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Intimacy Instructions and A Challenge For YouHi there, Belah here. Today is a BONUS (Friday) episode: Part III of Annie Lobert, hookersforjesus.net, and she shares her best intimacy tips for husbands and wives! Tips for how you can turn on your wife tonight. And for the ladies: how you can understand your husband at a whole other level! The underlines the truth that there is hope for your marriage. And I deliver a challenge at the end that I hope you and your spouse pays attention to. I believe God wants to do some incredible things in your marriage and this world. Listen in!

Check out the first parts of powerful interview is:

Scriptures:

  • Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Heb 13:4
  • Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Rom 12:21
  • In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry Eph 4:21
  • For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matt 6:21
  • From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and the violent take it by force. Matt 11:12

We have to be surrendered to Christ in our marriages. -Annie Lobert, Hookers For JesusYou’ll Discover:

  • What a man can do to turn on his wife
  • What a wife can do to serve her husband that is honorable and holy in marriage
  • How dancing does more for your wife than you may have believed
  • What a couple can do to move past a porn addiction
  • How to keep the fire alive from a wife’s perspective
  • What a husband can do to change his thought life
  • Understanding a husband’s greatest needs
  • The Dignity Challenge defined

Resources Mentioned (clickable images):

    • Fallen: Out of the Sex Industry & Into the Arms of the Savior
    • (Audio Book) Fallen: Out of the Sex Industry & Into the Arms of the Savior
    • The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
    • Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs

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Other Resources to help understand and end the addiction to pornography:

Tweetables:

  • We have to be surrendered to Christ in our marriages.
  • When we are mad at eachother we get it out immediately.
  • In our marriage, we overcome evil with good.
  • On purpose from the very beginning we schedule a date night.
  • When you love someone, you love everything about them.
  • Don’t try to change your partner. God is the one who changes people.
  • We are attracted to free will.
  • When we talk about family values, the family came about through sex…it’s a family value!
  • You can influence someone but you can’t force someone to change.

Dignity Challenge

Challenge links:

For men: Delightyourmarriage.com/dignity

For women: Delightyourmarriage.com/webinar

Thanks for listening! I hope you are encouraged to live in wholehearted intimacy!

 

Love,

Belah

—

 

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Transcript

0:00
delight your marriage episode 24.

0:04
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host belah. Rose.

0:20
Hi, there, this is belah. Thank you so much for joining me for the third and final part of this amazing interview. I’ve got Annie lo bird, if you haven’t listened to part one, and two, I really encourage it. That’s episode 22 and 23. And this is 24. So you can all find that linked up at delight your marriage.com/ 24 It’ll all be there. But I’m just going to dive in. I’ve got a really important message at the very end of this podcast. So I really want you to listen to the end. It’s so powerful. She talks about intimacy tips specifically for wives as well as for husbands if you want to get inside your wife’s head and really understand how to get things moving in the right direction in your marriage. This is just so great.

1:13
So good. So good. And I want to kind of circle back to something you mentioned before. So a man Okay, so he’s he’s understanding his sin. He’s understanding God’s forgiveness. Let’s say he’s married. And he’s like, but I’m not getting anything at home. What do you mean, I have to stop? This is my only release. What I mean? What can what can he do?

1:34
What can he do? Well, first of all, that sounds pretty arrogant. Bella, doesn’t it? Yep. I would call him out and say, Well, maybe you need to work on the communication problem in your marriage, because clearly there is one. Your wife, okay, see, if a wife is not communicating properly to her husband in a sexual way. There is a disconnect, we are emotional creatures, I would suggest that they read The Five Love Languages. And then we would also read the great book called Love and respect. Seven the word love your wives, husbands, and, and wives respect your husbands. That is one of the keys. And I think that maybe the reason why she might be pushing you away. I know with me, if my husband doesn’t here’s how I get turned on. Bella, here’s one of my secrets. Thank you. If my husband pays full attention to me, and we talk and friends and we talk about our day that happened. He takes me out to a movie. We’re just laughing and joking. And we’re talking about our relationship with God with each other. We’re talking about the kids. Our family. We’re just having this beautiful friendship conversation about life. Yeah, you can get me in bed.

2:52
I’m telling you, guy, two hours of that and we’re gone.

2:56
So serious. You could start you can start hugging me. He starts looking into my eyes. The flower is ready. That’s where all the depth for it and see. To know this. Your wife is an emotional relational. Talking beautiful creature. She wants conversation. Yes. And she wants you to touch her not in a sexual way. That’s right. A warm up to her first. She wants you you know, sometimes dancing does it for me. You take me dancing. I’m ready.

3:32
Oh, yes, exactly. I asked my husband all the time. If we can take dance lessons together and he has no idea why. I hope he’ll be like, Oh, that’s it. Okay.

3:41
The meaning of the man in the dance. It’s eating of him to twirl you around and to invite you into hugging and throwing you back out to make you become the The beautiful thing picture perfect princess in his arms. It’s like It’s so romantic. And men, you might not understand this, but we love it. We love it. Right? We feel protected. We feel celebrated. We feel beautiful. We feel honored. Yeah, we feel like we’re special enough for you to spend enough time to display us as That’s right. That’s right.

4:16
And then we’re in this safe spot. And we’re like, Okay, well, of course, I’d be interested in embracing you in all the other ways and physical sexuality. I would love to embrace all of those places because I feel so loved and cherished. But if you miss if you miss those steps, she’s gonna feel like a piece of meat and no one wants to feel like that, man. No one knows.

4:37
Yet my husband knows that. Like, you know, once in a while when we’re joking. We were joking around and we’re in a rush. And in fact, yesterday was one of those days but i i basically served my husband if you can figure that out. I was letting her go and he was like, oh, and that was like I felt bad for him. So I just did the duty. I was like okay, money. Check it out. minutes. Let’s go like that. Sometimes you have to is a bit ladies, three, whatever desires going on because men are men. And the thing is, is that their hormone levels are different than ours, and he has a need. And it’s maybe it might seem selfish to you, but if he’s gentle about it, why not help me now? Why not? Why not just do it? If you get enjoyment or not, who cares? You’re certainly your husband. Yes, you can have enjoyment when there’s more time. But the thing is, I don’t mind giving him what he needs. That’s right. It doesn’t mean I’m a doormat. I just want to make him happy. What is love do? What is love, too? There’s times when it’s like my turn, I’m like, me, I’m ready. And he’s like, Oh, my gosh, I’m tired. But yet, he always beats me. So why can’t you do that for him? That’s right. Love on him. That’s right, that, you know, right?

5:51
Yes, exactly. I love because that’s exactly what I was going to ask you. Because, you know, a woman being so hurt by a possible by her husband’s porn addiction, you know, she’s like, Well, how could I even you know, how could I even touch him? Or get close to him? If he’s watching that kind of stuff? I mean, what would you say to her?

6:08
Well, I would definitely make sure there’s peace between you before you decide to go back into an intimate way inside the bed. And make sure there’s an understanding and that there’s some prayer and wondering to God from him. That’s, you know, obviously, he’s in a good counselor with a good counselor, and he is getting what he needs. And sometimes the counselors are some great counselors out there, and some of them are online. Because yeah, a lot of people don’t specialize in sexual relations. There’s not a lot of experts out there that are actually biblical. You don’t want someone that’s gonna say, oh, yeah, three partners in the bedroom. Here’s why it’s not great. Because that other relationships could eventually be someone that the other partner leaves the other partner for. That’s right. I’ve seen it happen. It’s all innocent, brought in that extra person, we brought on the extra two people, the swingers, whatever it was, but eventually, there becomes this bond. And now the original intimacy that was between the husband and wife gets broken up, because there’s, oh, well, you may be mad, so I’m going to call so and so we’re gonna have sex by ourselves. And that’s why those type of relationships are not good. That’s right.

7:17
So I mean, here’s the thing. I think that a lot of times, wives, they get this in their mind, well, he wants porn or he wants, you know, to have sex outside of the marriage. You know, I don’t have that desire. Why can’t you restrain yourself? Like, I like sex, too. But why can’t you stop yourself? When I’m stopping myself? I haven’t had sex for six months, why is it a problem for you to not? Does that make sense? Especially we point to the Bible and say, look at all these places, it says don’t have adultery, don’t have adultery.

7:45
What would you respond to her? If she’s saying that to him, you know, I would try to explain to her that men are different than we are when it comes to the hormone levels, and the way that they’re driven and their brain thinks and to give him some grace and some time to work it out. It’s not just a switch, you can switch off physically, it’s it’s really hard for a man I mean, my husband, I mean, we know men, when they wake up in the morning, we all understand what that looks like. Right? That they wake up like that. They wait. We don’t know what their dream was, but it

8:24
will, I’ll tell you it and even it’s helpful for us to understand that that’s actually totally physical. It actually, it’s something that the body does in order to clean his member by the blood has to go in there all the time. Because, you know, I mean, an average man, living erections a day is to clean things up. It’s not because

8:45
I’m gonna ask him, baby, is that true?

8:47
Yeah, I mean, literally, he can brush up there’s four reasons why they might get an erection, you know, against a trash can and get an erection, but it has nothing to do with a sexual but once you have an erection, you want to use it. So all of a sudden, now he’s thinking about what can I do with this? Yeah, no, that’s good. But

9:06
rotable Bella, great insight grey.

9:10
Yeah, yeah, well, I’ve written I’ve written a book about it, and and of course, as well, and so I think it’s important for us to fully understand our husbands member because without that understanding, I mean, honestly, even as a mom, I’ve got two little boys. They’re not anywhere near to what but sometimes I’ll change their diaper and I’m like, wow, okay. All right. That’s what that’s what’s happened and that I mean, that happens when they’re babies. Ladies that happens when they’re babies. God made it that way. And this is the thing that I just want to cry about. When I think about it. It’s like the marriage bed

9:39
is holy. Yes. Yes, I agree.

9:44
Who you You’re awesome.

9:49
Man, the thing is, we need to have some compassion. We have such a society that is so sex driven a culture that is becoming a small Like, as far as connection wise, there’s social media, we have more images being presented to us sexual images. I record to date every day more. That’s pop up. And you won’t even have to call a lot of websites nowadays, even pornography, if a girl’s half naked, oh, that’s not pornography anymore? And how do we? How do we stop what’s going on? We Yeah, what we can do, though, is encourage a safe place for these men. That’s right, and the men that are addicted to cause that’s really an Unwrap not just their physical, you know, ailments within their body that keep them in this heightened state, when they’re in a sort of state with testosterone levels. But I think that, to try to teach them and help them learn how to have self control, yeah, you know, and, and to consecrate themselves to God. And it’s, it’s maybe we can help out as wives by Hey, baby, every time that you get a little bit, you know, come on, let me just drop whatever I’m doing to handle it with you. That’s really it. It’s not worth it. Why not? Why not? How do you know that your relationship won’t go to a brand new level of service towards you? As it’s one? That’s right. Maybe I want that house done. You got it. A baby that car like or that jewelry? Hey, that ring? What if he says or you say to him, Hey, baby, the roof is leaking? You know, can you get it fixed? And he just immediately drops whatever he can and he just served you? What about the end of your life? sick in bed with cancer, or a midlife crisis? You get cancer? And is waiting on you hand and foot? Yes, he never forgot that you dropped everything. make him happy. And again, not an abusive way where he forces you to hurt you. But he’s enjoying it, and he is relieved, and you are absolutely, you know, knowing not every time you enjoy it, but you’re just doing it as a favor, that he never forgets that. And he remembers, you know, and so I just want to really just drive that home. I think men have gotten a lot of bad rap for having these pornography addictions. And I think that we need to give them the grace and the love of Christ. And you know, as far as adultery, you know, there’s a solution for that. And it’s the love of God. Amen. You know, and there’s even great marriage retreats that a husband and wife can go on. Yeah, you know, that I encourage all of you to look up and, and get through with the right people. I’m sure Bella, you know, some great ones. But yeah, get there really? Yeah. And then there’s, there’s also, I believe there’s still to this day, I’ve heard of porn addiction camps, where people that are addicted to porn, go to these camps to get released from it. And they have no social media and computer for 30 days to try to break that habit.

13:10
That’s awesome. I’m going to look up that and find the sources get in contact with people that I feel like I can trust so that people will have these resources. That’s awesome.

13:18
And I think the the last point is, is that I think in our churches, the pastors, I think we need to talk about sex a lot more than

13:26
then God talks about it. Darn it.

13:30
That’s how did. Paula, how did we get

13:34
here? Yes, exactly. Exactly. Family Values. Well, a family is created through sex, honestly. Oh, I love it. Oh, my gosh, we could talk all day. Okay, well, I want to run through these these. I feel like I have to run through these last questions, because I know you got limited time, but I just so appreciate it. Um, okay, so let’s, what are the chief three things if you could dumb it down that are central to your marital success?

14:01
For us? And I? Oh, gosh, I would say I would say our surrendering to Christ, the first thing, both surrender completely. We know exactly what God wants from each of us as husband and wife. No, we’re not perfect. I wouldn’t say exactly. But we know so far what he wants from us. And then I would say the other thing is communication. We keep our communication open. If I’m having a problem, I go to him and say, Hey, I’m having a problem with this. I’m having a problem with you or you irritated me or you offended me. We let it out immediately and discuss it. We don’t try to hold it back for 10 days and say well, I was mad at you 10 days. In other words, we do zoo the scripture we do the scriptural word thing Wednesday, says that do not let the sun go down on your anger. We oh we also believe in Romans 1221 We overcome evil with good if if I’m feeling towards my husband and I’m irritated and I don’t want to forgive them I go ahead and be good to him anyway. Yes, because I know that always wants him back to me no matter what I do. And then I would say the third thing is date night. That the date night we make sure it happens. And that is so important is our busy schedules with both families and my husband’s a rock star. He is always playing somewhere across the country. And of course what I do a nonprofit leader, I nonprofit president and running a sex trafficking nonprofit, it’s like I am so busy girl and so we have to balance our lives and we have to make sure that we make time for each other. I discussed it with him this morning. I’m like Babe, what do you see us having a struggle with he goes any? He’s like finding time for each other. And so we have purpose. You know, we’ve on purpose from the very beginning. We pick one night a week we have date night we go to a movie, we go eat dinner, and we just talk to so you know it’s a good thing i Exactly.

15:59
There you go. See husbands you’re like, oh, date night, but but let’s

16:04
get some tail. I’m not trying to make a song. Okay, we love to go with the Knights. We love the princess thing. Come on. Just be one day. Come on.

16:16
Oh, my gosh, you’re right. Okay, that’s awesome. I love that. And with your busy schedules, what do you do? Do you planning in advance? Or do you try to do once a week? Or how do you kind of do it?

16:24
We do it at least once a week. And we also do getaways? I mean, just we’re getting ready to have a vacation. We’re going to an island and he has a quick. And after the gig. I said, Can we stay a couple extra days and just spend time with each other? And he was like, Sure. So yes, purposefully making plans is very important. If you don’t plan it, it’s probably not going to happen. That’s right. But that’s really, really important that you set aside. When you have vacation. If you can have without the kids, by the way, okay, find some mom and grandma and grandpa, aunts and Uncle friends. Watch the kids, church friends, get a sabbatical between you and him to go back to why you first got married. Go back to those roots. What attracted you? Let’s discuss it, baby. What did I do when you first met me that you just love that turn you on and assess those things. And you’ll have a place to experience those things again, because now you’re with friends and family. You’re in an exotic location somewhere, or maybe not so exotic. Maybe you’re in the woods somewhere up again. I don’t know.

17:31
Pick your hotel down the street, whatever. Just leave

17:34
it, play it, play the fantasy role and make it happen. It’s very important that you keep that fire going.

17:42
Awesome. That’s so good. Well, it leads me to my next question. We talked about sex a lot so far. But could you give an advice or tip about intimacy that a wife could even implement tonight?

17:51
Get some cute sexy hot lingerie? Yeah, it might sound sexist for some to hear this. But guys love it. Yeah, they love when you look sexy, curvy, inviting, like it invites them. It’s like a flower. It invites the beats of the flower, dress it up a little bit. Put some makeup on, get your hair done, but your little outfit on and prance around the room with heels if you want something men love that. And you know, and that’s why sex is so sacred and why it doesn’t need to be publicized. Because there’s something between you and your partner. You don’t need to feel like you’re, you know, weird or, or oh my gosh, well, I’m fat. Listen, your husband loves every single ounce of you, honey. That’s right. Okay. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had kids. Right? He married you for a reason. Don’t be insecure girl. Okay, that’s right. It’s okay to be sexy in your relationship. It’s okay. To seduce your husband. I mean, he’s your husband. Yes,

18:58
that’s right. Yeah, no, I mean, we could go on and on. So good. Okay, so tell me. So basically, the issues that you all brought into your marriage, how is God used that transform that into redeeming and using it for His glory?

19:11
You know, I think that personally, I had to learn how to love my husband with all the bad habits. Yeah, that I have. And then he has together as a union and I think that for ministry wise what I can share with the ladies that I ministered to and other people out there that hear me speak is the fact that that a god they love when you love someone, you love everything about them. You look at them with God’s eyes, and you need to just sometimes just accept them. You can’t change them. Don’t try to change your partner. Try to change your friend. Don’t try to change. Whoever’s around you let God do that work. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job. We can catch anyone we want so catching a fish. You know God is the one that cleans them change them is it spells out frustration? And ultimately, if they did change, would you love them more? Come on, would you? Because now you have a puppet? We’re gross. Who Free Will we’re attracted to someone’s independence in free? Well, that’s right. You know what I mean? Like, you have someone that’s doing something bad. Let’s just say it’s a drug addiction. Yep. If you have forced them to change, yeah. When you’re gone? Are they going to go back that’s right about this. Let them choose to change. That way that trust is built there. And you know that I’m going to go back because they did

20:42
it on their own. Oh, my gosh, you’re so good. You could influence them,

20:45
of course, but don’t force them. Let’s go seek it out. Just like the porn addiction. You have for someone to change, you definitely give them you know ultimatums and say, Look, if we’ve already went around round and round around for a couple years now with this porn addiction. It’s obvious you’re not changing, I’m going to have to separate myself. That’s right. You have to go by wherever every situation is different. We’re not, we’re not all puppets, you’re, we’re not all perfect in between each other. We’re not all the exact same duplicates. So every situation, every relationship is different. But just just just know that. God sees that and he will speak to you and tell you exactly what you need to do.

21:26
Yeah, no, that’s so good. And that’s something I’ve even literally just weeks ago, I struggled with as I was like, you know, every time there’d be some scantily clad woman on the TV, I’d like change it right away. Like, so my husband doesn’t see that what sexy woman and, and he was like, Honey, you know, if it just makes me want to look more like, you know, what do you what do you want? I’m not I’m not looking like, here’s the thing. One thing he’s kind of teaching me is that, you know, because I now I’m like hypersensitive. But but you know, if a sexy lady is walking down the street, it’s the man’s choice, whether he’s going to lust after her or not, yes, there’s a temptation to lust after her because she’s walking down the street, she’s, she’s got certain clothes on or whatever, but it’s his choice, whether he’s going to lust or not. So just like Annie saying, you can’t change, but you can pray and you can do the good work that you can do within your marriage to help him to help him. So okay, so I, I really wanted to go deeper into your book. So please let us know about your book, and where they can access it. And what is it about?

22:23
Sure. So especially this is for the men out there, I’d like you to read this and dad, fathers and and of course, the ladies, if you want to understand the mind of someone that got into prostitution, or you know, that didn’t really want to but ended up becoming a sex trafficking victim, this book is definitely for you. Also, if you’re you’re prejudiced towards that, like, oh, a sex worker owl like listened, open your mind. Jesus hung out with girls like us, okay? Check this out. his relatives, his relatives had passed Rahab. Tomorrow, they were both prostitutes. So my book is called Fallon out of the sex industry and into the arms of the Savior. I have had so many people tell me they sit down, not to break belts is not on these. It’s God’s story. They one day they read it in a half a day. They’re just blown away. And then they’re like, I couldn’t put it down, I cried. Because in the book, I talk about my love that I was searching for the ultimate love that I found. And I finally found my pearl. My Pearl was Jesus Christ. But then it also talks about my relationship with my husband, and how that all wrapped up into finally being completed in Christ. And again, it’s really important that people understand and recognize that a lot of the victims of sex trafficking are just looking for love. And the devil has abused that and he has abused sex. He has abused the selling of sex as a perversion and a coercion to get them to do it because he, he promises, the devil promises the girls of the happy ending, which never really happens. That’s what’s so I encourage you to get that it’s on. It’s at Barnes and Nobles. It’s at Lifeway books, it’s also at family Christian bookstore, and also online on Amazon, eBay on christianbook.com. It’s on a bunch of different sites, and I’ll have

24:16
the links. I’ll have the links on the on the show. Awesome. You know what,

24:18
it’s my redemptive story and it’s, it’s, I’m really proud of it. I was. I waited eight years to get this published, Bella, nobody would take it because are you kidding? Wasn’t the time? No. And I finally got worthy Publishing’s awesome Byron Williamson. He was seven years president of Thomas Nelson and he took notes on us and I’m so pleasantly surprised and blessed at the same time. I’m finally seeing breakthrough for girls that are survivors like me. That’s right. They need No, honestly no Christian publisher would touch it for years. Neither said that I was too evangelical. And then the you know, the Christian publishers told me Oh, Yeah, you’re too evangelical. Both sides.

25:05
I’m so proud of you and proud of you that you persisted. Praise God. No,

25:10
I waited and I didn’t push. I had a great. Oh my gosh, great. Partner, AJ Gregory. She’s amazing. She helped me map out my story. She was incredible. And then of course, my oh my gosh, Esther fed coverage. The Fed agency. I can’t say enough about her. She’s incredible. She’s a woman, and she got the book deal.

25:31
Well, tell me why did you say that you want daddies and husbands to read this.

25:35
Because I want dads to make sure that they show their little girls love so they don’t reach out to love. Oh, you know, if I know my mom loved me, I knew that completely. But I didn’t know my father loved me, and peace that you’re not giving her she’ll look for the rest of her life. Oh my gosh, and many times, very disastrous. You know, circumstances will happen because of that. Because she doesn’t know what real love looks like. If you can show her what real love looks like, she won’t have to search for it. She’ll do something else great in her life, which will probably be changing the world. Mind focus on something else loving. She feels like so you can’t come. You can’t love others if you don’t have love yourself. So for her to be a woman you can push her out there to be she’s got to know who she is. She’s got a love of self. And that is who she knows who she is in God’s love. So and that’s, and the reason why I say for a husband, to for men that are with women that are former to excuse women that have passed kind of like you, Bella women that have been in the sex industry, for women that you know that maybe having a little bit, you know, they might call slutty, or whatever, they have kind of a crazy reputation that you’ve now obtained because you’ve got engaged or you’re getting ready to marry or you’ve married her. I want you to read this book, because I want you to understand how to handle your treasure that you have. This woman needs to be respected and loved and understood and need be very patient with her very, because my husband’s like that with me and it has healed me to another degree of love. It really has the way that husband treats me. That’s right. Don’t hold her past against her. Right Thought bringing up the old abortion stop bringing up passwords. Stop being jealous. You need to read this book.

27:22
Oh my gosh, oh, I can’t wait. I’m so excited. Okay. The other thing I want to mention is like the the purchase of this book, maybe it’s at the most 20 bucks or whatever. This is also just how publishing works, FYI. And he gets a very small portion of that. But the point is, think about what you’re supporting. When you’re buying a book like this. You’re supporting the ministry that she’s doing that is vital. Yeah. If you think of how many billions of people are addicted to pornography, and there’s a woman on the other side of that screen. That’s what Annie’s helping. She’s supporting, getting that turned around. So if you can buy her book, buy 20 of her books, buy it for your entire women’s ministry at your church. Buy it for you the Men’s Ministry, no Bible, yet this doing a Bible study. Oh my gosh, that’s a great idea. That would be

28:06
cool. If the men did a Bible study, I think it would actually make them have so much compassion for the women that are in the industry and women that are promiscuous that come into the church. We all know that women dress happily. You know they dress they dress very sexy, man. They’re supposed to be home wreckers listen to those women to stop judging them. Okay? Ladies, I’m asking you to please give us a chance. Let us come into churches. We need God’s love just like you need it. And we need and since you’ve been there longer, we need you to show us how to live a better life. Okay, that’s really to guide us we need you to be our mentors. That’s right.

28:46
Yeah, I just love this okay, pastors by the book, get it get it in your church and the oh, what I was gonna say is that you know, if you’re not embracing the message that Annie shares openly I want you to know that your members are embracing the sin in private there it’s happening it’s that’s what’s going on. Whether you you’re brave enough to say it out loud or not, it is happening Christians for ignoring this huge issue that that every every person struggles with every single one

29:19
terrible Bella I just, I just pray right now that Lord you will open every person’s heart in their eyes and their ears to what’s going on more than you would open up their their prejudices and break those walls down. With more you would give them an understanding the wisdom that surpasses everything they ever priorly learned, Lord, Yes, Lord, that You would help them understand and get have compassion for these people learn not only that learn, have compassion for the people that are struggling with this issue like them and not judge them. and mode of thinking right now that whoever’s listening to this podcast, Lord, that you’re setting them free from Jesus prejudice them from addictions or from broken hearts, Lord, from that deep need for that love, Lord, that you’re setting them free because You are the love and you are the answer, Lord, and you are our comforter, and you are our teacher, you are our mental Lord, You are our father, you are our best friend, and that we don’t need anything. But you, Lord, we could surrender all of our passions to you, Lord, it’s right, all over you, Lord, you would be more than happy enough to set us free Lord. And I think you right now that you’re doing that. And that, Lord, that Bella and I are testimonies, our lives we’ve already lived, are being used as a beacon of light and hope, Lord, Lord, I thank you right now. And we just pray that in Jesus name right now.

30:53
She’s awesome. Amen. Thank you for that. Thank you so much. Okay, my very last ask the question is, if you could go back to year one of marriage, and sit yourself down, what would be the one piece of advice that you would give to you?

31:11
And you need to listen more? Listen to what he’s saying. And remember what he told you? Yep. It makes him feel respected. That’s good. It also makes him feel like you love him.

31:23
That’s good. Well, Annie, this is just incredible. I just, I cannot be more thrilled that we’re able to listen to your story and all the wisdom that God taught you through it. Where can people connect with you?

31:35
Sure, they can go to hookers for jesus.net and that’s fishnet. So, hookers for Jesus dotnet. And you can find out information on my blog where I’ve been speaking the books there. What we do is their destiny house information, all of that and connect with us on Twitter and Facebook as well.

31:55
Awesome. Awesome. Please do that support this ministry? It is Thank you. Wow. It’s huge. Yeah. And I would even encourage, if you’ve been moved by any story, consider a donation. I mean, a generous donation? No, I mean, it. I mean it if I mean, I’m sure people are brought to tears by what you’re doing. And this ministry deserves your support. So if I were to ask you, but what’s the biggest need in your ministry right now? Could you just let me know?

32:23
Well, every week, we have to make our payroll because we have ladies that take care of the girls at Destiny house. And we have a staff here that runs everything, the nonprofit itself, and I don’t get a paycheck. So that’s why I’m hoping that the book does well, I still give to the ministry from the book as well, percentage wise. So you know, whoever can give whatever the amount they can give, that would be so appreciated, because I would hate to have this beautiful estate closed down and have to put these girls back on the street. We’re looking for grant writers to so if anyone’s out there, that’s a great grant writer will love to talk to you. So thank you,

32:56
awesome, Annie. I just can’t be more grateful for what you’ve done and how you’ve shared and I can’t wait to read your book. Thank you so much.

33:10
It’s just incredible the story and what Annie had to say, I’m so grateful. And I want to speak first to husbands and then I want to speak two wives. For you men that are listening. If you have been impacted by this story. I just want to say it is not time to relax. It is time to fight this battle. It is time to stand up and fight. I have been praying for Annie’s ministry since this interview. It is so strong in my heart. And I think God gave me an idea. If you want to respect women, if you want to stop objectifying them if your mind has been so entrenched in pornography or sexual addiction in other ways, that it’s hard to even look at women without objectifying them without treating them poorly, even in your own mind. I’m telling you what that is a heart issue, and God wants to change your heart.

34:07
When I say take action, I’m not saying it’s just averting your eyes, that’s part of it. But you know what? God has a recipe to change hearts. I believe we can be really proactive about getting our heart changed. The Bible says Where your treasure is there your heart will be also. That’s what Jesus says it’s not the other way around. You don’t wait for your heart to change and then you start giving. You’re like, Well, if God put that on my heart, then no, no. We have to walk by faith here. And I know this is true because I specifically have had people issues and when I started supporting a nonprofit with my own money, God changed my heart towards those people. So I am encouraging you. It will change if you are violent with this. The Bible says the kingdom of heaven suffers violence but the violent take it by force that we are not called to just relax, and let things go the way that they’re going. And he is so brave and other ministries like that are so brave to take the torch to go forward and be the hands of Jesus. But you know what she needs arms. If you can’t actually be on the front lines are you’re not gifted in that way or you you know, don’t have the the ability to be that you are making money at your job right now where you can be supporting her ministry. And I’m telling you what, if you start giving, to the extent that it actually hurts your wallet, your heart is going to change. And I’m telling you why. Because if you purchase a brand new car, and you are making payments on that car every month, you are not going to take that car behind the shed when no one’s looking and start beating it with a sledgehammer. If you want to break this addiction, you need to start supporting ministries that are fighting the good fight against pornography against sexual abuse. Because men I hate to break it to you, but every time you engage in pornography use, you are supporting the abuse of women, you are supporting the horrific treatment of women. The other thing I want to mention that for those men that are listening, that are struggling with the thought of well, that woman knew what she was getting into when she signed up for being a porn star being you know, a call girl, she knew what she was getting into, first of all, and he says you’re wrong. And she deals with women that are in the midst of this all the time you’ll read her book, you’ll be surprised. Secondly, even if that was true, even if a woman is standing in the middle of a street, when you’re in your car, you cannot run her down, you cannot hurt her. Because she knew full well what she was doing. That is not what Jesus calls us to do. So I asked you men to search your heart and ask God if he wants to change it. If he does, here’s the challenge, to be a man of dignity, to be a man of true character, that when someone says man of God, you don’t flinch because you know what you were watching last night, I challenge you to be a man of dignity, and get your heart right before Jesus before your wife. Before the people that trust you. Send a check to Annie’s minister or ministries like it, have at least $100 for six months. And if $100 is not going to hurt, I am asking you to increase the amount until it hurts until you can’t go out to dinner because you’re so committed to getting your heart right before Jesus. That’s what I’m asking you to do. Don’t relax if you need to get a second job so that you can be busy enough to stop watching porn. Start making it hurt if you get busy enough for and you don’t even have time, because you’re supporting the ministry that God wants you to be supporting. I’m telling you what your heart is going to be changed, your heart is going to be changed and do this, send me an email after you send a check all the information is at delight your marriage.com/dignity and write me an email and all you have to include you don’t have to include any of the specifics where you send the check any of that you don’t have to You’re welcome to if you want but you don’t have to the only thing I ask is right in the subject line. I am a man of dignity.

38:15
When you start to believe that about yourself, when you start to honor women in your mind and your thoughts, your relationship with your wife will be different. Your relationship with women will be different the way you see them, your imaginations will be different. And here’s the deal. You need to be open with your wife about what’s going on. If you’re struggling with porn addiction or other kinds of sexual addiction she needs to know. The question is, I just wonder if you were to take this seriously, if you were to take the six month challenge, the dignity challenge and then sit down with her and play this audio for her and say I did that challenge. And you know what, my heart is different. And I took this seriously. And I read a couple books and I listened to that I took that extra job not just to pay for the dog food, but because I needed my heart to change. It’s still gonna hurt her, you know, but I am confident that she will be able to trust you at a different level, knowing that you have really taken this seriously. So just consider that as you’re considering whether you’re going to make this choice or not. So I want to speak to wives now. And thank you so much for listening through to the end of this. If you you know we’re listening to what Annie was talking about and the way she was talking about how she interacts with her husband and you know wearing sexy lingerie and that kind of thing. And honestly that just seems so far from where you are. I hear you I definitely hear you and there are definitely times where I still feel ridiculous. But I also know that I’ve gotten so much more freedom in this area. And I feel so much more confident than I ever have before. And I want to share that with you because I think God has some really practical, cool, spicy insights in the Bible that I would love to walk through with you. So that is what this whole webinar is about. If you’ve heard me talk about it so far, basically, it’s a free live training, where, you know, women are on the other side, but it’s totally anonymous and know what you don’t know who’s on the other side, and they don’t know who you are, and blah, blah, blah. So it’s almost like just you and I talking live about this spicy topic. And I would love to have you there. It’s the next one is actually happening tomorrow. So if you’re listening to this, the day it comes out, it’s happening April 25, at 8pm, Eastern Standard Time. If you’re listening to this in the future, I’ll have another one. So go ahead to delight your marriage comm slash webinar, and I’d love for you to sign up there. Well, thank you for staying tuned and listening through. I really believe that either choice is going to bring you closer to the Lord. And that is ultimately my aim. And what I believe is really the aim of your marriage in general. So I would love to talk to you tomorrow. If you can make it to the webinar or all receive your email about dignity. I just believe that God is going to bless your efforts and I’m praying that he would. Alright, I love you and God bless you.

41:35
Thanks for listening. If you’ve been blessed by this, why not share it? Until next time, live with love, wisdom and passion

 

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