The Crisis Facing Marriages Today

A data-informed look at why this work matters

Before we talk about hope and healing, we need to be honest about the world our husbands and wives are living in. The numbers below are not meant to shock for the sake of shock—but to show the depth of pain and confusion couples are carrying into marriage, often silently, even while sitting in our church pews.

Each statement is grounded in reputable research, with links to original sources.

1. Sexual Violence Is Devastatingly Common

“Over half of women and almost one in three men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact during their lifetimes.”
(source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2016/2017, summarized on the CDC “About Sexual Violence” page)

  • CDC summary: “Over half of women and almost one in three men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact during their lifetimes.” (CDC)

Link to source:

2. Pornography Is Discipling the Church

“54% of practicing Christians report viewing pornography at least occasionally.”
(source: Barna Group & Pure Desire Ministries, 2024)

  • Barna, in partnership with Pure Desire Ministries, reports that 54% of practicing Christians consume pornography at least occasionally. (Barna Group)

Links to sources:

3. Cohabitation Has Become the Norm for Many Younger Adults

“59% of adults under 45 have lived with an unmarried partner.”
(source: Pew Research Center)

  • Pew’s analysis of adults ages 18–44 finds that 59% have lived with an unmarried partner at some point, compared with 50% who have ever been married. (Pew Research Center)

Links to sources:

4. Divorce Still Deeply Marks Many Marriages

“Of those who do get married, about 40% are projected to end in divorce.”
(source: Institute for Family Studies / Grant Bailey, 2025)

  • A 2025 cohort analysis from the Institute for Family Studies estimates that about 40% of today’s first marriages will end in divorce, based on current trends. (Institute for Family Studies)

Links to sources:

5. Sexless and Low-Intimacy Marriages Are Widespread

“Roughly 1 in 7 U.S. married couples meet common definitions of a ‘sexless marriage’, and among married couples under 60, about 1 in 4 report having sex once a month or less.”
(sources: Donnelly, Journal of Sex Research 1993 as summarized in Psychology Today; General Social Survey 2021 summarized by Sermo; additional Psychology Today synthesis)

  • Psychology Today, summarizing Donnelly’s 1993 Journal of Sex Research study and subsequent work, notes that about 15% of couples report no or very little sex with their partner over the past month and year—about 1 in 7. (Psychology Today)
  • Another Psychology Today article reports that about 15% of men and women report no or little sex with their partner in the past month and in the past year. (Psychology Today)
  • Analyses of recent General Social Survey data show that among married couples under 60, roughly 1 in 4 (around 25%) report having sex once a month or less. (Summarized in physician/sex research commentary such as Sermo and similar outlets.) (Psychology Today)

Links to sources:

(Note: The 1-in-7 and ~25% figures are based on different thresholds—“sexless” vs. “very low frequency”—which is why we describe them separately in the sentence.)

6. Sexual Issues Are a Leading Cluster of Reasons for Divorce

“Sexual issues—including infidelity, loss of sexual connection, and pornography—consistently show up among the leading reasons couples give for divorce.”
(sources: NCBI ‘Reasons for Divorce’ study PMC4012696; American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers [AAML] reports; American Sociological Association [ASA] research on marital breakdown)

  • A major peer-reviewed study of U.S. divorces found that infidelity, “growing apart” (often including loss of intimacy), and high conflict ranked among the most commonly cited reasons for divorce. (CDC)
  • Surveys of divorce attorneys conducted through or cited by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers consistently list adultery/infidelity and sexual incompatibility among the primary contributing factors in divorce cases.
  • Research associated with the American Sociological Association shows that infidelity and sexual dissatisfaction dramatically increase the likelihood of divorce, placing sexual issues within the top cluster of reasons marriages end.

Links to core sources:

  • NCBI (U.S. National Library of Medicine) – “Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention” (PMC4012696):
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4012696/
  • American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers – main site (their publications and member surveys provide “top causes of divorce” data that frequently highlight infidelity and sexual issues):
    https://www.aaml.org/
  • ASA-linked and sociological work on infidelity and divorce risk (example explainer):
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4012696/ (discussion section covers infidelity as a primary factor and references additional sociological work)

Why These Numbers Matter for Ministry

Taken together, this research paints a sobering picture:

  • Many men and women in our congregations have deep sexual trauma in their histories.
  • Pornography use is widespread, even among those we would call “practicing Christians.”
  • Cohabitation and shifting relational norms mean fewer couples enter marriage with a shared, biblical vision of covenant.
  • A significant share of marriages still end in divorce, and even more are quietly living in low-intimacy or sexless patterns.
  • Sexual brokenness—infidelity, pornography, and loss of intimacy—is not peripheral; it consistently appears in the top reasons couples give when their marriages fall apart.

This is the mission field Delight Your Marriage serves every day:
real husbands and wives, in real churches, facing real pain.