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Welcome to the delight your marriage podcast. This show where you hear from amazing and inspiring wives sharing their struggles, triumphs, and advice for this journey called marriage. Here’s your host belah rose.

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Hello, and welcome to the show. This is belah Rose and today we are talking about seduction. Yes, this is a show for wives saying why you should seduce your husbands. Today we are going to talk about first of all the nature of desire to why seduction matters. For the third thing, I’m going to talk about the steps of seduction. And then lastly, I’m going to give some practical keys on what to do to outside of the bedroom to make it even more enjoyable and exciting inside the bedroom. And lastly, I’m going to give you some further resources. So you can walk this out in your marriage. So let’s go ahead and dive in. This is just a shallow solo show with just me. So we are going to be talking just the two of us on this really important and steamy topics. So let’s dive in.

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So I got the idea for this topic, kind of from a number of different things. First of all, I’ve just heard it so many times from my girlfriends, when they’re talking about making love to their husband, or maybe they’re not talking details, but they’ll just little things will slide through that I’m just like, Wait, why it’s. So I remember this really amazing woman who’s just incredibly confident on the outside. And, you know, she’s an amazing theater theater person. And she’s I’ve seen her in various shows, she’s just incredible. And then I remember some of the things that she told me about how she would seduce her husband, it felt like she was almost telling him what to do. And the thing is, as much as I want to say, well, I don’t do that. The truth is I have done that I have said things like, well, we should just make love right now. Or you should have sex with me right now. Or, you know, I was you know, I was ready, I tried to tell you, but you didn’t understand, you know, like we make it into this argument. And then we expect our husband to respond excitedly and wanting to make love to us i i have been there I have done that foolishness, I really do think it’s foolishness on the part of the wife to not recognize the importance and the value of seduction for his for himself. So the other idea that was the reason this became an idea of something that I really needed to talk about on the podcast, was for Father’s Day, I got my husband, a really amazing gift. And I felt like it was thoughtful, I felt like I had really got the thing that he would want. And you might laugh when I tell you what it is. It was a fancy coffee mug, I would say fancy because it had you know a thermos with the lid on it and it would automatically lock closed unless you pushed a certain lever so that you know my little two munchkins running around, wouldn’t be able to knock it off the table and spill it. And my husband loves coffee. I don’t know what it is about him. But whenever I say would you like some coffee, honey, when I make him coffee in the morning, he just gets so excited. So I had felt like I had the perfect coffee, a perfect perfect Father’s Day present, which was this coffee cup. So I want to tell you the the process of how I gave it to him because studies show that people enjoy experiences and events more when there’s anticipation of the event, the event itself and then there’s I’m not sure what the word is, but almost like reflection reflecting back on the event later. So that’s if you want like the best bang for your buck in terms of experiences, make sure there’s anticipation, enjoy it in the moment and then also have that reflection period where you bring it back to your memory to just remember how wonderful it was. So with that idea in mind, I had gone with my little boys to the target to pick out this coffee cup and I had made sure that everyone was in a good attitude we had brought the wagon to the to the store so I just felt like it was a really great experience I was having just purchasing it for him. So I felt very authentic when I was like I’m so excited to give this to you because it’s you know, sometimes gifts get really strange and we get resentful of a gift we’re trying to give and that also makes sense with merit with with sex life when we’re trying to seduce him. And we get really weird about, you know, I did all this work for him and he didn’t, except, you know, he didn’t, whatever. It’s just it’s really the enemy just wants to steal the joy from that gift. So don’t let him do that. Anyway, let’s go back to this Father’s Day present we got we bought it at the target, we got home I and I think for a couple of weeks, maybe two weeks before Father’s Day, I was kind of teasing him about this gift. So I knew that he had lost the other coffee mug, I knew that he was having to use our coffee mug that didn’t have a lid. And each time it almost spilled, I would be like, Oh my gosh, honey, what if that had spilled, it would have made this big mess. Or every time you know, the kids were trying to get at it and almost burn themselves. Oh my gosh, honey, that was just so awful. I wish you had something better than just these little coffee mugs. And so I was just teasing him about it to make him really desire something better, something more. And even the days leading up to it. I remember asking him. And if you’ve been with a podcast for a while, you know, my husband loves soccer. So I remember asking him on a scale of one to 10. And we use that a lot on a scale of one to 10

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How much do you want a coffee mug? And he said 10. And the fact that he said 10 instead of because my other thought I was going to give him was a game to a ticket to it a game so we could all go as a family. And the fact that he said that for a coffee mug. I was like, Okay, I am really doing well, in terms of teasing him, he is really desiring this coffee mug. So finally, it was the day I gave him the gift. And he was so excited. And he was like, Honey, this is exactly what I wanted. How did you know? And then I started to tell him all the thought that went into this and how many times I teased him and all this stuff. And he didn’t even realize he did not have any idea. And yet he was so craving this mug. And then I was I gave it to him. And it was just the best thing ever. So he said that I have got to put it on my podcast. He told me that a couple months ago, because he said you really know how to make a man want it. And so it was interesting because I hadn’t even put the connection. That seduction is just that that’s exactly what it is. So that’s what we’re going to talk about today. I want to dive into next, you know why seduction matters. So, again, we use this rating one to 10. We use it so often in our marriage when we’re trying to get something clarified between the two of us, he’ll say on one to 10 How important is this to you? And I’ll say, you know, eight or whatever. And that means eight is pretty close to 10. You know, one would be the bare minimum, but eight is pretty darn good. So we use that one to 10 rating a lot. So I asked my husband, I was like, okay, so I think we were I can’t remember exactly when this conversation came up. But I asked him, so a lot of couples, I’ve heard from plenty that have a real hard time a really hard time seducing their husband. In fact, what they generally do is keep the lights off. And you know, have sex with the lights off. And and I asked my husband what he thought about that, like in terms of a rating system? What is that on the one to 10 spectrum if you don’t have the lights on? So that means the husband can’t see the woman he’s in love with the woman that he’s touching, he can’t see his wife. So that was lights off. The other one I asked him is what about when he starts when the man starts? You know, when he initiates. The other one I asked him is what about when you start what about when the wife starts things off? And then lastly, what about when she seduces him? Okay, so I asked him one to 10 What are these? So he said lights off is a level one. One to 10 the lights off is a level one. Then he said when when the man starts when he initiates sex, it’s a level four. Again, one to 10 level four is not too spicy. What about when the wife starts? What about when she says we should make love right now? Or what if she, you know gets close to him, but she doesn’t really take any effort to seduce him to play with his mind to cause him to want it. When she starts that way with very little no seduction at all. He said that’s a level eight. So that’s a big jump from whereas when the man initiates to when the woman initiates that’s level eight, so that’s out of one to 10 level eight is pretty high. So then I asked him Okay, so what about when the wife initiates She seduces him she gets him fired up, ready to go excited, teases him the whole nine yards. He said that is on a level one to 10 is a level 20 to 25. So you can see here, we’ve got lights off level one, he starts level four, you start level eight with no seduction, or when you seduce 20 to 25, that is huge. That is huge. So my end goal from this little podcast is to get you excited about seducing your husband just get you understanding why it’s important, why it matters. And the end goal is when you feel confident, confident and comfortable seducing your husband, you’re going to feel more sexy, more desired, you’re going to have more fun and intimacy. And you’ll feel totally loved and enjoyed because you will be and he will be as well. So that’s my end goal. I’m going to tell you a little bit of my journey, just the journey that I’ve have come through around surrounding seduction, I

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mean, first of all, I was very an pretty much unable to do anything along those lines. I mean, I thought that I was not one of those sexy women, I thought my body was gross, I really didn’t understand how other women were able to you know, strip and be all sexy and dance around and things like that. Because I was like I just don’t, if I had her body, maybe I would try something like that. But I don’t I wasn’t given that I’ve, you know, struggled with an eating disorder. Most of my life, I’ve had overweight, I’ve generally been overweight, most of my life. If you haven’t already, you could go back to Episode 20, where I talk about this quite a lot more. But then, you know, God did a lot of changes in my heart. And I made really hard choices. And I risked being silly in front of my husband over and over and over again. And slowly, I became much more confident. And I talked about that actually on episode 95. So you can check that out. But also, I slowly changed my eating habits and my workouts and lifestyle habits that have really enhanced the way that I view my body and who I am in it. And I go into that a lot more in Episode 100. And then of course, I go into all of this as well as much, much more in my delight your husband video course. And I asked you the hard question asked you to go deep into the specific areas that affected your life, and how you view your body and how you view confidence and how you view your lifestyle changes. And, you know, those are the really deep questions that I wish you and I could have time to go through coaching with to really get this out there. And the reason I want to tell you the reason I share my journey so much on this podcast is because what I have learned, and what studies actually suggest, what they found to be true is that I mean they’ve studied all these different organizations, all these different programs that help people change, and even religions that help that make people different from what they are. And they found one reason the most important reason to make people change is number one is their belief that they can change. And so that’s really why I do this podcast is that when you start listening to other women’s stories to see where they came from and where they are now, then it gives you hope that you can get on that journey yourself and become different. And that is exactly what I’ve done through the delight your husband video course, when I started out, I was humiliated, I felt like an idiot. I felt like my body was gross, I felt like the areas that my husband apparently appreciated most, I was actually the most afraid. And I couldn’t share that with him very well at all. And so I do want to kind of go into that, in our next piece here is that I need you to know that it’s gonna be scary at first. Anything that’s new is scary at first. But I think the enemy makes it extra scary for some reason with intimacy, because he knows that in a marriage that’s strong in this area where a woman feels sexually free and confident and fulfilled and able to do whatever she wants to do in marriage or whatever her husband it wants to have happen. I mean, that woman is fierce. The enemy can’t touch her because she’s fear she has this complete union with her husband, and they together are able to take on the world. So again, it’s going to be scary at first, but eventually you’re going to get good at it and eventually you’re going to begin to love it. And also if it is new to you, I just want you to know you really should feel silly. In the beginning. There are times that you are just going to have something that you think is ridiculous on and you’re going to, you know whatever you decide to do, and it’s going to feel like death, I mean, sometimes that kind of fear is like worse than death, it feels like like, I’m gonna die. This is so hard for me right now I get it, I get it, I get it. But this really matters to your marriage, again, we’re talking a level 20 to 25 out of 10. This matters. One reason this matters, I want you to just think about is that how much pressure a husband has, when it’s about intimacy surrounding intimacy, I mean, so much pressure, right, he generally has to do at all he has to be the one to, to get you in the mood, and then you know, use his fingers the right way, and uses, you know, all these different little things. And then he has to, you know, do a whole lot of work for quite a while. So depending on how your marriage looks, you know what I eat, you can just attribute that to whatever your marriage is like. But the thing that’s nice about seduction is you can join him in this work of excitement and joy around intimacy.

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And maybe he has to do quite a lot more work when you get started. But you can actually get things started. The other reason I think seduction is so important and so much a part of God’s will for our lives or our our lives as wives is that when a when a wife seduces her husband, and actually causes her body to get in the zone, it causes, you know, things to start moving in the ways they need to be moving. And just by moving your body in seductive ways that actually helps you. And you know, gets you in the attitude of lovemaking. And you know, if you’ve listened to my episode, Episode 96, note 69, Episode 69, where I talk about how much how much I think how much sex is enough, I think is the title of it. So I talked about that. But it’s really about getting yourself in the zone, getting yourself in the mode of seducing your spouse. Okay, so let me talk about the steps of seduction very practically, I wrote this pretty quick. But I think this is really what I think the steps of seduction are, number one, get him to want it. Number two, tease him. Number three, give him a little number four, pull away. And number five, then give him what he wants. So obviously, there’s teasing in there, there’s, you know, getting him inspire getting him excited, pulling away a little bit, a little bit, I should say. But that’s really, that’s the steps that I you know, kind of use to. And, of course, first of all, this is going to be awkward at first, it’s going to be hard to figure this thing out at first. But if you just try the whole teasing idea a little bit. And of course, you know, it has to all start from your conviction that you are sexy, that you were desired that your husband desires intimacy with you, that’s what it’s just got to start that way, you have got to know what God thinks about you and about your body, your body is precious, your body is amazing, you are the one who God created. So I’m going to just come back to those steps of seduction in a minute because I want to talk about some practical things to help you to seduce your husband. And then we’re going to talk about the steps once again. Some practical keys that I’ve learned really help you seduce your husband if you do them outside of the bedroom. So number one is balance is really important. If you’re anything like me, it’s very humbling when you get in front of your husband trying to do something that’s a little bit difficult, and you’d fall over. So just start by balancing on one foot when you’re like in a grocery line. For example, when you’re buying groceries or, or just just balance here and there. Maybe probably not in the shower is not a great place to balance but I just find just little opportunities to balance on one foot. And like I’m doing it right now, just because I’m talking about it and that just helps me it’s not the easiest thing at first, but it gets better. And then slowly you’ll become much less awkward in the bedroom as well. Another thing that I do that I find really helps is I listen to music when I am working a lot of time so I’ll have

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you know my headphones on or even when I’m cleaning. Sometimes I’ll listen to a Pandora station. Bethel happens to be my favorite if you want a suggestion. Bethel is a is a worship team, b e t h e l but anyway, I’ll be listening to the Pandora station and sometimes a song will come on that has a really good beat. And I will just start dancing all by myself. And that has really helped me to learn kind of how my body moves and how to move my body. And no I don’t know how to actually dance. Not even close. I’m terrible when it gets to you know, real Dancing things. But when it’s me and my husband, I can figure things out. Because I’ve learned how to do it all by myself first. Another thing you can do is start to find things that make you feel sexy, right? The balance thing is something that I enjoy, that’s but I also think it helps, as well as dancing by yourself that that helps me to feel sexy, but, but figure out what makes you feel sexy. And maybe you’re at a place where you can’t think of those things, I’m going to challenge you pick a couple, just start doing some things. And slowly, when you start doing things, you’re going to start to find that you really like certain things, or you don’t like other things, so you need to just commit to do some things that make you feel sexy, just put them on a little list of what makes me feel sexy, XY and Z, and start doing those things. Another one is to treat your body. Well, you know, in my course, to let your husband I go through a guided tour of how to pray through some, some times in the shower, where you are just thanking God for every detail he has given you. I think that’s vital. I think that’s really important. Because if you don’t truly get how God feels about your body, you’re not going to be able to cherish it, the to the degree that God wants you to. And that is what section is all about. It’s like, Hey, look at me, I am exactly what you’re looking for. I mean, that is what you’re doing. When you’re seducing your husband, you’re saying this is what you get to enjoy this, all of this that God gave you? Do you see that difference? When you have a level of confidence already? Already done? That hard work of confidence already is done under your belt, you can seduce your man with ease. It’s like that, and it’s fun, and it’s exciting. So um, I did mention about purify your thoughts in Episode 104. About this, but I’m just going to clarify again, you need to really stop letting your mind think through comparisons. I was just reading Proverbs, I think it’s 1430. It says something like peace is like peace brings life to the body. But envy rots the bones. When you are putting your mind on things that are not of God, when you are allowing your mind to compare yourself to the supermodel in the grocery store, magazine rack or you’re comparing your yourself to all these other people that is literally rotting your bones Do you see? Do you see God says that’s enough, you need to stop this. And the truth is only you only you can stop that stop spending your mind spending your thoughts on the things that are fading away. Don’t allow your body to be a such a terrible thing that God wants you to cherish he created it he designed your body with the intention. So I do encourage you

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to you have to make that a really important piece. Okay, so I want to I said I wanted to get back to the steps of seduction, I just went through the practical keys that I think is important the balance dancing by yourself finding things that make you feel sexy and treating your body well. As well as spending your mind on thoughts that God approves of. So again, the steps of subjection, let’s just go through them again. Number one is get him to want it number two, tease him number three, give him a little number four, pull away, number five, and then give him what he wants. So that is really the the steps here. Now I’m not going to go into these two too, practically, because I’ve done that so thoroughly on the delight your husband course, I would really encourage you if you have decided, you know, even through this conversation, that you need more about God’s perspectives of sex. Like maybe this doesn’t seem godly to you. Maybe this whole conversation seems a little tainted with sin. I want I challenge you. You need to know what God says about sex. You need to understand the Bible’s perspective on marital intimacy because it is absolutely a okay and encouraged to seduce your husband. If you need a little bit more understanding about your husband’s view of sex, maybe you need to know how does he see sex? How does he understand my body and what is he even? What is his physiology? Like? I mean, how do things work in there? How do erections work and how often do they happen and and you know, what do I need to do as a as a wife to seduce him? Even practically, that is exactly what the delight your husband course is all about to bring either a wife that’s maybe feeling really insecure in these areas, to get her to a place where she can feel fierce and free. And truly I think that this is Episode is kind of for women that are a little farther along, they’ve already pretty much decided that they know sexual intimacy is of God and, and frequent sexual intimacy is important to him as well. But I think you need if you want to really understand seduction and be able to do it really, really well. You need some understandings, you need to have the truly physiology, I mean, physiological, that’s what I’m trying to say, the physiological pieces down, you need to get what God has designed your husband to be, how he’s designed his body to work, and understand how those go together with you as well. Now, on my course, delight your husband, I talk a lot about oral intimacy. The reason is this. If you’re uncomfortable with oral sex, you’re probably uncomfortable with many other types of intimacy as well. And the thing is, the Bible gives the green light with oral intimacy and even specifically talks about it. So I would encourage you to make a decision, make a decision right now that you are going to do this journey, you are going to do this work, you know, I still do some coaching calls here and there when my time allows it. But that’s exactly what it is, it’s ultimately are you going to be able to do this work, because you need to do work in order to get to a place where you can actually feel free to seduce your husband, it’s not the easiest thing, but you don’t have to do it alone. That’s really what I encourage you. So the delight your husband video course, is for you, I really believe if this is something you need to understand how to seduce your man, get that course because it’s going to go through everything from soup to nuts. And at the very least, you should go and watch the first video for free. And all you have to go is to delight your marriage.com Click on Resources, and then the dy H video course. And you’ll be able to find that free video if you scroll down. So again, steps of seduction, get him to want it. Number two, tease him. Number three, give him some number four, pull away and number five and give him what he wants. Now, I encourage you to don’t do too much teasing, because it might make him crazy. But play with it a little bit understand what really works. And and do, I encourage you to make a choice today, to really try out a piece of seduction. Now there’s one reason I didn’t go into the real depth in this audio is because a lot of husbands listen to this podcast, I think I hear from husbands more often than I hear for why from wives, I think it’s because they want this work. They need it in their in their marriages, they want this work to continue. But the truth is because husbands listen to this podcast, I don’t want to step over my bounds in what I have to say. And so if you want the full information, you want to really dig into this, which I really encourage you because when you feel fierce and free in the bedroom, there is a freedom that you walk with there is a there is a conviction that you walk with as a wife that says I know my husband, I know I can make him wild at any moment. I know who my husband is, I know my role, I know who he is as a protector of me and, and that we connect and there’s unify I mean, there’s just a freedom there that you can’t get any other way. So again, that had I didn’t go into the detail here. But I encourage you as a wife, to get into this to do this to to decide a season of figuring this thing out, I decide a season of delight your husband video course I would, I would say give yourselves three to four months to give yourself to this program to really to do all of the journal entries. And to do all of the steamy to do is I asked you after every section every chapter I asked you to do a steep need to do which is a real practical, something you have got to do in your marriage, something you’ve got to do to your husband, and it starts off slow. But slowly I add an add an add so then eventually you’re to a place where you absolutely can make your husband wild for you. That’s that’s the purpose of this course. That’s why I do this work. And it’s why like I said, all these husbands are so desperate to get their wives into my material. How how can I get them into this material? I don’t know. I’m doing my best. You want to become the wife that he desires because it truly is God’s design. I believe truly for your marriage when he said the two shall become one. That’s what he was talking about. He was talking about a fierceness. A freedom and seduction is a huge part of that. understanding who your husband is the man that he is that God created him to be. is a huge part of that. seducing that man. Ooh, that is a lot of fun. So ladies, I encourage you you are going to do great I know you We’ll take a first step today

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Wow, very cool. Well, I know that you are excited and you are ready to go do some extra either do it this seduce your husband or learn some more or get on the wagon to get this piece of your intimacy and in place, the things we went over today as we talked about the nature of desire, we talked about why seduction matters, we talked about some practical keys and things that you can do just on a daily basis to help you in terms of seduction, we also talked about the steps of seduction. And also we talked about further resources for you to get this to really understand your sexual wholeness and fierceness with your marriage partner, your spouse, and I’m so excited for you, this is an exciting journey to get moving on, I would encourage you to find a girlfriend to get an accountability partner to do this work with you. So go to delight your marriage.com just click on Resources, you can get the course right there. And as you know, if you’ve listened to the podcast for a while, this course used to be offered, I think, three or four times what it is offered at now. So this is absolutely the time to get it as soon as you can. Alright, God bless you. I’m praying for you. I’m praying that this message would spur you on to action. Because truly, there’s just too many marriages that that need this kind of information and insight and I hope that you will take it seriously and, and God will really bless that with you. God bless you and I’ll praying for you and I’ll talk to you next Tuesday. Bye bye.

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Thanks for listening. Stop by delight your marriage.com to check out all the show notes, as well as many more resources and articles. Until next time, live with love, wisdom impassion