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Hi there! Belah here. Today is Part II of my interview with Gaye Christmus of calmhealthysexy.com. On this episode, she digs deeper into why relationships tend to turn stale whenever the hustle and bustle of childrearing and work and all those things that keep us busy, die down. She emphasizes on making time, freeing up your calendar for things like going on date nights with your husband and basically just talking and engaging with each other. Gaye tells us not to be afraid of taking things slow. Deal with things, talk openly about sex, be more intentional in your commitment as a spouse—these are the key points on this interview that you would not want to miss!

Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/58

Through research and study, I’ve discovered the secrets I wish someone told me years ago! Receive my free gift: “The 4 Stages To His Best Oral Orgasm” by going to delightyourmarriage.com/4stages

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You’ll Discover:

  • How Gaye believes in taking it slow and leaving space for quality time in your marriage
  • How you should take control of your family schedule
  • How taking small steps is better than going all out at once
  • How to be more open about sex and intimacy in your marriage, and why it is important to do so

Books & Resources Mentioned:

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Tweetables:

  • The family ought to revolve around the marriage, not the children.
  • You and your husband should manage the family’s schedule, rather than have the schedule control you.
  • There is one fear that couples have; it’s the fear of the question, “if i allow some space for my marriage, what am i gonna find?”
  • Some people are just afraid of slowing down because when they do, they have to deal with things that they don’t want to.
  • You can make progress even when you feel you are in a difficult situation.

Thanks for listening! I hope you are encouraged to live in wholehearted intimacy!

Love,

Belah

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Transcript

0:02
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host, belah rose.

0:16
Hey there, and welcome, I hope that everything is going well in your heart today, and that you are ready to enjoy the delight your marriage podcast, I have the second half of Miss Gay Christmas speaking today. And she gives great insights specifically about how to make margin in your life, where you’ve got some blank spaces in your calendar, where you’re not filled to the brim of appointments. You know, I think she’s got some great insights here. And it’s going to be really helpful. Because the thing is, when you are giving yourself some more space and some more time to be together with your husband or with your wife, that is what you need to then have the romance required that passionate intimacy is going to come out of that. So making space in your life and in your calendar, I think gay has a wonderful insights for us. So let’s go ahead and dive in. So through this struggle, can you share about what your marriage looks like now?

1:34
Yeah, so I think it looks a lot, it looks good. I feel like we have really, we have worked through that. And, you know, to be honest, it is helpful when your children are older, because I think when you do have little children at home, you can maybe only take it so far. But you know, as your children get older, you know, even when they’re teenagers, they’re doing a lot of their own thing, I mean, then you do have, if you if you have a foundation in place, then you do have more sort of time and energy and flexibility to sort of you know, experiment and have a little bit more fun and that kind of thing. So I feel like that’s where we’re at now is that we, you know, can enjoy sex and intimacy more than probably when we were younger. You know, our son who lives at home is out of the household lots. So we had a free day, his marriage, he just got back from two months in Uganda. So we were really trying out the the emptiness thing there for a while this summer. But I think as as long as you have a good foundation in place, then as your children get older, you really, you know, you can really start to have some fun. But yeah, I think you have to be intentional about that when they’re young, because you don’t want to get to the empty nest or the semi empty nest and find that you haven’t built the foundation for that, you know, you don’t want to I mean, I’ve I’m sure you have to I’ve heard a lot of people talk about getting to that point and then saying, Oh, wow, who is this person I’m living with? Or, you know, what are we going to do now? So, I mean, we’re at the point now, where we’re like, you know, trying to get some sort of hobbies activities started that we couldn’t do before. You know, have, we can do you can do some things in the area of intimacy that you can’t really do when you have kids in the house. Right, right. You know, so we’re just trying to have fun together, you know, in both sexual and non sexual ways, we’re trying to sort of figure out what this next stage of our life is going to look like. Just, you know, just, I mean, I think it looks pretty good marriage.

4:02
Yeah. I love that. I love that. Well, and you were talking about building the foundation? Could you go into that a little bit more what that means? And how do you do that?

4:12
Yeah. So I think the risk when you have young children is or one a risk is that you focus all of your energy and attention around the children. And I’m not just talking to wives, I think husbands can do that too. Maybe in different areas, like, you know, I know, husbands who, who are all consumed by their children’s sports, or Yeah, you know, so I think it’s very easy for either one or both parents to get all consumed by the children and everything revolves around the children. And in my opinion, that’s a mistake. I think the family ought to revolve around the marriage. You know, not that your children are not important, of course, and not that your children Don’t do activities. But I believe the marriage ought to be the center. Because if the children are at the center, you know, and you go on that way for 1520 years, then when they get out and start doing their own thing, I think you’re left in a kind of a precarious place with your marriage. So I will give credit to my husband for this, because he was always from the very beginning, you know, we’re not going to get consumed by children’s activities, because that’s kind of the way he grew up his mom, working mom for a lot of his life. And, you know, he just grew up with a lot of the family being consumed by the children’s activities. My mom was a stay at home mom, and so she, she could do a lot of that stuff. So I grew up thinking, you know, well, you should do everything you should do sport, a dance, you know, but from the very beginning, my husband was saying, you know, let’s, let’s not get involved in that, let’s do you know, each one one activity at a time. Yeah, that kind of thing, because he’s very big on having margin in your life. And I think a lot of young couples today do not have much margin in their life, they’re really yet, you know, scheduled and stressed out to the max. Right, it’s hard to make room for building a good foundation for your marriage. If that’s the case. That’s true. So I would really encourage, you know, couples who are at the stage now with young children, school aged children, to that the way to build a good foundation for later is to focus your family around your marriage and let the marriage be the priority. Even though of course, your children are very important, and you want to meet their needs and a lot of their wants, but become completely absorbed by that. So that, like one of my kind of themes on your My blog is that you and your husband should manage and control the family’s schedule, rather than letting the schedule manage and control you. Just what I see a lot of young families doing? Yes. So I think if you, you know, if you keep your marriage at the center from the beginning, then when you get to the, you know what, you’re moving toward your kids going to college or moving out, then you have, it’s still an adjustment. I mean, I’m not saying it’s not an adjustment, because it is but you said you have a foundation there of your marriage being important to both of you. And I think that really helps the Trent make the transition.

7:50
What would you say to families that are at the later stage? And let’s say they’re either at the empty nester stage, or they’re about to get there, and they’re suddenly realizing they haven’t made that foundation. What would you what would you kind of suggest to them?

8:05
Yeah, that’s, that’s a really good question. That’s a good point. Yeah. I would say, you know, recognizing it is a great first step. And then I would say, to start talking about it, I mean, maybe just one spouse recognizes it, and says, Oh, my goodness, you know, here we’re moving toward the stage. And I don’t think we’re ready for it. And so I would say, start talking about it. And that may be one of those conversations that you have to have more than once, because it may be that one spouse is really wrapped up in, you know, doing all of these acts, I mean, I can see it going either way, I can see, say a husband is totally wrapped up in coaching his high school kids sports or whatever. And then the wife thinking, wow, these sports are going to be over in a couple of years. And this is all we’ve done as a family, you know, and I can see it going the other way to the husband thinking, wow, my wife is just totally involved in these kids and church activities, and we’re not doing anything as a couple. So I would say just for the person who realizes that to have the conversation. And then to start being intentional about bringing your marriage back into the center. You know, you may have to say no to some things with your kids. I don’t think that’s the end of the world to be on. Right? You know, are you you may have to say there’s some activities we just can’t do now. Or you may have to say no to a volunteer job or I can’t do this anymore. I’ve had my turn I’m done. It’s very hard for women especially to say that but I would be intentional about you know, starting to have a regular date night because if if all of the Act These are involved around the kids, you know, it’s probably likely that the date night has kind of gone to the side. Right? I would think about starting a hobby together, like my husband and I got bikes for Christmas, you know, we want to start biking together. It’s been so blasted hot here, the South that we really like in a winter, it rained all winter after we got them. And then as soon as summer about here, it’s been 100 degrees almost every day, oh, man. But we are, you know, but we have that as a little activity that we’re trying to build up and do together. So I would say, you know, think about that, is there something that both of you would enjoy that you could start doing together? You know, that, I think it would be hard say if you sort of had that realization, when your kids were in high school, that it would probably be kind of scary. You know, but I would say, Pray about it, you know, if a couple of both Christians pray about it, talk about it and just start taking small steps. I’m a very big believer in small steps. So, you know, a regular date night would be a great small step, planning a weekend away, when you can just enjoy time with each other. And, you know, talking and looking toward the future would be a great, small step, saying no to one activity that’s taking up a lot of your time would be a great, small step and just start moving in that in that direction.

11:33
Yeah, yeah. I love that. I think that’s very helpful. And I, I love that you’re talking about small steps. Because sometimes it seems like we have, again, with this kind of theme of it’s a process. It’s not just one decision, and you’re gone. And you’re golden. That’s it, right? It’s a continued journey every day, day by day by day. So that’s wonderful.

11:56
I think I got that in part from Lori at the generous wife blog. She talks about, you know, about taking small steps and just, you know, being patient and not expecting change to happen immediately. And I think that’s a really good idea that you can do, and it doesn’t seem so overwhelming, then, you know, it’s not Yeah, oh, my goodness, I have to change my marriage. You know, this week? No, I can do one small change in my marriage this week. And then I can build on it with one small change next week, and just keep moving in a positive direction.

12:34
Yeah, well, something that you talk a lot about on your blog is health. And I’ve got a wedding coming up that I’m a bridesmaid in a couple of months. And so I’m trying I’ve got like some health goals. And I’m gonna use your small steps idea of Oh, god. Yeah. A portion control,

12:53
I think. Yeah. Yeah, I do love health. I mean, that is my sort of professional background. And I do love to write about it on my blog. And I think small steps with any kind of health goal, whether it’s weight loss, increasing fitness, anything are absolutely perfect, because I think when people just sort of charge out there and try to change everything at once. It’s, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s difficult to do that, and it’s probably more likely to lead to failure.

13:27
Hmm, yeah. Yeah. Well, I appreciate that. I’m going to be using that. If you could kind of dumb down your marital success to the chief three thing. Would you be able to do that?

13:40
Yeah, I think. One is that we’ve just always had a commitment to make it work. You know, I mean, our mindset from the beginning has been this is this is it, this marriage, you know, this is it, there was never any thought of, we can’t make it, you know, this is not going to work out. So I think it was very helpful, because sort of that was sort of a foundational belief is that we’re in this for the long run, and we’re going to make it work. So I think I think that’s helpful. For us, I think that the similarities in personality have been helpful. I know that kind of goes against a common wisdom, and maybe that wouldn’t work for other people. But for us, maybe it’s because of our type of personality. I think that’s been helpful. But for somebody who had different personalities, I think the way to kind of achieve the same thing is just to be very aware of and sensitive to your spouse’s needs based on their personality. So I think I think you could get achieve the same thing by saying, you know, okay, I’m an introvert, but he’s an extrovert so I know he needs more. You know, he needs time. with other people he needs for us to go out, you know, that kind of thing. Or he’s an introvert. So I’m going to be kind of careful about our time and committing to other people. So I think you could achieve the same thing just by being sensitive to the other person’s personality type and making a calm, you know, both people making accommodations in the marriage for it. Yeah. And then the third thing I wrote down is actually something that we already talked about, or that I mentioned, which is maintaining some margin in our lives, you know, before I even heard of the book margins, which I think that’s a great concept. But I think we have always done that we have never been ones to just schedule everything to the max, and just to, you know, tap out all of our time and energy doing stuff. And I think, I think that has helped us because even though it’s exhausting to work and raise young children and take care of the house, it’s even more exhausting. You know, if you’re also maxing out all of your time doing stuff. Yeah. So I think that has been helpful is that we, we just haven’t done that. Not I mean, not that there haven’t been times in our life that had been busy. But I think we’ve been pretty intentional. And again, I’ve given my husband credit for this. And I think we’ve been pretty intentional about, you know, guarding some time, you know, for ourselves, our marriage for, you know, just sort of rejuvenating and having a little bit of downtime. Those are kind of three things that have been helpful for us. But But I do think the commitment part was foundational, because yeah, I mean, I have never had the thought, Okay, this is just isn’t going to work. And I’m pretty sure my husband has never had that thought, either. Wow, wow, that’s when I know that’s harder. In other you know, in some marriages, I know that’s, that’s very, very difficult, because some marriages are under a great deal of stress. But for us, that’s been something that that worked.

17:17
Well, I think I wanted to talk a little bit more about the margin part as well, because I’m just trying to think of why husbands or wives would pack in everything possible into the schedule, or have their kids in six different activities, or whatever. And I think a lot of it is fear. Let me know what you think about this. But I think it’s because a lot of times, you know, we’re scared that our kids won’t, you know, be the best in the band. So they need to have extra lessons, and they need to have this or that or they’re not, you know, going to go to the right college if they don’t have eight different activities that they were doing every single semester or, you know, what are your thoughts on that?

17:59
Yeah, I do think that’s a big part of it. I think there’s a lot of pressure to Yes, have your kids and everything have your Yeah, be the best. Give them every opportunity. And so I do think that’s a big concern of, you know, parents when they’re with other parents, you know, they hear oh, my son’s doing this, and he’s doing this, and he’s won this award, and that, and, you know, he got the scholarship and right, it’s yeah, you’re, you’re fearful that they won’t be able to compete. Right. And, yeah, so I think that’s one fear. I think maybe there’s some times there’s a fear of, if I allow some space for my marriage, what am I going to find? No, I think that might be something I think some people are just afraid to slow down. Because when they slow down, they have to think about or deal with some things that they don’t want to think, or deal with. So, you know, I think there can be different reasons, but I do think that that one about feeling pressure is big. But you know, I think what really benefits kids is to be in a secure family and to spend time with their parents. And yeah, be, you know, a fun and upbeat thing to be with your parents. People aren’t you know, we’re doing fun things as a family. We’re not, you know, running to 14 soccer games, you know, Saturday, and Sunday. Yeah, we’re taking a bike ride as a family. We’re having a family movie night. Yeah, no, I just think that those things are sort of the quiet things that really build into your child’s life. Yeah, you know, so I mean, my kids didn’t do every single Activity my Yeah, you know, soccer playing son never played traveling soccer until he was a senior in high school. And no, I know kids who are eight years old who are playing traveling soccer. In my mind, that’s crazy. But yeah, no, I mean each family to its own, but you know, but I mean, my kids turned out fine. They got into the colleges, they want to go to the one who’s graduated has a good job, the one who’s still in college has a great GPA, and he’s involved in a lot of stuff. And you know, so I just, I think that that pressure is a false pressure. Yeah, um, and, you know, maybe if you only have one child, you know, maybe that’s what your family wants to devote itself to. But once you have more than one child, then it’s a divide and conquer. thing. Yes, Dad, go into soccer and baseball, and mom’s going to dance and scouts ran. Oh, and, you know, all of a sudden, you’re kind of running these parallel lives to get everybody to all of their stuffs. Oh, yeah, I do think there’s a fear that we’re not doing enough for our kids if we don’t do that. But yeah, I just really think that being in a family, you know, with a strong marriage, where people aren’t stressed out, where the parents are happy, the family can do fun things together. I just think that’s very, very important.

21:31
Yes, I love that. And, and I loved also the other fears that you brought on like that you talked about where you said, Fear of even what you’re going to find if you dig into your marriage, and

21:42
yeah, just just the idea of sort of fears in general of what what you may have to deal with, or think of rights if you’re not busy. I mean, I mean, I can think of someone who comes right to my mind now, who I feel like probably has some things, not even just marriage things, but some life things. Yes, with but this person just keeps incredibly busy all the time. And I just have to wonder if the reason is just not to have to think about or address those things.

22:15
Yes, yes, I’m so that was exactly what I wanted to bring up. Because I think that’s absolutely a piece because we cannot even, you know, God doesn’t have the opportunity of speaking to us if we’re just cramming our lives in with so many distractions. It’s just, it’s impossible. And I think that’s a big reason why fasting is so important, whether you’re fasting from media or fasting from food or any of that, but it’s it’s getting rid of some of the noise, or the things that we think about so that God has our attention. So I anyway, I just love the idea of of creating margin in your marriage, and that how important that is to your successful marriage. So that’s amazing.

22:57
Good point about God’s speaking. Because I mean, I do think God speaks to us generally in a quiet voice. A lot of times, we don’t hear that because we have so much noise going on in our lives, that it’s Yeah, drowning out that little sort of nudging. Yes. Oh, God. I mean, I think it’s I know someone who said recently that God, you know, spoke to him loudly and audibly but I think that’s the exception. I think Ray usually speaks to us quietly. And yeah, I know. I mean, I’m very guilty of not taking enough time to just be quiet. No, and to listen or to be open to hearing him or even just to be quietly in His Word, you know, and be ready to receive anything. You know, he has for me, so I do. I think that’s a really good point.

23:55
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it this is this is great stuff. Well, I do need to move on to the next question I have for you. Would you be willing to share advice about intimacy that you wish someone let you in on earlier?

24:12
Yes, I think my advice would probably tie back into the things I said about the kind of the struggles that we went through. Yeah, I would say, you know, I mean, just thinking like fives talking to a young woman just married or about to get married, I would say, you know, inform yourself, take advantage of all the resources. I mean, when you know, when my mom got married, there were basically no resources for women about sex. When I got married. There were some, but now there are, you know, hundreds, so they’re a great blogs, you know, like this. They’re great podcasts. They’re great books. So I would encourage, you know, young women or any woman who’s struggling with that, just to Get informed, just read about it, learn about it. And then to have the comfort, you know, to have the conversations to be willing to talk to your husband about that, you know, it is hard to talk about sex, even though we’re living in a sex saturated culture, it is hard to talk about it. And you don’t want to feel like you’re accusing or saying there’s something wrong. But you know, just to say, I’m struggling in this area, or there’s some things that I would like to make work better for me, or I’m having a hard time with this. And just, you know, just to do that, and to be willing to take, you know, the time that you need to make it work for you don’t think that you have to, it has to be the same way it is for your husband realize that there’s not anything wrong with you, you know, you just have to, I mean, I think the design is that men and women are different. And that, even though at times, that seems frustrating at times you think, yeah, oh, God, why did you do that? It makes it so much harder. But yeah, really, when you can kind of celebrate that, and yeah, light to both people’s strengths and interests, then I think you have the greatest intimacy and the most enjoyable sex and, you know, the most fun and that kinda, so I think, you know, pray about it, inform yourself, talk to your husband, you know, be willing to do things, you know, sort of try new things. I’m not, I’m not talking about positions, but trying, you know, different ways of interacting different times, you know, taking more time to sort of build up to it and get ready for it. Yeah, I don’t know that that kind of thing is sort of what comes to mind. And there are, can I mentioned resources? Are we going to do this, please? Well, um,

27:03
yeah, in just a moment. Okay. Okay. You Yeah, just one more. One more question before it was asked about that. Due to the specific marriage that you’ve had, what opportunities have you had to serve or get to know God?

27:18
I guess, really, the blog, in many ways, came out of some of the difficulties that I’ve had, and the things that we’ve learned. You know, the blog has kind of two interests, the health interest in the marriage interest, and kind of the marriage, part of it came out of those difficulties, you know, that I had, because in the marriage part of the blog, I just really always want to be saying to women, you know, you, you can do this, you know, you can you can make progress, even if you’re, you feel like you’re in a difficult situation, you can take a small step, you can move forward just a little bit. And I just always want to be very encouraging to them in the blog. I mean, I never, you know, want to say anything that discourages them or implies that they’re doing anything wrong. I mean, I know, we all do things wrong in our marriages. But I, I think women tend to focus on the negative when it comes to themselves and tend to I just had published an article yesterday about how we’re women tend to beat themselves up. And that’s true if their struggles in their marriages. So I just, I think, I feel like God has given me an opportunity to say, don’t do that, but instead, just take some action. And here are just a few ideas that you could try, or here are, you know, here’s one step you might consider taking, if you’re facing this, or, you know, here’s something I learned, you know, maybe this would work for you, or here’s a resource that helped me maybe this would help you too. So I feel like he has given me in part of Ministry of encouraging wives to take positive steps in their marriages. And I do talk about sex and intimacy. But I also talk about things like, you know, the family schedule, the margins, the you know, the sort of things that you put on yourself. The, you know, I talk about saying no, or saying no more, because that’s hard for women. So, again, yeah, I don’t know sometimes I wonder if my blog is a ministry in the way that some other marriage blogs are. But, you know, I do feel like that God has has given me that sort of hope for women or or desire to encourage women in that way. And so that’s that’s kind of what I tried to do with the marriage part.

30:15
Yeah. Yeah, no, that’s awesome. And and is there a book or program that you would specifically recommend?

30:23
So yeah, so I do have a resources page on my blog, where I link to, you know, a number of resources that have been helpful to me, I really like the book sheet music. I just think that’s a great overview. I think that’s good for young or older couples. I just think it’s a good overview of intimacy, sex and intimacy in marriage. And it does give have chapters on kind of the wife’s perspective, and the husband’s perspective. I like the book, Good Girls Guide to great sex by Sheila Gregoire. There’s some really great marriage blogs and you know, intimacy blogs. Hot, holy and humorous is a great blog is blog to love, honor and vacuum. It’s good. Bonnie’s oyster oyster Pearl oyster bed. You know, it’s wonderful for women who feel like they really have a low libido or low interest. Yeah, in sex. Chris’s blog, the forgiving wife is very good for women who have, you know, in been in the very difficult situation of having, you know, a sexless or nearly sexless marriage or had basically been just not wanting to have sex with their husbands for a long time. So they’re just, you know, really great resources out there that give you positive, you know, just a positive perspective, and give that perspective that I mean, I said it before, but this is very important to me, is that is not just about your husband. You know, I think there’s some advice out there. And unfortunately, in the Christian community, that you know, well, you just need to have sex, because that’s important with your husband, well, this is something you need to do for your husband. And, you know, I just don’t agree with that. I think it’s something it’s something for both of you. Yes, yeah, we’re in to your husband. And yes, sometimes you might have sex when you don’t want to, just because, you know, it’s important to him. But yeah, you can’t build a marriage on that of just always giving sex to him, you know, women are God created them as sexual beings, too. And I think you have to work together to find, you know, if you’re, I mean, I think there were times, you know, in my very tire, or child weary life was felt like, I’m, you know, I don’t have a libido, I’m not a sexual person. And that’s not, but it is easier for it to get sort of, you know, press down, press down, press down in a woman till it feels like it’s not there anymore. So, you know, so any of those books, or, or blogs or websites, I think would be great toward just taking those steps in the direction of, you know, embracing kind of a positive view of sexuality in your marriage.

33:23
Yeah. Well, and then the last question I have for you, is, if you could go back to year one of your marriage and sit yourself down, what’s one piece of advice that you would give to you?

33:36
I would say, learn to talk openly about sex and intimacy in your marriage, you know, don’t wait 15 years, really figure that out? You know, just learn to talk about it, just learn to say, you know, here’s what I’m feeling. Here’s what’s frustrating me, here’s what I read. Don’t, you know, I I’m was really terrible about that about just, you know, I sort of come from a family that works everything out or tries to in their own minds. And then, okay, with some things, but, you know, there are things that I realized later, I didn’t even know that I should talk about that. It wasn’t like I was saying, I’m not going to talk to my husband about this, it was that I didn’t even realize that I should. So, you know, I would have said to myself, you know, early on, just be very intentional about that. You know, anything that’s going through your mind about that, talk about it, don’t don’t try to work it all out in your head because that is a pretty bad strategy. You know, so because one, you’re not letting your husband in on it. So he has no clue. Yeah, the other thing is, I mean, just the act of talking about something often helps you work. things out. And then also, you know, you’re hearing what he thinks, and he’s giving you feedback. And you, you know, like I said, for example, I thought he was selfish, but I was confused, because he’s not a selfish person. So I mean, I should have talked about that early on. So he could say, you know, I don’t want to be selfish, but I had no idea you were thinking this, or I didn’t know you needed this, or Yeah, so

35:27
yeah, that’s huge.

35:29
It’s so it’s not easy, but you just really need to do it. It just pays off in the long run, so don’t be like me and just try to work it all out in your, in your head because that’s not a really a good plan.

35:43
Yeah, no. You’re so funny. That’s wonderful. Yeah. So okay, so tell us if you would gay where we can connect with you online.

35:53
Okay, so my blog is called Healthy, sexy, calm. And I’m also on Twitter at the same name calm, healthy, sexy, and on Facebook and Pinterest at the at the same name. And I yeah, I blogged you know, I probably put up new posts about twice a week, I’d love to respond to comments from, you know, people who read and want to share their experience or have an idea about what I said, and I would love to connect with your listeners in that way.

36:27
Yeah, yeah. That’s wonderful. Well, gay. Thank you so much for everything that you gave all of your insight and your stories. I so so appreciate it.

36:37
Thank you so much for talking with me. I really, really enjoyed it.

36:41
Oh, I’m glad to hear that. Wow, well, thank you gay for everything that you shared. And if this has meant something to you, I just want to challenge you to get out of one commitment that you are currently doing that, you know, is too much that this is just something you took on because you felt like you had to or no one else was going to or that you feel afraid because other people are doing it and you should be too I just challenge you to say no, and cancel. And and get out because you need some space in your life not only for hearing from God, which is huge, but also for your marriage also for your family. God bless you. Thank you so much for listening, and we’ll talk more soon. Bye.

37:36
Thanks for listening. Stop by delight your marriage.com to check out all the show notes as well as many more resources and articles. Until next time, live with love, wisdom impassion

 

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