I didn’t feel I could give the specificity I’d like to on a public platform like a podcast or website. So I’m including VERY practical understandings and examples you can use immediately in this course! Many, many examples!

Packed in this course:

And loads more… check it out, here!

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Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host, belah rose.

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Hey there, and welcome. I’m so grateful that you’re joining me today. If this is your first time with the show, this is a safe place where we talk about marital intimacy. And what I want to really focus in on is seduction. Now I am in the midst of releasing a course called the seduction course, which I’m really excited about. And a lot of women have already signed up, which is really exciting. And what I’ve decided to do is actually release the content one week at a time. So essentially, for those that have already signed up, and those that sign up this week, you’ll get it at the lowest price possible. The following week, I will release the first part of the course. And then the price will go up. So I want to make sure that essentially, it’s a motivator, for those that go with me on this course will actually complete the full course, it almost helps you to pace yourself instead of for me to give you this whole course all at once. Instead, we’re going to walk through it together, week by week, because that’s ultimately what’s going to change you is if you do the work. And if I’m giving you way too much work to do. You got plenty of stuff on your plate, I’m, I think it might be overwhelming. So I want to give you that time. But ultimately, what this course is going to give you are the tools and the techniques and also just the practical know how on how to seduce your husband. And then just just the language to use. What text sequences, you know, the phone conversations, the face to face conversations, what specifically to do, what actions, what activities, what makes a sex life hot and steamy? What is that? And how is it spiritually okay to be saying words that maybe you would never say anywhere else and in every other space you think are wrong. So how does it seem right? Intimacy, how does that make any sense? Well, those are conversations that I don’t feel I can give the breadth of insight in a more public forum. But in the privacy of a course, where there’s some boundary there, I feel like I can give a much more thorough conversation, a much more in depth of insight that, like I said, are not open to the public, just like a podcast is that we’re listening to right now or my website. So I want to give you that really practical stuff. I want to give you creative ideas, because maybe your heart is willing, but you just can’t think of things to do. And I absolutely know. And I’ve been in your shoes. So I want to give you that stuff. And give you that extra bit of courage. Because maybe you’ve been listening to me for a while and you’re like I want to but I just am so scared. And I I’m with you, I coach women, just like that. And, and I want to be there with you. And you don’t have to, to coach with me. You can just work with this course and go through it week by week with me that way. All right, well go to delight your marriage.com Click on Resources. And like I said, if you do it this week, it’s going to be the cheapest that it’s ever going to be. So I encourage you to do that as soon as you can. Today’s content, I think is going to be awesome for you on this specific topic. So let’s listen in

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so I got the idea for this topic, kind of from a number of different things. First of all, I’ve just heard it so many times from my girlfriends, when they’re talking about making love to their husband, or maybe they’re not talking details, but they’ll just little things will slide through that. I’m just like, Wait, why it’s so I remember this really amazing woman who’s just incredibly confident on the outside and, you know, she’s an amazing theater theater person. And she’s I’ve seen her in various shows. She’s just incredible. And then I remember some of the things that she told me about how she would seduce her husband. It felt like she was almost telling him what to do. And the thing is, as much as I want to say, well, I don’t do that. The truth is I have done that I have said things like, well, we should just make love right now. Or you should have sex with me right now. Or, you know, I was, you know, I was ready, I tried to tell you, but you didn’t understand, you know, like, we make it into this argument. And then we expect our husband to respond excitedly and wanting to make love to us. I have been there, I have done that foolishness, I really do think it’s foolishness on the part of the wife to not recognize the importance and the value of seduction for his for himself. So the other idea that was the reason this became an idea of something that I really needed to talk about on the podcast, was for Father’s Day, I got my husband, a really amazing gift. And I felt like it was thoughtful, I felt like I had a really got the thing that he would want. And you might laugh when I tell you what it is, it was a fancy coffee mug, I would say fancy because it had you know a thermos with the lid on it, and it would automatically lock closed, unless you pushed a certain lever so that, you know my little two, munchkins run around, wouldn’t be able to knock it off the table and spill it. And my husband loves coffee. I don’t know what it is about him. But whenever I say would you like some coffee, honey, when I make him coffee in the morning, he just gets so excited. So I had felt like I had the perfect coffee, a perfect perfect Father’s Day present, which was this coffee cup. So I want to tell you the the process of how I gave it to him because studies show that people enjoy experiences and events more when there’s anticipation of the event, the event itself and then there’s I’m not sure what the word is, but almost like reflection, reflecting back on the event later. So that’s if you want like the best bang for your buck in terms of experiences, make sure there’s anticipation, enjoy it in the moment, and then also have that reflection period where you bring it back to your memory to just remember how wonderful it was. So with that idea in mind, I had gone with my little boys to the target to pick out this coffee cup. And I had made sure that everyone was in a good attitude we had brought the wagon to the to the store. So I just felt like it was a really great experience I was having just purchasing it for him. So I felt very authentic when I was like I’m so excited to give this to you. Because it’s you know, sometimes gifts get really strange. And we get resentful of a gift we’re trying to give. And that also makes sense with merit with with sex life when we’re trying to seduce him. And we get really weird about you know, I did all this work for him. And he didn’t, you know, he didn’t, whatever. It’s just it’s really the enemy just wants to steal the joy from that gift. So don’t let him do that. Anyway, let’s go back to this father’s the president we got we bought it at the target. We got home I and I think for a couple of weeks, maybe two weeks before Father’s Day, I was kind of teasing him about this gift. So I knew that he had lost the other coffee mug, I knew that he was having to use our coffee mug that didn’t have a lid. And each time it almost spilled I would be like, Oh my gosh, honey, what if that had spilled it would have made this big mess. Or every time you know, the kids were trying to get at it and almost burn themselves. Oh my gosh, honey, that was just so awful. I wish you had something better than just these little coffee mugs. And so I was just teasing him about it to make him really desire something better, something more. And even the days leading up to it. I remember asking him and if you’ve been with the podcast for a while, you know my husband loves soccer. So I remember asking him on a scale of one to 10. And we use that a lot on a scale of one to 10

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How much do you want a coffee mug? And he said 10. And the fact that he said 10 instead of because of my other thought I was going to give him was a game to a ticket to a game so we could all go as a family. And the fact that he said that for a coffee mug. I was like okay, I am really doing well in terms of teasing him he is really desiring this coffee mug. So finally it was the day I gave him the gift. And he was so excited. And he was like honey, this is exactly what I wanted. How did you know? And then I started to tell him all the thought that went into this and how many times I teased him and all this stuff and he didn’t even realize he did not have any idea and yet he was so craving this mug and then I was I gave it to him and it was just the best thing ever. So he said that I have got to put it on myself. I guess he told me that a couple months ago, because he said, You really know how to make a man want it. And so it was interesting because I hadn’t even put the connection. That seduction is just that that’s exactly what it is. So that’s what we’re going to talk about today. I want to dive into next, you know, why seduction matters. So, again, we use this rating one to 10. We use it so often in our marriage, when we’re trying to get something clarified between the two of us, he’ll say, on one to 10, how important is this to you, and I’ll say, you know, eight, or whatever. And that means eight is pretty close to 10. You know, one would be the bare minimum, but eight is pretty darn good. So we use that one to 10 rating a lot. So I asked my husband, I was like, okay, so I think we were, I can’t remember exactly when this conversation came up. But I asked him, so a lot of couples, I’ve heard from plenty that have a real hard time, a really hard time seducing their husband. In fact, what they generally do is keep the lights off. And, you know, have sex with the lights off. And and I asked my husband what he thought about that, like, in terms of a rating system? What is that on the one to 10 spectrum if you don’t have the lights on? So that means the husband can’t see the woman he’s in love with the woman that he’s touching, he can’t see his wife. So that was lights off. The other one I asked him is what about when he starts when the man starts? You know, when he initiates. The other one I asked him is what about when you start? What about when the wife starts things off? And then lastly, what about when she seduces him? Okay, so I asked him one to 10, what are these? So he said lights off is a level one. One to 10 the lights off is a level one. Then he said, when when the man starts when he initiates sex, it’s a level four. Again, one to 10. Level four is not too spicy. What about when the wife starts? What about when she says we should make love right now? Or what if she, you know gets close to him, but she doesn’t really take any effort to seduce him to play with his mind to cause him to want it. When she starts that way with very little no seduction at all. He said that’s a level eight. So that’s a big jump from whereas when the man initiates to when the woman initiates, that’s level eight, so that’s out of one to 10 level eight is pretty high. So then I asked him, okay, so what about when the wife initiates She seduces him, she gets him fired up, ready to go excited, teases him, the whole nine yards. He said that is on a level one to 10 is a level 20 to 25. So you can see here, we’ve got lights off level one, he starts level four, you start level eight, with no seduction, or when you seduce 20 to 25. That is huge. That is huge. So my end goal from this little podcast is to get you excited about seducing your husband just get you understanding why it’s important, why it matters. And the end goal is when you feel confident, confident and comfortable seducing your husband, you’re going to feel more sexy, more desired, you’re going to have more fun and intimacy. And you’ll feel totally loved and enjoyed because you will be and he will be as well. So that’s my end goal. I’m going to tell you a little bit of my journey, just the journey that I’ve have come through around surrounding seduction. I mean,

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first of all, I was very an pretty much unable to do anything along those lines. I mean, I thought that I was not one of those sexy women. I thought my body was gross. I really didn’t understand how other women were able to you know, strip and be all sexy and dance around and things like that. Because I was like I just don’t if I had her body, maybe I would try something like that. But I don’t I wasn’t given that I’ve, you know, struggled with an eating disorder. Most of my life I’ve had overweight. I’ve generally been overweight most of my life. But then, you know, God did a lot of changes in my heart and I made really hard choices and I risked being silly in front of my husband over and over and over again. And slowly I became much more confident. But also I slowly changed my eating habits and my workouts and lifestyle habits that have really enhanced the way that I view my body and who I am in it and how you view your body and how you view confidence and how you view your lifestyle changes. And you know those are the really deep questions that I wish you and I could have time to go through coaching with to really get this out there. And the reason I want to tell you the reason I share my journey so much on this podcast is because what I have learned, and what studies actually suggest, what they found to be true is that I mean, they’ve studied all these different organizations, all these different programs that help people change, and even religions that help that make people different from what they are. And they found one reason, the most important reason to make people change is number one is their belief that they can change. And so that’s really why I do this podcast is that when you start listening to other women’s stories, to see where they came from, and where they are now, then it gives you hope that you can get on that journey yourself and become different. When I started out, I was humiliated, I felt like an idiot. I felt like my body was gross, I felt like the areas that my husband apparently appreciated most, I was actually the most afraid, and I couldn’t share that with him very well at all. And so I do want to kind of go into that, in our next piece here is that I need you to know that it’s gonna be scary at first, anything that’s new is scary at first. But I think the enemy makes it extra scary for some reason with intimacy, because he knows that in a marriage that’s strong in this area where a woman feels sexually free and confident and fulfilled, and able to do whatever she wants to do in marriage, or whatever her husband, it wants to have happen. I mean, that woman is fierce, the enemy can’t touch her, because she’s fear, she has this complete union with her husband, and they together are able to take on the world. So again, it’s going to be scary at first, but eventually, you’re going to get good at it. And eventually, you’re going to begin to love it. And also, if it is new to you, I just want you to know, you really should feel silly. In the beginning, there are times that you are just going to have something that you think is ridiculous on and you’re gonna, you know, whatever you decide to do. And it’s gonna feel like death. I mean, sometimes that kind of fear is like worse than death, it feels like like, I’m gonna die. This is so hard for me right now I get it, I get it, I get it. But this really matters to your marriage, again, we’re talking a level 20 to 25 out of 10. This matters. One reason this matters I want you to just think about is that how much pressure a husband has, when it’s about intimacy surrounding intimacy, I mean, so much pressure, right, he generally has to do at all he has to be the one to, to get you in the mood, and then you know, use his fingers the right way and use his, you know, all these different little things. And then he has to, you know, do a whole lot of work for quite a while. So depending on how your marriage looks, you know what I eat, you can just attribute that to whatever your marriage is like. But the thing that’s nice about seduction is you can join him in this work of excitement and joy around intimacy.

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And maybe he has to do quite a lot more work when you get started. But you can actually get things started. The other reason I think seduction is so important and so much a part of God’s will for our lives or our our lives as wives is that when a when a wife seduces her husband and actually causes her body to get in the zone. It causes, you know, things to start moving in the ways they need to be moving. And just by moving your body in seductive ways that actually helps you and you know, gets you in the attitude of lovemaking. But it’s really about getting yourself in the zone, getting yourself in the mode of seducing your spouse. Okay, so, let me talk about the steps of seduction very practically. I wrote this pretty quick, but I think this is really what I think the steps of seduction are, number one, get him to want it. Number two, tease him. Number three, give him a little number four, pull away. And number five, then give him what he wants. So obviously there’s teasing in there, there’s, you know, getting him inspire getting him excited, pulling away a little bit, a little bit, I should say. But that’s really that’s the steps that I you know, kind of use to and, of course, first of all, this is going to be awkward at first, it’s going to be hard to figure this thing out at first, but if you just try the whole teasing idea a little bit, and of course, you know, it has to all start from your conviction that you are sexy. If you were desired that your husband desires intimacy with you, that’s what it’s just got to start that way, you have got to know what God thinks about you and about your body, your body is precious, your body is amazing, you are the one who God created. So I’m going to just come back to those steps of seduction in a minute because I want to talk about some practical things to help you to seduce your husband. And then we’re going to talk about the steps once again. Some practical keys that I’ve learned really help you seduce your husband if you do them outside of the bedroom. So number one is balance is really important. If you’re anything like me, it’s very humbling when you get in front of your husband trying to do something that’s a little bit difficult, and you’d fall over. So just start by balancing on one foot when you’re like in a grocery line. For example, when you’re buying groceries or, or just just balance here and there, maybe probably not in the shower is not a great place to balance. But I just find just little opportunities to balance on one foot. And like I’m doing it right now, just because I’m talking about it. And that just helps me it’s not the easiest thing at first, but it gets better. And then slowly, you’ll become much less awkward in the bedroom as well. Another thing that I do that I find really helps is I listen to music when I am working a lot of time, so I’ll have

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you know my headphones on or even when I’m cleaning, sometimes I’ll listen to a Pandora station. Bethel happens to be my favorite, if you want a suggestion Bethel is a is a worship team, b e t h e l. But anyway, I’ll be listening to the Pandora station. And sometimes a song will come on that has a really good beat. And I will just start dancing all by myself. And that has really helped me to learn kind of how my body moves and how to move my body. And no, I don’t know how to actually dance, not even close, I’m terrible when it gets to, you know, real dancing things. But when it’s me and my husband, I can figure things out, because I’ve learned how to do it all by myself first. Another thing you can do is start to find things that make you feel sexy, right? The balance thing is something that I enjoy, that’s but I also think it helps as well as dancing by yourself that that helps me to feel sexy, but but figure out what makes you feel sexy. And maybe you’re at a place where you can’t think of those things, I’m going to challenge you pick a couple, just start doing some things. And slowly, when you start doing things, you’re going to start to find that you really like certain things or you don’t like other things, so you need to just commit to do some things that make you feel sexy, just put them on a little list of what makes me feel sexy, XY and Z and start doing those things. Another one is to treat your body. Well. You know, in my course, to let your husband I go through a guided tour of how to pray through some, some times in the shower where you are just thanking God for every detail he has given you. I think that’s vital. I think that’s really important. Because if you don’t truly get how God feels about your body, you’re not going to be able to cherish it, the to the degree that God wants you to. And that is what section is all about. It’s like, Hey, look at me. I am exactly what you’re looking for. I mean, that is what you’re doing. When you’re seducing your husband. You’re saying this is what you get to enjoy this, all of this that God gave you? Do you see that difference? When you have a level of confidence already? Already done? That hard work of confidence already is done under your belt, you can seduce your man with ease. It’s like that. And it’s fun and it’s exciting. I was just reading Proverbs, I think it’s 1430 it says something like peace is like peace brings life to the body. But envy rots the bones when you are putting your mind on things that are not of God when you are allowing your mind to compare yourself to the supermodel in the grocery store, magazine rack or you’re comparing your yourself to all these other people that is literally rotting your bones Do you see? Do you see God says that’s enough? You need to stop this. And the truth is only you only you can stop that stop spending your mind spending your thoughts on the things that are fading away. Don’t allow your body to be a such a terrible thing that God wants you to cherish. He created it he designed your body with intention. So I do encourage you

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to You had to make that a really important piece. Okay, so I want to I said, I wanted to get back to the steps of seduction, I just went through the practical keys that I think is important the balance dancing by yourself, finding things that make you feel sexy and treating your body well, as well as spending your mind on thoughts that God approves of. So again, the steps of subjection, let’s just go through them again. Number one is get him to want it. Number two, tease him number three, give him a little number four, pull away, number five, and then give him what he wants. So if you have decided, you know, even through this conversation, that you need more about God’s perspectives of sex, like maybe this doesn’t seem godly to you, maybe this whole conversation seems a little tainted with sin. I want I challenge you, you need to know what God says about sex, you need to understand the Bible’s perspective on marital intimacy because it is absolutely a okay and encouraged to seduce your husband. Now there’s one reason I didn’t go into the real depth in this audio is because a lot of husbands listen to this podcast, I think I hear from husbands more often than I hear for why from wives, I think it’s because they want this work. They need it in their, in their marriages, they want this work to continue. But the truth is because husbands listened to this podcast, I don’t want to step over my bounds in what I have to say. And so if you want the full information, you want to really dig into this, which I really encourage you because when you feel fierce and free in the bedroom, there is a freedom that you walk with. There is a there is a conviction that you walk with as a wife that says, I know my husband, I know I can make him wild at any moment. I know who my husband is, I know my role. I know who he is, as a protector of me and and that we connect and there’s unify I mean, there’s just a freedom there that you can’t get any other way. You want to become the wife that he desires, because it truly is God’s design. I believe truly for your marriage when he said the two shall become one. That’s what he was talking about. He was talking about a fierceness, a freedom. And seduction is a huge part of that. understanding who your husband is the man that he is that God created him to be, is a huge part of that. seducing that man. Ooh, that is a lot of fun. So ladies, I encourage you, you are going to do great. I know you will take the first step today. Okay, okay. Well, I’m excited for you and go to delight your marriage.com Click on Resources, understand the practical. What do you do? X, Y, and Z. examples, examples, examples. There’s definite underpinnings of understandings that you might be missing and nervous about, can I say this? Can we do this or isn’t this sinful? I want to make sure I clear those things up. But those are the things that are racking around in your brain. Because I want you to have this I want your marriage to have this. Alright, God bless you. I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful week, and I’ll talk to you next Tuesday. Bye.

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Thanks for listening. Stop by delight your marriage.com to check out all the show notes, as well as many more resources and articles. Until next time, live with love, wisdom impassion