Podcast: Play in new window | Download
When I look back on my life — when I see what is currently unseen — when I see Jesus face to face — when all has been revealed…
I am convinced I will be BLOWN AWAY by the love I never realized He truly had for me.
In the Bible, it says that God feeds the birds. (Mt 6:26)
He FEEDS the birds.
I was observing birds yesterday in the park.
There are tons of them, flitting around, this way and that.
And yet the God of the universe cares about His creation, so much so, that He Himself feeds the birds!
He is intimately aware of your life and what you’re going through.
And He is feeding you. He is clothing you. He is giving you far more than just that.
He wants you to realize that in every good AND in every suffering, He remains good.
There is SO much you (and I) cannot see.
He allows suffering for His reasons only He can see.
But when you trust this truth that He is the one that gives everything that is right in your life — it allows you to see the suffering better.
You can endure the suffering with a peace, a joy, and a contentment that is important.
In fact, when you have that peace/joy/contentment during the suffering, you will accomplish at least some of the important purposes He has for that suffering.
Make no mistake, God cares about your suffering.
God cares about the rejection you feel from your spouse.
He cares about your loneliness in the one supposedly “safe relationship” – your marriage.
He cares about the lack of intimacy.
He cares about the lack of warmth.
He cares when your spouse ignores the cravings of your soul that you were designed to have.
He cares.
And IN THIS He is good.
If we only knew how much He truly loved you…
He would risk you possibly turning away from him due to that suffering because He has bigger purposes.
Remember…
Higher than the heavens are above the earth are His ways higher than our ways, are His thoughts higher than our thoughts.
We do NOT have to understand.
We DO have to trust His goodness.
That starts with realizing, if the God of the Universe feeds each of these birds, that means he makes each of my breaths happen, each of my blood vessels moves when they are meant to.
It means He causes my son to smile at me.
It means He causes my eyes to even see the sunset.
It means that He not only knit me together in my mother’s womb for 9 to 10 months…
But He didn’t stop.
He is still in me.
He is still designing, directing, causing all these things to go well in me.
EVERY good gift is from Him.
Even the ones I don’t take time to notice.
When my arm breaks it should remind me that He was the one that caused it to thrive every other day.
If we only soaked in the truth of His love, we could more easily trust it during the suffering… He is still good.
If we only knew His love.
If we only knew His love.
If we only knew His love.
May you know the love of Christ.
May I know it, too.
Love & Blessings,
Belah
Transcript
0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. Your joining me belah Rose is I dive deep into the beauty, power and truths about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about delight your marriage.
0:24
Hi, I I am so compelled to share this. And a lot of times the episodes I record, it’s because I feel that the listener needs to hear this and today’s episode I think I need to hear. And I need to process out loud. And I’m really just doing it for me. And if it blesses you and draws you closer to the Lord, then I’m going to post it. So there’s no action step after this episode, I’m not going to tell you to go sign up for this or do that or whatever. No, you’re very smart. If you decide you want more, you could go to our website, but I am just wanting you to hear what’s on my heart from the Lord. Because I think when I articulate what God is doing in me,
1:36
it goes deeper inside of me. I think there’s that scripture that says, from the heart, the mouth speaks something like that. And I think
1:51
when I speak something out loud, it goes deeper in me. So I’m recording this on Wednesday, which I don’t do anything. before midday, aside from spend time with Jesus, and try to listen and try to be quiet and try to just journal what’s on his heart and seek him and try to focus now all of these I do imperfectly very imperfectly, but those are all my tries. I try to realign and re focus and redirect and ask God to help me in all of those things. And of course, this morning, I got a little distracted because of course I had to kiss my husband and he hadn’t brushed his teeth. And so I had to wait for that. And then Hi, yay. But we hugged and kissed and it was spectacular. Here’s what’s on my heart. Here’s the phrase if you only knew his love if you only knew his love I’m continuing to read some apologetics material to my boys as they’re young. And I want them to have solid reasons that they believe because they’re out there. There’s lots of reasons. So if you grew up in a Christian environment, and you just kind of had faith because that’s what your preacher had, and your parents had. And you may be at a spot of like, I don’t really have reasons behind it. There’s there are lots of research sources that have those reasons. So you can bolster your faith in that but I’m really enjoying this process of helping my boys have those sorts of things. I read to them at night these these resources. Because what I love about it is it really starts from ground zero. Why do we believe there is even is a God. And there’s a lot of really cool reasons. But one that I’m I’m really compelled by recently is the fact that people innately know what is good, and what is evil. There’s there’s some sort of innate ability to discern that. And when people who say I can’t believe in God, because why would he permit evil in the world? Well, the fact that there is something that we all in principle everyone who isn’t as sociopath or a psychopath, we all have a baseline around the world of what that there is evil. Maybe we have a tweaked version of this as evil or this is evil. But we all have this concept of evil. You know, even wars that are that are atrocious things are committed, it’s out of this. Well, you did it to me. So this is retribution or other things. I mean, there’s that is definite evidence of God, of a being that designed us to have a good and an evil. I mean, there’s lots of, there’s lots more there. But there’s a passage in the Bible that I happened upon, and haven’t happened upon it since. But it specifically says this phrase that God feeds the birds. God feeds the birds. Now, this isn’t the part of the Bible where Jesus says, even a bear Sparrow, like Don’t be anxious about anything. Because even a sparrow who’s sold for a couple of pennies. When it falls to the ground, God knows that completely. That’s not actually what I mean. This is a different part of the Bible. But it says God’s God feeds the birds. And as I was sitting out in the park today, watching the birds, there were a lot of birds. Then once flying this way, and once flying that way, and what and they’re all I mean, honestly looking for food, and then they find it and like, get on the ground, and they start pecking at it. And I was just like, God, do you really feed the birds?
6:49
Is that Is that who I’m speaking to? The God who feeds the birds? And the one who planted the garden before Adam and Eve got there? I think that’s even what it says in the Bible. He planted it. Like, do you do those things? God? Is that who I’m talking to? Is that who I’m approaching? Because when I see the Bible, it sure seems that way. We’re not talking about a God who was far from us. We’re talking about a God who is intimately in everything we experience, every wind, every sunset, every flower, every tree, every plant, he is doing this. He is intimately involved in his creation. He allows my heart to beat. He causes it to beat for 10 months in my mother’s womb, He knit me together. What does that mean? It means that he knows how my capillaries work. It’s probably the only thing I remember from high school biology. That’s not true. That’s not true. I wish I could reference my science teachers name I loved her. What was her name? I don’t remember but she was wonderful. The point is, whatever you know about the human body, God knit you together. He did that. And he didn’t stop. He’s still he’s still giving you breath. He’s still making sure your blood cells flow through your veins. He’s all up in there. But it’s like we we get so tied into this mindset of I do. I should just speak for myself. I get so tied into this mindset of God is. You know, I think that’s probably why it’s so helpful to in my very limited understanding of God, helpful to define God in three parts. Jesus, who is the human that came to Earth died, sacrificed himself have lived a perfect life, and then for my sins so that I could approach God and have communion with Him. And then the Holy Spirit who is in me, who teaches me, who guides me, who comforts me and helps me, and God, the Father, Who is my father, who, who is totally other and more, and all of these things, and but the thing is, it’s so that’s such a limited mindset of who God is. And when I think about if I only knew how much he loved me, if I only knew that he takes his time to encounter me, if I only knew that every good thing comes from above, even the good things, I don’t take the time to notice that I’m not even aware that I didn’t trip down the stairs. And he caught me before I even stumbled that I only ever If I only knew how that dangerous person who may have been a sociopath was blind to me walking by, if I only knew the way he saves me over and over again, if I only knew the way he made sure that I happened upon that book that prevented me from going out and harming someone else with my incorrect way of thinking, If I only knew how much he loves
11:45
me If I only knew that, that he was willing to possibly risk me turning away from him by allowing something to happen to me, so that I might grow, so that I might become more and the risk that that I could turn away from Him, through Him allowing that negative thing to happen, that it is out of his love that he does such things if I only knew
12:25
him his love. If I only knew if I only knew. And the interesting thing about evil is, and the interesting thing about faith and the interesting thing about God is
12:44
there will be a day that I will understand. But what I know right now is that the things that are real, the things are that are eternal, are not seen. But the things that are temporary, those are the things that are seen right now. That’s what I know from scripture, I know that the things that I can see right now are temporary. And so if somebody is suffering, and it rocks, my faith, the thing is what I see if the suffering is temporary, but eventually, it’s eternal rewards or consequences. That’s the eternal thing. That’s where it’s actually faith. If I only knew, because one day I’ll know. And I’ll look back and I’ll say, Lord, you are really good your way. You’re way more good. You’re way good or whatever the word phrases, you’re way better than I could have ever imagined. You are so good. My words are are tiny. They’re tiny compared to the depth of your love, and goodness to me and the other billions of people who have ever lived, how is it possible that you are so good? I will see you that one day I will be able to witness the goodness of God, His faithfulness that he never stops loving. That His love is so much deeper and wider and truer than I could have imagined. I will get to that spot to find out. Thank the Lord. Thank the Lord No wonder no wonder his anger is so immense because he’s that good. He’s that good. He Really sacrifices at all. He really does. To a degree, we have no clue. One day we will. And we’ll go. Oh, I’m not worthy. Oh, I was so selfish, self centered, immature, ignorant, unwilling to see hard hearted, oh, Lord, have mercy that that will be natural. Because we’ll find out, we’ll find out how really good he is, how really good he is, no matter the suffering you’ve been through, in your marriage, in your intimacy, in the ways you haven’t been loved? Well, you will find out he has been good, you will find out he has been so good to you. And you will find out that that suffering mattered. And you couldn’t have known then you could not have known then all we can do is have faith that it mattered. Maybe you’ll find out that it mattered on this side of eternity. Maybe you never will. Maybe I never will. But it matters. One day, we’ll see. One day we’ll find out that had I not gone through that suffering, that person would never have XYZ became who they were meant to be. Follow Jesus in that way, became a believer. We don’t know. We don’t know. Here’s what I do know, what we do matters. What we do matters, the way we approach life matters. It impacts other people, whether we ever see it or not. It impacts them.
17:20
And I am so far from having this thing figured out. I feel like you know, I meditate on this scripture, I pray that God would help me with it. I write things i i try. And I do it wrong a lot. I do it wrong a lot. And when I hear somebody doing it better than me in certain ways, I’m just like, Lord, help me, help me. And sometimes I feel I feel sad. I feel sad about how I’ve done it wrong for so long, and how I’ve missed that mark, and maybe it’s too late for me or my kids or whomever I need or should have impacted. Maybe it’s just too late to go back and, and fix what I did wrong. And sometimes it is, for example, I’ll never see that person at the airport again that I was disrespectful to. I’m grateful I didn’t have a shirt that says I love Jesus. Because I think that would have pushed them away from Jesus. But I can pray for them. I can ask God for forgiveness. And he is faithful. And he can come for that person. And he can use my sin to possibly turn them closer to Jesus. I don’t know. I don’t know how he could do that. But somehow he could do that. And maybe God allowed that situation so that he could remind me that I still have thorns on my flesh. And I still can hurt people if I’m not prayed up doing my routines relaxed, silent before the Lord doing my rest days the way I should. So maybe it was like Well Thank God it was an airport worker and not your sister who you can hurt a lot worse than an airport person who’s just like well there’s a crazy meanie which I am sure that’s how I was labeled. But no, I don’t want to be mean to acquaintances or service folks. No, I want to love them well too, but maybe God allowed me to see that. Oh, Bella, you still got gaps. You may have figured some things out in your marriage. But listen, you Need to continue to surrender to Me cannot go a day without that even if you’re in the midst of travel. It’s it’s not okay. And he allows those two things just as a brief example of things I’m working on but Ah, okay, so Psalms 100 was a great song to meditate on. I love this is what really stood out to me because I was I was meditating on this portion of Scripture about how he feeds the birds. But then, coupled with Psalm 100, look, get this, verse three, know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us and we are his. I love this. And so start off with that Scripture say, Lord, thank You for Your word. Thank you that this is true. reveal this scripture to me reveal this truth to me. Show me more. Give me more revelation, Lord. And so as I think about this, I think about it is He who made us in the Scriptures before Psalm 97. Oh, man, I mean, the Lord rains, Let the earth be glad. Let the distant shores rejoice, clouds and thick darkness around him righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne. Fire goes before him and consumes his foes on every site, his lightning lights up the world, the earth season trembles, the mountains melt like wax before the Lord before the Lord of all the earth. And then skipping again to Psalms 100, it is He who made us and we are his, it is He who made me and I am his,
22:07
it is he that made you and you are his, you are swimming in a sea of His love, and you know, have no idea. You have no idea how much he loves you, and how much he cares about your suffering? You have no clue. And you may be thinking, Well, this has nothing to do with sex and marriage. I am suffering in sex, sex lessness in my marriage, I’m suffering in the way that my husband treats me and how he rejects Me and is mean to me. I’m suffering in those ways. And those are big sufferings. Those are big sufferings. They’re big, and they’re hard and they’re painful. And why does God matter in that suffering? Why does this conversation matter in that suffering, here’s why it matters. You have no idea how much he loves you. You have no idea that this suffering in it, God is still good. But you will have an idea whether it’s tomorrow, or 20 years from now, or 50 years from now, when you meet him face to face, you will find out that it mattered. It mattered how you suffered. It mattered that you suffered. And there were ramifications to your suffering that you have no idea about. You have no idea about the ramifications of your suffering. It may have been for someone else, it may have been for yourself. It may have been for your spouse, it may have been the way you carried yourself during the suffering that somebody else witnessed. And they turned towards Jesus as a result. And maybe they didn’t turn towards Jesus as a result until 20 years later. But you were a seed that was sown because of the way you handled your suffering. But I want you to know if we don’t trust that God is good in our suffering, we cannot handle our suffering Well, we cannot suffer well. If we doubt God’s goodness, we cannot use a suffering in the way or we went we may not be able to let me clarify. We may not be able to use the suffering in the ways that God wants To use it, if we do not handle our suffering with God, you are good. And you were faithful in this. I don’t know how. But God, you feed the birds. You feed and you care, and you take care of your creation, and I am that creation. I am that creation, I am not only someone you created, when I was born, but every day, every moment of my life, you sustained me, God, every moment of my life, you are that big. You are that big. God is not little. He is not. He is that big. The only way life makes sense is if there is a God that is that big. And guess what, that’s who we serve. That’s who we serve is the God that is that big, so big that he sustains you every single day. He is that all up in your business. He cares that much about the movements of your heart, he has never not been concerned about you, and your suffering. And maybe you have been in a sexless marriage for a long time. He has always cared. He designed you to be filled up in that way. And he cares that you have suffered? Yes, he has permitted it. I don’t know why either. But I do know God is good. And I do know that he is sad with you. This was not his best. This is a result of the fall.
27:06
We live in a broken world. And you know the spouse that has permitted suffering because maybe she has rejected you. Maybe she has been so concerned with her own insecurities that she’s never let you see her. She’s never allowed her self to be in vulnerable situations that would really speak to your heart. She’s never allowed herself to pursue her own pleasure, because she has never dealt with the agony of her past because somebody has harmed her. Somebody has has abused her in some way. No, God’s not okay with that. He’s not okay, that somebody hurt her. She has gone through a suffering and she’s doing whatever the best she can to, to, to deal with that. in whatever ways she is. It’s a suffering, all of us are dealing with sufferings. We all are in our own ways. Maybe she dealt with her suffering, way back when, in a way that harmed her relationship with the Lord harmed her perspective of who the Lord was. And so she’s unable to approach him again, at least at this season. But God is good. We cannot undermine our belief in who God is based on a person’s behavior. Whether that’s a friend, a preacher, a pastor, or our spouse, God is still good. God still loves you. We do not know the extent of his love. But if you do not trust him in the midst of your suffering, in the midst of the trial, in the midst of the tough seasons, maybe along seasons, if we do not trust him in the midst, we undermine the very purposes that he has for them. I don’t say these things because they’re easy to say or to live out or to actually believe. But one day, we’ll get there. And we’ll say Oh, of course. My goodness. Of course. Now I see now it makes sense. Right now we’re looking into a mirror dimly. We have no clue about what’s really happening. We have no clue. We’re Got this this darkened view of what’s actually going on?
30:12
We have no idea what God is doing on the other side. Because he feeds the Burt’s. He’s not far from us. He is not far from us. He cares about you. He cares about the pain. Whomever you are, who cares? You have no idea. His love for you. I have no idea his love for me. But if I can trust that the Word of God is true, if I can pursue
30:56
why it’s true long enough to be like, Oh, whose thing is really true? And then I get in there and start meditating on it. Oh, my goodness. He made me and I am his. He made you and you are his? Did I repeat myself in this episode? Yes, I did. Do I feel like I need to repeat it to myself 1000 times over? Yes, I do. I do. If I only knew his love. I just think about young men with guns. I just think about if they only knew how much they were loved, there would be no violence. If they only knew if they only knew how much God loved them, we were doing. We were doing a discussion with my boys, we just got back from travel. And we are there’s a book called better than before. It’s a book about habits. And one thing she talks about. Gretchen Rubin is how after you come back from a big trip, it’s the perfect time to institute new habits because it’s kind of like you’re on a fresh slate. Okay, so one of the habits is eating together as a family. When we were traveling, we kind of got loosey goosey on on how we were doing that. And so, once again, we’re eating together as a family every dinner and having a discussion during that time. So my boys are pretty young, they’re like nine and almost nine, and seven and a half. And so, you know, I try to try to look for good questions online, so we can start having conversations that matter and, and help them to develop strengths and things around character and actually hearing what their parents think about certain topics. And, and they have time and opportunity to articulate their own thoughts and convictions and have an opportunity to discuss those things. So that’s some us starting that process. And actually, that was inspired from some mentors and friends of ours, who have done that with their kids. And here now their kids are older, and they’re just brilliant, just brilliant, and just wonderful humans and, and they have strong convictions about things. And it’s because they they really supported an atmosphere of of debate and encourage that kind of conversation. So anyway, here I am trying to ask questions of my boys that honestly, I’m wrestling with. So one of the questions was, if you could do anything, or change one thing in the world, what would it be? And so one of my sons did a beautiful conversation about how he would love to give all the money from the rich people to the poor people, so they wouldn’t be poor, and they wouldn’t be suffering. And I just love that answer. And I was thinking, Yes, that’s going to be my answer to. And then my other son talked about how if they would just not use hurtful words. And I thought, oh my gosh, yes. Because, you know, hurtful, hurtful words is the first thing that happens to a war, right? If we could all just say nicer things to each other, we would stop hating each other, we could apologize to each other, and then we wouldn’t get to a place where we’re killing each other. That’s going to be my answer to and then my husband says, you know how he wishes that families could stay together and that they could be loving and kind to each other. In, in other in in lots of different ways he mentioned and I was like, yes, that would be great because then all these these kids would not grow up with such a terrible surroundings and where the husbands and wives would love each Other and they, they could love their kids well, because they’re so filled up in their marriages. And we could have good role models of fathers and good role models of wives and mothers. And just like, yes, that’s gonna be my answer. And then it got to me and I just actually could not figure out a good answer. And I was just like, What in the world? So I kind of went to the wall, maybe it would be the money thing, but then that wouldn’t be enough, because he’s just given money. That’s not. I was like, well, maybe they would, you know, no God. And I just, I’m trying to give these boys the right answer. But now I’m just like, I’m going to talk to them today on this, what I’ve settled on, and it’s really knowing his love. Like I, sometimes I feel very convinced that I have got the right answer. But is it deep in me? Hmm. It’s right. But I don’t know how deep it is.
35:54
And I feel like God is giving me just a glimpse of revelation today on how deep this truth is, knowing his love. If if, if we, if we knew his love, we could trust in the midst of our suffering. If we knew his love, we could trust in the midst of someone else’s suffering, if we knew the depth of his love. And it’s not a feeling. I mean, I think I’m feeling the revelation right now. But it’s not. I’m not relying on a feeling. I’m actually relying on the fact that I mean, so many truths in apologetics. And again, that just means that it is why Christianity is true. I’m relying on my faith that’s been grounded in sure life experience but also like, intellectual arguments, that we’re morally bankrupt if we don’t believe in God. There’s all sorts of other reasons but they’re, there are reasons that atheists lifetime atheists become Christians, because science doesn’t make sense without a god. So I just want to invite you to realize there is a dearth there was an absence of revelation of God’s love in you.
37:32
And it me but you didn’t know we were so alike. I want more of that. I want more of recognizing and learning and knowing what His love is, and singing songs about it, but but actually deeper than that.
38:00
deeper than that, truer than that. I can say the right things, but do I. But But is it knowing there’s there’s two different words for to know in Spanish and I love this one is Subash. Which means like, I know a fact. And one is kono said, which is like I know a person. And honestly, I’m not quite sure which one this should be. But I kind of feel like it should be kind of sad. Because if I only knew, as as though I were in relationship with, where as though I could hold and define and revel and appreciate the depth, the width, the height, the length, the trueness of His love. If I really got it, not just as a fact. But like to know to know, his love, would it impact me in a greater way? Would it cause me to suffer better? Would it cause me to live my life on a 20 minute by 20 minute check in of like, Oh, I forgot about God for the last 20 minutes. Let me recheck in and re abide with him into recognize. I kind of just got out there in the branches and I need to get back towards the vine. How do we do this but if we knew his love, if we knew I can’t breathe without him breathing with me without him allowing my lungs to expand. If that is the God I serve, then that’s the God I don’t forget During the day, and remember right before I go to bed, and I need to pray with my boys, or remember when I get up to do my quiet time, and I forget, once I start logging into my emails, and do you relate, I’m hoping I relate to you, because this is me. I want to know His love, I want to walk in it, I want to be so assured of it. Because that’s not the way I function naturally. I wasn’t raised in that kind of mindset. But I want to know His love. I want to be dependent on it. I was raised in a very independent way. Like, as soon as you can do something by yourself, do it don’t, you know, don’t rely on anyone you’ve done it at all, get, get out there and move out as soon as you can, you know, don’t all that kind of stuff. And but God wants us to be dependent on him. He wants to be He wants us to be like little children. That that’s actually biblical. And when I think of a baby, I mean, it can’t even eat without being attached to his mom, or her mom. Like he can’t even eat. It can’t sustain life. For 10 months, it was completely dependent on the mom for feeding for every bit of nutrients, the baby would not have survived outside of the mom. And then it’s attached. But I’m supposed to be like a baby. I’m supposed to be like a child basking in the mother’s or the Father’s love. If I only knew his love, I would walk differently. Oh, my the worrying would stop wouldn’t it? If I only knew that God was so all up in every single thing that happened to me in every single little bit of every bit, every all all of it like literally, we cannot find something he’s not all up in. He’s got. He’s that big. He’s that April. Somehow this makes sense. And you may very well never find out most of the stuff we won’t find out until eternity, most of the stuff. Most of the stuff you even have forgotten, that rocked your faith back way back when
42:48
you won’t know until eternity. And so I hope for me that I’ve repeated this enough for it could to go deeper in me. But I also hope for you that yes, you consumed this by listening but I hope that you’ll repeat it. Maybe you could repeat it with me right now. If I only knew how much he loved me, this would make sense. If I only knew how much he loved me, I would agree with the suffering. If I only knew how much he loved me what’s happening in this situation would make sense to me to If I only knew how much he loved me, the way people act would be very different. If they knew how much he loved them God I trust that you love me. And I want that to be deeper. I want the suffering in my marriage. To make sense because I know you love me and there is purpose to this suffering May I pray for you? Lord Jesus, I’m also praying for me. I want to understand your love in a brand new way. I mean in a in a shout it from the roofs top A different kind of way. If I only knew, if I only knew if this one only knew that you even feed them, that you even feed the birds. That what they are facing makes way, way more sense if they got to the other side of eternity, and they look back and say, oh, Lord, You were good in that moment. You were faithful in that moment, it was your mercy to allow that suffering. It was your mercy. It was your grace, it was your love exhibited to me.
45:45
That you allowed me to go through that. And Lord, I asked for a grace for this person
45:53
to say yes, God. Yes. Yes, I agree with you in this moment. I agree with you, I trust you in this. Because I know your love for me. I know your love for me. And I trust that more than I trust my own own faulty understanding, because your thoughts are higher than my thoughts, your ways are higher than my ways. So much so that higher than the heavens are above the Earth. Your thoughts are higher than my thoughts, your ways are higher than my ways I’m not God. And it’s ridiculous for me to try to figure that out. Give this one a grace, to trust your love. That you are all up in this situation. You are all up in it. You get all of it. And yes, you could speak a word and it would end but listen. You allow this because your love is bigger than we could ever imagine. And your goodness is bigger than we could ever imagine. And this is love Whether you believe it, or whether you understand it or not. This is what love is to allow what’s happening right now. I don’t know why, either. But God you are bigger. And you are faithful. No matter how ugly, gross, bad, sad, difficult, treacherous. This looks like Lord, I asked for this one listening to have a deeper, deeper, deeper revelation of your love than ever before. And I want that to God. I ask for that. Help us to love you because you love us first. So Lord in my tiny little way. I just say I love you. And I want that to be truer and deeper and wider for me to Amen. Well, this was special. Thank you for joining me in it. And I look forward to talking to you next week. I would love for you to spend a little time reflecting. And I’m gonna give you some space and time on this reflecting. Sharing with God. What this makes you think of and I’ll place the music after you have that opportunity. I love you. Thank you
50:32
I hope that was a beautiful reflection time. And I just remembered my high school biology teacher. Miss Dell. Shout out to you, Mr. Hill. God bless. talk next week.