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transcript

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Hey there, this is belah rose, thank you so much for joining the delight your marriage podcast. So we are taking a break for the summer, we’ll be back in August. But until then I want to read you an excerpt from my book every week so that you get some encouragement in your marriage, and in your sex life in marriage. So, again, my book is called delight your husband, you can go to delight your marriage.com to get all the resources, but especially my book, you can either purchase it there, or you can even check out the video course, which has a lot of great material as well. So let’s dive into this excerpt. It’s called a way forward. What is your marriage status quo? Does the sweat does the status quo of your marriage feel less than enjoyable? Does the marriage bed feel downright painful, emotionally and or physically? I wrote this book because sex is an amazing opportunity for growth and healing in a marriage. Your marriage bed can be wrought with rejection, feelings of inadequacy, sadness, and even humiliation. I’ve experienced painful times. I remember putting myself out there just to be shut down. I want you to know that you are not alone. The statistics are truly frightening. roughly 46% of recently married couples failed to reach their 25th wedding anniversary. The top five reasons of divorce vary from survey to survey. But generally the first reason divorce is finances. And not far behind is sex. Interestingly enough, a study found that increasing sexual intercourse from once a week or once a month to once a week would have the same mood boosting effects as adding $50,000 a year in income. Why not kill two birds with one stone, a lot can be attributed to the bedroom. If you’re not satisfied with how things are in your marriage, investing in your sexual relationship is a great place to start. So I’m going to skip down a little bit. I kind of asked some questions and talk about if you’re having significant difficult challenges and how to work through those. But the next part of the book says it can change. I bet you have a pretty good picture as to where you are now in your marriage. For those of you who are anywhere below six, I want to speak to you. I am not content with the way things are. If this way things are staying in your marriage. I don’t think you are either. We live this life once and in ain’t no dress rehearsal. Your marriage should be a sacred place of intimacy, healing from the bowels of the world, and a deep joy. glance back up to your goals in your workbook. Do not give up hope God wants to transform your marriage into what into what the desires of your heart are. He is for you and for your marriage. You have gone this far into the program because you had an inkling there are still things you can do to get your marriage back on track. You believe deep down, that you can play a powerful part in God turning your marriage around. He wants to use you in this miss it mission. He wants to use you to change your husband’s heart back towards you this marriage and ultimately to him. He cares about your marriage. A good marriage draws you both closer to God. Just about any marriage, even when moving through a difficult season can make you more like Jesus, teaching you in very practical ways to turn the other cheek, to be a servant, to walk in love and be clothed in humility. No matter where you find yourself. God is teaching you to be more like him. If you follow his lead, yes, even in the area of sex, God can redeem your relationship. I’ve seen him do it too many others lives and my own. He has taken me and my marriage out of the slums of sin, pain and brokenness. And he has brought it to a place of healing, redemption and deep love. He did this. But he required me to be part of the solution. If we sit on the sidelines and wait for to see God move, we’re missing a great part of his plan. In his infinite wisdom, he has chosen you to play a vital role in your husband’s life. He wants you to love your husband just as he loved you. He loved you so much that He gave His own life

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so that we could know Him and be with him. So I want to be very clear about the way forward. Below are steps A, B, C and D to give you a sense of how we will move forward. A acknowledge first we’ve accomplished this, you have acknowledged your pain where you are now and how you got there. Be pray. Secondly, acknowledge your need for God’s help and ask fervently for it. For the rest of this course pray daily for your husband and for your marriage. Set a reminder in your phone or calendar to pray everyday for your marriage. As a starting place, pray, God, thank you for loving me so deeply and truly, thank you for entrusting me with this marriage. I don’t fully understand your plan. But God I asked you to lead me and help me to be more like Jesus in this marriage helped me to love and serve my husband as deeply as you love me. Help me to love my husband and the place of intimacy the way that you desire me to. In Jesus name, amen. And then see trust, trust that God can move and believe he is directing your path. I’m going to skip down, D Learn and act. Through this material and others I asked you to apply your heart to wisdom and understanding. I’m going to skip down a little bit to and then it says action in the bedroom. God has kindly given us many avenues to love one another. In The Five Love Languages book, Gary D. Chapman describes the many ways we love the many ways each of us experience love. He says we all experience love through five avenues, giving gifts spending time together, affirming each other with words, physically touching and doing acts of service for each other. Each of us have a specific way that is most enjoyable for us. Usually one is more primary than the others of how we enjoy receiving and giving love. Further men and women have more general ways that are specific to male and female. So love making encompasses all of these languages. You can complement each other spent time give serve. And obviously there’s quite a lot of physical touch. One vital difference between many males and females is the importance of sex in showing love to one another. Generally women experience sex as an opportunity for affection and physical closeness to their partners. But the male experience of sex when in a committed relationship is actually emotional closeness. A woman enjoys her orgasm, the tender touch of her husband and serving her partner. But it’s not always a source of emotional, closest men. Let’s see. A woman may feel more loved through a deep conversation and generous affection. Put another way men love through sex. Women desire emotional closeness as do men, but for men it is achieved through the sexual act. Women’s experience of love should not be considered more important than the male’s experience of love. Within holy matrimony. God wants you to grow together as a couple. He wants you to meet your husband’s needs and your husband to meet your needs. I’m just gonna read that little part again before we finish. But it says a woman may feel more loved through a deep conversation and generous affection. Put another way men love through sex. Women desire emotional closeness as do men, but for men it is achieved through the sexual act. So I hope this has given you just a little bit of encouragement and insight into your marriage and into lovemaking. And I just encourage you to go for it this week. To love your husband well to encourage him to have hope in your marriage. God bless you. I’ll talk to you next Tuesday.