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 Episode 40 “The Fight Of A Real Man”

Episode 41 “Is Sex A Need Or A Desire”

Hi there! Belah here. Today is Part II of my interview with Luke Gilkerson of covenanteyes.com. On this episode, Luke talks about makes about man . . . well, manly. This interview is jam-packed with powerful insights and filled with inspiration for both husbands and wives. Luke dives into what the scripture tells us about pornography, masturbation, and being a man—in its core. Listen in as he discusses the issues facing young boys and men alike, the trauma and struggle they go through when they become enslaved to pornography. Also a bonus toward the end of the episode, Luke and I go back and forth about the philosophical aspect of sex, marriage, and life in general. This is one episode you definitely don’t want to miss!

Check out Part I at delightyourmarriage.com/39

You’ll Discover:

• Why lust is considered unmanly
• How to teach our boys to prize women and not treat them as objects
• How a sex/pornography addict’s brain is comparable to that of a drug addict or alcoholic
• What Luke says about the lies women believe about themselves, which they think is supposedly link to their husbands’ porn addiction
• Why sex should not be called a NEED. What should we call it, then?
• Helpful tips on how to educate your children, as well as help your husband recover.

Books & Resources Mentioned:

It’s All About Me: The Problem with Masturbation by Winston T. Smith

Neural Correlates of Sexual Cue Reactivity in Individuals with and without Compulsive Sexual Behaviours by Valerie Voon, Thomas B. Mole, Paula Banca, Laura Porter, Laurel Morris, Simon Mitchell, Tatyana R. Lapa, Judy Karr, Neil A. Harrison, Marc N. Potenza, Michael Irvine

Porn and Your Husband: A Recovery Guide for Wives ebook

Your Brain on Porn ebook

Hope After Porn ebook

When Your Child Is Looking at Porn ebook

Scripture/Quote:

• “[Treat] older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” 1 Timothy 5:2
• “Lust is craving sexually what God has forbidden.” -Joshua Harris
• “At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for, and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.” -John Piper, from the book Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
• “For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back; sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no woman can rival. Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself. . . . After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.” – C. S. Lewis, found in The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume 3
• “When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” Mark 12:25
• “Now for the matters you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’” 1 Corinthians 7:1

Tweetables:

• We have to teach our sons that lust robs women of their dignity.
• We want our boys to accept the responsibility of servant-hearted leadership, not taking what they can get from others.
• Lustful fantasy really just makes a man feel like a man, without requiring him to be one.
• Men and women need to understand that the answer to battling pornography is NOT sexual frequency.
• Emotional intimacy is vital for the health of a couple’s marriage.
• Resist the urge to identify or to call sex a need, the same way that we would call other things needs.

Thanks for listening! I hope you are encouraged to live in wholehearted intimacy!

Love,

Belah

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