the thing about difficult experiences and significant mistakes, is that they are often our best teachers, they’re often our best teachers, it’s, it is excruciating. In the moment, it’s hard. And I’m on your side with that I have made some serious mistakes. And it’s, it’s just tough. And so when we’re in the moment to just calm down those emotions that can really be helpful. Or the other thing that I find really helpful is to journal the lessons. So, so often, you know, the shame Brene Brown, if you’re not familiar with her work, I like the thing she says specifically around shame and around vulnerability. She’s got a couple of TED Talks out there that are just fantastic. So Brene Brown, but she talks about how shame is I am a mistake. And guilt is I made a mistake. So guilt can be really helpful, because it’s like I made a mistake, Oh, I feel terrible, I made a mistake, and then you learn from it. But if you’re in the place of shame, where you’re saying I am a mistake, oh, I am a bad, it’s etc, etc, that’s that’s where the devil is actually just lying to you. And, and so we need to get out of that space. And a lot of times, you know, bringing those lies into the light allows God to speak maybe through again, a mentor or a friend to show us what’s true. And so in the same way, when you’re journaling, you know what happens? What, for me, is a good question. And I learned this from a guy named Tim Ferriss. I really liked his question that he said, is what? How can I see this as a gift? How can I see this as a gift? And when we’re asking ourselves the right questions, then empowering questions that helps us to have better answers. But if like, we’re asking ourselves the question, why did this happen?
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You know, why am I such an idiot? Those sorts of things, that’s not going to help anything because it’s, it’s, your brain is going to go around, run around and try to prove your belief. And yet the, the assumption in that question is the belief that you are an idiot, and so your body, your brains gonna be like, Well, I was, you know, wasn’t raised right, and I wasn’t this and that, and maybe there’s some value to that. But for the most part, it’s just going to be more maybe victim mentality or blaming mentality, or it’s not going to really give you I think, the empowering tools to move forward. So how can I see this as a gift I think is very helpful. Another question, I think is very helpful is what can I learn from this? What can I learn from this? How can I grow from this? How can my you know and again, if this is with your spouse, how can my relationship improve because of this or how can my character improve because of this or how can my serving my wife or serving my husband improved because of this, or how can my motivations improve because of this? Or how can my actions improve because of this? And, and just, you know, kind of be in a prayerful space, ask God, are there any things that I need to learn here? Are there any ways I need to grow here. And in journal, these things really assume that God’s going to give you practical ways of learning. And I, I’ve told you in different episodes in the past, that I don’t want a painful experience to go by, without me learning from it. Because either I’m going to learn, so I don’t really have to deal with that painful experience. But also, I don’t accidentally hurt somebody else, or unconsciously in the moment, hurt somebody else, etc, etc. Or, you know, the painful experience may be that I was hurt by somebody else. And I need to learn from that situation so that I don’t hurt somebody else. Or maybe I witnessed somebody hurt someone else. And I need to, you know, grow from that experience, so that I’m careful in those ways. So I think this is really key, and important. And as again, you know, one thing I often forget, because of just my personality, I don’t see myself as somebody who has a lot of power, but because I’ve been, because the truth is, I just do, and I just don’t see myself that way. A lot of us do. And a lot of us don’t see ourselves that way. We have influence on others, we are leaders, in our realms, in our families, we are leaders in our relationships with our spouse, we’re leaders in our ministries, we’re leaders in our workplaces are leaders. And so if we don’t recognize we have a lot of influence on others, and we can really, either really prove the way somebody sees themselves or really harm the way somebody sees themselves, and the way somebody sees God, because if they’re looking to me as a spiritual mentor, to a good degree, hopefully not super, super strong, but to a degree, I have a responsibility to treat them with kindness and respect and love. So that they see God in that way. Because that’s what God is. And so I make mistakes. And, and I’ve made one recently, and as it’s excruciating and humiliating is it is, the important thing is that I own it, and take responsibility for it and grow from it. And by God’s grace, it was in front of some that,
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that have a relationship with me to know that that’s not, it’s not my typical. And the person that I feel I really hurt. I was able to talk to and apologize for but you know, it’s interesting, because the biggest thing is, it’s really not what I said, it’s the way I said it. And that’s the biggest thing, really often in our conversations and interactions with our spouses is, it’s often not what we say, but it’s how we say it. And I’m really impacted by James and you know, that’s James is so good. If you haven’t looked at James recently, it’s just, it’s just full of so much good practical wisdom. But, you know, in James 317, it says, but the wisdom from above, is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy, and good fruits, impartial and sincere, and a harvest of righteousness in sown in peace by those who make peace. And so what I encourage you to think about is, you know, if you feel like something needs to be said, in whatever realm you’re in, whatever, you know, maybe you need to correct your spouse about something or you feel like a spiritual community needs to be corrected or you feel like a leader somewhere needs to be corrected or you feel like somebody in your influence, Circle of Influence needs to be corrected. That’s something we’ve got to first of all, think about, is it gentle? Is it peaceable? Is it open to reason? Is it full of mercy and good fruits? Is it impartial and sincere? And you know, sometimes in you know, my relationships, my close relationships, I also have to just think is this now, is this the timing? You know, maybe there’s a better timing and the other thing that I really have learned through this mistake, I made is that I, I think that it’s more important that someone not hear all of my thoughts. Because they’re, they’re on a journey. And it’s more than just my time with them. And so, you know, maybe I say 20% of what I’m feeling that that would be helpful for them, like, just have that in my head, like what’s going to be helpful for them where they are right now. And maybe the rest of what I’m thinking will be helpful sometime down the road. And maybe I’m not the person in their life that needs to sow that seed. I think sometimes I feel the pressure of, you know, it’s my responsibility to say all the things but I, I don’t need to be because I can trust God for that God can be the one to say what needs to be said. And then I, this may have actually been a quote from John Maxwell. Honestly, I can’t remember who said this, but it’s, um, you know, they’ll forget what you said. But they’ll remember how you made them feel. They’ll forget what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel. And that’s just human nature. Proverbs is full of things that helps us to remember over and over and over again, like even sweetness in your in your words and graciousness in your words and, and how you can be more persuasive by graciousness, then you can be by directness, and again, I teach this and then made the mistake of it. So you know, the the Scripture quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. And, yeah, I think that’s really key. You know, and I think the key also is I think there was insecurity that motivated some of my own actions. And I think a lot of times we can think about that and consider like, the way I acted, was it motivated by my own insecurity? Was it motivated by my own lack of trust in God or trust in? You know, I can look silly right now I can make mistakes in front of people. These these sorts of things we really have to be thinking about.
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And then I think the next scripture that would be great to think about is James three, one, not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know, that we who teach will be judged more strictly. Ouch. straight again. Now many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know, that we who teach will be judged more strictly. And what I love from there, it also says, We all stumble in many ways, anyone who is never at fault in what they say, is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. Now, those both those verses, help to normalize everything, right? Because the truth of the matter, he’s basically saying is, if you never make a mistake, by speaking, you are perfect. And so that’s like, okay, so none of us are perfect, but it’s also saying, but listen, teachers, you’ve got a higher responsibility. You’ve got to, you’ve got to take your stuff seriously. And, and so, you know, I often am playful and silly in these sorts of things. But it’s because if I can’t get you to be comfortable, real work can’t happen. If you don’t bring down your guards and say, okay, she can be silly, she can make mistakes in front of me, she can be, you know, courageous to just, you know, share her own mistakes, her own insecurities, etc, etc, then I can too, than I can, too, because we can’t grow. I don’t think we grow in a vacuum. Very often. I don’t know. I mean, I think monks, I think there is definitely sila to silence and solitude there. They were important in our lives. That’s definitely a place God can teach us that but I think we also are supposed to have brothers and sisters that are teaching us That’s why Jesus left us in community. You know, it, he left us in Christian community on purpose. So we’re not supposed to grow in a vacuum, but that means we’re gonna make mistakes. If we’re around other humans, we’re gonna be, you know, bumped up against them, and I enter sharpening iron and the gold is refined in the fire. And so I just want to invite you to recognize that in your marriage to that, if you’re if this is your opportunity to grow, and when you have made mistakes and you feel ashamed, and you feel guilt, okay, you know, we need to get out of the shame. That’s not actually helping us. And there’s different ways we can do that. I invited you to, to share with someone I invited you to sleep, I invited you to take care of yourself, drink water, go on walks, talk to God, see what you can do to give it to God recognize it’s temporary? And then, right, right, what are the lessons? What are the ways God wants to teach you through this? Because it is his kindness that leads us to repentance. You know, He disciplines those he loves. And if we think about discipline, less of like, you know, sometimes people say discipline, and they’re talking about spanking their kids, right? You know, some people called discipline a little differently in their home, it’s not spanking. But the point is that, I don’t think we’re talking about discipline, you know, disciples, right? Jesus called us to be disciples, we’re supposed to be growers, we’re supposed to be teachable, we’re supposed to be constantly getting better. And that’s a posture of our heart, that God, I want to make you proud of me, I want to grow, I don’t want to hurt my spouse, or the people in my care, I want to get better. And I know that even though we make mistakes, and we, you know, hurt each other at times, there is reason to believe and trust that God is growing us and, and when he’s discipling us when he’s discipline us is because He loves us. And He wants us to be more effective. And he wants us to live in the full potential of what he’s made us to live out. And so that’s my invitation is to see what you can do to write out your growth, and not be ashamed of yourself. But to not let it move towards shame, but let it move towards growth. And if somebody else is
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humbling themselves in front of you, and apologizing, let’s say your spouse really hurt you. And then they apologize for it, the best thing you can do is say I just even if in the moment, you can’t say I forgive you, in the moment, you can say that really means so much to me. Thank you for saying that, it means so much to me, I will definitely circle back to this, I have made mistakes, too. Thank you for saying that. You know that you can do like a stop gap. You know, there have been times that I have really been hurt by someone and they apologize. And I’m just like I’m in my head, I’m just not ready to respond yet. But I can definitely immediately in their moment of vulnerability, let them know that this meant a lot to me. And I’m going to be circling back really soon. Because I love them and I so appreciate them, you know, so at least you can kind of have a little bit of communication, connection and then circle back. So anyway, those are just some thoughts if you’re on the receiving end of somebody humbling themselves and apologizing. Also, by the way, I am definitely one who, who in my life vision document. One of my standards of myself is to apologize when I’ve made mistakes, even if it’s a long time later. So. So that’s what I try to do. I am not perfect at that. And there are still apologies that I need to make. And I’m kind of coming up with the ways to do it. But that’s something I try to do. I think it’s also really important as kind of a public figure, if you will, to be really like I’m a leader, I need to I need to role model what I’m inviting other people to do. Like that’s really important. That’s really important to role model what I want others to do, and I hope and pray that God doesn’t need it to be in some really public way instead, I can just kind of clean up the little messes as they happen and I grow from them little by little by little instead of like unfortunately what we see sometimes in in Oregon, you know Christian organizations where it’s like you know you’re trying to speak from God you know, you’re trying to do God’s will you’re trying to teach them and then it’s like, all the sudden all this these Bad things come out all at once, because they just these messes that happen because life is messy. And Christian work is messy, it all comes out all at once. Because it’s like the messes and the mistakes weren’t cleaned up along the way. And I want that for your marriage, I want you to humble, just live in humility, I want you to make mistakes and clean them up. And that’s the way we live. And we apologize, and we feel crappy for a little while, but we learn from it and we grow from it. And if we didn’t feel crappy, we probably wouldn’t grow from it. So yeah, so that’s, you know, we’re gonna learn, and we might have a hard day or two, because we made that mistake. And that’s to be expected. Because we care about the people that we might hurt. And I care about the people that I hurt. And I want you to as well, and I don’t ever want to get to a place where I don’t care, because that’s, that’s when I that’s when we’re starting to act like machines, and we stop acting like humans, because we want to care about each other. And the other thing about this work is messy. You know, all the work I do in dy M is messy work. And by God’s grace, it’s messy work. And a lot of times people come out way better by God’s grace. And then sometimes there’s gets a little messy and make mistakes, and we apologize and have to clean it up. And again, you know, one thing I love that I learned, I guess, who knows how long ago, but you know, I have I have definitely been hurt by spiritual leaders in my life. And, and haven’t always come back and cleaned it up. And, and the thing is, those that have, I’ll say this, that their, my respect for them has grown immensely. Because they, they have they listened to my heart and they wanted to hear how I how I felt hurt, and, and they cared enough to know. But then for those, it’s really an insecurity thing. If you’re a leader, it’s it’s insecure, it’s, uh, you know, you’re out in front all the time. And so it’s hard to, to be told that you’re doing it wrong, or to be criticized or that sort of thing. It’s, it’s really hard. And so it’s my, you know, I’m tempted by not apologizing, or by not owning it, and, and, etc, is because I’m tempted to just
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hide from that because of insecurity. And I think that’s all of us, when we don’t want to apologize for something, it’s out of insecurity. So if you don’t want to apologize for something with your spouse that happened maybe years ago, but you know, it’s still hurting them. Or, you know, you just feel conviction in your heart that, you know, maybe you apologized in the moment, but maybe you didn’t apologize for everything that now you understand more and more, how much it hurt them, for example, and you need to apologize for more, you know, it’s insecurity and, and, and that’s often what’s actually holding us back. And that’s when I often think it looks like pride, but it’s really pride covered insecurity. Because once you apologize for every one thing, it means you have to apologize for a ton more things, right. And I know I’m I can think of examples in my life where I’ve, you know, I think they know and feel convicted about their about what they did. But once they apologize for one thing, it means they have to apologize for kind of a lifestyle of, of, of treating people a certain way or etc, etc. So, anyway, listen, we’re we’re all learning. And hopefully this gives you license to say, You know what, I can do this, I can do this. And you know, sometimes I think I
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my team told me not too long ago. They affirm that I’m kind of a catalyst. And I do see myself as that it really is awful sometimes
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that I have to be a catalyst because it it you know, is good because sometimes people will have to like kind of bump up against something hard to be able to say, hey, hey, this needs to change. But then sometimes it’s a catalyst of like, I’ve got to be the example of what humbling yourself and humiliating yourself and walking through excruciating feelings and taking ownership of your mistakes. What that looks like, in a more public way than others because if I don’t do that, in front of others, they won’t see how to do it in their own ways. Alright, so these are kind of just My guidance for you on how to apologize for your mistakes in your marriage. But elsewhere too, because when you get really good at apologizing in your marriage, it becomes a lot easier to do it elsewhere. And the reason you feel the hard feelings around it is because you’re not distracting yourself away from those hard feelings. Where we have to feel these feelings in order to take the steps that need to be taken, that God wants us to take to correct our mistakes and feel better. That we can feel at peace because we owned it and we took we cleaned up our mess and we helped the other person that we harmed. And yeah, so let me go ahead and pray for us. And we can walk through this together. So Father, I just believe that the person listening you, you had them click on this episode because they needed it. And Lord, I thank you that you discipline us because you love us. And it’s your kindness that leads us to repentance, and you want us to be better followers of you, you want us to be disciples of you, doing this thing better, so that we can love others better that we don’t squander the time that we have here, father, and I just pray, Lord, if anyone out there, even if it’s one person needed to hear this, I needed to hear that I am falling in front of my, you know, I am falling and failing at times. But my goal is to take ownership of it. My goal is to make you proud of me and the way I deal with it. And, and I pray that this person would have strength, and they would be emboldened to even go back to people years later, and apologize. Because of how healing that could be for them. You know, I think of people that I myself have been harmed by and gosh, it would have meant a lot and even now would mean a lot to me to hear from them. And to hear that. They take ownership of that and want to apologize for it. So and Lord help us not to be scared of the fallout from those words. But help us to just recognize, Lord that you are doing what only you can do and hearts and you would heal hearts. In Jesus name. Amen. All righty, my friends, thank you for listening. And I do just hope and pray that this has embolden you to do what maybe God wants you to do in your marriage or in another relationship that that has been broken because we we need to. We need to love each other well and a big part of that is apologizing when we’ve made the mistakes because we do make mistakes. That’s reality. It’s real. And you can do this. You can do this and it’s not too late. It’s not too late. Already. God bless you. Thank you for listening. I love you. And if we can help you if we can help you don’t don’t delay. Go to delight your marriage.com/cc and and we’ll see how we can. Yeah, give God glory for transformations in your marriage. Already. God bless you talk soon