Sex is not for him, it's for us

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Carrie Gordon, from TheIntimateCouple.com gives the second half of her interview. Check out Part I DYM Episode 10: Orgasm Difficulties Revealed.

Carrie talks about the secrets to success in her marriage as well as some steamy sex tips (that have already helped me!) Carrie is incredibly brave and shares the details that will certainly support your marriage.

DYM Podcast quote (13)

You’ll Discover:

  • One easy tip that has increased my marital intimacy frequency from her suggestions!
  • How juggling a family of 24 now, affects a marriage and how you can be proactive.
  • How a wife can own the intimacy of her marriage even if it is motivated by her husband’s need.
  • How Carrie almost died and what that meant for her marriage.
  • How committed she is to her husband’s happiness and him to her.

talk about sex

Resources Mentioned: (clickable link)


His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage

Sexually Confident Wife: Connecting with Your Husband Mind Body Heart Spirit

Good Girls Guide To Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun)


Xes: Why Church Girls Tend To Get It Backwards…and How To Get It Right


The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace with Your Man

7 day sex challenge

7-Day Sex Challenge

treat husband like knight in shining armor

Tweetables:

  • Every single week my husband and I have a date night. It’s vital to our marriage strength and happiness.
  • Men connect emotionally through physical intimacy…but us women we need sex a lot more than we think we do.
  • Go through and invest in the hard times and processes now so that you can enjoy amazing marital fulfillment in the long run.
  • Always keep learning and always keep investing in your marriage.
  • When we couldn’t make love for health reasons, we’d talk about it so that he is not thinking that I don’t care.
  • I just feel so badly for so many couples that have basically a non-existent sex life.
  • It’s amazing how life looks brighter for him after we have sex.
  • Don’t fall into the trap of thinking “sex is his thing.” No, “sex is our thing”.
  • Treat your husband like he is your knight in shining armor.

Transcript

0:00
delight your marriage episode 11.

0:03
Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast, this show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host, belah rose.

0:21
Hey there, it’s belah, I hope all is going well with you. I just want to imagine what you’re doing right now, maybe you’re walking the dog, or you’re at the gym, or maybe you’re doing some things around your house or in the car. I mean, I just wish I could see what was going on in your heart in your life right now. But I’m hoping that this will be the next, you know, 30 to 40 minutes, just an opportunity for you to relax, enjoy, get caught up in someone else’s story and how they look at life, and what does it mean, to have intimacy in your marriage. And that’s what this podcast is all about to really encourage and inspire you to live wholeheartedly in your marriage. And, you know, really to the glory of God. So, today, I’ve got a treat Carrie, once again. So this is part two, this is the second half of her awesome interview, you can find the first one at delight your marriage.com/ten because that’s an episode 10. But she just can’t just share so openly and honestly and bravely with us, you know, the areas of intimacy that she struggled with and areas that she’s really found some amazing keys to help with. And I just appreciate that, because she recognizes that you have to be specific, you’ve got to be clear about what you’re talking about. Otherwise, it’s not really going to help anyone. So I really appreciate Carrie for doing that. And so without further ado, here’s the interview.

2:07
Carrie, thank you so much for sharing that really challenging struggle that you all had. But I’m interested in telling us about a wonderful time that you had in your marriage.

2:18
Call it a wonderful time. But we actually, shortly after we started our website, because, you know, the nature of some of the topics that we covered. There was we had some people publicly put us down, I’ll say speak that negatively about what we were doing. And it, it came like totally, they were blindsided, we didn’t see that coming. And it was done in a public way. But I understand that, you know, for some Christians, especially an older generation, this was like, they weren’t comfortable with what we were doing. But it’s in a public way to say that we were doing something very wrong. And I’m not going to share too many details about it. But it was, it was a really tough, stormy time in our lives. And, surprisingly, what helped us get through that storm was the fact that our marriage was so strong, and to hear our website about marriage being attacked, but our marriage was what helped us get through that time. And it’s so actually like us through the website as well, you might find this for yourself too, as you’re working to delight your marriage. But if you start focusing on that, even like by writing things, or having conversations, like yourself, starts to benefit more than even people that might read or listen like so that has to

4:02
agree with that so far.

4:06
So it’s like I think I’ve heard before the best way to learn something is to teach it. And so that applies here with you know, God’s design for marriage, whether it’s sexual intimacy or emotional or you know, the other areas of marriage and so that’s almost like a really good tip is if we all started websites about marriage benefit rate for so. So I know I can’t call that a wonderful time but Gemini but we think back to that, like we don’t we don’t have negative pain for like, it was difficult. But we just like we held each other we like there was nothing Like, we comforted each other at that time, that was so hard when we felt like so exposed in a, in a negative way. And yes, it was people that, that love us and are close to us that we’re, we’re not approval, but proving what we did. So that was really painful. But our own relationship we were like, it’s almost like when you’re when your relationship is good, like you could take on the world. You know, it may not be fun, but you just get strength and comfort to each other and so special.

5:37
Yes, yes. I just love that. I think that’s an amazing insight also, for our listeners of if you’re in a struggle, if you’re in the stormy season, or if, you know if the vulnerability that you really need to be with your husband is is a challenge right now. It ultimately, a good marriage is worth it, you know, it’s worth it

5:59
to invest in it however you can. It’ll pay off. Yeah.

6:07
That’s incredible. Yes. And I’d love to hear what you think. If you can dub it down to kind of three things that you would say, US are the central things to our marital success? What would you say

6:21
they were okay. Well, we, we, it’s easy for us to actually define. One thing is, we tried to have weekly date nights. And that has been challenging at times, like when there’s a newborn, but we’ve gotten so good at carrying car seats into the restaurant. And I’ve always been a breastfeeding mom. And so you know, get good at doing that in public places nice and discreetly. And, but it was, like, we didn’t necessarily let that hold us back from having our date nights. And so we took it was something that was a marriage seminar at our church, like we had been married, I think, five years. And we already had two children. So we listen to this couples share about marriage, and they challenge everybody for doing a weekly date night. And yeah, so all these couples that are there nodding our heads, yes, that’s a good idea. And I don’t know if anybody that was there has continued doing that, except for Gemini. And we, it’s been great, because in date night doesn’t mean just go to a movie, and share popcorn, like it’s there. That’ll be some times that we do. But it’s also sometimes just going to have a coffee together, just alone, and where we need to talk about our goal, like, you know, beginning in January, and that’s kind of what we’re focusing on right now. And what do you want 2015 to look like for us? You know? Or do we have any priorities want to make sure happen? And they talking about some things that are like, it’s about us. And our relationship, it’s not just about yet. When we’re younger, yeah, we got the babysitter, and we went out and spent the money at a restaurant, like being more intentional. So that’s one thing.

8:27
I just want to mention what you said. So weekly, date nights. For our listeners. This is Carrie who’s speaking, who’s got nine kids, she works at the church, she runs a website, she’s written books and resources. And yet, she makes sure that every single week, since she had only two kids at home, she made sure that this is a priority. And that is a key. So ladies take that. If she can do it, you can figure it out. Make that date night. That’s wonderful. Go ahead to the second one.

9:00
Okay. The one that I talked about, I actually alluded to before was the need for me, especially for me to recognize Jim. And so the whole sexual intimacy and the value and importance of it in our marriage. And I know that, you know, we can say that. Yeah, Jim. That’s probably his number one need. My number one need is feeling cherished. Feels. Yeah, that’d be pretty simply. But I would not ever say that I don’t sex because I do. Because somehow, like I realized that men really connect emotionally through physical intimacy. But it’s amazing how after we’ve, it’s like it’s lovemaking. It’s not just physical orgasms happening here. But there’s such a emotional closeness that I’m feeling as well. So I want to choose me attorney. I think for a lot of us women that don’t really, we don’t think that’s the first thing that we need. But it’s, we do still need it more than we think we do. But it was his turn, he’s like, I can just call it that. It kind of was a lightbulb, time for me to understand the value of sexual intimacy. And I think that another third thing, which I just mentioned before, was us doing the website. Like, it really helped us to keep our marriage a priority. Because we’re gonna we’re writing and thinking about marriage topics. I think those are three pretty important ones that impacted our marriage.

11:11
Yeah. And I would say to the listeners, if, you know, if God’s not calling you to start a website, intimacy or on marriage, that’s okay. The point is, I think, I think, is really to, to prioritize marriage and to recognize the importance that it has in your life, and that it deserves you taking some extra time to learn about maybe some of destructive habits that you’ve been doing to your husband, or vice versa, or it, it’s worth the investment in your time and your focus, because, I mean, look at what a wonderful future you could have with your, with your husband with you said 24 kids now it total is that what it was,

11:53
if I include Gemini and all of our kids, and like, the whole group, like when we get together for Christmas Eve to be 24.

12:02
That’s just incredible. That’s just incredible. You know, I know that it’s a beautiful vision of a possible future for you and your husband. I’m speaking to let your marriage listeners have that, that that could be something along those lines getting together for New Year’s Eve. I mean, I know I come from divorced family, and so that will never happen. We won’t ever get together for a family occasion like that. And you can give that gift to your kids, you know, you can invest now, take the time, you know, go through that hurt and process that you need to to get on the other side and make an incredible future for yourself.

12:43
Absolutely, yes. Yes. Like if even if it’s not a website, like you said, that thing, investing in learning like a gym, and I never want to feel, we don’t feel as though we’ve arrived. There’s always like, in that, like five love languages, that was really key also. And it’s so I think Gary Chapman, he actually did a bit of a Canadian Tour of speaking. And we made sure that we were able to attend one of his sessions not too far from where we live. But like I’ve read the book, but it’s still no, let’s go hear it again. Or let’s do we’re starting together a little library in our home of marriage book. So reading like ourselves, like, keep investing, keep learning. So I really liked how you mentioned that about, always keep learning together. I

13:42
love that. I love that after 32 years of marriage, it’s incredible. Still learning. Mm hmm. I love it. And I think I think it’s a habit it’s obviously something you all have done from the get go where, you know, one of the first books you mentioned so that’s a lifestyle choice and I think that’s awesome. So I’d love to ask you know, we’ve talked about intimacy a lot so far but I’m interested in if you could share a tip that wives can even implement maybe today or tonight in their in their intimacy that would be

14:14
helpful. Well, I was thinking about this and something that I don’t know what made like no one told me to do this. But pretty much from when I first got married I pretty much always go to bed naked. Like the only time I might wear something is I do have some sexy lingerie. So you know and that’s that’s a real treat for my husband because there’s no matter so visual arouse that way but I I’m sure like I there’ll be time deals. I went to the hospital kind of Baby. Well, there were something there for sure. But basically I don’t know. It’s like, I don’t even think about that. Think about it now, but it’s like, get into bed and immediately it’s skin to skin. You’re, it’s not. I don’t have to. It’s not because it happens all the time. I’m not thinking, Oh, but if I do he’s gonna think that afternoon to have sex and I’m not too tired tonight. Or you know, like, it’s, it’s not it’s just what i i just love being cozy like cuddling. And so it’s I don’t know, like, maybe and maybe then it gets getting past that feeling. Or the hurdle of? Well, yes, making this image. We’re gonna have sex and like, it’s almost like you begrudge it a bit? But no, it’s like, you know, what is there? There’s there’s still a physical intimacy when you don’t have sex, but because your skin to skin like, and he gets this so enjoy your body and you can feel really close to him. And yeah, yeah, no, I also know I’m, I’m speaking from a way like I really some women, it’s they’re totally opposite. They easily get around, they got a high sex drive and your husband and he doesn’t give and I don’t argue aren’t in that kind of situation where the opposite heatwave the higher sex drive. But that’s an easy tip that somebody could start tonight. Yes, yeah. And it’s free. Yeah. Not a whole lot of prep, you have to do No.

16:52
Dairy, I’m interested, um, you know, something that’s been helpful in my marriage, I would say my marriage is similar to yours, where, you know, my husband, really, it’s a high priority need for him, I mean, the highest more than likely. And something that’s helped me is to really have a sense of how frequently is ideal for him. And, I mean, it would be multiple times a day, actually, but because I’m not quite so I don’t have that much energy in me, especially waking up with a newborn. Um, but, but something that helps me is to think about, Okay, a couple of times a week would be would be a really good. I would feel success in that area of our marriage. If we kind of did a couple of times a week, is that something that’s helpful for you? Or how do you kind of gauge it?

17:48
I think someone has asked me that before. And the answer I gave was, probably have sex. What’s ideal is a bit more than what you’re doing right now. I know for for Gemini, it’s, you know, been, you know, goes up and down a bit. But there was a long time, I’d say within the past year, where it’s been like morning sex happens every day. And then, sometimes, no, to be honest, I was not always having orgasms. Myself. Like it wasn’t mutual. But I was totally fine with that. And, and Jim would always ask and offer but but then, you know, there are times like, battling some illness or whatever. Actually, I didn’t bring it up at all. But three and a half years ago, I had a ruptured brain aneurysm. That’s pretty serious. And so thankfully, God, he kept me spared my life. I was unconscious, and then I ended up having an eight hour brain surgery. But I, God, he would go, like, took care of me and I, I’ve never had to have one single appointment or therapy of any kind. Like, my speech was fine. I knew everybody. My personality didn’t change. I could walk, talk, move everything. I didn’t have to stay in the hospital for three weeks. Because they really monitor you because I was at risk of having a stroke. But it was just I did not know I had an aneurysm which most people who have them don’t know they have it but but it just ruptured and I passed down and thankfully, Jim was there and I would take care of the hospital but the recovery from that football through to the hospital. And it was just something I thought about a lot when I was home because I actually went through a period of time of some depression and anxiety. And that is, like, I’ve never experienced anything like that before I had panic attacks. And we realized that was probably triggered by my lack of sleep. Because I couldn’t, I was having insomnia really badly. And so I, I remember, like, expect that your three weeks in the hospital come home and fall, right, you know what we should we should have sex until the day I come home, but like, that wasn’t happening. I wasn’t feeling strong enough or like, you know, like, hazard, large vision in my head and, like, kind of be careful. And but it was I knew enough that it was too important. So sometimes even improvising if I can use that word. I don’t know. Like, if it was too difficult to have intercourse, then what? Bring Jim to orgasm using my hands. And I’m still, you know, venturing in other areas. You know, but the like, just like, I still knew that it was important. I don’t know how I got onto this topic here. So I’m sorry if I got us off on a rabbit trail. But it’s Oh, I know what the eventually over time, we picked up and started having sex more often. And it was. But we talked about it for sure. Because it wasn’t like, a Jim had to keep thinking, wow, you know, I don’t dare initiate anything, but he’s not initiating. And when are we ever gonna have sex again? Or? Like, it wasn’t like that? I still do I should try or what do you think we can do? Or? No, I think if we, like we just talk about it. She’s not thinking that I don’t care. I did I just physic I just physically or even like emotionally at that time where I was had that depression and anxiety.

22:34
That was really challenging. But it so we at least know that you’re, you’re doing whatever you can to try so that you don’t have long, long time. I feel so bad for how many couples pretty much have no existence. That’s why it’s actually something that needs to feel close. And when it’s both husband and wife giving that relationship taking this given? Yeah. And it’s like, oh, go ahead.

23:13
Well, I was just gonna say it sounds like even in the kind of recognizing that, yes, it’s something that you need as well. But it’s something that your husband really, it’s a higher priority for him. So yeah, you’ve been, you’re keeping that in mind is is to kind of, would you say he might set the pace in terms of frequency are not, not that he’s always the one that is initiating, but in terms of how frequent it happens? It’s probably because of his need that

23:46
yes, yeah, I would say so. Be very easy for me to turn him on. So I’m not I’m not even trying to add, it happens, but it’s all good. So I think I really should now. Yeah, she probably initiate more than I do. So there are some times when it’s, believe it or not, he doesn’t want it. But I can tell it’s because he’s actually feeling a bit depressed. Or he doesn’t have thankfully there’s only battled depression. But there might be, you know, just some stuff weighing on him or he got something that’s really worrying about. And I just know that it’s amazing how his life looks brighter for him after we’ve had sex and so I just I know that it I’ll push through and press through and I can eventually change his mind and he decides, yeah, I think I do want to have sex after all. We laugh about that, that I get to say Yeah, I was Victor I call girl. It’s a lot of fun actually. Yeah. That’s too funny. But I, yeah, he probably does. We wouldn’t be having sex as often if it weren’t for a lot of kids watching it. Asking and or non verbally Making Moves.

25:30
Right. Right. I wanted to pull that out a little bit, because I think as a wise wife, you recognize that import, and not necessarily, and then you are even initiating. It’s not that you’re just okay. Well, I’ll just relent and go ahead and let him you know, did it? No, you’re actually taking an active role in making sure his needs are met? Yeah. Which I just love? Yeah. I mean, I even go ahead. Sorry. Go for

26:05
knowing that, like, Okay, I wouldn’t feel my top need is being cherished or affirmed. Affirmation was pretty important for me, and quality times would be like, I’d like that. But I still, I recognize that, yes, sex is in need. Even if it’s not always a want. It’s a need. Like, I may not want sex right now. But I there gathered some of those times, I need it, just because I’m for our marriage. And, like, I need sex, because of how it just makes us so close. And we’re so lucky to bond in such a great way.

26:57
Yes, I love that. And I think sometimes, when women maybe hear hear a message like this, they might get it construed in their mind that, okay, I need to just serve Him in this way. And that’s, you know, that’s the whole point. I just have to and sometimes Yeah, it is a service, sometimes that is part of, you know, the, we serve each other, you know, for sure, but I would even say for my experience a lot is that when I commit to the experience in my mind, that, you know, when I like you, I’m a planner. So when I’m like, okay, you know, we’ve got some time now this is a good data, when I committed in my mind, all of a sudden that starts changing gears in my body. But it’s not until my mind get that gets there first. And so I’ve got to kind of maybe put it on my schedule, or just really have a mental note that this is what’s happening. And and the other thing that’s helpful for me also is initiating actually, because it sounds like I’m also like you with when I initiate I am fully present and engaged. Yeah, almost a lot quicker than if he’s initiating it. Sometimes it takes me a while to wind down from my day or whatever else is on my mind. Yeah, what would you say about that?

28:17
Yes, I think that is, yeah, for me, it’s not thinking that oh, that’s Texas, who thinks? No, it’s ours. You know, so it’s not it. That’s when the initiating is for us. It’s not just oh, yeah, I’m doing it for him. Or, Oh, I’m just serving him. It’s like you said it, there is very much about serving one another. It’s sort of like this fine line of how we you know, or attitude or thinking about it. And it can make a difference. Or it will how things work. For sure.

28:58
Yeah, I Yeah. I think that’s wonderful. And, and even, like you said, you might not you might not even realize that you need sex. And then after the experience you it’s it’s a it’s a whole new world when you feel so connected, love and you know, it’s it’s something amazing that God designed to make sure that marriages are solid. Yes, experience is significant. It’s just amazing.

29:30
It’s because it’s only between a husband and a wife. You know, like we mate. I may have you know, some great friendships out there, but nothing in comparison to how Gemini like we’re each other’s best friends. We’re each other’s lovers. Yeah, we take take care of like, I feel so cared for by him and I he feels the thing about fate. i He appreciate so much that I that I Be intentional about our sexual relationship. And yeah, it’s for where it’s not for him, it’s for us.

30:15
Well, as we’re kind of wrapping up to the thoughtful take, I’m interested in due to the specific marriage that you’ve had, and and you’ve, you’ve hit on these a bit, but I wondered if you had another answer? What opportunities have you had to really serve God? Through your marriage?

30:35
Yeah. I think I’ve had the privilege to mentor some young women. And it’s like, especially when it’s about private things like, you know, with their own sexuality, or she preparing for marriage, or young married women. And then for couples who are struggling, like we’ve done the pre marriage classes, and we’ve taught marriage courses, that it’s just really an honor, because it’s whether your marriage is going really well or struggling, it’s still something feels private. And, and we’re not. Unfortunately, there’s some, some situations that we’re sad and like, it’s not as though we’re able to just fix it at all, but we just want to be for marriages, and try to come alongside and encourage as much as we can. So So that’s been kind of close to home, and, you know, beat my husband been pastor, the church, and we had selfies, performing marriages. And you won’t do that unless a couple of takes pre marriage class. And it’s really great to be able to defer some of the overflow from our own lives. But you know, as well, we’re teaching a course on it. I’d say also, that our website is where we’re honored that it has blessed people. You know, we started this as a hobby, we didn’t think that it would reach a lot of people, but it’s, for us being able to not spend very much time on it, if you’re so happy with the influence that it’s had. And it’s not just among Christian men or women, but even just federal public, we had somebody contact us from I think, was Indonesia, a Muslim woman, and she says, I like some of your information. Would you be okay, if I translated some of it? And see, so. And last I heard she was still working on that. And so we were glad to share it. But I, we won’t even know what exactly the influences been. But I will we initially started, there was one couple that contacted us and said, We think that your marriage, your website has saved our marriage. And it was like we talked earlier about they what they did was they just used articles as a platform for discussion. Just they weren’t talking. And now they started talking about the issues. And I’m glad that they’re happy married right now. And that was back seven years ago. And so it was like, we didn’t have any grand ideas of what would happen, and we still don’t, but I I feel like God has been able to use the resources that we’ve put together. And if it can save marriages, that’s awesome. And if it can help good marriages getting better, that’s awesome.

34:12
That’s right. That’s right. And, yeah, incredible. And you don’t even know the ripple effect of how many marriages maybe that one couple that they’ve been able to affect, and it’s just

34:22
incredible. Yeah.

34:25
Well, can I ask you if there’s specifically either a book or program or resource that you can recommend with either wives that are struggling in the same ways that you have or? Yeah,

34:38
sure. I really enjoyed Shannon Etheridge his book, The sexually confident wife, and it’s it’s an easy read. And it talks about some things like that. Give us some Wrong Thinking that addresses that, that really practical and some of it is like, can make you laugh or whatever. But it’s a really appreciate Shannon’s vision she has for helping women, breastfeed the sexually confident wife. And it’s been quite a while since I read it now. I think I read it when it was first published. But I’m partway through Sheila Ray Gregoire book, The Good Girls Guide to great sex, and the subtitle and you thought Bad Girls have all the fun. So again, she’s she’s a really great communicator. But again, you know, sometimes it’s the wrong thinking about our body or wrong thinking about sex, or like. So that was a good one, and I’ve just started a new one, I wouldn’t know how to pronounce it. It’s the word sex, spelled backwards, X vs. Y, Y, Christian girls will often get it backwards. And I just started that one. Then Then other non, or non sex topics, there was a book called The surrendered wife, by Laura Doyle. And it just challenged me because, as I said, I’m quite administrative. I like making lists and organizing stuff and taking control. You don’t have to be careful, don’t become a control freak. But when it comes to my husband, he doesn’t really need me to be his mother, and you know, to take care of everything. And like, he’s, he’s an adult, himself, but he can. So it was recognized when I wrote that book, that there’s probably some areas where I’m kind of overstepping. So when challenging and it’s still tough for me sometimes is when he’s driving, you know, whether it’s, I think he’s speeding, or whether it’s, you know, he’s pulling into a parking lot. And I’m telling him, Oh, you park over there, you know, like, he’s your eyes, he could probably figure out where to park. So some of it wasn’t, you know, when I talked to him about it, he wasn’t insulting. Uh, yeah, like that really bothers me every time to do that. He was being very gracious. But I knew for myself, I just I mean, I need to just think the best of him and just like, trust them. So there was that, just remember that book kind of challenged me to a few things. Just it was very practical. Sure. There are so many great resources out there. And oh, I can highlight that we have some of our website, ebooks, ebooks that we’ve written. So I can put a plug in for that. But yeah, so there?

38:20
Are there any ebooks that you’ve written that you’d like to specifically highlight for our listeners that would be helpful for them?

38:28
Well, the seems to be our signature most popular ebook for is the seven days sex challenge. And we kind of call it it’s an in home Marriage Course. It’s just between husband and wife. And it’s yes, it does talk about having sex for seven days in a row. But it’s more than that. Because it’s like, I remember when Jim and I first did seven days I challenge myself before we made it public. We incorporated a part of it where you actually be a form of your wedding vows to each other every day. Like you’re doing it by like it’s not it’s not a long script. But you know, when you’re holding each other’s hands, and you’re looking yourselves his eyes, and you say those words, it’s like, I just I got emotional like it really moved me. And so there’s some things are like and do that every day is like for seven days, and then tying in with having sex and others and there was other parts to it. But it was like that we felt so close. And it’s almost like a great thing to do every once in a while. Yeah, it doesn’t hurt that for sure. So, but anyways, it’s um it’s the I know The title is not a provocative, but it’s saying and it is a challenge to seven days in a row. That takes time, you know, but that it really has positive results. Like it just, it doesn’t necessarily mean Oh, yeah, now, you know, our sex is better than ever before. It’s not about that it was more about just intimacy happening on every level.

40:33
That’s awesome. That’s awesome. And I and the last, before we wrap up, I would just love to ask, maybe even in a sentence, if you can, what would be if you sat yourself down in year one of your marriage? What would be one piece of advice that you could give you?

40:55
Okay, so I did think about this a little bit. And I think I would like to tell wives regard your husband, as your prince in shining armor, regardless of whether you think he deserves that title or not. I just again, I think it’s a our wrong thinking sometimes can impact what we think about our husband and and that starts to pull out in just how we interact. And so if we’re thinking less of him, we don’t even expect much. It’s amazing how often that’s all we’ll get is not as much, but so I don’t know, just, it sort of brought me back to the verse I read from Proverbs 19, I think, but overlooking a fence and was like, Yeah, even. Even just thinking so the best about your husband, she’s your prince in shining armor. That’s what I think about Jim. He’s like, I just love them to death. So

42:11
that’s so incredible. 32 years of marriage, and that’s what she has to say about her husband. So that’s, that’s a great sign. Um, well, I mean, I could just go on and on and talk to you all day. And I wish I could. And so I want to, it really is. So can I ask you, before we say goodbye, is, would you be willing to share how your audience can connect to you find you social media, however, ways?

42:39
Okay. Our website is the internet couple.com. And you do do Twitter, and we do Facebook. And we have a on our website, I think there’s a contact form that they understood, like I was looking for something specific. And do you have this on your website? Or, you know, we do have a search bar on our website that if you’re thinking, Well, I just want to find any of their articles or the questions. We’ve done some question and answer pages there as well. talking specifically about a certain topic, then use that search tool and see what comes up. And it’s a great place to start if you’re looking for something specific.

43:34
Wonderful. Well, Carrie, I just cannot thank you enough just for being so open and sharing your heart and your wisdom. It’s just been incredible. Really, thank you so much for all of this.

43:46
Yeah. And so I you really kind words there, I am just an ordinary person. No, like, I don’t think of me as a sex goddess or anything like that. But like I said, we’re not sex therapists. But I. But I do feel like between my husband and I, we have made a great team in our marriage. And so that’s where the the wisdom is actually coming from both of whatever I shared today, I think. So thank you, Bella, for, for inviting me and I am looking forward to some of the other guests that you’re going to be having on their delight your marriage podcast.

44:27
Wow, Carrie, thank you so much. It was just such a pleasure to hear from you and hear from your heart and your experience. I feel like I could listen to Kerry all day long. I don’t know if you’re anything like me, but she just has so much wisdom and yet so much humility in the midst of that and I’m really grateful that she was willing to share so openly about her marriage and so that we can all learn and grow and become better and I love that it’s so clear that They really take care of each other in their marriage. I mean, it sounds like she really honors what’s most important to her husband. And he does the same for her. And she said at the end how much she feels taken care of and cherished. I just love that. So what a beautiful picture of marriage, definitely check out her resources that she mentioned, that’s all going to be linked up at delight your marriage.com/eleven you can go there, all the books are linked to there. All of her website, the materials that she mentioned. Further, I want to encourage you if you haven’t already, well, first of all, I just want to thank everyone that has reviewed the podcast on iTunes. You mean the world to me, really, I read each one of those reviews, and it’s so encourages me and I really appreciate that you do that because it helps other people find the podcast easier. So if you haven’t done that yet, I would really appreciate it. You also have the opportunity. If you do it before next week, you have the opportunity to be entered into a drawing to win a free delight your husband course, if you go to delight your marriage.com/review I have all the specifics on how to review it so you can be entered into the drawing. So please go there. I am so grateful that you joined me today. Thank you so much. And you mean a lot to me. And I just pray for you and your marriage and your family and that God would be so present in your lives the rest of this week. Thanks again for listening. I’ll talk soon. Bye.

46:38
Thanks for listening. If you’ve been blessed by this, why not share it? Until next time, live with love, wisdom and passion.