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Duty sex…this is such a huge challenge for SO many couples – on both sides of the aisle!
Husbands and wives, how does our personal approach to sexual intimacy affect our spouse?
Does sexual intimacy within our marriage lead us toward one another or away from one another?
And if it often or sometimes leads us away from each other, is that our Creator’s intention? How do we fix this? Can it be fixed?
The fact of the matter is, the answers to these questions can be hard to come by! There just isn’t a lot of guidance out there for couples who want a God-honoring sexual relationship in their marriage!
If sexual intimacy is a gift from our Creator – and we know that ALL of His gifts are good – then why is this area of our lives so often filled with hurt and pain?
Does it really matter whose fault it is? Playing the blame game doesn’t fix the problem, does it. Can one spouse change the dynamics in our marriages? YES – a thousand times, YES!! We’ve seen it! We’ve experienced it!
Here at Delight Your Marriage, God has blessed Belah with a lot of really good advice and encouragement for couples in this specific arena. Yes! There are principles that we can learn and apply to help us grow in our relationships – not just in the area of sexual intimacy, but in the overall connection within our marriage. This is what Delight Your Marriage is all about!
Okay, now this is THE bonus piece of information here that we hope you don’t miss because it can be cliche or common to our ears: THE key of loving others well is to be filled up with Jesus’ love and to lean into loving Him well! He IS love! As we grow in His love, the fruit of the Spirit becomes more abundant in OUR lives! I Cor. 14:1 “Pursue love…”
Would you pause right there and snatch that and think on it for a bit? I’m dead serious!
You know, we’re similar to a tree. Have you seen a branch on a tree that is partly broken off? What does the branch generally look like? A lot of times the leaves are shriveling up, right? The health of the branch is directly correlated to how well the branch is connected to the trunk of the tree.
Are we feeling shriveled up? Are we feeling unfruitful? Are we struggling to experience the abundant life that Jesus has offered to us? …That’s a good gauge that we need to check our attachment to The Vine. (John 15)
Do you need some guidance, accountability, and encouragement to grow in these areas? We want to help you!
We’re SO excited to announce we are offering a FREE men’s course – it will only be available for a very short time! We offer this only a few times/year. March 28th is when the first lesson will be released. Sign up here if you want to join us!
Transcript
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Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me belah rose as I dive deep into the beauty, power and truth about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage. Right, welcome. My name is Bella. And if this is your first time, I want to say thank you. I am beyond excited to talk about this topic. It’s something I have planned for a while. And if you have been with the podcast for a while, I want to say I’m excited to be back I just finished a sabbatical and it has been such a joy rejoining this work and serving you all it’s it’s amazing to to hear from you and to hear what God is doing in your lives and your marriages through this work. It’s astounding through our team. The team is amazing, as you may have heard last week, and what we’re excited about that’s coming down the pike is the men’s masculinity reclaimed foundations course this is a free course. But it’s based on our three month flagship program, masculinity reclaimed. So if you have listened to any of the transformation stories, you know, that this thing is amazing what God does through it. And again, we give God all the glory. And we just have the opportunity to serve through a system through strategy. And so this is a free masculinity reclaimed foundations course. And it’s going on March 28. So I encourage you to mark your calendar, and really set this up well, because it’ll be a limited time, we’ve really aimed to make it interactive, our team is poised and ready to serve you during the training period where it’ll be available, but Mark your calendar, march 28, it’s a Monday, and the first one is going to be released, assume that it’ll take 30 to 45 minutes to get through, not just the material, but also some of the homework that we invite you to do. And oh my gosh, God has moved powerfully in this material in the past, and it’s updated, refreshed. If you’ve gone through some material like this, you’ll you’ll find out that we’ve really worked hard to make it even better for you all. So I’m so excited about this topic, we are only doing the training for the men this time round. But in a couple of months, we’ll be focused on a free training and an exciting thing for the women. So stick around women, keep listening to the podcast. And if you need help. Now if you if you want to change your marriage now go to delight your marriage.com/cc get on a clarity call with a with an advisor and see if we can help you in your marriage and witness God transform things. So for men sign up, delight your marriage.com/ Men’s course, for wives, you can go ahead and get on a clarity call at delight your marriage.com/cc. All right, let’s go ahead and dive in. Okay, so this episode is for husbands and for wives. Because the truth of the matter is duty sex is a huge problem in marriages, and maybe I want to speak to husbands and wives on this because for wives, this is a problem for you. And this is a problem for your husband. So why does this hurt your husband? Let’s start out there. But I don’t want to finish there. I want to understand how it hurts you too. And I also want to give husband some insight into your wife, and also some practical had no house and what to do to move the ball forward. So that’s what this episode is all about. And again, if you want more of this type of insight, sign up for the men’s masculinity reclaimed free foundations course. That’s coming up right around the corner. Okay, so here it is. Dear wife, why is duty sex hurtful to your husband? How does that hurt him? Well, the intimacy framework that delight your marriage is really that’s where we dumbed down. So much of our what we teach here is, first of all, what a wife needs to feel fulfilled in her marriage in our intimate relationship is to feel safe, to feel safe to feel that her emotions matter to feel that she has held that he cares about her who listens to her hearts safe accepted for who she is not judged. Not demeaned, not told what to do.
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I mean, safe. The next one is known that who she is she’s unique. She’s different. She’s unusual, in all the right ways that God designed her that way. And then the final thing is that she’s wholeheartedly cherished. That’s the romance. But it’s also every little time that you’re with her, you, you reach out and you you give her some kind of indication that she matters to you. She’s cherished, she’s treasured in your heart, and practically speaking, okay, so that’s what the wife is looking for. Now, let’s talk about the husband, their wife, let’s let’s find out, what does your husband need to feel fully filled up in his marriage? The first one is respect. And you might know that you might know the the verse that supports that, you might have heard that plenty of times what in the world does that mean? Well, what I witness all the time, even in people who have pretty good marriages is this thing is lacking. Unfortunately, a lot of times, women, they mother, their husbands, they’ll tell him what to do, they’ll say, you know, make sure you do this, make sure you do that. Don’t forget this, don’t forget. And it might even be as simple as you know, telling him, make sure he eats more greens, or don’t make sure he, you know, trims his beard the right way. Or don’t forget to, you know, turn left at the stop sign like, he knows he was a full grown man before you ever met him. And that’s how he feels. So when you do stuff like that, and I used to do stuff like that. So I get, I get the temptation to do that. But not only that the mothering aspect, but the criticizing, and the correcting, and the teaching and demeaning, and the frustrated, even just elevated picture pitch of your voice, or the ugly faces, I mean, all of those things, that’s disrespect. And especially if that kind of stuff happens in public, it is just totally emasculating. So we’ve got the respect. Now, the second one is admiration, admiration, that not only does he need the respect, he also needs you to be his cheerleader. He needs to feel that you know, how great he is that that he is this awesome man that that you look up to and you admire, and you appreciate? And you find out what are his strengths. And that’s what you focus on. That’s what you talk about. That’s what you think about. And you know, he stands up in that the way you think about him, becomes his perception of himself. I mean, You are the closest relationship to him. Of course, that’s how he’s going to think about himself. Because, I mean, the obvious mindset is, well, she must know me if she thinks I’m a loser, because she’s always trying to tell me what to do and always try to, because that’s the assumption, right? If you’re trying to tell him what to do, then she must think I’m stupid. Well, maybe I am. You know, there’s just this underlying maybe it’s even subconscious. But when my husband didn’t get respect and admire admiration from me, he just turned into a I like to call it just like a slog on the couch. That’s not a good word. But that’s how it he just gave up. While she’s never happy. Why don’t why even try. And that’s how it was in lots of areas of our lives until I woke up and said, Whoa, I’m the one who’s not allowing him to thrive. I’m the one that’s treating him like a child. Of course, he’s like, Well, what’s the point? She’s going to do it her way? Anyway, she’s going to tell me how to load the dishwasher the right way. So So might as well just leave it for her. And if you’re exhausted, it’s probably because you’ve been wittingly on an Banano to you, you didn’t realize that you were undermining his motivation every step of the way until he just gave up. So that’s the second piece is admiration. And the third piece which is sex, sexual intimacy, but it’s more than just sex. It’s wholehearted sexual intimacy, wholehearted sexual intimacy, that that word there is huge. Because yes, God created him with an appetite. Of course he did. He did. We’ll talk about that more. But he also created your husband with a emotional craving around sexual intimacy. It’s not just a physical release. It is that thank God it is that but it is also an emotional craving of closeness with you. He feels loved, and he feels he can love you. Through sexual intimacy. Both of these elements, they’re so close to his heart. They’re they’re interconnected.
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And so I use the example quite a lot like, what if he took you on a date? And, gosh, you get all dressed up, you’re so excited. You know, this is just an exciting thing. You can’t wait for this date he has, he scarcely ever takes you on a date. And, you know, he takes you to a restaurant, oh my gosh, we’re gonna go there, it’s gonna be so fun. And then he just sits there with a cross arms and just kind of just lets you order whatever you want. He’s totally just there to check the box that I took my wife on a date. I mean, how hurtful would that be? That would that would not see in his mind. He’s like, Well, it satisfies the physical desire. She ate, didn’t she? Like, what’s the problem? But no, it doesn’t satisfy the emotional hunger of being cherished and loved and adored. My goodness. No, absolutely not. And honestly, even if he was present, okay, great. So he’s present. But is he looking at you in the eyes? Is he grasping your hand? Is he asking you questions? Is he taking the lead? Maybe even ordering you something, something he knows you would like? Is that? Wouldn’t that be, you know, infinitely more fulfilling than for him to have a? Yeah, go ahead and get it over with kind of attitude? Yes. And in fact, if he had the wrong attitude, the wrong heart behind it, it would undermine your enjoyment. You might even say forget it. We don’t know. I’m not going to go on a date with you. This is this is this is worse than if we did nothing. And I will tell you sometimes that’s the husband I work with. Sometimes the husbands I’m working with are saying she’s not there. She’s not there in her heart. i It’s better that we just not even do it. It’s not worth it. It almost cheapens the act completely. And that’s not your husband does not think the act of sexual intimacy is cheap. He does not. He does not he has a different type of sex frequently than what wives desire. Wives assume sex is slow and spiritual and meditative and just relaxing and in maybe doesn’t even include orgasm. Like that’s okay that wives often desire that. And generally, when I teach that I talk about that’s more like feminine type sex or passionate sex versus what I call fear sex or masculine sex, where it’s, that’s the seduction, that’s the lingerie that’s the plenty of different positions and lots of variety and surprises and, and fierce attitudes that’s more often and definitely including orgasm for both parties. If, if he can help it. That’s often the type, if you will, of sexual intimacy that your husband is craving. But in your mind, as a wife, you might be thinking, yeah, that’s just for him. That’s just for his pleasure. I don’t get anything out of that. So I’m just going to endure it till he’s done. And then we’ll, we’ll go on and, you know, hopefully he won’t be crabby for a couple more days. And that’s just it’s so unfulfilling. Like yeah, I mean, it feels like he’s taking the crumbs and that cheapens his ability to enjoy it and and feel filled up by it in the way that God created him. It’s okay that He desires sex in a different way than you do. It’s okay that he craves it in a different way than you do. But kind of showing up to sexual intimacy without a wholehearted stance is not going to fulfill him, it’s going to hurt him, hurt his heart. And maybe, yeah, maybe he’s just kind of dealt with it for so long that he’s like, Well, I guess this is as good as it gets. And, you know, I’ll take something rather than nothing. And you know, great, I’m glad that’s his stance. That’s the right stance to have, he should he should be grateful for what she gives him. So show give him more but because I’m talking to you, dear wife, this wise woman who wants to love her husband, well, I want you to know that it’s our opportunity to love our husbands through sexual intimacy through whole hearted sexual intimacy, just satisfying his physical release. It doesn’t satisfy that true craving that God made him to have. God designed him that way. God designed him to to see curves and get interested. And how cool is it that he sees your curves and he’s interested Like, that’s great.
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And God designed in that way. And you have an opportunity to empower him and encourage him and love on him in this way, just like he has the opportunity to give you all sorts of beautiful, romantic gestures. And that’s his opportunity. Is it required? No, no, there’s no rulebook on marriage who have to do XYZ? No. But gosh, if you want your wife to be over the moon happy, like, this is the way to do it. And in the same way, as a wife, if you want your husband over the moon happy? Yeah, why would you not? Why wouldn’t you want your husband being the happiest man on the planet? Why not? Because you and I probably, hopefully, you you agree with me that when you’re happy and joyful, and, and filled up and in the relationship that matters the most to you, you can do more for God. You can love others more easily. It’s just easier to even spend time with God because you’re just like, Ah, I feel so good. Even just in your heart. And that’s what you get to do for your husband. If you take this opportunity to love Him with a full whole heart and it starts in the will. Honestly, there are a plenty of times that I will start making love. Or I’ll start in the movement towards it without a physical desire. And that even scientifically is proven that that happens. You you choose first of all. And yeah, maybe you start without being in the mood. But you start with a desire to love your husband well. And you know, hopefully, through this podcast, and maybe other episodes as well. But through this episode, I hope that you are convinced that when you choose to make love, I want you to choose the attitude. I want you to choose the wholehearted posture to say I want to love this man. I want to love him. I’m learning a ton about parenting right now. I love it. If you’ve listened to the podcast for the last year, I’ve been on this journey. Aside from the other years that I’ve been a parent, but this this specific last couple months also have been just hugely helpful. But one thing I’ve been learning that I love is this idea of collecting your children. And so when you see him for the first time in the morning, given them a big hug and squeeze and a kiss and just really helping them to know they are the most important person, aside from aside from daddy aside from mommy, whatever it is, and your other kids but your your kids are the most important that way more important than anything else. So making sure you pause whatever you’re doing, to help them to give them a squeeze, give them a high five, let them know, you’ve got their eye, you’ve got your heart on them. They’ve got a safety with you. They’ve got acceptance with you. And I think that’s similar thing with your marriage. You want to just always have this it’s a discipline. No, not always do I want to collect my children, I don’t always want to go out of my way and go into their room. And you know, write them a note before they wake up to make sure they know how much I love them. I don’t always want to do that. But man does it impact. And if I can get the right heart around it. That’s when I know I’m I’m following Jesus better. So in my in my life when you know I’m working on this parenting thing. Yeah, sometimes I see the fruit in my own kids. And I see what what God is doing. And that’s cool. But sometimes it’s just the fruit in my own heart. I know it’s the right choice because I can tell I’m being stretched in the fruit of the Spirit. I can tell I’m more like Jesus because of this. And that’s what I want your motivation to be. I want your motivation to love God well by being
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a wholehearted lover of your husband in sexual intimacy. When you see the fruit in your heart, and you know, you’re more aligned with what God would want, that you’re not rolling your eyes in the middle of whatever. You know, even if it’s an internal rolling of your eyes. Is that God’s best? And I say this only because I know this so well. I know this so well. I know where the heart can go in sexual intimacy and it is icky. Because I know where my heart can go in sexual intimacy and it is icky and I don’t think that honors God. And I don’t think that honors his design for what one flesh should be. Even if your husband desires, fierce sexual intimacy, and I desire more feminine sexual intimacy, ultimately, but we get to a place where the fierceness and the passionate and the in the slow and the exciting, all kind of meld together in one experience are different, different experiences with different types of experiences. All that is is great, is great and, and results in full and total freedom and connection and love and wholehearted service to each other. So you may be thinking, you know, when I kind of gave you an insight that this is, this is not just about your husband, I, hopefully I’ve gotten you on board that this is a spiritual thing, this is a thing with God, this is a how do you love the Lord more through loving your spouse? Well, that’s the true motivation. That’s the real motivation. But aside from that, when we as women engage in duty sex, and just to maybe define that a little more clearly, it’s, it’s going through the sexual experience out of a, like, this is what I have to do to keep my husband happy. And not in a fully engaged fully meeting him in his desires and your desires for pleasure for connection. And really wanting to be there. Again, with the metaphor with what would your husband do in a ideal world in a date that you would want? Like, how can you engage him in that way, and try if I have a episode 199 It’s actually last time I checked, the most popular, most listened to episode out there for me, and that’s really saying something. So I would encourage you to go and listen to that. It’s the the three ways he feels loved in sex, it’s kind of the I tried to dumb it down to the most important things. So just like I was telling you about what you would probably like in a date, this is what he would more than likely love in a sexual experience. So you can get the insights there. 199. But here’s the thing that it hurts you, if you are engaging in duty sex, because here’s what it hurts, it hurts your perception of sex. It makes you feel like he selfish. He doesn’t care about you, he doesn’t care about your preferences, again, with the different types of sexual intimacy, but it also hurts you physically. And there’s a lot of reading I’ve done I’m trying to remember if there were studies around it or, or exactly what it was. So um, I can’t, I can’t be. But but in my experience with the people I’ve worked with, and that sort of thing, it’s so true, that it numbs physically numbs the body. So inside your vagina numbing you, because you have felt in the midst of the sexual experience, you have felt you have just, you know, almost checked out. And so your body has not in felt sexual intimacy, it hasn’t. It hasn’t experienced the feelings and experience pleasure because you have just been like, okay, get it over with. And so you’re not even aware of the sensations. You’re not even aware of the possibility of pleasure because you have been engaging in duty, sex. And, again, I’m not blaming you, because I have been there and sometimes I still am like, Whoa, where Where did my heart go? In that moment, I
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need to swing back around and really asked for forgiveness I sometimes maybe to my husband, but more so to God, like, this is not what this is not what sex is supposed to be about. I need I need your help with that. And so but but it does it it teaches your body to not care about the sensations. So if you have struggled to actually physically enjoy sex, it very well may have a lot to do with the attitude you have brought to it for years and maybe decades. And so you may very well need to realign your attitude. Ask God for forgiveness. And maybe you were like, oh, that’s the farthest thing from my mind. I had no thought process that I needed to ask for forgiveness in this way but it I mean, isn’t? Don’t we need to ask for forgiveness when we notice that our heart is not aligned with the Spirit that God God is asking us to do is to love our husbands? Well, don’t we? Don’t we need to repent from that? Don’t we need to ask for forgiveness for that? Okay, so let me let me switch gears here. And really let me just also tell you, again, dear wife, that you can do this. You can do this, God can heal this, he can heal this. I bet there are really good reasons, very good reasons for the ways these things have happened. Whether it’s from childhood, whether it’s the past, of your your husband, whether it’s the way somebody communicated what sex, the purpose of sex and marriage was, there’s, there could be all sorts of reasons. But I want, I want you to be free of this. And I want you to have an opportunity to love your husband, well, to honor yourself to honor your own pleasure. And that God would actually heal you of this numbness, and actually give you the freedom and actually give you that pleasure and actually find joy in intimacy, even as a low drive set spouse, and all I can I can tell you, myself, I’m in that category. I’m not saying this stuff, because I’m this. You know, I don’t even know the word that I would like to use. But I’m not saying it because this is a natural thing for me. It’s not. But I see this as God ordained and wanting to follow him. Well, it includes a fierceness in the area of sex, because that’s how my husband feels loved. It includes that. Yes, I’ve had to stretch myself. Yes, I’ve had to feel silly before I feel sexy. It’s one of our courses and the delight of wife program. But that’s the way it is. That’s the way this process happens. And, and I’m so proud of you for listening to this podcast episode. I’m so proud of the women I work with are the women our team works with, for going there. I mean, these are women that have never talked about sex in their lives to anyone. Marry decades. So I don’t know if you heard the interview with Julie already. But you’ll want to listen to that transformation story. It’s astounding. But there are are women in this in this work. They have never even done anything remotely like this kind of stuff. And now they’re they’re feeling freedom. And they’re in they’re feeling a connection and they’re on they were on the verge of separation divorce and now, things have just flipped flopped. When we love our husbands. Well, he gets to thrive, he gets to thrive. So yeah, there’s an opportunity to repent around respect around admiration and around wholeheartedly sexual intimacy. God is a God of second chances, he can heal your marriage, he can heal the way even your body has responded to sex over the years or decades. He can heal it, he can reawaken, and re energize and cause gentle restoration in these areas. But your attitude, your heart around it. I invite you to shift it to shift that there is a holiness here and there is a opportunity God is calling for you to have to change your heart around it. And think of the fruit like I said, that’s when I know I’m on the right path. When the fruit in my heart I know I’m becoming more like Christ through this.
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As I’m talking about my my parenting, total paradigm shift is the fruit I’m becoming more like Christ. The fruit is Yes, I am becoming more like Christ. And then I’m like, Okay, this is God’s will. I know I’m in the right journey. I’m doing the right things. So I just want to, you know, I just can imagine this is a hard one to hear. And I know you clicked this episode, because you’re brave and courageous. And if you need time to process this, give yourself time, but seek God about it. Ask God if there’s truth here. Ask God if there’s if there’s wisdom here, ask God if this needed to be something you heard today. Don’t let this go because you’re immediately offended by some of what I’ve said here. Because the the world would be offended by this. I think it would, especially where we are in a lot of things in our society. But I’m wondering, as a woman who’s seeking to follow Jesus and always of her life, is this something you should be offended by? Or is it something God wants to help show you. And I think you just having a curious heart on that and letting yourself sit with that not distracting yourself away from it may be an opportunity for you to grow closer to Him in this area. So dear husbands, hopefully, there’s been some insights there. The problem with having a public podcast like this is I don’t want your expectations and standards and frustrations with your wife to go higher. And that’s the you know, I run the risk of that every episode I post. And unfortunately, that’s the discipline in your own heart. Hopefully, you picked up things from this. And hopefully now you even have some additional fodder for prayer. Because this is more about well, that’s my encouragement there. But also, I have a free course for you. So hopefully, you’re like, Oh, well, if I can’t force my wife to listen to this episode, which you may have already tried, it may not have worked out. I only laugh because I shouldn’t laugh because this is painful for you and I, but but it doesn’t always work out. It doesn’t always work out to just send her an episode. Sometimes it does. But sometimes it just doesn’t. And if you’re in that role, that that mode, and you know, it would not work out to send this to her. We’ve got a free course and this material. I mean, you just have to listen to the stories. You just have to listen to these other guys tell you, but this kind, this is the material that can change it, by God’s grace, by God’s grace, you know, he’s involved here. I’m not our team is not the only ones involved here. But there’s nothing you can lose than to prioritize a free training and get yourself the tools. It’s interactive. There’s, there’s some significant stuff I asked you to do. But this is the kind of stuff that grown men cry through like this is, this is real, this is important stuff. And you need to know, okay, here I’m giving your wife some real, real talk, if you will, but I need to give you some real talk to you are, you can be the the way that she feels safe enough to go in this area to go forward in this area. And that that’s what happens a lot of times is women are triggered, and angry and frustrated by material until their husbands change until their husbands go first he leads She’s waiting for you to lead in the safety in the being known in the being cherished, to lead in being the man of faith that she hopes and prays that you will be. So my invitation is is get on that that Freeman’s course and really discipline your heart. To have grace with your wife in this this is a journey and a process and it is a spiritual battle. The enemy does not want
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wonder wonderful, connected, wholehearted marriages he doesn’t. Because that’s a healthier family. It’s a healthier in all these other ways, less temptations out in the world less Sins of the eyes and loss senton tations and all these things, it’s so much better. But you have got to notice this a spiritual. It’s not. It’s not just your wife. It’s not just the other things it is it is spiritual. So so give that to God and ask God to help you in your role in who God has asked you to be in all of this. Alright, let me pray for you. Father, I lift up this husband and I lift up this wife in my my hunch is that a lot more husbands are going to listen to this than wives. And I pray that you would protect his heart, God that even though there’s so much opportunity for his wife to shift because she might listen to this, give him wisdom on what his wife needs. If it’s that he just prays through this torture sort of things, so she could she could she could hear from you and even a different avenue. Maybe it’s not this episode, but maybe he needed to know and he can pray for her through some of these These aspects or, or whatever it may be, but guard his heart so he doesn’t have jealousy or covetousness, or sin against you or not have grace with his wife or be unkind, give him grace to grow in the in the fruits of the spirit here. And God, I asked for the wife, Lord, there may have been moments of this episode that triggered her, there may have been areas that she just totally feels against what I’ve said. And I asked God that you would give her curious heart, and that this is a spiritual battle. It’s spiritual, the enemy has tried to take sex, what you created from the very beginning of the world, you created it, you created a her husband’s member to do everything that it does, and enjoy everything that it does. You created her body to enjoy and have pleasure in all of these ways. That was your design, and the enemy has has distorted and in cost so much brokenness in this world as a result, but you, we need to follow you in it and cause wonderful joy and connection in the context of marriage, and be a light to others around the world to say hey, it’s a lot better in marriage. This is the right way. And this is good and awesome and totally fulfilling. Lord, I just asked for a grace and a vision of that for her. And if she needs to go through a process to get there God cause her to, to have the courage to go there. Give her the opportunities and the courage to go there. Whether it’s talking to to one of my people or doing something else. But Lord, give her grace. Give her courage to go there. In Jesus name, amen. Oh my gosh, I’m so proud of you. Whether you’re a husband or a wife, I’m so proud of you for getting through this. You know, it is God’s kindness to lead us to repentance. It is God’s kindness to lead us to repentance. And we are not done yet. I am not done yet. I have to repent of things all the time. All the time. And yes, this little sliver of life I might be able to help you with but you could help me with all sorts of areas of life seriously. So I hope this has empowered you and encouraged you. God bless you and I look forward to talking to you next week for men go to delight your marriage.com/ Men’s course. March 28 Mark your calendar. Don’t miss it. God bless