I didn’t enjoy sex, I felt like it was a chore and more for my husband than for both of us. I didn’t even know what I wanted in sex,what feels good and how to pursue it. Having grown up in the “Purity” movement of the 90’s, I learned that I was supposed to stay “pure” and say no to sex until I was married. Reflecting back to that time, I realize that I didn’t know what to do with the sexual feelings I had and so I learned to shut them down.

Then when I got married (over 18 years ago!) it was difficult to all of the sudden turn them back on. I didn’t have anyone that I could talk to about these sensitive issues. I have a few close friends, but we definitely would not talk as candidly and specifically about sex as I am able to do with Belah. Nor do my friends have the information and understanding that Belah has around sexual issues. I have read a variety of books about sexual intimacy in marriage and while there has been helpful content, it has been even more helpful to have one-on-one coaching sessions with Belah to talk about these things. In our one-on-one coaching, Belah helped me become more aware of my body’s sexual feelings.

Belah has given me simple exercises to do regularly to help me connect with my own body as well as with my husband. She has helped me learn that sexual intimacy is just as much for me as it is for my husband. We may pursue it in different ways and that is ok. Orgasm does not always have to be the culmination or goal of a sexual encounter.

By investing in a coaching package with Belah, I have been more intentional about learning about sexual intimacy in marriage, pursuing pleasure, and making time to connect regularly with my husband. Having scheduled coaching calls with Belah has been really helpful to talk about what is going well and also what is challenging. The benefits and results I’m enjoying now is a mindset shift around sexual intimacy.

I feel more positive about sex and there are more times where I look forward to connecting with my husband, rather than dreading it like I used to. Now, I’m looking forward to how we are growing in expressing our covenant love to each other. Now, I have more confidence to pursue my own pleasure. Now, I have hope for our future intimacy in marriage to become even more mutually fulfilling. I wish I’d worked with her many years ago; every newlywed wife should work with her!