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Brad’s a financial planner. Spreadsheets, formulas, five-year plans. That’s his world.
Deidre? Her life goal at 18 was to marry Brad. Done. Next dream? Mission field. Adoption. A farm. Big, wild, beautiful dreams…
You can imagine the tension.
He’s thinking: “Is this just a dream, or am I actually supposed to take action on this?”
She’s thinking: “Don’t you dare kill this dream.”
But here’s what happened over 25 years of marriage: Brad learned to put feet to Deidre’s dreams. And Deidre learned to appreciate the power of a plan. Together, they adopted three kids from Guatemala and Ethiopia, built a farm, and launched two businesses that serve people through financial planning and life planning.
The secret? They learned to see each other’s strengths instead of criticizing each other’s gaps. Deidre has a core value of generosity. Brad has a core value of stewardship. The enemy would love to make her see him as stingy and him see her as wasteful. But when you name those values and honor them? You multiply your kingdom impact.
This week’s episode is a conversation with Brad and Deidre King, and honestly, it might be one you listen to with your wife. It’s about getting on the same page with finances, with dreams, with purpose, and with God’s plan for your family.
One more thing Brad said that I love: “God, what do you want me to know about this situation? And what do you want me to do about it?” Two questions. Every day. That’s the balance between planning through just our flesh/skill/effort even our gifting, and walking out your gifting by the Spirit.
If you’re ready to get your marriage aligned and moving in the same direction, we can help. delightyourmarriage.com/cc
DYM coaches husbands and wives to transform their marriage even if only one does the work — but we encourage the husbands to go first.
Blessings,
Belah
PS – Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.
PPS – Ready to start your healing journey? Schedule a free Clarity Call and see if our programs are the right fit for you.
PPPS – Here is what (another) recent Coaching Graduate had to say:
[before coaching], “My wife and I struggled to get along, have normal conversation (Planning, catching up, connecting) without it leading to an argument. We were so intimately disconnected that it led to months of no sexual intimacy or a desire for sex from her. We went over a year without sex and it was so painful. We constantly fought about any and everything.”[after coaching] “One of the greatest celebrations has been having sex again! And enjoying it! We have sex at least once a week and it has been so wonderful. It is intimate and we are growing in knowing each other in new ways.“
Here is an AI-generated summary of today’s episode:
Unified in Future Planning: How to Get on the Same Page with Your Spouse About Finances, Dreams, and God’s Vision
He’s a planner. She’s a dreamer. After 25 years of marriage, Brad and Deidre King have learned that those two things aren’t in conflict, they’re a God-designed complement. In this episode, Belah sits down with this incredible couple to talk about finances, life planning, core values, and what it really looks like to chase a shared vision as husband and wife.
The Planner and the Dreamer
Brad started his financial planning career right out of college. He almost went into ministry, but God showed him over time that helping people steward their finances is ministry. “When you’re meeting with people and talking about stewarding what they’ve been given, putting together plans for them, and learning how to live into the kingdom with what God has given them, it certainly is ministry.”
Deidre, on the other hand, was the free spirit. “My life goal at 18 was to marry Brad.” After seven years of helping Brad build his practice, she became a stay-at-home mom when their first adopted daughter came home. Then twins. She lived in the moment while Brad lived in the plan.
How Brad Made Planning Fun
Instead of forcing Deidre into spreadsheets, Brad got creative. “He would say, ‘We’re gonna go up to the mountains and get a cabin for the weekend. We’re gonna eat some good food. We’re gonna go on some adventures. And while we’re doing that, I’m gonna ask you these vision questions.'”
It took about 15 years for the power of planning to fully click for Deidre. But looking back, she was blown away by how quickly they achieved what they wrote down. The lesson for husbands: meet your wife where she is. Make it enjoyable. Don’t force your formula on her.
When Her Dreams Scare You
Deidre is a natural dreamer. And Brad admitted that her big visions sometimes “scared the mess out of him.” Early in their marriage, she said things like, “I’m gonna go to the mission field one day.” Brad was building a career and thinking, “That’s not in my plan.”
But God united those dreams through adoption. They traveled to Guatemala and Ethiopia, adopted three children, and had the financial resources to make it happen because of Brad’s planning. “It was a really cool union of the things she had dreamed about early on that we got to experience together.”
Core Values: The Hidden Source of Marital Conflict
Through a LifePlan process (more on that below), Brad and Deidre discovered their core values, the deep, often unconscious things guiding their decisions. Deidre explained how this changes marriages:
“If I have the core value of generosity and he has the core value of stewardship, the enemy can get in. Both are from God. Both are biblical. But if I’m wanting to give money to every charity, he’s gonna say, ‘Look at how wasteful she is.’ And if he’s saying, ‘Stop giving money,’ I’m gonna think, ‘Why did God give me this stingy husband?'”
The antidote: name the core values, honor them, and ask each other for help. “You have the gift of stewardship. I need you to help me see where I can be generous while being a good steward.” That’s how you multiply your kingdom impact instead of tearing each other apart.
Be Your Wife’s Biggest Cheerleader
Brad keeps a copy of his LifePlan summary and Deidre’s next to his journal every morning. As he reads scripture and processes his day, he reads through their plans, reminding himself of how God wired each of them.
“It gives me words,” Brad shared. “Not a formula, but words, to say, ‘That’s what this feeling is,’ or ‘This thing that’s happening right now, that’s because she’s generous.’ It helps us recognize what’s actually happening instead of fighting over it.”
And when Deidre came to Brad about starting her life planning business after years as a stay-at-home mom, his response was immediate: “It wasn’t challenging at all because she’s amazing at it.” He saw her come alive in her gifting and said, “There’s nothing like that.”
LifePlan: A Strategic Plan for Your Life
Deidre discovered the LifePlan process through the Patterson Center when she and Brad were navigating a season of uncertainty. They had bought land to build a dream home, then COVID hit and made it unaffordable. In that waiting, Deidre found a podcast about LifePlan and sent it to Brad.
“I didn’t wanna drive that bus,” she said. “So I prayed, ‘God, if this is of you, speak to him about it.'” Brad listened to it twice on his tractor and texted her: “This seems legit. I think we need to do it.”
They flew to Denver for a three-day couples LifePlan. When the facilitator revealed Deidre’s talents back to her, she started crying. “That person’s beautiful, and it doesn’t feel like me. These are my words, but I’m not living that anymore.”
That experience lit a fire. Deidre got trained and licensed, and now facilitates individual and couples LifePlans at Shalva Farm in Alabama: two-day, in-person intensives that go deep into who God made you to be.
The Balance: Plan Your Way, Let God Direct Your Steps
Brad leaned on Proverbs 16:9 throughout the conversation: “Man plans his way, but God directs his steps.” He shared that as he’s matured in Christ, the “God directs his steps” part has become far more important.
His daily practice before client meetings: “God, what do you want me to know about this situation? And what do you want me to do about it?”
“We have the Holy Spirit living inside of us. He will reveal those things to us. You don’t have to be a person that sits down with a five-year vision or you’re just not gonna be successful. He will guide you.”
Brad also recommended Living Fearless by Jamie Winship and The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer for anyone wanting to slow down and walk more closely with God.
Don’t Let the Enemy Get a Foothold
Both Brad and Deidre are committed to resolving conflict quickly. They don’t always resolve it before bed (Deidre was honest about that), but they don’t let things fester.
“We’ve gotten better over time at doing it faster,” Brad said. “When there’s disagreement, that means the enemy’s here somewhere, and there’s a lie. We want to find out what it is.”
Deidre’s approach: “When fear or disagreement shows up, it’s a trigger. Let me get alone with God. What am I missing? What lie am I believing about Brad or about God?” When both spouses do that and come back together with confession and repentance, unity returns fast.
Visualization vs. Manifesting: Keeping It God-Centered
Deidre addressed the tension many Christians feel about dreaming and vision work. Her framework: God has placed right, good, and true gifts inside you. The parable of the talents shows that God expects us to develop and steward what He’s given. A neglected talent stagnates.
“Always come back to: God, is this from me or from you? Is this one of the good works you’ve given me to steward? And be okay to pivot when God tells you to.”
Brad added: “A lot of the principles in business books are true because they came from scripture first. The question is always: is this what God wants me to do with it?”
Co-Laborers with God
Brad closed with a powerful truth: “1 Corinthians 3:9 says we’re co-laborers, coworkers with God. We work with Him.” When you understand that the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead resides in you, you can wake up every morning with excitement that your gifts, your marriage, and your family are building something that matters for eternity.
Deidre’s encouragement to couples: “There’s no disunity in the Spirit. When you’re fostering your relationship with God and your spouse is fostering theirs, you’re going to grow closer together. That’s where unity is found.”
Connect with Brad and Deidre
Life Planning (Deidre): shalvaplanning.com
Financial Planning (Brad): shalvafinancial.com
Located between Birmingham and Tuscaloosa, Alabama, about 30 minutes from Birmingham Airport
Your Assignment
Ask your wife about her dreams this week. Don’t evaluate them. Just listen.
If you’re the planner, make the next vision conversation fun: a weekend getaway, a great meal, an adventure, and some honest questions about the future.
Name one core value you each carry. See how they complement each other instead of compete.
Start your mornings with Brad’s two questions: “God, what do you want me to know? And what do you want me to do about it?”
If conflict is lingering, address it today. Find the lie. Get back to unity.
If you’re ready to get aligned in your marriage and moving toward shared purpose, we’d love to walk with you. Book a clarity call and let’s talk.
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