[vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern”][vc_column][vc_empty_space][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern”][vc_column][vc_column_text]
[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”grid” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” padding_top=”120″ padding_bottom=”120″ z_index=””][vc_column][vc_empty_space height=”20px”][vc_column_text]
Husbands write to me in TEARS. Here are just a sampling of some of the MANY MANY emails I get from husbands who WISH their wives would work with me!
Do you want to turn your marriage around? Schedule a FREE Clarity Call with me!
[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”grid” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css=”.vc_custom_1548087908050{background-color: #ffffff !important;}” z_index=””][vc_column][vc_empty_space height=”20px”][vc_column_text]
“It literally sounded like you were sharing our story and my struggle in it. I shed a fair amount of tears each time I listened to it. It was the first time I have ever felt like someone else understood and appreciated my/our struggles. Everything that was shared was point by point me, my marriage, family and background.
As I reply here, I still wrestle to fight back the tears. Man it so hurts. I have thought numerous times about divorce but don’t want to, but the pain is huge and comes and goes like the tide. Sometimes I get tired of waking up at night in my own tears in love for my wife…I want to do what ever it takes to help her, but my hope wanes.”
[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”grid” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css=”.vc_custom_1548019416642{background-color: #ffffff !important;}” z_index=””][vc_column][vc_column_text]
“I feel like I am trapped in a marriage with someone who just doesn’t care. Divorce is not an option for me. I am resigned at this point to live in a diminished marriage, lonely place with my wife.
I take meaning and joy from the many other relationships in my life, and find friend, and familial love and affection nurtures my heart.
But it’s not the same, as from my wife. “
[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”grid” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” padding_top=”120″ padding_bottom=”120″ z_index=””][vc_column][vc_column_text]
“Have you ever been approached by a husband seeking to anonymously introduce your work to his wife? I don’t want to be manipulative – and perhaps that is exactly what I am being – but I am struggling with losing hope for a recovery.
After 30+ years of marriage, I can’t believe I (we) are dealing with this level of marital unbliss… I fully acknowledge that I am not the best husband in the world, but I really try to be forgiving, thoughtful, creative, understanding, patient, and kind…I can’t talk to anyone there because I could never “air” these most personal feelings and marriage problems to people (or a person) who would see us both each week. I could never feel comfortable revealing what I feel are shortcomings in my marriage/wife. “
[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”grid” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css=”.vc_custom_1548019653291{background-color: #ffffff !important;}” z_index=””][vc_column][vc_empty_space height=”100px”][vc_column_text]
“I am amazed at your understanding of the male perspective on intimacy. I also realize that I am not providing you any new feedback on your unique ability to capture the male point of view. I have tried to talk to my wife about sensitive issues regarding me/manhood/male idiosyncrasies, but it is so very hard to be open/vulnerable and at the same time strong – all the while keeping my male ego intact. When it comes to the topic of peni, you are spot on.
Unfortunately, this need that I have is not an easy subject to talk about with my wife. Our intimacy is rather vanilla and while it scratches the itch, it certainly isn’t what it could be – with God’s blessing. I know you have offered some ideas to husbands on how to ask their wives to take a listen to your podcasts and webinar. Unfortunately, those methods would not work well with my wife. She would resent it and see it as me trying to manipulate her – for my own gain…She would be more receptive if the opportunity to learn was not delivered by me. I don’t mean to impose, but as I stated, I am desperate for change and advancement in our intimacy.”
[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”parallax” parallax_content_width=”in_grid” text_align=”left” full_screen_section_height=”no”][vc_column][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][vc_column_text]
“My wife and I are struggling with sexuality in our relationship…I don’t know what more I can do. Resources like yours do provide reason for hope and optimism, but up to this point my wife has been completely resistant to any and all sexuality in our relationship. I try to have discussions with her, like ‘How do you want to be touched?’ ‘I don’t!’ ‘How do you want to be pursued?’ ‘I don’t!’
She won’t have any hard conversations about sex that don’t quickly descend in to name calling and accusations. I pray with her every day and try to be a spiritual leader – with a lot of room for growth!…I feel (yes feel) like I, and our relationship, is of very minimal importance to her. She refuses to seek out any resources to help, or any mentoring. I don’t know what more to do!?”
[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”yes” type=”grid” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css=”.vc_custom_1548019865210{background-color: #ffffff !important;}” z_index=””][vc_column][vc_column_text]
“It’s kind of funny – listening to your podcasts has been both good and bad for me. In one sense, it has been bad, because it made me realize all that was missing from my marriage, all the pain and loneliness I have actually been experiencing, and in some respects, it sharpened that pain and highlighted my dissatisfaction. There have been times, when listening to you, when I felt a little sorry for myself, like, ‘Where did I go wrong? How did I get myself into a marriage that is so lacking (in comparison to what you describe)? Why don’t I have a wife like Belah?!’
But in another sense, it has been good in that it has made me feel less alone, made me feel like someone actually understood what I was going through, and that someone actually cared. Honestly, I can’t tell you how much that has meant to me.
The life of a man can be a pretty lonely thing sometimes. We’re not supposed to be weak, and we’re not supposed to “need” much of anything from anyone, particularly in the way of emotional support/empathy.
And listening to your podcast has been good in that it has made me somewhat hopeful, because you present solutions and resources that may be able to help me and my marriage. My wife is an incredible woman, and I know that the woman she was when we first met is still in there… somewhere.
[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”grid” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” padding_top=”120″ padding_bottom=”120″ z_index=””][vc_column][vc_column_text]
“Hi Bella, I’m a hasidic jew and and I bumped in to your podcast! I must tell you that you are aligned with god! I’m married now for [several] years and boy did we find the right advice now. If you want to talk to me about jewdesm I’d love to. I had a lot of mentors on this topic and no one seems to understand good men like you Bella. I bless you to continue all this amazing work!”
[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”grid” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css=”.vc_custom_1548086614230{background-color: #ffffff !important;}” z_index=””][vc_column][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][vc_column_text]
“I am yet another one of those men who sees that you understand what’s going on in a man’s heart and mind much better than most women. So with that, I’m asking for hep from a place that has felt hopeless many times.
So much so, that I find myself questioning if this time will be any different than all the other times I’ve tried to find workable solutions…when it comes to sex she could take it or leave it….with an emphasis on leave it. For her a few times a year would be just fine. What a place of despair for a husband who is so attracted to his wife, and who find sexual intimacy as the primary way to feel connected to his wife.
I love [my wife] dearly. She is so wonderful, so attractive, so sexy and just a really great woman…I just know that I live in this crazy place of never knowing when the next time will be.
It’s a constant state of tension in my soul, an underlying feeling of barely connectedness with [my wife]….the frustration is so deep…I really am a decent man, and I’ve grown in my identity in Christ…[My wife] thinks I’m all about sex, but I’m not. I want the whole package with her. I want to love her well. I want to be close in every way. And yes, sexually is my favorite way to celebrate the whole thing with her.
It’s so frustrating to me that [my wife] doesn’t seem to get the fact that she could so easily have ‘wrapped around her little finger’ in a very good way, with just a few simple steps…
So it feels relatively hopeless. Just wondering if you can help me?”
[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”grid” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” padding_top=”120″ padding_bottom=”120″ z_index=””][vc_column][vc_column_text]
“I really wanted to just say thank you for writing about such difficult topics (peni and being sexy for your husband) for Christian women. I’m sure many Christian men are thankful for your efforts and I’m sure you have helped so many women learn to love their own husbands in these ways.
Also, keeping things in a Godly setting is most appreciated!”
[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”grid” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css=”.vc_custom_1548087908050{background-color: #ffffff !important;}” z_index=””][vc_column][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][vc_column_text]
“Just another note this time to say thank you once again to you for your sensitivity in dealing with a sensitive topic. …I am learning so much about me and about my wife…
The people who have affirmed you for your understanding not only of women but of men are so correct. This understanding has helped me to know why I at times am frustrated. It has also helped me to pray through those more and dream of more connectedness. Our children have been out of home for a few years already. “
[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern”][vc_column][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1567538420995{margin-right: 200px !important;margin-left: 200px !important;}”]
“I love my wife with all of my heart, and I pray with and for her regularly! She was/is a “good girl” who has honored God with her body throughout her life, which I respect and appreciate, as I have had the same commitment (save 1 indiscretion years before we were married), and we saved ourselves for our wedding night. She gave every indication while we were dating that she was “all in” sexually, and we had a very short engagement largely at her request, as this ” saving yourself” thing was very difficult…
My hope is beginning to fade…. she says that it makes me look needy and pathetic when I break down and cry or show my emotions (admittedly I’m a pretty emotional guy, but I have a very good job and am well respected in the church and community). I don’t ” need her” as much as I want her.
And if I can’t have her, am I showing more strength by leaving? She says that she ” can’t give me all of herself! But that she’s giving me all that she can right now…”. It’s a concept that I truly don’t understand. When I gave myself to her, it was without reservation, so to be offered a partial return hurts. And to add to the hurt, she dislikes me and my body (or just those erogenous portions). How can I love her the way that Christ loves the church if she’s holding so much of herself back?”
[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”grid” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css=”.vc_custom_1548087908050{background-color: #ffffff !important;}” z_index=””][vc_column][vc_column_text]
“I was recently feeling like a “frustrated and hurt husband”, but the Lord has used your recent episodes for husbands to convict me of my selfishness and give me hope for change in myself and my wife.”
[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern”][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1567538448930{margin-right: 200px !important;margin-left: 200px !important;}”]
“[Belah–you and I] really think alike. I believe that the Evil One has hijacked human sexuality and has duped many many souls into believing that sex is bad and dirty. To the contrary!
Sexual love and expression between a husband and wife is beautiful and holy!! We need to proclaim this good news from the rooftops!”
[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”grid” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern” css=”.vc_custom_1548087908050{background-color: #ffffff !important;}” z_index=””][vc_column][vc_column_text]
“I would love for her to take your course, but if she even gets a hint at where your course is going to go, she will not get involved at all. She thinks that everything is good enough the way it is, and there is no reason to change or do anything different. I wish there was some way that she would talk to you, but she got upset when I entered her email into your list so that she could get your emails directly.
We have come a long way in the last few years, but as I said earlier, I still believe that things could be better. There is nothing I will not do to and for her, I just wish those same desires and feelings were reciprocated. If you have any suggestions, I would be interested…just not sure how to get her interested.”
[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern”][vc_column][vc_column_text css=”.vc_custom_1567538480103{margin-right: 200px !important;margin-left: 200px !important;}”]
Your husband may be feeling this way, and I want your marriage turned around!
Say YES to your marriage and schedule a FREE Clarity Call with me!
[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”120px”][/vc_column][/vc_row]