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He Died to Himself and She Decided Intimacy Needed to Change: Rebekah’s Story

Rebekah didn’t sign up for marriage coaching.

She wasn’t looking for help. In fact, when her husband first discovered us, she politely declined any involvement. He had found the podcast and was quietly listening, learning, and applying. She wasn’t ready.

But he didn’t push.
He didn’t demand.
He just loved her.

And that—his sacrificial, consistent, Christlike love—is what eventually opened her heart.

When the Husband Leads and Goes First

“He died to himself,” Rebekah said, describing her husband Noah’s transformation. “He was willing to love me even if I didn’t love him back.”

It didn’t happen overnight. Noah committed to the Men’s Program during Rebekah’s pregnancy, often implementing everything he learned from recordings because he was unable to attend the live Group Coaching Calls due to work.

He walked out the truth. And over time, Rebekah noticed.

“I felt deeply that he was doing that for me,” she shared. “And that softened my heart.”

 

Being Intimidated by Intimacy

Rebekah’s journey around intimacy was painful.
It was often physically painful.
She didn’t enjoy it.
She felt shy around it and blushed when the topic came up.
She felt disconnected—from herself, from her husband, even from her own body.

She also knew what was at stake.

“Intimacy was already hard… but with kids, it could disappear completely,” she said. “I didn’t want that. For me. Or for our son.”

She began to see how her challenges weren’t just affecting her—it was impacting her family. And when she realized how her own view of her body and sexuality could shape her child’s experience, she knew something needed to change.

God Opened the Door for A Change of Heart in Intimacy

“I had already been recommending DYM to others,” she laughed. “But I hadn’t done it myself. And I realized… maybe this was my turn.”

What she discovered wasn’t just practical help. It was healing.

 

Learning to Feel Safe

One of Rebekah’s breakthroughs came in understanding safety—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.

Through the program, she learned how to identify when her body was in fight-or-flight mode—and how to speak truth over herself: “My husband loves me. I’m safe. This is how he expresses love.”

By renewing her mind with Scripture and applying our tools, she started to relax, receive, and even enjoy intimacy!

And the community of women around her helped normalize what once felt foreign.

Learning Healthy Boundaries—and Becoming a Daughter

One coaching call stood out above the rest. The topic was boundaries—not as walls, but as the way we act like we truly are children of God.

“I realized I wasn’t treating myself like I was God’s daughter,” Rebekah said, her voice trembling with tears. “And I needed to stop crossing boundaries in my own mind.”

That moment launched a new season in her life—one where she no longer withheld emotionally, physically, or spiritually. Instead, she began living like someone deeply loved and worth loving.

 

Becoming More Confident in Intimacy, Growing in Emotional Maturity, and More

Here’s what she now walks in:

• Confidence in intimacy with her husband

• Emotional maturity and responsibility

• Joy rooted in Christ not circumstances

• A transformed mindset aligned with truth

• A deeper value for marriage than ever before

She even said, “Going into this, I didn’t value marriage like I do now. But I believe God can save any marriage. He did it for mine.”

 

Final Thoughts for If You Feel It’s All Too Much…

We know what it’s like to feel like your marriage is hopeless. Like intimacy will never change. It will remain painful. It will remain disconnected. It will remain joyless.

We also know how it feels to be unsure of a program like this. “Will it really work for me?” “Are the testimonies actually true?” “I see it worked for them, but my marriage is different. We are too far gone.”

Let us encourage you today:
Your marriage is not too far gone. Yes, these testimonies, Rebekah’s included, are true. And, by the grace of God, it does work and change marriages.

Your intimacy does not have to remain joyless and painful and disconnected. It can be joyful, enjoyable, and connected.

 

Let’s end with a prayer:
Heavenly Father, you know this one. You know who needed to hear this message and who needed to read these words. Father, would you bless them in their marriage. Would you bring them the healing they’ve been longing for. Would you give them divine patience, mercy, and grace for their spouses and divine ideas on how to love them well. Would you give them the inspiration and encouragement they need and remind them how deeply loved they are by you. In your holy name, we pray, Amen.

 

With love,

 

The Delight Your Marriage Team

 

PS – If you want to know more about the Women’s Program that Rebekah mentioned, that helped her go from dreading intimacy to looking forward to it with excitement, we have a free Masterclass available for you. Consider it a free sample! 🙂 Check out Women’s Masterclass: Intimacy Confidence to register.

 

PPS – Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate:

“Not being able to connect or communicate well. Very little vulnerability on both sides. Perfectionism. I felt like the kids and I could never be good enough. I could not share my heart or thoughts on something without being judged so I didn’t. Being cherished was something I tried not to think about because it felt too impossible… [Now,] I’m more confident, playful, happily and intentionally imperfect… I’ve learned to rejoice in the Lord always! I can’t believe how much has changed in our marriage just by imitation! Because I have modeled imperfection, playfulness, and being easily pleased, the tension and critiquing in our marriage and home has gone way down. We are having so much more fun!”

 

Transcript:

Belah, welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. You’re joining me, Bela rose, as I dive deep into the beauty power and truths about intimacy, learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. Delight your marriage.

00:20

Hi there. Welcome this is Bela rose, and I’m thrilled to invite you to listen to Rebecca’s story. She actually is one of the many who came to the coaching program after her husband did His work in the men’s program. And that’s actually very common, because at the end of the day, men are the leaders of their homes. Biblically speaking, that’s true, and there’s so many wives that are praying that their husbands would understand scripturally sound

00:55

lifestyle actions that would then make her feel safe and cause her to want to change in the ways that would make him feel loved as well. And so that’s Rebecca’s story that her husband came through. He died to himself. He learned how to live based on Scripture.

01:17

And then his wife decided, You know what, it was her turn to change and get insight that will ultimately impact their brand new baby and generations to come. So if you are interested in also joining program like Rebecca and her husband did go to delight ym.com/cc

01:39

and

01:41

you’ll listen, you’ll be able to speak to a wonderful clarity advisor who’s gone through the process themselves, and God has done incredible things through this work. So we’d love to see you on the other side, but let’s dive into Rebecca’s story. You

02:07

Hello, Rebecca, I am so excited to be here with you today. I just want to thank you so much for sharing your story. I am thrilled to be able to talk with you about your experiences in the delighted wife program. And, you know, testimonial interviews like this are a huge benefit to those who hear them. So I just am. Just want you to know how excited I am. So to get started, I would love for you, if you don’t mind, to please tell us a little bit about yourself and how you found delight your marriage to begin with?

02:46

Yeah, well, hello, and

02:50

so I found delight your marriage through my husband. He whenever we first got married,

02:59

we were having some issues, and he was looking up, like, how to help me through them, and how to,

03:10

yeah, just for help. And I guess our generation is pretty good at googling. And like, I guess this day and age, Google can bring up some solutions, but there’s not very many Christian marriage advice, right? And he found delight your marriage podcast, and he started listening to that, and he really liked it, and he actually shared with me some of them, but at that time, I wasn’t able, I was not open to receiving anything in that nature of the content that Bela was sharing and

03:48

and then he, I think that was maybe a year into marriage, he found a podcast, and then he had told me about the coaching program, or like, Even one on one, coaching with Belah, I guess. And I was like, No, I can’t do that. Thank you, though. And yeah. And so then he decided to

04:10

inquire about the men’s program, and I didn’t know about it. He just said that he was going to do, like, a coaching program. And I was like, Yeah, that’s awesome. That sounds good. Business Coaching is cool and but it wasn’t business coaching, but I guess in an indirect way, it is so, yeah, yeah.

04:30

And then so he just kind of did those discreetly, and that was whenever I was pregnant with our son, which I guess was two years ago. I think I had said it was about three or three years ago, but I think it was two years ago, and then he did that and started implementing

04:49

the steps. And I actually don’t think he was able to make any of the coaching calls or the accountability calls because of our work schedule, but he nonetheless, he ended up implementing.

05:00

Following the steps, and it just, I, I feel like,

05:06

with the program, he I noticed a difference, and it felt like he had, like, died for me, and that’s how I describe it, I guess. And

05:18

because he was,

05:21

like, willing, and learned to be satisfied with an unideal marriage, and learned to be okay with that, and love me, even if I don’t like love him back necessarily, wow. And so him doing that, and me like feeling him genuine. And of course, he’s not perfect, but I felt deeply that he was doing that for me, and that really helped soften my heart to change and

05:54

to other things. And then

05:58

having a baby is pretty transformational. And so I was like, well, one I know that I need to work through my issues with intimacy in order to have a better birth next time. And also, stereotypically, intimacy gets harder with kids, and I don’t want that to happen because it’s already hard, so it’s going to be like, non existent, if, right, if we keep going at this rate. But I think after so with Noah really, like dying to Himself for

06:33

me.

06:35

And I mean, of course, it’s God like helping him do that and transforming his heart, but he had to choose to do that. Yes, Rebecca, and then our baby coming into our life, which that, I mean, it was a it was a beautiful experience. And

06:54

I realized that my issues with intimacy and my

07:00

inability to

07:02

view me, myself as a sexual like in my sexuality,

07:08

that that would affect him, and one it like affected his birth. I mean, he’s healthy, and the birth was fine, but

07:18

And so that was like a very clear way of how I saw that that had happened,

07:23

and then, and

07:26

then it can continue to affect him, and it will affect us and just our whole family.

07:33

So I think so that’s how I came to learn of delight your marriage, and became more open to it. And that, I think, before I started the program, I was actually in a with receiving coaching. It was just like health, life and mindset coaching, and I felt the call like the lead to stop that and and I didn’t realize that God was wanting me to do this program, but I had to stop that before knowing I was going to do this one, and so that that was kind of interesting, yes, but yeah, wow. Rebecca, this is beautiful. I really, I mean to go from

08:17

you know you’re being married a year your husband searching for trusted resources, and by trusted I mean scriptural based resources. Yeah, to hearing it, but not really subscribing to what what you are hearing. I understand that, and that’s actually somewhat common for women, but then, lo and behold, your husband, he committed to this work, Rebecca, and I’m not telling you anything new, but it’s really important to point out his commitment to the Lord in this work and to really applying what he was learning, especially to hear Rebecca that circumstances didn’t allow him to be on the coaching calls with Belah and on some of you know his accountability calls with other gentlemen in the program, to hear that he truly put in above and beyond. And the effort there, the or the result of the effort, there is a softening of your heart, and is an, is a, maybe a shift in in perspective on this work right on, on the ability to say, well, you know what I, I see in you, what the Lord is doing, and I see you committed to it, and I, and I, I feel it in our relationship, for you to then be able to say, Okay, I think I need to. I need to work on my own heart. I need to work on the things that are going on in me that’s a big deal, Rebecca, and I’m so incredibly proud of your husband for stepping up.

10:00

That way, really being the leader of your home in that way, it’s so beautiful. So was there? Was there one thing Rebecca that that brought you to the place where you said, Okay, how do I how do I get involved in a delight your marriage program? What do I do?

10:20

Let’s interesting question.

10:24

Well, I think going back to like

10:29

I

10:30

like, I could feel and see Noah working hard to like, love

10:36

me. And I mean, he had done. He’s done that our whole marriage, which we’ve been married five years,

10:46

and he’s really, like, taken on the whole load of our marriage, basically,

10:51

wow. And I guess

10:54

I just felt that it was time, and I knew that I knew that, and I I’m trying to put words to my experiences, but you’re doing great. You’re doing great.

11:08

Rebecca, I started spending more time with the Lord, and I felt like this was just the most obvious area that was preventing me from being in God’s will. And, of course, I want to be in God’s will and,

11:26

and I had already feel some things internally shifting, like starting to meet, be more physically attracted to Noah, and which, I mean, he’s objectively attractive. And

11:38

but I just, I don’t know, I just had, like, a disconnect in my brain, and so God was starting to heal those areas already. And I was like, Well, if I I could, like, take the slow road and try to do it all on my own, or I could, like, get support and guidance and make it way quicker. And I think that just makes a lot of sense, makes a lot of and I had already, I had, I was at a point where I was recommending delight your marriage to several other people. I was like, well, if I’m recommending it, maybe I should do it, because

12:12

I can’t, like, fully recommend it if I don’t fully know what, what’s going on. Yes,

12:20

yeah. And so I guess I think that answers your question, no, that definitely answers my question, absolutely. Rebecca, that’s beautiful. Do you mind sharing with us what the clarity call process was like for you?

12:34

Oh, I loved it. You’re so fun to talk to you.

12:39

That makes me smile. Thank you. Rebecca, yeah. Um, so I feel like it really helped me to

12:48

develop the dream for my marriage, because I guess I haven’t actually thought about which seems silly, because it seems so obvious that you should think about what you would like in marriage,

13:03

and it helped me to see what it would be like to be in God’s Will with marriage.

13:12

And like, of course God wants you to be in his will. So of course he wants what His will would look like for you to happen, yes,

13:21

but we have to choose that. And so I guess in seeing it, it helped me see the end goal and then choose the steps to get there. Yeah, beautiful, beautiful. And I have to say, Rebecca, your clarity call was, was a really beautiful process from my vantage point, because I could just, I could tell how much you loved your husband first and foremost, how much you love the Lord, and how you really wanted to learn how to live within the gift that he gave you as a wife and as a daughter of the king. And so I just, I remember your your courage and your humility really stood out for me, and your willingness to just be open and share what was on your heart, it meant a lot to me, and it was an honor to get to have that conversation with you. And speaking of dream mode, I mean, it is, it is, by far my favorite part of the clarity call, because it, it is important to dream in your marriage and to to hold on to different aspects of hope that the Lord has already infused into your marriage, but you just have to grab sight of them, right? So beautiful. Oh, I love it. So Rebecca, what? What challenges were you facing before you joined the program?

14:42

Well,

14:44

discomfort with physical intimacy and just an immaturity in that area like I, I think I can say sex without blushing as much, but

14:57

I still do like the nervous giggle and.

15:00

Whatnot, but it’s a little, it’s a little.

15:05

But I,

15:07

yeah, it was just

15:09

I didn’t enjoy. I mean, I enjoyed, like my husband, enjoying physical intimacy, but I wouldn’t say that. I actually enjoyed it, and he and then he’s a very sensitive person, so then he could feel that. And then, of course, like the husband, it’s important for that, for you to it’s important to them that you enjoy it. Yes, um,

15:30

yes. And I had trouble just like, allow and it, I mean, and then that like, that’s representative of, like, your ability to enjoy life and like, and it’s a

15:45

and I believe that the woman’s role in intimacy is to be more in a state of surrender or like, vulnerability and

15:55

and like whenever I’m whenever I can allow myself to feel safe,

16:02

and

16:04

then

16:05

the enjoyment just kind of naturally happens, and then I can feel more safe in life, and yeah, just like surrender to life experiences as well. So,

16:19

so I guess.

16:21

Let me think if I answered your question, you did so the Okay, I know you’re doing a great job. You’re doing a great job. Rebecca, how would, how did the delighted wife program help you overcome these challenges?

16:36

Well, I I feel like I think it was the first four weeks. Maybe it was five weeks where they you really just set the foundation for the other things. Um, I mean,

16:48

and of course, like those steps are in the in this order for a reason. But like, the first week, I think we, we did the Wait, what

16:58

was your question? Just how the delighted wife program helped you overcome the challenges that that you were facing before the Oh, yes, um, so I it really the program helped me to feel more safe with Noah and recognize when maybe my nervous system was switching into more of a

17:25

like, fight or flight mode, and to be like, Okay, there’s no reason to be afraid right now, my husband loves me, and this is how he expresses his love toward me, and Then I can switch my mindset and relax

17:41

and the the program,

17:45

well, one, I think it provided the space for me to recognize that and to it other ladies talk about,

17:54

are they? They’re able to

17:56

be silly and share openly.

18:01

And that helped

18:03

bring a sense of normality with physical intimacy.

18:09

And then also the steps that Belah has us take, helps me to feel more safe with God and trust God more. And then with that, I’m able to trust my husband more and

18:26

be able to receive

18:28

my husband’s love intimately

18:33

and enjoy and then that just leads to enjoying it and Being able to love my husband more beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

18:44

I love it.

18:47

What would you what would you say are some of the specific results or improvements that you’ve experienced, and you’ve just mentioned a couple of them, but I’d love to hear any other improvements, or just

19:07

results that you know have really helped move the needle even farther in your in your relationship, because you mentioned before, like, Okay, I could, I’m seeing changes because of my husband’s commitment to The Lord and through this work, so I could take the slow road and allow him to continue to lead and, you know, really lean into that. Or I could step up to the plate and and really work on this and kind of get, get that, get those results faster. So, yeah, any other, any other results or improvements that you experience that you’d like to share with us?

19:43

Yeah, um, I think it’s like doing that has helped me take more responsibility for my my end of the marriage,

19:57

and I.

20:01

Yeah, and also, like, just my responsibility for other

20:06

things that are maybe indirectly related to marriage, like my emotions and my perspective and like, is this true, or am I is it just

20:19

like, Is my mindset and perspective lined up with truth, or is it not lined up with truth? And how do I get it there

20:29

and then

20:30

I feel like I’ve just had more joy

20:36

as I get fulfillment from the Lord and not necessarily from my husband or my external circumstances,

20:45

which I,

20:48

which I Yeah,

20:52

so that, because I need to be at my relationship with God, and I need to seek my fulfillment from him so I can love my husband, because I I obviously can’t love him on my own, because I’m, I stink at it, yes.

21:07

And so whenever I do that, by the way, Rebecca, you’re not, oh yeah. You’re not alone in that. Which is why, yeah, which is why I’m still a student of this work, by the way. But yeah, oh yeah. And, yeah, and,

21:20

and, I mean, marriage is a and accepting that marriage, like loving my husband, goes against my flesh, and then it is, and it is almost like a tool that God uses to make it, to help us be more like Christ, and to die to my own desires and accept God’s will for my life. And it, and it’s a very. I mean, marriage just seems to be a very

21:44

symbolic in nature, I guess, of like God’s love for us in a sense,

21:50

yes, yes. Oh, that’s beautiful.

21:54

So beautiful. So what? How would you? Oh, no, I’m sorry, this is what I wanted to ask you. What was it like being on the call, the group coaching calls, live with Belah. What was that like for you? Rebecca?

22:06

Well, at first I was very nervous,

22:11

and I felt like I was going to vomit if she were to ask me anything. But then after that, it was, it was fine, like every that was just because I was more too focused on myself. But, I mean, I think everybody feels that way at first, to an extent, but then

22:26

the they were awesome. I mean, I learned so much from all the ladies, and they all bring, like, such unique experiences. And I learned like a ton from them. And I mean, I’ve never actually known anybody who had gone through the certain things that they had gone through and and

22:47

still been married. Wow. Um, wow. And it’s so it, it was like, Wow. I

22:54

it def

22:59

like I had, I had never seen

23:02

marriage change, because sometimes these ladies go through things, and I’ve only seen a marriage end after them,

23:10

and it really my value. I don’t know. I keep on asking you if I’m answering your question, I’m just going to finish what I’m saying, and then I’ll ask you. But it really made me value marriage. I I think, after spending time with these ladies and learning their story, I’m like, wow, divorce is never God’s will. I mean, there might be different things that we have to do and, like, maybe take some space, but, I mean, I think God will save any marriage.

23:42

And, I mean, there’s different things that we’ll have to do and, but it, it was like, Wow. I i guess going into the course, I I didn’t have that value of marriage,

23:56

but, I mean, I do now, so yeah, wow, yeah. Yeah. But anyways, being in the with the other ladies, like, I just I learned because they asked questions that I would never ask, yeah, and then they get the answer. And I’m like, Oh, I’m so glad that she asked that, because I would have never asked that. And

24:16

and then I it’s like,

24:19

if I can only see like, one side of something, they’re able to ask questions to get, like, on the other side or on diagonally of the same thing that I’m thinking about. And so it like, brings in a whole new light to what I’m perceiving. Yeah, that’s incredible.

24:34

That’s incredible. Almost like,

24:40

really, a whole holistic approach, right? You are, you are in a group coaching call with Belah, who is your coach,

24:48

and she’s leading you through her the the program you know, scripturally and and fundamentally. But being able to be in a group of other women who obviously are.

25:00

Are sharing some of the the challenges and that you’re facing, but they might not be exactly the same, because we’re all unique, right? So, but we’ve come in with with struggles and challenges that might be the same. So to hear that you can actually be in this group coaching and benefit, not just from belahs coaching, which, of course, you know, is, is wonderful, but you can also gain knowledge from the experiences of of these other ladies. That’s really, really impactful, Rebecca, that’s incredible, yeah, yeah. And then there’s an extension of that, right? So the the women’s community also has a weekly accountability call. And so what was it? What was it like to be able to get on that call on a weekly basis with just the ladies? Oh yeah, I really enjoyed that. It felt

25:50

when you there was, there was more time, time to just like, talk really, and get to know each other,

25:57

and

25:59

they’re all just really lovely and supportive, and it’s nice to be able to support one another. Yeah, beautiful.

26:09

Yeah, there’s been overarching. I’m sorry, Rebecca, I interrupted you. Go ahead. Oh no. I just was saying I enjoyed it. Oh, good. That’s wonderful. There’s, there’s a word that keeps coming up in in your story, but also in my mind, and that’s safety.

26:27

Did you feel safe in the in the community, in the the group coaching calls? Did it just, did it feel like a place where you could be yourself and be honest and open about not just what was going on, but also the challenges that were going about, but also the the glimmers and sharing, you know, the the changes that you were experiencing.

26:49

Um, yes, and at first, maybe not so much, but then it quickly became like, I mean, at first, and then you quickly learned that it, it is all right, um, and,

27:03

and, I mean,

27:06

so in short, yes, and then also, like, I have to remind myself that,

27:13

like, it’s okay to be silly or share something embarrassing or um, because, I mean, it is and and it and it.

27:23

And if I can share that in this space, then it, it helps me

27:28

maybe share something a little less embarrassing elsewhere. But if I can do it here, then I can do it elsewhere. I guess, beautiful, beautiful. So good.

27:41

I’m curious if we could explore just one thing that you mentioned. Rebecca, you said that

27:48

loving your husband really felt more like it was going against your flesh.

27:56

Do

27:58

you mind telling us more about that and how that, how that feels today.

28:03

Yeah,

28:06

let’s see.

28:13

So I guess

28:15

the things he maybe enjoys aren’t things that I naturally enjoy.

28:22

I Yeah, but I can learn to enjoy them if I decide to wow

28:29

and and, of course, like with God’s help, and like

28:36

seeing that, I

28:41

asking for God’s help to

28:44

maybe enjoy the things or or asking him to to reveal to me, like the importance of it, or convict me of it, of the things that I need to change in which I mean, the program definitely does a Good job with the conviction and showing you like,

29:03

like, why things are important and and I think that’s really lovely to

29:10

help me to ask God for help in these in these areas. And so now I, I mean, I, of course, I guess we’re all pretty selfish, but

29:23

I do feel selfish in some areas, but it is a lot easier for me to enjoy the things that my husband enjoys,

29:34

like in physical intimacy and but then also like in activities and being less focused on my own things, which, of course, there’s like a balance, because you need to do things that help you in your relationship with God and fill you up. But then, but then like, but then there’s also like, I need to spend time with my husband and enjoy the things that he enjoys.

30:00

These and be intentional with that, because I’m not, like, if I’m not intentional with it, then I’m just not going to do it right. If that makes sense, that makes total sense. Total sense.

30:11

Praise God for that. That mind shift.

30:15

That’s a Yeah, yeah. That’s a big Yeah. And praise God. And I’m and I’ve noticed Noah do that. Like, I mean, he’s I, he’s more emotionally mature than I am, which is a benefit to me. But like, if I’m doing something, he’ll see, like, oh, I need to, like, if I try, I can enjoy this with her,

30:37

but if I, if I don’t try, then I’m just going to be doing this, but this is important, so I need to, like, really try. And so he does, and then he and, and so that, which, I guess I mean,

30:51

that is, yeah, that’s that, yeah, no, it’s good. It’s very good. Would you, would you say your emotional maturity grew in the in the delighted wife program, going through this, this process, yeah, I would definitely say that.

31:13

And I guess I’m not sure what emotional maturity like actual it actually is, but

31:22

I definitely feel that I’m able to take ownership for my own

31:27

urges and natural inclinations to do certain things and align it with truth, like and ask God, like, just being totally dependent on Holy Spirit, and be like, hey, is this right? Is it not right? Like, what should I be doing right now? And, yeah, and yeah. So I guess that that would be emotional maturity. So, yes, yes, Rebecca, I think you have just defined it in a very beautiful way, very beautiful way. So I think you do know, okay, yeah, yeah. I hear, I hear that you do, and I hear that you have, you’ve grown in such a beautiful way.

32:06

It’s really wonderful. What was the most impactful moment for you during your time in the delighted wife program?

32:19

So just like, not necessarily with the content or, I mean, because it like, as you apply the content. So just like, in general, the last three months, anything that comes to mind, yeah, okay.

32:33

Well,

32:36

the thing that comes to mind when you ask that question is, whenever we talked about boundaries, and

32:45

like in

32:47

one of the coaching calls,

32:51

and then I She

32:56

so basically how Belah had defined it as boundaries.

33:05

Come whenever you feel like, whenever you recognize that you are a child of God and you you are a child of God, and you need to,

33:14

like,

33:16

teach other people basically, that you are a child of God by acting in that Yeah, and that you need to treat other people as children of God, and how you treat them,

33:29

and,

33:33

and being like strict with that, and,

33:37

and so I think in that She was talking to someone who needed to implement boundaries with their spouse. But then I also saw that man, I think, I think I cross my husband’s boundaries sometimes, and I can just be so disrespectful. And also I need to put boundaries towards myself,

34:01

like in my mind, I am not. I mean, I I’m better than I once was. But like,

34:09

is my life aligned with? Like, am I a child of God? Yeah, and

34:17

like, I need to. I’m getting all teary. I guess I didn’t realize that this is that impactful. But Rebecca, it’s um, yeah, um.

34:28

And, like, I need to act in that truth,

34:31

um, and set boundaries on myself and teach other people, like, how to treat someone that’s a child of God. Like, wow, yeah. And, I mean, I Yeah, so I think just that concept was really powerful for me, and to see how Belah

34:52

helped another lady implement it

34:56

helped me

34:58

just understand, like, what is.

35:00

It’s, what does it mean to be a child of God?

35:05

And then I looked up a bunch of her podcasts, and then I listened to the boundaries book. And so that was, yeah, I think that was a

35:14

good moment. I’d say that’s incredibly impactful.

35:19

Yes, yes, yes, yeah, so praise God for that. So good. This is so sweet,

35:26

so sweet.

35:28

Yeah, I think that that emotion, that that bubbled up to the surface, there is a true testament to how impactful that, you know, that piece was for you.

35:38

And you know what it how it just helps add a foundation to what you learned through this program. Well you implemented in this program as well. Because clearly, I started off this, this interview by, you know, really

35:54

being proud of your husband for doing the work that he did, for stepping up and really committing to the Lord in his heart, in this and Rebecca, you’ve clearly done the same. You’ve clearly done the same. And I’m just so, I’m so grateful to the Lord that this is that, this is work that you both leaned into

36:15

so early in your marriage,

36:18

right? I mean, yeah, it’s just, it’s incredible. It’s so beautiful. And I just, I thank you so much for sharing your story with us today. We truly, truly appreciate your time and your courage and your honesty. Before we finish, I’m curious what advice you would give a wife who is in a similar situation to where you were prior to the program?

36:56

Well, if I were to talk to Rebecca, that was in 2019,

37:04

I think I would tell her

37:09

to

37:11

that her subconscious mind is messed up and that she needs to read her Bible Out Loud and pray every day

37:22

and ask God to open her heart to

37:25

receive God’s love

37:28

for her, and

37:31

to ask for her to ask God to help her to love her husband, and then

37:40

maybe a month later, I would show her the podcast.

37:47

That’s great, if she was diligent in doing those things, right? Yeah, yeah, wow, I don’t, I mean I, I that that’s what comes to mind. Anyways, Rebecca in 2019 anyways, yes, yes, yes. Rebecca, I completely understand if I could talk to Dana of 2019

38:09

it would I would have a lot to I would have a lot to say.

38:14

I would have a lot to want her to hear. I think is another piece of it too.

38:21

It’s so sweet. Anything else you’d like to add before we wrap up? Rebecca,

38:28

well, I guess

38:30

I just want to acknowledge all the work that it’s probably taken to develop delight your marriage,

38:37

man, I can’t even imagine, and that’s I’m I’m just grateful for you all behind the scenes.

38:45

I mean, it takes, it takes a lot of, I mean, you have to be intentional with your time with God and and also to, yeah, just to do do this. And I really, I mean, I find it encouraging to

38:59

to see and

39:01

to be on the receiving end of the ministry.

39:06

And I think it gives me hope for what God is doing.

39:13

Yeah, just it gives me hope to see, to see

39:19

people that are like, working hard to be in God’s will. And, I mean, it is like, I mean, of course, like,

39:26

God gives, gives the fruit of the Spirit and and everything. But, I mean, it is pretty tough work so, but you have to choose. So, I mean, I just think that’s really cool, and it encourages me in my life to see what you guys are doing to be like, I wonder what my delight your marriage is like, what’s something that I can work diligently at? And,

39:50

yeah, and it not necessarily like in a quote, unquote ministry, but like as in my family and starts with like, God and marriage and kids and I.

40:00

Yes and yeah. So that yeah, that’s what I felt in my heart to add. So thank you. Oh, my goodness, you are so welcome, and all glory to God for every ounce of this. But I think I can speak for the whole team when I say thank you very much for your sweet birds, that means a lot. Oh, well, you’re welcome. Very good. Rebecca, thank you so much for your your time. We really appreciate it. This was a beautiful opportunity to share your story. Thank you so much. Well. Thank you. You

40:44

Oh, my goodness, thank you, Rebecca for humbling yourself and deciding, you know what. I don’t want this issue of intimacy to impact our children. I want things to transform with me so that it can bless our children, and that’s what happened. So thank you, Rebecca, for joining, for trusting us and listener, I’m grateful that you are part of this work, and we’d love to be part of your story and this transformation, maybe you’re going to be the next, but go to delight. Ym.com/cc

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and we would love to serve You. All right, God bless you. Bye, you.