The Journey That Brought Us Here

Belah’s ministry began out of her own brokenness. She entered marriage with high hopes, but quickly found herself in deep pain, eventually walking away from God after her first divorce. Yet in His mercy, God drew her back, healed her through the love of her husband Darrow, and opened her eyes to the power of intimacy in marriage.

Teaching and coaching men was never the intention. It was the result of an effort to save marriages from Belah’s own failure and heartbreak. She only intended to teach and work with women. She wrestled with the possibility that God may want her to help the hurting men who were reaching out to her for help. After much prayer, counsel, and her husband’s blessing, Belah stepped into this unusual space—teaching men how to love their wives well—always under Scripture’s authority and within clear, appropriate boundaries. 

To be clear, these are the scriptures that we are speaking about.

Biblical Foundations (Full Text for Key Passages)

Genesis 1:27 (ESV)
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

1 Corinthians 11:3 (ESV)
“But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”

Ephesians 5:22–25 (ESV)
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

1 Timothy 2:11–14 (ESV) 
“Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.”

(Given the context, the additional scriptures and female leaders below, we believe this is speaking of church orderliness.)

1 Timothy 3:1–5 (ESV) 
“The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?”

Judges 4:4–5 (ESV)
“Now Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, was judging Israel at that time. She used to sit under the palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the people of Israel came up to her for judgment.”

 

Women Leaders in the Bible:

 

• Deborah (Judge & Prophetess)
  Judges 4:4–16; Judges 5 — Deborah is explicitly called a prophetess and judge of Israel. She leads the people, gives commands to Barak, and sings a victory song.

• Miriam (Prophetess, Leader in Worship)
  Exodus 15:20–21 — Miriam leads Israel in worship after the crossing of the Red Sea.
  Micah 6:4 — God names Miriam alongside Moses and Aaron as a leader He sent.

• Huldah (Prophetess, Authority on God’s Word)
  2 Kings 22:14–20; 2 Chronicles 34:22–28 — King Josiah sends messengers to inquire of the Lord, and Huldah gives the authoritative prophetic word that guides national reform.

• Esther (Queen, Deliverer of Her People)
  Book of Esther — Esther takes decisive leadership to save the Jewish people, calling a fast, risking her life, and directing strategy.

• Abigail (Wisdom & Leadership in Crisis)
  1 Samuel 25 — Abigail intervenes to prevent David from bloodshed, leading with wisdom and courage.

• Proverbs 31 Wife (Entrepreneurial and Social Leader)
  Proverbs 31:10–31 — She leads with wisdom, resourcefulness, and compassion, managing her household and business with strength and godly influence.

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New Testament

• Anna (Prophetess)
  Luke 2:36–38 — Anna is called a prophetess who continually worships and speaks of the Messiah to others.

• The Samaritan Woman (First Evangelist)
  John 4:28–30, 39 — After encountering Jesus, she leads her whole town to come and believe in Him.

• Mary Magdalene (First One to Witness & Testify of Jesus’ Resurrection)
  John 20:16–18 — Mary Magdalene is the first witness of the resurrection, sent by Jesus to announce the news to the apostles (“apostle to the apostles”).

• Priscilla (Teacher alongside Aquila)
  Acts 18:24–26 — Priscilla and Aquila explain “the way of God more accurately” to Apollos, a learned man. Priscilla is named first in several passages (Acts 18:18; Romans 16:3; 2 Timothy 4:19).

• Phoebe (Deacon/Servant of the Church)
  Romans 16:1–2 — Phoebe is called a diakonos (deacon/minister) of the church at Cenchreae and a benefactor of many, including Paul.

• Junia (Outstanding among the Apostles)
  Romans 16:7 — Paul commends Junia as “outstanding among the apostles.” Early church fathers understood Junia to be a woman.

• Other Women in Ministry

  • Romans 16 lists multiple women in active ministry roles: Mary, Tryphena, Tryphosa, Persis.

  • Philippians 4:2–3 — Euodia and Syntyche are described as women who “labored side by side” with Paul in the gospel.

 

Additional References (for study and context): Matthew 19:3–12; 1 Corinthians 7:3–5; Titus 1:5–9; Song of Solomon; Proverbs 5; 1 Peter 3:1–7.

What Deborah Teaches Us

Deborah’s story (Judges 4–5) shows how God sometimes raises up a woman to call men to courageous obedience. She judged and led Israel with wisdom, spoke God’s word to Barak, and urged him to lead boldly. She didn’t replace his role—she confirmed it.

Like Deborah, Belah’s role is not to assume authority in the church but to remind men of their God-given responsibility: to rise up, lead with courage — as the New Testament teaches to do that, he must have a good marriage.