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497-Living a Life of No Regrets in Marriage and Faith
(Previously Titled: Changing OURSELVES in Light of Eternity)

Hello, listeners! As we continue to work on recording our very first in-person trainings, we hope you will enjoy some of the re-releases from the past few years of the Delight Your Marriage podcast (It has certainly been sweet to us to re-listen and share some of our favorites with you!)

For this week, we hope you will enjoy a little bit of Christmas in the summertime as we talk about living life in light of eternity. Christmas is certainly a wonderful time to remember who Jesus is and why he is worthy of our lives, but we think a balmy day in August is a good time to remember that also.

Enjoy this re-release and we look forward to sharing some other favorite episodes with you soon!

God bless!

Marriage as Your First Assignment Before God

When we think about standing before Jesus one day, many of us imagine wanting to hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” But how often do we connect that vision with our marriages?

The truth is, God has entrusted you with a spouse—not by accident, not as an afterthought, but as a sacred assignment. Your husband or wife is your first ministry.

Loving God by Loving Your Spouse

Jesus told us the greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength—and the second is like it: to love our neighbor as ourselves.

And who is your closest neighbor? Your spouse.

No one else can encourage your spouse like you can. No one else can pray for them, serve them, or provide safety and intimacy in the same way. Your marriage is one of the clearest ways to live out your love for God.

When you choose to love your husband or wife with gentleness, patience, and sacrificial love, you are actually loving Jesus.

Integrity, Intimacy, and Safety in Your Marriage

Loving your spouse well isn’t just about words—it’s about integrity. It’s about creating true safety by guarding your heart, your eyes, and your thoughts.

It’s about saying no to distractions that cheapen your focus—whether that’s pornography, busyness, or pouring your energy into hobbies instead of your home.

When you choose discipline, integrity, and faithfulness, your spouse experiences the safety God designed marriage to provide. And intimacy—emotional, spiritual, and physical—flows from that foundation.

A Life with No Regrets

This life is short. One day, you and I will stand before Jesus. What will we be able to say about how we loved?

Did we prioritize our marriages? Did we love our spouses as Christ asked us to? Did we make sacrifices to ensure our marriages reflected His heart?

The good news is—it’s not too late. Today, you can choose to love your spouse as your first assignment before God. You can choose to realign your priorities and live with no regrets.

Your Invitation to Love God & Love Your Spouse

Your marriage is not just about you and your spouse—it’s about reflecting Jesus to the world. When you love your spouse well, you glorify God.

Take some time today to ask:

• What does it mean for me to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength?

• How can I show that love to my spouse in practical, tangible ways?

• What do I want to be true of me when I stand before Jesus?

Friend, don’t waste the life God has entrusted to you. Start with the person He’s placed right by your side. Your first neighbor.

You can do this.

 

God bless you,

 

The Delight Your Marriage Team

 

PS – If you are ready to join our Coaching Programs, we would love to chat with you! Schedule a free Clarity Call with one of our Clarity Call advisors and discover what your marriage needs to fully connected once again.

 

PPS – We are doing a pilot launch in churches this Fall! The Masculinity Reclaimed & Delighted Wife programs that you know and love are being adapted for in-person groups and we cannot wait to show them to you. If you’d like your church to be a part of our pilot program, please check out https://delightyourmarriage.com/church/

 

PPPS – Here is a quote from a recent graduate:
“We were both resentful of how we treated each other. My expectations were rarely met and I could be quite cold. My moods would overflow into my parenting and even work. After 20+ years of this I had very little hope that things could change. I was not going to leave my family, but I did seek to escape through alcohol and pornography at times… [Now,] My wife has told me she feels safe. She has begun to trust that my change is not a passing fad. I have gained understanding in how to love her well. I look forward to being around her, and to pampering her and loving her well. This has overflowed into intimacy emotionally, spiritually, and physically…I didn’t realize how much pain I was causing her, or how self focused I was. I was trying to get her to change and should have been working on me.”

 

Transcript:

Belah Rose (00:02.542)
Welcome to the Delight Your Marriage podcast. You’re joining me, Bella Rose, as I dive deep into the beauty, power, and truths about intimacy. Learn not only the practicals, but the heart behind what making love is all about. Delight your marriage.

Belah Rose (00:24.568)
Hey there and welcome. My goodness, it is almost Christmas. Thank you so much for joining. So in the trend of last week’s conversation around preparing for the new year and what God would want you to have your focus on, lots of places on the internet and airways are gonna be talking about the Christmas story. Please, please have your focus on Jesus, on Jesus.

But I want to give you this audio as you are considering who Jesus is in your life and who he wants you to change into in this coming season, whether it’s… Yeah, whether you’re a husband or a wife. However, I recorded this conversation that I had with the men’s group a couple of months ago and I wanted to share it with you.

So basically we went through what we call the life vision document and then we have another thing called prioritize your life document and we yeah, those are really important tools that we use in the programs, but I kind of go through a lot of

A lot of insights around what you want it to sound like, what you want your heart to be like when you stand before Jesus, surrounding your marriage specifically. And intimacy is a great part of marriage. If you’ve been around to light your marriage for a while, you know that, oh my gosh, it’s so important. And please, if you’re a wife listening, please, please.

Prioritize that during the holidays that because you and your husband will be so connected during that time and I’m assuming You know, the wife is is the one that that typically has the lower drive But it maybe it’s the husband that that you know, you need to make sure that you all connect during this time because The the goal is unity. The goal is being a good representation of Jesus and loving each other the way they receive love

Belah Rose (02:36.963)
unifying your marriage, approaching the holidays with family stress and all this connected, unified, rejuvenated through sexual intimacy. So I highly recommend that. But what I also want you to have a focus on if you’re a husband, and you might have heard that in that invitation that I just gave in it, and it pricks your heart because you’re, you know, just saying that thinking in your head that that’s not where you and your wife are and

My heart goes out to you.

And I want to give you a greater vision, a greater perspective, because this life is temporary. It could end tomorrow for any of us. And we want to be in that place before Jesus without any regret. We want to be in that place before Jesus, able to look confidently in his eyes and saying these things were true of me.

And so that’s what I walk you through on this conversation. decided not to, you listen to the episode, for various reasons, including just the tech challenge of it, believe it or not, I decided not to post several different episodes, like one a day. was thinking I would do like short audios, but it just, we weren’t able to pull it off. So this is instead of that. So I apologize for giving you that.

that hope and not being able to deliver on it. I did want to give you not only a peek inside of our programs, but also just really the heart around it. So it’s kind of meditative. Hopefully it really puts your heart in the right zone as you approach Christmas. Recognizing that this God of the universe of everything we’ve ever seen became a human.

Belah Rose (04:35.824)
condescended all the way to be a little baby, dependent on his mother and his father. For you and for me.

It’s astounding. So let us respond to that love and that sacrifice by living a life worthy of his calling.

Belah Rose (05:09.604)
Just a deep breath and slow out.

Belah Rose (05:20.472)
a deep breath, and slowly out.

Belah Rose (05:30.04)
One last time, deep breath in.

and a slow breath out.

Belah Rose (05:45.732)
when I stand before my beloved.

I want to confidently look at my Savior and say,

Belah Rose (05:59.338)
I spent my life.

on what I searched out.

and discovered you desired.

Belah Rose (06:16.128)
I aimed to walk worthy of your calling.

Belah Rose (06:28.324)
I loved mercy.

Belah Rose (06:35.363)
I acted justly.

Belah Rose (06:42.104)
And I walked humbly.

Belah Rose (06:49.22)
with you.

Belah Rose (06:56.674)
I know you.

Belah Rose (07:01.09)
And I love you.

Belah Rose (07:05.658)
But it is so good to see you, my friend.

Belah Rose (07:22.414)
I loved you with all my heart.

Belah Rose (07:27.876)
That means my desires.

my passions.

Belah Rose (07:37.336)
My attitude.

Belah Rose (07:42.702)
my perspectives.

Belah Rose (07:50.808)
I loved you with all of my soul.

Belah Rose (07:57.96)
all of my personality.

Belah Rose (08:03.333)
everything I think about myself.

Belah Rose (08:10.62)
My identity.

Belah Rose (08:18.567)
My interests.

Belah Rose (08:25.873)
I loved you with all of my mind.

Belah Rose (08:32.499)
That means my thoughts. It means what I allowed into my thought life.

It means what I spent my eyes watching.

and consuming and dumping into my mind.

I loved you.

Belah Rose (08:59.387)
I refused to meditate on what was not right. Because I loved you with my mind.

Belah Rose (09:20.154)
I you with all of my strength.

Belah Rose (09:26.545)
All of my effort, my body.

habits, my routines.

my capabilities, my capacities.

The skills and strengths you’ve given me, I loved you with them.

Belah Rose (09:54.277)
I ran after you.

Belah Rose (10:00.187)
I said no to the lesser than so that I could say yes to you. I was courageous.

I was courageous. When everyone else was silent, I stood up and spoke because it was required. It was important. Because I loved you with all my strength.

Belah Rose (10:28.113)
And at the end of the day, I wasn’t looking for applause.

Belah Rose (10:34.533)
I wanted to impress you. Not because you require being impressed, but because I just wanted to make you smile.

Belah Rose (10:51.699)
I just wanted to hear well done. Well done my son. Look at you go. Look at you go. Look at you go well.

Belah Rose (11:05.707)
and faithful, faithful in the times that nobody’s watching, faithful in the times that nobody sees, faithful in your heart, faithful in your attitude, faithful in dying to yourself again and again and again and again.

You were a faithful servant.

Belah Rose (11:35.719)
You did it for me.

Belah Rose (11:51.443)
And when I stand before my beloved, I want it to be true of me that I loved my neighbor as myself.

Belah Rose (12:05.373)
Who is my neighbor?

Who is my neighbor? Every one of those around me are image bearers of God.

Belah Rose (12:29.159)
and there were certain ones in my assignment.

Belah Rose (12:34.673)
And I discerned exactly who that was.

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was my wife. Oh, I knew it. No questions there. She is my first assignment. And I studied her. I studied her.

No one’s gonna love her like I love her. No one’s gonna pray for her like I prayed for her. No one encouraged her like I encouraged her. No one spoke into her life like I spoke into her life. No one had the kindness that I showed her.

No one had the gentleness that I was with her.

Belah Rose (13:30.085)
No one had the safety.

Belah Rose (13:35.397)
No one had the safety.

Belah Rose (13:41.085)
that I provided for her.

Belah Rose (13:50.277)
It had nothing to do with whether or not she could deserve or earn or create whatever. It’s because I did this for you, Jesus. You told me to, and this is my assignment.

Belah Rose (14:17.753)
I knew that she could not be safe if my eyes were elsewhere. If my mind was elsewhere, it’s not true safety.

And so I disciplined, I disciplined what brought upon my path. I disciplined, I was violent with my boundaries so that I could be safe for the first human assignment you gave me. I was disciplined. no one, no one knows how disciplined I was.

Belah Rose (15:01.849)
I made sacrifices because I knew, I knew I could get it wrong. I knew, I knew I was too weak. So I made super crazy big sacrifices so that I wouldn’t.

be found untrustworthy.

Belah Rose (15:30.257)
It’s okay that I was weak. A thorn in my flesh is not something to be ashamed of, but not acknowledging, accepting, and providing boundaries around a thorn in the flesh. That is not acceptable.

That is not appropriate.

Belah Rose (15:49.287)
but accepting the thorn and discerning how, to get free. Now that’s right. And that’s, that’s commendable.

That’s commendable.

Confessing to other brothers who get it. yeah God I got humiliated because I had to say it over and over and over again till I got free Until I got free

And I had to say it when it was in my mind, and I just had to, because I got humiliated, but you know what? It was worth it, because I was still safe for my wife. I was actually safe. I didn’t have to look at her in the eyes and know.

Belah Rose (16:38.181)
she could actually trust me. And I was actually safe.

And when I told her I was sorry for anything and everything, I meant it. And when I listened to her, I wasn’t pretending because her heart matters and it matters more than my work. It matters more than my pursuits. It matters more than my hobbies. She is my first human assignment.

Belah Rose (17:09.073)
And Lord, I thank you that because you gave me the woman that you gave me, you gave me a woman who is in the very nature and image of you.

It caused me to become.

A better man.

Belah Rose (17:35.709)
couldn’t have gotten there if you hadn’t have given me my wife.

and I didn’t love her the way that she received love. I could not have gotten.

to be the man that I am today standing before you, Jesus, with joy, without regret, because you gave me that woman and I died to myself to love her the way she receives love.

Belah Rose (18:07.909)
I couldn’t have gotten there. Thank you for giving me exactly her.

Belah Rose (18:16.797)
She was the right one. You were wise for giving me her.

Belah Rose (18:25.371)
I could never have become this man if you hadn’t have chosen her for me. Lord, you knew. You knew. And now here I am entering into the joy of my master.

Belah Rose (18:46.419)
every struggle, every suffering. It is a joy.

It was a joy, Jesus, to suffer even just a drop of what you suffered day in and day out. What a joy, what a gift, what a grace to call me worthy to suffer for you, Jesus.

Belah Rose (19:16.541)
Thank you. Thank you for the opportunity to change myself.

to love my wife well.

What a gift.

What a gift you gave me.

Belah Rose (19:42.429)
You did not have to give me the opportunity to stand up. You didn’t have to say, want you.

You don’t have to choose me.

Belah Rose (20:00.881)
before the foundations of the earth were laid. You chose me. You didn’t have to do that.

And I will not squander. I am so grateful I didn’t squander this life. I didn’t squander my time on stupid television. I didn’t squander it, God. Thank you for the grace to see my error before it was too late. And I squandered it all. Thank you that I had time to repent of putting my time on things that were worthless and useless and unhelpful to the kingdom. In fact, harmful to the kingdom and harmful to my wife.

harmful to my kids.

Thank you God that I have time to repent, that you gave me time to repent. Thank you God.

Belah Rose (20:52.657)
You didn’t have to!

You didn’t have to show me my sin so clearly before it was too late.

Belah Rose (21:04.177)
And now I have another choice, another chance, another opportunity. Thank you, God.

Belah Rose (21:13.287)
Thank you God.

Belah Rose (21:19.719)
Thank you, Jesus, for being the example. I’m not here without a role model.

I’m not here without somebody who’s done it before me even though he was tempted exactly the way I am. Exactly the way I am.

He was tempted and yet the Holy Spirit is in me and gives me grace. He always gives me a way of escape. Always. Always. Thank you God for that.

Belah Rose (21:56.317)
Thank you God for community of men that care about me. Thank you God for brothers that have prayed for me and love me. And if I just get the courage to say what I need to say, they will help me.

Belah Rose (22:14.183)
I’m not gonna hide anymore. I’m not gonna decide my insecurity is more important than your will.

Belah Rose (22:26.077)
I’m just not gonna do it. I’ve just, I’ve done that for too long.

Belah Rose (22:35.921)
I’m not gonna crowd out uncomfortable thoughts or uncomfortable feelings with work because that makes me feel better.

I’m not gonna distract myself away from what’s most important. Because I just wanna veg out.

Belah Rose (22:57.649)
I’m gonna say no to the good so I can say yes.

to your will.

Belah Rose (23:20.871)
Jesus, you are so kind to us. You are so kind to us, Jesus.

You are so kind.

Belah Rose (23:33.627)
You are so kind.

You are so gracious with us. You are so gentle.

And yet you are not done. You are not done with us. And you ask us to go a step further. Based on love, based on our acceptance into your family already. But why not come another step? Why not do it another step forward? Why not really embrace all of his will for us?

Not because we have to or he’s disappointed or blah blah blah, but because golly, we love him!

Belah Rose (24:36.635)
It has to be done in our hearts, guys.

Belah Rose (24:42.471)
We should not say a word to anyone else unless our hearts.

We’ve got to get our hearts. Yes, I’m making mistakes too. Yes, I am. But we don’t lower our standards because of our mistakes. We don’t decide the Bible doesn’t tell us to do these things because we’re going to fail at it. No, we just get to trust His grace and we get to trust that His sacrifice is enough for our sins.

that when God came down and he died on the cross for you, it was enough to pay for the sin you did yesterday or this morning or this afternoon. You get to trust that’s enough and you get to jump on that giant delete button and it’s done. And now you look at that Bible with fresh eyes, with white robes on, you say, what’s next daddy?

Where do you want next? What’s the next thing? Show me today.

Belah Rose (25:54.225)
and I’m gonna have peace and joy in the midst.

Belah Rose (26:18.141)
You guys are all muted. Can you,

Can you just tell Jesus that you love them?

Belah Rose (26:30.257)
With your mouth. I love you, Jesus.

Belah Rose (26:40.295)
I just want you to know that I love you. And I’m doing it for you. I’m not doing it for anyone else. I’m not doing it for my spouse or my kids or blah, blah, blah. I wanna do this for you.

I want to do it the right way for you, Jesus, because I love you.

Belah Rose (27:04.774)
I love you.

Belah Rose (27:22.941)
So gentlemen.

Belah Rose (27:26.779)
the next document that you may remember.

It’s in the, it’s in a bonus. I can tag it for you later.

It’s called Prioritize Your Life Correctly.

Belah Rose (27:43.099)
And this is the second most important document.

Because now it takes the life vision.

and it means how do you walk it out.

How are you walking out?

so that you leave this call.

Belah Rose (28:02.833)
and you don’t just go right back to everything else that we go back to, that I go back to. How do we take this moment and live it? How do we change our priorities? How do we cancel commitments that are nonsense? How do we stop doing the stupid behavior that we have done over and

Belah Rose (28:30.319)
say we, I mean I, I think there’s more of us that have done it as well.

Belah Rose (28:40.423)
So.

I would love for you to do this. Prioritize your life correctly. Document. I’d love for you to do it this weekend. It will take a little bit of time.

but I don’t want you getting to Jesus and regretting how you spent the life he gave you. so I’m going to invite you to, to spend the time on it.

Belah Rose (29:21.213)
So there’s a whole teaching that tells you how to do it. I’ll do channel chat, everyone. And then I’ll give you the recording. I did this over this week. it just realigns you. It just changes your focus. Just like, God, how good I have gotten so off track. Help me, Jesus.

So I just invite all of you to do that. To let this change you. To let this be a transformational call. Transformational weekend.

Belah Rose (30:13.617)
Well, I really appreciate you listening in to one of our calls. God is so kind. He’s so good to us. Let us respond to the whole message of Christmas by leading a life that reflects our love, our infatuation with God, our obsession, our delight, our love for the Lord.

And that’s what fuels our love for our spouse, our love for our kids, our love for our neighbors, our work people, our friends, our family, all of it, our ministry.

Belah Rose (30:57.981)
All right, well, God bless you. Thank you so much for, um, yeah, all of the support, the encouragement, the, the love that you’ve shared with Delight Your Marriage over the year 2023. Thank you. I pray that you would just have a wonderful Christmas. We were just praying for all of our folks just a little bit ago that Christmas would be a time of connection. It’d be a time of peace and unification.

fueled by your love for Jesus. All right, God bless you. Have a wonderful, wonderful Christmas. I’ll see you in the new year.