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Abiding in God’s Love by Living a Life of Surrender
(Formerly Titled: Real Love Takes Sacrifice)

We know the Bible says “God is love” (1 John 4:8) and that He loved us first. But if we’re honest, many of us spend more time wondering, “Does God really love me?” than asking the deeper, more revealing question: “Do I truly love Him?”

That’s the heart of today’s message. God’s love for you is unshakable, unchanging, and eternal. The real question is whether your love for Him is genuine—and if it’s showing up in your life the way true love always does: through sacrifice.

When You Don’t Feel God’s Love

Maybe you’ve been a Christian for years but can’t remember the last time you felt God’s love. You’ve read the verses. You’ve prayed the prayers. But it’s like you’re in a spiritual drought.

The truth? Feelings aren’t the measure of His love. But there’s often a missing link when we feel disconnected from God—and it’s not that He’s holding back. It’s that our love for Him hasn’t moved from words to action.

Abiding in God’s Love Requires Sacrifice

Jesus said plainly, “If you love Me, keep My commands” (John 14:15). Love isn’t just warm feelings or goosebumps in worship—it’s obedience. And obedience requires sacrifice.

That sacrifice may look like:

• Giving up your comfort

• Laying down your need for control

• Surrendering your demand to understand everything before trusting

• Releasing opinions that don’t align with His Word

It’s the same principle in marriage—love grows deeper when it’s willing to lay self aside for the other’s good. Our relationship with Jesus is no different.

The Pearl of Great Price and God’s Love

In Matthew 13:45–46, Jesus tells of a merchant who sold all he had to buy one pearl of great value. That’s what loving God looks like—letting go of everything else so you can fully hold onto Him.

You don’t get the pearl without selling all. You don’t experience the fullness of God’s love without the surrender that real love demands.

Beyond the Honeymoon: Abiding in God’s Love Daily

Some of us have had that powerful, early experience with God—a “honeymoon” season where His presence felt constant and overwhelming. But just like in marriage, the relationship matures. The emotions may not always be intense, but the love grows deeper as it’s proven through daily, intentional sacrifice.

Surrender: The Path to Experiencing God’s Love

If you want a fresh revelation of God’s love, start here:

1. Ask Him to show you where He’s calling you to surrender.

2. Choose obedience in that area—even when it costs you.

3. Trust Him with the outcome.

When you give Him your heart in this way, you’ll discover what you can’t manufacture through feelings alone: the deep, abiding joy of walking in step with His love.

Blessings,

The Delight Your Marriage Team

PS – If you’re ready to take the next step toward real transformation in your marriage, I’d love to invite you to a free Clarity Call. It’s a safe, judgment-free space to share your story, discover what’s been holding you back, and see if our program is the right fit for you. Don’t wait—your next season of connection, joy, and hope could start today.

PPS – Here is a quote from a recent grad:
“I have daily devotions now, I practice gratitude daily now. I have more confidence and less anxiety around people or stressful situation. I feel closer to God now…what could be a bigger impact than that?”

Transcript:

Belah Rose (00:01.593)
Hello there, welcome. So this is a episode I’m recording on a Wednesday. And if you’ve been a long time listener, know Wednesdays are my days off of all electronics so I can rest and rejuvenate with Jesus. And I spent time with him this morning and it was so refreshing and so good.

And I guess I’m trying to discern if this is something I should share or I’m just going to record this for myself. So if I end up posting it, you’ll know that I felt like it was something I should share. John Piper, who I highly respect, Pastor John Piper, says, he said something like when he was asked about his prayer,

habits. You know, he talked about how Jesus says, when you fast, don’t fast like the, or pray, sorry, when you pray, don’t pray like the people who are basically praying for other people’s benefit, like just to impress other people. So he said there’s a spiritual temptation, like I could be negatively spiritually impacted.

by sharing my prayer habits is kind of how he said it. And I guess my thought though was he went ahead, like he said, there’s a spiritual danger almost like of pride and that kind of thing or him losing his reward for his spiritual disciplines. But the thing is, from my perspective, when John Piper did share his prayer habits, though he did it with a lot of…

hesitation and care not to puff himself up, it really inspired me. And every time I see a person of the Lord who’s contrite and humble and seeks God, and I see such fruit of character and wisdom and kindness and the fruit of the Spirit, they share, when they are generous enough to share,

Belah Rose (02:27.428)
their quiet life, their private life with me, it inspires me and it gives me a vision of like, my gosh, you can live like that? And so hopefully that’s my heart today. Hopefully my heart is not to puff myself up, but really is.

Belah Rose (02:52.011)
there are options to the way you live that you might not even realize are available to you. And, you know, my husband’s from another culture and that gives us so much opportunity to see things differently.

So often I’m in his culture and I’m like, what? You guys don’t think the way that I’ve always thought that was the only way to think? Like we don’t even realize whatever culture we’re coming from and you might not be coming from the United States like me or even in my area of the United States and you might like not even realize there’s a whole different way to think. And I often realize that so.

So yeah, I guess similar to John Piper, I’m just trying to…

Belah Rose (03:54.999)
It’s such an intimate moment with the Lord that I don’t want to share, but then maybe it’s what God would want me to share. we’ll see. We’ll see what happens.

Here we go.

Belah Rose (04:17.988)
I’ve been thinking a lot about self-respect. I posted something somewhat recently about men were designed for respect and God, it’s so funny, after I posted that, he’s just confirmed it in many places since then. It’s been so, so cool. And I’m sure it was even the thought process was inspired by other sources and, you know, God just kind of…

molds those things together.

Someone was talking to me about how they’ve been a Christian most of their lives, but they really don’t feel like they’ve ever felt God’s love. They feel like if they could just get there, they know all these things would fall into place, but they just haven’t felt God’s love.

And I was kind of processing that with them and just giving them some practicals. Again, with the heart of hopefully this doesn’t puff me up, but hopefully this helps them to have some just practical ideas of what you can do to go towards that in that direction. And I’m sure this person didn’t.

Belah Rose (05:43.205)
I think they had been trying a lot of the things I discussed. And so it felt to them probably like, but I still can’t get there. And those are the things I’ve tried. You know, it just felt very like a pushback, but not in a bad way, but just in a, I’ve tried that, you know, to a degree. And so I guess I was processing and praying about those things today.

And just, yeah, thinking like, Lord, I want a fresh revelation of your love. I don’t want to live in the past and be like, I know God loves me because however long ago it became so clear that he loves me. I want it to be now. I want that to happen. And I know there’s droughts and shoot, I go through them too. There are plenty of times I just show up to prayer and it’s not.

It’s not anything but discipline. It’s not anything but God’s grace that I stay there for a little while. And it doesn’t feel like anything. It feels like a punch in, punch out. It doesn’t feel like anything. But then there are those moments that he really, he just shows up. He just shows up. So here’s how it goes today. Here’s how it went today.

I was processing that and just singing to the Lord with my piano, just making up songs, basically the exact same chord progression, starting with a song I love and just from there moving into singing about anything that I know is scripturally sound, just singing to the Lord, kind of having…

seeing what themes develop. And one of the things that I’ve loved, I was listening to a guy named Pastor Mike Winger, W-I-N-G-E-R, and he answers a lot of questions. He’s got a really cool podcast. But one of the things I was listening to yesterday, he said,

Belah Rose (08:00.261)
You know, some people think the Bible was kind of almost like voted on and based on consensus, that’s why we have the Bible. And he was like, that’s not it at all. The truth of the matter is we’ve discovered what is scripture. We’ve discovered God’s word. It’s not that we voted and said, you know, however many hundreds of years ago, we were like, this is what’s going to be the word of God. No, we discovered what

books and what letters and what aspects. Yeah, what was revelation that was our discovery process that because the Holy Spirit did that, he revealed it and confirmed it and affirmed it to the body of believers involved in canonizing scripture. And I just was processing that with the Lord today of

of I want to discover who you are. I don’t want to vote on it and say, yeah, this sounds right. This is good. Let’s do it this way. No, I want to come humbly. God, would you open my eyes today? Not because I understand you, not because I can pin you down. I want to discover you rightly, correctly.

Belah Rose (09:31.107)
And this particular insight came that was just so, such a beautiful revelation, such a beautiful discovery of the Lord is when this gentleman was asking me.

You know, I just want to encounter the love of God, but I can’t. And it was this absolutely precious pearl. And you know how the Bible says, Jesus says, don’t put your pearls before swine. I guess that’s one other concern I have about sharing this with you is.

Belah Rose (10:16.473)
It just feels so tender. It just feels such a tender revelation. And again, I…

I don’t want it to be trodden underfoot. I guess if you continue, maybe one way to do it is this. If you continue listening to this episode, I invite you to have a teachable spirit and say, Lord, even right now, Lord, I ask for this one listening. If this is an insight that you want them to have, would you tenderize their heart? Would you open their heart?

receive a revelation of your love even right now? Even right now? No matter where they are, no matter how much attention they’re really paying to my voice, God, right now would you tenderize their heart and give them a curiosity? Is this a morsel? Is this a discovery you want them to receive?

of who you are, God.

Belah Rose (11:31.127)
So the Bible says it’s not we who love God first, it’s that he first loved us and he gave himself for us.

Even while we were still dead in our trespasses, he died for us.

It says it’s actually impossible to understand the depth and width and breadth and height of God’s love.

That is truth.

Belah Rose (12:14.708)
And so it’s not a question of whether or not God loves you. That’s not a question.

Belah Rose (12:29.098)
The question is whether or not you love God.

Because in John 15, it says to abide in his love. And what does abiding in his love mean? It means obeying his commands.

Jesus told Peter, if you love me.

then feed my sheep. Jesus talked to his disciples, if you love me obey my commands, do what I asked you to do. And you know what it is? This is the phrase, it’s not whether he loves me.

Belah Rose (13:14.524)
It’s whether I love him. Because here’s the truth. True love requires sacrifice.

True love requires sacrifice.

So if you are not sacrificing for your love for the Lord,

Belah Rose (13:45.202)
It’s not God’s fault that you don’t experience his love.

It’s you are not being true. When I talked about self-respect, there’s an inner knowing that your love for God is skin deep.

Belah Rose (14:07.444)
because real love requires sacrifice. So I’m gonna sing this to you because it was just bubbling up in me and I…

This is what I was doing with the Lord earlier and it may hit you a little differently as a song. It’s not weather. I love him. It’s weather.

Belah Rose (14:38.88)
Beep!

Real love takes sacrifice. Once more. It’s not whether he loves me, it’s whether or not I love him, cause real life, real love takes sacrifice. There’s well no way to know it. There’s no way to experience his love.

There’s no way to discover how much he loves you if you don’t sacrifice. It’s no way to know it. There’s no way to experience his love. There’s no way to know it without sacrifice.

It’s not whether he loves me, it’s whether or not I love him, real life, real love, takes sacrifice. There’s no way to know it. There’s no way to experience his love. There’s no way to know it.

without sacrifice what kind of sacrifice is it means your understanding of everything it means all your questions getting answered it means all your comfortable things there is sacrifice required you have to buy the field before you get the pearl

Belah Rose (16:57.258)
You have to sell all of that you have to follow Jesus rightly.

Belah Rose (17:08.816)
It’s not whether he loves me. It’s whether I love him. Cause real life in real love takes sacrifice. There is no way to know it. There’s no way to experience his love without sacrificing your comfort, your need to understand.

what you require in terms of clarifying all the things. It’s impossible. You have to sacrifice. You have to sell all that you have to buy the field, to get the pearl of great price. You cannot expect to receive the fullness of his love without sacrifice because the truth of the matter is you know inside whether or not.

You are loving him. You know if you do not sacrifice, you know it in your being. If you do not sacrifice for the love for the Lord, there is no way. It’s not a true relationship. You are not abiding because that’s not true love. True love requires sacrifice.

Belah Rose (18:34.206)
It’s not whether he loves me.

It’s not whether he loves me, it’s whether or not I love him. It’s whether or not I love him, because in real life, real love takes sacrifice. It’s also sacrificing your need for your version of morality. It’s sacrificing your need for control.

It’s sacrificing your need for understanding all the things. It’s sacrificing your requirement for having trust and peace. It’s sacrificing who you think you are. It’s sacrificing your need to be known and to have opinions about every single little thing that doesn’t really matter at all. My goodness. My goodness. I get that way too. But it’s not whether…

He loves me. It’s whether or not I love him, cause real life and real love take sacrifice.

Belah Rose (19:54.888)
I trust that if this was for you, God has shown you what he needed to show you. And if it wasn’t for you, there are other episodes that are for you, Lord, I ask you to reveal more of yourself.

Belah Rose (20:14.802)
It’s not whether you love me, you love me. It’s not whether you love this one. my. They can’t even imagine the greatness of your love for them, but they cannot experience it without sacrifice. Because it’s not a real true relationship without that. And you don’t put your pearls before swine.

Belah Rose (20:49.962)
They must, just like the parables Jesus says, it’s the pearl of great price. They sell all they have, they buy the field, they do it first. They sacrifice first before they feel all those wonderful, connecting, revelational, blah, blah, wisdom, insight, grateful, my gosh, the glory. You can’t get that first. You sacrifice first. That’s real love.

That’s real life. Just like a marriage, there is a honeymoon stage. You may have had that with the Lord already, and that’s what got you in the door. That’s what committed you, surrendered you to the Lord, which is awesome. But you can’t expect to feel the honeymoon after 20 years of marriage to Jesus. No. No.

Your relationship with Jesus requires daily sacrifice. And let me tell you, it is worth it. It’s sacrifice in your heart.

I’m not just talking about sacrifice of time. It is that. I’m not just talking about sacrifice of being less busy than everyone else. It is that. I’m not also just talking about sacrifice of goals when you’re naturally competitive. It is also that. I’m not just talking about sacrifice of…

Not saying curse words when you’re mad. It is also that I’m talking about sacrifice of of need to understand it all Sacrifice and like really trusting the Lord with all your heart and not trusting and leaning on your own understanding Do you know how small your brain is? Compared to the God of the universe My brain is also very small We can’t we can’t

Belah Rose (22:51.313)
We can’t.

he’s so good to us, my gosh.

Belah Rose (23:00.101)
Laura, do what only you can do and I invite you to…

Belah Rose (23:06.737)
invite you to encounter us, God. We want your pearls of truth. We want to be trustworthy with your pearls, God. We don’t want to be, we don’t want to take it lightly when you give us revelation. Help us to be good stewards of the revelation you give us.

Belah Rose (23:33.307)
Yeah. Well, my dear friend, thank you for joining and listening and.

Maybe this has touched you, and if not, I’m grateful I have it to go back to and listen to in case it’s probably something I need to be reminded of many times. Love you, bye.