If you have temptations to jealousy, here’s what I recommend.

If you’ve listened to the transformation stories and become upset, angry, bitter, resentful…

I want to give you some ideas on what to do.

I get that way too.

I have certain triggers that throw me completely off.

You might as well.

I want to give you some ideas on how I deal with my triggers.

And I want you to get really CURIOUS about what you can learn from these triggers to jealousy and how you can end the cycle.

 

Blessings,

Belah

 

PS — We’d love to help you on a Clarity Call, feel free to sign up for a free one here: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

We get to see miracles every day and we’d love to help you.


Transcript

0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. Your joining me belah Rose is I dive deep into the beauty, power and truths about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. delight your marriage.

0:22
Hi there, welcome. This is Bella, and I’m grateful that you were here, I don’t take that lightly, that you spend time with me. However often, it’s really special that we get to dig into some of these important topics that happen in our hearts and minds. They swirl around at different times. And it’s hard to know what to do with them. So I think Jealousy is a really important topic. Because obviously, on this podcast, if you’ve been here for a little while, we give you transformation stories all the time. And there’s some important reasons for that. We are supposed to testify of the miracles of Jesus. That’s, that’s biblical. We are supposed to do that. And so I share these stories so that you can have an extra measure of faith that God is changing lives, that that’s important for you to have a miracle.

1:25
But not only that, how often do we hear stories of absolute destruction and sadness in families?

1:37
All the time, all the time, and in Christian circles, when we hear about terrible scandals, and often, often it’s about sex. It’s It’s crazy how silent we are about sex in the church until there’s an affair. And then that’s all sex, isn’t it? The wrong type, the wrong way, the wrong context. And yet, we’re not talking about the positive proactive I remember, this is a bit of a tangent here. But I remember going to this really great group, maybe you have a chapter near you called reasonable faith. And I encourage you to look it up because there’s basically it’s apologetics. People get together who have studied why Christianity is true. You know, if you by any means are struggling with that,

2:30
you need to get some real smart people who study that stuff, get get their take on it. So anyway, reasonable faith, you can just look into that and see if people meet near you. Or if you can join zoom meetings, or however they do it. Anyway, the topic this week was about sex. And I was like, Well, this has got to be a good one. And this is

2:57
while I’ve been doing this work, but in a personal way, just so you know, I do this work on the down low. A lot of people in my life, personally don’t know that I do this work. So like all my clients have only ever come from people on the internet that I’ve never met face to face. So my,

3:18
my

3:20
no one, no one personally knows that this is the work I do. So anyway, the point is, I get to this thing, I’m like, Oh my gosh, these are such brilliant people, they’re going to be talking about sex, this is just going to be fantastic. I can’t wait.

3:36
And of course, the majority of those that attended are men, because of this topic, I’m sure. And I just like this has got to be good. So it was a gentleman who presented a single man. And who’s got lots of degrees, lots of really great

3:57
letters behind his name with lots from really amazing

4:04
universities. And he presented and it was essentially all on the sin of sex outside of marriage. And

4:16
that was basically it closed case. The Bible says sex outside of marriage is wrong. And our society says it’s good. And the truth is biblically speaking, it’s wrong.

4:29
And I was just kind of like flabbergasted that that was all we were gonna say on the topic, because I think we all know that. I think I think that’s pretty clear already.

4:42
But, um, so then there was an opportunity for discussion afterwards and I had several women, the few women that were there,

4:52
raise their hands and completely agreed with the speaker and you know, said how absolutely wrong it is.

5:00
In.

5:02
And so

5:04
eventually I raised my hand because I was just like this cannot happen. We can’t have this whole big presentation on sex and not say anything good about it. So I raised my hand and I was like, I absolutely agree. Yes, sex outside of marriage is wrong and bad for so many reasons in the family and all these things. And so our responsibility as Christians is to make sex so great in our own marriages, that people want to get married, because they want that kind of sex. Sex, is that kind of powerful.

5:39
And, you know, I got a little passionate there. And, you know, I bet all these men in the, in the, I don’t know, audience, I guess, we’re probably just like, yes, thank god, somebody said it. And thank God, it wasn’t a man who had to say it.

5:57
But women, if you’re ever in that context, please pipe up. Somebody has got to say it. And you know, If a man says it, they will get terrible. lash back, so please, please, please, please.

6:12
What does that have to do with jealousy? Well, that was my introduction. All right, we’ll get to it. We’ll get to it.

6:23
And, of course, my important message is we can help you these transformation stories are real. The people are telling us their miracles by God’s grace, and they happen in the programs that delight your marriage gets to do if we can help you, we’ll help you discern that delight your marriage.com/cc you sign up for clarity call, and we may be able to help you. We may not. And even if we don’t feel like you’re a good fit, then we’ll you know, you still get this opportunity to process all the things that are going on. I mean, where is there a safe space that you can do that? Well, clearly call is a safe, confidential space to do that. And we’ll see, you know, maybe this is the next step for you. And, you know, jealousy sometimes helps us to be like, oh, I want that. Okay. So the next step would be

7:19
to actually do the work to get that by God’s grace, by God’s grace. All right, let’s dive in. Because I’ve got important things to talk about in jealousy, because I deal with that, too. You are certainly not the only one.

7:38
So when I think about jealousy, I think back to my own childhood, and when I was encouraged as a child, when there was a kind of, Oh, you did a great job. It was usually because I won something. I was the best at something I was in the gifted program, or I was, you know, I excelled in some way. And so that’s what my parents congratulated. And I only recently was thinking about that. And I realized that makes a lot of sense why. Now, as an adult, I am super competitive. And when there is a game that needs to be one, once I figure out what the rules are, I am ready to run as hard as I can to win. And I think there’s wisdom now that helps me to discern what game I want to even be playing. So that I’m not trying to win the game that is not having eternal value, which we’ll talk a little bit about in a minute. So the point is that I’m very competitive. And I know that about myself. And so much so that there are different addictions that are very easy for me to fall into, if I’m not careful. So there have been addictions. For me in my past of this probably sounds ridiculous. But if I ever download some of those phone games, I know I’m going to neglect my family. I just know it. And so thank God, I have not done that for probably a year at least. But it’s um, I can’t even download them. I can’t even try them out. No, I’m not. I’m not. You know, I’ve spent enough time trying to beat people at Scrabble. I’m just not going to waste my life doing that, because that’s my personality is to go back again and again and again. Of course, all sorts of tech games and social media and all sorts of things. They’re designed to make us addicted. That’s they’re designed to sell ad space. And if you keep your eyeballs on the screen, they get to sell more ads to you, thus making them more money. So so they’re very highly motivated to keep you engaged.

10:00
I’m so that’s a an addiction that I’ve had to completely cut. Another addiction is social media, personal social media, I’m completely off of anything, everything, it’s just not, it doesn’t add value to my highest assignments. You know, it’s hard enough to be a good wife, it’s hard enough to be a good mom, I don’t need nonsense, unhelpful things, crowding out my time.

10:29
You know, worried about somebody else’s, whatever. And the thing about social media for me, and it probably doesn’t affect everyone the same way it probably, but for me, it’s so easy for me to get jealous of somebody else’s haves, or, you know, the, the, the friends, they have the vacations, they take the whatever, it’s so easy for me to get jealous, or just even have the negative like, so it might be jealous of the like, Oh, I wish I had that. But it’s also of the negative like, Haha, I have a better life than you, you know, and that both of those are such an icky place to be. And I know, when I think about looking in Jesus’s face on the last day, he’s gonna be like, what were you doing belah you were so distracted. During those hours you spend on social media, it was you worship so far from from my heart, and what I want for you, and the ways I’ve called you. And so anyway, I definitely have cut those things out. And even with delight your marriage, if you, you know, choose to try to look us up on social media, you know, I haven’t touched those things in a very long time and in for a while is cultivating Facebook, and it just was never a

11:50
a good thing. And, and then eventually Facebook shut us down. So it was, I think God just gave me a gift was like, actually, you don’t need to waste your time on this. So anyway, if you share the podcast and our resources with a friend, that’s that’s the way this this work gets spread. So thank you, really, from the bottom of my heart, you’re, you’re the reason this thing spreads. Aside from that, though, just being off of social media helps me to focus, I still have trouble with my phone. It’s just true. I still have to like, Okay, let me put my phone on top of the refrigerator. So I can focus on my kids, rather than check if there was a text message or what have you. And you know, one of the things that I have on my phone is I’ve taken off completely all the notifications, so nothing pops up. The only time

12:44
you know something makes noise on my phone, is if somebody’s physically calling me. And I have chunks of time throughout the day that I have that do not disturb on as well. So you may be like, but what if there was an emergency, I mean,

13:04
just about always that can wait, you know.

13:08
And I’m just not in a season of life that anyone is dependent on me aside for my boys and my husband. So you know, when my parents get

13:19
old enough that that’s a real possibility that they could be an emergency, I’m sure I would tweak things so that notifications do pop up from them specifically. But anyway, but my phone is an addiction, it’s so easy to be like, Oh, I texted someone and they didn’t text me back, you know, and that’s just this

13:39
hardship of the heart. But if it’s like, I don’t even get notified if they text me back. So I just have to discipline myself not to check my phone for a while, you know, once an hour at the most, you know, especially during work, I rarely check my phone at all during the whole work day. And then maybe a couple of times after, if I’m living my best, it might be a couple of times after

14:06
that. And so

14:09
anyway, that that’s something I just want to encourage you

14:13
to think about is jealousy coming up because you are checking your phone, checking social media, when is the jealousy hitting you? The next thing I wanted to mention is for me, I am

14:29
really careful about what I watch. And again, you know, some things don’t affect others the same way so it’s I’m not here to pass judgment. I just know what my proclivities are. And I know what I can easily send out. And not everyone. I don’t know. I don’t know how their heart moves. I don’t know what goes on in their brains after they watch some kind of show or movie for me. It affects me

15:00
It affects me when I see

15:03
really elicit or sorry explicit

15:09
scenes in a movie I just can’t. I can’t watch it because I’m, I’m so heartbroken even even storylines that are so painful because what I see this brokenness in my work all the time, affairs and heartbreak and drama mean spirited arguing all these things like this breaks hearts, it breaks families apart. I’m I cannot add to my workload of of worrying about people a fake story of awfulness. Not only that, but like it’s, it’s so easy to get

15:52
caught up in somebody else’s steamy scene so that you yourself are turned on. And it’s like, that’s not, that’s not why he’s getting turned on by somebody else’s.

16:05
Yeah.

16:07
I don’t know, 100 years ago, I think that would be pornography at that point, you know, and now it’s like on most movies,

16:15
you know, movies that are not for kids. So it’s just

16:21
so that’s one thing, I have to be really careful with movies. And the second thing,

16:25
at best, if I’m watching a movie, I have to fast forward through that, like, that’s at least what I do. But often I just, I check out this is a good resource common, common sense media.org. And that really helps me to decide whether I want to watch a certain movie, or whether I want my kids to watch a certain movie. So that’s a good resource to check before ever

16:52
clicking on watching something, and the next thing for me is that I can get really addicted to

17:00
TV series. And that also, you know, has too many times sucked my life away. And it’s like, those are hours of my life that I can’t get back. And my deathbed, I am not going to say I wish I spent more time watching TV. No, no, no one will. You won’t, I won’t. But I probably would or could say I wish I spent more time with my boys.

17:28
So why am I making the choice now to be addicted to something and choose to let the again they are motivated, the people who create the shows are motivated to keep you watching. To keep you watching now, one show I have permitted myself to watch recently, which I am letting you know as a plug because it is really good is called the chosen. And if you haven’t heard of this yet, I definitely was late to the party. Some people recommended it to me several times until I was like oh, right, I’ll watch it. The chosen is totally different. It is the life of Jesus, but in a dramatized way. So there’s like, it talks about how things

18:14
may have happened, it’s plausible that something could have happened. So there’s lots of just SCI dramas. One thing I really love about it is, you know, the disciples were so different.

18:28
They were so different politically, they were so different in terms of

18:34
their connections with each other. So, you know, we had brothers, there was a tax collector, which was basically a trader of the Jewish people, there was a zealot who believed that they needed to overthrow the government by, by force, and by violence and, and just there, it’s so fascinating to see all these different pieces and the ways the creators

18:58
just did it with such great Oh, it’s just so good. And, and he had three different the writer and director had three different experts weigh in on the plot and in the in the writing in the script, and

19:16
one is a Messianic Jewish rabbi, as well as a Catholic priest who’s historically.

19:27
You know, this is his, I don’t know, this is his expertise, and then also an evangelical pastor who also this is his expertise of the of the historical context of when Jesus lived. And so it is really good because there’s so much about Jewish culture that I did not understand or know about, that is just kind of inadvertently taught through us finding out how rabbis treated each other Pharisees treated each other. How did it is just so cool. Okay, so the chosen it’s free if you download the app on your phone

20:00
Hopefully that’s a big enough plug. The point is, though, aside from that, I really don’t do series because it just, I can’t help a binge and it, it causes my kids to not have a mom for however many hours I’m engaged in that.

20:20
But I don’t mind watching a pretty cool movie, every now and then

20:26
what are some other things that I am really careful not to do, because I know my proclivity around jealousy is even around

20:37
is even around ministries. Like other marriage ministries, it’s not helpful for me to even look at their stuff. I just do what I think God wants me to do. But if I’m looking at somebody else’s stuff, It either makes me again jealous or makes me feel like oh, I don’t like that. And then I want to criticize them in my mind and heart. And for me, that’s not my spot. I, my spot is not to criticize other people’s ministries, they’re just doing the best they can to lead the people they can lead. And so I actually when I even listen to another ministry, criticizing another ministry, I’m just like, Come on, let’s just can’t we just

21:21
be more productive and share what we think is right? Rather than say, hey, that ministry is wrong, I, I just don’t like that. That approach. So I just tried to focus on not even looking to the right or to the left, and instead just saying, You know what, God, this is what I’m perceiving your will for me to be. And the main way I learn about marriage is by living marriage, and trying my best to be the wife that God wants me to be, and focusing on Scripture. And then other kinds of material not really marriage material,

22:00
that grow myself that I feel like in each season, God is grilling me. So that helps me to get away from jealousy is just what do I allow in? What what sources of information are allowed to speak into my life, just like, I wouldn’t hang out with certain types of people, because I know, they rub off on me, and they change me in certain ways. And so I’m not going to allow certain things to speak into my life, or I don’t allow myself to go there. Because I know for me, it makes me jealous.

22:36
The other thing that’s interesting about my work is I, I work with men.

22:41
So I hear about their marriage is all the time and what they do for their wives all the time. So how easy would that be for me to compare my marriage and say, Well, my husband didn’t do XYZ for me, or my husband isn’t doing that.

23:01
And it is easy. And this is something I even have to talk to our team about, like, we get to help people, we get to do this work. But we have to discipline our own hearts. When somebody’s talking about their story, we need to stay with them in their story not to listen, but also be like, Why didn’t my spouse do that?

23:25
We really have to be careful that we are grateful for the person God has given us. Because here’s here’s the biggest point if you don’t remember anything I said do you remember this?

23:39
When you get to see Jesus face to face

23:44
what is it

23:47
that you want true about you?

23:51
Is that that you loved your spouse enough that they met your every need and dream and it was this great exchange of I do stuff for you and you do stuff for me and they became this amazing. I don’t know man who takes me on amazing trips and, and gives me a massage every night and rubs my feet. And

24:16
I don’t know. Just try to imagine like it lights candles and puts on music and gives me a bath like Yes, great. i Yes, those are special, wonderful things. But no, that’s not what I want true of me. What I want true of me is that I loved my spouse well,

24:35
that I loved them well that I loved and served my husband well. That’s what I want true of me. Because that’s what Jesus asks of me.

24:47
That I love him well.

24:50
And so if you’re a husband or a wife, that’s what you want true of you. And if listening to a transformation story from a wife or a husband

25:00
Whatever is, is causing jealousy, then don’t listen. Even if it’s my stuff. Don’t listen to it. Unless, of course, it inspires you to say, oh my gosh, God can do it for them. So God can do it for me. That is the impression I want you to have. And then if you want to go through our process by God’s grace, which is changing lives, you could go to delight your marriage.com/cc. Do you see how I put that plug in there? Yeah, yeah, because I’m serious, you should do it.

25:34
But aside from that, let let this stuff this, this, this jelly, see stuff, realize that it’s not helping you love your spouse? Well,

25:45
in the Bible, it says those who compare themselves with others are not wise. It is not wisdom to compare yourself with others.

25:57
So maybe you’re competitive like me, and maybe this is natural for you to just compete? You know, once you find out, there’s a score, okay, let’s, let’s compete. Well, that’s why I recommend putting a life vision together in every element of your life. Visualize your day, before Jesus, and say, This is what I want true with me. Okay, now you have the scorecard. Now you have the truth about what you feel God is calling you to, which is different than other people. It’s different. That’s why you have to discern with God, this life vision document. And now you’ve got what it means if you’re winning. What does it mean? If you’re winning? Not your bank account? Seriously, Christians, we’re following Christ, your bank account? Doesn’t matter. Don’t you? Don’t you?

26:51
Don’t you read the Bible, who is Jesus, he didn’t care about his bank account.

26:58
The bank account is not the thing.

27:03
The thing that does matter is our love for others. Our love for our, our, our love for our God, love your neighbor as yourself a second. That’s what matters.

27:20
Is that your focus? Is that my focus? I want it to be.

27:28
I mean, I’m weak and that desire, but I want it to be more and more.

27:34
May we have a greater desire for that?

27:38
Because then when we zoom out, and try to look at our lives from God’s perspective, I mean, this is the holiest of holies This is the one that makes the earth tremble. This is the one that created everything you see, and have ever experienced in life. He is the one.

28:00
Oh, would that give us perspective? Oh, would that give us perspective?

28:06
Oh man, yesterday, I was meditating on a verse. And just so you know.

28:13
I try to give you insights into how I pursue Jesus. Only because I feel a lot of times in in, you know, amazing sermons that just edify me encouraged me all that but sometimes I leave the sermons. I’m just like, Okay, how do I put this into practice?

28:31
What does this mean on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

28:36
So here’s what I’m trying to do is kind of just share with you what I do, is I don’t try to consume copious amounts of Scripture every day, I don’t I try to focus on just one or two that really speak to me, and meditate on it and sit with it and see what the Holy Spirit wants to reveal to me in those passages, because the, again, Scripture is alive and active, you know that, you know that that’s another scripture.

29:05
It’s alive and active. It’s perceiving, it’s discerning. It’s refreshing us renewing us clarifying for us, comforting us, we have to be in the Word.

29:20
So here it is. So what I do is I just write down the scriptures that whatever it is that when I was reading, sometimes I just open my Bible I do I just opened my Bible and I kind of skim through whatever it was that I fell upon, and I just asked God, show me something that that

29:40
that he’d like me to think about that day. And

29:44
and when I ground myself in the fear of the Lord, that puts everything in perspective, and it helps me to think about oh, wait, those things don’t matter. What really matters. Okay, so here it is Psalms.

30:00
I 9011 Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath, according to the fear of you.

30:12
So Teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom.

30:21
I think that’s so powerful. I’m going to say it again, who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath, according to the fear of you. So Teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom.

30:37
Now, first things first, when you’re looking at a scripture, especially one like this, the first thing you do is say, Lord, I agree with the Scripture. I know Your Word is true. reveal more to me. That’s your that’s your prayer. After reading a scripture that you’re like, Whoa, I don’t think I like that. No, you affirm. Lord, I know this is true. reveal more of your truth to me.

31:04
So who considers the power of your anger and your wrath? According to the fear of you?

31:11
I mean, guys, we’re gonna find out on the other side of eternity, we’re going to be like, Whoa, I had no idea. How could I be so prideful? How can I be so prideful? I feel that way. I feel that is it. You know, on a daily I’m like, Oh, my gosh, Lord, my pride. Help me, help me help me. Because when I zoom out and think about the God of the universe, who who spoke and the mountains were formed, what?

31:45
I’m looking at a mountain right now it’s out of my window, like that was formed when, when all God did was speak, boom, this thing emerges from the earth, like,

31:56
that’s the one that I have his ear, he inclines his ear to me, he thinks about me what I don’t deserve that. See, I think we get so used to hearing God loves us, He is love, yes. That we ought to fear him.

32:14
We don’t deserve that.

32:18
The fear of the Lord is going to ground us in saying that my

32:24
ridiculous jealousies are so, so tiny.

32:32
And we need to do it with violence.

32:36
We need to be aware of what makes us jealous and either ask God for grace to stop it.

32:45
Consistently pull ourselves out of than that tiny minutia.

32:52
You know, we’ve got to notice what’s going on in my heart and what triggered it.

32:58
You know, if it’s lust, if it’s fantasies, what triggered that?

33:04
Is it a habit that I allow myself to scroll through Instagram, right? If that’s triggering, let’s turn it off, deactivate it, delete it. It doesn’t matter how many images you’ve posted, or how many followers you’ve got, like, what’s gonna matter when you get to Jesus? Is that gonna matter?

33:22
Is it

33:25
if we can put our lives in perspective, we need to consider the power of his anger because think about it. He has given all of it to us, gave us life, gave us health, he gave us so many good things in this life.

33:44
He gave us knowledge of himself, he opened up our eyes to see his truth. How many people weren’t given that

33:54
we want to be good stewards of his gifts.

33:59
We need to consider who he truly is.

34:04
And be and clarify priorities, clarify where our life should be in perspective

34:14
of how great he is, which equals having fear of Him.

34:20
If we don’t really know God, we won’t have fear of Him. If we don’t have fear of Him. We don’t really know God. That’s what I believe is true. We don’t fear Him we really don’t know who he is.

34:35
That’s just reality. And, and you know, I earlier talked about apologetics. You need to know how right the Bible is because you know, if you doubt the Word of God is because you don’t know enough about it. You need to research apologetics and keep reading and keep learning.

34:53
Because a lot of times we’re just not we’re just lazy and we just don’t want to investigate our faith.

35:00
Then so we have weak faith. And it’s like, I don’t know what to say like it’s all there. There are people who are rigorous with this far more rigorous than I am. But it’s there. It’s there. Just seek it out. I’m lazy two guys. I’m lazy, too. I make mistakes, and I don’t want to do the things. I know what’s right. And then I make the mistakes and all of this, but God gives us grace, can we consider who he is? Can we just try again, His mercies are new every morning. Just try again. repent, repent. Lord, I’m sorry, helped me to do this better. Thank you for opening my eyes today about this thing helped me to do it better tomorrow.

35:47
So let me try to wrap this up for you a couple of takeaways. Specifically, I want you to notice where you are feeling jealous. So I talked about a lot of addictions and some things that I have had to really recognize this makes me jealous, this makes me come back over and over again and waste my time. But also, it causes me to sin in my heart, because I’m not supposed to covet. And there’s other scriptures that talk about how we’re not supposed to be jealous.

36:21
So figure out the the triggers number to cut them off. Just 100% cut them off. We don’t even need to play with fire. And other people might have a fine time doing those things. But if you don’t, and it triggers you, then cut it off.

36:42
Unless and again with transformation stories, there’s

36:47
unless it inspires you to say oh my gosh, if it could happen for them, it can happen for me, Lord, I believe I if it grows your faith, and listen, if it doesn’t, and maybe you’re just not at a space in time that it grows your faith and don’t listen.

37:04
But

37:08
so the first one, acknowledge, identify, reflect on your triggers. Number two, cut them off, be violent with it. Number three, get in the Word.

37:21
Number four, allow the fear of the Lord, put everything in perspective.

37:30
everything in perspective,

37:34
when you do not have the fear of the Lord, burning in you, it’s a problem.

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Because that is what Scripture teaches. We need to have the fear of the Lord. It keeps us safe. It says it’s a refuge, a strong tower, it helps us not get in the wrong zone and start trying to think about our bank account more than making God proud of us. No, it’s not the we’re earning points with him. But I don’t know what eternity is going to be like, but I certainly know there’s some passages about

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having jewels in the crown it there’s passages about being over cities, I really don’t know what it’s gonna be like no one does. But I really want to get up there and say, Jesus, I did my best. I did my best. I did it so imperfectly, but I just didn’t give up. I just kept trying to do my best.

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And it’s not it’s really not a motivation of earning things or, or what have you. I just love him.

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I just want to make him proud of me that that phrase of making him proud of me.

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It just motivates me. I don’t know what it is about that phrase. I want to make him proud of me. But it really motivates me of like, he’s my daddy. Yeah, of course. He’s already proud of me. Of course, he loves me and, and he sees me as perfect and clean because of Jesus sacrifice and my accepting his sacrifice. I can’t I can’t save myself by my good works. No, of course not. But it just motivates me. It just says, Daddy, I wanna I want to make you proud of me. I love you so much. I want to make you proud of me.

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So again, first one, identify the triggers of jealousy number two, cut them off. Number three, get in the Word. And number four.

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The fear of the Lord is too strong tower. The righteous run in and are safe. Even talks about the fear of the Lord saves your children protects your own children. We’ve got to have that we got to have that. So again, it puts everything in perspective. It makes jealousy so much easier. And if something is inspiring you to have more faith in God, then go for it. Because eventually, hopefully, there are times that we get more mature and we were able to

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balance things that are, you know, what have you, this is where I am right now I have to just cut a lot of things out. But there are times that I might balance, I might have more balanced, I might be able to have more grace for certain things. But certain things I just can’t. Like right now I’m definitely in a season where I can’t handle sugar, just none, no sugar, and mostly no processed carbs. So my body just can’t handle it, because I’ll just keep going. And then it affects my mood, and it affects all sorts of things, and I can’t do God’s will if I have a negative mood, and I’m spiraling in that direction, and I can’t be consistent, and I don’t have that.

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Who knows one day, maybe he’ll give me the grace for that. But I’m not trying it for a very long time. Because right now I know I don’t have the grace for that. So whatever you see, as not having the grace for just trust God, just trust God, that’s, that’s your proclivity, that’s your propensity to that sin, and you’re gonna cut it out in that’s called following the Lord with your unique individual makeup, because we all have limits.

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And our best is to live within those limits. All right, let me pray for you. Father, I asked that the things that we covered a lot here, but the things that this person needed to hear, even if it’s one,

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got it would just stay with them. You know, it’s kind of nice, we get to just hang out. And, you know, I’m not super super focused, especially today. But I ask, I asked that the thing they needed to hear even if it’s just us chatting, and

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kind of going through different thoughts together, I pray that you would inspire them and encourage them God and help them to know they’re on the right track. Even the fact that they’re here, oh, man,

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to talk about God to talk about scripture to talk about the real things that happen in the heart God and give them grace. Help them to know that you can see them white as snow, they just need to repent and change, do their best and repent again and change and do their best. That’s the process here. We want to be more like you, Jesus. Give us your grace. Lord, I love you and I thank you in Jesus name, Amen.

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We would love to help you. And maybe you’ve got a good marriage and you want a great marriage. You want the passion, the intimacy that has just pained you for so long. It’s okay, we can help you to let your marriage.com/cc or if you’re at the end of the year rope by God’s grace, we get to help that too. So again, we would love to hear your story and see how we can help. We love you. God bless you. Talk to you next week.