DYM Ep18: Don’t Let The Past Destroy Your Intimacy with Chris Taylor

7 Apr
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Hi there! Belah here. Today I have Chris Taylor of forgivenwife.com shares the struggles that began with two decades of incredibly sparse intimacy. Sex was something she didn’t enjoy because of her guilt due to a promiscuous past. Listen to the pain that’s so evident as Chris shares how sex began to transform her marriage. Though it was a difficult road of humility and change in herself and in her marriage. Sex drew her closer to her husband and God.

Scripture/Quote:

  • You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy. Psalm 30:11
  • Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

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You’ll Discover:

  • When Chris looks at her marriage, she would say that the first 20 years of her marriage was missing intimacy in every aspect.
  • When she was in college, she found worth in the her short-lived relationships that were essentially hookups.
  • She couldn’t understand sex as anything other than a power play.
  • How her husband would initiate sex and she felt offended by his advances and he felt rejected.
  • Sex always felt like it was for him and she would think about her grocery list waiting for it to end.
  • When her husband was depressed because of his lost job, he stopped initiating and that was a cue that something was wrong.
  • How she struggled for an entire year of pain to turn things around in intimacy.

 

Books & Resources Mentioned:

  • Myers Briggs personality tests: 16personalities.com
  • The Marriage Bed Forums boards.themarriagebed.com
  • Sign up for the free, live Peni webinar (oral sex training for wives): delightyourmarriage.com/14

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Tweetables:

  • We were both very lonely in our marriage. Both of us.
  • When he would open himself and be vulnerable, instead of responding positively, I would think he’s really digging deep to make me feel guilty so I’ll have sex.
  • Now I understand he wasn’t giving me what I wanted it was because he felt so rejected.
  • My husband would say, ‘I could live with sex once a month if you were really there for it’.
  • I worked one little baby step at a time and I failed more times than I succeeded but eventually I got to a place where I was confident in sex.
  • Sex was the thing that drove the wedge between me and God and it has also built the bridge back.
  • Over time our marriages can change, but it does take a lot of time, a lot of persistence and a lot of grace for ourselves and for our spouses.

 

Thanks for listening! I hope you are encouraged to live in wholehearted intimacy!

 

Love,

Belah

 

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