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transcript

0:00
Hey there, belah rose here. God bless you. I don’t know if you sneezed. But I hope that you are having a good day. And I’m glad you join me. So I’m doing readings for my book for a couple months over the summer, I felt like I needed to take a break and kind of do some things that I felt like God wanted me to do in the in the meantime. And so yeah, these are pre recorded, and I hope you were listening to them as they come out the week by week, so that you’re encouraged in your week to enjoy intimacy in your marriage to go have sex and enjoy it and, and be fine and frisky and passionate and godly and holy, which is all of those things in your marriage. So let’s dive into this week’s excerpt from delight your husband, your feelings are valid. A part of loving yourself is acknowledging the value of your feelings. Your emotions often run deep. They are pointing to something that God may want to heal, to change, to improve, to love on to allow you to move on, forgive, to give you understanding about or just experience. I have trouble in this area. As many of you I grew up with some significant dysfunction in my family. My my father struggled with alcoholism, and my mother was also raised with some significant dysfunction in her family life. I learned some damaging things about my feelings. Recently, at a meeting for families of alcoholics, the leader put it very well. She said alcoholism in our family teaches us not to value our own feelings, or the feelings of others. This is true of many other family dynamics or life events, not just alcoholism. Put another way, if we undervalue our own feelings, we cannot value the feelings of others. So we need as people to recognize that our feelings have value. I mean, if you remember, Jesus says love others as you would love yourself. So clearly, if we’re not loving ourselves, we’re loving the feelings the way that God has made us. How are we supposed to be loving someone else, the way that God has made them. Just because we feel something messy does not mean we’re crazy. I dislike when people give that excuse for their emotions or their perceptions. As women, we need to lose the excuse crazy, quote unquote, and delete it from our vocabulary. Calling yourself crazy is undervaluing yourself as a person. And I don’t think God likes that. He set you up with amazing, amazing reasoning capabilities, as well as often unexplainable sensitivities. Yet, if you’re struggling with an emotion, others are too and God may have planned that you will one day help them. Calling yourself crazy or discounting your feelings in some other way is damaging, you are not crazy. When you have uncomfortable feelings. It doesn’t mean you’re crazy. Instead, you have a feeling that is worth your attention. Though it is vulnerable and messy. Your feelings are valid. Many women are under the impression that ignoring or pushing aside their feelings will make them go away or make them a more desirable mate. Choosing not choosing not to indulge in a feeling is sometimes the wisest choice only if they have been properly processed first. By allowing yourself to feel your feelings you are able to consider what meaning it is bringing to you. Acknowledging and owning your emotions is treating your full self with value.

4:11
So vulnerability in the bedroom feel similar to vulnerably ability outside. It’s funny how God made sex to be such a great analogy to so much of life. We put on our emotional clothes, makeup and cover up any pain or hurt. We go out into the world guarded and protected. But when we’re alone with our own husband, it is our opportunity to remove the cover ups to take off the clothes and to be our true selves. I realized going without clothes in front of your husband does not feel good at first. It may take a while for you to truly feel relaxed, being bare bottomed in front of your honey as you keep at it. feeling comfortable in the vulnerability of your nakedness will support Your marriage in a meaningful way. I don’t mean you should always be nude around the house, necessarily. I do mean getting to a place of confidence. When you are nude or, and or scantily clad in front of him frequently. Generally, it is more exciting for him to be used to seeing you in clothes, but to wear much less or nothing at all, to when you give him that visual feast before lovemaking. I had to do some soul searching when I realized, though that though I have sexy lingerie, and Teddy’s in my drawer, I was rarely bringing them out for the pleasure of my husband. And I came to realize that I was running from vulnerability. And nowadays, when I sense that I know I need to resist running from it, and instead lean into that vulnerability. Only then can I uncover what is really going on. I searched my feelings. And I realized I’m not wearing these sexy things, sexy things I know that bring my husband great pleasure. I’m not wearing them to protect myself. Let’s say I’m naked to seduce my husband. If he shows that he’s not in the mood or doesn’t explicitly act like he’s in the mood. I could pretend I was just changing. It’s too hot or I’m just trying to be comfortable. being naked. I’m I feel kind of I felt kind of like I’m less open to being rejected. When I’m wearing sexy lingerie. My intention to seduce my husband is very clear. But where was I? Oh, for heaven’s sake, I’m not wearing them to be comfortable. By wearing my sexy outfit and giving him a show. I’m asking, do you find me attractive? Do you think I’m sexy? Do you desire me? Am I beautiful to you? All are very vulnerable questions. I was avoiding them because I wasn’t confident the answer would be yes. When I made the decision to press into these vulnerabilities and go for it, the fear is dissipated. He did really enjoy my more sexy outfits. He gave greatly positive responses to my advances. I’d encourage you to lean into the discomfort of your vulnerability. Let those difficult feelings wash over you. Do not run from them. Seek out what they’re telling you. The waterfall of discomfort cannot kill you push into them until you get to the other side. Recognize that it may not feel good for a couple of moments. But you are setting the stage for deeper intimacy that cannot be achieved otherwise, and your husband will love your sexy panties. Alright, well I again hope that you have been inspired to go for it tonight to push through that vulnerability and enjoy generous and wondrous intimacy this evening and the rest of this week. I hope you are inspired. I will talk to you next Tuesday for more inspirational readings until then, you can go to delight your marriage.com Check out the book and resources there. God bless